


Many Voices

by Sincere_Nonsense



Series: The Lineage of Primus [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Angst, Autobot/Decepticon War Origin, Corrupt Governments, Friendship, Gen, Ignores most other things in the aligned continuity, More angst, Psychic Abilities, Soundwave origin story, Transformers Prime continuity, alien robot high school, borrows from various other transformers continuities, emotional support animals that talk, getting lost during field trips, starting rebellions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 83
Words: 399,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25702288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincere_Nonsense/pseuds/Sincere_Nonsense
Summary: Soundwave considers his ability to hear others' thoughts as more of a curse than a gift. But as he learns to use his talent, he finds he has great power to protect the people around him. As he gets older, the stakes get higher and the bullies get bigger. Will he be strong enough to keep his friends safe in a dying society? If he isn't, does it really matter what side he chooses?
Series: The Lineage of Primus [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864063
Comments: 195
Kudos: 159





	1. Cheaters Never Prosper

Bluefable leaned forward, elbows on her desk.

She didn't need to tell me why she'd asked me to come to her office.

I could hear it already.

_What should I say to him? This is the last straw, really. He’s not sorry—he’s not willing to change. He thinks he can do whatever he wants and cheat his way through life…_

"Soundwave." She cycled in a deep vent. _We can't pity him to the point of letting him get away with this…_ "I'm afraid there's a problem with the history assessment you took last decaorn."

I looked down. Of course there was a problem with it.

_He thinks that will work like it does on Cablereach. That pathetic turbo-puppy charade. Doesn’t he realize it’s not even cute when he does it? I can't do this any longer. One of us has to put our pede down._

"I'm just going to be straightforward with you," she said. "You need to stop cheating on tests and assignments or you will be expelled."

Silence fell. Silence for her at least, as she waited for me to respond. For me, there was no such thing as silence.

"I need you to promise you won't do this again. Talk to me, Soundwave."

"Okay," I said quietly.

"This is your last chance, and I will be reporting to the Headmaster." _If he can't stop this, Graycharter will expel him no matter how rich his caretaker is. He doesn't care, though. Look at him—he’s so calm, like none of this matters to him._

 _I'm sorry,_ I thought. And maybe if I could have said it, dripping with sarcasm and pent-up frustration, I would have.

"Why?" she said when my silence started to bother her. "Why can't you just do your own work? I'm not even sure _how_ you're doing it. Every quiz, every assessment, every in-class assignment is copied from the other students."

That wasn't true. But after a while they always started seeing it, even where it wasn't.

"Soundwave, I need an answer."

Really? That had sounded like a rhetorical question to me.

"Why did you cheat on this last assessment?" _I'm going to give him a zero on it, which will bring his grade in my class down below sixty percent. I hope he knows that's failing._ "I don't know how many times you've been told you can't just lie your way through school without doing any work. Why won’t you make an effort to change?"

I dreaded this more than anything else. The necessary explanation. The necessary lie. But most of all the necessary talking.

I'd never been very good at talking.

"I ju-ust… didn't kno-o-ow the a-answers."

My stutter was always worse when I was nervous.

 _Like something a sparkling would say. Surely he knows better than that. Or is there truly something wrong with his processor?_ A hint of fear crept into her emotional core. I could feel that, just like I could hear her thoughts. She suppressed a shudder as she stared at the dark screen that was mounted where my faceplate ought to be. "That's not an excuse," she snapped, trying to hide her discomfort with anger. "If you don't know the answer, then guess, or answer wrong, or leave the problem blank. Cheating doesn't help anyone, especially not you."

But sometimes it was so hard not to cheat that it wasn't worth it.

"If you cheat again you will be expelled." _His caretaker will have to find him another school. If there are any left. She'll eventually start having to send him to public schools._

I nodded. I knew I'd be expelled. I'd have to start over again and wait for the stares to go away and the curiosity to settle out all over again.

"And have you gone to see Ochre about your voice box? I think it's getting worse."

Yes. But the school's medic, just like every other medic I'd been to see couldn't do anything. _Nobody_ could do anything. There was nothing _wrong_ with my voice box.

"Soundwave?"

_Is he even in there?_

"Ye-es."

She stared.

"I we-e-ent to see-ee Ochre."

"All right," she sighed. "Well, I suppose there’s no use continuing this conversation. You can go back to whatever class you were in. You received a zero on your test so you'd better study hard for the next one or you're in danger of failing the class."

That was nothing new.

I failed classes; I got expelled.

The cycle never ended.

I turned and left. Out of Bluefable’s empty room and down the long corridor. I had no desire to go back to class. I wished she'd sent me somewhere else, like Ochre's office which was rarely crowded, or back to my room where I could study in peace.

* * *

_Hey, it's Soundwave._ "Look who's over there, all by himself…"

"Heard he's getting expelled."

"Aw, too bad." _He's fun to mess with._ "Should we go console him?"

"Exactly what I was thinking."

"Hey, freak!" Verdict yelled.

I bent lower over my data pad. I normally spent all my time after classes were done in the library or in my room, but this orn I’d decided to go outside instead. Clouds in the sky threatened acid rain, so I'd hoped everyone would be indoors and I'd have some quiet. I'd gone all the way to the end of the yard behind the school and found a secluded spot to sit. I hadn't expected _them_ to be out here.

Now they'd noticed me, and my best option was to ignore them and hope they got bored quickly.

"Can you hear me in there?" _He's such an idiot. Practically a drone._

Of course I could hear him.

Verdict came up behind me and I tensed. I couldn't help myself, because I knew what was coming.

He smacked me in the back of the helm. "Hey, glitch-face, look up."

I turned around and he tried to snatch the data pad from my fingers. But I saw that coming too, and got it out of his reach in time.

That made him mad. He grabbed my shoulder and yanked me forward and off balance. The data pad flew from my hand and hit the ground. I heard the screen crack.

"Oops," he said. "Watch out, grease-fingers."

I pulled away from him and sat down again, ignoring the data pad.

_Creepy glitch._

"Didn't need that, huh?" Verdict asked.

"Nah. He's got that data pad across his face." One of Verdict's friends said.

"We could break that too." The other growled.

I saw my screen in his imagination, broken and leaking energon. I wished I just got the words, not images too.

"What do you say?" Verdict grinned. "Want us to break it for you?"

I looked down again. Where was a teacher when you needed one?

Not near enough. Not anywhere near enough.

Some mecha were afraid of me. Some thought I was stupid. But most of them left me alone. Not these three. As far as I could tell, Verdict just liked tormenting other mecha. It wasn't just me. He and his friends had a few favorites to pick on, but everyone knew not to make them mad at you or let them catch you alone.

"I need an answer," Verdict said. "Or I'm just going to have to assume you mean yes."

Verdict's creators were both well-known lawyers, and because of that he was pretty sure he could get away with anything he wanted to.

Unfortunately, he was right. He'd done things that would have gotten any other student expelled, but the headmaster turned a blind optic.

"What's no-face's problem?" Motormaster asked. He was the largest of the threesome, and his processor was the most disturbing. He was in it for the opportunity to hurt the other students and get away with it. There was something wrong with him—something very wrong with him.

"Guess he _does_ want us to break his faceplate in," Verdict said. "Or maybe he's just all spark-broken about this." He reached down to pick up my cracked data pad. "This was his best friend, you know." _Doesn't have any_ other _friends._

I wished they'd just get it over with and go away.

The third member of Verdict's little gang grinned. "That's okay," he spoke with real enthusiasm, but fake sympathy. "I've got one ya can borrow, Stutter-wave." _Let's make him read something._ "Here." He held out his datapad. "I bet ya were practicing for a poetry recitation next orn."

Verdict nodded. "Yes, that's what you were doing, isn't it?"

I saw where this was going. I wanted to sink into the ground.

"You of all mechs need to practice for something like that," Verdict continued.

"Just le-eave me alo-o-one," I said.

They laughed.

_Pathetic._

_As if…_

They were right.

"Leave you alo-lo-lone?" Verdict mocked. "We're only trying to help you."

"Here, read this out loud." Jazz shoved his datapad in front of me. I tried to push it away and run. They might chase me, but at least I'd have a chance.

Motormaster caught me, and slammed me into the fence I'd been sitting by. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm no-ot re-eadi-ing."

"Yes you are," Verdict said. "Or we'll break you into fifty pieces."

"I'll do the honors," Motormaster said. _Let me break him…_

"What'll it be?" Verdict asked. "The poem or the pieces. You've got to the count of five to decide."

"Can he count that high?" Jazz wondered.

"Po-oem," I said.

"Motormaster, hold him still," Verdict said. "He's got to have good posture."

Motormaster grabbed my arms and pulled them behind me until my sockets groaned. I saw it coming, but couldn't do anything about it—not without making them angry at least.

Jazz held the data pad in front of my screen, and I started reciting.

There was something wrong with me.

I'd been in an accident when I was a very young sparkling. My creators had both been offlined. I couldn't remember them, or the accident, but I sometimes thought I could remember having a faceplate once. And I wasn't sure why I could hear what everyone was thinking either. Or why I couldn't talk right.

Verdict’s gang laughed and made fun of my stutter until they got bored, then left me with a couple of dents and a processor ache. I picked myself up off the ground and retrieved my cracked data pad.

My reflection looked calm, serene.

It always would.

* * *

Ravage was recharging when I got to my room. He was curled up in my desk chair, and I didn't want to wake him, so I went and sat in the corner, putting my arms around my knees. I didn't feel like doing homework just then.

I lived just a twenty breem walk away, so I didn't need to stay at the school, but Crescent didn't want me at home, and she, being my caretaker, always had the last say. So I boarded here with the students who lived too far away to come to school every orn. I didn't mind too much, except in the off-cycle. It was hard to recharge when anyone else was still online nearby because I could hear them thinking.

Other than that, it was actually a better than staying at Crescent's house.

I heard Ravage's systems boot up. He yawned and stretched, then noticed me in the corner and leaped off the chair.

"How wa-a-as your orn?" I asked him as he came over and pressed his helm against my arm.

"Boring," Ravage complained. _Are you okay? Why are you sitting in the corner?_

I vented a sigh, and reached out to stroke the plating behind his audios.

We weren't technically allowed to have symbionts, but the school had made an exception for me. Crescent had insisted. Things wouldn't go well if I left Ravage at home while I was away at school. My caretaker and Ravage didn't get along at all, but she knew I needed him, and there were some things she wouldn't dare take from me.

"What?" Ravage asked.

"I'm okay." I even managed to say it without stuttering.

But Ravage wasn't convinced. "What happened?" he growled.

What had happened? I'd been warned by a teacher that if I cheated on one more test, I'd be expelled. And then Verdict and his friends had caught me alone later the same orn.

I picked up my cracked data pad from where I'd set it down beside me. If I kept getting expelled every term, Crescent would run out of schools to send me to before I was finished with secondary school.

By then, though, I would probably be completely insane, and it wouldn't matter any more.

_I'm going to rip them to pieces._

"Wha-at?" I looked at Ravage.

"It was them wasn't it? They broke that thing. Did they hurt you?" _I wish they'd come in here sometime…_

I shook my helm. "You kno-ow you can't a-attack any-yone, Ravage, we-e'd get in so-o-o much trouble."

They'd take him away, probably have him put down. I could not let that happen. "I'm fi-ine," I said again, hoping he'd believe me this time. Besides, I wasn't as upset about the bullies as I was worried about getting expelled.

I did not want to have to start over again.

This was one of the best schools in Kalis. It was small too, with just over six hundred students.

Qualifying for the school had been easy enough. The entrance examinations were given individually and even if I hadn't done well on them, credit could just as easily get you in. Crescent was willing to pay a lot for the chance to send me away.

But what if she did send me to a public school after this? A school with thousands of other students crowded together, and stricter rules about having symbionts…

It was going to happen eventually. I couldn’t stop it.

Ravage climbed up on my shoulders and I braced myself against his weight as he curled his tail around my neck. _You aren't all right, are you?_

I wasn't.

But it was nice that at least someone cared.

* * *

"Good orn, class."

Most of the students responded with a "Good orn, Bluefable."

She smiled at us, but she had an unpleasant surprise. I already knew what it was, of course, but I felt dread sink deep into my spark again as she announced it.

"Today, we're not going to have a normal lecture. Instead, we have an assessment."

_What?_

_We just had one last decaorn!_

"Think of it as a pop quiz only a little longer. The same rules go as for our regular assessments. If you finish early you can leave."

One of the students, a little yellow femme, raised her hand. "What does the assessment cover?"

"It's an overview of the whole term so far,"

_Oh, no… what did we cover in the beginning of the term?_

_Why does she have to do this? I think she does things like this to torture us on purpose._

_Scrap, I only got admitted three decaorns ago… I'm so doomed._

"However," Bluefable said. "Since I didn't announce this assessment, or give you time to study, I'm going to count it more like extra credit than a real test. If you do well on it, I'll replace your lowest test score with this one."

Everyone else was relieved. Bluefable looked at me. _I'm giving him a chance. I hope he realizes that. This is his chance. I even made it almost impossible for him to cheat. And I let everyone else know about this. We're having that meeting after classes are over for the orn…_

She pulled out a stack of thin datapads and walked through the room, handing them out. "No one start the test, please, until everyone has one." She dropped one on my desk. _But he will cheat. He always does…_

She finished and went to the front of the room again. "All right, everyone. Make sure to enter your designation before you begin. You can start."

I tapped the data pad to activate it, and typed in my designation.

Sometimes, I tried to get ahead, or skipped the early questions so I could go back and answer them when no one else was thinking about them. Things were never that hard during the beginning of the test when everyone was on the same question, but it was easier not to cheat if I started at the end.

Not this time.

A cacophony of focused chatter washed over me. It wasn't as loud during a lecture when only half of the students were paying attention. But the more focused someone was, the better I could hear, and the harder it was to ignore.

Everyone was focused during an assessment. Normally, they were focused on the same question, at least at the beginning, so I only had to ignore one very loud fact at a time.

_The modern Council system was brought about by…_

_The second Quintesson war ended after…_

_The five founders of the city-state of…_

Not this time.

_I've stumped you, haven't I? You haven't even started. You're stuck._

I looked up at Bluefable.

She met my gaze, feeling an odd mixture of triumph and disappointment.

_You really don't know how to do anything without cheating._

_The Dynasty of Primes was supposedly…_

_Brought about by…_

_Five hundred died in the battle of…_

Everyone's questions were in a different order. Everyone was doing a different question. This was like the middle of the test, but worse, and it wouldn't get better. Normally I tried to finish early or late so I didn't have to deal with the cacophony in the middle.

But that wasn't going to work this time.

I looked down at the first questions again. I had to read it three times before my processor managed to piece it together.

_Was built around the…_

_In the vorn of 7897…_

I typed 7897, then erased it. That was wrong—the question didn't even ask for a date. I put in the right answer.

Other students were on their second or third question. They were going to think I was completely stupid. Everyone already thought there was something wrong with me, but it was just going to get worse.

I skimmed the test. It wasn't that long, but it was long enough. I couldn't wait until the others had left before starting it. I wouldn't have enough time. When the class period ended, Bluefable would collect the tests whether or not we were finished with them.

I went back to the top.

_The three reasons…_

_The reforms of…_

My processor was starting to hurt.

_I know this one… what is it? What's the answer…_

_The technological revolution gave rise to…_

I felt dizzy.

Pressure mounted in my helm.

_The Dynasty of the Primes was supposedly organized by the first thirteen…_

* * *

"Well, Soundwave, time's up."

I hastily typed in another answer—a wrong answer. There were still ten questions I hadn't gotten to.

Bluefable came over and took the data pad from my desk. "I said time's up. You can go now."

I put my hands on the desk in front of me to steady myself. Echoes of answers to test questions were still running through my processor in little bits and pieces.

"Soundwave? I said you can leave."

I jerked my helm up in a half-nod, and was rewarded with a spike of pain like a knife through my processor.

Leave? I could leave?

Good.

It was quiet here though, now that everyone else was gone. And empty. I didn't want to go out into the hallways.

_He knows he's doomed, doesn't he? He knows he'll be expelled. I wonder if it even bothers him…_

Well, mostly quiet.

_Well, I suppose he might as well sit there. I don’t have a class next joor, so no one else will be in here, and at this point skipping his next class won’t make things any worse for him._

"Or I suppose you could stay."

At least if I was expelled, it would be a while before I had to deal with this sort of thing again.

She walked to the doorway and stopped. "Unless you have anything to say before I go."

Anything to say?

_Of course he doesn't._

I tried to piece something together. It seemed I had had something to say, recently. What had it been?

She left.

Could I retake the test later? By myself? Could I prove I didn't need to cheat?

Too late.

I put my helm down on the desk and waited for the processor ache to go away. This one was bad enough it would probably take five or six joors. I had another class I was supposed to go to after this one. But at this point, I didn't care.

* * *

"Soundwave!" _Here he is, right where I left him._

I sat up, suddenly online. I couldn't even remember slipping into recharge.

"You're still here." _I would have tried to find somewhere to hide if I was him._

She was mad. It must have been obvious on the test that I hadn't been doing my own work the whole time.

My processor ache was as bad as ever but at least I didn't feel quite as scrambled. I could think again.

"You need to come with me," Bluefable said.

"I fa-a-a-ailed, didn't-i-idn't I-I-I-I?"

_Oh, my…_

"Are you all right?"

No.

She waited. _Is he going to answer? He should probably have Ochre to look at that voice box, honestly._ "You did fail. Rather miserably. And the headmaster would like to discuss with you exactly how you managed to cheat on the test. A group of your other teachers are gathered as well. We're going to have a meeting about it, and we thought we'd invite you." _Because there's only one way this can end._

I wanted to tell her I didn't cheat, but I didn't dare try to speak again. My voice box was glitching almost to the point where I couldn't talk at all.

Besides, it probably would have been a lie. Probably. I wasn't even sure…

"Come on." _How does he hold so still? It really is like he’s some kind of drone._

I got to my pedes.

_He’s so lethargic… I wonder if he needs to see a medic._

"I-I'm fi-ine."

_He doesn't sound fine. I really should ask Ochre to look at him again._

Oops. She hadn't said that out loud.

 _Then again, he could be faking it. And he's probably just nervous because he knows he's going to get expelled. Let's just go to the meeting and get this over with._ "Come on."

I followed her out of the room.

We went to a large conference room. There were a lot of teachers there, and not just ones I had classes from.

This was serious. I could just imagine how angry Crescent would be. I hadn't even made it one full term at this school.

"Sit down," the headmaster said. He was an older silver and blue mech designated Graycharter

I approached the table and sat at the end of it, trying not to imagine how this meeting would go.

To everyone else the room was silent.

_Does he know how serious this is?_

_What are we going to do with him?_

_How did he do it? We made it practically impossible—how did he do it?_

If I told them the truth—that I could hear them thinking, they would do worse than expel me.

"Before we begin," Graycharter said. "I wanted to give you an opportunity to say something."

He did? How considerate.

_He's just going to sit there, of course._

"Do you have anything to say?"

Not out loud.

"Very well then. We gave you a chance. No, we gave you _many_ chances, and this was the last one."

_If he's smart enough to get past all our precautions, all our blocks, everything. Why would he need to cheat?_

Cablereach, the computers teacher, was looking at me with a thoughtful expression that contrasted the anger and confusion coming from everyone else.

"Tell us what you did," the headmaster continued. "Tell us how you cheated."

It hadn't really been a test for the whole class, it had been specifically for me. A last chance to prove myself. They had wanted to test me, watch me, figure out what I was doing.

"Tell us what you did or you will be out of this academy before the orn is up."

"If I might, Graycharter," Cablereach said. "I think the why is more important than the how."

"It was an unannounced test," Bluefable said. "He couldn't have known beforehand."

I had known. I had been picking up hints about it for the last three orns. But I hadn't expected it to be that bad, and even if I had, what could I do about it?

"How did you do it?" another teacher asked.

They stopped talking, but they were still thinking. Their minds accused and demanded and questioned.

"I…" I was already tired, so even this smaller group of mecha was getting overwhelming. They were all so focused on me, I could barely think for myself.

Cablereach was still calm. I tried to ignore everyone else.

_How could he have done it?_

_Why hasn't he said anything?_

_Maybe I should have taken him to Ochre after all…_

_He couldn't have hacked the other data pads. Maybe the security monitor…_

"The se-e-ecurity-y mo-oni-itors."

They all stared at me.

"I go-ot i-into the securi-ity mo-o-o… mo-onito-o-or-rs."

It got worse the longer I talked. At this point, even short sentences were almost too much.

_Ha. Good guess. I think…_

_Oh!_

_That makes sense. No wonder._

_…But it doesn't explain… why would he…_

"I see," the headmaster said. "We didn't think about that."

Neither had I. Thank you Cablereach.

"Hold on," Cablereach said.

Never mind.

"How did you accomplish this?"

They all looked at me again. For once I was glad they couldn't see my expression. I scrambled to come up with a way to hack the security cameras.

"It to-oo-ok o-orns."

"We need to know." Cablereach said, "So we can prevent it from happening again. Where did you do it from?"

_He said monitors. There's only one monitor in that room. Has he hacked more of them?_

"Li-ibra-ary."

The library computer consoles would probably be the best place to hack the school's systems from.

Cablereach pulled out his own personal data pad. It was more like a full computer than simple data storage like most of them were. He keyed it unlocked and started doing something on it.

"Cablereach, now is not the time," the headmaster said. "We have to make a decision. Soundwave, you have mocked this school with your general disregard for the rules. You know what you’ve done—we have been perfectly clear about it. Do you have anything at all to say for yourself?"

I looked down.

“I doubt giving him a chance to speak will help anything." Bluefable said. “The answer to this problem is obvious.”

"I still think we should be trying to find out _why_ he cheats," Cablereach put in, still tapping on his data pad. A few ways you could hack into the security monitors ran through his processor, but I wasn't sure I knew enough to make them work.

"It is true," another teacher said. "If he's capable of hacking the systems, he ought to be capable of learning history."

"And he's not cheating very effectively either."

_Is he doing this to spite us?_

It was like I wasn't in the room any more.

"Soundwave," Cablereach said with a sudden thought. "Is the course material too easy for you?"

Too easy? "No-o," I said.

They stared at me as if expecting more.

All right then.

"But I-I-I get ne-e-ervous i-in a roo-oom fu-ull o-o-of…" I trailed off. They got the point.

_Oh._

_That doesn't quite make sense…_

_That's no excuse._

"That's no excuse," Graycharter said.

"I'm so-o-orry,"

"Ochre should take a look at your voice box."

I took a deep vent. If she could do something about it, she already would have. Why didn't anyone ever think about that?

"Sorry is not enough this time."

Should I even bother to try? "I wo-o-on't do it aga-a-a… aga-a-a-ain."

Scrap, I really needed to calm down.

They watched me.

Why did everyone always have to look at me all the time? Did they think that maybe if they stared enough they'd be able to see right through my screen? Did they think I didn't care? That it didn't make me uncomfortable to have thirty optics reflecting off the black surface of what should have been my faceplate? Did they think I couldn't see them?

I could see them.

I could see past their faceplates, past their optics, right into their processors, right into their sparks, right into every dark part of themselves they wanted to hide.

I saw them whether or not I wanted to.

And no one.

No one, whether or not they tried.

Ever.

Saw.

Me.

"Do you have anything else to say?"

Not to them.

Not out loud.

Did I ever?

"I thought not. Will you please wait outside while we discuss this?"

My chair scraped on the floor as I stood. The door slid open for me, then closed behind.

They started arguing once I was outside and 'out of hearing.'

But I could hear every word and every thought. I wanted to leave. I wanted to go hide in my room.

But that wouldn’t change anything.

_…Freak…_

_…Expel him…_

_…doesn't deserve another chance…_

_…disobedient…_

_…cheater…_

_…something wrong with him…_

_…always been different from the other students…_

_…don't know what to do with him…_

_…Crescent, his caretaker…_

I sat down, wrapping my arms around my knees and bowing my helm, tempted to forcibly shut myself down so I could stop hearing.

By the time they called me back in I already knew what their decision was. It surprised me.

"Soundwave," the headmaster said. "We've decided to give you one more chance. One."

Because of Crescent. Because she was rich and well-connected. If they knew how little she actually cared, they probably would have expelled me decaorns ago.

I nodded.

"If something like this ever happens again, you will be expelled."

I nodded. It would happen eventually. Eventually even Crescent's influence wouldn't be enough, and they'd kick me out. I had thought it would be this time.

"We are being more generous and forgiving than you or anyone deserves."

From their perspective, yes, that was true.

"I need to hear you promise you won't do anything like this again."

I would rather not.

"And I want to hear your profound gratitude for our generosity."

I gathered myself.

_Ungrateful little glitch. Thinks he can get away with anything._

"Thank yo-ou. I wo-on't do-o-o it aga-ain."

They stared expectantly.

I had nothing more to say.

_Arrogant…_

_…is he mocking us?_

I couldn't talk. How long would it take them to realize how much every broken word that came out of my voice box cost me?

"Very well," the headmaster said. "Cablereach, I believe you wanted to talk to him further about the security cameras."

"Yes," Cablereach said. "Soundwave, let’s go to my office."

I followed him out the door and into the hallway, relieved when the other teachers were finally out of my range.

Except Cablereach, of course.

_This is such a disappointment. I thought this fledgling was going to do so well. He was not like this when he first came here, was he? I looked at those scores on his entrance exams, and they were amazing._

When I'd first come I hadn't been as bad. But my range was expanding. I could hear them better. They were all getting louder—steadily and progressively louder.

_Oh well. I hope he can get it together before it's too late. Not everyone gets the opportunities he's had. Doesn't he know how lucky he is?_

Lucky?

We made it to his office and he handed me the data pad. "I've put this on a setting so that you'd have access to the same things you would from a library computer console. Could you hack the security cameras with this?"

I looked down at it. Right. I needed to suddenly be a brilliant hacker.

I shook my helm.

"No?"

Wasn't that what I'd just said?

 _He's going to refuse to show me how he did it. Or maybe he was lying back there? Doesn't he know the consequences of that? And is it just me, or is his stutter getting worse?_ "Your stutter's getting pretty bad. Are you all right?" _I'm missing something here…_

If they found out the truth, they'd do worse than expel me.

"I'm ti-i-i-i-ired." I didn't even try to stop the stutter. "Ca-a-an-an I-I…"

_I can't tell if he's really tired, or just trying to get out of this… I wonder if he's all right. I wish he'd tell us what was really going on._

"All right," Cablereach said. "But you _will_ show me how you hacked the security cameras. Next orn, all right?"

I nodded. Then I left. I needed to be alone.

Unfortunately, that was impossible.


	2. Help

"Ow!"

"Sorry!" Ravage jumped off my back and looked up at me. "Just playing." He'd 'ambushed' me as soon as I'd walked in the door of my room. _You knew I was going to jump on you—why are you mad?_

"I'm no-ot in the-e-e moo-oo-ood."

I had to pull it together. I was alone now, so why wasn't my voice box behaving?

Scrap. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this for one more orn.

I sat down in my chair and put my helm down on the desk.

"Soundwave?" Ravage jumped up onto the desk as well and pressed his helm against my arm. _What happened this time?_

I sighed and looked up, but didn’t say anything. Ravage climbed onto my shoulders; his weight there was familiar—comforting.

"What happened?" he demanded out loud.

"I-I think they-y're going to-o expe-ell me soo-oon."

"Oh." _Stupid teachers._

I could feel myself slipping into recharge already. That test had been awful. It wasn't even late and I could barely stay online. My processor still felt terrible—like it was ripping itself apart.

"Soundwave?" _Is he all right? Are you all right? What happened?_

"I'm o-okay," I said, hoping he wouldn't press the issue. I didn’t have the energy to argue with him.

_Help!_

I jerked upright, nearly knocking Ravage off of my shoulders.

_Help, please, Help!_

I didn't recognize the voice but it was somewhere close.

_Teach you to say things like that to me._

That one, I did know: Verdict.

_Help!_

_Come back here._

And that was Motormaster.

_Ow! Stop! Stop!_

I wished I could shut it out. It was bad enough that I got bullied. I didn't want to have to deal with it happening to anyone else.

The student they were picking on was very small, but the processor sounded more like a mech than a femme. The flashes of images and feelings I was picking up were of a large, terrifying Verdict and an even bigger, scarier Motormaster. And from the other two, I got the gleeful pleasure of slamming the smaller fledgling into the wall—the satisfaction causing pain and wielding power.

I wished emotions didn't come through.

It was enough to make anyone sick.

All right.

I motioned for Ravage to climb off of my shoulders.

_What?_ Ravage wondered.

I shook my helm. I didn't want to go to the trouble of explaining it. Besides, he'd probably try to talk me out of it or at least want to come along.

_Stop! I'm sorry, stop, just stop!_

I walked out into the hall and focused on their thoughts. I recognized that hallway. They were just around the corner.

This probably wouldn't last long. They would get bored pretty quick. I _could_ just go back into my room and wait it out if I wanted.

But I didn't.

Jazz had a way to keep track of where the teachers were by tracking a sort of signal from them. The signals were part of the school system—unique codes each teacher used to access their classrooms and clock in joors of work. Jazz had hacked into the system and copied those signals to devices that warned his friends when a teacher was nearby. It helped keep the three of them out of trouble and no one knew about it. It was clever, almost foolproof.

I'd figured out a way to take advantage of it, though.

I started manifesting Graycharter’s signal. It showed up on the devices they used, warning them.

_Pit…_

_We'd better leave._

If I did it too often, they'd realize something wasn't right. I had to be careful. But once in a while was fine.

As soon as they were gone I went around the corner to find the little mech curled up and shaking on the ground. He looked somewhat dented and scraped up, but was more frightened than hurt. He was also really tiny for a fledgling. I wondered if he was just a really smart youngling who had gotten into the school early.

He saw me, and his optics widened.

_No, not another one…_

I held out a hand to him.

_Help! Don't hurt me, don't hurt me, please._

Really? I was just trying to help him get up. Was I _really_ that frightening?

He shuddered and looked away from me.

Apparently I was.

I considered talking to him, but with my voice box the way it was I was likely to scare him even more. Instead, I turned and walked away.

His relief was almost tangible.

Nobody ever wanted my help.

At least it would be quiet now. I could finally recharge.

* * *

Bluefable watched me the whole class period, thinking about me. She was of the opinion they shouldn't have given me another chance, and kept wondering how to convince the headmaster she was right.

I had bigger problems, though. I'd been thinking all orn about how I was going to hack into the security cameras. I had to do it this orn, and I had to show Cablereach I could do it so I could back up my lie and keep my abilities a secret.

"Soundwave."

I looked up. Great, now I'd have to talk.

"Would you please give the answer?"

I waited for the correct answer to run through the processors of some of my classmates. When I recited it, I stuttered a few times, but it wasn't that bad.

_So he_ was _paying attention,_ Bluefable thought.

Nope. Not really.

"Thank you, Soundwave."

Jazz, who was in the class and sat several rows behind me, had a wonderful idea. I looked down as he raised his hand.

"Bluefable," he said. "Could you have him repeat that? I couldn't hear."

"Couldn't hear?" Bluefable asked.

"I couldn't _understand_." Jazz corrected.

Several students just barely caught themselves before they laughed. A few didn't manage to catch themselves.

Some pitied me.

Bluefable sighed. "Would you please repeat that, Soundwave?"

Seriously?

It came out worse the second time. Of course it did.

Bluefable looked at me. _I went and talked to Ochre and she says there's nothing wrong with him. She says it's psychological. He's not doing it on purpose, is he?_

She really thought I'd make a fool of myself in front of everyone? On purpose?

"I still didn't catch that, quite," Jazz said.

"Then you can look it up in the textbook," Bluefable snapped.

* * *

History was my second to last class of the orn. Normally, I'd go straight from there to my last class, but it had been moved back a joor because the teacher had some sort of appointment and was going to be late. So in the spare time I had between classes, I went to the library and got on one of the computer consoles. It was meant only for doing research, but it was part of the school's main computer system, so it was technically linked to everything.

So how could I get to the monitors?

I looked up at the nearest camera, positioned on the wall. I picked a lot of things up from various teachers and administrators about how the computer system worked, but even so, I didn't know if I had enough information to do this.

I looked at the console again. I liked computers. They didn't stare, didn't judge, didn't pity, didn't think. They left me alone.

I had two options for the security cameras. I could hack the main files in the school's database, and get all of them, or I could intercept what an individual camera was sending.

The latter seemed more practical. Especially for my supposed reason.

I started working, trying to figure out how and where the camera was sending its information.

Then I stopped as Cablereach came into my range. My first instinct was to panic and try to shut down the computer, but I held back. There was no point.

"Soundwave."

I looked down.

"What are you doing?" _I told him he had to show me, not do it in his spare time._

How had he known I was here?

"Pra-acticing?" I said.

"You need to practice?"

I shrugged.

"If you're doing it now, you won't mind if I watch?"

I shook my helm. I did mind, because I didn't even know if this would work, but I obviously couldn't tell him that.

"In fact," he said. "It might be better if you started over so I could see the whole process."

I shut down the console and listened hard. It seemed unlikely he'd just come walking by.

He watched over my shoulder as I started the console up again. As I listened, I pieced things together.

He'd been hacking the monitors himself just to see if he could do it, and had watched me leave my class and come to the library.

That was… kind of creepy.

He didn't speak out loud as I worked. But he was distracting all the same.

_I would never have thought to do it this way. This is fascinating… He's just getting one camera feed._

I ran into a snag here and there, but with Cablereach right there thinking about it too, I was able to borrow some of his ideas and get past all of the blocks.

It took a while, but eventually I had the camera feed from the nearest monitor up on the console screen.

Cablereach was impressed, but also worried.

"That was clever," he said.

It had been… almost fun. "I can ha-a-ack the co-ontrols too."

"I believe you." _I'm not sure I know how to prevent what he just did._ "However, while you won't get in trouble for doing it this time—I asked you to do it—we will be paying attention during tests. If need be, we'll turn off the cameras during them. Soundwave…" _He pulled that off surprisingly well. Admittedly, he's done it before… it must have been a while ago. He seemed to have to do a little troubleshooting there in the middle. All in all, he's very good at that. It could be dangerous_ "… Soundwave, just because you can do something like this doesn't mean you should." _We'll have to watch him closely._

I nodded. I understood that.

_He probably thinks of us as enemies. We've certainly been acting the part._ "I'm glad you do. And Soundwave?"

I looked at him.

"If you ever need to talk to someone… check my office hours. I'm always willing to listen."

If I needed to talk to someone? Really?

He left, but he was still watching me so I pulled out of the security camera and shut down the computer.

Then I checked my internal timepiece and realized I was late for class. I'd been so absorbed by the task at hand that I had completely forgotten about the time.

I rushed out of the library and down the hall. I couldn't skip class, especially not after that meeting yesterday. They had been so close to expelling me and now the very next orn, I was late for class. I was so doomed.

I also wasn't paying attention. I went around the corner before even realizing that Verdict and his friends were in that hallway, leaning against the walls and talking about some sports team.

I tried to stop but they were too close, and I tripped over Verdict's outstretched pede and went sprawling almost before he realized I was there.

"Hmm," he said, surprise morphing into amusement. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

I got to my pedes and tried to walk away, but Motormaster stepped in front of me. "Verdict asked you a question, freak."

I needed them to let me go quickly. "Class."

_Must be late or something._ Jazz checked his timepiece. _Yep, the joor started five breems ago._

"Well you're going to have to miss it," Verdict said. "There are more important things to do."

"I ha-ave to go-o-o to class."

"He's gonna fail if ya don't let him go, Verdict," Jazz said. "Oh wait, he's gonna fail anyway."

Maybe not fail. More like get expelled. "Let me-e-e go."

Verdict laughed and shook his helm. "You think we should, Jazz?"

_Hmm… don't think so._ "Well I don't really know that he's ready for school in the first place," Jazz said. "Before ya go to school, ya ought ta learn to talk, don't ya think?"

I didn't have time for this. I tried to duck past Motormaster, but he grabbed me and slammed me into the wall.

"Stutter-wave," Jazz said. "Can ya repeat after me? Say 'I'm a fragging glitch and too stupid ta go ta this school.'"

Motormaster slammed me into the wall again.

"Come on," Jazz said. "That's not even a long sentence. Say it."

I looked away.

"Say it," Verdict said. "Or we can't let you go."

Fine. Fine. Jazz was one to talk, with his stupid accent. "I-I-I'm a-a…"

They laughed.

"Oh, come on," Jazz said. "Surely ya can do be-e-eter than that."

"You can go to class once you've said it right," Verdict said.

Fantastic.

_That's gonna take a while. He can’t even get one word out._ Jazz thought.

"Motormaster," Verdict said.

Motormaster made a fist and slammed it into my shoulder. The blow reverberated through me, accompanied by sudden, sharp pain.

"Say it. Come on, aren’t you in a hurry?" Verdict asked.

_Think I'm gonna record it, though, cuz it’s gonna be pretty funny._

Scrap.

"Motormaster," Verdict said again, a smile twisting the corner of his mouth.

"I'm a-a fra-a-agging…" I tried again. "I-I-I-I-I…"

_What the Pit are they doing? That's not okay…_

"Come on," Jazz laughed. "Ya haven't even _said_ it all the way through yet."

"You mechs mind?" A brown and white fledgling who looked about my age stood just behind Verdict. I'd heard his approach, but I'd hoped he'd go find a teacher since he seemed to disapprove of what they were doing.

_Excuse me?_ Verdict turned to face him. He was bigger than the brown and white, but the newcomer wasn't afraid.

The new mech looked vaguely familiar. I was pretty sure he was in at least one of my classes.

"Excuse me?" Verdict said out loud.

"I'm pretty sure that's not allowed," the newcomer pointed to me. _Let him go…_

"You new here?" Verdict asked.

The other mech shrugged. "Relatively." _About three decaorns…_

"Well right now, little youngling, this hallway is mine," Verdict told him. "So just go somewhere else and leave me to my own business."

"You can't own a hallway."

They stared at him. It was almost comical. Nobody stood up to Verdict.

"I'll give you one more chance," Verdict said. "Because you're new. Get out of this hallway or we'll pound you into a heap of scrap."

The newcomer considered his options, trying to gauge how serious Verdict was about that. Pretty serious, he decided.

I saw what he was about to do just before he did it.

He was completely insane.

With a defiant shout, he launched himself at Motormaster. Motormaster was so surprised he dropped me.

"Go!" the brown and white mech said.

I didn't hesitate. I ran.

Jazz almost decided to chase after me, but changed his mind.

I skidded around the corner and stated walking to class. Crazy idiot. He'd figure it out pretty soon, though. They were still pounding on him when I got out of range of them.

I hoped they didn't hurt him too badly.

He _had_ tried to help me after all.

I stopped.

I needed to get to class. But I couldn't just leave him there…

Fine, fine. I started heading back, mentally cursing my conscience and hoping this mech was _really_ grateful for the sacrifice I was making to save his aft. I turned on Cablereach's signal.

By the time I got back in range, they had noticed the signal. They didn't want to leave my rescuer lying in the hallway so they shoved him in the nearest closet and locked the door. I winced as pain flared in the brown and white mech's arm. Dislocated shoulder, probably.

I chased the bullies out of the hallway, then waited for them to get out of range before turning off the signal. Then I went to the closet and hacked the lock on the door so it opened.

He was sitting on the floor, one hand pressed against the opposite shoulder, grimacing as he held it in place. He looked up. _You again… I thought I told him to get out of here. If they come back, we're scrap._ "Hi," he said.

I reached down to help him to his pedes, and he took his hand off his shoulder to reach back for mine, so I could pull him up.

"You all right?" he asked.

Was _I_ all right?

_He_ was the one with a dislocated shoulder, but he didn't even seem remotely traumatized.

He put his hand back to his shoulder again, wincing. "Thanks for coming back to let me out. I'm Searchlight, by the way."

I nodded. He looked at me expectantly. _Is he going to tell me his designation?_

"So-oundwave," I said. Fragging stutter.

He noticed, but chose to ignore it. He recognized me from history class. "Thought I was going to be in little pieces by now." He muttered. "I wonder why they left so fast."

I shrugged. "Tha-anks."

"No problem. Had to do _something._ Well, nice meeting you, Soundwave." _Fragging bullies… ow… Ochre's not going to be happy._

He was new here and he already knew the medic's designation? Well… maybe I wasn't all that surprised.

_Awkward silence…_ he shot me a sheepish smile. "I'd stay and talk, but I should probably go get yelled at by the school medic."

I nodded.

He turned and walked away. I followed at a distance to make sure he made it all the way to Ochre's office, then rushed to class. The lesson was already almost half over by the time I got there.

Afterward, I went up to the teacher. He was not happy.

"I'm so-o-orry," I told him. "Ca-ablereach wanted to-o talk to me-e."

_Really? I guess I'll have to check on that. I thought he was just late…_

If they discussed the timing they'd realize there was something not quite right about my excuse. But hopefully it wouldn't come to that.


	3. Projects

I tried to keep my helm down for the next few orns, hoping things would calm down and mecha would go back to ignoring me. I’d had too many run-ins with the bullies lately, and they were watching for me in the hallways. The teachers were watching me too, waiting for me to slip up, carefully going over all of my assignments to make sure I wasn't cheating. The new student, who'd stood up to Verdict and his friends for me was _also_ watching me. He was in my history class, and I could sometimes hear him wondering whether I had any friends, and whether he ought to do something about that. I wished he'd just forget about the whole thing. I didn't want to be anyone’s project. It never worked, and I had too much else to worry about right now. If they thought I was cheating again, I’d be expelled. No more chances.

And then I’d be back to square one and as much as I hated this school, I didn’t want to start over again.

"Good orn everyone," Bluefable greeted the class. It was the first orn of the decaorn and nobody wanted to be there, especially me. I knew what was coming. "Now that we’ve covered a good portion of early mid-Cybertronian history, it’s time to put our knowledge to use."

She let that hang in the atmosphere while quiet dread filled the room.

_A project?_

_I don't_ want _to put my knowledge of the stupid history of Cybertron to use…_

_This is going to be another pop quiz, isn't it?_

"Over the next few decaorns we're going to be working on research projects. I want you to pick a topic we've gone over so far this term. You will write an essay and prepare an oral presentation on your subject…"

She talked through some of the details, then asked us to get into groups of two or three.

She’d probably have to assign someone to work with me. That was how these things usually went.

Hooray for group projects.

Students were up and moving, and the audible chatter deepened and complicated the scrambled nonsense running through my processor.

"Hey, Stutter-wave," Jazz came up behind me "Wanna be in my group?" _It'll be great. I'll write the essay, and you can stand up and give the oral report._

No thanks.

"I guess I'll have to assume your silence means 'yes'"

I shook my helm.

"Who else is gonna team up with _you_?" Jazz asked.

"Hey, Soundwave." Searchlight came up on my other side.

"Back off," Jazz said. "He's already in a group."

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "Mine."

"Is he now?" Jazz asked. "What group are you in again, Stutter?"

"Nobody thinks you're funny, Jazz," Searchlight said quietly.

Jazz frowned. _Watch yourself._ "Did I ask your opinion?" He looked at me again. "Looks like ya got lucky, Stutter-wave. Ya’ve got someone ta take pity on ya."

He walked away.

 _Lousy piece of scrap,_ Searchlight thought. "So…" he looked at me again. "Do you want to work together on the project?"

I was very tempted to turn him down. But if I said yes, Bluefable wouldn't have to assign anyone to work with me.

"It's okay if you don't," Searchlight said. “Really.” _I just wanted to get Jazz off of him. Not sure what that mech's problem is._

"Su-ure," I said.

 _Sure we can do the project, or sure he wants me to leave him alone?_ "Sure…"

Nobody else was likely to volunteer to work with me. "We-e can work to-o-ogether."

"Great," Searchlight said.

"When you have your groups, please come up and I'll download further instructions onto your datapads." Bluefable didn't seem to have noticed the small-scale confrontation between Jazz and Searchlight. Either that or she didn't care enough to spend time thinking about it.

Some of the teachers knew about Verdict and his friends, but they didn't do anything. Not that there was much they _could_ do. Verdict’s creators were wealthy lawyers who’d made significant donations to the school, so he was essentially unpunishable. Graycharter would just ignore any complaints made about him.

Searchlight and I joined the line that was forming in front of Bluefable's desk.

"After class," he said. "Want to meet somewhere and work out a topic?"

I nodded. Then realized I had an extra class after this one, while he didn't. That could be a problem. It shouldn't, because I could just explain it to him, but I didn't feel much like talking at the moment.

We got through the line and went back to our seats. Bluefable lectured for the rest of the joor.

* * *

Searchlight caught up to me on the way out of class.

"So…" he said.

"I-I have a-another class," I told him.

"Oh," he said. "Really?"

I nodded.

 _I can wait._ "Okay, then… want to meet me afterward… outside in the yard behind the school? From there, we can go to the library, or whatever." _I don't want to sit around for a whole joor in the library._

I nodded.

_Or we could just wait and come up with a topic some other orn. Ugh, projects. No… I have to be on top of this. They barely let me in, I have to prove I can get good grades and stay out of trouble._

I silently wished him good luck with that last part. We came to the end of the hallway and went different directions.

After my final class, I went to find Searchlight. He was waiting for me by the back doors of the school. He didn't notice me until I was right behind him, and then he jumped so hard his pedes almost left the ground. "Whoa," he said. "Soundwave." _He's really quiet. Kind of creepy too. Like something from a horror holovid._

"So-o-orry,"

"Nah, you just startled me." _Isn't like he did it on purpose… he didn't do it on purpose, right?_ Silence stretched between us while he waited for me to say something.

He was going to have to get used to that.

Again, I questioned my decision to partner with him, but I needed this project. If we did a good job, it could bring my grade up.

"So," Searchlight said at length. _This is kind of awkward. He really doesn't talk at all… probably because of the stutter. That makes sense. Okay. Project. Focus._ "You want to go work in the library? Or we could go to my room. I mean we're just coming up with a topic, right?"

_Look, there's that stuck-up little glitch from the other orn…_

"Hey, you!" Verdict came over to us. I backed away a step, but Searchlight didn't flinch as he turned to face the larger fledgling.

“Yeah?” he said.

Verdict grabbed him by the neck and shoved him back into the wall. "Still think you're king of the hallways?"

Searchlight stared at him, surprised. _What is this mech's problem?_

Verdict let him go. "You're lucky. I'm not in the mood to pay you back right now for your disrespect the other orn. But I'm not finished with you." He turned and walked away.

"Good," Searchlight said quietly, pushing away from the wall.

"What!" Verdict rounded on him.

 _I'm not done with you either._ Searchlight turned and walked toward the door into the building.

Verdict turned his attention to me and frowned. _What are they doing talking to each other? Stutter-wave and the new loser, plotting against me? I’ll have to put a stop to that._

Thanks a lot, Searchlight. Now I was doomed.

"Come on Soundwave," Searchlight said.

Oh, wonderful. Just wonderful.

 _Come on, Soundwave,_ Searchlight frowned at me. _Why is he just standing there…?_

Verdict narrowed his optics. Searchlight was a target now. If I went with him, I'd be a target too, even more so than I already was. Bad idea.

_Don't just leave me hanging here, mech…_

If I walked the other way, what would happen? The bullies would still torment me. I'd still probably be expelled. I'd still have nobody but Ravage to talk to.

Friends never worked out for me. I didn't like talking and I could hear their thoughts, which made things… difficult in complicated ways.

I looked down, angry at myself for even associating myself with this idiot, for even _considering_ going with him. I needed to stay out of this if I wanted to survive the next few decaorns.

Searchlight was about to turn and go inside by himself anyway. It would make doing the history project awkward, but it was already going to be awkward.

"Don't think you'll be here long," Verdict said to Searchlight. "Nobody wants you here. Even no-face doesn't want to be friends with you, and he hasn't _got_ any friends."

Searchlight glanced at me, then looked back at Verdict. _That was really insensitive. I can’t believe this glitch…_ And he was about to say something too. Probably something that would get him in even more trouble.

So I made my decision and walked toward Searchlight. Both of them were surprised but Searchlight, thankfully, led the way into the building without saying anything else to Verdict.

"Sorry about that," Searchlight said. _They'll probably come after both of us now, won't they? Oops._

No kidding.

"By the way," Searchlight said. "Thanks again. For the whole thing a few orns ago with the closet."

He probably could have gotten out on his own. I should have just left him there. Then I wouldn’t be in this mess.

"I heard… I heard them say something about a teacher before they shoved me in there. A teacher coming, or something. When I heard you outside the door, I thought you _were_ a teacher." _I wonder how he knew it was safe to come back…_

I didn't pull that trick very often, but even so I'd have to start being more careful. If too many mecha saw me show up after the bullies left, someone might figure it out.

 _You know,_ Searchlight thought. _I should probably stop expecting him to talk—he’s obviously not going to. I mean, if I got bullied as much as this mech probably has, I wouldn’t be very friendly either. Also, that Verdict mech has really got problems..._

"You know," he said. "We have _got_ to do something about those bullies."

Really? Like what?

"How do they get away with it? Won't the teachers do something? I mean, I've started hearing things about them… stuff they ought to be expelled for."

Was I supposed to answer that? He'd just thought about how he shouldn't expect me to talk. Why was he still asking me questions?

"Let's just go to my room," he said.

He led the way. He must live far enough away that he had to stay at the school. Only a little more than half of the students who went here were actually from this sector of Kalis. We walked in silence right up to his door.

Searchlight stopped with his hand outstretched to type in the passcode for the door. _Better let him know…_ "Just going to warn you. My roommate's… a little…" _Jumpy? No… unusual? Tactless, ridiculous, completely fragging crazy…_ "Prone to freaking out. You'll see."

The door opened and I followed Searchlight in. To my surprise, I recognized Searchlight’s roommate. He was the little youngling I'd chased the bullies away from the orn I'd almost been expelled.

"Searchlight," he said, setting his data pad down on his desk as he turned to look at us. "Who…" He froze, staring at me for a few moments. Then he dove out of his chair. "Scrap!"

He crawled under the nearest berth. "Searchlight, get it out of here!"

Searchlight arched an optic ridge.

Well, he _had_ warned me. "I'll le-eave."

"No," Searchlight said. "Excuse me for a breem." He knelt by the berth. "What are you, a sparkling?" He reached for his terrified roommate. "Get back out here."

"That's Soundwave!"

"I know it is. He's not going to eat you."

"Hey! Let go!"

Searchlight dragged the struggling, protesting little mech out from under the bed and stood up with him, holding him upside down by one leg.

"Put me down this instant!"

Searchlight rolled his optics, and put his roommate down. He was even smaller than I remembered. Definitely still a youngling, but probably small in any case. I wondered what term in school he was. He seemed smart enough to have skipped a few.

He got to his pedes and crossed his arms, narrowing his optics at me.

_Come near me, freak, and I'll gouge your optics out._

I silently wished him good luck with that.

"Soundwave," Searchlight said, "This is Ratchet. Ratchet, Soundwave."

Ratchet huffed and looked away. He was still scared. A lot of the other students were scared of me, especially the younger ones.

"Come on," Searchlight said, still amused. "What do you think he's going to do to you?"

Ratchet watched me uneasily. "They say he doesn't have emotions. That he doesn't have a spark."

"Who says that?" Searchlight said. _That's absolute slag._ "Besides, he totally rescued me the other orn."

"No," Ratchet said. "You just said he showed up after Verdict and his friends shoved you in a closet." _He does that sometimes… It's like he follows them around or something…_

“Yeah. He came back to help me," Searchlight said. "Also, just because he looks different doesn’t mean he _is_ different." _And now we're talking about him like he's not here. Oops._ Searchlight went over to sit on his berth. "Soundwave, you can sit down if you want,"

Ratchet still didn't seem to want me here. He watched me suspiciously as he went back over to his desk and climbed up onto his chair.

"He's really not as upset about this as he seems," Searchlight said. "Right, Ratchet?"

"Don't talk to me," Ratchet grumped, picking up his datapad again. "You scared me half to death."

"See, he's fine," Searchlight said.

Ratchet’s datapad sailed through the atmosphere and hit Searchlight in the shoulder.

"Ow!"

Ratchet pulled his pedes up onto his chair and wrapped his arms around his knees, scowling at the desk.

Searchlight vented a sigh and picked up the data pad. "Yep. Soon as he starts throwing things, you know he's fine."

_I will kill you, Searchlight._

If I was Searchlight, I'd probably be more worried.

 _But first I need that back._ Ratchet turned around suddenly. "I need that back."

"Oh?" Searchlight said, holding up the data pad. "You threw it at me."

"It's not broken, is it?"

"Serve you right if it was."

He tossed it over to Ratchet's desk, and Ratchet caught it clumsily with a snappish "Hey, careful!"

"Ratchet, we've got to do something about this self-awareness problem of yours."

Ratchet grumbled something indecipherable. _I'm perfectly aware of myself, thank you very much._

"In any case," Searchlight said, turning to me. "History project. Right. History project. We need a topic."

"I do-o-on't really ca-are what we do."

"Great." _Neither do I…_ "Um…"

"History project?" Ratchet asked.

"Oh, yeah," Searchlight explained. "Soundwave and I have to do a group history project thing together." He turned to me again. "I mean, we could so something like the Quintesson wars, but we'd have to call the topic before anyone else does. There was a list of suggested topics, wasn't there?"

I nodded. We looked over them, and eventually Searchlight realized he had to pick one because I wasn't going to.

"Let's do the formation of the Iacon High Council," he said. "That actually seems kind of interesting."

I nodded. It wouldn't be too hard.

 _Good,_ Ratchet thought. _Now he can go._

At least he'd stopped thinking about how terrified he was of me. That bothered me more than anything else. I had never really hurt anyone, as far as I could remember, so there was no reason to be afraid of me.

But I wasn't needed here anymore, and I had never been wanted. I stood.

Searchlight watched me. _I guess we can work on it again later._ "Hey, see you next orn in class."

I nodded and left. Ravage would be getting worried about me soon, so I needed to leave anyway.

I tried to convince myself that the relief Ratchet felt once I was gone didn't hurt.

* * *

I knew that Cablereach might still be watching me with the monitors, so I waited. A few orns later, when I knew he was busy teaching a class, I went to the library and got on a computer console. I didn't have enough time to do anything really interesting, but I didn't want to wait longer.

I started working on getting into the monitor system again, this time being more careful about it. If I was caught, I'd definitely get in trouble.

It was stupid to do this anyway, because I didn’t have a real _reason_ to hack the monitors but I wanted to try. I couldn’t forget what hacking them the first time had felt like. The relative emptiness of the library, and the fact that Cablereach had been thinking about the same things I was had let me truly concentrate. I’d been focused. I’d been in control.

I wanted that again.

I’d barely gotten started, though when I was interrupted.

Ratchet came into the library to return a data pad. I heard his thoughts before he saw me. He was grumbling to himself about annoying roommates, homework, and the fact that he wasn’t tall enough to reach all the library shelves.

Then he noticed me.

I expected fear again. And he _was_ startled and afraid for a moment, but the emotions settled out surprisingly quickly.

"Hi," he muttered.

I nodded, turning in his direction.

It was a mistake. My lack of facial features brought the fear back, so I quickly looked away again.

 _Well, that's rude,_ Ratchet thought.

I just couldn't win.

Ratchet decided to ignore me and walked off, but kept thinking about me. He grudgingly admitted to himself that he was being rude too, and decided he ought to at least _try_ to apologize.

After a couple breems he came back carrying three more datapads and stopped right behind me.

"Sorry if I… oh, never mind!" He turned to leave again and promptly tripped, landing in a sprawling heap. One of his data pads slid clear across the floor and into the narrow space beneath a shelf.

"Pit!" Ratchet said, scrambling back to his pedes.

The archivist—a large, dark green femme—stuck her helm out of her office. "If you're going to be using that language in here, get out!"

Ratchet ducked his helm. "Sorry," he whispered. Then he started picking up the data pads. I left the computer console and walked over as he set the first two down and went to try and drag the third one out from under the shelf. He glared at me as I approached. _Go away. I don't need help._

But he couldn't reach the datapad because his arms were too short, so he sat back with a scowl. I got down on hands and knees and fished it out for him.

He snatched it from me. "Thanks," he said, with a glare that could have frozen the sun over.

He wasn’t _actually_ angry though. He wasn’t sure _how_ to feel about me anymore.

"I'm so-orry," I said, deciding to put forth at least a little effort. "If I-I-I scare you,"

He was surprised for a moment, and then he finally relaxed. "It's okay," he said, with a shrug. _I'm sorry I was so scared…_ "Searchlight seems to think you're all right." He shook his helm. "Not that he's a good judge of character."

Ratchet turned away, and this time he managed to leave the library without tripping over anything.

I turned back to face the computer console. He hadn't apologized out loud, but that was all right. I had heard it anyway.

* * *

"Hey, when you're done with your next class, come to my room," Searchlight said. "I've been thinking about something and I have an idea."

History had been as long and processor-numbing as usual, and I really didn’t feel like working on the project. For one thing, we were ahead of the rest of the class. Most of them hadn’t even chosen topics yet, so there was no reason we had to work on it this orn.

For another thing, I already knew what Searchlight’s idea was. I had picked up bits and pieces of it during class.

I wasn't so sure I liked it.

But we _did_ have to work on the project at some point, and we might as well get it over with.

Searchlight was sitting on his berth when I came in, waiting for me. Ratchet wasn’t there, which was a relief. He might not be that scared of me anymore, but he still didn’t like me.

I sat down in Searchlight’s desk chair and waited for him to talk.

"Okay," he said. "So, I’ve been thinking…”

What a surprise.

“We have to give an oral report, right?"

I nodded.

"In the instructions it specifically states that we both have to be part of it."

I nodded again. I always dreaded getting up in front of a class to talk. Some teachers took pity on me and gave me alternate assignments I could do instead. But Bluefable wouldn't, even if I worked up the motivation to go ask her.

"I know you don't like talking. But everyone will expect you to get up there and give about half of the oral report. If I know Bluefable at all, she's not going to let you skip that part."

He was starting to sound excited.

"So, I was thinking… well it won't work if you don't, but do you have a way to record things? Like sound?"

"O-of course."

"Okay. So… so you could just record yourself giving the report piece by piece and then fit it all together and replay it when we get up in front of the class."

I looked down.

"What?"

"Tha-at might be ha-a-ard," I said.

I could just imagine something going wrong and everyone realizing it was just a recording. I could imagine them all laughing. I could imagine Bluefable's crossed arms and disappointed optics. She would not like this idea.

How could I say all that in one sentence?

"We'd have to practice a lot," Seachlight said. "We'd have to be finished early And practice and make sure to get our timing right. And you probably won't get it in one recording. But I think we could do it. You want to try? I can just see the look on everyone's faceplates already."

I stared at him. Everyone always _thought_ I was staring at them, but this time I really was.

"You can have some time to think about it if you want."

"Why-y?" I asked.

"What?"

Why did he think this was a good idea? It would make me the center of attention, and that was the _last_ thing I needed. Why did he want me to succeed so badly? Why did he think we were friends just because we were working on a project together? "Why do you ca-are?"

He stared back, surprised for a few astroseconds. _Why do I care about the project?_ "Because it'll be awesome."

I shook my helm.

"You can prove to them all that you're not… I don't know, whatever they think you are."

Thanks. Real encouraging.

"And you can't try to tell me it wouldn't be the greatest oral presentation ever."

He imagined it again. In his processor it was this huge, exciting event. Everyone would be impressed and amazed. We’d put Jazz in his place and shock Bluefable speechless.

"So are you in?"

I hesitated. I would be lying if I said it wasn't at least a little bit of a temptation. If we could pull it off…

Searchlight waited. _If he says no, I guess it's all right. It's not like it's my choice anyway. And I was the one who insisted we work together._

I vented a sigh "O-okay, sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I feel like explaining how this school thing works for them. Not sure exactly where this number came from, but a Cybertronian year (often called a vorn) is approximately 83 earth years. In my headcanon, they go to school starting when they're one vorn old. Then they spend four vorns in school. The first two are called primary school, and the last two are called secondary school. Each vorn is broken up into four terms, so you have 8 terms in primary and 8 in secondary school. Currently, Soundwave is in his third term in secondary school, which equates to about seventh or eighth grade.  
> Also, on a related note, in this story they're considered adults when they're five vorns old. I realize that's kind of a small number, but it equates to like 400 earth years. I think that's long enough.  
> On another related note, can you imagine spending 83 years in high school? Yuck.


	4. A Walk in the Park

Chapter 4: A Walk in the Park

I had never, as long as I could remember, had someone aside from Ravage who wanted to spend time with me. My creators had died when I was very young, and I couldn't remember anything about either of them. Crescent had sent me away as soon as she'd thought I was old enough and intelligent enough to keep quiet about my abilities.

Teachers and other adults had always just wished they didn't have to deal with me. They were too busy with the needs of the other students, and with their own lives. Either that, or I could feel their pity eating at me like a slow, numbing poison.

I assumed it would always be that way, until the orn I offlined, or the orn I snapped and went completely insane.

Searchlight huffed a bored sigh. We had worked on the project almost every orn since he'd had his idea about the oral report. We had almost enough sources to start working on the paper. The library was just barely crowded enough to be a distraction. I would have preferred Searchlight's room, especially if Ratchet was gone.

"Are you any good at writing," Searchlight asked. He'd been thinking about the question for a while, so I was prepared with an answer.

"I'm a-a-all right. I can write the-e pa-aper if you want."

"Nah, I should at least help. Maybe you could do some of the revising though. I'm awful at writing." _I absolutely hate it. I never know how to word things…_

I'd actually rather write the whole thing myself. I'd been listening to his thoughts as he read and researched, so I knew plenty about the parts he was supposed to do.

Searchlight skimmed through a file, barely absorbing any information from it, and sighed again. "I am sick of this," he said. "If I study any more my processor's going to melt and dribble out my optics."

I cringed at the mental image.

"So, what do you say we take the rest of the orn off and get out of this scrap heap of a school?"

We were allowed to leave of course, but I rarely did. Crowds did not tend to agree with me, and I always came back with a processor ache.

"No-o thanks," I told him. He could go if he wanted.

He raised an optic ridge as he stood and stuck the data pad back on the shelf… in the wrong place.

"Come on, Soundwave. It'll be fun. I bet you don't get out of this place often enough." _Or at all_. _I am not letting him sit here all orn and study._

Furthermore, the fact that we were working on a project together did not make us friends. I cast around for a good excuse to stay behind.

"You don't honestly _want_ to sit around and read about history."

I would rather do that than wander around the crowded streets of Kalis.

"Come on, let's go."

I just had to say no thanks and he would probably give up. I should go back to my room to keep Ravage company. I shouldn't pretend I could have friends.

"Soundwave," Searchlight said.

On the other hand, I could bring Ravage. It had been a long time since he’d been outside and I knew he missed it. "Fine."

"Don't sound so worried. It's not against the rules, and we’re totally ahead on this project."

That was not what I had been worried about, but I couldn’t explain that. I got up and went to the front desk to check out a few datapads I wanted to borrow.

Searchlight followed me, talking to fill the silence. "We should go ask Ratchet if he wants to come. I don't think that will go very well, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. He's in kind of a dangerous mood right now…"

The librarian scanned the datapads and handed them back to me. “You’ve got two decaorns to bring those back, all right?”

I nodded.

"You’ll need to take those to your room before we go,” Searchlight said as we walked out of the library. “But let's go ask Ratchet if he wants to come first. It's on the way."

I followed him down the hall, thinking. Searchlight actually did consider us friends for some reason. I knew it wouldn’t last, but maybe I could go along with it until the project was over. After that, I could just avoid him until he got the hint.

We were almost to the corner when three familiar processors came into my range.

_…bored. Surely there's a better place to wait._

Verdict and his gang.

I stopped. Searchlight, wrapped up in his own thoughts about where we should go once we left the school, kept going.

"Wa-ait,” I said quietly. “Let’s go-o a-another wa-a-ay."

"What?" He stopped and turned around.

They were waiting for us—for Searchlight, at least. They had noticed us in the library and set up an ambush on the route back to Searchlight’s room, hoping to catch him alone and teach him a lesson.

I contemplated just saying 'never mind' and letting it go. Verdict was determined to make Searchlight pay for questioning his absolute authority, so it was going to happen eventually. Once they had punished him, they'd probably move on—go back to terrorizing everyone equally.

Maybe. Or maybe Searchlight would _still_ try to stand up to them after they beat him up, and it would make them even angrier. Also, I didn't want to let him walk right into a trap, especially since I was walking with him.

"Soundwave?" _What's wrong?_

"I thi-ink…" I trailed off. I hated talking. I hated it so much. "Ve-erdict a-a-and his friends a-are wa-aiting."

"What makes you think that?"

Good question.

"I-I heard them ta-a-alking about it e-earli-ier. I meant to-o tell you-u."

"Huh…" Searchlight said. _Maybe we should just try and reason with them. They think they own this place, but they really don’t._

He couldn't possibly be that stupid.

_I don't want to drag anybody else into something like that, though. Soundwave looks pretty worried._

"Let's go around," he smiled suddenly. _They can sit in that hall for the rest of the on-cycle waiting for me._ He seemed to like that idea even more than the idea of confronting them.

Taking a longer route brought us to my room first. I went in and set my data pads on my desk. Ravage uncurled from his position on the berth, and leaped up onto my shoulders with an unhappy growl.

"Where do you keep going?"

"Sorry," I said, "I ha-ave a pro-oject. Do you want to get ou-o-out of he-ere for the re-est of the-e-e orn?"

Ravage's anger turned to excitement almost instantly. "Really? Out of the school?"

I nodded and walked out into the hall again. Ravage hissed as he saw Searchlight, and Searchlight leaned away from him, staring.

_Wow, that is a crazy big symbiont._

He was impressed, but not frightened. Did _anything_ frighten him?

"Thi-is is Ravage," I said, then gestured to the other fledgling. "Searchlight."

Searchlight nodded. "Nice to meet you, Ravage."

Ravage narrowed his optics, still suspicious. He wasn't happy with the other students in the school in general.

"It's o-okay," I told Ravage. "Se-earchlight's…" I glanced at him.

"I'm a friend," Searchlight said. Then he looked at me for confirmation.

"Yes," I said. Sort of—for now at least. But Searchlight was new here. Even if I didn't push him away after the project was finished, he'd eventually find other friends who were more interesting to spend time with and I would be forgotten.

Ravage relaxed a little, appeased for the moment.

"You do-on't mind if Rava-age comes?" I said.

"Nah, he can come." _We can go to the park. I think they allow symbionts there._ "Okay," Searchlight said. "Now let’s go ask Ratchet."

I nodded and closed and locked my door. On our way, I caught the bullies in my range for a few moments. They'd stopped a little femme and were picking on her. I was tempted to tell Searchlight about it, but I'd have no way to explain how I knew.

And we were trying to avoid them in any case. It wasn’t my problem if they picked on the other students. I didn’t normally care unless it was preventing me from recharging or distracting me from my homework. Why was it suddenly bothering me now?

Searchlight, oblivious to my inner conflict, walked in front of me, thinking. _Awkward silence… as usual. Really, this mech…_

I came in range of Ratchet. He was studying hard for a philosophy test. Searchlight was also in that class, so he should have been studying too.

Maybe he'd realize that when we got there and change his mind about going out. Ravage would be disappointed, but I’d be perfectly happy to go back to my room for the rest of the orn.

We got to Searchlight's room to find Ratchet sitting on his berth, optics narrowed, holding his datapad so close that it almost touched his faceplate.

"Hey, Ratch."

Ratchet looked up. Annoyance flashed through his processor at being interrupted. Then his optics widened. "What is that _thing_?"

Ravage leaped from my shoulders before I could do anything to stop him. Ratchet squeaked and dove off the berth, which turned out to be a bad idea, because Ravage landed on the floor as well.

I wasn't entirely sure why Ravage had done that. He wasn’t angry that Ratchet had insulted him, just amused, and maybe a little too enthusiastic about it.

Ratchet, on the other hand, was so terrified he was only thinking about hiding. He crawled under the berth and Ravage bounded toward him.

I realized I should probably intervene.

"Ravage no!"

Ravage skidded to a stop halfway under the berth, then backed out and looked at me, feeling a little hurt. _What did I do?_

I beckoned him over and he leaped up onto the desk, then my shoulders again. "Do-on't jump at anyone li-i-ike that."

"But I wasn't going to hurt him."

Searchlight sighed. _Well, that was brilliant._

"I'm so-o sorry-y," I said to him.

"Not your fault." He sat down on the floor. "Ratch, you all right?"

There was no response for a while. I could hear him under the bed, though, core overloaded with terror.

"G-get that thing away from me," he said in a strained, high-pitched voice.

"He won't hurt you."

"It tried to _kill_ me! What do you mean it won't hurt me!"

I looked at Ravage, who hunched down a little. "I'm sorry." _I guess I scared him. That was kind of the point, though. It was fun._

He wasn't really sorry.

"He's sorry," Searchlight said. "He won't jump on you again."

 _I didn't say that second part,_ Ravage thought.

He had better not do it again.

"Get it out of here!"

Searchlight reached under the berth and dragged Ratchet out. The little orange and white youngling curled up, shaking.

"Wow, you're actually scared," Searchlight said. _He must not know what it looks like when a symbiont that big jumps at you and actually means to hurt you._

I felt Ravage tense as if about to spring again. I reached up and grabbed one clawed pede.

 _Aww,_ Ravage thought, _But it's so funny._

"Of course I'm terrified!" Ratchet said. "Did you see that thing… it's still here, isn't it?" He curled up tighter, covering his faceplate with his hands. "Go away."

"Ratchet," Searchlight said. "He's not going to hurt you."

"You don't know that."

"Even if he wanted to, Soundwave and I wouldn't let him."

"It could kill you too."

 _As soon as he stops being scared, he's going to get really grumpy…_ "Ratchet, calm down."

"I will _not_ calm down!" Ratchet glared through his fingers at Searchlight. "That thing almost killed me! I almost offlined!"

"Ra-avage wouldn't have hu-urt you," I said.

 _I just would have jumped on him,_ Ravage thought.

"Ravage?" I said.

He looked at me. "I didn't hurt him. I already apologized."

Ratchet came uncurled a little, and looked up at Ravage, who turned toward him, and crouched as if to spring at him. Ratchet squeaked again and turned back into a little shuddering ball of metal.

If I could have glared at Ravage, I would have. If he was going to behave like this, I ought to take him back to my room and not let him come to the park with us.

Searchlight got up and turned around to face Ravage, looking and feeling decidedly unimpressed. "Really?"

Ravage slumped back a little.

"It's not funny," Searchlight said.

"Is too," Ravage muttered.

"I'll take hi-im back to-o my room,"

"What?" Ravage complained.

I looked at him. "U-unless you beha-a-ave."

Ratchet started to uncurl again, though he was still terrified. "If it comes anywhere near me…" he said, voice almost as shaky as mine.

"It's really okay," Searchlight said, and his voice surprised me with its earnestness, especially since he was so worried about what would happen as soon as Ratchet stopped being frightened. "You know my creators work at a symbiont shelter. I know what a symbiont looks like when it's about to try to kill you, and I think Ravage is just being playful."

Ratchet snorted. "Playful, huh?"

"Really," Searchlight said. "I promise he’s not being aggressive."

Ratchet stood up and cycled a deep vent of air. "Okay," he said.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "So, we have a question."

Ratchet shot an uncertain look at Ravage. _That thing is even more horrifying than its owner… what, Searchlight? I was studying.. oh, look at this mess…_ "You scared me half to death," he said, bending down to pick up his data pad. "If I don't study for this test, I'm going to fail the class!" _This had better be a good question._

"We're going to the park—you want to come?"

"You came here to ask me that!?"

"Just wanted to be considerate," Searchlight said. "You don't have to, if you don't want to."

Ratchet gripped his data pad harder and considered throwing it.

Searchlight noticed and held up his hands. “Okay, okay, I get it." He backed toward the door. Ratchet picked up another couple of data pads from the ground and climbed up onto the berth again, grumbling about idiots interrupting him and everyone trying to kill him. He was still unsettled, after we left. I could feel it until he got far enough away he was out of my range.

"He's ridiculous," Searchlight said, feeling mildly amused.

Something like that.

"If we hadn't gone and asked him, he'd probably be offended. Uh…" he looked nervously at Ravage.

I knew what he was thinking, but I waited for him to ask.

"Ravage really isn't going to hurt him, is he?"

"No-o," I said. "He wo-on't hurt anyone."

 _Actually, I'd be happy to rip quite a few mecha to pieces…_ Ravage pictured the bullies, and Crescent, my caretaker.

"He's really cool, though." Searchlight said. "You don't see many as big as him.”

Ravage sat up straighter on my shoulders. "Thanks."

"I'm surprised the bullies pick on you, when you have that cat."

"Not my fault," Ravage said. "He won't let me go near them, or even leave the room most of the time. If they ever come in there though, they'll be sorry."

"Ah," Searchlight said. "Okay…" _Do they even know Soundwave_ has _a symbiont?_

"You and Soundwave are friends?" Ravage asked.

I looked down.

"Yeah. Right, Soundwave?"

I hesitated, then nodded.

 _He doesn't seem too certain about that. I mean, we don't have to be friends if he doesn't want to. But it's not like he has any other friends…_ Searchlight thought. _He's probably just not used to it._

"Great," Ravage said. "Can I come to your room sometimes?" I saw an image in his processor of him chasing Ratchet under the berth.

"…sure…" Searchlight said.

No, that was not a good idea.

"…why?"

"It's really boring in Soundwave's room all the time," Ravage said. "And he keeps going to the library to work on a project." I was almost surprised to feel the real loneliness behind his words. Whenever I came back, he was always happy to see me. I hadn't thought about the possibility that he might be lonely while I was gone.

It wasn't like him to hide something from me. He probably hadn't done it on purpose. Symbionts thought things more quietly. I was pretty sure it had to do with the fact that they didn't think very hard about anything.

We passed a few other students in the hallways. Most of them stayed as far away from us as possible, afraid of me or Ravage or both of us. I reached out with my mind and pushed my range far enough that I could see where the bullies were. I found them pretty quickly. I couldn't tell their exact location, but they were far enough away that they were probably still in that hallway, waiting for us to come by and ambushing any passing students who were small enough to be good targets.

I instinctively tried to pull back my range. My processor was already starting to hurt, even with only the thoughts of the students in the nearby hallways. But as usual, I couldn't. That had been a bad idea. We were going outside.

I could stretch my range if I wanted, but it was impossible to withdraw it. I had to wait for it to retract on its own. It _would_ retract, but only so far, to a sort of base range.

My base range was expanding slowly. Eventually, I was afraid it would get large enough to encompass the whole school, then the whole city.

I didn't think my processor could handle that. I hoped it was a long way in coming, or that it stopped expanding, but I doubted it would. I’d just have to hold on to sanity as long as I could. I wasn’t sure what would happen to Ravage if I went crazy and couldn’t take care of him anymore.

No, I knew what would happen to him. Crescent would have him put down.

Going out the front doors of the school, despite everything, felt good. I had been in there too long.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Well… there's a pretty big park nearby. I've been there a couple of times. Does that sound good?"

 _That sounds like somewhere I could run._ Ravage purred his approval.

I nodded as well.

We turned onto another street. This one was a little more crowded, lined with small shops.

"If we had a whole orn and some credit, I might be tempted to get a transit ticket and go home," Searchlight said. "I live in outer Iacon."

I nodded slightly, hoping the park wasn't too crowded. If we went to any sort of densely populated area, I'd have a terrible processor ache.

"You don't get out much, do you?" Searchlight asked.

Nope.

"How far away do you live… I mean, it has to be somewhere far, since you're boarding at the school."

I looked down, trying to figure out what to say.

 _He doesn't like talking._ "You don't have to answer."

I lived here. Just a twenty breem walk away.

Ravage leaped down from my shoulders and walked alongside us.

"There have to be times," Searchlight said, sounding surprisingly thoughtful, "When there's something you _want_ to say and you can't."

I shrugged. If there was anything I absolutely _had_ to say, I usually did.

_That's got to be awful._

I was used to it, most of the time. It could be frustrating though.

_Why doesn't he get help?_

What kind of help? Medics? There wasn't much they could do about my stutter, and I wasn't sure I _wanted_ anyone to try to replace my faceplate.

And the mind-reading… that had to be kept secret.

_There has to be something they can do about the stutter. Has he seen a medic about it?_

Everyone asked that question.

The confusion of mecha walking and driving on the street with us was starting to take its toll and I couldn't concentrate so much on where we were going or the direction the conversation was taking. Searchlight talked mostly, and I nodded at appropriate times.

"…my creators had to work really hard to get me into this school…" Searchlight said. _We're only lower middle class. This school's for the rich like Verdict and the geniuses like Ratchet._ "I guess I should be really grateful, but…" _I kind of miss home._ "It's kind of weird being away from my creators so long, though you won't hear me admit that often. I'm the quiet, uncomplaining type." He grinned.

"Su-ure," I said.

He laughed. "Yeah. And Ratchet's got an even temper, and you never shut up."

"Exa-a-actly."

Ravage was starting to get confused.

Sarcasm, Ravage.

I couldn't say it out loud, though. It was slip-ups like that that lost me friends. They could tell there was something different about me—that I knew more than I ought to.

We approached the park. It was a large space, with hills and arenas for games and playgrounds, and even a little crystal garden.

Ravage bounded forward as we reached the edge of the park, then stopped and turned to face me. "Can I?"

I nodded. He turned again and streaked away. I paid attention to his thoughts until he got out of range. Ravage could handle himself most of the time, but if someone reported a wild symbiont on the rampage, and enforcers got involved...

I told myself it would probably be fine, and that I should stop worrying.

There were a lot of mecha at the park, but fortunately, they were spread out enough that my range didn't cover too many of them. A group of fledglings about our age were playing a game with a hovering sphere. One team was trying to capture the sphere while the other was trying to defend it. Then, as we watched, the sphere was captured, and the teams switched objectives.

Searchlight wandered close to the outer edges of where they were playing. He was hoping they'd invite us to join.

I didn't know the rules of the game, but Searchlight did, and so did the mechs playing, so I was able to pick them up by listening.

Eventually, one of the mechlings did notice us.

"Hi!" he said, surprisingly friendly. "Want to join?"

It must have been because I had Searchlight with me. No one had ever invited me to join a game like that.

"Sure," Searchlight said. "Soundwave?"

I shrugged, a little apprehensive. The game came to a halt, and some of them were annoyed at the interruption. The sphere stopped, still hovering. I felt some stares and curious or apprehensive thoughts directed toward me.

I was tempted to opt out of the game. They were all looking at me, wondering about my screen, wondering what was wrong with me.

"He'll play," Searchlight said.

"Okay," one of the others said at length. The way he thought felt a little older. He was also, I had picked up, the owner of the sphere. "One of you is going to have to join each team so we can keep them even."

"We'll take the brown and white," one of the fledglings on the other team said.

"'Kay," the older mech nodded, studying me. _You'd better not be as fragging timid as you look_.

Timid? I didn't get that too often, but from his point of view I did seem unsure of myself. At least he didn't think I was creepy, like some of his friends did.

I joined my team. My processor, already having trouble coping with all of the data it was receiving, was going to have a hard time keeping up with this game.

We started again. I made a few mistakes at first and felt the antagonism of my teammates increasing with each of my slip-ups. Then I started paying more attention and trying harder. If I listened to everyone's thoughts and took them into account it was almost as if I was watching the game from _everyone's_ optics, and I knew exactly where _I_ needed to be.

It wasn't like actually being able to see through them, because I only really _saw_ bits and pieces, but I could puzzle them together and get an overview of what was going on.

My team was on the offensive when I finally figured this out, and we took possession of the sphere quickly. Then it switched.

The idea of the game, the way you won or lost, had to do with how long it took you to recapture the sphere. When your team was on the offense, your timer was running, and when you captured the ball, it stopped. The first team to run out of time lost.

My team managed to keep the ball for nearly ten breems before it was taken again. The next time, only about half a breem later, I was the one to capture the ball. The other fledglings on my team were suddenly glad they had me. Searchlight noticed how well I was doing, and was pleased with himself for insisting that I join.

It took them a full fifteen breems to recapture the ball from us. We'd come in in the middle of a game where the timer had been set for a whole joor. My team had been losing, and down to only about a third of that time. But now the other team was right there with us.

I was starting to work up the beginnings of a fairly severe processor ache, but I was too into the game to care.

That didn't last all that long.

I started slipping, and it took us five breems to capture the ball the next time, then seven for them. They still had 20 breems left. We had nineteen. We lost nine on our next turn, and then they only lost eight, but the game was still very close. We only lost four breems the next time it was our turn to capture the ball. I put my entire processor to work trying to counter the strategy of the other team. By the time they recaptured the sphere, the teams were tied to within a few astroseconds.

Then a tall femme came over. "Greenfire, time to go home."

The game paused. "Come on, Lumia," the older mech said. "We're almost done."

"No," the femme replied. "You can come back next orn. Bring the sphere and let's go." Her optics flashed and even if I hadn't been able to hear her thoughts, I would have known she meant it.

Greenfire sighed and collected the sphere, much to everyone's dismay. And now that I had nothing to distract myself, the pain in my processor hit me hard. I put a hand to my screen and turned off my vision for a few moments to give my processor a little bit more power.

"Sorry everyone," the older fledgling, Greenfire, said. "Next orn, maybe."

Some nodded. Others thought regretfully about how they wouldn't be able to come.

"That was a sl… uh… awesome capture… Soundwave, was it?" Greenfire said, barely stopping himself from swearing in front of Lumia, who noticed and glared at him.

I nodded—I didn't trust my voice box.

"See you!" Greenfire left.

The group dissipated. A few more of them congratulated me on the quick capture I'd made. Searchlight started up a conversation with one of the other fledglings and I went to a bench and sat down.

It could—and probably would—take joors for the processor ache to go away. I couldn't wait for my next upgrade. It would include a processor expansion, which always helped, especially since my base range kept expanding.

Ravage showed up a few breems later, and instantly guessed what was wrong. He climbed up onto my shoulders, wrapped his tail around my neck, and rubbed his helm against mine, feeling miserable on my behalf.

I reached up to stroke the plating behind his audios.

"Tha-a-anks," I muttered. I would be fine. It wasn't as bad as Bluefable’s assessments.

Searchlight finished his conversation and came over. "We should probably head back." _It’s getting kind of dark, and I probably_ should _study for that philosophy test._

I got to my pedes, trying to balance as Ravage shifted.

 _Is he all right?_ "You okay?" Searchlight asked.

I nodded.

_He looks kind of unsteady. Did something happen during the game?_

"You were really good," Searchlight said. _I did not expect that._ "Have you played that game before?"

I hesitated, then truthfully shook my helm.

"Really?" _How did he learn the rules then? Just by watching us? That's pretty cool._

He shouldn't be so impressed. It wasn't a very complicated game.

"Well, it was amazing in any case," Searchlight said. "Are you sure you're all right?" _What's wrong with him?_ He thought back to my reluctance to come and wondered if it had anything to do with that.

"I-I'm fine," I said. Ravage hopped down off my shoulders so it was easier for me to walk, and Searchlight and I headed back to the school.

"So that was fun," Searchlight said.

I nodded slightly. Yes, very fun except for the fact that now I felt like my helm was about to fall to pieces. A great reminder that I could never be normal—that even if I _did_ get invited to spend time with mecha, it wasn’t worth it in the end.

_Really, what is wrong with him? He seems tired now, not just quiet._

At least he _noticed._ Most mecha wouldn't even have noticed that I wasn't acting normal.

 _Maybe I should just shut up. He doesn't like talking. Maybe he doesn't like being around lots of mecha. I_ did _drag him into this after all…_

And so it began. When I didn't respond, even those who honestly wanted to befriend me gave up.

And I always just let it happen. Maybe that made it my fault—maybe I just wasn’t trying hard enough.

We got back to the school.

"Well," Searchlight said. "See you tomorrow for the project. I think we can start writing the essay." _Yuck_ "You can bring Ravage if you like… though Ratchet will probably throw a fit." _Let's just not mention that to him…_

I nodded again and we parted. Ravage stayed close as we walked through the halls of the school. The bullies seemed to have left their post, so I took the fastest route to my room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Reading!


	5. Bullies

Something pinged off of the back of my helm. Jazz was bored and practicing his aim with a smuggled in handful of metallic gravel.

I ignored him, not really listening to Bluefable either as she talked about the projects, encouraging us to start working on them because the project summary was due the next orn. Searchlight and I were already halfway through the first draft of the essay, which many of the students still hadn't started.

"And you ought to be in your research by now because you only have a little more than two decaorns before we'll start the oral—"

There was a high-pitched squeak from the side of the room, accompanied—for me at least—by a flash of shock and pain that faded to embarrassment and annoyance.

"Breeze?" Bluefable said.

"My apologies, Bluefable," the little Praxian femme's doorwings twitched. Jazz had flicked a piece of gravel and hit one of them.

Another piece of gravel bounced off my shoulder.

 _He got lucky the other orn,_ Jazz thought. _They took the long way and went around us for some reason. I wonder if he somehow knew we were there…_

He had hacked the security feeds later on, to see why we hadn't come through that hallway. He did that once in a while, usually just out of curiosity and to prove to himself that he could do it. I was pretty sure I was the only one who knew about it besides Verdict and maybe Motormaster. But if I told anyone, I'd have to come up with a good excuse for knowing about it and probably some solid evidence too.

Jazz looked down at his remaining arsenal, frustrated that he couldn't flick gravel at Verdict's newest target because Searchlight was sitting behind him. _We_ will _get that stuck-up little mech. We own this school and he'll learn it as soon as we get a chance to teach him._

Not if I could help it. At least not for the next few decaorns. As much as I didn't want him to, Searchlight was working hard to help me. The least I could do was to keep him away from the bullies while we did the project. Then I wouldn't owe him anything.

Jazz flicked gravel at a few more students. I felt it when the pieces of gravel left his fingers, and I felt it when they struck their targets. He had pretty good aim. He hit more than three out of four times.

Most of them knew it was him, and pretended not to notice. Some were annoyed but didn't want to get in trouble with Bluefable, so they stayed quiet.

Jazz flicked another piece that hit Breeze's doorwing. She let out another muted squeak and turned to glare at Jazz, who grinned at her.

"Breeze, are you all right?" Bluefable asked.

"Yes," Breeze said. She almost said more—almost complained about Jazz. But he met her optics, and even though nothing was said, and they couldn't hear each others' thoughts, they communicated. Jazz was threatening and Breeze was afraid.

A few others noticed the tension, though Bluefable remained completely oblivious.

Breeze looked down, and Jazz settled back in his chair, smug.

After class, out in the hallway, he came up behind me.

"Hey, Stutterwave," he said mildly. "Looking forward to your oral report?"

I cycled a deep vent and didn't respond.

"If ya wanna practice beforehand, I can help ya."

"Go bother someone else," Searchlight spoke up from behind us. Other students in the hallway stopped, shocked.

Jazz's thoughts flipped from teasing to dark and angry in an instant. He turned around as Searchlight caught up to us.

"'Scuse me?" Jazz said. Others in the hallway backed away. "What was your designation again?"

"Searchlight." He spoke with quiet confidence, and I was certain only I could sense the low undercurrent of nervousness behind his words.

Jazz took a step toward Searchlight, also trying not to show how worried he was. This mech had stood up to him in front of an entire classroom of their peers. The shock of hearing someone speak up was slowly being replaced in some students' processors by admiration for Searchlight. Jazz couldn't hear it, of course, but somehow he knew. "Okay, Searchlight. I'm gonna give you one last warning." He slammed Searchlight into the wall with surprising force.

Bluefable—still in her classroom and just barely in my range—looked up from the desk, wondering what was going on out in the hallway.

"Mind your own business," Jazz said. "Or one way or another, ya won't be in this school very long."

Bluefable got up and started walking across the classroom.

"Understand?"

Searchlight shuttered his optics and didn't answer.

Jazz let him go and walked away, just as Bluefable came out. She surveyed the hallway, frowning at Searchlight, who was the obvious center of attention.

"What's going on out here?"

"Sorry," Searchlight said, ducking his helm. "I tripped and crashed into the wall."

Bluefable narrowed her optics, then just shook her helm and went back into the classroom. "Be more careful," she called over her shoulder.

Searchlight shook his helm. "C'mon," he waved to me and I followed him. The other students seemed to unfreeze one at a time, and started walking down the hall as well.

At the nearest intersection Jazz went one way and we went the other.

"So you have another class, right?" Searchlight said.

I nodded.

"Okay. When you're done, do you want to spend a few joors working on the essay? We should try to finish it by the end of the decaorn. At least the first draft."

That gave us two more orns. Plenty of time. But… I had been neglecting Ravage. I knew he was happy that I had a new friend, but Ravage had been my _only_ friend for vorns and pretty soon he'd be my only friend again. I needed to be taking care of him.

Searchlight seemed to sense my hesitance. He speculated at reasons involving what Jazz had said about looking forward to my oral report, or him talking me into going out into the city three orns ago.

"You don't have to," he said quietly. "I won't be offended… And I've got other homework to do too. Ugh. Homework."

"We-e-e don't have to wo-ork on the-e essa-ay to-o-ogether." I said. I took in a deep vent—not that that ever helped me talk or anything. Stupid stutter. "Ra-avage has been mi-i… mi-issi-i-ing me a lot."

"Oh," Searchlight said. "Well, you know you can bring him with you if you want. I said that before, didn't I?"

I looked at him.

"I know," Searchlight said. "Ratchet's going to freak out again. But I think he'll get used to it. He got used to you."

Ouch.

Searchlight winced. "Oops. Totally not what I meant. It's just that Ratchet doesn't seem to take well to _any_ new thing at all. But then he gets used to them." _Kind of glad I ended up as his roommate. Imagine if he'd gotten someone like Verdict._

I didn't want to imagine it.

"Well, I'll work on my part and if I don't see you later this orn, we can talk in class." Searchlight said as we came to an intersection where we had to go opposite ways.

He waved as we walked away from each other.

* * *

As soon as I walked in my door, Ravage leaped up onto my shoulders, purring. I had to brace myself against the wall so I didn’t fall over, but he was so happy to see me that I didn’t want to complain. I went over to my desk and sat down, then started working on my part of the essay. It was fairly easy, since we’d done so much research on the subject. For how much Searchlight disliked homework, the library, studying, and all things academic, he was actually a very good student.

Eventually I got stuck on the essay so I switched to doing some other homework.

It was kind of nice to have friends, but I worried that was getting too used to it. I actually _wanted_ to go hang out with Searchlight, and even Ratchet.

Of course… maybe that was a good thing. And maybe I ought to make the most of it while I still _had_ friends.

"Ravage," I said. "Do you wa-ant to go to Se-earchli-i-ight's room?"

Ravage perked up. "Yes!"

"But you ca-a-an't jump on Ratchet."

_What? Why not?_

"Rava-age."

"Okay," Ravage said. _I don't see why not. I won't hurt him or anything. He's just really funny._

"Y-you're sca-a-ary," I countered.

Ravage pouted. "So?"

So he had to be considerate. "Ju-ust don't. O-or we ca-an't go."

"Please!" Ravage said.

I couldn't leave him here by himself again. If I was going to go, I needed to bring him with me.

I sighed. Even if he promised, and even if he meant it I had a sneaking suspicion that that would change as soon as we actually got there. Oh well.

Ravage hopped off of my shoulders and I let him follow me out the door.

I showed up at Searchlight's room with Ravage following close and purring excitedly.

We came in range of the room and I found that Ratchet wasn't there. Good.

Ravage was going to be very disappointed. Honestly, what had gotten into him? He was almost as bad as the bullies. It wasn't Ratchet's fault he was easy to torment.

"Hey," Searchlight smiled at Ravage and waved us in. "So I think I'm almost finished with my part of the essay."

I nodded, and sat at his desk as he took his customary spot sprawled across his berth and handed me a data pad with his essay on it. I would want to edit it, but it was obvious he'd put a lot of effort into writing it. "It's goo-ood."

"I know it isn't," Searchlight said. "But thanks."

"At le-e-east you're a-already finished."

"I still have a couple of paragraphs," Searchlight said. "Do you want me to write the conclusion too?"

I shook my helm and got out my own datapad to work on my portion of the essay. We were both quiet for several breems as we worked. Ravage took up a watchful post on the back of my chair.

Then Ratchet approached, grumbling in his helm about idiots and murdering someone.

Not exactly in a good mood.

The door opened.

"Hey," Searchlight said. "There you are."

Ratchet glared, then let out an undignified squeak as Ravage leaped at him and knocked him over.

"Ravage!" I said.

He left Ratchet cowering on the ground and came back over to leap onto my chair. Ratchet wasn't down for long. "What was that!" he demanded as he got back to his pedes.

"So-orry," I told him, but he didn't seem angry at me.

"Can't I even be safe in my own fragging room?"

"You're fine," Searchlight said.

"I am not!" Ratchet shrieked. "That thing attacked me _in my own room_!"

Ravage was highly amused.

Ratchet turned away from us and went over to his desk. We both watched as he climbed up into his chair and sulked. I caught images of the bullies looming over him and laughing, then picking him up and hanging him upside down from the ceiling.

That must be why he was late. Now I felt bad for bringing Ravage.

The bullies had been picking on Ratchet. Maybe if I'd been paying attention, I would have noticed and could have done something.

"Ratchet?" Searchlight said at length.

"Don't talk to me," Ratchet said. "You obviously think it's hilarious when I'm scared."

Searchlight didn't miss the tremble in his roommate's voice.

Ravage leaped off the back of the chair and crept toward the little orange and white youngling.

"Ravage no-o," I hissed.

Ratchet heard me and I could feel his bitter expectancy. But Ravage stopped, feeling a little put-out, and decided to come jump on me instead. I winced as his claws scratched my paint and he climbed up onto my shoulders.

"Ratchet, you all right?" Searchlight said.

"I'm fine!"

"How come it took you so long to get here?"

"Why do you care?" Ratchet said, half angry, half sorry for himself. "You weren't missing me."

 _Did something happen?_ Searchlight wondered. "Are you okay?"

"I already said I'm fine!"

Searchlight hesitated, wondering if it would be better to push the issue or drop it.

Ratchet wanted him to drop it, but I heard the story run through his helm. The bullies had caught him alone in a hallway, teased him for a few breems, then tied his pedes to the light fixture.

Then they'd left him there to dangle upside down, knowing that if Ratchet struggled too much, he'd break free and fall and maybe hurt himself.

One of the teachers had come along eventually and let him down. Prideful though, he wouldn't tell the teacher that it had been the bullies, and he didn't want to tell Searchlight about it either, especially with me in the room.

Searchlight vented a sigh and went back to work on his part of the essay. I did so as well. Eventually, Ravage fell into a content recharge. Ratchet's thoughts settled reasonably quickly as well, though he was still in a bad mood.

Come to think of it, I had yet to see him in a good one.

I finished my part of the essay and the conclusion as well, then got up. Ravage stirred and stretched. He contemplated jumping on Ratchet again but decided against it.

"Bye 'Wave," Searchlight said.

I nodded, but didn't say anything back. Ravage was recharging again before I made it all the way down the hallway. I had an idea. It wasn't a particularly good one but I knew I could do it, so why not?

I went to the library to hack into the security files. If I could find the footage of the bullies tying Ratchet to the light fixture I might be able to actually get them in trouble. That was far from a harmless prank, because Ratchet could have been hurt if he'd fallen. It wouldn't be enough to get them expelled, and there would certainly be retribution, but so long as they didn't know that it was me who found the evidence…

Then again, should I really be doing this? I didn't want to call attention to myself. Who would I show it to? How would I explain how I had gotten these videos? I wouldn't be able to do anything with the knowledge I gained. And I didn't know if I had time to do this before lights out.

I hesitated.

But I was already here. So I got on a computer console. It took a while. Cablereach had made the files a lot more difficult to access since I'd shown him how easy it was to hack the monitors.

Ravage came online and leaped onto the computer terminal.

"Ravage!"

"What are you doing?” he asked, still in my way. “More homework?"

"Not exactly-y."

He wondered what that could mean. "It looks like homework."

"It's no-ot. I'm ha-acking something."

That didn't help. "What's hacking?"

I checked to make sure the archivist hadn't heard. "It's no-o-ot allow-wed. Be quiet."

"Oh," Ravage said. He leaped up onto my shoulders, feeling mystified as to why I would do something so boring on purpose, especially if it could get me in trouble.

I had time. Maybe I'd find something to do with the file in the future. I got to work. It took a while, but I managed to get in. I accessed the camera from the hallway I wanted and skimmed through the footage until Ratchet appeared on it. I pulled up the other monitor from that hallway and put the two feeds next to each other on the screen.

There was no sound, but even if there had been I would have turned it off to avoid drawing the attention of the few others in the library.

Verdict, Jazz, and Motormaster came on screen.

"It's them," Ravage growled.

I nodded.

They were teasing Ratchet, though you couldn’t necessarily tell just from the video. It was surprisingly hard to read what was going on. I normally relied on my ability to hear everyone's thoughts to understand what they were all feeling.

Fortunately, Ravage seemed to have an easier time interpreting. We watched as they pushed Ratchet to the breaking point and when he snapped back at them they laughed. Motormaster picked him up and dangled him upside down.

Ravage growled loud enough to alarm the femme who had been reading a data pad a few shelves away.

Jazz left for some reason, and the other two teased Ratchet, pretending to drop him, laughing at him. Then Jazz came back with a tall chair. Motormaster climbed up onto the chair and Jazz climbed up onto his shoulders. With that they were able to reach the ceiling. The light fixture was long and rectangular but there was just a bit of space in between it and the ceiling. Jazz tied a rope to Ratchet's pede and then tied it to the corner of the light fixture.

They climbed back down, said a few more things to him and walked away, dragging the chair with them and leaving Ratchet swinging gently.

I stopped the video.

I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to do with it. But it might be useful sometime in the future.

I copied that section of the video and downloaded it onto a data stick. Eventually, when I had enough evidence and a good opportunity, maybe I could show it to someone.

* * *

"There are three re-easons…"

I vented deeply and tried again. "There are three reasons why it was ne-ecessa…"

I wouldn't have been doing this in Searchlight's room, but Ravage had wanted to be here, and both Searchlight and Ratchet had told me they didn't mind me recording my part of the oral report here. Searchlight was recharging on his berth, dead to the world, and Ratchet was curled up in his too-large desk chair, studying. He was taking more classes than either Searchlight or I, so he had a lot of studying to do.

"…why-y it… why it was necessary that the High Council be formed." I spent half a breem editing the file to put the two halves of the sentence together. I cut off between the 'it' and the 'was', then played it back to myself, trying to decide if it sounded smooth enough.

The bullies got more frustrated every orn. They couldn't catch Searchlight. No matter what they did, I kept us just barely out of their grasp. Whenever they found us alone, there was a teacher too close nearby. Whenever they waited to ambush us somewhere, we went another way.

"The first re-eason… the first reason be-eing…"

Searchlight was curious as to how I did it but he hadn't pushed too hard, which was good because I couldn’t explain it to him. If he ever _did_ insist on knowing my secrets I would have to stop being friends with him.

"The first reason being that the old sy-ystem…"

"Ack!" Ratchet dove out of his chair. Ravage had climbed up onto the back of the chair and had been looking down at him in a ready-to-spring position, waiting for Ratchet to look up.

As soon as Ratchet left the chair though, it started to tilt backwards. Ravage's weight was enough to tip it over. Ravage realized that just as it overbalanced, and he leaped off with a yowl, right onto Ratchet.

"Get off!" Ratchet screamed.

The chair crashed to the ground. Searchlight came out of recharge with a start.

Ravage jumped away from Ratchet, who got to his pedes, furious. "You glitching cat!" He picked up the data pad he'd been holding and threw it. Ravage dodged and snickered. Ratchet picked up the stylus he'd been using to draw a diagram for a homework problem. He threw that too, and then anything else within reach. Ravage ducked and dodged the wildly thrown objects, hissing with laughter—enjoying this new game.

Searchlight, sitting up now, vented out a sigh and lay back on the berth. "Seriously?"

"Sorry," I said.

"Ha," Searchlight said. " _You_ didn't do anything."

I shrugged. I had brought Ravage here, and I couldn't really say that the symbiont was entirely responsible for the things he did. At least Ratchet wasn't really scared of him anymore. Just annoyed, most of the time.

Ravage came back over to me and climbed up to his favorite position on my shoulders, purring and pleased with himself.

Ratchet picked up all the things he'd thrown and took them back to his desk, the top of which was at optic level for him.

"Sorry about your recharge, Searchlight," Ratchet snapped, not sounding or feeling particularly sorry. He grabbed the edge of the chair and tried to lift it upright again. _Not that it was my fault… why do they make these things so heavy?_

 _If I go over there and pick it up for him, he'll get offended,_ Searchlight thought.

Ratchet huffed and glared. _He's just going to sit there and watch me struggle, isn't he?_ He tried again to lift the chair upright.

"You want some help, Ratch?"

"No!"

"Okay."

Ratchet managed on the third try to get the chair upright. _Just wait until I upgrade. I'll be bigger than all of you._ He climbed back into his chair and returned to his studying.

… _and we know they're in there…_

I froze as the bullies came into my range. I had known they were going to try something drastic soon. They were coming here.

If I told Searchlight they were coming, he'd ask how I knew. Always before, I’d been able to write it off as a good guess or having overheard something beforehand, but there was really no explanation for this. Ratchet would be curious as well.

Scrap. The bullies were coming here.

I could imagine this going very badly.

Ravage was here and would try to defend us. He could probably handle the bullies, but that wasn't a good thing. The school would take him away from me and I could _not_ let that happen.

"Se-earchlight?"

"Yeah?"

"Ma-aybe we sho-o-ould…" It was too late to leave. They were just around the corner.

Ratchet and Searchlight were both looking at me.

"Lo-ock the door."

Searchlight frowned.

"Why?" Ratchet asked.

I hesitated. But if I didn't speak up now… "Ve-erdict."

"What?" _Are they coming here? How does he know that?_

 _How can he possibly know something like that?_ Ratchet thought.

Searchlight got up and took a step toward the door, but then stopped. "Maybe we should stop hiding," he said.

Ravage liked that idea.

"I-I don't wa-a-ant anyone to get hurt. And i-if Ravage a-a-ata-acks a-any-yone…" the longer my sentences got the worse it was. I took a deep vent. "They'll ta-ake him a-away-y."

"If I can get rid of them, it's worth it," Ravage growled, surprising even me with his ferocity.

"Oh," Searchlight looked at Ravage, then went to the door and tapped the button on the side of the doorway that would close and lock it. _I see what Soundwave means._

Just an astrosecond later there was a knock on the door.

Ratchet's optics widened. _He_ did _know. How did he know?_

Searchlight was wondering the same thing. He was a little surprised that I'd been right, even though he'd believed me. _Is he hacking the monitors? Does he have, like, really crazy advanced scanners or audios or something?_

The knock came again.

Ratchet put his datapad on the desk. _This isn't good if it's really Verdict and his friends. What do we do if they don't go away?_

The bullies were frustrated that we wouldn't open the door. There were no monitors in the room, but they'd checked on the one in this hallway and they knew we were in here.

Motormaster pounded on the door and yelled through it. "You can't hide in there forever! Open the slagging door or we'll open it for you!"

Ratchet curled up in his chair. _They wouldn't do that. That would be destruction of school property. They'd get in trouble for that. They wouldn't do it._

I watched through the bullies' optics as Verdict motioned Motormaster out of the way and Jazz started trying to hack the door.

 _You know if we get in there and they're gone, we're gonna feel really dumb,_ he thought absentmindedly. _Of course we could always just trash the place…_

His hack failed and he tried again. I wasn't sure what kind of lock was in place on the door, but I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be enough.

"Are they gone?" Ravage asked.

Searchlight looked at me. I shook my helm.

 _What are they doing?_ Ratchet wondered. Searchlight just continued to ponder on how I knew where they were.

The door slid open.

Jazz stood just beyond, looking and feeling pleased with himself.

Verdict stepped past him into the room. "Mind if we stop in for a friendly chat?"

"Yes," Searchlight said. "I do mind. What'd you do, hack the door?"

Verdict shrugged.

Before I could stop him, Ravage leaped off of my shoulders with a threatening hiss and landed on the ground in front of Verdict, armor flared and optics burning. Verdict took an involuntary step back.

"Ravage sto-op!"

The symbiont didn't back down. Even _I'd_ never seen him look this fierce. Any moment he was going to spring at them.

The bullies, for their part, were suddenly nervous.

Verdict took another step back. "Symbionts aren't allowed, you know."

"This one is," Searchlight said.

Ravage lashed his tail, which now ended in a spiky barb.

"That's not a symbiont," Jazz said. "It's a pit-spawned demon."

"And he's not too happy with you three," Searchlight said. "So I suggest you get out before he decides to stop listening to Soundwave and attack you."

They hesitated.

Verdict glared and took a step forward again. Ravage tensed, ready to spring. If he tried, I'd jump at him and attempt to hold him down.

"This isn't over," Verdict said. "I don't know how you've been avoiding us, or how you knew we were coming, but you can't run and hide like a little sparkling forever."

The clear suggestion that Searchlight was a coward bothered him but he didn't rise to it. "I really would leave if I were you," he said.

Verdict turned around and walked calmly out of the room. "You've been warned," he said over his shoulder.

"Have a nice orn," Jazz said, and closed the door again.

Ravage's armor flattened.

"Come. Here." I told him.

His tail went back to normal and he looked down. _Sorry, Soundwave… don't be mad at me._

I got out of the chair and knelt on the ground. "I'm no-ot mad. I was ju-ust…" I sighed. If he'd attacked Verdict, he wouldn't just be taken away, he would certainly be put down.

I reached out for him and he came close enough for me to put my arms around him and pull him close. I rested my screen on the top of his helm, and realized I was shaking.

Searchlight was a little confused. He didn't quite understand the gravity of the situation.

"That's what he looks like when he wants to kill you?" Ratchet asked in a hushed voice.

"Yeah," Searchlight said.

"Well…" Ratchet said. _I guess he wasn't ever really trying to kill me. Pit, that thing was horrifying._

"Soundwave, he totally saved our afts," Searchlight said.

Ravage purred, but I shook my helm. I had already explained it.

"You said…" Ratchet looked down. "That if he attacks anyone, they'll take him away. Probably kill him too…"

I nodded. I couldn't send him home. Crescent wouldn't take care of him and there was nowhere else for him to go. He never listened to anyone but me anyway. I couldn't lose him, so he _needed_ to keep from hurting anyone. Ravage was everything I had. He was the one good thing that was constant in my life.

 _It's okay,_ Ravage thought, trying to be comforting. He broke free from my embrace and climbed up onto my shoulders. "I held back," he said. "I'm not stupid, Soundwave."

I took a deep vent to cool down a little.

 _That's the most I've ever seen Soundwave react to anything,_ Searchlight thought, _He must have been really scared._

He didn't know the half of it.

I didn't think I'd make any more progress recording the oral report that orn, not with how shaky I was, and how close that had come.

 _They hacked that lock, didn't they?_ Searchlight got up and went to reset it. _And really, how did Soundwave know they were there?_

I took in a deep vent and let it out slowly. This wasn't safe. I'd come dangerously close to letting them know my secret. And Ravage had come dangerously close to getting us in lots of trouble. This needed to end.

As soon as the project was over, it would.


	6. Questions

The bullies started trying harder to hunt us down, and it got more difficult to keep ahead of them without letting on that I knew more than I ought to. Searchlight’s curiosity got stronger every orn, but he hadn't asked me how I was so good at predicting them yet. He figured if I wanted to tell him I would.

I didn't know how long that would last. Probably not long.

But it only needed to last until the oral report.

I wasn't sure how to feel about that either. Part of me couldn't wait for it to be here, so that I could get it over with and maybe things could go back to normal. But I also dreaded it. Despite how much we'd practiced, I couldn't shake the feeling that it would go very badly.

And though I tried not to admit it, it was kind of nice to have friends, even just temporary, pretend ones.

"Hey, Soundwave."

I nodded, looking up from my notes. I had a processor ache from a test we'd had in one of my other classes. It wasn't too terrible, but it still wasn't pleasant.

"You're quieter than normal. And that's saying something."

I shrugged.

"You okay?"

No, I was not. They were going to start the oral reports in two orns and then I had three tests the next decaorn. I wished it was a matter of studying harder, but that really wouldn't help.

"Soundwave?"

I nodded again. I'd need to go check on Ravage soon. He'd been recharging when I'd gone to get him after classes, so I had just let him be.

"Hey," Searchlight said. "You mechs want to go to the park?"

"No," Ratchet said.

I shook my helm. That would probably make my processor ache worse. And I also happened to know that the bullies had been planning on going there this orn. They probably needed to let off steam by terrorizing some local younglings.

They were getting frustrated. They couldn't pin Searchlight down, no matter what traps they laid for him. It was kind of amusing, really, and it was helping the other students here. Verdict and the others were so obsessed with catching Searchlight that they didn't have as much time to torment anyone else.

 _These mechs don't ever want to do anything fun._ "Come on," Searchlight said. He got up from the floor where he'd been sitting and went to look over Ratchet's shoulder. _Are you kidding me?_ "That's not even homework," he said. "Ratch… are you reading a _dictionary?_ "

"It's an encyclopedia," Ratchet said, glaring over his shoulder.

"That's even worse,"

I turned my datapad off and stuck it in my bag.

"Okay," Searchlight said, checking his internal clock. "Hey, we should go to the energon hall."

That was an even worse idea. It was busy and crowded—definitely not my favorite place. I usually only stayed there a breem or so before sneaking away.

Ratchet checked the level of energon in his tanks thoughtfully. Then sighed. "Fine." He turned off his datapad.

Great.

I got up. "I-I need to-o che-e-eck on Ra-ava-age," I said.

"Come with us," Searchlight said. "You can check on him afterward."

I shook my helm.

Searchlight cocked his helm to the side. _What is his deal?_ "Why not? Come on."

I looked at him. He seriously couldn't think of any reason why I wouldn't want to tag along with him and Ratchet to the energon hall.

Searchlight looked back at me. _Oh…_ his optics widened. _He doesn't have a mouth._

Brilliant observation.

"Well, I'm going," Ratchet said, shoving the encyclopedia datapad in his bag and heading for the door.

"Wait, Ratchet…" But Ratchet walked out the door and around the corner.

Searchlight hesitated, hovering between chasing after Ratchet and talking to me more. _That's awkward… but really, how does he eat? Does his screen, like, open up or something? That would be so weird… I should just let it go. I don't want to ask… I need to catch up to Ratchet…_ "Okay, whatever," he said, and led the way to the door.

I followed him out and started walking down the hall to my room.

_That must really rust. He's probably super embarrassed… But it's not really a big deal. I should try one more time._

I walked faster. If I got around the corner…

"Hey, wait," Searchlight chased after me.

I sighed, and stopped.

"It's okay, mech," he said. "You don't have to take any energon. Just come hang out with us."

I shook my helm again.

"You sure?"

I nodded.

"Okay," Searchlight said. _I don't think I've ever seen him there before. I wonder if he even goes to the energon hall, or if he gets it from somewhere else. Does he even run on energon? I've heard there are other power sources… That's kind of freaky._ "Well, see you next orn."

He turned and walked away.

I headed to my room. The processor ache was backing off a little, which was nice. It probably wouldn't really go away for another few joors.

Ravage was still recharging inside, so I walked past my room instead of going in.

The school building had two main wings. One was full of classrooms, teachers offices, and the library. The other one had student dorms. The energon hall was on the bottom floor of the student wing.

I did need to get some energon soon.

But I didn't want to risk seeing Searchlight and Ratchet there, so I went to the library first to finish studying in relative peace.

* * *

There were two femmes who ran the energon hall. They had a system worked out, and kept everything very organized. It was only open before and after classes, and it closed a joor before lights out. One femme ran the energon dispenser and would give you a cube of energon. Then the other femme stood by the door and would take the empty cube when you left. The cubes were re-usable, and they didn't like losing them. That empty cube was your ticket out. If you tried to take one with you-even accidentally-you'd end up cleaning the energon hall for a decaorn as a punishment.

I had found a way around the system.

I got the cube of energon from the femme by the dispenser. Then I went over to the side of the room, to a mostly empty table. I waited until no one around me was looking at me, then I swapped the full cube of energon with an empty one from my school bag. I'd only needed to actually sneak _one_ out. Then I could just give them the one from the orn before.

I waited a breem or two before getting up to leave. I dropped the empty energon cube into the bin that the second femme was holding.

"Thank you," she said.

I nodded and headed back to my room, trying not to swing my bag too much. Once or twice the container had come open and leaked energon all over everything in my bag.

Ravage was finally awake when I got to my room. He looked up expectantly as the door opened.

"Hi," I said, and sat down at my desk. Ravage stretched and leaped onto my shoulders, purring. I pulled the cube of energon out of my bag and set it on my desk. "Ho-ow was your na-a-ap?"

"Good." Ravage hopped off of my shoulders again and stuck his olfactory sensor in the energon cube. I leaned back, turning my screen off for a moment while Ravage drank. Two more orns and things would go back to normal.

I kept telling myself that. Somehow, I was starting to doubt it. I'd been one of the bullies' favorites before. Now I was something else. Not just another target, but a real enemy. That was a significant change.

And when I stopped hanging out with Searchlight, it wouldn't stop the bullies from going after him. They'd catch him pretty quickly.

Well, it had to happen eventually, right? They wouldn't offline him. If they hurt him too badly, they'd get in really big trouble. And I could continue to hide from them on my own. That would be much easier than trying to keep Searchlight safe.

Ravage finished and backed away from the energon cube, wiping excess energon off of his faceplate with his front pede. He'd left about two thirds of the energon for me.

I took the cube. A port on my shoulder slid open and I carefully poured the energon into it. Every once in a while, I had to eat in front of other mecha and it was always very uncomfortable for everyone. This was another reason I couldn't have friends. It was just awkward.

When the energon was gone and my tanks were comfortably full, I put the lid back on the empty cube and stuck it in my bag.

Ravage climbed onto my shoulders again. "Can we go to Searchlight's room?"

"No," I said.

"How come?"

"I ha-ave a processo-o-or ache."

"Oh," Ravage said, then leaned his helm against mine. _I'm sorry. I hope you feel better soon._

I reached up to rub the plating behind his audios. I hoped that too.

* * *

The next orn, we needed to practice our presentation another couple of times, just to make sure we were ready. After classes were done I went and got Ravage from my room, then headed to Searchlight's. Sometimes I still didn't want to bring Ravage because he was distracting and he annoyed Ratchet. Also, I didn’t want to risk running into the bullies with Ravage there. But I couldn’t just leave him alone in my room all the time.

Searchlight's door was closed and locked, so I hit the request entry button. Ratchet was in there by himself. He wondered who I was, and considered just ignoring me, but then came over to let me in.

As soon as the door was open, before I could stop him, Ravage pounced.

"Aaahh!"

"So-orry." I stepped into the room.

"Get off of me!" Ratchet shoved Ravage off of him.

Ravage grinned and sat up, pleased with himself.

"Whe-ere's Searchli-ight?" I asked.

"How should I know?" Ratchet said. "He doesn't tell me anything." He went back to his desk. "And could you fragging _control_ that thing?"

Searchlight had said he'd be here.

_I haven't seen him all orn. If he offlined, I probably wouldn't know for a decaorn. Disappears and doesn't show up for joors sometimes. Who even knows what he's up to?_

That wasn't true. Searchlight was usually pretty dependable. If he said he was going to be somewhere, he usually showed up.

The bullies?

I vented a sigh and looked down at Ravage. I couldn't bring him with me. And I didn't want to take him back to my room.

"Ra-avage, stay he-e-ere," I said.

"What!" Ratchet said.

 _Where are you going?_ Ravage wondered.

"I'll be ba-ack," I said.

"Don't leave your demon symbiont here!" Ratchet said, but I walked out the door and it closed behind me.

I was almost tempted to extend my range to find Searchlight, but I knew I'd regret it if I did that because then I'd have to wait joors for it to shrink back to the base range. So I just headed toward the classroom wing. I didn't have time to hack the monitors and find out where they were, but I knew the places the bullies liked to hang out, and I knew where Searchlight had probably gone.

He usually went out to the yard during my last class of the orn. He liked it outside, and he could get to know a lot of other mecha that way. After that, he would have come back in, and headed for his room so he could meet me there to work on the project. The bullies had probably cornered him on the way.

Hopefully, they hadn't had him for too long.

I got to the yard…

Searchlight was still out there, perfectly fine, playing with a group of other students. They were throwing around a lobbing ball, talking and laughing. I walked out into the sunlight as well, wondering if he would notice me. At least the bullies hadn't gotten him. Now I was just annoyed that I'd come all this way for nothing.

He did notice me after a breem or so. _Hey, it's Soundwave. I wonder if he wants to play… oh wait… the project…_ the ball hit him hard, almost knocking him off his pedes.

"Sorry!" the mech who'd thrown it said.

"No worries," Searchlight chased after it, caught it, and tossed it to another student. "I have to go do homework. See you later!" He jogged over to me. Some of the other students were in my range, but even if they weren't, I could have guessed they were watching us, curious and a little confused. It was strange for anyone to talk to me, especially someone like Searchlight. Searchlight noticed them watching, but didn't seem to care much.

"Sorry," he said when he got close to me. "Lost track of time." He led the way back into the school and toward his room.

We didn't make it very far before a group of processors I recognized came into my range.

I froze for an instant.

The bullies had been outside, but not in my range, so I hadn't noticed them. As soon as we'd left the yard, they'd started following.

We needed to go faster.

"I'm super excited for the presentation next orn," Searchlight said. "It's going to be totally awesome."

I didn't want to tell him I knew the bullies were coming.

But we needed to go.

Verdict and Motormaster came around the corner behind us. Searchlight heard them and looked over his shoulder. "Oh, great," he said. But instead of running, he stopped and turned to face them.

"We-e should go-o-o," I said.

The bullies stopped as well.

"Don't have your attack cat with you this orn, huh?" Verdict said.

Searchlight didn't respond. He wasn't quite certain whether he ought to run or not. He knew he wasn't going to be able to put up much of a fight, but he didn't want to look like a coward either.

So he resigned himself to getting pounded into a pile of slag.

Primus beneath, what was _wrong_ with him? We needed to run or we'd miss our chance. They were just stalling.

"Go, Soundwave," Searchlight said. _I have no right to drag him into this._

Jazz came around the corner at the other end of the hallway, cutting off our exit. Perfect. I should have just taken Ravage back to my room and waited.

"Told ya we'd find ya eventually," Jazz said. He wasn't looking at Searchlight, though, he was looking at me. _I want to know how you've been evading me, Stutter…_

If I could get far enough away I could send out a teacher signal and scare them off, but I'd have to get past Jazz.

Searchlight would think I was abandoning him. He'd understand, though. The bullies closed in.

 _I wish I could communicate with Soundwave,_ Searchlight thought. _I could help him get away. This is my fight, not his. If he runs, I'll try to help him out._

Good. I turned and sprinted toward the black and white mech. Jazz moved to block me, but I pushed off the wall and slipped past him. He turned and tried to chase after me, but Searchlight jumped on him, knocking him over, and exposing his back to Motormaster and Verdict. I went around the corner, trying to stomp on the guilt I felt. It was fine—I would come back for him. I winced as I felt them shove Searchlight to the ground.

Then as soon as I was far enough away, I turned on a teacher signal.

They noticed after a few astroseconds.

 _Frag,_ Motormaster thought, _Every fragging time…_

 _I can't believe this! We finally caught him!_ Verdict's frustration was almost tangible.

Jazz, however, was suspicious. _This happens every time… Soundwave leaves and then a teacher shows up. How does he get them here so fast? I'm missing something…_

No. I froze. 

He was going to figure it out.

Verdict kicked Searchlight in the faceplate, hard. "Okay, let's get out of here."

The other two followed, though Jazz was still thinking hard, trying to piece it together.

They left Searchlight in the hallway. I waited until they were gone, stretching out my range so I could watch them leave the building and head back out into the yard.

Then I went back for Searchlight.

He had gotten back to his pedes. He had a great big dent in his faceplate, but other than that and a few scrapes, he was okay.

"What was that?" Searchlight asked.

"What?" I replied. I knew what he was asking about.

"That was weird. They had me cornered and helpless, and then they all just like stopped, and then got up and left." He looked at me. "Did you do that somehow? That same thing happened the first time…"

I walked away, hoping he would follow me. He did, but he was thinking. And he wasn't going to let it slide any longer. There were too many coincidences.

"Hey, Ratchet," Searchlight said as we got to his room. "Whoa…"

Datapads and styluses littered the floor, and Ratchet's chair was upside down. Ravage was balancing on Ratchet's overturned chair feeling smug and Ratchet was sitting on his berth, aggressively reading a datapad. He didn't even look at us.

"Nice of you to show up." He said. "Now would you _fragging get that symbiont out of here!_ "

Searchlight burst out laughing. It made the dent in his faceplate feel like it was on fire but he couldn't stop. Ravage snickered too, though he tried to hide it.

Ratchet looked up, glaring, but then he saw Searchlight's faceplate. His optics widened. "Primus, what did you _do!_ " he accused.

Searchlight got control of himself. "Ow," he said, putting a hand to his faceplate.

"What did you do!" Ratchet insisted again.

"We ran into Verdict and his friends in an empty hallway," Searchlight said. "Does it really look that bad?"

"What!" Ratchet stood up on his berth. "How are you not dead?"

"Good question," Searchlight looked at me.

Ratchet followed his gaze. "What?"

"Soundwave?" Searchlight said. "You did something, didn't you? You scared them off somehow." _How did he do it?_

He wasn't going to give up until I gave him a good enough explanation. I hesitated. It was oddly reminiscent of when the teachers had asked me how I was cheating. This time, though, I actually had an answer I could tell him without giving up my secret. I pulled my datapad out of my bag, then opened a blank file and started typing.

[The bullies have a way to tell if a teacher's coming. They've got these devices that let them know if one of the teachers is nearby. I've found a way to trick them into thinking I'm a teacher. I can usually scare them off.]

I handed it to Searchlight, then pulled it back before he was finished and added [I'm sorry I left you back there] to the end of the paragraph before handing it to him again.

He was really surprised. Almost awed. "This… that's…" He looked up at me. _How did you figure_ that _out? How fragging smart is this mech?_

I looked down.

"That's crazy, Soundwave."

"What?" Ratchet asked, looking over.

Searchlight hesitated.

I nodded, if a little reluctantly. Searchlight handed Ratchet the datapad and he read what I'd written.

"Oh… that must be how they've been getting away with so much."

I nodded.

"Wow… you should have told me you can do that…" Searchlight said.

I took the datapad back from Ratchet [Don't get ideas. They're really close to figuring out what I'm doing. It probably won't work much longer]

"How did you figure it out in the first place?" Searchlight asked.

I looked down slightly.

"It’s really cool," he said. _Why does he look ashamed about it?_

"How _did_ you figure something like that out?" Ratchet asked.

I typed [I overheard them talking about it once.]

It was true. Sort of. Ratchet and Searchlight read what I had typed.

"Hmph," Ratchet said, and got off of his berth. "Well, I still think you should take that thing," he pointed to Ravage. "Out of here."

I walked over to Ravage, who jumped up onto my shoulders from Ratchet’s chair.

" _After_ you help me clean up this mess," Ratchet said.

"We'll help you clean up," Searchlight said. "But Ravage can stay. Soundwave and I need to finish working on our project."

 _At least that'll be done after next orn,_ Ratchet thought. _Then maybe there'll be some peace and quiet around here._

With Searchlight for a roommate? Probably not.

Ravage dug his claws into me as I leaned over to pick up the chair. Ravage would be sad when we stopped coming here. But I'd explain why to him. He'd understand, eventually.

I couldn't keep spending time with them. They'd just get more and more curious about me, and ask more and more questions that I didn't want to answer.


	7. Answers

"Searchlight and Soundwave, are you ready for your report?"

Searchlight nodded and he and I stood.

_This is going to be awesome._

I hoped so.

Overall, the atmosphere in the classroom was one of boredom. Most of the other students were looking forward to the end of class. Some weren't paying attention at all. One or two were doodling on their datapads or dozing off. There were only a few who watched us walk to the front of the room, and their thoughts weren’t very encouraging.

_This is going to be hilarious._

_Oh no, not_ him. _This is going to take the whole joor._

_They really shouldn't make that poor creepy fledgling talk in front of the class. That's cruel._

_He looks nervous,_ Bluefable thought. _But he has to learn to do things like this._

We got to the front and turned around to face everyone.

"Hi," Searchlight said. We'd decided we'd let him start out and do the introduction. "We're doing our report on the origins of the Council system…" He kept going. Jazz was grinning at me, trying to throw me off.

Some students noticed the still-healing dent on Searchlight's faceplate and wondered where it came from. One or two dutifully started taking notes.

Then Searchlight finished the introduction and it was my turn. I took a deep vent, trying to calm myself. I couldn’t believe we were really doing this…

I started playing the recording of my first part, discussing the events and circumstances leading up to the discarding of the previous governmental system and the setting up of the Council. One by one, the others in the room realized what was going on.

_How…_

_What?_

_Doesn't he have a stutter?_

_Why is it so quiet all of a sudden… wait…_

By the end of my second paragraph, almost all of them were watching intently. It was a good thing I didn’t have to actually talk, because their focus was getting a little difficult to deal with. At least they were all focused on the same thing.

_What happened?_

_Did they fix his voice?_

_This has to be some sort of trick…_

_I can't believe he's talking normally…_

I had the whole thing memorized, so I gestured at the right parts and pointed at the visuals we had projected up on the board. Then I finished that section and stopped the recording. It was Searchlight's turn.

He took over smoothly, keeping his voice neutral trying to pretend that everything was normal. But he couldn't keep a small, triumphant smile off of his lip plates as he talked through the next section of our paper.

Then it was my turn again.

We went back and forth several times, and then I finished off with the conclusion. When I'd replayed the last word, Searchlight stepped forward.

"Thank you. I can answer any further questions," he said, unable to keep a little pride out of his voice.

Dead.

Silence.

On the outside at least.

_That was insane._

_That was really cool!_

_How did they do that?_

Then someone started clapping. Another student followed suit. Warmth washed over me as the majority of the students in the class decided to join in, and in an astrosecond, the whole class was applauding loudly.

They were happy for me.

Searchlight waited for the applause to die down, then turned to Bluefable, who was directing most of her processing power to figuring out how this was possible.

Jazz had also not joined in the applause. He had figured it out about halfway through and was mildly impressed, but disappointed that I hadn’t made a fool of myself.

 _…Oh! A recording. I see…_ Bluefable thought. "That was…" she said. "Very well-prepared and presented. Class?"

There was another round of scattered applause.

"Searchlight," Bluefable said. "Can I see you out in the hall?" _I don't like this very much… that was not the point of the assignment._

I looked down slightly as the other students reacted to this new development. The applause was gone, leaving me feeling empty.

Admittedly, that had been a lot of fun. And they had all been impressed. But it was a lie. I couldn't talk any better than before, and now we were in trouble.

Searchlight followed Bluefable out of the room and I started back to my seat. Everyone's optics followed me and as soon as Bluefable left the room there was a storm of whispering and speculation.

"Hey, Soundwave," Jazz said. "I got a question about the report. Can ya answer it for me?"

I ignored him and sat down, paying attention to the conversation outside the door, which I could hear through Searchlight's and Bluefable's thoughts.

"Searchlight, was this your idea?"

"What idea?"

"To have him record himself beforehand?" She didn't try to hide the accusation in her voice.

Searchlight hesitated and defensiveness crept into his emotional core. "Yes, it was my idea."

"That is not an oral report. That is practically no better than if you'd typed the words up and projected them for all of us to see, or if you'd gotten up and just read your essay out loud."

"It was supposed to be memorized and rehearsed, and it was."

"Please don't take that tone with me, young mech."

 _Then don't take that tone with me._ "We didn't break any of the rules."

"Not to the glyph," Bluefable said, "But you broke the _purpose_ of the assignment, which was to build up the confidence to get in front of a class."

"We did that. Trust me, it still wasn't easy for him."

"I appreciate that you're trying to be kind to Soundwave, but this is borderline cheating. I'll give you full points for this, because I think you meant well, and I know you worked hard, but I want you to know I won't tolerate something like this again."

"What we did was not wrong."

"Soundwave can't just fake his way through things like this. If it were any other student, I would be taking off points…"

She thought she was being perfectly reasonable—generous even. But her logic was not changing Searchlight's processor about anything.

"If it were any other student, getting up in front of a class and giving an oral presentation wouldn't be impossible," he said.

"It is not impossible. It might be difficult, but it is _not_ impossible for Soundwave to get up and speak. He has obstacles to overcome, yes, but that doesn't mean he gets a free pass whenever he wants, and overcoming an obstacle is more than finding a creative way to go around it."

"Then why aren't you helping?"

"What?"

"Soundwave. If you know how fragging hard it is for him…"

"Watch your language, Searchlight!"

"Sorry," Searchlight said. "But if you know how hard it is for him, then why aren't you trying to help him somehow. How is he supposed to know how to 'overcome his obstacles' if nomech's helping him?"

"Do not speak to me like that. We're doing what we can…"

"You aren't doing _anything!_ " Searchlight glared at her. "You aren't doing a _single thing_ to help him—don't try to tell me you are. If you want him to get up in front of a class and talk for ten breems, then you had better make a way that he can do it without having to listen to everyone laughing behind their hands at his stutter."

"Searchlight…" the warning tone in her voice was unmistakable.

"Or at least you need to… I don't know, encourage him? But no. You just _expect_ him to stand there, don't you? Do you enjoy it too? Watching him struggle?"

"Detention!"

Searchlight shut his lip plates.

"For an entire decaorn. Ten. Orns. I have never been spoken to that way by a student. I don't care if you think I'm wrong, you _do not_ speak to me with so little respect."

Searchlight looked down. "My apologies," he said bitterly.

"Furthermore, if we do any other projects, I forbid you from partnering with him."

Searchlight boiled with anger, but when he spoke he sounded calm. "You can do that. But as much as I know you want to, you can't stop me from trying to help him."

"Make it two decaorns."

Searchlight clenched his hands into fists, but didn't say anything.

_Wow, that was some serious tyranny right there…_

The thought came from inside the room. I was surprised for an astrosecond, and it took me a few more before I realized who it was. Breeze, the only Praxian in the class, was sitting at her desk, stylus poised over her unfinished doodle, doorwings cocked back and angled a little toward the door, listening.

Searchlight and Bluefable came back into the room, and Bluefable called on the next group of students to give their report.

* * *

After class, I went to my room instead of Searchlight's. The project was over. Time to stop pretending.

About half a joor after my last class was finished, a processor I recognized came into my range. He walked up to my door and hesitated, then pressed the entry request button. The door wasn't locked, but I got up and went over to open it because I knew he wouldn’t come in on his own.

Ratchet stood in the hall, looking worried. I knew what he was worried about, but I waited for him to ask anyway.

"Do you know where Searchlight is? I can't find him anywhere."

"He-e's in detention," I said.

 _What? How did that happen?_ "For what?"

I looked down. He was in detention because he'd stood up for me.

_Three… two…_

Oh, no, Ravage…

"Aaahh!" Ratchet went down, flailing as Ravage bowled him over. "You stupid symbiont! Get off!"

Ravage backed away, feeling pleased with himself. He'd pounced Ratchet—this orn was now complete.

Ratchet got back to his pedes, brushing himself off. _Every time._ Every. Time. _I can't believe this, why did I even come here? I_ knew _that was going to happen._

"Searchlight go-o-ot in a-an argument with Blu-uefable."

 _Oh._ "An argument? In front of the class?" _He's doomed…_

"No-o. Out i-i-in the hall."

 _Oh, okay, that’s not quite as bad, but still…_ "What about?"

I shrugged, but felt guilty again. I didn't want to admit that it had been about me.

Ratchet vented a sigh. _At least he isn't lying in some corner somewhere in pieces because the bullies found him. Guess I can go back to the room and study by myself…_

"Thanks, Soundwave," he said. "Guess I'll see you later."

Probably not. Not unless we had a class together, or passed each other in the hallways.

I went back to my notes.

* * *

I had an assessment the next orn. It was especially exhausting because I actually forced myself to do my own work and submit my own answers.

It was a good thing that the project was over. I had two more assessments the next decaorn and needed time to recover from them. It was nice to be able to spend time in my own room again, studying quietly.

The first test wasn't so bad, but the second one was in history, and Bluefable had mixed up the question order like last time.

I ought to have realized it before, being a mind reader. But it had taken listening to Searchlight's argument with her for me to see. She didn't even really know it herself, but she _wanted_ me to fail. She _wanted_ to prove I was cheating. I had to be unbelievably careful, and even so, I was willing to bet she'd find something in my responses that she could count as cheating.

I was the last one in the room at the end of that joor, as usual. By that point was in too much pain to care whether I'd even get a good grade. Bluefable collected my test and I walked out into the hall, where Searchlight was waiting for me.

"Hey, Soundwave…"

I didn't stop for a few moments. I barely noticed he was there.

"Soundwave."

He was trying to talk to me, wasn't he?

"Something wrong?"

I shook my helm, but there _was_ something wrong. I was having a hard time picking out whose thoughts were whose. I felt a little disappointed in myself for some reason.

"Okay," Searchlight said. _He really is trying to avoid us, isn't he?…I can't talk to him now, though._ "Well, I've got to go to detention. See you later."

It took me a while to think through what he'd said. This was really bad. Maybe if I took a nap in my next class, no one would notice. I'd pulled that trick once or twice without getting into trouble, but it was hard to recharge in a room full of processors.

At least I'd get a break soon. Having all my tests right up against each other hopefully meant I'd have several decaorns without any.

Things would go back to normal. The bullies had been a little less active over the last few orns, but that wouldn't last long. They were still after Searchlight—they weren't satisfied with a few astroseconds in an empty hallway.

Well, they would corner him easily in the future, since I didn't want to risk using my teacher signal again. After they'd caught him once and 'paid him back' for all the trouble he'd caused them, they'd probably leave him alone. He wasn’t the easiest or most entertaining mech to pick on.

After class, I went to my room. I sat down and put my helm down on my desk, trying to let myself slip into recharge, but my processor hurt too much. Ravage hopped up onto my desk and curled up against my shoulder, worried about me.

After several joors, I was feeling well enough to do my homework. I didn't want to, really, but I had nothing better to do, and I needed all the points I could get in every class. Ravage slipped into recharge after a while. Sometimes I envied the fact that he didn't have to care about things like school, science, reading, and so on. And I also envied his ability to recharge anywhere and at any joor of the orn.

Searchlight came into my range, bracing himself for a confrontation. He was half worried about me, half angry that I had stopped coming to his room.

Here we go. Why now? Why couldn't he just wait until next orn when I didn't have a processor ache?

Ravage's systems booted up as the entry request sounded.

I waited. I didn't want to get up. The door wasn't locked.

Searchlight hit the open button, and the door slid into the wall. Ravage relaxed when he saw who it was.

"Soundwave, can I ask you something?" _I haven't talked to him at all since the project._

"O-okay."

Searchlight glanced nervously at Ravage. "You haven't come to my room at all this decaorn."

I shook my helm. He was in detention every orn after classes, and I was pretty sure Ratchet didn't want me there. The project was over anyway, so it was time for things to go back to normal.

"I know I've been in detention, but…" _You can't just ditch us, mech…_ "Just wanted to know if it was all for the project."

I turned to face him.

"Now it's over," Searchlight said. "Are you just going to… stop showing up?" _Was that all this was to him? A way to get his project done?_

"Yea-a-ah." I said, still not looking at him. Friends never worked out. Never.

 _Ouch._ Searchlight crossed his arms, not quite sure what to say, but not willing to give up just yet. "Soundwave…"

"Ju-u-ust go-o."

 _His stutter's really bad. That happens sometimes, like on the way home from the park…_ "Are you all right?"

I took in a deep vent, trying to calm myself. "Yes."

"Look, I'm not expecting you to come hang out with us every orn or anything… but I thought we were friends."

He didn't really want to be my friend, did he? "Why-y?" The question came again to my processor.

"What?"

"Why-y-y do you-u ca-a-are?"

 _I'm not even sure what he means by that. Why do I care?_ "About what?"

Ravage was watching us, confused. _Did he do something mean to you, Soundwave? Why are you mad at him?_

"I don't see what the big deal is." _He's just trying to push me away, isn't he? He can't honestly want to hide in his room by himself forever. And it's not like he has any_ other _friends._

I turned around to face him. "I a-a-am not yo-our pro-o-oje-ect."

"I didn't say that."

"Y-you do-on't re-e-e-eally wa-a-ant..." I trailed off, shaking from anger and from the effort it took to speak. My processor _hurt…_

 _He really doesn't sound good._ "You're not just a project, okay? Did you somehow overhear what Bluefable and I were talking about in the hall? Is that what this is about?"

Why wouldn't he just leave me alone? "No-o."

"Then what…"

"I ca-an't have fr-ri-iends. I-I-I'm a fre-e-eak."

Searchlight stared at me for a moment, frowning. "You're not a freak."

I looked down. I was. I could hear what he was _thinking._ He couldn't try to tell me that was normal. He couldn't try to tell me there wasn't anything wrong with me.

"Soundwave, you're a genius, okay?"

I shook my helm. "I-I'm not."

"Just because you've got a stutter and you look a little different… that really doesn't mean much. I… slag, you can't give in and let other mecha tell you what you are. Even if you don't want to be my friend or anything…" _He must know how smart he is. He got into this school after all._ "Soundwave, you figured that game out at the park without needing anyone to explain the rules. You figured out how the bullies were getting away with stuff, and found a way to scare them off."

It had been easy. Most of the things I could do weren't really me. I just borrowed from other mecha who were smarter than I was. Everything I did was fake.

_If this is how he acts, though, I'm not really surprised he doesn't have any friends._

I turned to face him again, and stood up, which made me a little taller than him. "Go-o-o away." I said. "I do-o-on't _wa-a-ant_ frie-ends."

There was an instant—just one instant—when he was intimidated by me.

Then he relaxed. He looked down, and back up. "Are you telling the truth?" he asked. _He has got to be lying. Everymech wants friends._

I raised my arm, pointing to the door.

 _Wait!_ Ravage leaped off of my shoulders to land on Searchlight's. Searchlight staggered a little, but kept his balance.

"Ravage, mech, you're _heavy._ "

Ravage turned glowing optics toward me. _I think you should tell him._

What?

"Well?" Searchlight looked back at me.

"I like him, and Ratchet," Ravage said out loud. "They aren't like the other students. They're good, like you." _You should tell him._

I lowered my hand, but shook my helm.

 _Was that meant for Ravage, or for me?_ Searchlight wondered. "Were you talking…"

I held up a hand to stop him. "Le-e-eave." I said.

"No!" Ravage said. "Soundwave, you can trust him." _He wouldn't tell anyone._

 _He's shaking…_ "Are you sure you're all right?" Searchlight asked. "You aren't acting all right."

I vented a sigh. "Ra-av?"

"He has a processor ache," Ravage explained. "He gets them a lot."

"Not a-a lo-ot." I said.

 _Okay._ Searchlight thought. _That rusts… but… what was Ravage talking about earlier?_

"Please?" Ravage said.

If I told him, Searchlight wouldn't want to be my friend. He'd be disgusted, or afraid of me. But… I didn't think he'd tell anyone. Maybe that was a good way to get rid of him.

I'd never actually _told_ anyone, before. Crescent had figured it out when I was still a sparkling, before _I_ even knew what was going on. That was when she'd really started wanting to get rid of me.

"Please what?" Searchlight said. "I'm confused."

Fine. I walked past him to the door and hit the button to close it, then walked back to my desk.

 _Yessss!_ Ravage curled his tail around Searchlight's neck.

Searchlight reached up and pulled it away. _What is going on?_

I took in a few deep vents to cool down my nervous and overheating systems. "Si-it down."

He hesitantly sat on the berth, and I turned my chair around to face him. "Yo-o-ou have to pr-romise no-o-ot to te-ell a-anyone."

 _Tell anyone what? What is he going to tell me?_ He was kind of nervous, but there was an undercurrent of excitement in his core too.

I looked down.

 _I could tell him for you…_ "If you want…" Ravage said.

I shook my helm. I had to do it myself.

 _He wants me to promise not to tell anyone._ "I guess that depends on what you're going to tell me."

I took in a deep vent again.

_Is he going to say something?_

He would have to be patient. This was probably going to need a whole paragraph or two… I didn't do paragraphs really well. "I-I-It's no-o-othing… we-ell, i-it's not my-y-y fa-a-ault and it's no-ot so-o-omethi-ing I can co-ontrol…" Stupid, stupid stutter. "I-I-I ju-ust don't wa-ant the othe-e-er—we-ell a-anyone rea-ally—know-w-wing."

 _Okay. What's he going to tell me? Does it have something to do with why he doesn't have any friends? Why he has a stutter? Or is it something else… this is crazy._ "I can promise not to tell anyone," Searchlight said. _But if other mecha do need to know, I can try to convince_ him _to tell them._

That was fair enough.

I didn't feel like talking anymore. Maybe I should type it… no, I needed to explain it in my own voice, broken though it might be.

"I-I-I… hear thi-ings."

 _What? Like he's crazy?_ "Hear things?"

"Me-e-echs' thoughts."

I waited, anxious, as he pieced it together. He frowned. _This must be some kind of joke._

"It's no-o-ot a joke."

"You can hear everyone's thoughts?" I had not expected the disbelief in his voice. "Like, you're a telepath or something?"

I looked down. Maybe that was for the best. Ravage hissed and dug his claws into Searchlight's shoulders.

"Ow!"

"He's not lying." Ravage said. "Think about something."

_Is this some sort of trick?_

I shook my helm.

_Uh… how long ago was the project?_

"Si-i-ix orns."

Searchlight froze. _How? That's impossible… Who scared off the bullies when they broke into my room?_

"Ra-avage."

He stared. _You can really hear this?_

I nodded.

"No way…" He was piecing things together again. "That was how you stayed ahead of the bullies," he said. "That… that's amazing, Soundwave."

"So-o," I said. "So yo-o-ou see how I-I ca-an't have friends. It ju-ust…"

"Don't be ridiculous," Searchlight said. "Things make _sense_ now. Ha! Why did you even let the bullies pick on you in the first place?"

"Why-y are you-u so excited about thi-i-is?" I demanded.

"Because it's fragging awesome!"

"No it isn't!"

That stopped him. _I guess… oh, slag, you can hear this, can't you That must get annoying sometimes, listening to everymech's thoughts all the time. And… the processor aches…_

"I-I… I-If there's too ma-any mecha a-around, it gets hard to-o thi-ink… a-and I can't te-e-ell anyone be-e-e-ecause who-o-o… who-o…"

_Who would want someone around who can read their processor like a datapad? There's no privacy there…_

I looked at my hands.

"Have you ever told anyone?"

I shook my helm.

"So…" Searchlight said. "So you just… put up with it?"

I vented a sigh. "I-It's not so-o bad,"

"But it gives you processor aches, right?" _That doesn't sound fun at all… I bet he had a processor ache that orn we went to the park. He was acting weird… And we played that game… that must have made it worse…_

I shook my helm. He was supposed to be afraid of me, not feeling guilty about something that had happened more than a decaorn ago.

"How does this work anyway?"

I was done. No more talking. I reached behind myself to pull my datapad over from across the desk.

Searchlight got up and came over to look over my shoulder as I typed.

[I only hear what mecha are thinking at the time. I sometimes get images, smells, and feelings as well. The more focused the mech is on what he's thinking about, the louder it is. I only hear them when they're close by too. I can expand my range if I need to, but if there are too many mecha in my range, I start to have problems. My processor can only take so much before it gets really disorienting.]

"So… you hear what everyone's thinking? All the time."

I nodded.

He looked down. _He's right. That's got to be rough sometimes… no wonder he's always distracted, no wonder… the test earlier this orn…_ "If you can hear it louder when we're concentrating on what we're doing, how do you take tests?"

Very poorly.

_I bet it's hard not to cheat… impossible really. Wouldn't he do well on tests?_

I shook my helm. He ought to try taking at test in a room full of shouting and chaos. Even if the other students were all shouting out the answers. "I-It's ha-ard to think."

"That's not fair," Searchlight said. "To you or to anybody."

I knew that.

"We have to do something about that."

Oh no, we didn't. I typed furiously. [You promised not to tell anyone]

"I won't," Searchlight said. _I really won't. There’s no way I’d break my promise like that._

He was being honest, but I still wasn't entirely sure I trusted him.

_He probably doesn't want to tell the teachers. I wouldn't either. I'm surprised he told me… yeah, he can totally hear this. Hi, Soundwave._

I looked at him.

He took in a deep vent and went back to sit on my berth. "Okay. This is crazy! And awesome! And terrible, but mostly awesome."

He wasn’t even bothered by this. What was wrong with him? I typed on the datapad and handed it to him. [But you see why I can't have any friends. Nobody would want me around them, knowing that I can hear their thoughts.]

 _Really, Soundwave?_ He shook his helm. "Soundwave… I guess I can see why… why you haven't had many friends in the past." _That's a hard secret to keep and it's hard to have friends if you're keeping secrets from them._ "But I know now. You just _told_ me and it’s fine… and don't say you can't have friends. What about Ravage?"

Ravage nodded. "I'm your friend."

"Also, I'm not about to let you just sulk in your room for the rest of your life." _Wow, he's heard everything I've thought. Everything everyone's thought. I wonder what Ratchet's processor sounds like… Or Motormaster's. Yikes… Oh, and he's hearing this. Wow that is hard to integrate._

"Bu-ut it does bo-o-other you."

He hesitated. _Lying is pointless… I wonder how many times I've lied to him._ "A little. But that's not a big deal." _That's not what friendship is. It doesn't matter that you freak me out a little. I bet there's things about me that bother you. And don't get me started on how much Ratchet and I bug each other… Ratchet…_

"Are we going to tell Ratchet?" Searchlight asked. _I can see that being kind of a bad idea. I bet the answer is no._

I shook my helm. "A-at least not y-y-yet."

 _That stutter…_ and _telepathy,_ and _his faceplate… your faceplate. How the pit do you cope?_

I shrugged. I didn't really want his pity. But it felt nice that he was starting to understand. Someone was finally understanding.

_You must hear it every time someone thinks about how you look or how you talk. Every time someone calls you a freak or creepy or anything, even if they don't say it out loud._

"Yo-o-ou get used to-o it."

"I am really sorry," Searchlight said. "Sorry I dragged you to the park. Sorry if I ever…" _Thought anything mean._

I shook my helm. "It's o-okay," I tried to sound firm. He should not be apologizing. He had been uncommonly accepting of all my quirks, even in his processor. He didn't realize how different that made him from everymech else.

Searchlight took in a deep vent. "Wow… this changes a lot."

I nodded.

 _But now I understand._ "But we're still friends." It wasn't a question this time, or a suggestion.

I turned away, overwhelmed.

I must be imagining this.

"What?"

"Tha-a-anks," I said.

He was quiet a few astroseconds. _You expected me to walk away, didn't you? Don't know me very well, do you?_ "There's no need to _thank_ me for anything. Want to come help me bother Ratchet?"

 _Yes_ , Ravage thought.

"So-ounds fun," I said. "Bu-u-ut I-I have homewo-ork." And a killer processor ache. “Ne-ext orn?”

"Okay," Searchlight said. "See you in history."

I nodded. Ravage hopped off of Searchlight's shoulders and Searchlight left the room. The door closed automatically behind him.

"See," Ravage said, climbing back up to my shoulders. "That wasn't so bad."

"It was a-a-awful," I said. "But I-I-I can't belie-e-eve…" He hadn't been horrified. He hadn't pushed me away. He had only become even more convinced that we needed to be friends. It was… It was…

I put my helm down on the desk, resting my screen on my arms.

"Soundwave?" _What's wrong? You ought to be happy._

It hadn't worked. I was supposed to push him away now that the project was over. But I hadn't. I'd told him my secret, and he was _still_ determined to be my friend. Maybe I _should_ be happy, but I just felt overwhelmed. In a few orns, after thinking about it, he might not want to be friends anymore. And what if he changed his processor and decided to tell someone?

I had told someone. I wasn't supposed to do that.

_Soundwave?_

I sighed. "I-It's just be-e-en a long o-orn."


	8. No Secrets Between Friends

I shut down the computer terminal I was working at and got up, but I wasn't fast enough to leave.

"Hey, Stutter-wave."

I turned to face Jazz.

He didn't waste time. "I wanna know how ya keep evading us."

Searchlight was still in detention for another joor or so. The library was mostly empty, and the few other students in hearing distance had all decided they wanted no part in this conversation.

"Ya gonna tell me?"

Absolutely not.

"You're too good at it," Jazz said quietly. "You're too good at getting a teacher there quick enough ta stop us. Especially since Searchlight showed up. Don't tell me it's him, cuz he's dumber than Motormaster."

I tried to go around him, but he grabbed my arm. "Where'd ya get that attitude, Stutter? Ya answer me when I ask ya a question." _Searchlight's undermining us. We gotta put that little pile of scrap in his place. We got interrupted last time._

I wasn't sure what to do. This hadn't been a problem before. Before Searchlight had shown up I had always just rolled over and played dead. No big deal. They got to laugh at me, and I got to continue flying under the radar.

Now he didn't want a laugh. He wanted answers.

"Ya think ya can ignore me now that ya’re hanging out with that mech? Ya think he’ll save ya from us? Cuz all ya’re really doing is digging yourself deeper." His optics searched my screen. _Slag, I can't tell if he's scared or not. Creepy little glitch._ He tightened his hold on my arm enough that it hurt. "Tell me how ya’ve been doing it."

I'd always known that if I fought back, something like this would happen.

"I wanna hear your glitchy voice, Stutter… I'll tell everyone about that little trick ya pulled for your project. Not sure why Bluefable let ya get away with it. Guess she feels sorry for ya too. Pit, I even feel sorry for ya sometimes."

 _Did I just hear that? In_ my _library?_ The archivist came around the corner.

Jazz jumped when he noticed her there, and dropped my arm.

"Watch your language, young mech,"

"Sorry," Jazz said. "Didn't mean ta."

"And your grammar for that matter."

Jazz looked down. _Watch your fat aft._

"And get out," the archivist said. _Leave Soundwave alone._

"Sure thing, femme. Come on, 'Wavey."

I hesitated.

 _If he doesn't come, we'll just get him later. Break into his room—maybe let that symbiont of his loose. He'd get in trouble for it if it gets out, even if he's got special permission to keep it here._ He looked at me again.

"He isn't going with you," the archivist said. "Get. Out."

Jazz turned and walked away. _You can't hide behind someone else forever, Stutter._

"Sorry, Soundwave," the archivist said. "Some fledglings…" _That one especially, and his two friends._

"Tha-anks," I said quietly.

She nodded and went back to her office. I turned the computer console on again. I'd lost all the progress on what I'd been doing. Now I'd have to start the assignment over again.

Ten breems later, Jazz came back into my range with Motormaster and Verdict and I realized I should have run for it when I had the chance. The other two waited just outside the library while Jazz sneaked in to make sure I was still here.

Then they set up an ambush in the hall outside, prepared to wait the rest of the orn if they had to, until the library closed and I was forced to leave, walking right into their trap.

Oh well—it was too late to do anything about it. I finished my homework and turned it in. Then, wishing the library had more exits, I got up.

The archivist was re-shelving data pads. She smiled at me. "Have a good orn, Soundwave."

I could tell her about the bullies. She'd scare them off for me.

But that would require talking, and it wouldn't stop them in the long run. They'd find me again and it would be worse. Better to just get this over with.

I walked out the doors of the library. The bullies left their positions along the wall and converged on me.

"Hi, Stutter," Jazz said as the three of them surrounded me. "Surprised to see us? Of course you're not."

Verdict draped an arm around my shoulders. "We need to talk, Soundwave. Come on, let's go somewhere quieter."

 _Hope we get to pound him to scrap,_ Motormaster thought.

I tried to come up with a way out of this. Jazz was determined to figure out how I'd been evading him, Verdict was looking forward to making me pay for helping Searchlight, and Motormaster just wanted to hurt someone.

We came to an empty hallway—one of their favorite places to lurk. Verdict let go of me, and Motormaster shoved me at the wall. I caught myself and turned around.

"Here's how it's gonna go," Jazz said. "You're gonna tell us exactly what you're doing to avoid us."

"Or you're scrap," Verdict said.

I looked down, spark pulsing irregularly.

"You've got a breem," Verdict crossed his arms. "One breem to tell us."

"Wha-atever yo-o-ou do gets re-ecorde-ed," My stutter betrayed how nervous I was as I pointed at the security monitor in the wall.

Verdict hesitated.

"If it comes down to it, Verdict," Jazz said, "I can get rid of that. I do it often enough."

Verdict shrugged.

"And that don't surprise ya," Jazz said to me. "Does it? That I can hack the monitors."

I held still. I didn't want to give anything away. I just wanted this to be over with as soon as possible.

"Not going to cooperate, huh?" Verdict said. "Seems just a couple of decaorns ago, we were good friends."

Right. Good friends.

"You want to be my enemy? You _really_ want to be my enemy?" _You'll regret this. That new little idiot, Searchlight, is going to regret it even more when we finally catch him._

"No-o-o," I said. If Searchlight had succeeded in convincing me to stand up to them, they'd go after him again. The best thing would be to come up with some sort of lie.

"Good," Verdict slammed his fist into my midsection. I saw it coming but let it happen, then doubled over, leaning against the wall. "Breem's up. Going to talk?"

I straightened slowly. "I-I-I ca-an… ha-a-ack the mo-o-onitors too-oo."

Jazz tilted his helm to the side. _Really? Huh… well… nah, that's not enough._ "Unless ya've got them ta transmit directly to your datapad or something, Ya still couldn't be predicting us so well. That ain't good enough. How are you avoiding us?"

I could try to pass it off as luck. But they probably wouldn't believe it. I crossed my arms. "Yo-o-ou're sort of pre-e-e… pre-edi-ictable."

Verdict glared. "Excuse me?"

I looked down, surprised at myself. Maybe Searchlight's stupidity was rubbing off on me.

But Verdict just leaned closer to me. "Okay. I'm going to say I believe you for now." _We still need to get Searchlight, though._

"I'm not so sure…" Jazz said.

"Doesn't matter," Verdict continued. "I want you to do something, Soundwave. In order to get back into my good graces. After that, we can be friends again."

I already knew what he was going to ask.

"That glitch, Searchlight trusts you. I want you to bring him here for us. This off-cycle, after lights out. Can you do that for me?"

I'd spent the last few decaorns making sure they didn't catch Searchlight alone. They thought I was going to turn around and waste all that effort?

"I need an answer."

"He-e doesn't tru-u-ust me that much."

"Lying," Jazz said.

Verdict grabbed me by the shoulders and slammed me back into the wall. "Don't lie to me!"

"No," I said.

"Excuse me?"

"I wo-o-on't do it."

 _Oh really?_ Verdict let go and backed up a step. "Huh. I guess we can't be friends after all." He smiled. "In that case, I suppose we'll just have to be enemies." _He'd better agree to help me. If he begs for mercy, maybe I'll let him go._

He gave me several astroseconds to reconsider.

I didn't say anything.

"Fine then. Motor, you can toss him around a little."

"Yes!" Motormaster grinned. I didn't try to get out of the way as he threw me to the ground and kicked me against the wall. The other two watched—Verdict waiting for me to snap and agree to do what he'd asked, and Jazz still wondering how I'd managed to avoid them for so long, still not satisfied with my answer.

* * *

"…Soundwave…"

My systems booted up up slowly—sluggishly.

_Soundwave, Soundwave, wake up!_

Ravage? I onlined my screen to see that Ravage's faceplate was almost touching it.

I jumped, startled. Then I moaned and tried to sit up before remembering that my hands were tied behind me, and that I’d been shoved in a closet. I could hear Searchlight and Ratchet out in the hall, worried about me.

When Verdict had gotten bored with me, he'd called Motormaster off and they'd tied me up and left me here. I hadn't been able to get out, and no one had come anywhere near, so I'd known shouting for help wouldn't work. Eventually, I'd just decided to get some recharge.

Searchlight tried to come into the closet, intending to untie me and help me up, but Ravage turned around and hissed at him, afraid to let anyone near me.

"I-It's okay," I said. "Ravage…"

Ravage kept growling—he was beyond listening.

"Soundwave?" Searchlight said. "You all right?"

I nodded. "I-I'm okay." Sort of. Mostly.

_Nobody get near him! You let this happen. I'm going to tear those bullies to little shards!_

"Ravage, we have to help him," Searchlight said. "Let me… ow!" He tried to come closer to the closet and Ravage lashed out and clawed his arm. I felt it sting, and tried to get to my knees again.

"Don't," Searchlight said, one hand pressed to his scratched armor. "Just hold still." _We need to get a teacher or something._

No. "I-I-I'm re-eally fi-i-ine," I said.

 _He isn't,_ Ratchet thought. _That stupid symbiont. We're trying to help him… I guess he's just scared…_

Ratchet stepped forward slowly. Ravage crouched and hissed at him.

"Ratchet, don't," Searchlight said.

"We just want to help." Ratchet was doing a very good job of swallowing his fear. " _You're_ the one stopping us from helping him. I'm going to go past you and untie him, okay?"

"No!" Ravage said.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Ratchet snapped. "What do you think I'm going to do? I'm fragging smaller than you are. Even if I _tried_ to hurt him, you could stop me."

"Ravage," I said.

He deflated a little and let Ratchet slip past him into the closet. I felt his relief as his fingers nimbly undid the knots. Ravage flicked his tail nervously, then hissed at Searchlight again when he tried to come closer.

Hands free, I pushed myself to a sitting position. Damage warnings flashed across my processor. Nothing that wouldn't heal on its own, though… well I had a few dents that would probably need to be repaired.

"Ra-avage," I said again. "Stop. I-I'm fine."

Ravage turned around and brushed Ratchet out of the way to rub his helm against my chassis. _Really? Are you really all right? You weren't online…_

I was tired of telling them that I was fine. "I-I-I was just re-echarging."

Ratchet left the closet and Ravage finally moved out of the way and let Searchlight reach in and help me to my pedes.

"What happened?"

I didn't feel like the effort to explain it would be worth it. I just shook my helm.

 _Was it the bullies?_ Searchlight wondered.

Who else?

_Soundwave, was it the bullies?_

I realized he was actually asking the question and expecting an answer. I nodded, then almost stumbled over Ravage, who was standing as close to me as possible, brushing up against my legs.

Really. I was all right.

Searchlight shook his helm. "I'm sorry." _They're going to pay for this._ "You sure you're okay?" _We should take you to Ochre._

I nodded.

"He needs to go see the medic," Ratchet said.

I shook my helm. I didn't think Ravage would be willing to let me leave him in my room and I didn't think it would be a good idea to bring him with us to Ochre's office. He didn't know her, and generally didn't trust other mecha anyway. He _did_ know Searchlight, and he'd freaked out and attacked him.

"Soundwave, don't try to tell me you're not hurt, we can _see_ you are."

I pointed to Ravage. "He-e needs to-o-o calm do-own first."

Searchlight looked at the symbiont. _Yeah, I don't want to know what he'd do to any medic that tried to work on Soundwave right now… let's go to your room instead, 'Wave._ "Okay," he said.

We walked to my room. It was late, almost lights-out, and they'd get in trouble if they weren't in their room by then. Searchlight didn't even think about that. Ratchet did, but decided to come with us anyway.

We got there just as the warning bell sounded through the school, letting us know we had ten breems before curfew.

"Y-you two-o-o should go."

Ratchet shook his helm.

 _Not happening,_ Searchlight thought. _We're going to take you to Ochre as soon as Ravage calms down._

"I-I-I'm fine."

_I want to let Ochre decide that._

I sighed, and didn't protest again.

 _What is going on?_ Ratchet thought, looking at Searchlight, then me. _It's like they're talking to each other through a comm. link or something, but they can't have those installed yet, can they? You get those installed when you get your adult frame._

I sat down on the ground and took Ravage in my arms. He was calmer now, but still a little jumpy. I had only seen him this worried about me once or twice before. His survival and protective protocols were still very much engaged.

"So..." Ratchet said.

"You can go back to the room if you like, so you don't get in trouble if we get caught wandering the hallways," Searchlight said.

It was a little annoying, but oddly comforting at the same time that they cared so much.

It really wasn't too bad. Verdict got bored very quickly if you didn't try to fight back at all. Stiffness from being tied up in the closet and some decent-sized dents were the extent of my damage. It hurt, but it was nothing to the way I felt after taking a test.

Ravage had calmed down now.

"Ra-a-avage?"

He looked up at me.

"I need to go-o-o."

"No," Ravage said. "I'm coming with you."

I shook my helm. He had to stay here.

"Don't worry," Searchlight said. "We won't let anything happen to him."

Ravage almost argued, but then deflated. "Okay," he mumbled.

"I'll be ba-ack soo-oon."

He leaped up onto the desk and stared at me as I stood up. _I'm scared. I don't want you to go again._

He'd be fine. I’d be back soon.

We left and started down the hallway. The school usually seemed pretty empty at this time of the orn, but I could hear students in their rooms as we went past them.

 _So,_ Searchlight thought, _Soundwave, what are we going to do next about Verdict and his friends? We've got to do_ something _about them._

No we didn't—I shook my helm. It would be better for everyone if we didn't do anything. They'd ruled the school for the past three terms. They wouldn't step down without a fight, and we could not win that fight.

_You can tell when they're anywhere close by, right?_

I nodded.

 _See, there, they're doing it again,_ Ratchet thought.

 _Can you… hey, you know how they have those things to tell them if the teachers are nearby? Could you make some that told us if_ they _were nearby?_

I looked up and hesitated a moment. Probably not. I didn't have the materials I would need for that. I shrugged.

"Okay," Ratchet said, feeling angry and left out. "What are you two doing?"

"What?" Searchlight said.

"What are you doing? You've got this concentrated look on your face and you…" he glared at me. "keep… nodding and things."

I hadn't really had conversations with anyone where they were just thinking—except for Crescent, but she didn't like talking to me at all. I hadn't thought about how suspicious it was for me to be communicating with mecha this way. We’d have to be more careful about it.

"It's… nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ratchet."

That was the wrong thing for Searchlight to say.

"Fine! Don't tell me. I'm going back to our room so I don't get in trouble. You two have fun keeping secrets." He turned and walked the other way. I listened as he got closer to the edge of my range and his quick anger faded to a more typical anxiety. He was afraid that the bullies were lurking in the halls, and that they’d target him next.

"That probably wasn't good," Searchlight said. _I'll have to deal with the fallout from that when I get back to the room._

"Ma-aybe…"

"Maybe It'd be better if I talked out loud," Searchlight said.

I nodded.

_I’m still getting used to this whole idea. It’s amazing that you can read minds._

I shrugged.

_But yeah. I can see how it might not be a good idea to talk like this all the time. Are we ever going to tell Ratchet? About the mind reading?_

I had to think about that for a few breems. I wasn't sure I trusted Ratchet not to tell anyone else. And he would certainly freak out.

I wanted to trust him, though.

_I won't tell him if Soundwave tells me not to, but it'll make being roommates with him pretty hard… oops. You can hear me._

"Yo-ou can tell hi-i-im."

"Don't let what I just thought influence…"

"I-If you think we-e can tru-ust him, the-en tell him."

"Okay," Searchlight said. _Leaving the decision to me, huh?_

You're welcome.

We got to Ochre's office. She was in the room behind it—she lived at the school in case there was some emergency in the off-cycle.

We requested entry at the door and waited. She got up from her desk, and walked through her office to let us in.

 _Searchlight and… Soundwave, oh my, what happened to him?_ "What happened to you?" she asked.

I shrugged.

"Tripped and fell down the stairs," Searchlight said.

"He did or you did?"

"He did. I'm fine."

"I can see that. You didn't have that big dent on your faceplate last time I repaired you, though." _How did he get that? What more can this fledgling possibly get up to…gah, he looks so innocent he_ has _to be up to something._ "Okay, well, thank you for bringing Soundwave here. You'd better hurry back to your room. Lights out is in a few breems."

Searchlight didn't want to leave, but he started for the door anyway.

 _What happened to his arm?_ "Hang on," Ochre said. "Come back here, Searchlight."

 _What? Okay_. Searchlight turned around.

Ochre walked over to him and grabbed his arm, turning it a little so she could look at the scratches. "What is this?"

"Oh," Searchlight tried to pull his arm away. "That's just…"

"No," Ochre said. "Do not tell me another lie. This looks like claws…" _Something large. He's lucky these didn't go deep. Whatever it was it wasn't trying very hard to kill him._ "You aren't keeping some sort of feral symbiont in your room or something, are you?"

"Um, no." _Soundwave, what do I say?_ I nodded. He could tell her it had been Ravage. Otherwise they'd look into it.

"Soundwave has a symbiont…" Searchlight said. "You know… he's got special permission to have it so it's allowed. When he, uh, fell down the stairs it freaked out and wouldn't let us go near him. I think it just scratched me because it was scared."

"Oh," Ochre said. _Okay… still not sure I buy this. How big is this symbiont? This is like… like some sort of full-sized wolf or something._

"It's not leaking energon or anything," Searchlight said.

 _I should probably clean it out at least. Who knows what could have been on those claws. Well... the scratch really isn't bad._ "Fine. Keep an optic on it, though, and come back if you notice any rust or discoloration, all right?"

Searchlight nodded.

"You can go."

"Got it," Searchlight said. "See you next orn, Soundwave." He left.

Ochre watched him go, thoughtful. Then her attention was on me again. "Come sit down." _It's almost light's out. Couldn't they do their tripping down stairs earlier in the orn?_ She gestured to one of the two berths in the office.

"So," she said. "Did you really trip down a flight of stairs?" _Never pegged him as the clumsy type._

I shrugged.

 _He's always so quiet._ "Let's see." She scanned me and was a little surprised by the extent of the damage. "Must have been a long flight of stairs."

I was glad I didn't have facial expressions to give me away.

"Can you hold still while I pop out a few of these worse dents?"

I nodded.

"All right." She pulled out a magnetic tool and started working on a dent in my shoulder, gently coaxing it out. It stung, but I held still.

"So," Ochre said. "While you're here, I want to hear you talk a little." _Let's see how that stutter's coming along._

"Okay," I said. "Wha-a-at do you want me-e to-o-o talk about?" I tried to sound cheerful, but I hated listening to her analyze it in her processor.

 _37.5% of words mispronounced, 55.6% too many syllables, counting hiccups. More data necessary._ "Why don't you tell me the story of how you ended up falling down a set of stairs."

I hesitatd.

 _Yeah, they were lying._ "Or you could just tell me what really happened."

That was no good either.

"I need you to talk, Soundwave." She popped out another dent, and I winced. "Sorry. Why don't you tell me about your symbiont?"

That was a better idea. "He-e… Hi-is name i-i-is Ravage. He's a la-arge cat. I've had hi-i-im since… we-ell si-ince I was a-a spa-a-arkling."

_That brings this conversation to 46% of words mispronounced and 54.5% too many syllables. If data continues to be around these percentages, I can conclude that there's been a worsening of the condition. Of course, it's hard to tell. He seems to stutter more when he's nervous…_

It really didn't help that she was keeping track. I kept talking for a little while, until I was certain she had enough data she wouldn't ask me to keep going. She'd finished fixing me by then, and was trying to decide if she should tell me she thought my stutter was getting worse or not. She was pretty sure it was only psychological, brought on by the trauma of what had happened to my creators and I when I was a sparkling.

I couldn't really remember it that well, but I knew what had happened, and I was pretty sure the stutter didn't have anything to do with that. The stutter came with my abilities. There was something wrong with my processor.

"Thank you for talking," Ochre said. _I know it’s hard for him._ "Keep working on that stutter." _I wish I could tell him how to improve it, but I don't know. It's got everyone I've talked to stumped as well. He needs a really good psychiatrist. You'd think that caretaker of his has enough money to get him one._ "You can go now. I'll comm. the hall monitors and let them know you've got my permission to be out of your room."

"Thanks," I said.

She smiled. "No problem. Watch out for staircases."

I left her office and went back to my room, leaving her feeling a little worried for me. Was it my imagination, or had she seemed nicer than last time I'd been there? Maybe she was just in a good mood, or maybe I was paying attention more to what it felt like when someone actually cared.

Ravage was in my room, waiting anxiously for me when I opened the door.

"I-I told you I-I-I'm fine," I said to him.

He relaxed. "I know. I was worried anyway."

If I could have smiled, I would have. "Thanks," I said, and put a hand on the top of his helm.

"I'm sorry I scratched Searchlight."

I was sure he'd forgive. "Y-you sould sa-a-ay that to hi-im."

"I know," Ravage said.

"You didn't hu-urt him ve-ery ba-adly-y."

Ravage nodded. _But I did attack him. I shouldn't have done that… and you're tired, aren't you? Your stutter's worse._

I had noticed that. I lay down on my berth and tried to recharge.


	9. Caretaker

"Good orn, class," Bluefable said from the front of the room. "I have the scores for our last assessment. I'm sending them out to you now. Please look them over briefly and then put them away. If you have any questions, you can come up after class to ask."

I looked down as a file downloaded itself onto my datapad. Hesitantly, I opened it, not expecting much.

64%

Worse than I'd expected. I closed the file quickly.

But I was too late.

"Wow, Soundwave. Sixty-four," Jazz said. "That's pretty bad."

The whole class heard and I was suddenly bombarded with a mixture of pity and mecha either trying to pretend they hadn't heard, or suddenly feeling better about their own scores.

"Please don't discuss your scores," Bluefable said, glaring at Jazz. "Or especially the scores of the other students. She hadn't been able to find any evidence I had been cheating. That was a step, at least. But I must have been too busy concentrating on not borrowing answers from the processors around me to actually pay attention to the questions.

She went back to lecturing.

"Hey, Jazz," Searchlight whispered.

Jazz kept his optics on the teacher and ignored Searchlight. _I'm not going to get in trouble on account of him._

Searchlight was struck with a sudden lack of what to say. I hoped for a breem or so that he'd just decide not to say anything.

"You always pick on mechs who won't fight back?"

Jazz tilted his helm to the side, annoyed now. _Think he just called me a coward…_

No, Searchlight…

"Class," Bluefable said, with a warning look at Searchlight.

Searchlight looked down at his desk.

When she'd gone back to lecturing, Jazz spoke quietly. "Ain't picking on him. He don't have feelings ta pick on."

It was intended to make Searchlight angry, and it worked. Some of the others around were listening intently, worried for Searchlight or excited to hear what would happen next.

"You're the one with no spark."

Jazz shrugged. _Lame comeback, mech._ "Took ya this long to figure that out, huh? Even dumber than ya look." _He's gonna snap._

"Just…"

"Searchlight," Bluefable said. "Do I need to assign you another decaorn of detention?"

Searchlight froze, then let out a vent. "No, Bluefable."

"Then please stop talking and pay attention."

* * *

Searchlight still had some time in his detention sentence, but after I was done with classes for the orn, I got Ravage and took him with me to Searchlight's room. Ravage wasted no time in jumping off of my shoulders to land on Ratchet’s desk.

Ratchet started with a little screech, and Ravage hissed a laugh.

"You!" Ratchet said. "Get off my datapad you big ugly cat."

"Sure," Ravage said, and jumped onto Ratchet's chair instead, burying Ratchet.

"Get off!" Ratchet shoved him off and he crawled under the chair and curled up there, flicking his tail.

 _He'd better not try anything from down there,_ Ratchet thought, then realized that where Ravage was, I was too. He froze.

_It's Soundwave… scrap, I mean…_

Searchlight had told him my secret, and he was afraid of me again.

"So-o-orry," I said. "I can go-o if you li-ike."

Ratchet considered that, "Can you really…” he glanced at the open door and spoke more quietly. “Hear what I'm thinking?" _Or is this some sort of practical joke? Searchlight_ would _think something like that was funny._

"No-o joke," I said.

 _I don't believe this. This isn't possible. This is like… magic or something. There is no such thing as magic. And if it_ is _true, then yes, I want him to go away and never ever come near me again._

I shrugged. "Okay." Well, there went all the progress I'd made. I shouldn't have told Searchlight he could tell Ratchet.

"Don't do that! Don't answer my thoughts. Just go away. That's…"

Ravage came out from under Ratchet's chair. "Soundwave doesn't ever use it to hurt anyone."

I was surprised that he had been following the conversation so well.

"Soundwave's good," he continued.

Ratchet wavered. _I guess that's true. He hasn't given any evidence that he'd hurt anyone. But that's still creepy. He can hear this, can't he? He can probably pick through my processor and learn anything he wants about…_

"I can't," I said.

He glared at me.

"I ju-ust hear wha-at you think whi-ile I'm i-in the-e same room."

"Oh, is _that_ all," Ratchet said. _Nothing's safe. He could know anything, about anyone._

That was true, but it wasn’t my fault. I knew a lot of secrets—a lot of things I didn’t want to know.

 _Then again…_ Ratchet skimmed through his memories of me.

"That time… the first time, before Searchlight ever brought you here, when Verdict and his friends had cornered me. They left with no explanation, and you showed up. You scared them off, didn't you?"

I nodded.

"And you knew about it… because you heard it happening."

I nodded again

"And that's how you're so good at avoiding the bullies. You can tell where they are and what they're doing."

Yes.

"Hmmm…" Ratchet said. _Now that I think about it, maybe I want this mech on my side._ "Okay," _I suppose I can't really trust you... I also don't understand why you go to this school. If everyone found out what you could do, they'd kick you out or worse._

"I kno-ow."

Ratchet sighed. "I… I won't tell anyone, of course… I promise."

"Tha-anks."

"And I guess I don't care if you keep showing up here. Is there a way for you to stop hearing everyone's thoughts?"

I shook my helm.

_Well… actually, hearing everyone’s thoughts would be kind of unpleasant._

No kidding.

"Whatever," Ratchet said. "I don't care. You don't have to leave."

I sat at Searchlight's desk and started doing homework. Ratchet had been working on an essay for his ancient philosophy class, but he was too distracted now. He tried annoyingly hard not to think about anything he didn't want me to know, which inevitably led to me knowing everything that he was trying to hide from me. Eventually, though, he seemed to realize that and decided to come up with questions for me about my abilities instead, which was just as distracting, and only slightly less unpleasant for me.

Only half a joor later, Searchlight came down the hall … _was awesome… I can't believe that actually just happened. I love this school…_

He came in the doorway, looking a little… singed.

"What did _you_ do?" Ratchet asked. _And why is he out of detention so early?_

"You always assume it was me who did something."

"Why are you out of detention already?"

"There was kind of an accident," Searchlight said. I caught an image from his processor of one of the cabinets at the side of the room going up in flames.

"What did you do?" Ratchet demanded again.

"Nothing!" Searchlight insisted.

 _I don't believe you… Soundwave probably knows the truth._ "Soundwave, what did he do?"

"Whoa," Searchlight said. _You sneaky little…_ "Not cool, Ratchet. Misuse of power."

I shrugged.

Ratchet huffed and turned his back to us.

 _So touchy,_ Searchlight though, _Is he really annoyed or is most of it posturing?_ He looked at me for an answer.

I shrugged again.

"I didn't do anything," Searchlight said. "Though it was probably still my fault." _He said if I ever needed to get out early he could make it happen. Of course if I'd known how awesome it would be, I'd have asked him to do it before._

"I don't care anymore," Ratchet said.

I was still curious, but Searchlight was thinking about me again.

 _I didn't know the test-taking thing was that bad._ "Soundwave, how hard is it for you to take tests?" Searchlight asked.

 _What?_ Ratchet wondered. _What about taking tests.. oh, wow, he can hear everymech else's answers. That's cheating._

I looked down. "Whe-en other mecha a-a-are fo-ocused on somethi-i-ing, I can he-e-e… hear them lo-ouder."

"And you said that gives you a processor ache, and makes it hard to focus?" Searchlight asked.

 _Slag,_ Ratchet thought.

"We've got to do something about that," Searchlight said.

Like what exactly? "It's fi-ine."

"It's not fine," Searchlight said.

"What would be fair," Ratchet said. "Is if you took the tests by yourself with no one else nearby. And it sounds like that would help too."

Yes, that was true, but they'd never let me do that without a good reason and while I _did_ have a good reason, I couldn't explain it to anyone. I shook my helm and typed on my datapad. [There's no way I'd be able to convince them to let me do that. Not without them asking questions I don't want to answer.] I showed them what I'd written.

"Well, I was thinking," Searchlight said. "'Wave, are there any teachers you trust?"

Cablereach came to mind, but it wasn't so much that I trusted him. He was just more friendly than the others.

"I understand why you have to keep this a secret," Searchlight said. "But there's got to be someone you can tell who can help you. Someone who'd understand and not freak out."

I shook my helm. I could not tell any adults. I probably shouldn't have told Searchlight and Ratchet. Crescent would be so mad if she found out.

"I mean, what happens if you fail a class because you can't take tests?" _What if they kick you out of the school?_

I shrugged. Crescent would find me another school. Entrance exams were usually easy because I could take them alone.

In any case, it was time to change the subject. "So-o what _did_ ha-appen in dete-ention?"

"Oh," Searchlight said. _Are you just trying to get me to drop this issue? It's not over, Soundwave. But the detention thing was awesome so…_ "Well, it's kind of weird, actually. My first orn in detention, I was sitting next to this other fledgling and we started talking. He'd heard somewhere I'd stood up to Verdict and I guess he thought that was pretty cool. He told me if I ever needed to get out of detention early, he could make it happen. I wasn't really sure how he intended to pull that off. He wouldn't tell me what had landed him there, but he did admit he'd been in detention since the second decaorn of the term. Double detention, actually. Poor mech. In any case, I wanted to get out early this orn, cuz I wanted to talk to you, Soundwave, about the whole testing thing and I figured with what I said to Jazz in history… they'd probably be waiting to ambush me at the end of detention…"

"Wait," Ratchet narrowed his optics. "What did you say to Jazz?"

"Eh," Searchlight said. "Not much really. He was being a glitch."

"You can't just _antagonize_ them!" Ratchet said. "The more you do that, the more they'll come after you. They won't stop until you're dead or…"

"Don't be ridiculous," Searchlight said. "Nomech's going to offline."

"The-ey might try-y-y to get you e-expe-elled," I said quietly. They'd done that once before, apparently. It had been before I'd come to the school, but some of the students remembered it. It would be even easier with Searchlight because he was only lower class. They'd kick him out for almost anything.

"Yeah, whatever," Searchlight said. "In any case, I asked my friend in detention this orn if he was serious about the whole getting out early thing. He told me to watch and warn him if the teacher on duty looked up from his datapad. So I didn't even see what he did, but then half a breem later, the nearest cabinet… well, it caught on fire, then after everyone had freaked out and rushed to the other side of the room, it exploded. It was epic. The teacher told everyone we could leave, but said we all had detention the next orn instead." _The teacher said if he found out anyone had done this on purpose, they'd be in serious trouble. I hope that mech doesn't get in trouble on my account. Then again, what can they do, give him more detention?_

Ratchet's optics narrowed further, strongly reminded of something that had happened to him in his chemistry class earlier in the term.

"What?" Searchlight asked.

"Nothing."

"Well, in any case," Searchlight said. "Soundwave, you really should consider telling a teacher about your problems with taking tests. I'll keep an optic out for one we can trust. On another subject, why did the bullies ever pick on you if you can evade them so easily?"

I shrugged.

"It doesn't make sense. I _know_ they picked on you before I showed up."

I pointed at Ratchet. He had it figured out, and I didn't want to explain.

_Because of Ratchet?_

Ratchet huffed. "Obviously, he doesn't want anyone to realize he can do things he shouldn't be able to. Besides, it's easier to just let them pick on you. If you fight back they hurt you worse."

 _That’s so wrong,_ Searchlight thought. _Things shouldn't work that way._ "That's wrong."

"No, it's true," Ratchet said. "Which is why _you_ should stop provoking them."

"I didn't say it was false, I said it was wrong."

"What? That's exactly the same thing!"

"No it isn't." _You have to stand up and do something when there's a problem like this._ "If you just let them walk all over you, they're never going to stop."

I looked down. That was a good point, but…

"Well," Ratchet said. "Sorry, Searchlight, but some of us would like to survive the term, thank you very much." He turned away and went back to his homework.

It wasn't going to change Searchlight's mind, though.

* * *

The next orn in history, as I had worried, I heard Jazz thinking about how to best get rid of Searchlight. He was wavering between plans to get him expelled and plans to catch him alone somewhere so Verdict and Motormaster could teach him to be sorry for standing up to them.

It was enough to make me reconsider the seriousness of the situation, and by the time I was out of my last class for the orn, I had decided what my next step would be.

Since his classes were done for the orn, Cablereach was in his office. He looked up when I knocked and remotely signaled the door to open.

He didn't try to hide his surprise at seeing me. "Soundwave?"

I nodded. I couldn't tell him about my abilities, but I _could_ tell him about the bullies.

"Come in." _I wonder what he wants. I'm glad he's finally here to talk to me, though._

I stepped forward and he gestured for me to sit down. "So," he said. "Can I help you with something?"

"I-I…"

He shook his helm and reached into his desk for a datapad. "This might work better than talking out loud." He opened up a blank document and a keyboard at the bottom of the screen.

I accepted it. [yes, thanks] I typed, then turned it around so he could read it.

He nodded. "All right. So, how are you doing? I heard about your project from Bluefable. Clever idea, though I don't think she appreciated it."

[It was Searchlight's idea] I typed. [and he got in trouble for it. Is there a way you can help him out? He doesn't deserve to be in detention when he was only trying to help me.]

A memory of Bluefable explaining what had happened flashed through Cablereach's processor _"I have never been spoken to like that in all my vorns as a teacher…"_

"No," he said, "I don't think the detention was because of the way you did the project." _I'm kind of interested to know what Searchlight_ said _to her._ "Is that what you came here to talk to me about?"

[No], I typed. [I just want to tell you something. There are some students. Verdict, Jazz, and Motormaster. They have devices that let them know when a teacher is nearby.]

Cablereach raised both optic ridges. "Really?"

[They use them to break the rules, but stay out of trouble.]

I wasn't sure how much longer their trick was going to work in my favor. Jazz was suspicious. They'd changed tactics from leaving when a teacher was coming to letting their quarry go and waiting for the teacher to show up. I figured pretending to be a teacher would only work one or two more times at the most, so I might as well do this. I didn't feel remotely guilty about telling on them either. In fact, I ought to have done so a long time ago.

"I see," Cablereach said. "That's not good at all. Do you have evidence of this?" _I think I might actually be able to get them in trouble for something like that._

[I don't have any actual evidence.]

Cablereach nodded. "All right." _Too bad._ "Is there anything else you can tell me about this? How did you find out?" _I can't do much with only speculation._

[I overheard them talking about it.] I lied.

"Did you happen to record that conversation?"

I shook my helm. Then wrote [They do get away with a lot of things they shouldn't. Don't any of you notice?]

Shame, and a touch of frustration filled Cablereach's core. He looked up from the datapad. "Yes, we do notice."

I held out my hand for the datapad. He gave it back. [Why don't you do something?]

 _I should not be discussing this with a student…_ "It's hard," he said. "As of yet, we haven't been able to pin anything on them, since they haven't done anything bad enough to be considered technically criminal… at least nothing that I've been able to catch. And even if they did, Verdict's creators would probably get him out of it." _If we ever had proof he_ did _do something… solid proof…_ "I mean, according to the other students, they tease, extort, threaten, occasionally steal things or break things or get into fights. But though we have _some_ evidence, it isn't enough to get them in serious trouble." _It might be enough to get other students in trouble, but Verdict's got a layer of immunity because his creators donate generously to the school. That shouldn't be the way things work. That should never be the way things work… I wish I could…_ "Soundwave," he said. "I will look into this teacher warning thing. If you find out more about it, would you let me know? Or if you have proof of anything they've done."

I thought about all the files I had from the security cameras. But Cablereach had access to those too. If he was looking for evidence, why didn't he just check those? [If I find evidence, will you use it?]

He read what I had written. _I do not want this fledgling to get in trouble because of something I said._ "I don't want you digging around, trying to unearth someone else's misdeeds, and I don’t want you breaking any rules yourself, or putting yourself in danger. But yes. If you do see anything, bring it to me and I'll do what I can."

I nodded.

"Okay," he said. "Well, was there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

I shook my helm.

"You're always welcome to come talk to me. Thank you for coming to me with this. I'll see what I can do about it."

I stood and walked to the door. That had been less productive than I'd hoped. There were plenty of things I could tell him about the bullies, but all of the solid evidence I had was either connected to my secret, or connected to hacking into the school computer system.

And as much as Searchlight wanted me to, I wasn't going to tell Cablereach or any other teachers that I could read minds.

He didn’t understand—didn’t _really_ understand how dangerous my abilities were. An adult would.

* * *

"Hey, Soundwave?"

I looked in Searchlight's direction.

 _There's a holiday coming up._ "Going home for Memorial Orn?"

I shrugged.

"Only two decaorns away," Searchlight said. _And I've only got three more orns in detention… Then I'm free._

 _Oh, no!_ Ratchet thought. _The term's almost over._ "Yes," he snapped. "And then after that, only three decaorns until final exams." _I'm so doomed._

"What do you have to sound so panicked about?" Searchlight said. "You're acing every class."

Ratchet took a deep vent. "I… Oh, you wouldn't understand."

"Smart mecha are crazy," Searchlight said. "Right, Soundwave?"

"E-e-every-yone's crazy."

Searchlight grinned. "I guess you'd know wouldn't you? Oh, hey, 'Wave, I was thinking. You _could_ find other ways to talk. If you record enough things, you can always spit them back out. I mean, it'd be hard to stick words together to make new sentences, but if there's something you have to say a lot, you could record it…" _And then you wouldn't have to stutter through it again… oops, that sounded kind of mean._

"I doubt that would work," Ratchet said.

"It was just an idea."

"And last time you came up with an idea like that, you got two decaorns of detention for it."

Searchlight rolled his optics. "Ratchet…" _I'm not really in the mood to be lectured._

Ravage, who'd been recharging at the foot of Ratchet's berth woke and leaped down to the floor with a yawn.

Ratchet seemed to miss the tone in Searchlight's voice. "I mean, you're lucky Soundwave didn't get in trouble too…"

Ravage tilted his head and ducked a little. _His pedes dangle off the edge of that chair. I wonder…_

"…And it would have been your fault. You didn't think through that veryaaaah!"

Searchlight looked up. Ravage had grabbed Ratchet's pede in his mouth and pulled the youngling forward off of the chair.

 _Big ugly…_ "Leggo my pede you stupid cat!"

Ravage dragged him out from under the desk and over to Searchlight, where he dropped him.

"Brought you something," Ravage said to Searchlight, grinning.

"Oh, thanks," Searchlight said. "But I don't really need one of those."

Ratchet got up. _That is it!_ He jumped on Ravage, who was taken by surprise, and actually stumbled to the side a little. Then he knocked Ratchet off and pinned him to the ground.

"Hey! Ow! Get off!"

Ravage considered for a moment, then backed off. _Hey, Soundwave, can we keep him?_

Ratchet brushed himself off and glared at Ravage. _Looks at me like he wants to_ eat _me half the time._ He stormed back over to his chair.

Ravage came over and leaped up on my shoulders. _Really,_ he thought with another yawn. _Can you get another symbiont?_

For him to jump on? Probably not a good idea.

_I mean, I know Ratchet's not a symbiont, so we can't keep him..._

Was he lonely? I supposed now I had another best friend he might be. But he'd been coming with me most orns to Searchlight's room, so he'd actually had more company than he had before I was friends with Searchlight. Then again, I wasn't giving him my undivided attention anymore.

I was worried that if I got him another symbiont, he wouldn't need me anymore. But that was selfish of me. I reached up and stroked behind Ravage's audios. If Crescent would let me, maybe I'd get a friend for him… one large enough he wouldn't just use it as something to play-hunt.

"Also, you didn't answer my original question," Searchlight said. "Both of you. Are you going home for Memorial Orn?"

"Probably not," Ratchet said. "I live all the way in Stanix. I'd have to take a groundbridge if I wanted to be there and back in time."

Searchlight looked at me.

I shook my helm.

"Where do you live anyway?" Searchlight asked.

I shrugged.

_Come on, that's not a weird question is it?_

"Kalis."

“What sector?”

“Thi-is one.”

 _What?_ "You live here?"

I nodded. Ravage sensed my discomfort and wrapped himself tighter around my shoulders. His engine growled in a low, threatening sort of way.

Ratchet looked up from his reading. "Then why do you board at the school?"

 _Do they not want him at home?_ Searchlight wondered. _He doesn't have creators, right? They died in an accident or something…_

I didn't really feel like explaining.

Fortunately, Ravage would sometimes do it for me. "His caretaker's a glitch," he said matter-of-factly.

Of course, Ravage often worded things a little differently than I would have.

 _Okay?_ Searchlight thought.

 _Caretaker? Not creator, or even guardian?_ Ratchet set the datapad he'd been reading on the desk.

Silence fell, because neither of them wanted to ask the questions that were queuing up in their processors. But that was ridiculous, since I could hear their questions already.

Ratchet realized that first and asked. "Uh… what happened to your creators?"

"They died when he was a sparkling," Ravage said. "He doesn't remember them very well. One of their friends offered to take him in and raise him, but she's a glitch. She doesn't _actually_ take care of him." _That's why I have to_.

And then of course both of them felt sorry for me. I didn't want to go to the trouble of telling them that I didn't care, and that I was used to it.

"Yikes," Searchlight said. "Well… I'm going home for the holiday, and my creators said I could bring some friends with me. So do either of you want to come?"

"No," Ratchet said. "I have to study."

"Come on," Searchlight said. "You never do anything but study." _What is his problem? Soundwave, surely you can come._

"I ca-a-an't," I said. "I'd have to ge-et per-ermission."

"Okay," Searchlight said. _But if you want to come… permission from your caretaker? What would happen if you just asked her?_

It would depend entirely on her mood at the time.

"I'll come ask her for you."

That was a very bad idea. I shook my helm.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Searchlight sighed. "Okay. But it'd be cool if you could come. Besides, I want to introduce Ravage to my creators." _They'll think he's awesome._

I shrugged. I'd ask Crescent.

Maybe she'd even say yes.

* * *

The next few decaorns passed quickly. The bullies even seemed to lose interest in us. Jazz still wondered how we were evading them, but he didn't do anything about it. He was just watching, waiting for us to slip up. They started tormenting the other students again, worse than before. It seemed they had to take their frustration out on someone. I felt bad for not trying to help everyone the way I helped Searchlight and Ratchet, but there was no way I could. And with the end of the term drawing near, tests were more numerous.

As Memorial Orn got closer, I found I really did want to go with Searchlight. I thought I'd get along with his creators—he'd told me a little about them and I'd picked up other things from his thoughts.

So the orn before the holiday, after classes were over, I left Ravage in my room and went to talk to Crescent.

The streets of Kalis were unusually crowded and everyone was thinking excitedly about the coming holiday. Memorial Orn was a day to remember the Quintesson wars and honor the mecha who'd fought in them. Of course, the wars had been centuvorns and centuvorns ago, and there weren't many mecha still alive who'd fought in them. It was more of a cultural celebration now than anything else. There would be parades and carnivals. Friends who hadn't seen each other for vorns would get together.

I didn't mind the noise so much for once. Normally this much excitement jarred against my typical mood. But I was almost inclined to feel celebratory myself. And it distracted me from the fact that I had to go talk to Crescent.

All things taken into account, when I got to her house, I did have the beginnings of a processor ache. Something about moving through a crowd was even worse than standing still in one.

I knew the code for the front door and I had a room here, but I didn't really feel like this was my home. And for some reason that was even more true now. This place did not hold many good memories for me—none that didn't involve Ravage in some way. I stepped in, looking around as if this was the first time I'd been here. She'd had the walls repainted again—everything was pale blue now.

 _What does he want?_ Her thoughts came from the sitting room where she was writing a letter at the main table. _Is he going to be here next orn? Why can't he stay at the school? They aren't_ that _awful to him there, are they? Soundwave, get in here and talk to me. I haven't got all orn._

I walked over to the sitting room. Often, she had friends here—or what she called friends at least. Most of them didn't really care about her. They all just liked to pretend, and then spread nasty rumors behind each others' backs.

"Soundwave," she said, looking up and scooting her datapad off to the side a little. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

I suddenly wished I'd brought Ravage, just because I always felt a little more confident with him around.

"Well?" _What the frag does he want? He's going to ask me for something, isn't he? Either that or he's finally snapped and he's come to kill me._ She shuddered a little. "Don't _stare_ at me like that."

I looked down. "Crescent."

"What?"

"A… a-a frie-end invi-i-ited me-e ove-er for Me-emoria-al Orn."

 _He has a friend?_ "A friend?"

I nodded.

 _Who would want to be his friend? Also, what does that have to do with me, exactly? I guess he needs permission to go? Pit, I don't care_ what _he does for Memorial Orn, so long as he doesn't get in trouble. He can even come here if he wants, since I'll be gone._ "You want my permission to go?"

I nodded.

_You haven't told this friend of yours about your defect, have you?_

I shook my helm.

_The mind-reading one, not your general creepiness or your stutter. Everyone can see those._

I shook my helm again. I wished she'd just say out loud that I could go.

She hesitated. _I don't want to let him think I'll just give him whatever he wants. Where's that beast of his?_

"I-I left Ra-a-avage at school."

"Are you going to leave it at the school all orn if you go to your 'friend's' house, or are you going to dump it on me, because neither of those things is acceptable." _You have nowhere to put that creature._

"A-actually, I-I'd ta-a-ake him with me-e."

"Oh, really." _And does your 'friend' think that's all right?_

"It wa-as his i-idea."

She narrowed her optics. _Don't take that tone with me._ "Soundwave, I'm busy, please don't bother me with things like this."

"I-I-I just need o-one wo-ord."

"No."

Oops. That had been my fault. I should have been more careful. Now I had two options. I could beg or I could give up. The first would annoy her, the second would mean I had to stay at school.

Or I could _try_ reasoning with her. That almost never worked.

"I-I do-on't see why-y I shouldn't be able to-o-o go-o."

"You don't? Do this poor fledgling's creators know he's inviting you over? And even if they do, do they know what to expect?" _No one would want their creation spending time with a freak like you. I know I wouldn't._

She did have a point, though I was starting to think she was wrong about some things.

 _I really don’t care, I just want him to leave me alone.._ "Fine," Crescent said, "Go then. Or don't go. Or whatever you want. But don't expect this to be any different from the other times someone's tried to be your friend. And don't come crying to me afterward, when this mechling wakes up and realizes what a freak you are."

"Y-you kno-ow I won't," I told her. "Thank yo-ou, Cre-e-escent."

She raised an optic ridge. _Thank you? Are you mocking me?_

I shook my helm and walked away because that was what she wanted me to do, and I didn't want to give her time to change her processor again. Outside, I let myself feel a little excited. It had been a close call, but I had convinced her to let me go.

The pain in my processor developed on the way back. It wasn't as bad as taking a test, but I knew my stutter was going to be pretty heavy for the next few joors. It had been awful at Crescent's house, but it was _always_ awful when I was talking to her. I stopped by Searchlight's room, and was surprised to see that he had convinced Ratchet to play a board game with him. It was spread out on the floor, and they were about halfway through the game.

Ratchet was winning.

"Hey, Soundwave," Searchlight said. _What's up?_

"I-I can go-o-o," I said.

"Great! I'm probably going to leave at one or two joors in the on-cycle, so we can get on the mass transit in time."

"O-o-okay," I said.

"You want me to come and get you when I'm ready to leave?"

"Searchlight, it's your turn," Ratchet said.

"Right," Searchlight looked down at the board. _What move did he make…? Oh… I'm dead._ "You want to play, Soundwave?" _You can totally be on my team._

"I-I-I ha-ave to go ta-alk to Ra-a-avage."

 _His stutter's pretty bad,_ Searchlight thought suddenly. _You okay, Soundwave?_

I nodded and turned to leave. I wanted to thank him for offering to let me go home with him for Memorial Orn, but it wasn't worth the effort at that point. I'd thank him after my processor ache went away.

Ravage perked up when I got into my room. "So, can we go?"

I nodded and slumped into the desk chair.

"Good." _Did you murder Crescent for me?_

I shook my helm. "Yo-o-ou're hopele-ess."

He tilted his helm to the side. _You're tired._

"I-It wa-a-as pretty crow-wde-ed."

"Oh," Ravage said. "Right."

He climbed from the desk to my shoulders and I got out my only piece of homework for the orn. Some teachers did not know when to stop.


	10. Keepsake and Cam

Searchlight came early the next orn. Ravage was still recharging, but he came online as I got up to go open the door.

"Ready?" Searchlight asked.

I nodded, and Ravage climbed up onto my shoulders.

We left the room and the door closed quietly behind us. The school was pretty empty. I usually liked it here on holidays because I could hole up in my room and have my processor to myself for a whole orn.

It was early enough that the crowds in the streets weren't bad either. Searchlight talked about his creators as we walked. They worked at a symbiont shelter and his mech creator did some computer programming on the side.

"…They'll probably have a few symbionts around the house. Keepsake always insists on bringing some of them home when there's a holiday and they don't have to go to work. I hope Ravage is okay with other symbionts."

"He-e'd better be," I said.

Ravage caught my warning tone and rolled his optics. _I'll be fine. Don't worry. I won't kill any of them._

"Okay," Searchlight said.

We got to the mass transit station and I let Searchlight lead the way. Whenever I had gone anywhere with Crescent, we'd taken a private shuttle, a groundbridge, or a groundbridge. Never a ground transport of any kind, much less a non-sentient one that ran on tracks.

Unlike the still-peaceful streets, the station was very crowded and the line at the ticket office was long, but Searchlight knew what he was doing so I just followed him.

"Ever been on a mass transit before?" Searchlight asked as we got to the back of the ticket line. I shook my helm. _Well, guess there's a first time for everything..._

The crowd was dense enough that I was already feeling a little overwhelmed. It didn't seem like the line was moving particularly slowly, but it was long.

_Soundwave are you going to be all right with this many mecha around?_

I shrugged. It would be fine for a while. If we had to stand here for a joor, I'd have problems.

_Could try to cut in line… nah…_

Fortunately, the line moved faster than I expected it to. Searchlight got two tickets for his home sector of Iacon, which was a large, sprawling suburb at the very edge of the city-state.

"I-I could pay fo-or that," I said. Crescent rarely gave me any credit to spend, but I never used it for anything, so it had accumulated over the vorns. I didn’t have that much, but definitely enough for a mass transit ticket.

He handed me the small, round disc that was my ticket. "Nah, it's fine." _Thanks for offering, though._

We walked through the station to a reasonably empty platform. The benches by the wall were full, but Searchlight walked toward the tracks, and I followed him.

"Whenever my creators and I travel, they bug me about standing so close to the tracks. My femme creator especially," Searchlight said. "But I love it when the mass transit comes in and it's going past you so fast… I mean it's not _that_ fast, but it's pretty fast. I like the way the atmosphere kind of pulls you toward the transit. Kind of weird, I know."

I heard weirder things on a regular basis. Most weird things didn't make it all the way to mecha's voice boxes, though.

We had twenty-five breems before the mass transit was going to come.

 _I wish he talked more,_ Searchlight thought.

"I-I would if i-it weren't so ha-a-ard."

Searchlight ducked a little. "Oops. I didn't really mean that." _And you shouldn't answer my thoughts in a public place. Someone could notice._

If anyone nearby was paying attention to our conversation, I would probably know it.

"So, have you ever left Kalis?"

I nodded. "I-I've been to a lo-o-ot of places." Crescent liked to travel and when I had been too young to leave at home, she'd taken me. She hadn't wanted to leave me with anyone else because she'd been scared of what would happen if they found out about what I could do.

Now that I thought about it, I wasn't sure what she'd been so scared about. I had told Ratchet and Searchlight and they hadn't seemed too upset about it. Well, Ratchet had been a little frightened, but he'd gotten over it.

"I've just been to Kalis and Tagan Heights and different parts of Iacon." Searchlight said. "And I haven't even been to central Iacon, just the sectors near mine."

I nodded. I'd been all the way on the other side of Cybertron before, to Simfur and Tarn, and even to Vos once. Vos had been like a different world. It had been amazing, though, and I could almost understand why the seekers thought they were better than the rest of us.

"How far have you been?" Searchlight asked.

I didn't really feel like talking, but then again, I never felt like talking. I told him briefly in my broken voice about some of the cities I'd been to, about the different styles of buildings and frames and the parties Crescent had gone to. My voice box got really tired after a few breems, though, and I had to stop. We waited in relative silence after that, until the mass transit came in.

We could hear it before it came around the corner, and feel it too. It made a deep rumbling sound and the ground trembled beneath our pedes as it came into view. The wind as the front of it passed us was strong enough that Ravage dug his claws into my paint and flattened his armor, worried he'd get blown off of my shoulders.

Searchlight had his optics shuttered and his hands loose at his sides. He liked the feeling of almost being blown away. It made me think of the orn I'd met him when he'd attacked Motormaster to give me time to get away.

Completely crazy.

We boarded the mass transit. I might have tried to just walk on, but I could hear that the ticketing agent wanted to scan my ticket so I handed it to him.

Being able to read minds was useful sometimes.

The mass transit ride took a few joors. The tracks dipped and we went down several stories until a glimpse of the sky was only an occasional thing. There were tall pillars and broad passages underneath Cybertron's surface. It was mesmerizing to watch—the way all the brightness and shadow patterned the inner planet's workings. The occasional shaft of sun came down and reflected off of walls and spires to throw mazes of light back and forth across the caverns. For the first joor all I could do was stare out the window at the beauty of it.

Then I started to get nervous. Searchlight's creators seemed very nice from what I'd heard about them, but that would only make it worse if they thought I was creepy. What Crescent had said replayed in my processor again and again. The thing was, she was wrong that I couldn't have friends, but right that most mecha thought I was creepy. They didn't like me, even if they felt sorry for me. It wasn't just my screen, though. My stutter also bothered mecha, and my frame was kind of an unusual shape. Even those who weren't secretly afraid of me were curious. Why doesn't that youngling have a faceplate? Why is he so quiet? What's wrong with his voice box?

Crescent's friends were the worst. The femmes were openly frightened of me. The mechs put on indifferent masks and were disgusted on the inside. Crescent had sometimes pretended that she took me everywhere with her because she felt sorry for me and because she missed my femme creator, who she'd been close to. I had met quite a few of her friends—the rich, the powerful, even a few Iacon nobles. She'd wanted me to help her determine which of them were plotting to socially stab her in the back. She'd stopped, though, because she'd decided she couldn't trust me either.

Searchlight's creators wouldn't be like Crescent's friends. But if they thought I was some sort of freak, it would be even worse. I knew I shouldn't worry about it so much, but by the time the mass transit came to a stop, I felt sick. Ravage could tell there was something wrong, somewhere in the back of his processor, but he was too excited about being in a new place to care. We stepped off the transit and walked away in the crowd. Ravage was about to leap off of my shoulders, but I put a hand up and grabbed his front pede to stop him. As soon as I wasn't worried about him getting lost or hurt in the crowd, I'd let him stretch his legs.

We walked out of the transit station and onto crowded streets. I let Ravage jump down. He stretched and yawned, then walked beside me.

"So," Searchlight said. "That was actually the first time I'd gone on the mass transit without an adult."

I looked at him.

"And you… you said you'd never been on it before. What did you think?"

I shrugged. It had been kind of fun, actually, despite how long it had taken. I'd liked looking out the window and seeing the inside of the planet. Crescent wasn't one for staring out the window at the scenery.

"So your caretaker's got to be pretty rich, huh?"

I nodded.

"She could get your faceplate fixed, couldn't she? If she wanted to?"

I shrugged.

"I bet she could. I mean, I know you have to get a donor, because you can't make faceplates, but it's doable, just expensive."

"I-I'm not wo-orth that much to-o-o her."

_Who approved her being your caretaker?_

I shrugged.

 _I don't think I'd like this femme very much…_ "So, it's about a fifteen breem walk, uh…" Searchlight said. _It's not the biggest house, or the nicest. In fact, it's pretty much a dump_ — _or it would be if Keepsake didn't keep it so clean._

Now he was nervous about this too. Nervous that I would think his _house_ was somehow not good enough.

"Se-earchlight," I said. He could live in an actual, literal scrapyard and have rat symbionts for creators and I wouldn't mind. He was the only friend I'd ever had besides Ravage.

He seemed to understand from my tone of voice—at least that I didn't care about his house.

The mass transit had been pretty crowded, but mulling over plans for the orn while staring at the scene out the window, like most of the mechs and femmes on the train had been doing, wasn't very loud, and my processor was still okay.

A little of my tension had ebbed away as we'd started walking, but now it sneaked back in as we neared Searchlight's house. They would wonder about my screen at the very least—everymech did. They'd probably think it was strange. They'd probably think I was creepy, but that was normal too. The only mecha who weren’t at least a little scared of me were Ravage because he was a symbiont and didn't care, and Searchlight, because I didn't think there was _anything_ that frightened him.

We walked down a long flight of stairs, and stopped at a small, run-down apartment complex below a shopping center. "Here," Searchlight said, stopping in front of the second door in the row. Ravage followed us up to the door, then decided he needed to be on my shoulders. He backed up and leaped. The impact sent me stumbling into Searchlight.

"So-orry."

Searchlight shrugged. _Ravage's fault, not yours._

"We-ell, he so-ometi-imes fo-orge-e-ets to apolo-ogize."

_You okay?_

I nodded. Just nervous.

"Who forgets to apologize?" Ravage asked.

Searchlight keyed the door open on a rusty-looking panel attached to the side. The door stuck a little as it slid open, and he shoved it open the rest of the way and walked in.

"Hey, I'm home!" he called. _This place feels so different after I've been at the school for so long..._

I could hear his creators perk up.

 _'Hey, I'm home…' well, that's Searchlight all right._ A femme came into view at the end of the hallway.

"Searchlight," she said with a smile. _It's been so quiet and lonely around here…_

Searchlight turned around and beckoned me in. "Keepsake, this is my friend Soundwave."

"Oh, good," Keepsake said, smiling at me. _You mentioned him once or twice in your letters to us._ She looked at my screen. I knew she'd noticed it. But she didn't think much about it, and studied Ravage instead.

_That's a large symbiont… he looks built to fight. Let's see… bright optics, clean, very relaxed and tame-looking… Soundwave takes very good care of you._

Her sudden approval surprised me. She smiled. "Don't be shy, I promise I don't bite. Can't say so much for some of the symbionts I have here this orn, but if one of them bites you let me know and I'll make them sit on the porch. Come in."

Ravage leaped down off my shoulders before I could stop him, and padded over to her. I took half a step forward, but Keepsake smiled. "Oh, don't worry. He's fine." She knelt to be optic level with him. "Nice to meet you. I'm Keepsake."

"I'm Ravage."

She tilted her helm to the side. "Are you as fierce as your designation suggests?"

Ravage grinned. "I can be."

 _He also seems very intelligent._ "Well, make yourself at home here," Keepsake said. "Both of you." She stood up and Ravage walked off to explore the house. He seemed very calm and comfortable, which was helping me relax a little.

I followed them into the front room. It was small, but cozy. There was a bench along the wall for a couch, and a holovid projector. On a table by the bench sat a small, sleepy-looking symbiont with floppy audios.

Searchlight's mech creator was sitting on the bench, fixing something one of the other symbionts—one I hadn't seen yet—had broken, and grumbling about it in his processor.

He looked up when we came into the room. _And yes, he did bring a friend… Huh, interesting. I wonder what the visor's for._

"Cam," Searchlight said, "This is Soundwave."

Cam put down the device he was working on. "Nice to meet you." _Hope he doesn't mind symbionts running all over. Where are those little terrors Keepsake brought home for the orn? It's too quiet… she should have left them in the shelter in their cage where there's nothing to break._ "Sit down."

We all sat on the bench.

"So," Keepsake said. "How is school going?" _Does he like it? Is it challenging enough? Obviously he made at least one friend. We haven't heard about him getting into any serious trouble, just mouthing off to a teacher and getting in detention, but that's not as bad as last term..._

Searchlight started talking about school, classes, and the teachers and students he knew. He left out everything about Verdict and his friends, though.

Ravage came back from exploring the house. He considered jumping back up to my shoulders, but Keepsake beckoned him over, and to be polite he went and sat by her. He was being very well-behaved. I wondered how long that was going to last. Keepsake absentmindedly stroked the plating behind his audios and Ravage's engine purred happily.

When Searchlight was done talking, Keepsake turned to me. "Where did you get Ravage, Soundwave?"

 _Want me to say something?_ Searchlight wondered.

"Just a-at a sy-ymbiot shop," I said. "Though I think so-omeone had bro-ought hi-i-im in off the-e streets. They sho-ould have taken hi-i-im to a she-elter."

 _Good thing they didn't._ Keepsake thought. _I really think he's meant to be a fighting cat. He's just so big. They don't give the really dangerous ones a chance at shelters. Most of them are crazy anyway._ "Maybe. How long have you had him?" _He's very tame, though._

"I-I got hi-im when I was a vo-orn old."

"Oh." _He must have been significantly larger than you back then._ "Well, he's very well-mannered. I think he's built for fighting, though." _Powerful claws… that armor looks like he could flare it up and be about twice as large. Tail spikes… I wonder if anymech put him in symbiont fights before Soundwave got him. Probably not. He's too tame for that._

"I _am_ built for fighting," Ravage said. "And hunting."

Keepsake nodded. "I thought so."

"I don't much, anymore," Ravage said. He almost sounded wistful. "Soundwave will get in trouble if I attack anyone."

Keepsake raised an optic ridge. "That's very considerate of you to think of the consequences like that." _A lot of self-control too, and very loyal._ "So, why did Soundwave pick you, out of all the symbionts in that shelter." _It says a lot about a mech, how he picks a symbiont._

Ravage shrugged. _It was because of how scared I was. How scared the shopkeeper was of me. I remember that. They were going to kill me._

"I-I felt like I unde-erstood him," I said. "A-and he wa-as smart." I had been lonely. I'd needed a friend, not just a pet. And there had been something about him that reminded me of myself. No one had understood that he'd been just as afraid of them as they were of him.

Ravage decided he was done with the conversation and wandered off. He was bored, which was probably not a good sign, but I didn't want to call him back. I could hear the minds of several other symbionts in the house. Symbionts thought things more quietly so I wasn't sure where they were exactly. There were three, other than the sleepy-looking one on the table. One was terrified and hiding. It hadn't even seen us, but it didn't like new mecha. The other two were doing something in another room—playing some sort of game. I wasn't sure exactly what it involved, but they seemed to think Keepsake wouldn't approve, and were trying to be quiet about it.

Cam finished working with the broken device he'd been fixing. "So," he said. "Searchlight, what do you want to do for the rest of the orn?" _We could go watch a parade, but frankly, I hate crowds…_

"Well," Searchlight said. "You still owe me a rematch at Stealth."

"Ah, yes," Cam said.

"That board game can take joors," Keepsake said. "They probably want to go watch a parade." _That's what normal mechs do on Memorial orn._

"I-I don't re-e-eally like crowds," I put in.

"Neither do I," Cam said. "Do you like Stealth?"

I shrugged. "I have-en't played before." I realized that I didn't feel self-conscious about my stutter. Maybe it was because Keepsake and Cam didn't care. They noticed it, but Keepsake considered it unimportant and Cam was honestly just curious about it.

"He'll learn quickly," Searchlight said. "Trust me."

There was a sudden spike of emotions in the room at the end of the hall, and a dull thump. We'd all just looked up when Ravage came in, carrying a struggling symbiont in his mouth.

"Put me down! I'll rip you to pieces you rusty piece of scrap!"

Oh, great. Ravage had found a miniature Ratchet to play with.

"Rumble, please watch your words."

"What!" the symbiont protested. "This thing is going to _eat_ me and you tell me to…"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Another symbiont came careening around the corner and jumped on Ravage. Ravage dropped the first one and batted the second one off of his back, while the first one got up and lunged at Ravage's pede. They were both mech-shaped but both definitely symbionts.

It quickly turned into a wild, playful struggle in the middle of the room, which all three of them were enjoying immensely. Eventually, Ravage managed to pin both of them to the ground at once.

He let them up graciously, and they thanked him by jumping on him again. The game didn't end until one of them kicked Ravage in the optic, and he growled and flared his armor.

The two smaller symbionts backed away. Ravage relaxed again.

"Soundwave," Keepsake said. "This is Rumble and Frenzy. You two, this is Soundwave. He's here with us for Memorial Orn. So is Ravage, there."

"Ravage, huh?" Rumble said, looking back at my symbiont. Ravage nodded.

"Should have been called fat-aft rusty-tail."

I wondered if Ravage would be offended, but he just sat back. "You're just jealous I'm bigger than you."

"Why don't you have a face?" Frenzy asked me.

"Ha!" Rumble said. "That the best comeback, you got?"

"No," Ravage said. _But I'm not going to make Soundwave look bad by being rude._

"Rumble, mind your words or you'll go sit on the porch. Frenzy, it's not nice to ask personal questions like that," Keepsake said. Then she turned to me. "I'm so sorry, Soundwave. They're not normally…"

"Yes they are," Cam said. "They just came in off the streets a decaorn ago, and they're ill-mannered little monsters."

"Oh, yeah?" Rumble said. "Well you're an old rust-bucket."

"Rumble, this is your last warning," Keepsake said.

"What happened to your face?" Frenzy asked again.

"There wa-a-as an a-accident," I told him. "When I wa-as as sparkling."

"Why?" The word was out of his mouth before I had even finished talking. And I wasn't sure exactly what he meant by the question either.

"Uh…"

"Frenzy," Keepsake said, "Drop it."

"Why?"

"Can you two behave for one orn?" Cam said.

"Don't see the point."

"Why?"

"Shut up!" Rumble rounded on Frenzy.

"Why?"

"Because you're fragging annoying."

"You shut up."

"You shut up!"

Frenzy leaped at Rumble and knocked him to the ground. "Why!"

Rumble growled and they rolled on the ground, fighting, until Keepsake got up and pulled them apart.

"He bit me!" Frenzy complained.

"You jumped on him," Cam said flatly.

Searchlight grinned. _I kind of like them._

"I think you two need to calm down," Keepsake said. "Rumble, since you bit your brother, and were being rude, I'd like you to go sit on the front porch. Frenzy, stay here and apologize to Soundwave for being insensitive."

Rumble came up with a suitably nasty comeback for that, but he didn't say it out loud and when Keepsake set him down he obediently stomped away, muttering under his breath.

Frenzy watched him go, feeling suddenly lost. He took a step after Rumble, but Keepsake stopped hm. "Frenzy, remember what I asked you to do?"

"No. What?"

"Apologize to Soundwave."

He looked at me. _What did I do?_ "But I didn't do anything to him."

_You may have hurt his feelings. Now this is awkward, I don't want to try to explain to you about hurting mecha's feelings right now._

"He-e's fine," I said.

"See, he's fine," Frenzy said. "I mean, he said I'm fine… that don't make sense."

"Doesn't."

"Why?"

"Why what, Frenzy?"

Frenzy cocked his helm to the side. "I don't know… I mean, I doesn't know."

"That one's don't," Cam remarked.

"Oh," Frenzy said. _I'm confused. I wish Rumble would come back._ "How long does Rumble have to be on the porch?"

"Twenty breems," Keepsake said.

"Aw," Frenzy whined. "That's not fair." _Twenty whole breems?_

"It is fair. He needs to learn he has to be polite," Keepsake said.

Frenzy sighed. "But that's a _long_ time."

Keepsake smiled, softening a little. "Don't worry. If you're very well-behaved for the next ten breems I'll let you go out there and keep him company."

Cam turned a way to hide a smirk. _Somehow, I don't think hat will help Rumble calm down..._

"Okay," Frenzy perked up. "What do you want me to do? I could tidy the room…"

"No, that's all right. Just stand their quietly or go over and make friends with Ravage."

"All right," Frenzy said, then he shuttered his optics, and stood perfectly still. _Be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet._

"What are you doing?" Keepsake asked. _Silly, silly Frenzy…_

Frenzy cracked an optic open and shot Keepsake a suspicious look. _Don't think you can trick me like that. I'm not saying anything._

Cam sighed. "Well, at least it shut him up."

"Cam!" Keepsake said. "That was unkind."

Frenzy let out a little huffy vent. "Maybe you should make _him_ go sit on the porch."

"Maybe I should," Keepsake said.

"I owe you that board game," Cam said suddenly. "Come on, Searchlight, Soundwave." He stood, and led the way out of the room.

"Oh no," Frenzy said. "I talked. Can I try again, Keepsake?"

Keepsake smiled. "I didn't say you weren't allowed to talk. You can talk, so long as you do it nicely."

"Oh," Frenzy said, then tried to figure out what constituted nicely.

I followed Cam and Searchlight out of the room. "All right," Cam said, leading the way to the kitchen. "Searchlight, clear off the table and I'll go get the game."

The table was mostly clear already with one empty cube of energon sitting on it and an intricately wrought centerpiece that looked like it was partially made of living crystal.

Searchlight moved it to the counter and sat at the table. Cam came back with a thick cylinder, which he set down on the flat surface. It shifted, unfolding and transforming into a miniature landscape covered with colored markers.

"Oh," Cam said, "Looks like we had a game in progress." _Looks like I was winning too._

"We can start over," Searchlight said.

"You only say that because you were losing horribly."

"Well, Soundwave wants to play too."

"I-I could re-ead the rules whi-ile you fini-ished."

"There's an idea," Cam said. He tapped the side of the board and a little datapad slipped out of the center. Cam handed it to me. "The rules are on there. We might need to consult them once or twice, though.

I nodded and started reading. The object of the game was to get all of your pieces to a pre-determined location. In theory, it was a pretty straightforward strategy game. But I could see how it could get very complicated, especially if you had enough players. A rule came into question when Searchlight made a move Cam thought was illegal. The board let you disobey the rules, though it would answer questions about them. It only did that, though, if the gameplay files were in the board, which they weren't. I was reading them.

I skimmed through and found the rule in question.

By the time the game was done, I knew everything well enough that I thought I could play. They reset the board. Ravage came into the kitchen and leaped up onto my shoulders to watch, feeling a little bored.

 _We'll have to go easy on him since it's his first time,_ Cam thought.

_Soundwave, you're going to devastate him. We should work together. I haven't won this game since… well, actually I don't think I've ever beat Cam when he wasn't letting me._

We started the game. Neither of them really had a chance. I could hear their strategies—the reasons behind every turn. It helped teach me the rules and gameplay, and before the game was a fourth of the way through, I'd developed a strategy of my own. I pretended I was helping Searchlight block Cam, while all the time sneaking my pieces closer to their goal.

Cam figured it out after a while, and decided going easy on me had been the wrong course of action.

"I see what you're doing there."

I shrugged.

"What?" Searchlight asked, looking down at the board. "Who's doing what?"

"Don't trust him, Searchlight, he's going to turn on you."

"'Course he is…" Searchlight said, still trying to figure out what it was I was doing.

It was my turn. I moved a piece forward into formation with the others, making it clear what my intentions were.

After that the game changed, and the two of them teamed up and tried to block me. I had an advantage in that I knew what they were going to do before they did it, but even so with both of them working together it was difficult for me to stay ahead.

In the end, I did win.

"Good job," Cam said, looking down at the board. "You sure you haven't played this before?" _I haven't been beaten in a long time._

I nodded.

"I told you he'd be great," Searchlight said _It's not fair, really._

Frenzy came running into the room. At some point during the game, Ravage had left and gone to talk to Keepsake. Now, he and the other symbionts were playing hide and seek. At least, he and Rumble and Frenzy were. The other two—the floppy-eared one and the shy one—had opted not to participate.

Frenzy climbed up onto the counter and hid behind a tall, decorative-looking jar.

"Frenzy," Cam said. _What is he doing?_

"Shhhh!" Frenzy hissed.

"But…"

"Hush!"

Ravage padded quietly into the room, alert and hunting. He seemed to think Rumble was in here somewhere. He walked by Frenzy's hiding place.

"Sneak attack!" Frenzy shouted, jumping off the counter to land on Ravage.

Ravage hissed and batted him away, then pounced on him, pinning him to the ground. "The point of the _game,_ " he growled, "Is to _hide._ And I'll come find you."

Frenzy snickered.

"You just lost," Ravage informed him. _Now I have to go find Rumble._ He turned and walked away.

Frenzy got up and followed him out of the room.

"What was that?" Cam said.

"Hide and se-eek," I said. "I think."

Searchlight and Cam glanced at each other, then burst out laughing.

Keepsake came in. "Is your game done? What's so funny?"

"That…" Cam gasped. "That symbiont…"

"Which one?"

"Frenzy."

Searchlight was still too helpless with laughter to say anything.

Keepsake rolled her optics and sat at the table. "What did he do?"

They explained what had happened, and Keepsake smiled and shook her helm, and then Cam insisted on a rematch, which he was determined to win. Searchlight opted out of the game, but stayed to watch. Keepsake left and came back with the timid symbiont. She was also cat-shaped, but very small, and she was terrified of everything in general.

"Poor thing," Keepsake said. "She's been sick, so I brought her here to recover, but Rumble and Frenzy terrified her last off-cycle, and I think she's still feeling a little traumatized."

That really didn't surprise me.

Cam and I played again. It was a long, hard battle that ended in a draw. Part of why it took so long was that there was a lot of talking in between turns. Even I put in a few words here and there. By the end of the game, my stutter was starting to get pretty bad, but I didn't care.

* * *

We had to leave early in the evening to catch the mass transit so we could get back to school before lights out. Ravage was sad to leave Rumble and Frenzy. Despite finding them kind of annoying, he enjoyed playing with them. He also enjoyed feeling like he was the smartest in the group.

The walk to the transit station and the ride were hard on my processor because of the crowds. Searchlight noticed that and tried to get us back to the school quickly.

Once there, things were quieter. Most of the students and teachers were out in the city, waiting for the traditional fireworks to start.

"You okay?" Searchlight asked as we walked through the empty hallways. "You've got a processor ache, don't you?"

I shrugged. "I-It's no-ot that bad."

"For real, or are you just saying that."

I shrugged. It could definitely be worse.

"That was fun," Ravage said. "I like your creators, Searchlight."

"Thanks," Searchlight said. "I like them too."

"I hope we go back there sometime," Ravage said.

We got to Searchlight's room. Strangely, the door was open, and the lights were on, but it was empty. Where was Ratchet?

Searchlight frowned as he walked in, then froze. Ratchet's chair was on its side, and there was a datapad with a cracked screen lying on the floor next to it. _What the...?_

"Where's Ratchet?" Ravage asked.

My spark sank.

"Scrap," Searchlight said. _The bullies._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my headcanon, there are certain systems Cybertronians have that you can't really repair. Faceplates are one of them. Not only is the mechanism they use for expressions very complex, but the metal itself is irreplaceable. If you've seen TFP, you know there's no way their faces are made of normal metal. In order to move the way they do, the metal has to be a particular alloy that is nearly impossible to make or find (except on dead people, but that's just wrong) and if you did manage to get some, it wouldn't do you any good because if it's not connected to a living Cybertronian it stiffens after a short period of time and won't re-connect. When you're sparked, the protoform that becomes your frame makes a faceplate for you, and you have to keep that faceplate your whole life. If it gets damaged, it can sometimes be repaired, but otherwise there's not much you can do. Unless, of course, you can find another living Cybertronian who is willing to sell you their faceplate. It's not that common, but there's always people who are really desperate for money.


	11. The Roof

"We need to find him,” Searchlight said. _You'd think the bullies would go home for the holiday, not hang around here… I wonder if Ratchet's just… no, he wouldn't leave a mess like this. How long ago did this happen? They could have stuffed him in a closet or something joors ago. What a way to spend Memorial Orn._ "Soundwave, can you find him?"

I took a deep vent and expanded my range to look for him. He'd probably be scared or frustrated. I felt out hallways and classrooms, but none of the processors there were his. I couldn't find Verdict and his friends either. Where were they?

I expanded my range farther, wincing as it grew to include some of the nearby streets and the crowds there.

Then I found him.

I looked up. "Se-e-earchli-ight…"

"What? Where is he?"

"Co-o-ome," I stumbled to the door. Searchlight and Ravage followed. "Ra-a-avage sta-ay he-ere."

"No," Ravage said.

"Ye-es." I pointed into the room.

Ravage hesitated, then ex-vented. _Fine, but if they've hurt him, I'll rip them to pieces, whether or not we get in trouble for it._

That was why he was staying here. The door closed behind us and I looked back and forth, trying to decide which way would be the fastest.

"Where is he?" Searchlight asked.

I went left and he hurried to follow me. "The-e-e-e roof."

"What!" Searchlight said.

No cameras up there. Nobody up there watching. They could do whatever they wanted to him.

Searchlight took the lead and I followed. It was hard to focus on the situation with so many voices vying for my attention.

We ran to the classroom wing and up flights of stairs. As we moved, my range moved, and I heard less noise as we put distance between us and the crowds below.

Ratchet was frightened and in pain, cowering as Motormaster loomed over him menacingly. Jazz and Verdict watched the roof access door, waiting for us. They'd seen us come into the building on the cameras and knew we would be looking for Ratchet soon. They wanted to see if we could find them.

We were venting hard at the second-to-last flight and we stopped at the top of it.

 _He's up there,_ Searchlight thought. _Are Verdict and them still up there too?_

I nodded.

"Pit."

I nodded again.

We went up the last flight of stairs and burst out onto the roof. The stars were just coming out.

Verdict and Jazz pushed away from the railing and Motormaster grabbed Ratchet's arm and pulled him to his pedes. He whimpered as pain flared in his leg.

"Let him go," Searchlight said. _If you've hurt him… if you've hurt him…_

"Glad ya could join us," Jazz said. "Knew ya'd show up eventually."

 _We've got you now, don't we?_ Verdict grinned.

 _I'm sorry,_ Ratchet thought. _I'm sorry, Soundwave, I'm sorry._

"I said let him go," Searchlight growled.

"Motormaster," Verdict said.

Motormaster lifted Ratchet up and calmly held him out over the railing. Ratchet gasped as there was suddenly nothing but four stories of atmosphere between him and the ground.

"No…" Searchlight took half a step forward.

"You really want us to let him go?" Verdict asked.

"It's not funny," Searchlight said. "This is not funny. If you drop him he'll die. Bring him back over the roof."

Motormaster smiled. _He'll shatter on the ground. Little shards of metal and a sticky pool of energon._

"Sure it's funny," Verdict said.

 _He's not actually going to do it,_ Jazz thought, looking at Motormaster.

"Not if you drop him," Searchlight said. _What do I do? Oh, Primus…_ "Give him back."

"We want to know how you three have been avoiding us," Verdict said. "And we don't want any fragging nonsense about Soundwave reading minds."

Searchlight froze.

 _I'm sorry,_ Ratchet thought. _I told them, I told them…_

"Or…" Verdict said, then trailed off. _He looks shocked._

 _He looks surprised,_ Jazz thought. _But not confused… it can't be the truth, can it?_

Motormaster almost dropped Ratchet, who cried out and reached up with his free hand to clutch at Motormasters fingers, sobbing desperately.

"So start talking," Verdict said, feeling a little less sure of himself.

 _What do we do? I can't believe he told them… but…_ "I'll talk when Ratchet's back on the roof. He's not involved in this. Let him go."

"Sure thing," Motormaster raised Ratchet higher.

 _Call him off, Verdict…_ Jazz thought, starting to worry a little.

"Put him down on the roof," Verdict said.

Motormaster was a little disappointed. He brought Ratchet over solid ground again and dropped him. Ratchet hit the roof with a clang and collapsed, still sobbing.

"So start talking."

"However we did it," Searchlight said. "You know that's not the real problem. I'm the one you're after."

"Hang him back over the roof," Verdict growled. "I said tell me what I want to know, not start feeding me slag."

Ratchet tried to get up and run, but his leg collapsed underneath him. Motormaster picked him up and dangled him over the edge again. He looked up at us, optics glowing slightly in the dim light.

_Help me, please, he's going to drop me, Primus, he's going to drop me, Primus, I'm going to die…_

"Stop," Searchlight said. "Just listen, just listen, you've caught me now, all right, you've caught me. Soundwave and Ratchet weren't standing up to you before I came. They aren't really a part of this. It ought to be me you're dangling over that edge."

Verdict narrowed his optics.

Jazz frowned at Motormaster, then crossed his arms and tilted his helm to the side. "Are ya offerin' a trade, Searchlight?"

 _Oh,_ Verdict thought, reconsidering Searchlight's words.

"Yes." Searchlight couldn't keep the relief from his voice, though that hadn't been quite what he'd meant. "Yes, I'm fragging offering a trade." _Please, please just bring him back over the roof._

 _He's not wrong about what he said,_ Verdict thought.

 _Hey, Soundwave, can you hear me?_ Jazz wondered.

I didn't move.

"I think I could agree to that," Verdict said. "Motormaster, give the little sparkling back."

Motormaster picked Ratchet up and tossed him over to us. He hit the roof, rolled, and then came to a stop, trembling.

"Soundwave," Searchlight said. "Take him and get out of here. Take him to Ochre."

I looked at Searchlight, who was watching the bullies warily. _Go… go, what's wrong with you?_ He glanced at me. _Get out of here before they change their minds._ "It's okay," he said. _I'll be okay, it's going to be fine, just get Ratchet out of here._

"No!" Ratchet said, struggling to get to his pedes.

_Please, Soundwave._

I stepped forward and bent down to pick Ratchet up.

"No…" Ratchet said again.

He was heavy but I was used to having Ravage on my shoulders. Ratchet was in shock and his thoughts were panicked and shaky, but he recognized I wasn't a threat, and let me pick him up. His leg was bent and twisted and leaking a little, and there was a deep dent on one of his shoulder plates as well. I headed through the door and down the stairs.

I felt awful leaving Searchlight there. My range was large enough at the moment that I couldn't miss it when they started hitting him. Searchlight fought back at first, but that didn't last long.

"Soundwave…" Ratchet whispered as I carried him down the stairs. _I'm sorry. They're going to kill him and I told them and it's my fault…_

"It's o-o-okay-y," I told him. My processor hurt.

"We have to go back for Searchlight."

Not yet. I kept going.

"We can't just leave him there, we can't, we _can't!_ "

"I-I kno-o-ow." I said. I'd go back for him, but first I needed to get Ratchet to a medic. His leg hurt worse than my processor ache.

We went down another flight of stairs. Ochre's office was on the ground floor, in the administration wing.

She was here, thankfully. Busy seeing a patient, but here.

I ran down another flight of stairs. The longer it took, the more time they had with Searchlight. I could tell a teacher. I _should_ tell a teacher, but because of the holiday, there weren't very many around. Cablereach wasn't here, and in the time it would take for me to explain the situation and convince the teacher to come, Searchlight could be very badly hurt. I had recorded a video of them dangling Ratchet over the edge, and I could use that as evidence against them, but I'd have to deal with the current situation first and on my own.

I felt Motormaster slam Searchlight into the railing. Hard.

I reached the bottom of the stairs. One more to go.

"You're going to go back for him, right?" Ratchet asked. "Tell a teacher. They'll stop them."

I nodded.

"Okay," Ratchet said. He was trying hard not to cry. "Primus… Primus…I'm sorry," he said. "I promised I wouldn't tell anyone... and then I told them."

I was close enough to pick up the crowds now, so talking would be practically impossible, and I couldn’t assure him it was okay. There would be fireworks soon. Everyone was excited.

I got to the bottom of the last flight of stairs and stumbled into the wall. Ratchet's leg got pinned between me and the stairwell when I had to push off of it to keep my balance. He screamed.

"So-o-orry-y," I said. So sorry.

 _It's okay,_ he thought.

I ran down the halls and burst into Ochre's office.

"…why you can't just sneak in there and steal the supplies to make your own fireworks, you little…" she trailed off as I set Ratchet down.

"What happened to him?" she demanded. Her other patient stared with wide optics at us.

Ratchet could explain. I had to go. I turned and sprinted out of the office again. I paid attention as Ratchet stumbled and Ochre caught him and set him up on a berth. It was a little hard to pick up their thoughts because of the crowd. It was a good thing the school was so empty or I'd never be able to do this. I had maybe forty or fifty mecha in my helm, including those who were in the school. But soon students would start coming back for the off-cycle, and then I'd be in serious trouble. My range right now would cover almost the whole school if I stood right in the middle on the second or third floor. It was already shrinking, though. The farther I pushed it out, the faster it came back, fortunately.

I went up the stairs again, stumbling so many times I lost count. I didn't have time to find a teacher.

But I didn't need one.

By the time I'd gotten to the top floor of the building, Searchlight was covered in dents and scratches, and I was suspicious that he had moderate internal injuries as well.

Motormater slammed him into the ground again and again. And then he noticed the teacher signal. He dropped Searchlight and stood.

I started walking up the last flight of stairs, to the roof access door.

"Scrap," Verdict said. "A teacher." _What do we do?_ He looked at Jazz. "Jazz, we have to get off this roof…" _We're trapped up here. If Soundwave went and got a teacher..._

Jazz just frowned. _This happens every time. Every time, Soundwave ditches then miraculously comes back with a teacher. But… I've never actually seen the teacher._

"Jazz!"

Jazz grinned. "Nah, mech, it's all right." He looked at the roof access door.

I froze, halfway up the stairs.

"Come on out, Stutter!"

Searchlight got to his hands and knees and looked up.

I opened the door and stepped out onto the roof.

_No, Soundwave, I told you to go…_

"Well, look what came faithfully back." Jazz smirked, feeling relieved. He'd been getting a little worried, though he was almost certain Verdict would call Motormaster off before Searchlight was _too_ badly hurt.

Verdict looked up and narrowed his optics.

"It's just been you, every time with the teacher signal,hasn't it?" Jazz said. "I don't know how ya figured that out, though." _We never told anyone about that. We kept it completely secret. Unless you really can read minds…_

"Really?" Verdict stepped forward. _How did he figure that out? No one can know about that. We'll have to threaten him with something to keep him quiet._

"Guess so," Jazz said. "So what brings ya back up here? Ya don't think you're gonna be able to stop us, do ya?"

I didn't trust my voice. I didn't move.

 _Creepy glitch._ Verdict thought.

I could work with that.

I borrowed Searchlight's words from earlier, playing a few moments of audio recording. "Let him go."

They stared at me.

 _As if._ "You can join him if you want." Verdict said.

I played the recording again. "Let him go."

 _Or?_ Jazz thought.

I didn't respond. He was fishing, trying to get me to hint at whether I could hear him thinking.

"What if I don't _want_ to let him go?" Verdict asked. _I'm not going to make another trade. You're not worth it. Without this mech, you're just another hopeless loser._

_Soundwave, get out of here._

I played the video footage I had recorded of Motormaster holding Ratchet over the edge on my screen. I could show it to the teachers—to the headmaster. The camera turned and you could see the other two as well, and hear them talking.

Jazz and Verdict both got the point.

"I-If y-you let him go-o-o, I-I won't sho-o-ow a-anyo-one."

Verdict glared at me.

"Not good enough," Jazz said. _He could just use it to blackmail us in the future._ "You gotta delete it."

"Fi-i-ine,"

"I want to see you delete it," Verdict said. _And then as soon as he has, we'll catch him too. We are not going to lose this one. We're going to show them both who owns this school._

This wasn't going to work. I took a deep vent. "Tha-a-at's no-ot the only-y-y thi-i-i-ing," I said.

"Sorry," Jazz said. "Couldn't quite understand that."

He'd understood just fine. "Ve-erdict and Motorma-a-a-aster bo-o-oth che-eated o-o-on the-e entra-a-ance exams. A-a-and Ja-a-azz is hacki-i-i-ing mo-ore than just the-e ca-ame-e-eras. I-I-I ha-ave plenty to-o-o ge-e-e ge-e ge-et y-you all expe-e-elle-ed. Ma-aybe eve-en a-a-arreste-ed."

 _How can he know all that?_ Verdict wondered. _He couldn't have guessed it._

"No, ya don't," Jazz said. "If ya did, you'd have used it already." _He must not be able to prove it. Of course, if your evidence comes from something you don't want anymech to know about…_

"Soundwave…" Searchlight said, then coughed a couple of times and spat out a mouthful of energon.

"I-I-I can fi-ind wa-ays to pro-o-ove it. Le-et him go-o-o."

Jazz's optics widened a little. _Was that a coincidence or did he just answer that thought?_

Verdict looked down at Searchlight. _How does Soundwave know all that? This is not good. We can't let them go when they know so much, what do we do?_ "And what's to stop you telling everyone after we let him go?"

"He tells anyone," Jazz said, "And we tell them he can read minds."

"What?" Verdict asked.

"Don't…" Searchlight said.

"It's true, ain't it?" Jazz asked.

"How dumb are you?" Verdict said. "You actually believe the youngling?" _It can't be true._

"It makes sense," Jazz said. "How he'd be able to evade us. How he'd know all that stuff."

Searchlight shook his helm. _You're making a mistake, Soundwave._

Jazz looked at me. _If you want us to let him go you're gonna have ta prove it._

I nodded.

"Verdict," Jazz said. "Ask him questions in your processor."

Verdict looked at me. _What makes you so sure I cheated on the entrance exams?_

I borrowed Jazz's voice. "It's true, ain't it?"

_You can't prove it._

"I-I ca-a-an fi-ind a way."

Verdict took a half-step back, optics widening. _It's really true. Oh, Pit, no… everything we think._ "I'll… I'll tell my creators about you. I'll tell the headmaster… they'll get rid of you!" _He's a freak, he really is a freak is he listening right now, STAY OUT OF MY HELM!_

Jazz was a little bit calmer. _You really did hear everything. We're gonna have to fix that somehow. If we can find a way to prove that you can read minds... they'd study you, wouldn't they? Cut you up to find out how you worked… slag._

Motormaster just stared for a few moments, horror churning in his tanks. Then he stepped toward me. _I'll kill him before he does anything._

It took all the self control I had to stand my ground.

"Motormaster!" Verdict said.

Motormaster stopped. "Let's solve this problem now," he said.

"No," Verdict said. _He'll get away. It's too dangerous. He knows everything. We can't do it like this…_ He seemed to regain control of himself. _The only way to stop them would be to offline them, but we can't do that._ "Okay," he said. "Jazz?" _What do we do?_

Jazz met my gaze "Here's the deal. Ya delete that video, we'll leave. Ya don't tell anyone anything ya know about us, and we won't tell them about you. For now." _It would be hard for him to prove anything without telling them about the mind reading. And it would be hard for us to prove he can read minds. No one would believe us. I still barely believe it._

"Okay," Verdict said. _Some orn, I'll get him back, though. Some orn, I'll find a way to tell someone without him retaliating. I'll find some evidence, or someone who'll listen to me…_ "Deal?"

I nodded, but dread settled deep into my spark.

"Come on." Verdict took a few steps toward me, then stopped. He didn't want to come any closer to me. "Want to get out of the way?"

I stepped away from the doorway and Verdict left the roof, followed closely by the other two. Jazz paused at the top of the stairs, looking back at me. _One more thing, Stutter._

I brought up the video on my screen again, and then deleted it. They left.

As soon as they were gone, I hurried over to Searchlight.

"That was so stupid, mech," Searchlight said as I helped him to his pedes. He groaned as things shifted inside of him in ways that they shouldn't have.

I looked at him, then played back part of the earlier conversation. I still had some of the audio files. "Soundwave, take him and get out of here."

That had been just as stupid.

Searchlight grimaced. "Point taken. But really…" he looked down. "They know now. What if they tell someone?" _what happens to you?_

They wouldn't. And, like Jazz had thought, even if they did they'd have a hard time convincing anyone it was true. In any case, now was not the time to worry about that. I ducked under Searchlight's arm and supported him over to the top of the stairs. There was no way I could carry him like I had Ratchet, so we made our way slowly, painfully down the steps.

"But thank you for coming back," Searchlight said. "I just…" _I can't believe they would go after Ratchet like that._

I came back in range of the crowds.

_And then you had to show up again and tell them about your abilities. This is really bad, Soundwave._

I knew. But right now I needed to get Searchlight to Ochre, and I had a multitude of thoughts and images of fireworks in my processor, coming from the crowds around the school.

I stumbled halfway down the next flight and just barely managed to catch the railing before both of us tumbled. We went more slowly after that.

"You okay?" Searchlight asked. _He didn't get hurt, did he?_

"I-I-I ha-ad to e-e-expan-nd my-y range."

_When? Oh, to find Ratchet… I'm sorry._

We started down the next flight. I'd be fine. _He_ was the one with injuries.

_I wonder how long they were up there waiting for us. How long did they have Ratchet?_

We could ask him when we got down there.

_Is he all right?_

I nodded. He was traumatized, but he was doing better now, and Ochre was almost done straightening out his leg.

The rest of the journey down to the first floor was a blur. Searchlight was mostly walking on his own by then, which was a good thing because I was having trouble keeping my pedes under me.

Ochre looked up when I came in.

 _Not someone else…_ "Who… oh, my, _another_ one, Soundwave." She rushed over. "You come here." She dragged Searchlight over to a berth and he sat down with a grimace.

"So," she said as she scanned him. "Ouch… I might need to refer you to another medic. I'm not cleared for fixing internal injuries like this. It's not that terrible, though it probably hurts... what _happened_?"

"Searchlight…" Ratchet said.

"I'm fine," Searchlight replied.

"I want to know what happened," Ochre said. "None of you three are leaving this office until I know the truth. What is going on?"

 _If neither of you want to tell her, I will,_ Ratchet thought. _I'll leave out the stuff about mind-reading._

I nodded, just enough for him to see it.

"It was Verdict, Motormaster, and Jazz," Ratchet said.

 _Oh,_ Ochre thought, _Them… they have to stop this._

"They dragged me up to the roof because they've been after Searchlight and they knew he'd come to rescue me. They held me off the edge of the roof like they were going to drop me…" he trailed off, shuddering.

"Primus…" Ochre said. "Is that true?"

"Yeah," Searchlight said.

I nodded.

Ochre huffed. "I can't _believe_ that. It was them before, wasn't it? When you said you'd fallen down the stairs? Why didn't you say something?"

"Verdict's creators get him out of trouble," Ratchet said.

Ochre looked down. _No. Not anymore. This is not acceptable._ "Not this time." _But first I have work to do._ "Thank you, Soundwave. You can leave or stay, whichever you like." She scanned Searchlight again. I saw the results as they flashed across her processor. "Can you give me a moment, Searchlight? I'm almost done with Ratchet, and besides I want to take you to a real medic. I'm only a nurse after all."

"Okay," Searchlight said.

Ochre nodded, then used her internal comm. as she walked over to Ratchet again.

 _"Hey, Ochre."_ The mech she'd contacted said.

_"Hey, I'd like some transportation for an injured fledgling… he's not in critical condition, he's just a little beyond my abilities."_

_"The roads are all blocked up because of Memorial Orn."_

_"Oh, right… can you get… never mind. I'll figure it out. Thanks."_

_"If you can't find any other way, comm. me again."_

_"I will. Thank you," s_ he ended the comm. She was working on Ratchet's leg again, popping out the last few dents, as she called another friend.

_"Hi, Flag, I'm at my work and I have a fledgling here with some mild internal injuries. There some way you can get here?"_

_"How bad is it?"_

She described Searchlight's injuries. I tried not to pay attention. I _really_ didn't want to be a medic. She finished with Ratchet's leg and scanned him one more time. "You can go, Ratchet. Physically, you're fine now. Are you going to be all right though? I don't think the school councilor's here right now but…"

"You should go let Ravage know we're all right," Searchlight said.

Right. Ravage was… I couldn't hear him. He was just barely out of my range. But the last time I'd been in range of him, he'd been pacing Searchlight's room, anxious.

Searchlight shifted, then winced.

"You hold still," Ochre said, then felt sorry for her tone. "Just hold still," she repeated, gentler this time.

"He's going to be all right?" Ratchet asked.

Ochre nodded. "Absolutely."

 _Fragging idiot._ Ratchet thought. _'No, Soundwave, you and Ratchet leave me here with the bullies. I'll be fine…' he and Soundwave shouldn't have come for me in the first place… they came for me, Primus we were up there for joors. I thought nobody was coming and they were just going to get bored and leave me there or knock me out or throw me off the roof. They wouldn't believe me when I told them Soundwave could read minds…_ He looked up at me. _I'm really, really sorry._

I shrugged, wishing I had an 'it's okay,' saved. I did, but it was from Searchlight telling me to leave him on the roof. While that was kind of appropriate, I didn't want to make him feel worse about it.

"Searchlight's probably going to be here all off-cycle," Ochre said. "But I promise he will be all right. You two should go before lights-out."

"Okay," Ratchet said, then slipped off the end of the berth. He sucked in a pained vent as he hit the ground on his recently-straightened leg.

"Be careful," Ochre said. "Soundwave, would you make sure he gets back to his room…" she scanned me and found nothing wrong except for pain readings from my processor ache.

She frowned. "Why does your processor hurt?"

I shrugged.

"He gets processor aches sometimes," Searchlight said.

"From what?"

I shrugged again.

"If it doesn't go away in a joor, come back here and I'll give you something for it." _I'll have a real medic here anyway. He might know something about your stutter._ "In fact, come back in a joor in any case. Just make sure Ratchet gets to his room."

Ratchet was grateful that Ochre had sent me with him. He jumped at every shadow and expected to see the bullies around every corner.

As we got close to his room, I could sense Ravage, still pacing back and forth in front of the door, restless and afraid. I felt suddenly sorry for leaving him there.

I also felt suddenly worried that he'd jump on Ratchet. I didn't think Ratchet could handle that right now.

I stepped in front of him and opened the door. Ravage looked up, alarmed for a moment before he recognized the two of us. He backed up as we came in and Ratchet closed the door behind himself. "Don't even think about it," he said to Ravage.

"Where's Searchlight?" Ravage asked.

"He's in Ochre's office," Ratchet said, then started limping toward his berth.

"What happened?" Ravage growled. "They hurt you, didn't they?"

"I'm… I'm…" _I won't be able to recharge for orns._ He shuddered. "It's okay." _They hurt me until I told them Soundwave could read minds… and then they didn't stop. Primus, I didn't finish my homework either._ Somehow, that was the last straw, and he sank to his knees and covered his faceplate with his hands.

"Ratchet?" Ravage approached him.

"I was so scared…" Ratchet said. "Primus, I thought I was going to die…"

Ravage padded over and curled up protectively around Ratchet. Ratchet shuddered again, but didn't push the symbiont away. After a breem he was able to collect himself.

"I'm okay," he said quietly, and started to get up.

"No," Ravage said.

Ratchet stopped, then sat down again and wrapped his arms around his knees. Ravage curled around him more tightly. They sat like that for several breems.

"I need to do homework," Ratchet mumbled at length. _I didn't have time to finish._

"Fine." Ravage got up, and followed as Ratchet limped over and picked up the broken datapad on the floor then stood, looking hopelessly at the knocked-over chair. _I give up._ He sat back down on the floor and Ravage curled around him again as he turned on the datapad. The screen lit up, and you could even sort of read the file it was open to, so he leaned back and started his homework. I offlined my screen and waited in darkness, wishing my range would shrink faster. It was already getting smaller, and I couldn't hear anyone outside the school anymore, but more students were showing up now.

Lights-out came and went. I slipped into recharge, opting not to go back down and get looked at by another medic.

* * *

Ratchet recharged as well still sitting on the floor, comforted by Ravage's presence.

My systems booted up when Searchlight came in. He tried to be quiet, but I woke anyway. He looked at me guiltily when I sat up in his chair.

"Hi," he whispered. "Sorry. Go back to recharging."

I checked the time. It was nearly dawn and I had class in three joors.

"They didn't want to let me leave," Searchlight said. "But I'm fine, just tired. Oh, and I don't have to go to classes next orn. Tell Jazz hi for me in history." He lay down on his berth, feeling stiff and sore, but all right. I turned my screen off again and leaned back but had a difficult time recharging. I had a horrible processor ache that probably wasn't going to be gone by the time I had to go to class.

And that was the least of my problems.


	12. Evidence

There was a quiet ping on the teacher's internal comm. from Graycharter. He barely paused in his lecture as he answered silently. _"Yes?"_

_"Would you send Soundwave to my office?"_

_Oh, dear. I wonder what he’s done this time. "All right."_

_"Thank you."_

_"Of course."_

The teacher stopped. "Soundwave, would you please go to the headmaster's office? He'd like to speak with you."

The room suddenly filled with silent questions about why I was being sent there and what I had done. I got up and walked to the door, hen slipped out into the hallway. This was almost certainly about what had happened last off-cycle on the roof. My range was back to normal now, though I still had a processor ache, and I was exhausted. As I approached the headmaster's office my anxiety grew. The bullies were also there, and Ochre.

The door opened for me and I entered the large office. Ratchet was here too, though Searchlight wasn't. He was probably still recharging.

"Welcome," the headmaster said. "I hear you were involved in what happened last off-cycle."

 _If you tell him anything, you'll be sorry,_ Verdict thought.

I nodded because the Headmaster was waiting for a response.

"So," the headmaster said. "Would you mind relating the events in your own words?" I picked up that Ratchet had already told his side of the story. But they wanted a second witness to confirm it.

"What makes you so sure he'll tell the truth, sir?" Verdict said. "Doesn't he cheat on tests and things? Why would _he_ tell the truth?"

The headmaster ignored him. "Just tell us what happened," he said to me.

I was going to have to talk. "We-e…" I wished I could tell Ratchet to think about what he'd said to the headmaster, so that I didn't accidentally contradict his story. "we-ere go-one for the-e-e orn, and whe-en we ca-ame ba-ack, Ratche-et was mi-issi-ing."

The bullies wanted me to lie, but I'd never promised I wouldn't tell on them about this. I was terrified by their mental threats, but for once the fact that no one could see my expression worked to my advantage. "We-e-e found hi-im and the-em," I gestured to the bullies. "On the-e roo-oof."

"How did you know to look there?"

More questions. Oh, how I loved answering questions. "We-e looked eve-ery-y-y… e-everywhe-ere."

The Headmaster wasn't so sure about that answer, but thankfully, he decided not to press the issue. He nodded. "Very well. Continue."

I took in a deep vent. "The-ey held hi-im ove-er the edge o-of the roof, and thre-eatene-ed to drop hi-i-im."

"We did not!" Verdict said. "How could you think we'd do something like that?" _You're dead, Soundwave._

"They did," Ratchet said, memories flashing through his processor of the wind and the far away ground.

The Headmaster believed us, but he wanted more evidence. "Did any of you happen to record this?" He looked at me. _I know he's got an integrated recording device. Some of the others might too…_

 _If you still have that video… if you show it to him… I'll expose you._ Verdict thought, glaring at me.

I shook my helm.

"You didn't video it?"

I shook my helm again.

_I suppose it's understandable, if he was panicked in the moment, but I wish he'd had the presence of mind to… oh well…_

_He's not going to punish them, is he?_ "Graycharter," Ochre said. "Are you really going to let this slide? You _know_ it was them. They do this sort of thing all the time while you turn a blind optic. That youngling _could have been offlined!_ " she pointed at Ratchet.

The headmaster turned to look at the bullies. "This is true," he said. "Motormaster, do you understand how serious this is? Putting someone's life in danger isn't a game."

 _I wanted to see him fall…_ Motormaster shrugged. _But I wouldn't have. They lock you up if you kill someone._ "I wouldn't have… I mean, it wasn't me. I didn't hold anyone over the edge of the roof."

 _Great going, Motor,_ Jazz thought.

"There have been multiple accusations brought up against you. This was witnessed by three other students. Do not lie to me. I want to know once and for all if this is true." _I need them to admit it._ "Or I will start doing a detailed search of your records and look for more evidence." _If they don't admit to this, I'm not sure what to do. We haven't really been able to pin anything on them—no teacher's ever actually caught them hurting any of the other students… That must be because of those devices Cablereach told me about, but once again, we have no evidence of that either… he wouldn't even tell me which student had brought that information to him…_

The bullies looked at each other. Then Verdict nodded and addressed the headmaster.

"My creators will hear about it if you start trying to find excuses to expel me."

The headmaster frowned. _Did he just… threaten me?_

"Even if we _had_ dangled someone off of a roof—which we didn't—we haven't hurt anyone."

"Actually," Ochre said, "That student you dangled over the edge had substantial and painful injuries on his leg and there was another who was barely conscious when Soundwave brought him in. It took a professional medic joors to fix him."

"But ya don't have proof it was us that did it." Jazz said. _I really, really don't want to get expelled. I can't go back to public school. I think I'd die of boredom._

 _No, we don't, but you did it, didn't you?_ "But you did it." Ochre said.

Jazz shook his helm. "No we didn't. Ya can't prove we did because it wasn't us."

"Then how did they sustain those injuries?"

Jazz shrugged. "Beats me."

"But we do know it was you," the headmaster said.

The bullies were all quiet.

 _Unfortunately they aren't going to admit it. And unless they admit it, I don't have real grounds._ "I could expel you for this, you know."

Verdict met his gaze. _If you expel me, my creators will shut your sad little school down._

"For what?" Jazz asked.

"For dangling another student off the roof. And stop trying to tell me it wasn't you who injured them. I have eyewitnesses."

"Eyewitnesses who could be lying," Jazz said.

"I would recommend that you stop talking, Jazz." _If you push me too far…_

"What do you mean you _could_ expel them?" Ochre asked. "You have to expel them for this. They put another student's life in danger _on purpose!_ "

"But you can't prove we hurt anybody," Verdict said.

"That depends on what you mean by prove. I have plenty of proof, if I decide to believe the other students involved. In any case, this argument is pointless."

Silence fell.

_His creators donate generously to the school. We can't afford to lose their support. I'm sure if we had evidence, they would understand, but they're probably going to believe him over me._

_He can't kick us out. He wouldn't…_

_Soundwave, I hope you know things aren't going to go well for you if we get expelled,_ Jazz thought. _You might want to think about helping us out here._

 _He has to expel them. This is absolutely ridiculous. I can't believe he's considering letting them go—he_ knows _they did this._

The chatter in the room was always louder when no one was talking.

"I need some time to make my decision," the headmaster said. "Ratchet, you can go back to class. Verdict, Jazz, Motormaster, please wait outside my office. Ochre, you too. I still have a few questions for Soundwave."

 _Not fair,_ Verdict thought. _Soundwave, you know what will happen if you tell him anything._

They left the room.

"There are some things," the headmaster said once they were gone, "That don't add up in everyone's stories. I was wondering if you could tell me more about what happened? What happened when you went back for Searchlight?" _What did he say to them to convince them to let Searchlight go? Why did they take Ratchet up onto the roof in the first place, and how did the other two really know they were up there?_

I looked down. If I just invented a story, it probably wouldn't match up with everyone else's story. The headmaster would know I was lying. He already didn't trust me, because of the whole cheating thing.

If I said nothing, it would make me look guilty.

If I gave him more evidence—enough to expel the bullies—they would find a way to tell someone my secret. I couldn't let that happen.

He was waiting for me to answer. Which question had he asked out loud? I had to check my memory files. He'd asked about when I went back for Searchlight.

"The-ey were go-one by the ti-i-ime I got back to-o the-e-e roof," I lied.

The headmaster sighed.

"I didn't a-a-actua-ally see the-em hu-urt Se-earchlight."

"Of course," he said. "And you didn't actually see them hurt Ratchet, either, just dangle him over the edge."

I looked down.

"I know," the headmaster said. "I know it was them, but I need evidence. Is there _anything?_ Any recordings, any details, anything you think might be helpful? Why were they after Searchlight and Ratchet in the first place?"

"Se-earchlight stoo-oo-ood up to-o the-em."

 _Hmmm… That makes it sound like they've got a lot more power over the other students than I thought._ "You should have told a teacher if you knew your friend was being targeted by them. If something like that happens again, let me know and I'll try to make sure it doesn't go this far, all right?" _I'll speak to them and warn them there'll be consequences._

I had told Cablereach. And I had heard him thinking about it later. He'd passed on the information to the headmaster, who hadn't done anything about it. Telling a teacher had not been helpful.

"You can go. Send the others back in." _I don't think I can expel them for this, but a two decaorn suspension from school might be in order. That will at least make them consider._

I stepped out into the waiting area outside the office. Ochre and the bullies looked up.

"You can go-o in no-ow."

They got up.

 _If we're expelled, you're going to pay,_ Verdict thought. _Just wait and see._

I walked away, trying to get out of range as soon as possible. I wished I could turn back time and change things. I wished I'd had more time to think last off-cycle. I should have just waited, just found another way to convince them to leave Searchlight on the roof. But it was too late for that. Now, they knew. I wasn't sure exactly what would happen if they told someone, but I didn't want to find out.

* * *

"Hey, 'Wave." Searchlight didn't look up from the datapad he was reading. "Did we get any homework in history?"

I shook my helm and sat down at his desk.

 _We have to do something about this. I'm worried…_ "Soundwave, what if the bullies tell someone?"

"They wo-on't," I said, though I wasn't so sure about that.

_We need an ally. You have to have an adult on your side._

"No."

"Soundwave…" _If they tell the wrong mecha... And it's not just that they might tell someone, what about tests? You can't hide it from everyone forever. What about finals? We take those all at one time, don't we? In one big room._

"I dealt la-a-ast vorn." Besides, telling someone else would make things worse, not better. I was done explaining my secret. Never again. I shouldn't have told Searchlight. I shouldn't have told anyone. Things had been awful before, but now they were worse.

_Didn't you say your base range is growing?_

I looked down. That was true.

"Mech?" Searchlight said.

"I-It's fine," I said.

"We need an ally."

I shook my helm again.

Searchlight frowned. _You're just hurting yourself. There has to be someone you can trust. You haven't outright said that there isn't one, so there must be one. Who is it?_

I shook my helm. "I-I ca-an't trust anyone."

_You trusted Ratchet and I._

"I sho-ouldn't ha-ave."

Searchlight looked over at his roommate, who was sitting in his chair, studying for at test and half-listening to the conversation. "I guess it's true," he said. "If you hadn't told us, then Verdict wouldn't know now…"

Ratchet looked up. A wave of guilt washed over him. _I'm so sorry. I should have… should have held out longer…_

Then I felt awful too, because it hadn't been his fault, not really. "No," I said. "I di-idn't mean that."

"You shouldn't tell anyone else," Ratchet said. "The more mecha you tell the higher the likelihood of it becoming public knowledge. You should probably go into hiding or something."

Leave the school. Start over again.

I didn't want to do that.

 _That's a terrible idea._ "Ratchet, if he leaves the school, there'll be no consequences for the bullies if they tell someone about him. The only reason they haven't is because he's got information about them too."

"If he leaves the school, they won't have enough evidence to convince anyone of what he can do," Ratchet retorted. "It would be safer for everyone."

Maybe it would. But I'd have to explain to Crescent why I needed to change schools, and she would be absolutely furious, especially that someone with connections like Verdict's knew about me. She would be able to deter the bullies from exposing me which would be helpful, but she would go after my friends too, blackmail them to make sure they kept quiet.

And I didn't know what she'd do to me. She might not want to risk sending me to another school. Or she might send me to public school. Or somewhere else. She might just keep me locked up in her house until she could legally kick me out.

"I guess you're right," Searchlight said. "Sorry, Soundwave. We kind of messed this up for you, didn't we?"

I shook my helm. "I'm the-e o-o-one who told the-em." I said.

" _I'm_ the one who told them," Ratchet said.

"There i-is…" I frowned. I was not really comfortable with this idea, but I needed to tip the scales again. Cablereach hadn't told the headmaster it was me who'd tipped him off about the bullies having teacher signal devices. He was careful about that sort of thing. We might be able to trust him. "A te-eache-er."

They looked at me. I didn't want to admit the reality of the situation but I had to face it eventually. My secret was out. If I did nothing and let Verdict act first… "We ca-an pro-obably trust." Probably.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Are you sure?"

I shook my helm. I wasn't sure at all. Adults were different. They saw things more clearly. Cablereach would understand in ways that Searchlight and Ratchet couldn't. I knew so much more than I should. Passwords, lock codes, secrets…

"We need to be careful about this," Searchlight said. "You're both right about that. But sometimes, you need to take a risk. Or you could leave the school, like Ratchet suggested."

I shook my helm. That wouldn't work. I couldn't tell Crescent what I'd done. She'd be so mad. She'd get me back for it somehow.

"Whatever you decide to do, I'll back you up," Searchlight said.

Ratchet huffed. "I think telling anyone else is a terrible idea. It's bad enough that the bullies found out. What if this teacher you tell goes straight to the headmaster?"

"I think Soundwave's probably a good judge of who would or wouldn't tell on him," Searchlight said. "Hey… what's happening with the bullies anyway?" _Do you know? Maybe if they kick them out we won't have to worry about it anymore after all. They ought to kick them out._

"I-I think they-y-y're getting suspe-e-e… suspende-ed."

Ratchet nodded. "Good."

"Not expelled?" Searchlight said. _Scrap. They aren't going to stop, are they? They're just going to keep coming after us._

"How long were they suspended for?" Ratchet asked.

"Two de-ecaorns."

"I bet if one of us dangled Verdict off the roof, we'd get expelled." Searchlight said. _Though it might be kind of worth it._

"Yeah," Ratchet smirked. "But they're going to come back right in time for finals to start. After missing two decaorns of classes."

"That's something at least," Searchlight said.

I nodded my agreement.

But it was only a small victory, and we all knew it.


	13. Trust

We didn't go talk to Cablereach that orn, or the one after. A large part of me wished that we could all just forget about it, but we knew the bullies were going to come back eventually.

The news of their suspension spread through the school. Somehow it got out that Searchlight had been involved and suddenly he was a hero. Femmes smiled and waved at him in the hallways, everyone recognized him and greeted him. I was worried at first what the attention would do to him, but it actually didn't change much. He did notice it, and he didn't dislike it, but he didn't revel in it either.

Ratchet, being Searchlight's roommate, also started getting more attention. It made him irritable—or more irritable at least. It got to the point where no one but Ravage could get close to him without having something thrown at them. Ravage, for his part, stayed remarkably protective of Ratchet for a few orns, even hissing at Searchlight once when he got too close.

But by the end of the decaorn, he was back to jumping on Ratchet whenever the occasion presented itself. By the end of the decaorn, the excitement about the bullies being suspended settled out a little. Finals were coming up and everyone had to worry about that instead. We still hadn't told Cablereach I could read minds. Searchlight had brought it up a couple of times, but I was still having second thoughts.

* * *

"Good orn, class."

There was a chorus of "Good orn, Bluefable" from the students. It wasn't very enthusiastic, but then again, we had a test. Why she'd decided to give us an assessment just two decaorns before final exams, no one knew. About half of the class was silently complaining about it.

"Before we begin this assessment, I'd like to thank all of you for participating in this class. It has been a pleasure teaching you, and I'd like to wish you all good luck on your finals. I hope to see some of you again in my other classes." _Yes, this was a very good class… Maybe with a few exceptions…_ She glanced at me, then the empty chair where Jazz had been, then at Searchlight. "I've sent you the assessments. Begin."

She'd done the question-switching thing again. I took a deep vent and started on the first one, trying to ignore everything around me and get as far as I could into the test before everyone else's thoughts fried my processor.

It didn't take long. Soon, the test questions blurred together and I had to read every word several times before even comprehending it. Other students finished and as it was her tradition to do so, Bluefable let them leave early. As the classroom emptied, I got a little of my concentration back and could work more quickly, but I had to rush to finish and I wasn't quite done by the time class was over.

"Turn in your tests," Bluefable said. "Time's up."

I submitted my answers to her. I wondered if she would ever notice that my responses were the worst during the middle of the test. Probably not.

Searchlight had waited for me.

_How are you doing? You okay?_

I waited until we were out in the hallway before nodding slightly.

_Say something._

I shook my helm.

_You aren't okay, are you? You can't keep doing this, mech—we're telling that teacher you mentioned. We're telling him this orn. I'll go with you if you like, and I'll even tell him for you if you don’t want to talk._

I shook my helm again.

_Soundwave this is stupid. We have to do something about it or it will never stop and it will just get worse. If you won't tell this teacher, I'll find out who he is and tell him for you._

Searchlight had promised he wouldn't. Would he really go back on that promise?

_Please, Soundwave._

He wouldn't. But he wasn't going to stop pestering me about it. "O-o-okay."

_Slag, you're stutter's pretty bad._

Only because he'd expected it to be. I'd only said one word, after all.

I left for my next class, which I barely paid attention in, and then went to Searchlight's room. He and Ratchet were arguing about some sort of policy that had been brought up in the introductory government class they were both in. They stopped when I came through the door.

"Ready?" Searchlight asked.

"For what?" Ratchet said.

"We're going to tell that teacher."

I vented a sigh. I did not feel ready.

"Don't worry," Searchlight said. "It'll be fine."

"I don't know…" Ratchet said.

"You don't have to come."

"I'm _not_ coming. What would I do anyway? Stand there and nod at appropriate times? Which teacher are you telling?"

Searchlight looked to me.

"Ca-ablereach."

"Oh," Searchlight said. "Cablereach. I've heard of him. They say he's pretty nice." _He teaches something about science I think? Or technology or something…_

 _I don't think I've heard of him,_ Ratchet thought. _I wonder what he teaches and if I'll ever take a class from him… I hope this isn't a mistake._

"Let's go. You know where his office is?"

I nodded.

"Lead the way then." _I'll talk to him if you like. I'll make him promise not to tell anyone before I tell him._

"Yo-o-ou don't ha-ave to-o," I said. It would be hard for me to explain it to him, especially with my stutter like this, but I could do it.

"You want me to? Because I'm more than willing."

I hesitated, then shrugged. He took it as confirmation.

"Let's go then."

I led the way through the halls of the school, to the classroom wing, and up one flight of stairs to Cablereach's office. He was there, grading research papers for one of his more advanced classes.

When I knocked on the door it opened.

"Come in… Soundwave and…"

"Searchlight."

 _Oh, him. This is the fledgling that Bluefable complained about—the one who the bullies got suspended for injuring. This little mech's all over the place, isn't he?_ "Searchlight. Nice to meet you, I'm Cablereach."

Searchlight nodded.

"So," Cablereach said. "What can I help you with?"

"We've come to tell you something," Searchlight said, glancing at me. _Am I okay to talk?_

I gestured for him to go ahead.

"All right," Cablereach said. _Does this have something to do with Verdict?_

"It's…" Searchlight took a moment to decide what to say. "It's about why it's so hard for Soundwave to take tests."

_It's hard for him to take tests? Am I finally going to understand this?_

"But," Searchlight said. "We can't tell you unless you promise not to tell anyone else."

Cablereach frowned. _What does that mean? I'm not so sure about this._ "What sort of thing is this? Why wouldn't I be able to tell anyone?"

"It's important," Searchlight said. "And you need to promise."

"I… I don't know that I can make a promise like that."

Searchlight looked to me. I shrugged.

"Is it something… can you give more information about this? Why is it a secret?" _What sort of secret would make it difficult for you to take tests?_

"You'd understand if I told you… if I told you and you believed me, that is."

Cablereach considered that. _If I believed him… That's an odd thing to say. This couldn't be some sort of prank—they seem far too serious…_

_He looks kind of shifty. You want to pull out, 'Wave? You sure we can trust him?_

We were here now. If we backed out and refused to tell him, he'd be suspicious. He'd keep asking questions. Mecha started paying attention when they knew someone was keeping secrets from them.

 _But I can't say no, just in case this is something important._ "Could you tell me a little more about this before I make any promises?" Cablereach asked again.

I nodded for Searchlight to continue.

"Depends," he said. _We do need to tell someone. At least he's being honest and not just promising in order to get us to tell him._ "What do you want to know?"

"Why is it a secret? Can you tell me that much?”

Searchlight tilted his helm to the side. “Well… it’s kind of hard to explain, actually.” _It’s dangerous. But if I use that word then there’s no way he’ll ever agree not to tell anyone._

“If it’s just something he’s embarrassed about, or doesn’t want other mecha to know, then I can promise not to tell anyone, but if it involves an infraction of the rules or if it endangers anyone in any way, I’ll have to tell the school administration.”

“It’s not dangerous,” Searchlight said. “At least, it’s not dangerous for anyone except Soundwave.”

And that was what he didn’t understand. I could be very dangerous if I wanted to.

Cablereach frowned.

"Look, I totally understand what you're feeling about this. I had to make the same promise before Soundwave told me. And we're not really making you promise never to tell anyone, we're just making you promise to get Soundwave's permission before you tell anyone. We've just decided we need an adult we can trust on our side and he said he thinks he can trust you." _The bullies know and finals are coming up…_ "And maybe you can help him."

 _I’m even more confused and curious than ever._ Cablereach looked from Searchlight to me, then back to Searchlight. He was starting to worry. _They're so serious. What do fledgling like them have to be so serious about?_

"All—All right," Cablereach said. _I need to know what it is. If it's something that needs to be passed on I'll just have to break my promise and beg their forgiveness later._ "All right. I promise not to tell anyone else."

"Okay," Searchlight said.

"No."

They both looked at me.

_Come on, 'Wave, don't back out now._

"I-I-If y-you tell a-anyone," I looked at Cablereach, "I-I-It could be-e…" I could be killed, locked up, experimented on. If the news got out, I could be hunted, kidnapped, and exploited. "Ba-ad thi-i-ings co-ould happen. Ple-e-ease promise no-ot to te-e-ell anyone wi-i-ithout convi-i-inci-i-i… co-onvinci-ing me-e first."

Searchlight nodded. “Look, I convinced him to tell you, all right? If you _really_ need to tell someone, you can talk Soundwave into it. And I promise this has nothing to do with breaking rules or anything. It's nothing anyone did wrong."

Cablereach looked down. _Well, I'm not going to just tell them to leave and keep whatever it is to themselves… I'm surprised they trust me, though, if this really is so important. I don't know them that well._

I knew him better than he thought. "Please me-e-ean it when y-you promi-i-ise."

"All right." _I want them to trust me. If I think they need to tell someone, I will talk Soundwave into it… that's a reasonable arrangement. He's a smart fledgling. Of course, I still don't know why they came to me for help. I'm no great well of wisdom, just a secondary school teacher._ "I promise I won't tell anyone without your permission, Soundwave."

Searchlight looked to me again. _Is he telling the truth this time?_

I hesitated, then nodded.

_I'm going to go ahead then._

I looked at Cablereach, steeling myself for his reaction. Disbelief, fear, self-consciousness...

"Soundwave can read minds."

Cablereach stared, processor stalling for a moment. He studied Searchlight's faceplate, trying to find hints that he was lying or joking.

 _Primus beneath… he’s dead serious._ He looked at me, then, but my expression was unreadable. So he thought about it—started to put things together and connect the dots. Horror sank deep into his core. _Primus… this really isn't a joke is it?_

"It's no-ot."

"That is…" _It's terrible. What should I do about this? Primus, they're right about telling anyone… that would have to be handled carefully. Mind-reading... can he hear what I'm thinking right now? I wonder if he can search for information in my processor, or if I have to think about it?_

"Yo-ou have to thi-i-ink abo-out i-i-i-it." Stupid stutter.

He stared at me. _This is insane... Do you hear what everyone thinks all the time? Is there a way to block it out?_

I shook my helm.

He looked at my screen, running through the ramifications of that in his processor. "I’m so sorry. That sounds terrible."

Kind of, yes.

 _Has he ever told an adult? What about his caretaker?_ "Who knows about this?"

"I know," Searchlight said, "So does my roommate Ratchet, and Soundwave's symbiont Ravage. And…" _your caretaker?_

I nodded.

"And Soundwave's caretaker and… well, _you_ know now. And, uh… Verdict, Motormaster, and Jazz know."

"Oh," Cablereach said. _That is not good._

"So you can see why we decided to tell someone. Before they did."

"I see. How did that happen?"

"Uh… long story. But also, it's really impossible for Soundwave to take tests. When the mechs around him are concentrating, he hears their thoughts louder, so he can't think very well and it's also—as you might imagine—a little difficult not to cheat. And it gives him a processor ache and he can barely talk for joors afterward." _And he's never told anyone. Just suffered in silence._

"Okay," Cablereach shuttered his optics and vented deeply, still struggling to process this. "I think we can come up with a solution for that, but we're getting ahead of ourselves here." _I need the full story—all the data._ "Soundwave," He opened his desk and pulled out a datapad. "Here. I want you to write on this… everything you know about your abilities. How long you've had them, what exactly you can do with them. Everything. We might be able to find out what’s going on and get you help. And Searchlight," He turned to the brown and white fledgling. "I want you to tell me what's been going on with Verdict, Jazz and Motormaster. How did they find out?"

They talked and I typed. It might have distracted anyone else, but listening to them talk about me was nothing to taking at test. I had most of what I knew written out by the time Searchlight had told Cablereach about what had happened on the roof. And then both of them came over and read what I had written. I even put in that my default range was getting wider, though I didn't mention that I thought it was going to either kill me or drive me insane some orn.

When Cablereach was done reading, he sat back thoughtfully. "So you have no idea where you got these abilities or why you have them?"

I didn't know. I didn't think Crescent knew either, though she knew more than I did. She tried really hard not to think about my creators or the accident when I was around, so I didn't know for sure, but for some reason she didn't think I'd been sparked with the ability to read minds. That had happened afterward, somehow.

 _Maybe it has something to do with how his creators died._ "How did..." never mind, _that's a very personal question._

"Scraple-ets," I said.

He looked down. _Of course, you heard the question anyway. That's horrifying... probably isn't related to his abilities, though. "_ I'm sorry," he said at length. _I need to think about this. This sort of thing doesn't exactly happen every orn..._ "Thank you for being willing to come to me with this. I'll do my best to make sure I deserve the trust you've placed in me. This is… a very serious matter. If the wrong mecha found out, Soundwave, you would be in a lot of danger."

Well, I was glad he agreed with us about that.

"I can probably help you arrange to take your final examinations on your own. Would that be useful?"

I nodded emphatically. That would be wonderful.

"Okay, we will figure that out." He erased everything I had just typed from his datapad. "And I will think about this. I need to think about this… Is there anything else?"

I shook my helm.

"Nope," Searchlight said. "That was pretty much it."

Cablereach put a hand to his helm. "Then you can leave if you like. I will have more questions, though, so I'd appreciate it if you'd come back sometime next orn, Soundwave."

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Both of us or just Soundwave."

"Just Soundwave." _I can't believe they trust me this much. That must have taken a lot of courage to come to me. I'd probably have kept it to myself forever._

A lot of courage or a friend named Searchlight who was really really good at getting into trouble.

If it weren't for him, my secret would still actually be a secret… of course I'd also still be failing school and the bullies would still be picking on me and I'd still spend all my spare time hanging out in my room with Ravage and thinking about how miserable my life was.

I went to my room to get Ravage before returning to Searchlight's. As soon as we were there, my hopped off my shoulders to go and try to surprise Ratchet.

Ratchet looked up. _There you are. Searchlight told me talking to the teacher went well… wait, where is…_

Ratchet's chair lurched violently and tipped.

"Ack!" Ratchet scrambled off the chair and Ravage jumped on him. "Get off!"

"Well," Searchlight said from his berth. "Glad to see that's back to normal."

Ratchet tried to pick up the whole chair and throw it at Ravage, but he only managed to drop it on his own pede. "Ow! Stupid fragging chair!"

"You okay, Ratch?" Searchlight asked, trying not to smile.

"Fine!" Ratchet kicked the chair. "Ow!"

Ravage hissed a laugh.

Eventually, Ratchet shoved the chair back upright and climbed onto it, muttering under his breath.

* * *

The next orn I went to Cablereach's office and he was ready for me. He had a lot of questions and we ended up talking for joors. There were things he'd thought of in an orn that I hadn't considered at all. We also discussed what to do about the bullies knowing, and on that front we didn't make much headway. Our best hope was that either they wouldn't tell anyone, or that no one would believe them. Cablereach also said that he was working on convincing the headmaster to let me take my finals individually on the basis that being in a room full of other students was too distracting for me, especially if I had nothing to focus on other than a test.

He said I'd have to talk to the school counselor and tell _him_ that I wanted to take tests alone, but that shouldn't be difficult.

It was almost light's out when I left his office.

The next orn, I went and talked to the councilor and the headmaster. It wasn't too hard to convince them to let me try taking tests by myself. They were both a little relieved that I was finally speaking up and telling them what I needed.

The bullies came back just in time for finals to start. All three of them, even Motormaster, were too busy studying to cause much trouble, and I was rarely in the same room as them.

Another surprise—I actually enjoyed the final exams. It was fun to find out how much I _actually_ knew about the subjects I'd been studying throughout the term. Maybe that made me strange, but at least it was a tame, ordinary kind of strange. I was a nerd. I could live with that.

I just needed my luck to last a little longer and Crescent to let me spend the vorn-end holiday with Searchlight and his creators.

But things had been going so well, I should have known it wouldn't last.

* * *

Crescent had friends over when I came home after my last final exam. I knew she wouldn't like it if I barged in on her when she was entertaining company, so Ravage and I went up to my room to wait. She knew I'd come home, because she had the door programmed to let her know every time I walked through it. It was mostly to make sure I didn't sneak in or out. She had an irrational fear of me going crazy and trying to kill her.

She talked to her friends for another half a joor before they left. I was starting to think money wasn't such a good thing. Crescent and Verdict were both rich and both of them had processors full of selfishness and vanity. Searchlight's creators, on the other hand, could barely pay his tuition and all three of them were good mecha.

_Soundwave, I know you're here. Come down._

I stood from my chair and Ravage leaped up onto my shoulders.

_Do we really need her permission?_

"Yes," I said. "We do-o."

I went down the stairs to the kitchen, where Crescent was waiting for me.

"What is it his time?" _I wish you could stay at that school over the break._ "Is the term over already?" _Finals can't be done yet, can they?_

I nodded.

She vented a sigh. "Very well. I suppose you were listening in on our conversation in the sitting room." _Tell me if any one of them are planning on stabbing me in the back any time soon, would you?_

"No-ot anytime soon."

She frowned. _When were final exams? You don't sound like you just took a test._

_I shrugged._

"When were finals?" She asked out loud.

If I lied to her, she'd find out. She went and checked things like that. "The last o-one wa-as just a few joo-oors ago."

_Then why aren't you all fragged?_

I looked down.

"I need an answer. Why can you talk so well?"

"I took the finals o-on my own i-inste-ead of in a-a room with the o-o-other students."

 _What?_ "And how did you pull that off?"

"I-I asked if I-I-I could."

Crescent gasped. "You told someone, didn't you?"

"No."

"You did!"

"No-o, I ju-u-ust told them I ha-a-ave a hard ti-ime paying atte-ention."

She considered me. _It's so hard to read the little glitch. He had better not have told anyone._

Now was probably not a good time to ask if I could spend the break at Searchlight's house. But I had to ask by the next orn, because Searchlight was leaving then.

_You know what will happen if you tell anyone, right?_

I nodded. I knew exactly what would happen, and it actually wasn't as bad as she thought.

"Good. Well, you can go back to your room now. You know where the energon is. Don't bother me unless you absolutely have to." She fingered a stain on the counter, and tried to decide whether she could use it as an excuse to fire the housekeeper, who she was annoyed with. Then she looked up again and saw that I was still in the room. "Is there a problem?"

"A-actually," I said. "I wa-anted to ask if I-I-I could spend the bre-e-eak at my-y friend's house."

She stared at me for a moment. "What?" _The whole break? That would be nice, but I don't want him out of… how far away is this friend anyway? I've never met him._ "I suppose this 'friend' invited you?"

I nodded.

"You haven't told _him,_ have you?"

I shook my helm.

"And yet the two of you are still friends." _You've never been able to make friends before._

I shrugged.

She narrowed her optics. _Where did you get that attitude, you little glitch?_ "I don't believe you."

My spark sank.

"You _have_ told someone, haven't you? Maybe more than one."

"No-o."

"Don't _lie_ to me!"

I took half a step back, looking down. Ravage growled, low and threatening.

"Who. Have. You. Told?"

I didn't answer.

_I'll have to do damage control, frag it. See if I can find a way to silence anyone who knows._

"Why-y a-are you so-o scared?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Crescent snapped. "They'll take you away and there'll be investigations and everyone will know and my social standing and everything I'm trying to do will be ruined and you… You'll become the government's little science project. They'll cut you open and study you so they can replicate whatever it is that lets you do that. Is that what you want?"

"No."

"Who have you told?"

I didn't answer.

"Your 'friend' right?" Crescent said. "What's his designation? I can find it out if you refuse to tell me."

"Do-on't y-you think I know whe-e-ethe-er I can trust so-omeone?"

She'd asked me countless times whether or not she could trust her friends. Usually the answer was no, but I could tell. She knew I could tell.

"There are some things you can't trust anyone with."

"Maybe that sho-ould be my-y-y decision."

"Go to your room!"

Ravage growled again.

_Go to your room, or Primus help me, I'll lock you in there for the whole break._

I turned and walked to the doorway, then stopped.

"I don't know what's gotten into you," Crescent said. "This school isn't good for you. I'll find you a different school."

"Do-on't."

"And keep your monster from growling at me or I'll have it put down. I'm still your caretaker, you still need to do what I tell you. I should have thrown you out in the streets when I found out what you were. But I didn't. I feed you, I send you to good schools, and I keep your secret. I'm putting myself and my reputation in danger for you every orn, and do I get any gratitude or respect? Go to your room!" _Don't just stand there, get out of my sight._

I walked away. By the time I was in my room, she'd calmed down a little.

_When you're ready to give me a list of everyone you've told, you can come out of there._

I sat down on my berth.

"If she makes you go to a different school…" Ravage said.

"I know."

I'd have to start over. Maybe Crescent would be able to keep the bullies quiet, and that would be good, but it wasn't worth it. I had friends and a trustworthy teacher who knew my secret. I didn't think I'd be able to find that again. Ravage hopped off my shoulders and I leaned my helm back against the wall. It didn't matter. Crescent had made up her mind and there was nothing I could do about it.


	14. Power

"We could run away."

"No-o Ravage."

"She probably wouldn't even care."

"Yes she-e-e wo-ould."

My room was small, but larger than the one at the school. I had a desk here too, a berth, a few datapads, a computer, and not much else.

Ravage lay across my desk. "You don't _want_ to stay here all break, do you?"

I vented a sigh.

"And if she makes you go to a different school…"

"Lo-o-ok, there's no-o-othi-ing I-I…" I forced myself to calm down. "I ca-an't stop he-er." If I had to start over, then I had to start over. This time, I'd be more careful. I'd be sure not to make any friends. It was stupid of me to think that I could have friends—they never worked out, and I always ended up exactly where I'd started or worse. Besides, I couldn't push Crescent too far or she'd make good on her threats to get rid of Ravage.

I needed Ravage. I had coped without Searchlight and Ratchet before, and could do so again, but I _needed_ Ravage.

"We could run away."

And go where? Searchlight's creators, as nice as they were, wouldn't want Ravage and I there forever. And I couldn't go to school without Crescent to pay for it. "We-e can't li-i-ive on the stree-eets."

 _I've done it before,_ Ravage thought. _Well… it wasn't very fun._ "We could go live with Searchlight."

"We co-ouldn't."

"Why not? His creators are much better than Crescent. I bet they'd let us stay there."

I shook my helm. He had a hard time understanding this sort of thing. "No. Just dro-op i-it."

Things would go back to the way they were before. They'd go back to normal, and normal was all right. I'd still have Ravage, so I'd be okay.

No I wouldn't.

I'd lose all the ground I'd gained. I'd have to take tests with the other students again. I'd have to endure all the staring and curiosity again, and carefully evade questions and ignore thoughts about why I was so different, until everyone got used to me.

I'd done it before.

I'd done it before and survived it.

This always happened when things looked like they were about to turn out well.

"You could just tell Crescent you aren't listening to her and go back to school on your own."

"Y-you need credit fo-or that." Just stop, Ravage.

"You have to do _something._ "

I looked up at him. Searchlight was always saying that. Searchlight would do something, but I wasn't Searchlight. If I wasn't there next term, he'd be all alone against the bullies. Of course, had my involvement really been helping him? Maybe if I hadn't been there, he'd have learned not to fight them.

Somehow I had a hard time believing that.

Without me, the bullies wouldn't have much trouble hunting him down. Ratchet would be in danger too. They'd get hurt again and again until someone gave up or got expelled. The bullies had gotten other students expelled before.

This wasn't just about me. It was a strange thought, that anyone else depended on me. But if I didn't go back to that school, my friends would probably get hurt.

I stood.

Ravage got up as well. _What?_

"Stay here," I said. "Thi-is might not go we-e-ell."

_What are you going to do? I want to come._

I shook my helm. "Sta-ay here."

I left my room and made my way down the stairs. My sudden confidence dissipated as I reached the hallway Crescent's office was in. She was there, reading the news on a datapad. She rarely spent a lot of time her office unless she was in a particularly bad mood, which she was. At least she hadn't called the school yet from what I could hear in her mind.

I stood outside the open doorway, barely out of her line of sight, and tried to remember what I'd decided to say to her just moments ago. How could I convince her to let me stay at the school? Maybe it would just be better to wait it out. She might forget about her threat.

No, this time I'd told mecha about my abilities. I needed to resolve this somehow. I could threaten to tell others… but any threats of that sort would be empty. We both knew the danger grew exponentially the more mecha I told.

She wanted me to tell her who knew my secret, but I wasn't going to. I didn't want to admit that I'd told the bullies—and besides, I could deal with them myself—and I wasn't about to give her a chance to hurt or threaten my friends in any way.

I couldn't confront her without something substantial to say. I needed something. Something I could use, some way I could convince her it would be better to let me stay at the school.

I hated confrontations. Maybe I should just go back to my room.

I took a step backward.

Crescent heard. _No one else is home… Soundwave?_ She thought. _Is that you? He's so creepy. Maybe I should have locked his door. I'm losing control of him, what_ happened _this term? He almost stood up to me… he_ did _stand up to me. That's not all right._

Losing control of me? What had _happened_ this term?

What had happened was that I'd finally realized that I didn't need to let Crescent have her way all the time.

I stepped forward again, into the doorway.

Her helm snapped up. "Soundwave… are you ready to give me a list of who you told?"

"No," I said.

_Don't take that tone with me or you'll be sorry._

"Y-you know, I-I hear thi-i-ings louder a-and loude-er every orn." I spoke quietly, with no inflection. I knew I sounded flat and emotionless sometimes. I often tried actively to sound more normal, but this time I went the other way.

Her optics darted over my screen. _What does he mean? Why is he telling me that?_

"It me-e-eans," I said. "That soon i-it might be too mu-uch."

"Soundwave, go back to your room!" _Get away from me…_

I took a step into her office. "I-If I ha-a-ave to go to-o-o a new school a-and take tests with othe-e-er students a-again, I-It wo-on't be long." I actually wasn't sure if I was lying about that. "A-at this po-o-oint, I don't really ca-are. But I-I-I thought it wa-as fa-a-air to warn y-you." I had made progress these past few decaorns. If she didn't want me to make progress, I'd just go crazy instead.

_He's just bluffing, he has to be bluffing... what if he's not?_

I took another step toward her.

"Get out!" she said. _Get away from me, you freak. I'll have Ravage put down if you don't leave right now! Stay away from me…_

I stopped and stared at her. Then slowly, calmly, I turned and walked away. I went back to my room, listening to her fear.

I would ask early the next orn if I could spend the break with Searchlight. If I was creepily cheerful enough about it, she might not even argue.

The thought made me feel sick. Blackmail and threats were her tools, and I didn't want to be like her. They were so easy to use though. I knew everyone's fears, their secrets, and their old emotional wounds. I knew how frightened of me Crescent was, how afraid she was that I would seek revenge on her for how she'd treated me.

Cablereach and I had talked about how powerful I was, and he had been worried that I'd abuse that power. He'd seemed impressed that so far I had avoided using it to my advantage. But now I'd used it to get my way.

Crescent wouldn't recharge well this off-cycle, and I probably wouldn't either. But I had needed to do that, hadn't I?

Had I? It felt kind of wrong. I spent so much effort worrying that everyone was afraid of me, and now I'd intentionally scared someone.

Ravage looked up when I came in. I shut the door behind me and sat down.

"Well?" Ravage asked. _How did it go? Do we need to run away?_

"I-I think…" I said. "She-ell let me sta-ay-y at the schoo-ool."

"Good," Ravage said. _I'd have been sad to go somewhere that didn't have Ratchet._

I sighed.

"What?"

"No-othing."

_You don't seem all that happy about this… what did you have to do to convince her? Did you tell her you told Searchlight and that teacher? Are they in danger? Did you tell her Ratchet knows? Did you tell her she could get rid of me?_

"No-one of tha-at." I said. "I… I-I sca-a-ared her."

"You…" Ravage said, then grinned. "You scared her? You should have let me come, Soundwave… you _scared her?_ How? Now, you have to tell me."

"I… threate-e-ened to go i-insane if she-e-e made me swi-itch schools."

Ravage hissed a laugh.

It wasn't funny. I was creepy enough as it was. I was a freak already. I didn't have to reinforce it by frightening anyone on purpose. She'd really been scared—she was still scared. I stretched out my range to hear her thoughts from halfway across the house. I almost wanted to go back and apologize, but she'd be furious.

I wished I could pull my range back. Fear wasn't exactly a pleasant emotion, even when it wasn't my own fear. I figured I deserved to listen, though. I'd been angry and desperate, but that was no excuse.

Never again.

Well… No… I wished I knew I could keep that resolution, but I might need to do something like that in the future.

At least it had worked.

* * *

"Crescent."

She looked up from her cube of energon. _Soundwave…_

"Do-o you re-e-eally want me he-ere over the break?"

 _No._ "I'm not sure what you mean by that." _How serious were you when you told me you're going crazy?_

"I-I wa-as serious."

She frowned. _Unlike you, I can't tell if someone's lying. But I don't want to take that chance… if I find out you're just trying to scare me into submission..._ "You can stay at that school, but only if you don't tell anyone you haven't already told. And leave me out of it, and don't expect me to help you if the wrong mecha find out, because I won't. I'll just plead ignorance and let the government have you. And no, I don't actually want you here over the break." _Just one and a quarter more vorns and I can be rid of him. Frag, that is so long…_

"The-en can I go?"

"Go? Yes, you can go wherever the pit you want, so long as it doesn't cost me anything."

I left her there and went upstairs for Ravage.

"Well?" Ravage said.

"We-e can go."

Ravage leaped up onto my shoulders. "Good." _I hope Rumble and Frenzy are still there._

I nodded. It would be good for him to spend time with some other symbionts.

* * *

I didn't have much I wanted to bring, maybe a few datapads, but I'd left those all at the school anyway. I left Crescent's house and walked. It was early enough in the orn that I was pretty sure Searchlight hadn't left yet. I got there quickly and went right to Searchlight's room where he was waiting for me. Ratchet was already gone, though, which made Ravage a little sad.

"So, can you come?" Searchlight asked.

I nodded.

"Good." _I was worried when you didn't come back last off-cycle. What happened?_

I hesitated. "Lo-ong story."

"Right," _You can type it out or something if you don't want to talk that much. Well, we've got to get going._ "We should go so we don't miss the transport. I mean, if we do, there's another one a joor later, so it doesn’t matter that much, but we’ll have to wait around for a joor. Do you have everything you need?"

I nodded. I didn't really need anything except Ravage.

Searchlight picked up a bag with a few things in it. "I wish I had subspace," he said. "Next upgrade, maybe… So how were finals?"

"Good," I'd been able to see how much I knew on my own without anyone else feeding me the answers. I had sometimes worried that I wasn't really learning anything because whenever the teachers asked questions, someone else always knew the answer and so I could borrow it from them.

But now I was sure I was learning things. I felt like I'd done well on the finals.

"That's good," Searchlight said. _I think I might not have done so well on that history one I hope I didn't fail. I can't fail a class or I’ll lose my scholarship…_ "So, my creators are working this orn, and they won't be home for several joors after we get there. I think I want to go meet them at the shelter instead of just going home. You want to come?"

I nodded.

_I hope he doesn't scare the symbionts… I mean… I didn't mean that._

I shrugged. "Sy-ymbiots do-o-on't usually mind me as mu-uch as mecha." Some of them thought I was strange, but they usually weren't afraid of me.

"Huh…" Searchlight said. "I guess that makes sense. In some ways I think they're smarter than us, you know." He smiled at Ravage. "They've got better instincts at least."

"We do," Ravage agreed.

"At the same time, symbionts don't do things like build buildings or large societies, or organize governments."

"But those things are useless," Ravage said.

"No, you just don't understand why they're useful," Searchlight said. "Just like you see no point to going to school and learning things, do you?"

Ravage shook his head. "But Soundwave explained it to me. You do it because you have to, to survive when you're older. If I didn't have Soundwave, I might decide to go to school and learn things too."

"Really?" _He'd have a bit of a hard time getting into any schools._

Ravage shrugged. "Maybe. I can read already. It's never helped me with anything, though." He looked at me. _Still not sure why you made me learn._

We left the school. Searchlight talked most of the way to the mass transit station. He was excited that finals were over and that he was going home. As he talked about the things he wanted to do over break. I couldn't help feeling a little jealous. He'd had this his whole life. His creators cared about him, and wanted him. He actually _missed_ them when he was away at school. I wondered what things would have been like if my creators hadn't died. If I'd grown up with them, would they have been like Crescent or more like Searchlight's creators? Would I have been happy? Would things have been better?

I might not have Ravage. He might have been killed at that symbiont shop. I might not have met Searchlight, but I might have other friends.

When we were at the station, Searchlight somehow sensed my mood. "You okay?"

I nodded.

"So… what _did_ happen last off-cycle? With your caretaker? Is everything okay?" _I mean, if you want to tell me. If you don't, that's fine._

I nodded. "She-e…" We were in a crowded train station. I couldn't talk about my conversation with Crescent when so many mecha were in hearing range. "I guess I-I'll tell y-y-you about it la-ater."

Searchlight nodded. "Fair enough."

We got there just in time to catch the next transport. We didn't talk much on the ride, which was all right with me. This time, after we arrived, instead of walking to his house, Searchlight took us a different direction.

It was a longer walk, but eventually, we got to a medium-sized, old-looking building. A slightly rusty sign above the front doors read "Outer Iacon Sector 26 Northwest Symbiont Shelter." Searchlight walked in, and I followed him into a small, drafty room. A femme sitting behind a desk smiled and looked up when we came in. _It's Searchlight! Keepsake and Cam have been so excited. They'll be happy to see him._ "Hi, Searchlight. I heard you might show up sometime this orn. Who's your friend?" _And what's with the visor?_

"This is Soundwave," Searchlight said. "He's going to stay with my creators and me over the break."

"Oh, I heard about that." A memory of Keepsake telling her about me replayed in her processor.

_"Searchlight's going to invite a friend over for the break."_

_"The whole break?"_

_"Yes. I don't think the poor fledgling's guardian takes good care of him. Not from what Searchlight has told me. He's a little different—you'll know him if you see him. He's got a stutter too, and I don't think he has a lot of friends."_

_"Aw, that's rough. Where'd he get the stutter?"_

_"He mentioned something about an accident when he was a sparkling."_

_"Oh my…"_

_"I didn't want to ask. He said his creators died in it."_

_"That's horrible."_

_"Yes, and Searchlight seems to think he's never had any real friends before. I feel so bad for him."_

_"Of course."_

_"I'm proud of my creation, though. He's always trying to help other mecha."_

I looked down. I supposed I shouldn't be upset that everyone felt sorry for me, but it was frustrating. I wished they'd just all get over it.

 _Oh, he looks sad. What did I say? Uh… I'm probably staring at him, aren't I… I need to think of something to say…_ "That is one gorgeous symbiont," the femme said.

Ravage perked up.

 _He looks like he could kill someone though._ "He's really big too. How well does he do around other…"

"He's fine," Searchlight said. "Oh, Soundwave, this is Goldsky."

The femme nodded. "Sorry, I didn't introduce myself. It really is good to meet you. You two can go in." _I wonder if he always looks sad. It's so hard to tell what he's thinking when I can't see his expression. Does he have a faceplate under that screen, or is it just the screen?_

I followed Searchlight past the desk and through another set of doors. This was the usual reaction when someone met me. Searchlight and his creators were the exception to the rule in that case. It was almost always curiosity or pity or fear or some combination of the three.

I could clearly hear their thoughts in the room beyond as well as the thoughts of numerous symbionts, and one more mech.

We went through the door and I was surprised at the physical noise in the room. Symbionts' processors were quiet enough that the actual audible noise they were making was louder than their collective thoughts.

Another mech was standing with Cam, looking down at a ropy, snakelike symbiont. They were trying to convince it to tell them where something was.

"But I don't know. I haven't ever seen it in my life." _They'll never find it._

"Writhe, that toy belongs to Gyroptic, you know that," the other mech said. "And you were seen taking it. Where did you put it?"

"I didn't have it!" the snake, Writhe said. "I was… I was framed!" I caught a brief image of a little crack in the corner of his cage that he could stuff things into.

Ravage leaped off of my shoulders, recognizing Rumble and Frenzy in a cage to the side of the room.

"Searchlight!" Keepsake, who had been talking to a rodent-shaped symbiont, noticed her creation standing by the door. The two mechs looked up as well.

Cam smiled as Keepaske crossed the room to embrace Searchlight. _Soundwave's here too. Good._ "You brought Soundwave too. Soundwave, are you here for the whole break?"

I nodded.

"Wonderful," Keepsake said. "Well, we have a few more joors here before the later shift comes. You two can go home or you can stay and help if you like."

Searchlight looked at me. _Stay?_

I nodded slightly.

"We'll stay," Searchlight said. "You mechs seem pretty under-staffed."

"Well, Dancer's sick, poor femme," Keepsake said. "Nasty virus. She probably caught it from one of the newer additions. And Turbine left—he got a job somewhere else. All right…" _Soundwave will need to know everyone's names…_ "Searchlight would you… no, you don't know some of the newer symbionts. I'll give Soundwave a tour. You can go ask Cam what you can do to help."

"Got it," Searchlight said.

Keepsake took me around the room and introduced me to all the symbionts currently in the shelter, then to the other mech, whose designation was Lakes.

"Now," Keepsake said. "I don't want to make you clean out cages on your first orn here. So why don't you ask Searchlight if he wants to help you take a few of the more restless ones for a walk?"

I nodded and wandered over to where Writhe the snake was still refusing to know anything about the toy he had stolen. The symbiont he'd stolen from, a tripod-like creature with one large optic, was sitting in his cage, feeling miserable. He'd barely looked up when Keepsake had introduced me to him.

"Come on, Writhe," Searchlight said. "How would you feel if Gyroptic took something from you?"

"But he didn't," Writhe said, "And I didn't take anything from him. I don't know what you all are talking about. Why do you alwaysss blame me when sssomthing goes missssing?" _They all hate me._ He curled into a defensive posture. _They all think I'm a thief and a liar. Everymech hates me._

Searchlight looked at me. _You pick up where he hid it? Gyroptic really loves that silly toy, and I don't know how well he'll function without the thing._

I shook my helm slightly and looked at Writhe. "Do y-you know whe-e-ere it is?"

Writhe turned to look at me for the first time. _I've never seen him before?_ "I keep telling you all I don't. Why won't any of you believe me?"

 _Because we know he's lying,_ Lakes thought, patience wearing very thin.

"I-I believe y-you," I told him seriously, even though I _knew_ for certain that he'd taken it.

_He talks funny. But… he believes me? Really?_

"We're ju-ust asking because Gy-yroptic's sad, a-a-and we want to help him fi-ind it. I be-e-et y-you'd be good at ge-e-etting i-into small spaces to-o-o look for it. Ca-an you he-elp us?"

Lakes frowned at me thoughtfully. _Huh… that's an interesting approach._

"I bet Gy-yro-o-optic would be gra-a-ateful I-If you found it fo-or hi-i-im."

 _That's pretty clever,_ Cam said. _Now Writhe has a way out. He can return the toy without getting in trouble, but it also might encourage him to steal things in the future, only to pretend to find them and give them back. Might set a bad precedent._

Writhe was a little suspicious at first, but then he really thought about what I'd said, and realized that he wouldn't mind it if Gyroptic was happy with him. And if he made a big show of finding this thing…

"All right," he said. "I'll help you look." _I'll just wait until no one's looking and grab it quickly._

"Okay," Lakes said, willing to play along. "Let's look, everymech. We've got to find Gyroptic's toy."

Ravage rolled his optics. _Soundwave, can Rumble and Frenzy come out of their cage?_

I didn't answer him, or give any indication that I'd heard him. He should know better than to mentally ask me questions in a crowded room.

Writhe waited until no one was looking, then sneaked into his cage. He came back out with a little figure wrapped in his coils then carried it covertly over to the side of the room before declaring that he had found it.

The little tripod symbiont was let out of his cage, and he took the toy from Writhe quickly before retreating safely behind Lakes's pede.

Writhe's spark sank as he realized that Gyroptic didn't look very grateful after all, and his attempt to make a friend had failed.

"Thank you for finding that, Writhe," Keepsake said, smiling at the snake. _That was pretty good thinking on Soundwave's part._ "Okay, who wants to go for a walk?"

Most of the symbionts in the room perked up, and at least half of them called out for her to pick them.

I spent the next several joors leading symbionts on a circuit around the building. We would take a few for a walk while Keepsake and the others cleaned out cages, then bring them back and leave with another group. For the most part they behaved, even though we didn't have them on leashes. And when one of them would make a run for it, Ravage would go after them and bring them back. When we were done with that, it was time to feed them and lock up for the orn. I helped distribute energon and started memorizing their designations. I was surprised, after the orn of chaos and hard work, that I didn't have a processor ache by the time the on-cycle ended. But then again, Symbionts didn't think as loudly. And their thoughts were mostly simple instincts and emotions. After spending part of an orn with so many of them, I almost felt like _my_ life was simpler. I could almost forget about the bullies and Crescent and all the trouble that came with the ability to read minds.

Almost.

* * *

Searchlight and his creators and I walked to his house in the gloom of the early off-cycle. The sun had set by the time we got there.

"Let's have some energon, and then all go recharge, all right?" Keepsake said.

"Kind of wanted to stay up," Searchlight said. "It _is_ the end-of-term break, you know."

"Yes," Keepsake agreed. "But Cam and I have to get up early next on-cycle. If the two of you want to watch a holovid or something, you can, but don't stay up too late. Soundwave, we don't have a guest room for you, so you get to have the living room bench. Or if you'd rather, you can recharge on Searchlight's floor. I'm sorry we don't have somewhere better." _He's probably used to a room of his own._

"Tha-at's fine," I told her, trying to put as much cheerful reassurance into my voice as possible. I wouldn't mind recharging in their living room. In fact, I'd rather recharge on their front porch than on my own berth at Crescent's house.

We had some energon. All three of them tried far too hard not to stare at me as I poured my cube down the port in my shoulder. I didn't mind… that much.

Then Keepsake bid us good off-cycle and left. I was feeling ready to recharge as well, but Cam and Searchlight both wanted to watch a holovid, so we did that first. Then, the two of them left me alone in the living room with Ravage. He curled up under the bench I was lying on. I looked up at the dark ceiling.

This break was going to be good. Probably the best two quartexes of my life. For eight decaorns, I could forget about Crescent and the bullies and school. And maybe, just maybe, things would keep working out. I owed this to Searchlight of course. He didn't really understand—he _couldn't_ understand—what he was doing for me, and I didn't know if I'd ever be able to repay him.

I turned my screen off, but could still see through Ravage's optics until he shuttered them and slipped into recharge.

I drifted off as well.


	15. Shelter

The next orn, we went back to the shelter with Keepsake and Cam. We were only there for a few joors though before Lakes kicked us out and told us to go do something fun. We wandered the sector for a while, with Searchlight showing us around. This part of Iacon was nothing like the crowded, fast-paced sector at the center, which I'd been to several times with Crescent when I was younger.

I liked how quiet it was here, and Ravage was enjoying himself too. He didn't get to explore anywhere very often because I liked staying inside. I knew he understood, but I still felt guilty. He was just so cheerful and happy whenever we _did_ go outside that I always felt like I should do it more often, even if I didn't want to.

We eventually came to a park which had been Searchlight's destination from the beginning. He knew some of the fledglings there, and when he introduced me, their initial reactions were mostly typical.

I tried to back away and stay out of the group as Searchlight told them all about the school in Kalis and asked how they had been while he was gone, but he kept drawing me back in.

As time went on I was surprised to find that the others relaxed a little around me, but I still felt out of place. I'd known Searchlight had other friends, but it was awkward talking with them, and I couldn't help but feel a little left out. Ravage, somehow sensing my mood, came over and climbed up to his customary place on my shoulders opting to keep me company instead of run around.

I was glad the park wasn't crowded. By the end of the orn, I was still feeling fine. Keepsake and Cam showed up to take us home—they had figured Searchlight would come here.

"Soundwave," Keepsake said as we walked—it was only a ten breem walk from their house—"You're very good with the symbionts."

"Thanks."

"If you were old enough, and if we got to choose who to hire, we'd offer you a job."

"I-I'm fine volunteer-eering."

"Are you sure?"

"I like it."

 _I wonder why,_ Searchlight though. _Surely it's got to be really noisy with a bunch of symbionts in your helm._

I'd explain it to him later.

 _If he wanted to work at the shelter after secondary school, we might be able to work that out,_ Cam thought. _But he's probably got bigger plans than that. No one who goes to_ that _school ends up working at a symbiont shelter._

If I was sane after secondary school I would gladly work at a symbiont shelter. I didn't need credit—at least, not a lot of credit. Just enough to survive.

"Well, you're free to volunteer as much as you want," Cam said. "We certainly need the help." _We got three new ones this orn. Running out of cage space—at least Rumble and Frenzy got picked up._

Ravage would be sad to hear that. But I supposed it was good that those two had an owner now.

We got back to Searchlight's apartment and Cam got out a card came. I enjoyed it, though I liked the comfortable, friendly chatting more than the game itself. I had to lose on purpose because I could see everyone else's cards. It was surprisingly challenging to fight the temptation to win all the time. Searchlight knew I was losing on purpose, and he kept asking me mentally what his creators' cards were.

_If he's got a seven of gears, tap the table twice._

I pretended not to hear him. And that was a little difficult too, because he kept being disappointed that I wouldn't help him. I was pretty sure the game would get boring for him if I actually started letting him cheat though.

It got late and eventually Keepsake called a halt and sent us all off to get some recharge.

I could have gotten used to living like this. It made me wonder what life would be like if my creators hadn't died. I couldn't really remember them, but I knew their designations and a little bit about them. My femme creator had been very good friends with Crescent. I almost felt like I knew her from the times when Crescent thought about her. I knew less about my mech creator. Crescent had, for the most part, approved of him, but she hadn't known him very well.

I fell into recharge that off-cycle wondering what he had been like.

* * *

I worked on cleaning cages while Searchlight supervised and entertained the symbionts who'd been let out of their cages. Lakes made sure the newest arrival—a colorful flying symbiont—didn't have any viruses and was in good health. Though I wasn't in the main entrance, I was close enough to hear the conversation happening at the front desk.

"Perhaps you could reconsider. If you just gave them a chance…"

"Absolutely not!" the femme said. "They're a menace!" _This is the last time I get symbionts at a shelter._

"Well, you've got nothing but rust in your helm," Rumble growled, crossing his arms.

"See?" the femme said. "I'm sorry I tried. Goodbye." She stormed away.

Goldsky sighed and commed Keepsake and Lakes, who were the only two working in the shelter at the time besides Searchlight and I. Cam had another job—one of his friends had called him in to help with a programming project. The shelter was his main work, but he was also a decent mechanic and a very good programmer. _"Hey, that femme who took the twin terrors… she just brought them back."_

 _"Oh, Primus,"_ Keepsake sent back. _"Just what we needed. Send them back in, I guess. We'll have to rearrange the cages again."_

Goldsky cut the comm. and looked down at Rumble and Frenzy. "Okay, you two. On through to the back. Keepsake and Lakes want to talk to you."

"Come on, Frenzy," Rumble said, still angry. Frenzy, on the other hand was feeling sad, though not apologetic or regretful at all.

Lakes returned the symbiont he’d been looking at back to its cage and turned around as Rumble and Frenzy came in.

"All right, you two," he said. _They had a chance and they’ll be lucky if they get another one._ He bent down, picked them up, and set them on the table. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"She was stupid," Rumble said.

Frenzy nodded mutely.

"Stupid, huh?" Lakes asked.

"Yeah," Rumble said. "So we smashed her garden up a little, so what?"

"You…"

"Rumble!" Keepsake said. "You realize you can't do things like that. She really seemed nice when she picked you two out."

"Well, she wasn't!"

"She got…" Frenzy said. "She got all upset, cuz I accidentally knocked something over, and then we accidentally spilled a cube of energon all over the place… it was an accident. And we didn't mean to light it on fire neither."

Lakes just put his faceplate in his hands.

"Either," Keepsake corrected.

Lakes moaned.

"Either," Frenzy agreed.

"You are quickly running out of chances," Lakes said.

"Can't you try a little harder?" Keepsake asked. "We'll never find you an owner if you can't learn to behave."

"Well, that one was stupid."

"No, she wasn't," Lakes said, suddenly angry. Both of them were pointedly trying not to think about what would have to happen when the shelter got too full. "She was perfectly fine, and perfectly willing to take you in and take care of you. It's your own fault she brought the two of you back here!"

"Well," Rumble said. "Maybe we just don't want an owner."

"You'd rather stay here the rest of your lives?" Lakes said. "In your little cage in the corner?"

"It's not our fault nobody wants us," Frenzy said, looking down. "Is it?"

Lakes sighed. "Maybe that's a good question to ask yourselves. Soundwave, can you get that new one out of the cage these two used to be in. We'll find somewhere else for him."

I went over to their former cage. A friendly little six-legged symbiont had been put there when they'd left. I let him out, and Rumble and Frenzy came over instead.

"Of course it isn't your fault," Keepsake said. "You just need to do a little bit better."

"It won't matter," Rumble said. "Can't try hard enough to please you and your prissy, civilized tailpipes. We just aren't cut out for that sort of slag and it ain't our fault."

Privately Lakes agreed with the first part of Rumble's declaration. It wouldn't matter if they tried harder.

"Isn't," Keepsake corrected.

 _Hey, Soundwave,_ Ravage thought, _You could take them._

I shook my helm slightly, trying to be subtle so no one else would notice. There was no way Crescent would let me do that. And as much as I'd love to hear the shock and outrage in her processor when Rumble insulted her or Frenzy broke something of hers, it wouldn't be worth the fallout. She'd just make me get rid of them or have them put down. I couldn't take them.

Besides, I was getting to know some of the other symbionts in the shelter too and if I started adopting them, the others would be jealous or start begging me to take them in. Even if Crescent wouldn't mind, there was no way I could take care of _all_ of them.

 _Come on,_ Ravage thought, _I'll keep them in line. I can do that. You know I can._

I didn't respond. I could explain it to him later. He probably wouldn't understand, but I'd try. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't get more pets—especially ones like Rumble and Frenzy.

We finished cleaning out cages and Lakes kicked Searchlight and I out.

"La-akes?"

"Yes, Soundwave? No more slave labor this orn." _I've got to start giving those two something for all their help._

I started to speak, but Searchlight beat me to it.

"It's not slave labor if we volunteer," he said.

"Yes it is. Just voluntary slave labor. What did you want to ask, Soundwave?" _For Primus's sake, Searchlight, don't cut him off like that. If Soundwave wants to say something, it's got to be important._

"Ca-an we take Ru-umble and Frenzy with us for a few joo-oors?"

Lakes considered it. He didn't want them to be rewarded for their bad behavior and he didn't want us getting too attached to them.

 _Please, please, please…_ Frenzy thought.

But he also couldn't bear to keep them inside when this could be one of their last chances to get out into the sunlight, and it wasn't like Searchlight and I would let them run away or anything. "All right."

"Yay!" Frenzy said.

"If the two of them promise to be good," Lakes added.

"I promise!" Frenzy said.

"Hmph," Rumble crossed his arms.

"Rumble," Keepsake said with a warning note in her voice.

"I won't run away," Rumble promised.

Even if he tried, I had Ravage to bring them back. Searchlight let them out of their cage and they followed us out the door, past Goldsky.

"So," Searchlight said. "Where should we go? The park?"

I shrugged.

"We can just walk around I guess."

Ravage leaped from my shoulders to join Rumble and Frenzy on the ground.

There was an empty lot nearby. The symbionts weren't supposed to play in it because it was owned by the city and Keepsake thought it might be dangerous anyway. But we went there, and the twins and Ravage went off for a game of hide and seek among the scrap metal mecha had dumped there.

"Searchlight?" I said. I was pretty sure, but I had to know.

"Yeah?"

"Wha-at happens? When the she-e-elter gets too full?"

"Oh…" Searchlight looked down. _I don't want to say it out loud because_ they _don't know. But… Lakes takes some of them away and puts them down…_

So they were killed. If the shelter got too crowded, some of the symbionts were killed.

"Ru-umble and Frenzy are on the-e-e list, aren't the-ey?"

Searchlight nodded. "If they get adopted, then brought back more than once they automatically go on the list. This is their third time being brought back, and they've barely been here a quartex."

Ravage paused in what he was doing and turned to look at us with a distinct feeling of worry. He had heard the out-loud part of our conversation and knew enough to guess the unspoken part.

Rumble and Frenzy took advantage of his distraction to ambush him from either side.

"Keepsake and Cam used to always tell me they just moved them to a different shelter," Searchlight mused. _I was so mad at them when I found out, but it's the rules the city dictates and it's not like the symbionts have anywhere else to go… the government won't force mecha to keep the pets they buy, and even if they did there'd be a lot who didn't take good care of them. We can't keep them all… I just don't know. I hate it when there's not a clear answer to a problem. Normally, you can tell what the right thing to do is, but I've thought about this one a lot and I still don't have an answer that feels good. I know it's wrong the way we do it, but I don't blame Lakes. I know he hates himself for having to kill them, but if he refuses to do it, they'll replace him, possibly with someone who won't take care of them as well as he does._

I nodded. As much as I didn't like it, it made sense.

"Let's go see if we can get some sort of real game going," Searchlight said. He liked to try to organize games between the symbionts, when he could sneak enough of them out to the lot. It invariably went wrong in one way or another, but some mecha just didn't know how to give up.

We decided on a combination of hide-and-seek and tag because Frenzy still had trouble with the idea of hiding and _waiting_ for someone to come and find him. We played until the sun sank down toward the horizon, and then headed back to the shelter.

* * *

We walked in on an argument at the front desk. Goldsky, usually cheerful and friendly was feeling almost savage.

A mech had apparently come in with _six_ symbionts that he'd bought for his creation and then decided he didn't want. Goldsky had suggested taking them back to the shop he'd bought them from, but he'd claimed the shop wouldn't take them back and somehow an argument had ensued. I wasn't sure exactly what had been said. It was hard to pick out the details when both sides were angry and therefore biased.

"Then just take them and kill them and sell them for parts!" the mech said before turning around. He gasped when he saw me. "What is _that?_ "

That was apparently too much for Goldsky

"Get out!"

The mech stared at me for a few moments, then turned to look at Goldsky again. "Excuse me?"

"I said get out," _Poor Soundwave._

 _Don't tell me that thing's a symbiont or something. No wonder someone didn't want it._ The mech didn't stop staring at me until he was out the door.

"I'm sorry," Goldsky said to me. _Poor mechling. Some mecha are just so rude._

"It's okay," I told her. I really wasn't that offended. I got that often enough that it hardly hurt. It was nice that she cared, though.

Keepsake came out into the room. "What's the shouting… oh my…" _That's a lot of symbionts._

All six of them were huddled together on the front desk, terrified that they were going to be killed and sold for parts.

Then Keepsake looked up at us. "Searchlight!"

"What?"

"You were playing in that empty lot again!"

Searchlight looked down at himself. He was dusty and covered in small scrapes and dents.

"You know you aren't allowed to do that, and it's dangerous besides. Get in here. Soundwave too."

"What about these?" Goldsky gestured to the little symbionts.

"Bring them as well. And you two need to get back in your cage," Keepsake glared at Rumble and Frenzy.

Lakes was more upset about the six little symbionts than the fact that we'd been playing in the empty lot. There was no way they'd all fit in one cage unless they moved someone out of a larger cage, and that wouldn't work because the larger symbionts didn't _fit_ in small cages. In the end, he had to do a lot of rearranging, but managed to get everyone situated in cages with symbionts they weren't likely to fight with.

Then he fixed Searchight up a little, and did the same for the three symbionts we'd been playing with. I had escaped relatively unscathed—it helped to know when someone was about to jump on you.

* * *

Two orns later, the mech who was _actually_ in charge of the shelter showed up. His designation was Tirelink and I could tell as soon as Goldsky welcomed him in that no one liked him.

"Good orn," Lakes said, stepping in front of him as he entered the main room. "It's been a while since you’ve been here." He didn't even try to hide the accusation in his voice.

"You know I'm only here to administrate," Tirelink said. "I have a lot more shelters and charities to look after. Speaking of which, you got a donation. I'll pass it along in a decaorn or so. You'll be able to get some new tools. Lakes, who are these fledglings?"

Cam stepped forward. "Tirelink, sir, you know my creation Searchlight. And this is his friend, Soundwave. They're just helping out—volunteering."

"Hmm," Tirelink said. _Volunteers, huh? I think we_ have _a volunteer program, but I don't think many mecha actually volunteer. We should work on building it up. If we got enough volunteers, I could lay off one or two of the workers at each shelter and give the others a bit of a raise and still save money._ "All right." He walked along the wall, peering into cages. _These are healthy, well-taken care of. I won't have to bother them about that… two in that cage… two in this one… no, that's not acceptable._ "Lakes."

"Yes?"

"Why are these symbionts doubled up? That goes against regulations."

"I've made sure to put the tamer ones together. None of them are going to kill each other."

"I didn't say they would kill each other," Tirelink said. "I said it was against regulations." He continued his inspection, checking on how well the symbionts were being cared for. He was very efficient—not quite cruel. For the most part, he felt pleased about how everything was run here, except for one thing.

"You know the rules," he said after his brief, silent tour. "One symbiont per cage unless the symbionts in question are siblings, and then the maximum is two. This shelter is too crowded. It is unacceptable. Furthermore, we don't have energon to support them all."

Lakes sighed. "I understand."

Tirelink looked down for a moment. _"Goldsky, come in here please."_

A few moments later, Goldsky came in.

"Overall, things seem to be in order here," Tirelink said. "However there are far too many symbionts. You know the regulations. All of you _know_ what you have been hired to do. Please do it."

They all nodded, except for Goldsky, who just crossed her arms.

"I'll stop by again in a few orns to make sure you're back under the limit again."

"Of course," Lakes said.

"Other than that, you're doing well,"

"We could use another worker or two," Keepsake said. "There's more than five of us can do. It's these two fledglings who've made it so we can keep things in order."

"Well, then, maybe you should petition some of the nearby secondary schools for volunteers. Don't the students sometimes need volunteer joors for their classes?"

Keepsake nodded.

"Then that might be a good way to get help. I'm sorry, we can't hire anyone else, we're very tight on credit at the moment." Tirelink left.

No one spoke for a while. At least not out loud.

 _Well I'd better make a list of symbionts who have to go…_ Lakes thought.

 _If he got us a bigger, newer building we wouldn't_ have _this problem._ Goldsky thought.

 _It might be time for me to send the fledglings home,_ Keepsake looked at us.

Some of the symbionts were also worried. The more intelligent ones could sense the tension in the room. The ones who'd been in the shelter long enough knew that when it got too crowded, Lakes took some of them away and didn't bring them back.

"Goldsky," Lakes said. _I shouldn't have put it off so long…_ "Would you compile a list of symbionts who've been rejected, who are unhealthy or old, or particularly difficult to care for?"

Goldsky hesitated, then nodded. _Poor things. I hate it when we have to do this._ She left the room to go work on the list at the desk.

 _Soundwave, Rumble and Frenzy are going to be on that list,_ Ravage thought. _You have to take them in. You_ have _to. They're going to kill them, aren't they?_

I looked down. What could I do? I couldn't keep them at school, and certainly not at Crescent's house.

Goldsky sent Lakes a message over an internal comm. _"Lakes, there aren't enough. We're going to have to get rid of some of the others as well."_

 _"Okay."_ Lakes replied.

_"Here's the list. Who should I add to it?"_

_Soundwave, please…_ Ravage thought.

Lakes looked around the room. He'd pick those he deemed less likely to find owners.

"No," I said.

They all looked at me. I spoke so rarely that they paid attention when I did find my voice.

"I'll take the twi-ins."

Lakes looked down.

"Ta-ake them o-off the list."

 _I don't know…_ "Soundwave…" he said, "We can't just… I don't want to do this either, but…"

"I wi-ill take them."

As I had predicted, many of the symbionts started hoping fervently that I'd take them as well. Some of them voiced it too especially those who thought they might be on the list.

 _Now see what he's done…_ Lakes shuttered his optics.

 _We can't take them all in._ Keepsake looked at me, trying to decide if she should say something.

 _They're not going to be happy if those two get a free pass. It'll mess up the dynamic in here especially if they show up again later._ "Be sure you understand," Cam said, "Before you make this decision, Soundwave. Rumble and Frenzy are not the only two on the list."

"Let him have them," Lakes said.

 _How are you going to take care of them?_ Searchlight wondered.

I didn't have an answer for that question yet. And Cam was right. Ravage's friends weren't the only ones on that list.

"Ca-an I take some o-of the symbionts for a walk?"

They all looked at me with varying levels of suspicion. I didn't care. They could think whatever they wanted.

"Are you…"

"I'm sure," I looked around the room. I picked my symbionts seemingly at random, but I was really choosing certain personality traits, certain colors and styles and frames. Some of them were on Goldsky's list, others were not. I let them out of their cages and toward the door, beckoning Searchlight as I walked past him.

"Guess I'm going with him," Searchlight said. _Soundwave, what are you doing?_

I'd explain later.

I led my crowd of symbionts—Rumble and Frenzy were not among them—out past Goldsky and took a datapad from the corner of her desk.

"Soundwave, what are you…" she trailed off without finishing the question.

I led them all out the front door of the shelter. Most of them were well-behaved enough to stay close, but Ravage growled out a warning in any case. He was very good at retrieving runaways and they all knew it.

"So," Searchlight said. _What the frag are we doing, Soundwave?_

He would see. Instead of answering him, I played him something Tirelink had said earlier. "This shelter's too crowded. It's unacceptable."

"I know," Searchlight said. "But really, what are we doing?"

I expanded my range and led us toward a residential area. I listened for anyone who might want to adopt a symbiont. I didn't explain what I was doing, but when we stopped at the first home I'd decided to stop at, he figured it out.

"Really?"

I nodded and picked up the symbiont that I thought this femme would want.

She was an older femme, living all alone and lonely. I hesitated, then selected another symbiont as well and gave them to Searchlight with Goldsky's datapad.

"You want _me_ to do this?"

What, did he expect _me_ to go talk to mecha? "Y-you talk."

"Oh, right. Okay." _This is a pretty cool idea, 'Wave, but we're going to get into trouble._

I knew that.

Searchlight went up to the door and requested entry. I took the other symbionts out of sight and waited, paying attention to their conversation. Searchlight did his part well. He explained to the old femme that the shelter was too crowded and that they had to find homes for some of the symbionts—he didn't mention that they were going to be killed if we couldn't find homes for them. He thought that might sound a little pushy, and he didn't want anyone to take one in out of guilt.

He introduced the femme to the symbionts and they—understanding the real gravity of the situation—made an effort to look sad and helpless, but also very friendly and well-behaved. The femme caved pretty quickly and Searchlight handed her the datapad with a form pulled up for her to sign. Searchlight thanked her and came back over to me.

 _Why does this feel dishonest?_ he wondered. _I didn't tell her anything but the truth._

I shrugged. It was better to do this than let Lakes kill some of the symbionts. We walked down the street. When we came to a house that I thought would be a good home for a symbiont, I'd send Searchlight to go knock on the door. Most of the time I was right and the owner of the house was glad to take in a pet or two. Other times I was wrong, but by the end of our walk, I was getting better at it, and I had gotten rid of all the symbionts.

We went back to the shelter. Everyone was waiting for us.

"Well…" Cam said, directing his question at Searchlight. "Where are the symbionts?"

"Adopted," Searchlight handed Goldsky the datapad. "See for yourself."

"And how did you two accomplish this?" Lakes asked.

"Well…" Searchlight said. "We kind of went door to door."

"Searchlight!" Keepsake said.

Lakes vented a deep sigh, feeling more than a little relieved, but also disapproving. "That's… definitely illegal. If Tirelink finds out, he'll probably fire all of us and replace us."

"But we don't have to put anyone down," Goldsky said quietly.

"This can't happen again," Lakes said. "If someone complains to the city… I know you were trying to help, but you can't do that again."

"And I'll sti-ill take the-e-em," I pointed to the cage Rumble and Frenzy shared.

"I'm warning you, those two are a handful." Lakes said.

"And doesn't your caretaker hate symbionts?" Cam asked.

"We can keep them for him during the school terms," Keepsake volunteered.

 _What!_ Cam stared at her. "Keepsake…"

"We _can,_ " Keepsake insisted. "I wasn't done civilizing them anyway."

* * *

So, at the end of the orn, Rumble and Frenzy came home with us. They were remarkably quiet and well-behaved, but I knew it wouldn't last. That off-cycle, after Searchlight and his creators had left me alone in the living room, Rumble climbed up onto the couch next to me and Frenzy followed.

"Hey, Soundwave," Rumble said.

"Yes?" I sat up and looked at them so they'd know I was giving them my full attention.

"You don't really want us, do you? You just did that to save our lives."

Frenzy looked down. "No mech ever wants us."

"Ra-avage wants you," I told them. Ravage nodded. "You're hi-i-is friends. And by-y exte-ension, mine." I would take care of them.

Frenzy smiled, but Rumble still wasn't convinced. "Thanks for the save and all, but…"

"Rumble."

He crossed his arms.

"No-o-omech ever wanted me either-er. That's why-y-y we have to sti-ick together, and look o-o-out for each other."

Rumble looked up, then nodded, then finally shrugged and grinned lopsidedly. "Okay," he said. Frenzy hugged my arm and then jumped off the couch. The two of them curled up with Ravage to recharge, and I lay back on the bench, processor full of worry.

When it had just been me and Ravage, it was hard enough to think that I might go insane. Now, with three of them and Searchlight and Ratchet and Keepsake and Cam, I was going to leave a lot more behind. Maybe if I tried hard enough, and stopped feeling sorry for myself I could cope. Expanding my range earlier this orn hadn't given me too bad of a processor ache. And my stutter was improving as well. Maybe I already was coping.

I'd just keep telling myself that.


	16. Camping

As I'd predicted, my new symbionts' good behavior didn't last very long. In fact, by the time Keepsake and Cam were ready to leave for work the next orn, they had spilled a cube of energon, dented several walls, and dumped out Cam's extensive collection of board games all over the floor. There was one they found that included a miniature mass transit system that they were just small enough to fit in. They had a lot of fun riding the transports around the game board.

Keepsake told Searchlight and I to clean it up, which was only fair, and I told Ravage to occupy Rumble and Frenzy while we did so. Then Searchlight's creators left to go to the shelter.

Ravage decided that having a battle in the kitchen was a good way to keep the twins occupied.

After about half a breem, I realized I needed to go in and stop them, but I was too late and the kitchen was already a complete mess. Ravage stopped when he saw me standing in the doorway and started feeling a little guilty. The other two did not stop. Rumble chased Frenzy up onto the table and then caught up and shoved him over. Frenzy tripped into the masterfully-grown crystal formation there, which tipped and then toppled. It wasn't close enough to the edge of the table to fall off, but when it hit, a large branch of it broke. Everyone froze.

 _Oops,_ Rumble thought.

"You!" Frenzy leaped to his pedes and tackled Rumble.

"Ow! Get off!"

Frenzy shoved Rumble off the edge of the table, just as Searchlight came in.

"Scrap…"

Rumble climbed back up onto the table and started chasing Frenzy around again.

"Stop!" Searchlight shouted, and they froze. "That thing!" he pointed at the broken centerpiece, "Was a gift from Keepsake's creator's creator!"

"Sorry," Frenzy said. "Rumble pushed me."

"Out! Go sit on the front steps. BOTH of you!"

Rumble and Frenzy hopped off the table and left the room.

"We're so dead," Searchlight said, going to the table and setting the centerpiece back upright. Then he picked up the broken piece. "So dead. Keepsake's going to be so mad… do you think we could fix this?" _She might notice anyway and then it'll be worse for us. I'm so bad at fixing things anyway… it'll be better to just wait and apologize and let Cam try to put it back together. But we need to do something about those symbionts…_ "Soundwave, can you take them out to the park or something? I have to clean up the house."

"Okay."

"Don't bring them back until they're too tired to wreck anything."

I nodded, and beckoned for Ravage to come with me. I took them on a long walk, then to the park where I kept having to herd them away from groups of younglings and explain to everyone that they weren't actually trying to kill each other, just play-fighting.

By the time we got back, I was more tired than they were. Fortunately, I had missed the fallout from Keepsake and Cam coming home to find the centerpiece broken, and I looked so exhausted to her when I came in that she didn't scold me. She just handed me a cube of energon and warned Rumble and Frenzy that she'd kick them out of the house if they ever broke anything like that again.

* * *

The next orn, both Keepsake and Cam were worrying about leaving us at home with the symbionts. Searchlight, though, had an idea.

"Hey, Cam," he said over morning energon. "Can we—I mean Soundwave and his symbionts and I—go camping?"

"What?" Cam asked.

"It'll keep us out of trouble for a couple of orns, and it'll be fun." _I have always wanted to go camping on my own._

"Searchlight, we can't take you camping," Keepsake said. "As much as we would like to, we have work. If you just stay outside at the park, it will probably be fine."

"But we have to come back every off-cycle," Searchlight said. "And you wouldn't need to come with us. I'm almost four vorns old. I can go camping."

 _I'm not sure about that,_ Keepsake thought. "Where would you go? How would you carry everything? You can't transform yet, and you don't have subspace…"

"Come on, Keepsake, it'll be fine. We can carry everything we need and it'll get Rumble and Frenzy out of the house. Maybe we can even work on convincing them not to trash the place when we come back."

"You want to civilize them by taking them camping?" Keepsake raised an optic ridge.

Cam smirked. _Does seem a little counter-intuitive._

"Rumble, Frenzy?" Searchlight said. "You want to go camping?"

"Yes!" Frenzy said.

"No." Rumble glared.

"I want to," Ravage said. "I've never been camping before."

"No," Keepsake said. "Not without adult supervision." _I know him too well. He has no sense of when something is dangerous and when it isn't…_

"Maybe if you weren't so prone to getting into trouble,” Cam said.

"Come _on_ ," Searchlight said. "I didn't get into any trouble at all this past term."

"You were in detention for two decaorns."

"Okay, maybe I got into a _little_ trouble."

 _There was also that incident where some other students beat him up, but I don't think we can fault him for standing up to bullies._ Cam looked at Keepsake. "Should we let him?"

"I don't think so," Keepsake said.

"He's not going by himself. Soundwave will be going with him." _And Soundwave seems much more level-helmed. I trust him. "_ They'll be fine, as long as they don't go too far away from the city, and as long as they take some sort of communication device in case of emergencies."

Keepsake glared.

"What? Was I supposed to back you up there?"

She sighed and shook her helm. _That would have been nice._

"It's just camping. It's not like he wants to leave the house and move to Blaster City or something like that."

 _I still don't like this…but if he really thinks it will be fine._ "All right," she said. "All right, Searchlight, you can go."

"Thanks, Keepsake," Searchlight grinned at her. "Come on, 'Wave, the camping stuff's in the hall closet.

Cam set his energon down on the table. "Hold on, Searchlight, we said you could go camping. We didn't say you could do it _now._ After Keepsake and I get home from work, I'll drive you out of the city to those old cliffs we found last time, and you fledglings can stay there for a few orns."

 _Oh, awesome._ I saw images of tall, imposing cliffs flash across Searchlight's processor as he accessed memories from the last time he and Cam had gone camping.

Keepsake frowned. "That's a little far, isn't it?"

"It should be fine," Cam said. "Then we'll know exactly where they are, in any case."

That placated Keepsake and they finished their energon in silence.

"So," I said, "Can I-I come to the-e-e shelter?"

"If you really want to," Keepsake said. "But it _is_ your break from school. We don't want you and Searchlight to be working the whole time."

I shrugged. Honestly, I enjoyed it. Of course Searchlight didn't so much and I supposed I had to take that into account. "Okay."

They left for work and Searchlight and I spent all orn trying to come up with games to play that would keep Rumble and Frenzy's attention without letting them destroy the house. We soon discovered that there were not very many of those.

Then Cam came back and helped us get things ready for camping. He put a tent and some rope and knives and a lantern in his subspace as well as enough energon to last several orns,

We all followed him out of the apartment.

"Hmm…" he said, looking us over. "Not sure both of you and all the symbionts will fit in my alt mode. You aren't sparklings anymore. Well, we can try."

He transformed and we managed to all get in. It was cramped and stuffy inside and Searchlight and I had to break up a few fights between Rumble and Frenzy on the way.

When we finally got to our destination, the sun was touching the horizon, lighting up the cliff face so it looked like it was on fire. I felt an odd, overwhelming sense of awe as I stared at the corner between the tall, straight cliff and the flat ground.

We climbed out of Cam's vehicle mode and he transformed and handed us all of our supplies.

"I'll be back in three orns. Comm. us every off-cycle to let us know you're doing all right."

"You want us to check in?" Searchlight asked incredulously.

"Just to let Keepsake know you're still alive," Cam said. "We don't need a detailed report. She just gets worried sometimes."

"Right," Searchlight said.

"Well, you fledglings have fun. There are some cool formations that way," he pointed down the cliff. "You remember from last time we were here, Searchlight. And then feel free to explore. So long as you stay in sight of the cliff, you shouldn't get too badly lost."

"Thanks, Cam," Searchlight said. The symbionts chorused their thanks as well, and I nodded.

Cam transformed and drove away.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Let's get the tent up."

It was dark by the time we got the tent up, and we didn't have time after that to do anything but all climb in and recharge. It took a long time for everyone to settle down, and I couldn't power down until all of the rest of them had.

* * *

I woke when Frenzy dumped half a cube of energon on my screen.

I sat up, gasping and coughing as some of it trickled into my ventilation systems.

Frenzy giggled and ran away. I groaned and got up to stumble out of the tent after him. The sky was clear and cloudless and the sun was rising. It peeked out from behind the cliff, illuminating everything majestically. Cybertron sometimes seemed flat and dull, especially in places like this with plateaus and no cities nearby, but there was something breathtaking about the simplicity of the place. One cliff, one horizon, one sun, inching up the line between the side of the cliff and the sky. Clear-cut shapes—evidence of Primus's perfection if you believed that sort of thing.

Frenzy realized the tent was the only place to hide and ducked past me back into it, but I wasn't really angry. I sat down to watch the sun as it continued to rise. A few breems later, Frenzy woke Ravage up, and my cat thanked the smaller symbiont by picking him up and carrying him to me.

 _Do something about this annoying little scraplet or I will,_ he thought.

Right. I had to be in charge.

"Fre-e-enzy," I said. "Sto-op wasting our e-energon."

"Why?"

"Go sit By-y the cliff for ten bree-eems."

"Why?"

"Go-o sit and think a-about that questi-ion."

"Why?"

"No-ow or I'll let Ravage punish y-you i-inste-e-ead."

Frenzy sighed and went to sit against the cliff. Rumble woke next, then finally Searchlight. We all had some energon—Frenzy had broken into it during the off-cycle but we still had plenty.

"So," Searchlight said. "Let's see if there are any interesting…"

"Help!"

I had been paying attention in the back of my mind to Frenzy, who'd decided to climb the cliff face, but it seemed I hadn't been paying close enough attention. I looked and was surprised at how far up he had gotten.

Searchlight saw him an instant later.

"You idiot!" Rumble said. "Get down."

"I can't get down!"

He was about three times as high as I was tall.

"Ohhhh Primus," Searchlight sighed.

"Help!" Frenzy said again.

"If you push off the cliff, I'll catch you," Searchlight called up to him.

"I can't!" Frenzy said. "I'm going to fall!"

 _That's kind of the point,_ Searchlight though. "I know! I'll catch you."

"He's too scared," I said.

_I'll go get him down._

Ravage no…

But Ravage had already leaped up onto my shoulders, and from there onto the cliff face. He scrambled up to where Frenzy was, but had nowhere to go from there, and then he realized just how _high_ it was.

"Okay," Searchlight said "Grab him and push off."

"Wait…" Ravage called back down, sounding panicked. "I can't…" he slipped almost fell for a moment, but caught himself again. "I'm stuck!"

"I'll go get those two idiots…"

"No!" I grabbed Rumble, then put him on my shoulder for safekeeping.

"Let me down!" Rumble said. "I have to go get Frenzy off of that cliff."

"No," I said. "Y-you'll ju-ust get stuck too-oo."

"So now what?" Searchlight said.

I shrugged.

"I think…" _If we could climb up to the top… we do have a rope. Someone could climb to the top and then tie it to something so the others could climb up, and then we could all climb down again. But that's only if there's something to tie it to, and then we lose the rope in any case. Soundwave, are you good at climbing?_

I shrugged again.

"Real helpful," Searchlight said.

Well, what was _I_ supposed to do? I didn't know how good at climbing I was, I hadn't climbed a cliff before.

Searchlight tried climbing it, intending to try to make it to the top, but he barely made it off the ground before sliding down again. "How the frag did they even get that high?"

"Y-you forgot the ro-ope."

"Oh…"

I took Rumble off of my shoulders and held him out to Searchlight. But when Searchlight took him and tried to put him on his shoulder, the little symbiont kicked his helm and jumped off. He landed on the ground. "You're taking me with you," he growled at me.

I nodded as I bent down to pick up the rope. I held out a hand and let Rumble climb up on my arm and to my shoulder again.

"What are you doing?" Searchlight asked.

I borrowed Rumble's words. "I've got to get Frenzy off of that cliff." Then I slung the rope over my other shoulder and studied the cliff face. It was mostly smooth metal, but there were dents and cracks and rusted spots. The cracks and little ledges were too small for Searchlight's fingers, but mine were thinner. Still, it would be dangerous.

I started up the cliff face slowly and carefully, testing each handhold before trusting my weight to it. My pedes were useless. I had to find large enough cracks for them if I wanted to support myself with them. Frenzy cried out for help and Rumble was my voice shouting back that we were coming. We got to Frenzy, and his brother carefully reached out to grab him and pull him to the safety of my shoulder. Frenzy clung to him, shaking.

"Don't let go," Rumble said.

"Okay."

"Jump down!" Searchlight called.

"Not a chance!" Rumble shouted back. _Clumsy glitch will drop us._

Ravage, a little panicked, scrambled to join the party and climbed onto my other shoulder. My fingers slipped a little.

"Get off!" I whispered. "Ravage I-I-I'm going too-oo fa-a-a-all!"

Ravage, pushed off of me, climbing higher up the cliff face instead, and I lost one hand hold. It seemed suddenly as if everything had been turned upside down, and I scrambled desperately for purchase against the smooth surface of the cliff. Fortunately I found another handhold. Frenzy was screaming, but I knew he and Rumble were all right because I could still feel them clinging to my shoulder. I shuddered, trying to rid myself of the sickening feeling of almost falling.

If I wasn't careful, this would end really badly.

Searchlight was panicking a little too now. I wished they wouldn't. It was so much harder to be calm when everyone around you was freaking out.

"Ju-ump down to-o-o Searchlight," I said quietly. There was no way I could attempt to climb down with them on my shoulders. It was still close enough to the ground that if Searchlight missed them they probably wouldn't sustain any fatal damage.

Rumble wasn't so sure, but he realized that I couldn't help any more and decided since I'd said it would be all right, and he sort of, _sort of_ trusted me, he might as well try.

"We're coming down!" he shouted.

"I'm ready!" Searchlight stared up at us.

I felt them push off of my shoulder. They were still clinging to each other, and I tracked their progress through Searchlight's optics as they fell. I felt the impact when Searchlight caught them and staggered backward.

Good. They were safe. And if I were to let myself fall, at this point, the worst I'd probably get would be a broken leg. That would be no fun, and it would end the camping trip prematurely but I really didn't think I could _climb_ down.

Ravage, on the other hand, had kept going up. He was almost out of my range. There was no _way_ he'd survive from as high as he was now, and no way Searchlight could have caught him, even if he was still at the same place I was.

So I decided to stick to the original plan and climb to the top. I followed Ravage up. Before too long, Searchlight and the others were out of my range. I felt blind, so I stopped for a moment and expanded my range. Out here in the middle of nowhere, that wasn't as much of a problem. I felt a little dizzy, but I wasn't sure if that was because of the enlarged range or because of how far from the ground I was.

Ravage stopped and I caught up to him.

"Ke-e-ep going."

_Are we going all the way to the top?_

"Y-yes."

Ravage climbed again, knocking bits of rust down on top of me. Once he kicked free a chunk of metal that bounced off of my screen, scratching it. It hurt enough I had to stop for a moment before resuming my climbing.

I had just about exhausted my strength when I looked down and realized I was only halfway up the cliff face. What had I been thinking? What had _Searchlight_ been thinking? This had been _his_ idea.

My hands shook as I placed them again and again. I could feel my joints weakening a little, but I kept going.

I needed to expand my range every breem or so so I could still feel Searchlight and the twins down at the bottom. The wind was fierce this high up and my sensors picked up the slight but steady drop in atmospheric pressure as I continued. Ravage reached the top, then turned around and waited for me.

I almost fell once more. I got a little too eager and trusted my pede on a thin crack. I slipped, Ravage cried out, and Searchlight froze. The tip of one of my fingers snapped off and I screamed as well—a sick, sputtering sound.

But I managed to hang on. I was exhausted and my joints protested every movement, but knew I couldn't let myself fall or I would die.

I placed my injured hand in the next handhold and kept going.

By the time I dragged myself over the top of the cliff, helped by Ravage, I was venting as hard as I could and still overheating. I waited, kneeling, screen throbbing and hand burning. Both of my hands were scratched and bent out of shape.

 _Soundwave…_ Suddenly Ravage's emotions changed, like someone had dropped a pile of dust on them, burying them.

I looked up.

The top of the cliff wasn't smooth like the side. Just ten paces from the cliff's edge, there was a line of pillars, and behind them another. Pillars and arches—the farther away they were, the taller and thicker they were. It made them look unnatural, because distant things usually looked smaller. Yet there was something oddly elegant about the array. I stood and walked toward the first pillars, pain and exhaustion forgotten. This was beautiful, majestic. Surely this place was some sort of landmark. Why had I never heard of it, or anything like it? Mecha camped at the bottom of the cliff often enough. Had none seen the top?

I came to the nearest pillar. It was only about half as tall as I was, and I hesitated, almost afraid to pass that line.

Ravage crept after me. "Soundwave, I don't like this."

"Why not?" I asked. There was something almost alive about this place. I could hear it, like a thought just out of my range.

I reached out and touched a pillar. It was stronger now, that feeling. And there was a… strange sort of energy I could feel coursing through this pillar, this whole platform.

"Soundwave," Ravage hissed.

I expanded my range farther than I ever had before, trying to reach the edge… the edge of something. I wasn't sure what. I felt dizzy, but some desperate need drove me to spread my range farther. How far could I go? Could my mind encompass all of Cybertron if I pushed it that far?

"Soundwave!"

_Sparkling._

I gasped. Horrible, tank-churning pain and misery swept through me and I stumbled back. The _sorrow_ in that voice. My range snapped back to default an instant later, and the pain was gone as fast as it had appeared. I stood again, slowly, but didn't dare reach out to touch another pillar.

"Soundwave, are you all right?"

I nodded. "This place…"

"I think we should go," Ravage said, and I nodded again. I thought… I thought I'd had heard someone say… what had it said?

The ground trembled and I looked up. The farthermost pillars were sinking away into the ground.

Pit.

I took the rope off of my shoulder. It wasn't going to be long enough to reach the bottom of the cliff. Maybe a little more than half the length it needed to be.

We hadn't thought about that either. Great.

"What?" Ravage asked.

"I need your claws," I said. "We have to split the rope lengthwise and tie the ends together so it's twice as long." I pulled the end of the rope apart. It was made of good, strong metallic fibers, but Ravage's claws cut through it pretty quickly.

The next row of pillars started sinking. I tied one end to the base of the shortest pillar. That way when the pillar sank, the rope would come down again, and we wouldn't lose it. If we didn't make it to the bottom quickly enough, we would fall, but there was nothing else to tie it to.

Ravage was still working on cutting the rope the rest of the way.

I wasn't entirely sure it would hold our weight, but I'd rather test it than be stranded at the top of this cliff.

We got through the whole length of the rope—now two thinner ropes—and I tied the ends together. Then I dropped it over the edge. "Ravage, get on my shoulders."

He complied and I grabbed the rope and started down, rappelling off the side of the cliff. The ropes burned and scraped my hands, and after a while, I had to slow down. I waited at every moment for the rope to go slack, waited to fall ten times as far as Ratchet would have if Motormaster had dropped him off of that roof. But I didn't. In fact, the rope didn't drop until the moment my pedes touched the bottom of the cliff. Then it came down to pile on the ground. I stumbled away from the cliff and nearly fell. Ravage jumped off and Searchlight grabbed my arm to steady me.

"Mech…" his voice was a little shaky. "Primus, I kept thinking you were going to fall."

His worried relief didn't last long, replaced by curiosity. "What's up there?"

I looked up at the edge of the cliff. I didn't want him to insist we go back up there so he could see it. And it had been weird… not something I wanted to talk about. "Not much."

Searchlight gasped. "Your hands."

I looked down and had to stifle a gasp myself. Yes, the frayed rope had scraped off most of my paint and even bit down to the mesh of my palms, and it _hurt,_ but the tip of my finger, which had broken off when I'd slipped, was back as if it had never been gone. I _remembered_ it breaking off.

The scratch on my screen was gone as well. Completely gone. And my hands hadn't just been scratched, they'd been bent and dented.

There was no explanation.

* * *

The camping trip… did not actually go uphill from there. Searchlight decided we should go exploring several times, and if it hadn't been for Ravage and his keen sense of direction, we would have gotten hopelessly lost. Rumble and Frenzy both managed to wander off and we had to go hunt them down. Then, Searchlight blew up the tent, along with about half of our energon. It was an accident, but he almost didn't feel bad about it because it had looked really cool.

Then it rained.

We had to huddle in the corner between the cliff and the ground. The wind, fortunately, was blowing at an angle to the cliff so we weren't too badly hurt, but it was miserable. I crouched over Rumble and Frenzy and Ravage, wincing every time the acid rain hissed against my back and shoulders.

By the time Cam came for us, all of us were ready to go home.

Home, I realized. Searchlight's house was home to me now.

"Okay," Searchlight said as we were watching Cam come closer. "We'll say we forgot to put the acid-rain-proof tarp over the tent and that’s why the tent is gone… and don't mention that we got lost or climbed the cliff."

 _Hmph,_ Rumble thought. _He almost got us killed and now he wants us to keep it quiet, huh?_

Cam drove up and transformed. "Primus," he said as he looked us over. "You mechs look like you’ve been to pit and back." _What happened to them? Did they sit outside in the rain or something? Hang on…_ "Where's the tent?"

"Uh…" Searchlight said. "Well, it rained, and we… uh…"

"You know what, never mind. I needed a new tent soon anyway," Cam said. "Let's get you three back to civilization."

He wasn't really excited about us all piling into him again because we were all dirty. _We're going to need to get them some new paint. Keepsake's going to lose it when she sees them._

He drove us back and Keepsake was waiting for us on the front porch. Rumble jumped out first and Frenzy followed, then Searchlight and I climbed out and Cam transformed.

 _They look like they spent the whole time trying to kill each other._ "Well? Did you have fun?"

"No!" Rumble griped. "Searchlight blew up the tent and Frenzy climbed the cliff and we got lost _three times_ and it rained!"

 _What?_ "You did what!" she stared at Searchlight.

"Totally accidental," Searchlight said. "Except for climbing the cliff… I'm pretty sure Frenzy did that on purpose."

"How high?" Keepsake demanded. _That cliff is dangerous._

"Well, Frenzy didn't get that far before he got stuck and panicked, and then he wouldn't jump down, so Soundwave and Ravage had to go up there too… it got kind of complicated."

Keepsake thought about it for a moment. _Maybe I don't want to know. They all came back alive so maybe I shouldn’t press them..._ "You know what? All’s well that ends well. However, you are _never_ going camping by yourselves again."

"But…" Searchlight said.

"That's final. All right, all of you. Wash racks right now and then we'll see about getting you some paint." She came over and fingered a bare spot on Searchlight's shoulder. "I can see you were out in the rain, weren't you?"

Searchlight shrugged.

"You should have commed us. You should have let us know when Frenzy got stuck on the cliff and we would have gotten help for you. And then with that rain…"

"It wasn't so bad."

"And you blew up the tent?"

"Accident."

Keepsake shook her helm, then looked at Cam. "What did I tell you?"

"Okay, okay," Cam said. "Next time I'll go with them."

"If there _is_ a next time." _Which there won't be, at least not this break, and probably not the next one either._

Searchlight sighed, He probably would have protested, but we were all tired, so we just filed into the apartment.


	17. Welcome Back

Near the end of that decaorn, we got our grades back. It marked the halfway point of the break, which seemed strange to me. I’d never had a break go by so quickly.

Rumble and Frenzy were still… themselves, but they were a little better behaved now that Keepsake had started threatening them with forced camping trips if they stepped out of line.

I had been worried about my grades, but my finals saved me. I'd gotten good scores on all of them, and no one could accuse me of cheating off of the other students because I'd taken the tests alone.

Searchlight had done well in all of his classes. For all his complaining about how much he hated school, he was a good student.

Now that we’d gotten our scores, we could sign up for the next term. Searchlight wanted to try to take at least one class with me and Ratchet and in order to do that, we needed to talk to Ratchet, so we borrowed Cam’s computer a few orns after getting our scores to video conference with him.

"Hi," he said once we’d established the connection, looking even grumpier than I remembered.

"What?" Searchlight asked. _He looks so annoyed._

"Nice of you to comm." Ratchet said. "I almost thought I wouldn't hear from you at all until school started up again."

"Sorry," Searchlight said. _I guess we should probably have messaged him more frequently_. "So, did you get your grades?"

"What do you think?"

"Cool. How did you do?"

"All right.” Ratchet shrugged and stopped looking so angry. "Better than I thought I would."

"So we're thinking the three of us should sign up for a class together."

"I've already signed up for all of my classes."

"Oh… well, which ones?"

"What?"

"What classes do you have?"

Ratchet hesitated, and it was strange for me not to hear his thought process. "Here," he said, and sent us a message with his class list.

Searchlight scrolled through it. "What is this? Science, literature… more science. Ratch, you _do_ know you’re in the political science and government emphasis, right? That’s not the same kind of science as all this…"

"I do have those classes too," Ratchet said, sounding annoyed again. "Just because that's my emphasis doesn't mean that's all I can learn."

"Sure,” Searchlight said. “Well, we were thinking it'd be fun to be in a class together. Maybe you could switch one of…"

"The geology one doesn't have any prerequisites," Ratchet said.

"Geology?" _What the frag makes him think that would be fun?_

I thought of those pillars I'd seen on top of the cliff. Geology might actually be interesting, especially if I could learn something about whatever had happened up there.

"Yes, Geology." Ratchet said.

"That's boring."

"It is not. What sort of a class would _you_ suggest, then?"

"Something fun. And not too hard."

"Geology isn't hard. Besides, I don't want to take some crystal arrangement class or something. Or photography…"

"I didn't mean an art class."

"We co-o-ould do ge-eology," I said.

"There," Ratchet pointed at the screen. "You're outvoted."

Searchlight rolled his optics. _I'm not even sure why he_ has _a geology class. What use is geology anyway? Beyond finding new places to mine energon, that is, and who wants to do that?_

"I bet it ha-as good fi-i-ield trips," I said.

 _That could be true…_ "Fine," Searchlight sighed. "I guess we'll take geology together." _Though it will be boring as pit._

So Searchlight and I signed up for the same geology class that Ratchet was in.

* * *

The next decaorn passed in relative uneventfulness. Strangely enough, by three quarters of the way through the break I was feeling ready to go back to school. The symbiont shelter was nice, but not particularly challenging, and I was excited to get back to learning. That surprised me a little. Breaks at Crescent's house had been long and boring, but I had still always dreaded the coming term.

Maybe it was different because I had friends now. And because I knew I’d be able to take tests by myself.

The vorn ended and a new vorn began. There were celebrations, fireworks, parades, parties. Searchlight's creators brought us along to one—leaving Ravage with instructions to keep Rumble and Frenzy from blowing up the house or getting themselves killed. I got a processor ache but it wasn't that bad.

Then, Searchlight got an upgrade. Keepsake and Cam took him to a medic and brought him back looking much the same as he had when they'd taken him—brown and white and maybe a little taller than before—but he had subspace now. He had to let his systems integrate the upgrade, so we spent the rest of that orn and the next one stuck in Searchlight’s apartment, trying to stop Rumble and Frenzy from destroying everything within their reach—which equated to a lot because they were very good at climbing.

"Hey, 'Wave?" Searchlight asked. We were playing a board game that relied entirely on luck—the only one Cam had that anyone could win when playing against me. "When are _you_ getting an upgrade?"

"I pro-o-obably should soon." I said. I could feel it. It was like a little too much pressure on my spark chamber. Normally I couldn't feel it until I was way past due for an upgrade because everymech's thoughts were in the way, but this time I'd noticed it before it got too bad.

"Yes, you should, because subspace is totally awesome," Searchlight said. He stuck one of the game pieces in his subspace and then tried to pull it out again, but ended up with a datapad he'd put there earlier in the orn. _Oops... when did I...?_ he started pulling things out, looking for the game piece.

It was kind of strange how even though I was spending more time outside and around other mecha, I didn't get processor aches very often—hardly at all. Maybe I was just getting used to it? But that didn't make sense…

"You know it's too bad that you can't stick anything with a spark in subspace, or we could sneak Rumble and Frenzy into the school... or get rid of them for a few joors whenever we wanted to... Here it is." He held up the game piece, then set it back on the board where it belonged and shoved the rest of the junk he'd piled on the floor back into his subspace. "Come to think of it, where _are_ Rumble and Frenzy?" _It's suspiciously quiet in here... oh well, I'm sure we'll find out what they're up to eventually._

I had a sudden realization.

Searchlight tapped the board screen and it told him how many moves he had this turn.

I looked at Ravage, who was sitting by my side, watching the game and pretending to be bored. I always felt better when he was around. And I could concentrate more easily. I'd always thought that that was just because he was comforting… but it was the same with the other symbionts. I felt happiest at the shelter, and I never got a processor ache the orns that I went there. It couldn't just be because they thought things more quietly. I usually had thirty or forty of them in my helm while I was there and even with quieter thoughts, that should have been a little overwhelming, but I always left feeling fine, and with less of a stutter than I'd had in the beginning of the orn.

Searchlight finished his turn. _Soundwave, your move._ "Soundwave?"

Oh. Right. I tapped the board screen and moved one of my pieces three spaces forward.

"You should probably get an upgrade before the term starts."

I nodded. I knew that. It would be really annoying to have to take a few orns off during the school year. That was a sure way to fall behind.

 _You'd have to go and talk to your caretaker about that, wouldn't you?_ He took another turn. He was losing, and wasn't too happy about it. _I am really bored. How about you?_

I nodded.

_We could go to the park._

He wasn't supposed to leave the house until the next orn.

"Keepsake wo-ould be ma-a-ad."

Searchlight sighed. "Yeah…"

Ravage's flicking tail brushed me. _You're talking to him using his thoughts, aren't you?_

Yes I was. What of it?

Ravage, of course, couldn't hear me. It was ironic that I was the one who had to talk to have these conversations. It would be so much easier if it were the other way around.

* * *

I left for Kalis four orns early so I could convince Crescent to take me in for an upgrade. That went about like it always did, with her putting it off until the last breem so that by the time the term started, I was still technically supposed to be recovering.

The assembly hall was full. Not overflowing, but full. Last term, my default range had been wide enough to encompass a little more than a quarter of the enormous room. Now, it was getting dangerously close to a third.

But it wasn't too bad, especially after the break. As long as the assembly didn't last too long, I'd be okay.

Searchlight and Ratchet found me near the back corner of the room—it was quieter back there, because only about a quarter of my spherical range was covering other mecha.

"Hey, 'Wave," Searchlight said and sat down next to me. Ratchet sat on my other side, wishing he could convince us to go sit up at the front.

"So," Searchlight said. "You'll never believe the things Rumble and Frenzy got up to after you left. I think it was your presence that kept them under control. Or maybe Ravage's…"

He talked and I half-listened, because I was starting to feel overwhelmed by everyone's processors. I'd forgotten how distracting it was to be around so many students.

Eventually, when the hall was filled completely, the headmaster got up onto the short stage at the front. I was too far away to hear his thoughts.

"Welcome back, students," he said. "And welcome new students. Welcome old and new teachers, old and new administration." He smiled. "This new term and this new vorn are going to be some of the best this fine school has ever seen. The scores on the entrance examinations have never been higher. Our new students are brighter and more capable than ever before. I ask that the older students welcome the newcomers. We also have a few students who have transferred from far away cities. We even have a student coming to us all the way from Vos for a term. Please make him feel welcome."

There was a wave of whispering. Vos was a long way away. Some students hadn't even _seen_ a seeker before. With how isolationist they were I wasn't sure why a seeker would want to come down to this school.

The headmaster continued his speech, talking about how good the school was and all the students who had learned here and gone on to do important things. He didn't mention the real thing that made this school different, which was that it was one of the only private schools of its prestige in the world that allowed middle and lower class mecha to enroll as students. Part of the reason why it was considered one of the best was that it cared almost as much about academic potential as social standing and therefore attracted a lot of brilliant and talented middle and lower class students.

When the headmaster finished, the crowd split up and separated into individual terms. Ratchet, Searchlight, and I went with the other fourth-term students into a smaller auditorium. There were only about a hundred of us. The seeker was among us. I could feel him wishing he were anywhere but here, hating how low the ceiling was, and wondering how in the universe anyone could stand to be in this room when it was so crowded and there was no window.

Cablereach was in charge of introducing the fourth terms to the general rules as well as things specific to our age group.

"Good orn, all of you," he smiled. "Welcome and welcome back. There are just a few things to go over before we release you to your classes…" He rattled off information about rules and schedules and directed anyone who had questions to the welcome packet that they could download off of the school's open database. "Finally, if you haven't picked an emphasis yet, you have until the end of your first full vorn here. That means that by the end of this term, you need to have picked an emphasis. If you don't pick your emphasis until then, you're going to be scrambling. It's best to have one now. If you need to declare an emphasis, or need to change one, you can come see me. Please don't put it off. Also, if you're transferring from another school, or are new to the school, please come talk to me." He looked pointedly at the seeker, who scowled at him. Then Cablereach glanced at me. _Soundwave, sometime this orn, come find me in my office. Bring Searchlight too, and any other friends who know you can read minds, all right?_

He went on to explain a few more things for the benefit of those students who were new, then asked for questions and finally dismissed us. A small crowd gathered around him to ask specific questions and talk about their emphases.

I still needed to declare my emphasis. I would probably do computer science or something. Not only did I find the subject interesting, it would also make Cablereach my academic counselor. Searchlight and Ratchet were both emphasizing in politics. I thought Searchlight would probably be good at that sort of thing, if he ever grew out of his bad decision-making problem. I wasn't so sure about Ratchet—he'd probably be happier with science, but he was too stubborn to change.

I followed Searchlight and Ratchet, along with the rest of the crowd, out into the hallway. We had a few breems before we needed to go to our next class. I'd left Ravage in my room. He was probably lonely and missing the twins, but that was the price he had to pay to come to school with me. I couldn't take him to class. We stopped at an intersection as students split up.

"Well," Searchlight said. "See you in Geology." _Yuck._

We all went in different directions. I got to my first class, remembering how bleak the previous term had seemed when it had started. Things had changed, though. Not only did I have friends, and not only did I have mecha I could trust who knew I could read minds, _I_ was different.

The seeker was in my second class. The teacher called him up to the front to introduce himself, and he did with a quiet hostility that did not really do justice to the utter contempt he already felt for this school and its teachers and students. I sincerely hoped he wouldn't start spending time with Verdict and his friends. His processor felt a little like theirs.

* * *

Geology was our last class of the orn. Ratchet had gotten there first and saved us seats in the very front of the room.

 _Next orn, I'll get here faster so we can sit in the back,_ Searchlight promised himself as he sat down. _I can't believe we let him talk us into this. Geology._

The room filled. I recognized several of the students from the previous term. That surprised me a little and then I realized that it must be like this all the time for students who didn't have to switch schools every few terms. They came back and the same mecha were in their classes.

The seeker came in and sat as close as he could to the window. About half of the class noticed him, and a lot of them were excited to see him here. He, himself, was significantly less thrilled.

The bell rang for class to start and the teacher got up.

"Good orn, all of you," he said, but neither sounded nor felt like he was having a good orn. "I'm Retroquake. I'm looking forward to having you in my class." _Another batch of students. My, do they look friendly and excited to be here._ His gaze lingered on Searchlight's bored expression and then the seeker's dark scowl. _Just as excited to be back in school as I am._ "This is a geology class. If you didn't sign up for a geology class, then get out."

No one moved.

"Good. Now I'd better start trying to memorize your designations and I want all of you to get to know each other. We're going to be going on a number of field trips, and doing a lot of projects so you'll need to know who everyone is. Let's start in the back. Everymech stand up and tell us your designation, your home city, and your favorite color."

_Favorite color?_

_Yellow_

_That's a silly question_

_Blue_

_Orange_

_Blue_

_Red_

Everyone's thoughts overlapped in a wave of gibberish. Not indecipherable gibberish, though. If they'd all been talking out loud, I'd have just heard an indistinct swell of noise, but thoughts were clearer, each on its own frequency. So instead of one overlapping sound, I got thirty simultaneous bits of information for my processor to organize.

Retroquake went around the room and everyone took turns introducing themselves. Most were from nearby cities. Iacon, Polyhex, and predominantly Kalis. One light gray and purple femme who had been in my history class last term was from Praxus.

The seeker stood when it was his turn. "I'm Thundercracker," he said dully. "I'm from Vos _._ " _As if that wasn't blindingly obvious._ He sat down again.

"Favorite color," Retroquake prompted.

The seeker stood up again. _What a stupid question._ "Hot Pink," he said, voice heavy with sarcasm. Several of the other students giggled, and he sat down again.

 _Well, someone's got an attitude,_ Retroquake thought.

Ratchet got up, then Searchlight, and then it was my turn. I stood.

"I-I'm Soundwave," I said. "From Ka-a-alis." Fragging stutter. "Blue."

I sat down. I wasn't really sure what my favorite color was, but blue was pretty easy to say.

_Huh… it's that one. I've heard about him. I hope he knows cheating won't be tolerated in this class._

The front row finished introducing themselves and the teacher launched into a lecture that threatened to put even Ratchet to sleep, about how Primus had created Cybertron to be perfect.

"Your homework," Retroquake said at the end of the joor. "Is to read chapter 1 of the text by next class period. And by the end of the decaorn, your first assignment will be due. I want each of you to go out into the city and find some evidence of one geological process in chapter 2. Write a paragraph about it. All right, class dismissed."

We all got up and filed out of the room.

"Ratchet," Searchlight said as we went out the door. "I'm going to kill you."

"Hmph," Ratchet said. "I didn't think it was so bad."

"He wa-a-as falling asleep."

"Oh, shut up, Soundwave."

"Hey," Searchlight said. "Don't tell Soundwave to shut up. Ugh. I need some energon. Let's go to the energon hall, then hang out in my room for the rest of the orn." _And not do homework. I'm not ready for homework yet. Why do we have to go to school at all?_

"Fine," Ratchet said. _Hopefully, I'll be able to get most of my homework done._

I followed them. Normally, I took my energon and sneaked it up to my room. That would be even easier now I had subspace. We went through the line and each got a cube.

Ratchet frowned at me as we sat down at a table. _How do you even eat, Soundwave?_

I shrugged and stored my cube in subspace, then pulled out an empty cube. I didn't feel like explaining it. Not that I cared if Ratchet knew, but right now there were too many other mecha around, in hearing range.

But then Ratchet asked out loud. "Hey, Soundwave, you don't have a mouth."

Brilliant deduction, Ratchet.

"How do you eat?"

I shrugged again. Searchlight stuck his finger in his energon and flicked it at Ratchet. "Ask later."

"But really," Ratchet said. "You have to get energon into your systems somehow. Do you have an alternate port? Does your visor screen thing open?"

Everyone nearby was listening now.

 _Primus, Ratchet,_ Searchlight thought. _It's like he doesn't even know how embarrassing he is._

"Well?" Ratchet said.

_Hey, look who's back._

Oh no. Not already.

Verdict nudged Motormaster and the three bullies got up from their table and approached ours. I kicked Searchlight's pede under the table and he looked at me, then followed my nod. _Oh, Primus, not these goons again._

Ratchet saw them as well and ducked a little lower, crossing his arms nervously. Motormaster shot him a nasty grin and he wished he could sink into the ground. He was very tempted to hide under the table, but knew that would make him look childish and cowardly.

"Hey, friends," Verdict smiled.

"I'm sorry," Searchlight said, "Who are you talking to?”

Verdict's smile deepened. "I see you've crawled back from whatever scrap heap you came from."

Searchlight glared. "Go bother a mech who cares."

"Whatever," Verdict said. "But I _think_ you mechs better watch your step this term. Or I _think_ a few of you might have some trouble staying in school." _I bet my creators would believe me if I told them about you, Soundwave._ " _You_ know, I really _do_ think that." He directed his smile at me. The students watching the exchange were a little confused.

Verdict and his friends walked away again. Searchlight downed his energon. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Ratchet quickly finished his cube, and we left the energon hall. I went to get Ravage, and then joined them in their room. Ravage leaped off my shoulders even before I'd gone through the doorway and tackled Ratchet out of his chair with great enthusiasm.

Ratchet cursed at him and climbed back onto the chair.

"Okay," Searchlight said when I'd taken my customary seat at his desk. "What are we going to do about Verdict?"

I shrugged.

"Nothing," Ratchet said. "They're just making empty threats."

"All it would take is for them to say one thing to the wrong mech," Searchlight said, "And then Soundwave is in a lot of trouble."

"Cablereach wa-ants to ta-alk to all o-of us," I said, remembering what he'd told me earlier in the orn.

"When?" Searchlight asked.

I shrugged. "I-I think he-e-e's in his office no-ow."

"Ratchet?"

"Busy."

"It's the first orn of the…"

"I still have homework."

"Come on. You need to come talk to Cablereach with us. Ravage should come too."

Ratchet sighed. _Fine._

We got up and I led the way to Cablereach's office. He was alone when I knocked, and let us in.

"Good orn," he said brightly. "Come in and sit down all… four of you."

We sat in the chairs across the desk from him.

"How was your break?" he asked.

"Goo-ood."

"And you two?"

"Fine," Searchlight said. Ratchet shrugged.

"I don't know your designation," Cablereach nodded to Ratchet. "I'm Cablereach by the way."

"Ratchet," Ratchet replied. "Nice to meet you."

"You too. So… we need to talk." _Soundwave, Everyone listening knows you can read minds?_

I nodded.

"As all of you know, Soundwave has a particularly unusual talent.”

Ratchet huffed. _You can say that again._

"I wanted to impress upon you just how important it is that you do not tell anyone or let anyone know. Not your creators, or anyone from home, or any of your other friends."

Searchlight nodded.

"We know that already," Ratchet said.

"I just want to make sure," Cablereach said. "And I want you to tell me if anyone gets suspicious. I, uh… did a little poking around and asking questions over the break—nothing that would let anyone know what I was looking for, but enough that I think I've figured out some of the real possibilities."

I looked down as the information he was about to tell us played through his processor.

"If the wrong mecha—meaning pretty much anyone—were to find out about this, there are a variety of things that could happen. First, it's not impossible that someone might try to kill Soundwave. Mecha will be afraid of what he can do. Secondly, someone might try to kidnap him and use his talents for their own purposes. But the most likely thing in my estimation is that even if someone else were to kidnap him and use him, the government would eventually end up in possession of him. Our government is… not doing so well right now from a moral standpoint. They would probably allow their scientists to experiment on him in ways that are usually illegal, trying to reverse engineer and replicate whatever it is that gives Soundwave his abilities. Barring that, he'd probably end up enslaved, and working as a spy or a security system somewhere." _And I don't even need to explain how horrible that would be for him._ "In any case, if someone untrustworthy finds out, there's a high chance Soundwave will disappear and none of you will ever see him again."

Ravage dug his claws into my shoulders, growling quietly. _I won't let that happen. None of it._

 _And,_ Cablereach added to himself. _If they did manage to replicate his abilities we would all be in trouble. The Council already has too much power..._ He looked at each of us in turn. "I don't want to… no, no, I _do_ want to scare you. I know you're still just fledglings, but this is every bit as serious as I make it sound."

"Would it be safer if Soundwave didn't go to this school?" Ratchet asked.

"I don't know," Cablereach said. "In all honesty, I don't know. A few of the other students know about him, correct?"

"Yes," Searchlight said. "We saw them this orn in the energon hall. They basically threatened to tell someone."

"That's very dangerous," Cablereach said. "Do you want me to try to talk to them for you?"

I shook my helm.

"Part of me thinks they'd be more eager to tell someone if they understood the consequences," Ratchet said.

Cablereach sighed. _As much as I don't want to agree with that…_ "All right. But I want you four to be extra careful. Don't try to provoke them, please. If they tell anyone and you find out about it, come directly to me. I have friends in high enough places I might be able to get Soundwave somewhere safe before it's too late. Maybe."

"Okay," Searchlight said. "We can try." _If stepping down to the bullies means keeping Soundwave's powers a secret, I can do it._

" _I_ don't have any problem with trying to stay out of their way," Ratchet said.

"Thank you," Cablereach said. "And thank you for coming. You can leave, except for Soundwave. I need to talk to him for a breem."

Searchlight and Ratchet hesitated.

"Unless there was anything else you two needed to talk about with me?"

Searchlight shook his helm.

"Ra-avage, go with Searchlight," I said.

Ravage nodded and hopped off of my shoulders. The three of them left.

"So," Cablereach said. "How are you really doing?" He pushed a datapad across the desk for me to type on.

[Fine. The break was really nice]

"Good. Any more interesting things you found out about your mind reading?"

I thought back. [Yes. I realized that I don't get as much of a processor ache around symbionts. I have no idea why.]

"Huh," Cablereach said. "That's interesting."

[and I] I hesitated [Well, at one point we were camping and I decided to see how far I could expand my range.]

"Really?" Cablereach frowned. _That sounds dangerous._

[Yes. But then something strange happened. I can't quite explain it] There had been a voice. It had called me 'sparkling' and it had sounded very sad. Primus? Had I brushed minds with God? I didn't know if that was possible, or why Primus would bother to speak to me even if it was.

"Well, I wouldn't do anything like that without being very careful. What if you got to a certain size and your range stuck there? That could be disastrous."

I nodded. I wouldn't do it again.

"Have you had any luck figuring out how to make your range shrink?"

[No]

I had no idea how to even attempt that. What I did to expand my range couldn't be done the other way. It was like pushing on outward on a smooth glass sphere. I could stretch it out, but there was no way to get the purchase I needed to draw it back in.

He asked a few more questions and then told me about some theories he had. "You know," he said at length, "When you're older, I do know a few mechs you might be able to trust. Are you planning on going to the Iacon Academy after this?"

I shrugged. I hadn't ever really expected to be sane that long and even if I was… I typed [It's too crowded]

Cablereach frowned. "that… admittedly, that's a problem. But maybe by then we'll have been able to figure something out about your range. I know a good teacher there—one of my best friends actually—who's very trustworthy. He'd be better than me at finding solutions to your problems anyway. Do you know what you want to do after school?"

[I have no idea]

"Whatever you do, you'll excel at it. You've got an advantage." _You have potential to do nearly anything, Soundwave. Which, of course, is why you have to keep yourself away from those who would use you._

[It's not just an advantage, it's also a disadvantage]

"Yes," Cablereach admitted. _But every advantage is a disadvantage until you learn how to control it._

That was true.

_Learn to control your advantages, Soundwave, and you can do anything. That puts a lot of responsibility on you, doesn't it?_

I nodded, and was suddenly reminded of when I'd scared Crescent into letting me stay at the school. That had been wrong.

But I didn't want to confess to Cablereach. He was a good teacher—a wise mech, and almost a friend. I didn't want to feel his disappointment.

He sensed my discomfort somehow. "Don't worry," he said. "You'll do fine. You can figure this out."

"Tha-anks," I said.

"You can go join your friends now, unless there was something else you wanted to talk about."

"No. Tha-ank you though. For e-e-everything."

"No problem."

I left his office. Thinking about the future bothered me. I'd never done it much before. I didn't _want_ the potential I had. I hadn't asked to have psychic powers.

And to be honest, the responsibility associated with it was terrifying.


	18. Back-Up

Searchlight's resolution to avoid the bullies lasted a depressingly short time. We were leaving geology two orns later when we saw them in the hallway. One of the students from our geology class, the Praxian femme designated Breeze, was walking ahead of us when Jazz stuck his pede out to trip her. She noticed and jumped out of the way, but dropped the stylus and datapad she was carrying.

"Here, let me get that for ya." Jazz dodged in and picked the stylus up off the ground.

"Hey!" Breeze said, picking up her datapad.

He held out the stylus to her and she reached for it, but then he pulled back at the last instant and her fingers grasped thin atmosphere.

"Don't ya want it?"

Breeze lunged for it again and missed again, but her momentum brought her close enough to the other two so that Motormaster could reach out and flick her doorwing.

"Ow!" She reeled back and Verdict caught her arm. She dropped her datapad again as she tried to pull away from him. "Let go!"

He let go and she stumbled away.

"What's this?" Jazz asked, picking up the datapad.

"Come on," Breeze said. "Give it back."

"Hang on, I want to see what you're always drawing in here instead of taking notes in class," Jazz said.

We had all stopped to watch, but now Searchlight was fed up. He walked over to Jazz and grabbed the datapad right out of his fingers.

Jazz stared. "'Scuse me, I was looking at that."

"Here," Searchlight held out the datapad to Breeze.

She took it, lip plates parted slightly as she stared at him. Her core couldn’t seem to decide whether to feel paralyzing embarrassment or powerful elation. _Oh, Primus…_

Oh, Primus.

Searchlight turned his attention back to the bullies.

Motormaster pushed off of the wall. "Want to finish what we started on the roof last term?"

"Oh, please," Searchlight said. “You’re going to beat me up in a hallway full of mecha?”

Motormaster considered it. For the most part, the other mecha watching the confrontation got way more interested.

Searchlight addressed Jazz. "You mind giving back the stylus?"

"I do mind," Jazz held it up. "It's a pretty nice one." He spun it through is fingers and it disappeared. _Subspace,_ he thought with a grin. _Don't know how I functioned without it all these vorns._

Motormaster and Verdict came up on either side of Jazz. I would have been worried, but at the moment, I knew we weren't in danger.

"We're going to give you once chance," Verdict said. "If you don't—"

"What's going on?" the geology teacher, Retroquake, came down the hallway.

Verdict frowned. _We need to get those teacher sensing things back. I can't believe they figured out we had them. Probably Soundwave's fault._ "Nothing, Professor."

"Hmph," Retroquake said. _Had you two last term._ He looked at Motormaster and Verdict. _Troublemakers._ "Well, stop it whatever it is." _Nothing, my aft._ "All of you."

"Sure," Searchlight said. "Sorry, Professor. Come on." He led Ratchet and I past the bullies. Breeze followed at a distance, trying to work up the courage to thank Searchlight for standing up for her. When we got out of hearing range of Verdict’s gang, Searchlight sighed. "I'm really sorry, 'Wave. I said I wouldn't—"

"Stop." I said.

"What?"

I looked behind myself at Breeze, who froze.

"Oh," Searchlight followed my gaze. _There I go again, being stupid. I might just have spilled everything to her if you'd let me keep talking._ "Hi!"

Breeze smiled and we stopped to let her catch up. "Hi," she said. "I… I just wanted to say thanks."

"Oh," Searchlight shrugged. "No problem. Sorry I couldn't get your stylus back."

"No, that's all right." She looked down, faceplate warming up. _I can't believe I'm actually talking to him…_

Primus beneath, she had it pretty bad.

"Those three are just stupid." Searchlight said.

"I know." _No duh, you know. That sounded really smart, Breeze._

I had noticed that she liked Searchlight before, but hadn't thought too much of it. A lot of the femmes in our term admired him. I was torn between amusement and wishing she'd just go away.

"So…" Searchlight said, because he didn't like awkward silence. "You're Breeze, right?"

"Yes," Breeze said. _He remembers my designation!_

"I remember you from history last term." _We should get back to the room before Verdict decides to come find us._

"Yeah," Breeze said.

"I'm Searchlight, by the way."

She nodded.

"Well…" Searchlight said. "Uh, see you in geology."

Breeze nodded again and Searchlight turned at the corner. The three of us walked away, down the hall. Breeze was going the same way, but she felt awkward following us, so she waited for a few astroseconds, then followed at a distance, rather glum now that the conversation was over.

Ratchet glanced over his shoulder. _Gah! She's following us. Soundwave, what is she doing? Does she know something?_

I shook my helm.

Searchlight looked at me, wondering what Ratchet had asked me, then looked over his shoulder. _Oh, she's still there. What's her problem? She already thanked us. Is she just going in this direction?_ "Hey, Breeze."

She looked up.

"You don't have to walk by yourself if you're going the same direction."

She caught up again, overcome with embarrassment.

"So," Searchlight said. "Do those idiots bother you a lot?"

She was one of their favorites.

"I don't know," she said. "Do you mean a lot as in frequently or a lot like they really really bother me?" _Because those are two completely different… oh, no, was that kind of a weird question?_

"I don't know," Searchlight said.

"They do pick on me pretty often," Breeze said, doorwings drooping a little. "But it's okay, I'm not complaining or anything."

"It's not okay," Searchlight insisted. "Somemech should do something about it."

 _Like who?_ Breeze wondered. _Like him? Do what? That's really… you know, I want to say brave but actually I think it's more along the lines of insane._

"I mean, I'm not sure exactly _what._ " Searchlight said. "Apparently, even the headmaster can't do anything." _But I'm not about to let them pick on a femme right in front of me._

We got to an intersection and went different ways.

"See you in geology," Searchlight called over his shoulder. Breeze waved and smiled and felt silly for doing both, but congratulated herself for having a conversation with Searchlight.

"She's weird," Ratchet said.

I kind of agreed.

It hurt Breeze's feelings though. She was still close enough to hear us.

"That's not nice." Searchlight said.

 _Whatever. It's true._ Ratchet shrugged. _Is she suspicious about something? She seemed awfully interested in talking to us._

I shook my helm again.

"Let's just get back to the room," _So we can talk out loud. Ravage is right, it's really annoying not being able to hear what Ratchet's asking him._

We made it to Searchlight's room and I went to get Ravage. I wondered if I should just bring Ravage over before classes and leave him there during the orn… no, that would probably not be a good idea. He'd have a lot of fun finding hiding places to hide and jump out at Ratchet from, and I was pretty sure Ratchet would not appreciate that very much.

"So," Searchlight said. “I'm really sorry I spoke up… I don't want to put you in danger, Soundwave. We should have…" It hurt him to say this. "We should have just walked past."

"No," I said. "It's o-okay."

_I don't know if I can do this. It just feels so wrong to let them get away with that sort of thing._

"It's not okay," Ratchet said. "Your heroics are going to get Soundwave killed."

"I know," Searchlight said. "But what should we do? Just let them walk all over everyone?"

"Yes!" Ratchet said. "No one else seems to have this problem. Soundwave was doing it before you came. I was doing it. Everyone was doing it. If you just let them walk all over everyone, then no one gets really badly hurt. I guess we're all cowards or something, but there's not much else you can do against Verdict."

Searchlight sighed. "All right. I can try… but… I don't know. For me, it's not about being scared. I'm scared that you and Soundwave will get hurt and I'm scared of getting kicked out of school, but I'm not scared of them. They're just bullies."

"No, they aren't," Ratchet said. "They're bullies with power."

"A-actually…" I said.

The two of them looked at me. I pulled my datapad from subspace. [They're somewhere in between. His creators are powerful, but Verdict can't really carry out all his threats. Part of the reason he hasn't told anyone about me is because he doesn't think they'll believe him.]

"Doesn't make a difference," Ratchet said. "We don't even want to _risk_ them telling anyone."

[Also, as soon as they tell someone, they can't blackmail us anymore.]

"Whose side are you on!" Ratchet demanded. “I’m trying to save you life!”

[I just think they'll want to hold it over our helms as long as they can. If we completely ignore them, they might get bored and tell someone because of that. Besides, even if we ignore them, they don't intend to leave us alone.]

"Hmmm…" Searchlight said.

[It's probably inevitable that they'll tell someone eventually. Better to at least know when, than to completely avoid them and possibly miss it.]

"Well, if we do stand up to them, then what? We'll just keep getting hurt." Ratchet said. "And it's not an inevitability that they tell someone. The angrier we make them, the harder they'll try to find some proof."

"We won this orn," Searchlight said. "Sort of. We got them to leave Breeze alone… at least for now."

Ratchet glared. "Do what you want, but if Soundwave disappears and we never see him again, I'm blaming you."

Searchlight huffed. "Funny how you say that, but it was _you_ who told the bullies in the first place."

"I…" Ratchet froze.

Ravage growled. _You did not just say that._

"Sorry, Ratchet," Searchlight said quickly. "I didn't mean that."

"It's true though," Ratchet said quietly.

"No."

"Don't patronize me! I know what I did." _Primus, if I'd realized what a big deal it was, I would have held out longer. Now if Soundwave disappears, I'll know it's my fault. It'll be my fault._

"No-o." I said firmly.

Ratchet didn't argue, but he wasn't convinced. We all got to work on homework after that, except for Ravage, who curled up under Ratchet's chair and took a nap.

* * *

I didn't realize what Verdict had decided to do until two orns later. I was walking in a hallway adjacent to the one they were in. The seeker, Thundercracker, was walking toward them, bored and completely unsuspecting.

"Hey," Verdict said.

Thundercracker stopped.

"You're that seeker."

Thundercracker sighed. _How clever of them to figure that out on their own._ "No kidding."

Jazz, walking just behind Verdict, had to fight a smile.

"Verdict," Verdict introduced himself.

"I've heard of you."

"Really?" Verdict asked. "Me?"

"No, the other Verdict. The first-term with too many fingers and bright orange optics."

Verdict crossed his arms. "Sarcastic much?"

"Never."

Motormaster was still trying to recall if he'd seen a first-term student with the qualities Thundercracker had described.

Verdict smiled. "In any case, we thought you might want to come have energon at our table in the energon hall. We noticed you sitting by yourself in the corner."

"No," Thundercracker said. "I don't want to join your cute little club. Thanks for thinking of me, though." _Stupid ground pounders. Everymech wants to be friends with the seeker, because he's_ cool. _I hate all of them._

He walked away.

"Huh," Jazz said. "Guess he's not interested."

"Well, we've already got a couple more. Sixth and seventh vorns even. And we've got time." _Soundwave can hide Searchlight from the three of us, but he can't hide from everyone._

They were recruiting. This was very bad news.

In the time before geology started that orn, I typed out what I had overheard to show Ratchet and Searchlight.

"Oh no, we're so dead," Ratchet whispered.

"So that's how they want to do this," Searchlight said. _We'll just see about that. If he gets back-up, I get back-up._

Oh, great.

* * *

"Hey, Breeze."

Class was over now and we ought to be heading back to Searchlight's room, but he had other plans.

"Oh, hey," Breeze said. _Primus, he’s talking to me again! What do I do?_

"You busy?"

"Not at the moment."

"Come talk to us in the library," Searchlight said.

"Okay, sure." Breeze looked at me, then Ratchet. _You know, the two of them are both kind of weird. Soundwave's downright creepy and that other one… I can't remember his designation. But I will gladly hang out with them if it means I get to hang out with Searchlight._

She followed us to the library. _Why here?_ She wondered. _Is there some significance in that? Besides, you aren't really supposed to talk in here._

We all filed into the library and Searchlight led the way to a sheltered dead end.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "I bet you're all kind of confused."

I nodded, though I wasn't. I just thought he was crazy.

"We aren't supposed to have conversations in here," Ratchet said. "If the archivist…"

"Oh, just be quiet, it's the first place I could think of. So… Breeze. Did you know Verdict's expanding his following?"

Breeze shook her helm. "He is?" _That's bad._

"Yes. I've got the feeling things are going to get a lot worse around here if Verdict gets some of the older students under his creators' protection."

Breeze nodded, though she was only half-listening, mostly still trying to decide if the fact that Searchlight had invited her to this conversation meant he liked her.

"So," Searchlight said. "I thought we might try to stop this before it starts. Put an end to it before they really get going."

"Like what do you mean?" Breeze asked.

"Like… if we get enough mecha to stand up to them, they’ll have to stop. I know most of the school knows what they do, and most of the students don't like it. So if we got enough mecha to tell them to knock it off… they can't bully _all_ of us, and Verdict's creators can't scare _all_ of us collectively into submission."

Breeze nodded. "Okay… I guess that's true, but what do I have do with it?"

Searchlight shrugged. "You said the bullies bother you. I thought you might want to help. We could really use your help."

"In taking them down?"

"Yes, are you in?"

 _Oh, Primus, I just can't possibly say no._ "Yes!"

"Hold on!" Ratchet said. _We're supposed to be keeping a low profile, Searchlight, slag it._

"No," Searchlight said. "I'm sick of them pushing everyone around."

Ratchet sighed and mumbled something about Searchlight being crazy.

"And if they're building up their numbers, we're going to need back-up too."

"But…"

"It's okay," Searchlight said.

_It is not okay!_

"So, is there a plan?" Breeze asked.

"Right now," Searchlight said, "The plan is to come up with the designations of everyone they like to pick on, and we'll talk to all of them and ask if they're interested in taking a stand. Sound good?"

Breeze nodded.

"And then we'll talk about other plans later. Designations." _I need designations._

He looked at me. I could help with that.

This was really crazy, though. And something told me it would not end well.

"I get it," Searchlight said, noticing my hesitation. "But they're already building up their numbers. Things are going to get worse whether or not we do something about it. I'd rather do something than sit and wait."

I looked down. It made perfect sense in his processor. He figured if enough students stood up, the bullies would back down. I didn't really know if that was the case. Verdict wasn't really the type to back down. Then again, he wasn't really brave. In fact, the biggest reason that they'd started going after Searchlight was that he was a threat to their authority. If he could pull something like this off, then maybe they _would_ back down.

And then start plotting their revenge, of course.

_Come on, Soundwave. I think this could work, if we do it right._

He was right that things were going to get worse either way. I could think of a few ways this could lead to things getting _more_ worse, but he was pretty much determined at this point. "Fine," I said.

"What!" Ratchet demanded. "Have you _all_ gone insane?"

The archivist heard and came over. "Out," she said. "This isn't a socializing room—some mecha are trying to study in here."

"Sorry," Searchlight said.

We all got up and followed him out of the library, leaving the archivist standing there, somewhat suspicious, wondering what exactly Ratchet thought we were doing that was crazy.

"We need a better meeting place," Searchlight said once we were out in the hallway. _We could meet in my room, but I don't think we could fit more than like ten mecha in there._

"So-ome classrooms don't ge-e-et used," I said.

"Good. Find us an empty one."

I nodded.

"And if all of you can come up with lists of mecha who you know the bullies pick on, that would be great. Actually…" He made to reach in his pack for a datapad and then realized he wasn't carrying it. _Oh. Subspace. Duh._ He pulled a datapad out of subspace. "We can start coming up with the list now."

Searchlight knew some other students who got picked on, and Breeze thought of a few. I didn't chip in. I'd just take the datapad from him when he'd run out of designations, and add to it. A breem or so later, they couldn't think of anyone else, and so Searchilght suggested that we try to talk to some of the mecha on the list, and then meet the next orn.

Then, Searchlight, Ratchet and I headed for Searchilght's room and Breeze went the other way.

"I hope you realize this is a bad idea," Ratchet said. "It's a really bad idea."

"I want to see if it works," Searchlight replied. "I've never tried anything like this before. And like Soundwave said, it's not like they're ever going to leave us alone."

"You're going to get us all killed!"

"Don't be so dramatic."

"Just wait and see."

"Calm down, Ratch."

"No! What about him!" He pointed at me.

We got to Searchlight and Ratchet's room.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "I honestly don't think this is going to make that any worse. I mean, how likely is it that Verdict will be able to convince anyone you can read minds? How well does he even know it? When Soundwave convinced them of that, we were up on the roof late in the off-cycle. Could we just pretend you lied? I mean, if you'd only said it to me once, then I'd question whether you could actually do it. If we insisted that we were just joking…"

"Ja-azz would kno-ow we were bluffing," I said.

Searchlight sighed. "You know, if you think this is going to be riskier… If you don't want to do this… I'll stop. I'll give up on this whole fighting back thing, I promise. But if you’re okay with it…"

I wished I could ask him to stop, but I was pretty sure his resolve would only last until the next time he saw the bullies. Searchlight would try, but he wasn't going to give up and the bullies weren't going to give up either.

And as crazy as it sounded, a tiny part of me wanted to see if this would work. I borrowed Searchlight's words. "I'm sick of them pushing everyone around."

Searchlight grinned. "Thanks." _I know this is a risk I shouldn't be asking of you._

I borrowed his words again. "Don't be so dramatic."

Then I went to get Ravage so he could jump on Ratchet at least once before the end of the orn. Really, the symbiont needed to do something about that addiction of his.


	19. Declaring War

Searchlight spent the next couple of orns tracking down the students on the list. We had set up a meeting time and place for a few orns in the future, and I'd located a perpetually empty classroom for us to meet in. Searchlight seemed to have moderate success getting other students to promise to come and though Ratchet still didn't approve, even _he_ promised to show up. Unfortunately, the word got around a little more than I felt comfortable with. I heard several students who Searchlight _hadn't_ talked to thinking about it in one of my classes. The real question was whether the bullies knew. If they did, then we were in trouble.

So, the orn before the meeting, I tried to follow the bullies as much as I could, listening to their thoughts. If they knew, then we could switch rooms or change the time or something.

But they seemed oblivious.

I didn't realize what a miracle that fact was until the meeting when thirty students showed up. We'd been expecting twelve at the most. Even Searchlight, who'd been hoping for twenty, was surprised and almost intimidated.

Almost all the chairs were taken. If we had any more students come, we were going to need a bigger classroom. Searchlight sat at the front and waited an extra few breems before getting up to talk. I hadn't been there long enough for the noise of so many processors to start really bothering me, but I hoped Searchlight could keep this short.

"Hey, everyone," he said.

They kept talking.

"Okay," Searchlight said louder. "So you all want to talk about this with me? Settle down, okay?"

They quieted after a few astroseconds. They'd heard about this from their friends, or overheard it in the hallways. A few had been passing by the classroom and wanted to know what was going on in here.

Now they were all quiet on the outside, and staring at Searchlight. He looked pretty relaxed and confident. I was pretty sure I was the only one who knew he was nervous.

"Well," he said. "I guess I should have picked a bigger room."

There was scattered quiet amusement, but no one laughed.

"I admit I didn't expect this much of a turn-out. But that just means Verdict and his gang really are a problem. Really. How many of you have they bullied?" Searchlight raised his hand. Most of the mecha in the audience did so as well. I raised my hand.

"How many of you have they beat up or put in danger?"

Some of the hands went down, including Breeze's, but a good number stayed up.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "How many of you would like to see them stopped?"

Every hand in the room went up.

"Guess that's why you're here, isn't it?" Searchlight asked. "Stupid question. Here, how about a harder one. How many of you have ever stood up to them?"

Hands went down slowly, then cascaded and trickled off again as the last few gave up pretending and only Searchlight held his hand high.

"I have," he said quietly. "And let me tell you I understand where you're all coming from. It's pit standing up to them. And it's pit standing up to them alone. And I wouldn't blame any of you for not wanting to. In fact, I wouldn't blame any of you if you went to them right after this meeting and told them everything I'm going to say."

Two had been considering it. Now they changed their minds, feeling guilty.

"And I wouldn't blame any of you for backing out. They're not going to go down easy, and they're not going to go down without a fight."

The room was dead silent now. Everyone was listening.

"But there are thirty of us," Searchlight said. "If I keep standing up to them on my own, they're just going to keep winning, but if all of you stood with me…"

A hand went up, rather hesitantly.

"Yeah?" Searchlight said.

"But they… they're after _you_ aren't they? Everyone knows it. Isn't it kind of your fight?"

Searchlight thought about that, then nodded. "You're right about that. It's me they're after more than anyone else. And it _is_ my fight. But it's my fight because I made it my fight. Look, it's not just about me, though. If I was the only one they ever hurt, then you all wouldn't be here, would you?"

There was a murmur of agreement.

"So…" Searchlight suddenly looked less sure of himself. "Well… If none of you want to join me, then it can just keep being my fight. But nothing's going to change about the situation unless we make it _our_ fight."

There was quiet, then a femme called out. "What exactly do you want us to do?"

Searchlight smiled a little. "Well, I don't want you to go get yourselves beat up. At least I hope I'm not asking that. Right now, the plan is to get as many mecha as we can. If we've got enough of a group, I think we can just go up to them and talk to them. We'll let them know we aren't going to put up with their scrap any longer. If they don't listen, then we'll get more serious. I've got some ideas, but…they're not really well-developed yet."

The room fell to quiet again.

"So," Searchlight said. "I guess that's what I have to say. Now it's up to you to decide if you're with me or not. The more of us we have, the more likely we are to make an impression on them. Since we had this much of a turn-out this orn, I think it's safe to say we can find enough mecha who are willing to help us with this. I don't want to make you decide right now. I know this is kind of crazy. But I'd kind of like to see how you feel about this. So, by a show of hands, who's with me?"

More than half of the room raised their hands, and most of the others were seriously considering it.

"Great," Searchlight said. "I never expected this many, but now I'm thinking… what the pit, let's get the whole school involved. It's not like we're breaking any rules."

There was a bit of a cheer. Searchlight smiled. "For now, let's close the meeting. But I want to meet again. Next orn, in a different room, though, cuz it's kind of crowded in here. Soundwave, is there a bigger room we could use?"

All of them looked at me. I nodded. "Alpha 105." I even managed to avoid stuttering.

 _Thanks, mech,_ Searchlight though. _Sorry, I didn't think about you having to talk. You did great, though._

Thanks.

"Okay, so I'm open to questions and ideas at this point. Or you can leave if you want. Let anyone know who you think might want to be part of this. We'll meet next orn at this same time and work out a serious plan."

After a few moments, mecha started trickling out. A lot of them went to go up and talk to Searchlight first. We waited until everyone else had left, except for Breeze, who seemed to have decided she was part of our group now.

Then Searchlight came over and sat down at the nearest desk.

"Wow," he said. "I really messed that up, didn't I?"

I shrugged. He hadn't, not really.

 _Does he really think he did?_ Breeze wondered. _Wow._ "No, that was really good," she said. "Seriously."

"You think any of them will come back?" Searchlight wondered.

I nodded.

"I still think this is a terrible idea," Ratchet said. "You're going to get us all in trouble. This is secondary school, not some sort of… can you imagine just for a moment what would happen if the teachers found out about this?"

"Oh, come on, tell me what rule we're breaking," Searchlight said. "It'll be fine. I'm just surprised so many mecha came. Let's go get some energon. Coming, Breeze?"

She nodded. Searchlight seemed perfectly willing to accept her into the circle. Ratchet wasn't so pleased about that, and I didn't know how I felt about it either. She was just some random femme, and she mostly cared about this because she liked Searchlight. Searchlight, of course, was completely oblivious to that. It had been amusing at first, but now it was getting really old.

We walked through the halls together.

"So," Breeze said. "You think this will really work? Just going up to them with fifty mecha and telling them to stop?"

"Well," Searchlight said. "The teachers have proven they aren't going to do anything, and the bullies can't fight _all_ of us."

_No!_

I stumbled a little as a wall of pure terror hit me.

_Let me out! Help!_

"'Wave?" Searchlight looked at me.

The bullies were at the edge of my range, amused. If they could feel the pure, desperate fear… I had never _felt_ someone that panicked before.

But I couldn't say anything with Breeze here.

So I turned and walked the other way, hoping Searchlight would follow, because I needed back-up. The others were confused, but Searchlight guessed that I'd be more willing to talk where Breeze couldn't hear.

"You two go on. I'll see what's up with him," Searchlight said and left Ratchet and Breeze standing alone. _'Wave, what is it?_

I motioned for him to follow, and he did so, then I doubled back as soon as possible, pushing my range out a little as I went so I could see where the bullies were.

"So," Searchlight said. _What's up?_

"Verdict," I told him.

"Oh… what are they doing?"

I hesitated. It… would not be good to just show up by ourselves. They did still outnumber us.

I changed directions.

"Where are we going?" Searchlight asked.

"Cablere-each."

His office was just in the next hallway over. I could still hear the intense panic of the mech the bullies were tormenting. I wasn't even sure who it was. From the bullies' point of view, they were just holding the door of a smallish closet closed, laughing as whoever was in there fought desperately to get out.

Cablereach's office door opened for us and he looked up, suddenly alarmed. "Everything all right?" he asked.

"Ve-erdict and the o-o-others ha-ave shut so-omeone in a clo-o-oset," I stuttered.

"What was that?" Cablereach asked.

"The bullies," Searchlight said. "They've shut someone in a closet or something. I think they're still there too."

"Where?" Cablereach got up from his desk.

They followed me out of the office and down the hallway. The bullies were still there when we came around the corner. They stopped and backed away from the closet door.

"What are you doing!" Cablereach demanded.

They ran. Searchlight wanted to go after them, but Cablereach was more worried about whoever was trapped. He opened the closet door and a mech shot out. He crashed into the wall across the hallway and sank to the ground, gasping and sobbing.

The seeker.

 _Oh, Primus…_ Cablereach thought. "Are you all right?"

Thundercracker quieted, and then got up slowly.

"Thundercracker?"

The dark blue seeker glared at us and stormed off. _Primus-cursed place. I_ hate _this school, I can't stand it any longer…_

 _They_ cannot _do that!_ Cablereach thought. _I'm going right to Graycharter and he is going to call them to his office and we will make_ sure _this doesn't happen again. You do_ not _shove a seeker in a closet, you do_ not!

"I hate that they get away with stuff like this," Searchlight said.

Cablereach looked down. "Oh they’re not getting away with it this time—I personally witnessed that. You two have a good rest of the orn. Thank you for coming to me with this instead of trying to handle it yourself, Searchlight."

Thundercracker, at the edge of my range, dragged open a window in the nearest classroom, then climbed out. He leaped and transformed before flying away. Apparently, seekers got alt modes at a younger age than we did.

We went to the energon hall where we found Breeze and Ratchet sitting at a table together, not talking to each other. Breeze noticed us when we came in, but Ratchet jumped when Searchlight sat down next to him.

"So what happened?" Breeze asked.

"Verdict, Jazz, and Motormaster were shoving that seeker fledgling into a closet."

Breeze gasped. "No…"

"Yeah. If I was even questioning whether or not we needed to do something about them, that's over."

"You can't just… is he okay?"

"The seeker? He stormed off. I don't know where he went."

"Someone should go make sure he's okay," Breeze said, standing up.

"He probably do-oesn't want co-ompany," I said softly. Besides, he had left the building.

"We can ask him next orn in geology," Searchlight said.

Breeze sat down slowly again. _Hang on… how did they know._ "How did you know they were doing that?" she asked. _That couldn't have been why Soundwave randomly turned and walked the other way… could it?_

"Uh…" Searchlight said. "Well, we were on our way to the energon hall when we saw them."

"Oh…" Breeze said. _So why did Soundwave stop? I guess that's not really my business or anything._

Nope. It wasn't.

* * *

We did see Thundercracker the next orn. He was sulking in his usual seat by the door. I tried to warn Searchlight not to go talk to him after class, but he didn't listen.

"Hey," Searchlight caught up to the seeker.

Thundercracker walked more quickly. _I am not talking to_ you.

"Hey, Thundercracker."

The rest of us hurried to catch up to them. Thundercracker led us to an empty hallway, then rounded on Searchlight.

"No," he said. "I am not interested in anything you have to say. I will _not_ be one of your merry band of misfits. I don't want your pity or your kindness or anything you think you have to offer me. Leave me alone, you lowborn piece of scrap metal." He turned and walked away.

"Well, that was rude," Ratchet said.

"He just misses home, probably," Searchlight shrugged.

"No-o-o," I said. "I-I don't think so." We all watched him go around the corner.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Let's get to that meeting."

He led the way to the room we'd decided to use for the next meeting. It was one of the large classrooms on the third floor, and even if a fourth of the school showed up, it wouldn't be crowded.

We had about fifty that time. Searchlight talked again about standing up to the bullies. His plan was really very simple. Verdict and his friends usually spent a joor or two out in the yard every orn after school, and that would be the best time to approach them. We would get a big group together and go talk to them. Searchlight would warn them that we were done letting them walk all over us, and that if they kept bothering the other students, they were going to meet some resistance. His hope was that that would dissuade them, but if it didn't, he was already working on some ideas to help the other students stand up to them without getting hurt.

He came up with a date and a time for our first move. I could feel a good deal of apprehension from the assembled students, but most of them seemed like they'd actually come. Ratchet still thought the whole thing was a bad idea, but even he was planning to join us.

I tried to ignore the disturbing feeling that for whatever reason, this wasn't going to go well. I was almost even tempted to go to Cablereach about it, but that would be a betrayal of Searchlight's trust and I couldn't do that.

I needed to think though, and be alone for a while, so I went to the library that off-cycle. There were usually mecha there, and sometimes they were pretty focused on what they were doing, which made them noisy, but it was almost never crowded. If I _really_ wanted some quiet, I could go up to the roof, but that was technically not allowed, and I liked being around computers and datapads.

I got on a computer console and pretended to be studying for the computers class I was taking from Cablereach. I wasn't paying that much attention to the other mecha around me, but I did notice when Jazz came in.

I sighed and started saving my progress. If he saw me, I'd have trouble. I should leave before that happened. I would go up to the roof instead. I got off the console and made for the door, careful to stay mostly out of sight.

Jazz saw me anyway. We stared at each other for a moment.

_I should probably try ta threaten you or something, shouldn't I?_

I didn't move.

_Nah, it's not worth it._

Thank Primus. I fled the library and headed up to the roof. By the time I was on the last flight of stairs up, I could tell there already _was_ someone on the roof. Thundercracker was sitting on the railing, looking out over the city as the sun set, feeling sorry for himself. Well, that was annoying. I spent the next full joor walking around the fourth floor until I found somewhere that was out of range of everyone else.

After a while, I went to my room and listened to Ravage complaining about how I hadn't taken him with me to Searchlight's room. I ignored him, and pretended to do homework until lights-out. Then I curled up on my berth and tried to recharge. I was overly worried about this, and I was annoyed with myself for it but I couldn't shake the anxiety. There were too many things that could go wrong with Searchlight's plan, and I honestly didn't know how the bullies would react. It could push them to tell someone about me. It could get Searchlight in trouble, or even get all of us in trouble. It would be hard for anyone to prove that I could read minds, but if Verdict managed to convince his creators…

I'd told Searchlight this was all right. I'd expected things to move more slowly, though. They were going to confront Verdict, Motormaster, and Jazz in just a few orns. Ravage noticed my worry and curled up against the back of my helm. At least I had one completely reliable friend. I fell eventually into a fitful recharge.


	20. Betrayal

Despite the large numbers of students who'd come to the meetings, there were only about thirty of us who showed up the orn we were going to go confront Verdict. As time went on and everyone realized no one else was coming, they started to worry. 

Searchlight was too excited to care about the tension in the room. He got up as soon as he was certain no one else was coming, and went to the front. "Okay, everyone," he said with an encouraging smile. "I know we haven't had as much of a turnout as we did the last few times but this is way more than I ever expected. We'll outnumber them like eight to one. They won't dare try anything when there are so many of us, and if they do, well, we'll have strength in numbers.

A first term raised his hand hesitantly.

“Yeah?” Searchlight said.

“I thought we were just going to talk to them… Are you sure…?"

"We _are_ going to talk to them," Searchlight said. "At least this time we are. But if they won't back down, and if they keep picking on us, then we've got to keep standing up to them. It shouldn't be that hard once they realize we won't give up. They're just bullies, and bullies are cowards. They _will_ back down, once they realize we’re not smaller than them anymore.” He paused and looked out over the crowd. "Are all of you with me?"

There was some quiet nodding of helms and even a little hesitant cheering. They were still scared, though.

"Good," Searchlight said. _Close enough, at least._ "Let's go give Verdict our ultimatum."

That got a little more cheering. _Primus, what do I have to do to get these mecha excited about something?_ Searchlight wondered.

He led the way into the hall. We made an impressive procession—there _were_ about thirty of us after all. And as we walked, what Searchlight had said sank into many of the students' processors and they started to feel it too. It was almost like a form of energy that brought their thoughts closer to those of the others—like they were all listening in on each others' processors—like all of them could feel each other as they marched toward a common purpose.

Searchlight led them and they responded to his emotions and ideas, emulating them. It hadn't worked until now, and it wasn't affecting me as much because I knew that one of the mechs who had doubts was Searchlight himself. He was certainly excited, but also a little apprehensive. I had to keep trying to convince myself that things would be fine and that this would work. But somehow, I couldn't imagine Verdict stepping back and promising not to bother us anymore. Mecha like Verdict just didn't _do_ that sort of thing.

We got in range of the yard and I knew my instincts had been right.

They were ready for us.

I wanted to tell them all to stop. I wanted to warn Searchlight somehow, but I didn't want anyone wondering how I knew, so I kept quiet, as usual.

Verdict and his gang and more than twenty of the sixth and seventh term students who he'd convinced to join him were waiting outside for us.

There was a bit of a pile-up at the door when Searchlight and the rest realized we were facing four times as many foes as we had thought, but we all got out into the yard eventually.

"Hey, Searchlight.” Verdict stepped forward. "Come to talk?" _Frag, he got more mecha than I thought he would, but there’s still no way they can beat us._

Searchlight stubbornly went to meet him. " _We've_ come to talk. This isn't just about me."

"Then hurry up. I don't have all orn," Verdict said. _I know about your silly little campaign and it isn't going to get you anywhere._

"We're tired of your slag, Verdict," Searchlight said. "We're tired of being harassed and teased. We're tired of being made fun of. We're tired of getting shoved in closets or beat up or dangled off of rooftops. So we've come to tell you that we're through with this. We aren't going to put up with it anymore."

Verdict crossed his arms and looked out over the gathered students, memorizing their faceplates. "Really?"

"This is the one time we're going to warn you. If you don't stop, we won't just let it go anymore. From now on if you hurt one of us, you'll answer to all of us."

An uncertain murmur of agreement rose from Searchlight's group. Verdict' s following weren't feeling so sure of themselves either. Some of them had been bribed into this and a few had even been threatened.

"Oh really?" Verdict stepped forward until he was just arms-length from Searchlight. "What are you going to do? Beat _me_ up?" He shoved Searchlight backward, then turned to the assembled students. "You all know who really runs this school," he said. "I can have any of you expelled. Don't listen to this idiot. He'll just get you into trouble."

Searchlight rushed at Verdict, but Verdict knocked him over easily, and then Motormaster and a fifth term grabbed him and pulled him to his pedes. I watched anxiously as they dragged him toward Verdict's group.

The students Searchlight had rallied were unsure of what to do next.

"So I guess this is it," Searchlight said, twisting to face Verdict. "Your answer is no then."

Verdict ignored him, still talking to the group Searchlight had brought with him. "You'll go back inside if you know what's good for you. If you leave now, I'll let you go. I'll even forgive you for this."

Many of them were afraid. Some of them wanted to take Verdict up on his offer, but no one wanted to be the first to turn around and leave. On Verdict's side, some of the larger mechs were starting to look forward to a fight.

We were going to get hurt. I could hear the promises in the minds across from us. They would beat us to the ground—there were enough of them who wanted to put us in our place.

There were fighters on Searchlight's side as well, hungry for vengeance. But we were the kind of mecha who normally got picked on. The vast majority just didn't want to be here. Maybe some of the students on Verdict's side had been coerced into this, but on Searchlight's side, they'd always been afraid. It wasn't fair to them. It wasn't fair that they should be part of this when all they wanted to do was go back inside and avoid a fight.

A lot of students were going to be hurt. Verdict would get out of it, but Searchlight and Ratchet and I would be expelled. I saw clearly what had been vague before.

This was the end.

The tension was about to break, and no one in Searchlight’s group, no matter how much they wanted to, was going to turn around and walk away.

So I did.

I stepped out of the crowd and turned around. Everyone watched as I walked to the door. I could feel their surprise. I could feel Searchlight's confusion. _'Wave, what are you doing? How can you do this… I thought you were with me on this._

And then after I had gone back inside, the crowd burst in a flood of guilt and relief and almost all of them turned and fled as well.

I hid in the nearest classroom and only had to expand my range a little to find out what was going on. Outside through the minds of those few left—Breeze and Ratchet among them—I could hear Verdict laughing. Searchlight was still watching the door that most of his following had fled through, feeling hopeless and miserable.

Verdict turned to face Searchlight. "I don't even need to beat you up, do I?" he said. "That's what you get for trying to raise an army of cowards. Did you _really_ think this would work?"

Searchlight glared at him.

Verdict snorted. "Let him go," he said.

Motormaster and the other student holding Searchlight shoved him to the ground, and Verdict and the rest of his following went inside to chase the remainder of the fleeing students further into the building.

Searchlight had picked himself up. He looked out over the few who'd stayed. There were nine of them, including Breeze and Ratchet.

"Well," he said. "I guess at least I know who's really serious about this." He looked down. _You still listening, Soundwave?_ He was angry. Of course he was.

"Are we still going to do this?" a mech asked.

"Yes," Searchlight said. "We are. Verdict's answer is no. It's likely he'll keep coming after us, especially now. If any of you want out, I'm sorry, but it might be too late."

"We're with you, Searchlight," one of the others said firmly.

There was a chorus of agreement from the others. I looked down.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Then…" He wasn't sure what to tell them. "Then let's talk about what we're going to do next. I had some good strategy ideas, but they work better if we've got more people. I want to hear your ideas before I put mine forward."

I got up and left the classroom I was hiding in, then headed back toward my room while they tried to work out what to do. I passed the seeker in a hallway and tried to slip past him, but he saw me and recognized me—he'd been looking out a window at the yard and he'd seen the whole thing.

"I don't blame you," he said.

It was the first time I'd heard him say anything civil to anyone. He wasn't even glaring down his olfactory sensor at me.

I stopped.

"Good way to lose a friend, though."

I looked down.

 _That's just the way things go._ Thundercracker thought. _You're the lucky one--you understand. Stand up and tell the truth and you don't last long._

"Mecha we-e-ere going to be hurt."

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess they were." _And I was going to watch. I wasn't going to go get a teacher or go down to help… I was just going to watch. Pretty pathetic._ "So you think you saved them?" _He did walk away first, and prevent the fight. That could have gone badly, but at the same time… those mecha who stayed behind are fragged._

I shrugged. They might be on Verdict’s hit list, but at least they hadn’t been expelled.

 _Well, I think I'm done here. Good job, Thundercracker—you just made this unfortunate grounded simpleton feel even worse about his situation._ He pushed away from the window and walked past me. I took his place and looked out, but Searchlight and the others had gone inside. So I waited for Thundercracker to get far enough away and then followed him down the hall in the direction of my room again.

"Finally," Ravage said when I got there. "Are we going to Searchlight's room?"

I shook my helm and sat down, then pulled out my homework, hoping desperately that Searchlight wouldn't show up at my door and demand to know why I'd abandoned him out there. At the same time, I wanted him to come so I could explain myself.

He didn't.

* * *

I didn't see any of them until geology the next orn. I sat in my typical spot by Searchlight, but I didn't say anything to him. He was waiting for me to, probably expecting an apology or explanation of some sort. But he wasn't going to talk first. He wasn't as angry as I expected him to be. He _was_ angry, but even more than that, he felt hurt and betrayed. In a lot of ways that was worse.

Ratchet was angry, though, and Breeze was confused. She kept thinking about how no one really knew what I was thinking because I was so quiet. She wondered why I had left when Searchlight seemed to trust me so much.

Thundercracker was watching too, with curiosity, to see if we would talk to each other.

"All right," Retroquake said. "Now, it's time for our first group assignment. Get in groups of four and five. You're going to be going on a scavenger hunt through the lower levels of the city."

A femme raised her hand. "Is that safe?"

"It is if you stick together," Retroquake said. "And stay in the places you're supposed to be. Groups of four and five."

I looked down at my desk, then got up to walk away. They didn't want me in their group.

"No, don't," Breeze said. "Soundwave, wait."

I turned to look at her.

 _If he leaves now, he'll leave the group for real. I don't know why he left last orn, but I think Searchlight misses him and would give him another chance._ "You're still with us," she said.

"No," Searchlight said. "He's not."

I hesitated.

"Well, we need four people."

Searchlight wouldn't look at me. _We can find someone else._ "If he wants to leave, let him leave."

 _What if he doesn't want to leave?_ Breeze thought.

Retroquake came over. "Group three," he said, indicting the four of us and set a tablet on Searchlight's desk. "Group four." He pointed to the next group. "Hey, Hot Pink, you go join group three."

Thundercracker glared but didn't say anything. He didn't come over and join us either.

"Is there anyone who has a class after this one?" Retroquake asked.

No one did.

"Okay. Next orn, instead of coming to class, I want all of you to get with your group and go fill out the worksheet. _All_ of you. If anyone ditches their group they'll get a zero for the assignment. It's due the beginning of class in two orns, understood?"

There was general nodding and agreement except for from Thundercracker, who had just realized that 'lower city' had a very real possibility of meaning underground.

Retroquake went back to his lecture.

* * *

After class, I went to my room and did all my homework. Then I sat and tried to remember what I had done with spare time back before I'd been friends with Searchlight.

"Are we going to Searchlight's room?" Ravage asked.

"No."

"Why not?" _Did something happen? What's going on?_

I rubbed the smooth metal surface of my desk with one finger.

"Why not?" Ravage asked again.

"I…" I didn't want to explain it. "We just a-aren't."

"Why…"

"Stop!" I said.

He frowned at me and leaped up onto my desk. _Are you all right?_

"I'm fi-ine."

He climbed onto my shoulders and lay there, worrying about me. I leaned forward and rested my helm in my arms on the desk.

Breeze came into my range. I hoped she was just passing by, but she stopped at my door and stood outside, trying to get up the courage to knock. She was going to come in here and ask me why. But I didn't want to explain it to _her._ I didn't actually care whether she hated me or not, or whether she understood why I left. I didn't know why _she_ cared either.

She almost turned and walked away. For an astrosecond, I hoped. But then she pressed the entry request button. Ravage looked up.

I stood and went over to open the door.

"Hi," she said quietly, staring at Ravage. _That big cat always scares me a little._

I stared at her, hoping she'd do as she was still strongly tempted to and go away. But she took in a deep, calming vent and stayed. "Can I talk to you?"

I didn't answer.

 _Holy Primus, he really does that creepy looming thing right. Why is he so tall? It's not fair._ "Look," she said. "I just wanted to talk. I guess I want to know why you left last orn, but maybe that isn't what matters. You might not be able to tell, but you really hurt Searchlight's feelings leaving like that."

I could tell.

"And if you're sorry about it at all, you have to go talk to him. I bet he'd forgive you."

I almost shut the door on her. What did she know? She'd only been part of the group for a decaorn and not even that. "Why is this yo-o-our conce-ern?"

Her doowwings lifted a little and I was surprised by the force of her anger. "Maybe I don't know you mecha very well, but everyone's feelings matter. You just left us out there, and you brought almost all of the other students with you, but what really matters is that _you_ left, with no warning or explanation or apology, like you just decided it didn't matter anymore. And Searchlight trusted you."

I looked down.

"Why?"

Ravage wanted to know now too.

"They we-ere scared," I said. "They di-i-idn't want to fi-ight. A lo-ot of them we-ere going to ge-et hurt."

Breeze frowned at me. _That's a lot to assume._

No one had wanted to be the first to leave.

"It wasn't about whether or not we were scared," she said. "It was about standing up for what was right."

I shook my helm. "We all wo-o-ould have gotten e-expelled except fo-o-or Verdict."

"You don't know that," Breeze said, but she was thinking now, and she was starting to understand my reasoning, even if she didn't agree with it. "And now the few of us who stayed are bigger targets. And you couldn't be certain that would end with fighting."

I decided not to argue with her.

"I still think you should talk to Searchlight."

"No."

"Why not?"

I had abandoned him out there, and I still didn't think I had been wrong to do so. How could I explain that to him? Besides, he would be fine. Breeze was worried about him, but she didn't understand. Searchlight could make new friends if he wanted. He wasn't like her, or Ratchet, or me. He was good with other mecha. He would never be alone. He didn't _need_ me.

_There's something unusual about him. I don't think it's just his face. I think there's something Searchlight and Ratchet aren't saying about him. What is it?_

I almost closed the door on her again.

"I guess I don't really understand this," Breeze said. "I've only been friends with you and Searchlight and Ratchet for a decaorn or so. But I think you should try to make this better."

I was feeling really done with this conversation. So I stood there and waited for her to give up and go away. It didn't take too long. When it became apparent that I wasn't going to say any more and the silence got too awkward, she turned and left. I closed the door.

"What happened?" Ravage asked.

I explained to him what had happened the orn before and then went back to sulking. Ravage draped himself across my shoulders, content to sulk with me.


	21. Staircases

I might not have talked to anyone the next orn except that we had a project to do. We all met in the geology classroom. Even Thundercracker showed up, though he was nervous about having to go underground to the lower levels of the city.

"Well," Searchlight said. "Let's go find all of this…" He held up the tablet Retroquake had given him. It was just a sheet of metal with the instructions etched into it. "We're supposed to be high tech at this school. This thing is definitely from predacon times."

"Does a-anyone mind if I-I-I bring Ra-avage?" I asked.

They all looked at me. Thundercracker narrowed his optics. _Bring what now?_

Searchlight shrugged. _I don't care._

"Yes," Ratchet snapped. "Don't bring him. I need to concentrate. That thing will probably end up tackling me down some hole that goes all the way to the Core. And besides, we don't have time. Let's just go."

I hurried to get Ravage anyway, and caught up with the others as they were leaving the school.

 _Ah,_ Thundercracker thought. _A big fanged symbiont. Ravage, huh? Good designation—very cute. If this mechling wants to come off as harmless, he's doing it wrong._

"So," Searchlight said. "The closest way to get down to the lower levels is over here." He led us down the street to the corner where there was a staircase going down. Ravage jumped off of my shoulders and walked beside me, excited.

Thundercracker waited until he was last and then followed. _We had better not go through any tunnels. I am not crawling through some rusting tunnel._

The second level—where there was still a lot of sunlight—was crowded and bustling. I almost never came down here, but every once in a while, if I expanded my range too much, I could hear some of the mecha here. We continued down the stairs to the next level, which was relatively empty. Thundercracker was having a hard time with the lack of sky and because it bothered him, it was affecting me too.

Then we went down the spiral stairs another level, and the floor opened out into a vast cavern that stretched farther out and down than we could see. Searchlight considered whether sliding down the stair railing would be a good idea, but decided against it because there was another group of students below us and he didn't want to crash into them.

"Let's do this and then get out of here," Thundercracker said. "What's the first thing on the list?"

"The first thing," Searchlight looked down at the tablet. "We need something mech-made. I think this staircase counts."

"Specifically," Ratchet grabbed the tablet out of Searchlight's hands. "Something made by modern Cybertronians, since the Quintesson Wars."

"This staircase," Searchlight said, "For example."

"Not necessarily," Ratchet said. "We need to check it for perfect symmetry in order to…"

"Look," Searchlight said, "I'm pretty sure anything as fragile as this staircase was probably made _after_ the Quintesson Wars."

Breeze looked down. _Primus, that's a really far drop. I shouldn’t have looked._

"Do you want to fail the assignment?" Ratchet said. "We need to be certain."

"Okay, then look at it!" Searchlight snapped, "And tell me if it was built before or after the wars."

Ratchet looked at the staircase. "Hmph," he said. "Buildings and structures made before the Quintesson wars often take on one of the three hundred and fifty-seven crystalline forms."

 _I really hope the bottom isn't as far away as it looks._ Breeze gripped the railing.

"I don't even know _why_ we need something mech-made," Searchlight said. "This is supposed to be a geology class, not an architecture class."

Breeze forced herself to look away from the distant ground and focus on the conversation. "Well…" she said. "Primus is an architect, right? He did build Cybertron, after all."

Searchlight sighed. "I guess."

Ratchet was studying the staircase. After half a breem, he stood. "We can use this."

We needed a picture of all of us at the location we'd found to prove we actually found it. Breeze had brought a little hovering camera which she pulled out and directed to take a picture of us on the stairs. It did so, then returned to her and she put it back in subspace.

"Okay, next thing," Searchlight said. "We need something that _was_ built before the Quintesson Wars… He really thinks we can find something like that here? Somehow, I doubt the ancients built anything in this cave." He skimmed through the list, which consisted mostly of different shaped pillars, tunnels, and crystal formations.

"How would you know where the ancients did and didn't build?" Ratchet said. "They built things everywhere. They could build whatever they wanted _wherever_ they wanted."

 _I wonder if we'll ever be able to do that again,_ Breeze thought. _Build buildings without touching them._

A long time ago, before the wars, we'd had the technology for that. There were many buildings and other structures still standing that had been built back then. In fact, in some cities such as Vos and Praxus, and parts of Iacon, the majority of buildings had been there since before the wars.

"Well, we could do this one," Searchlight said, pointing to an item about two thirds of the way down the list. "An example of how Primus builds on a larger scale than we need. We can just take a picture of the cavern itself."

"No we can't," Ratchet said. "It's just empty atmosphere."

"Maybe if the camera went far enough away, it could see how big the cavern was…"

"He'll probably think we just took a second picture of the stairs. Besides, that item's supposed to be something like a giant door or…"

"Come on, Ratchet, he's not going to be that strict."

"We'll be able to find better things once we reach the ground."

"What's a better example of something built on a large scale than a giant cavern?"

"I'm with brown and white on this one," Thundercracker said flatly. He was feeling better now that we'd come out into a large space, but he still didn't like the fact that he couldn't see the sky. "The faster we find these things, the faster we can get out of here."

"We are going to follow the instructions," Ratchet said. "Not bend them."

"It's not bending the instructions." Searchlight said. "It's just…"

"Hey," Breeze said. “Can we get to the bottom of the stairs before we make any decisions?" _We need to keep moving. The ground is waaaay too far away, and I'd like to get closer before someone freaks out and pushes someone else over the edge._

We started walking again.

_I wonder if any of us actually would push someone else over the edge… well, the seeker would be all right, wouldn't he since he can fly?_

While she wondered about that, Searchlight noticed that I had fallen back behind the group a little. He debated whether to come talk to me, but he decided against it. He knew I already knew what he thought about me abandoning them the other orn.

Eventually, we got to the bottom of the stairs. There was enough light to see by down here, filtering up from fissures in the ground, and down from cracks in the distant ceiling.

"I still think we should just take a picture of the cavern," Searchlight said.

"Well, don't you think we ought to find the items in order?" Ratchet said.

"No," Searchlight said. "It'll take three times as long."

"But…"

"But what? Do you want it to take us two orns?"

Ratchet grumbled some more, but they talked him into using a picture of the cavern. Two things down, eighteen more to go.

We headed off into the gloom, watching for structures that were on the list. After a few breems, Searchlight had an idea. "If we fan out…"

"Then we can't be in all the pictures when we find something," Ratchet said.

"True…"

"And we'll get lost," he added.

We came to a tall, perfectly spherical pillar and stopped because we needed something like that later on in the list.

"I still think we should do them in order."

Searchlight sighed. "Anymech else want to do it in order?"

Breeze glanced at me, then shook her helm.

"Outvoted," Searchlight said.

Ratchet glared at him. "I refuse to get a bad grade because of you."

"He's not going to know what order we do them in." Searchlight said, "Calm down, would you?"

"It's not just about… ack!"

Ravage, who had showed some real self-control up to this point, had finally given in to temptation and jumped on Ratchet.

Once Ratchet had shoved my cat off of him and gotten back to his pedes, we took a picture by the structure we'd found, and moved on. We went for a while before finding anything else.

"There," Breeze said, pointing into a dark side passage. "There's the second thing we need."

"I don't see anything," Ratchet said.

We followed her anyway, and sure enough there was a small building that looked as if it had been formed before the quintesson wars.

There were still sixteen things on the list.

"Okay" Ratchet said. "Now, let's go back the way we came…"

"Why don't we just keep going this way?" Searchlight looked past the structure to the dark space beyond. "This way seems fine."

"But if we just wander aimlessly, we'll get lost."

"Then we won't wander aimlessly. We'll go this way and remember that this is the way we went."

"Give me that," Ratchet grabbed the tablet, but Searchlight held onto it.

"No. Stop trying to do everything _your_ way, would you?"

"Then stop doing it the _wrong_ way!"

Thundercracker stepped forward and grabbed the tablet from them. "We'll never get anything done if you two don't stop bickering like an old bonded couple. I'll hold onto this." He subspaced it, then jumped and transformed in the air before flying off in the direction Searchlight had suggested we go.

We watched him as he flew away.

"Well, now what?" Ratchet said.

I could have told him that Thundercracker was just scouting ahead and that he'd come back. But I didn't feel up to it, and Breeze would be curious to know how I knew. I liked the quiet and emptiness down here. If it weren't for how long it took to get down all those stairs, I might be tempted to come here when I needed time to myself.

Thundercracker came back in less than a breem and landed. "There's just a dead end that way."

"I told you," Ratchet said.

"No, you said we'd get lost," Searchlight countered.

Thundercracker rolled his optics. "Okay, this is how we're going to do this," he said. _Because you idiots seem to want to keep us down here forever._ "I'll fly ahead and find all of these things and then lead you to them so we can take pictures there."

"That," Ratchet said. "Is cheating and defeats the purpose of the assignment."

Thundercracker didn't argue, just transformed and flew off again.

"You're just jealous because you wanted to do the whole thing yourself," Searchlight said. "Come on, I saw another passage branching off of this one. Let's go see what's down it." He started walking back toward the main cavern.

"But if we don't stay put…"

"He'll be able to find us," Searchlight said over his shoulder. "He can fly and we're just walking. It won't be too far. Stay there if you want, but I'm going exploring."

"We're supposed to stick together," Breeze said.

"I'll be fine." He kept walking.

"You're going to get lost," Ratchet said.

_Soundwave can always find me… never mind. He wouldn't want to expand his range that far._

_Is he really going?_ Breeze wondered. _Should we go with him? At least one of us should go with him, right? I wouldn't mind…_ She took a half-step forward. _But… that might seem kind of weird… I don't know._

I sighed and walked past her, following him. _Someone_ had to go make sure he didn't get lost. He wasn't talking to me, of course, but I didn't mind walking in silence. Besides, Ravage wanted to go exploring too, and he had a good sense of direction.

Searchlight noticed me following him and decided to ignore me. Breeze and Ratchet faded out of my range.

We kept walking.

Eventually, we came to the other side passage and turned down it. It opened up into another cavern. We stopped when we found a tall, spiky crystal structure.

"Oh, look, here's one of the things we need," Searchlight said.

I nodded.

He sighed and we stood there in silence for a breem, with him debating again whether or not he should talk to me. He knew I wasn't going to initiate a conversation, but he _did_ want to try and get an explanation of some sort from me.

I looked down.

"So," Searchlight said. _You left us out there…_ "You know, I don't know if I can really blame you. But Primus, Soundwave, we… _I_ needed you there to back me up. You promised you'd be there to back me up, and yes, I get that it's hard. But if you couldn't do it, you could at least have let me know before leaving and taking everyone else with you. It's going to be twice as hard now to make any headway with Verdict because they think even my best friend is too scared of them to stand up to them."

Silence fell.

 _He doesn't ever have anything to say, does he?_ "I know that you understand," Searchlight said. "I know you know what it felt like when you just… just up and left us."

Breeze and Ratchet came into my range. They'd decided to follow us after all.

"I don't understand," Searchlight said. "Unlike you, I can't read minds…"

Frag it. Shut up, Searchlight. Breeze had heard that.

"…and I don't know what you're thinking. I thought I could trust you, but… I don't even know if you have an excuse for why you left. It must be nice, always knowing what everyone else intends to do all the time."

I looked down.

"Just…" Searchlight said. "Look. I get it if they threatened to expose you. And I know I said I would stop standing up to them, but…" _I just can't stand to let them run the school the way they do._

"I told y-you it's a-all right."

"Then why did you leave?"

"I… tho-o-ought it would pre-event a fight…"

He shook his helm. "That wasn't the point," he said. "You can't just prevent every fight. We were _prepared_ to fight, if it came down to it."

"A-and all get e-expell-lled, or hu-urt."

Searchlight frowned at me. "I guess that might have happened. But not necessarily. Even _you_ couldn't predict how that would have played out."

"We-e had first term stu-u-udents with us."

Searchlight thought about that for a moment. _I guess they could have gotten hurt… but it's not like they didn't choose to be there._

"I'm so-orry."

Searchlight sighed. "I told you I don't blame you."

"Bu-ut that's a lie."

"Not fair, mech." He said, but smiled slightly.

Ratchet and Breeze came around the corner and into view and Searchlight noticed them. _Ugh, I wasn't done talking to him. I guess I get it now, but I don't know if I'll ever trust him again… at least he said he was sorry._

Breeze stared at me. She was very nervous about what she'd heard but wasn't planning on actually asking about it. I'd probably have to go talk to her at some point. Great.

"Well, here's something that's on the list," Ratchet said. "But we aren't all here."

"We could go back to where we were and wait for Thundercracker to come back," Searchlight said.

"If we can find it again," Ratchet said.

"I can find it," Ravage told them.

"Yeah," Searchlight nodded. "It's really hard to get lost when you have Ravage." _Which is kind of too bad. Getting lost can be fun._ "We can stay here, though. Thundercracker will probably be able to find us." He looked up at the crystal formation. _I wonder if I could climb that. It looks kind of spiky, but it's probably sturdy enough._ "Besides," he said. "This thing is really cool." He walked over to it, and grabbed one of the spikes, pulling on it a little to test its strength. "Think I can get to the top?"

"Don't," Ratchet said. "You'll fall."

Searchlight started climbing, pulling himself up the formation. We watched with varying degrees of worry. Ravage kind of wanted to join him and try to beat him to the top. I reached down and picked him up. Not this time.

Searchlight was about a third of the way to the top when there was a loud cracking sound and the whole crystal broke. We all jumped back as it tilted and fell, and Searchlight leaped free just before it hit the ground. It shattered and sprayed us with little crystal shards. Breeze turned away, and Ratchet covered his optics to protect them.

When the dust settled, Searchlight got to his pedes. "Did you see that!" he said. "That was awesome!"

"Searchlight!" Ratchet said. "We needed that!"

"Sorry," Searchlight grinned. _It was totally worth it._

Breeze heard the sound of an engine—probably Thundercracker. We could all hear it a few astroseconds later, and then he flew around the corner and landed.

"You couldn't be bothered to wait in the same place, could you?"

"Sorry," Searchlight said.

"And I presume this _was_ one of the things on the list?" he looked at the bits of crystal all over the ground.

"Emphasis on the _was._ " Ratchet said through gritted denta.

"Fantastic," Thundercracker said. "Well, take a picture of it, and we'll hope it still counts. I know where about two thirds of the other things are."

He led us from formation to formation, then left us and flew around to try to find the rest. We finished and were ready to go back long before sunset. We were pretty far from the staircase, though Ravage knew which way it was. Thundercracker left us to find the way out on his own. At this point, it didn't matter because we were done with the assignment, and didn't technically need to stick together.

We got to the staircase and started up it. Breeze and Searchlight discussed strategies against Verdict, but she was really thinking about other things, such as the fact that Searchlight had implied I could read minds, and the desire for there to be a smaller distance between herself and the ground.

We eventually got back out into the sunlight.

"Now we have to compile everything," Ratchet said. "But the seeker still has the tablet."

Searchlight glanced at me. _Do you know where he is?_

Breeze followed Searchlight's gaze. _Is he talking to Soundwave telepathically or something? Or am I just reading too much into this? I can't believe what I heard down there… I might have misheard, or maybe I didn't understand what they were talking about._

"What?" Ratchet asked, looking at me as well.

"I-I bet…" I didn't want to try to say Thundercracker's designation out loud. Too many syllables. "He's o-o-on the roof."

So when we walked back to the school, Breeze and Searchlight went to see if he was up there, while I went to put Ravage back in my room. While I was there, Verdict and Motormaster passed into my range, also on their way up to the roof because someone had seen Searchlight going that way and had gotten a message to them about it.

Great.

Ravage hopped down onto my desk, and I looked at the door, hesitant, but only for a moment. I couldn't just let them corner him.

I left my room and tried to beat Verdict to the roof, expanding my range just enough to keep them inside it, but I wasn't fast enough. Searchlight, Breeze, and Thundercracker were just coming down, and Verdict and Motormaster met them in the stairwell, on the highest floor of the building. I kept heading toward them as they stopped.

"Hey," Verdict said. "Fancy seeing you here, Searchlight." _Why is the seeker with them? Doesn't he know that's a bad idea? How come they get the seeker anyway?_ "Where's your pet drone and his rabid cat? Oh, wait, I forgot, he gave up on you. You're a lost cause."

"Oh, _you_ give it up," Searchlight replied. "Do you actually not realize how stupid you sound?"

"You just can't get it through your thick helm that you've lost, can you?" Verdict said. "This is over. You tried to get the other students to stand up to us and it didn't work. And it's never going to work. You're just going to keep losing."

I was getting close to the bottom of the flight of stairs.

Searchlight shrugged. "Go ahead and keep telling yourself that," he said, and tried to push past Verdict, but Verdict shoved him back and he stumbled. "Hey!"

Motormaster grabbed him from behind, but Breeze joined in and shoved Motormaster with a surprising amount of force.

"Leave him alone."

Motormaster shoved Searchlight off to the side and grabbed Breeze instead.

Then he threw her away from him. She flew back, and almost caught herself at the top of the stairs. There was a moment when she teetered at the edge, and then one by one, over the course of less than an astrosecond, everyone watching realized she was going to fall.

I skidded to a stop, knowing I couldn't do anything. Verdict stood, frozen in place. Motormaster watched, fascinated.

Breeze fell.

Searchlight struggled to his pedes, pushed Verdict out of the way and started down the stairs before she reached the bottom, but there was nothing he could do.

Breeze tumbled, hitting corners and scraping the wall. About two thirds of the way down, one of her doorwings caught on a stair and her momentum practically pulled it out of its socket. She screamed and the pain nearly knocked her out before she came to a stop at the bottom. She lay there, quivering, optics shut.

Verdict and Motormaster fled.

Searchlight reached the bottom of the stairs. Thundercracker, who had seen the whole thing, stepped forward to the top, looking down with a sort of grudging worry.

"Breeze," Searchlight said. "Breeze, are you all right?" He reached out for her but she shied away from him.

"Don't touch me."

"Okay, okay," Searchlight said. "What's wrong? Oh, frag it…" _I will_ kill _them._

I came around the corner and Searchlight looked up at me, then back at Breeze. "Breeze, we need to get you to Ochre. Can you stand up?"

"G-go away," Breeze whimpered.

"It's he-e-er doorwing," I said. "I think it's dislocated."

"Oh…" Searchlight said. _Well, what do we do now? We have to get her to a medic._ "Breeze?"

Thundercracker came down the stairs. "A dislocated doorwing’s not good," he said. "You should take her to the school medic."

"Breeze, can you stand up?"

She tried, but as soon as she shifted, her dislocated doorwing moved in a way that it really shouldn't have. She screamed again.

"Okay, don't move," Searchlight said. "I can… I can carry you if you let me. Or…" he looked to me. "Should we get Ochre and bring her here?"

"I'll go ahead," Thundercracker said. "But you should probably start bringing her down there anyway." He transformed and flew down the hallway, dexterously skimming around the corner.

"Breeze?" Searchlight said again. "You want me to try to carry you?" _This is my fault. I should have just ignored them…. I'm going to kill Motormaster._

She shook her helm.

"Please, we need to get you to a medic as soon as possible. I'll be careful."

Breeze was quiet for a long time. "Okay," she whispered.

Searchlight knelt down. Her doorwing wasn't the only thing injured and she winced when his hands brushed against a deep dent in her leg. He was careful not to let the angle of her back change so the pressure on her dislocated doorwing didn't shift at all. She held as still and stiff as she could while he stood up and started walking.

Going down the stairs was terrifying for both of them. I walked in front, ready to catch them if Searchlight tripped. We had to go down three flights.

At the bottom, we met Thundercracker and Ochre.

"Let me see," Ochre said, and crouched slightly to study Breeze's doorwing. She noted its unnatural angle, and the way the joint was cracked and twisted . She reached out, but didn't want to touch it. _We'll need to send her to a hospital or a specialist or something. I can't do anything about this._ "Come carry her to my office," she said, and Searchlight followed her.

I hesitated, unsure if I should go too, then jogged to catch up with them. Thundercracker stayed behind.

"What happened?" Ochre demanded. "The seeker said she fell down the stairs."

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "She did."

 _And of course, Searchlight's involved, so there's quite a possibility…_ "And how did she fall down the stairs? Does this have something to do with Verdict again?"

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "They pushed her."

Ochre sighed. "You keep getting your friends hurt, little mech."

Searchlight frowned. _She's right, but It's not like it's my fault. They're the ones who pick on the other students. She can't blame me for it just because I stand up to them._

"And I suppose you once again don't have any evidence that they did this?" We reached Ochre's office and stepped inside.

Searchlight looked down. "No," he said.

"Set her down," Ochre gestured toward a berth. Even as careful as Searchlight was, Breeze's doowing shifted and she cried out. Ochre came back over. "Hang in there just a few more astroseconds," she said, and pulled a small prism-shaped device out of subspace. "You two can go."

"But…" Searchlight said.

Ochre shook her helm. "Go."

Searchlight and I left.

As soon as we were out the door, Ochre turned and deftly flicked open a panel in the back of Breeze's neck, then slipped the small prism into a slot there. Instantly, Breeze's pain was gone. She sighed, relaxing.

"Better?"

She nodded.

"Okay," Ochre said. "Now, I still need you to hold as still, so you don't make it worse. I'm going to comm. your creators, and then we'll get you fixed up, all right?"

We walked out of range.

"You didn't happen to get a recording of them pushing her, did you?" Searchlight said.

I shook my helm. I hadn't gotten there fast enough to actually see it, except through everyone else's optics.

"I suppose you heard them following us and chased after them."

I didn't feel like I needed to answer that question. Why else would I have been there?

We went to Searchlight's room where Ratchet was waiting. He had been starting to worry. He also wasn't happy to see me. "Did you find Thundercracker?" Ratchet asked. _Does Soundwave think just because we did a project with him he can come back and everything's forgiven?_

Ouch.

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "Thundercracker was on the roof like 'Wave said, and he gave us the tablet and then we were on our way down, but we ran into Verdict and Motormaster on the fourth floor landing."

"What?"

"Yeah, and the discussion got kind of heated and Motormaster pushed Breeze and she fell down the stairs… it was really awful. I think she'll be all right, but she dislocated her doorwing."

"She _what!_ "

"Ratchet."

"Where is she?"

"Where do you think?" Searchlight said. "We took her to Ochre. Calm down." He sighed. "Ugh, this is my fault. It should have been me, not her." _I wonder, Soundwave,_ _If you hadn't left two orns ago and we had actually managed to stand up to the bullies, would this have happened?_

I looked down.

_Or would even more of us have gotten hurt?_

Ratchet huffed. "I can't believe this." _I hope she's all right. Ochre will know what to do, she's pretty good for a school medic._ Then he glared at me. "What is _he_ doing here?" he said.

Searchlight looked at me. _I don't know… you did come try to help us. That doesn't change what you did the other orn, but I'm not going to kick you out or anything._

He didn't need to. I turned and started walking away.

 _And there he goes. This doesn't feel right…_ "Wait," Searchlight said.

I hesitated.

_Mech, I'm not going to follow you. If you go, then you go, and that's your choice. But you don't have to. I still kind of want to be friends, you know? I understand why you did it now, not that I necessarily agree. But how lame would it be if we stopped being friends over one stupid thing where we were both just trying to make the right choice?_

And here I was at this decision again. Friends or no friends? Only this time it was actually a choice. If I left, then he wouldn't hunt me down and try to drag me back into the group… actually… give it a few orns and he might change his mind about that.

It didn't matter either way. The choice got easier every time. I shrugged and came back to sit down in my customary spot at Searchlight's desk.

"You're just letting him…" Ratchet said.

"Yeah," Searchlight said.

"But he…"

"Is still my friend, all right?"

Ratchet sighed and went back to worrying about Breeze and her doorwing. An awkward silence fell. It struck me, not for the first time, that Searchlight _could_ have made friends among the more normal, socially skilled students. But for whatever reason, he'd picked Ratchet and I. Breeze was mostly normal… or at least her strangeness was a normal kind of strange. The other two of us… not so much.

"Well," Ratchet said at length. "We should finish this assignment… oh, frag it, I need Breeze's camera."

Searchlight looked up.

"Why didn't you get it when she was still here?"

Searchlight frowned. "I was kind of preoccupied trying to get Breeze to Ochre's office. Also, it's not a problem. We'll just go ask her for it." _I want to go see how she's doing anyway._ "I don't know how long it'll take Ochre to fix the doorwing, though."

Ratchet snorted. "Ochre can't fix her doorwing."

Searchlight frowned. "What do you mean?"

"The connecting cables between the doorwing and the sensory grid are almost as complex as the connections between your spark chamber and your processor, so for a school nurse to try and set the joint of the doorwing would be…What?" he snapped at Searchlight, who was staring at him incredulously.

"How do you know this stuff?"

"I read a basic medical manual once," Ratchet said.

 _What?_ "Why?"

"It's useful to know..."

"You read a medical manual for fun?"

"I read a lot of things for fun."

Searchlight put a hand to his helm. "You are so hopeless, Ratchet. I don't even think you're Cybertronian sometimes, you know that?"

Ratchet glared at him. "Well, at least I'm not completely _insane_ like you."

"I'm not insane, I just want life to be interesting. Back to the subject at hand, you read a basic medical manual and it taught you how to fix doorwings?"

"No," Ratchet said. "Of course it didn't."

He was even more confused now. "But…"

"It said you _aren't_ supposed to _touch_ doorwings unless you know _exactly_ what you're doing. Ochre will probably have sent Breeze to a real hospital."

"Whatever," Searchlight got up. "Let's just go see. Even if you're right, maybe we can catch her before she leaves."

We followed him to Ochre's office, but we were too late, and Breeze was gone. Ochre was there, though, so I let Searchlight hit the entry request button without saying anything to him.

"Come in!"

Ochre turned around when the door opened. "Oh, you're back. Breeze isn't here. I had to send her to a specialist."

Ratchet looked at Searchlight. _What did I tell you?_

"Okay," Searchlight said.

"She left this for you, though," Ochre pointed to the counter where Breeze's camera was sitting. Ratchet went over and took it. "I don't know what to tell you," Ochre said, looking at Searchlight. "I don't suppose I can blame you for what happened, but you should be more careful."

He nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."

She smiled. "Well, no permanent damage done—this time at least. Are any of the rest of you hurt?"

Searchlight shook his helm.

"Then if there's nothing else you can tell me about what happened, you're free to go. Breeze should be back by next orn, unless her creators decide to take her home for a few orns or something." _I'm sure even if I did go find some proof that this happened, they'd say it was an accident, and get off with just a decaorn of detention or something. I've warned Graycharter. If he's waiting for someone to actually die before he expels those miscreants, then it might just happen one of these orns._

"Thanks," Searchlight said. "We'll let you know if we have any more proof the bullies did something." _And then they won't do anything with the proof. It doesn't matter_ what _Verdict does, they won't expel him._

We left and headed back toward Searchlight and Ratchet's room, so we could compile—or in all likelihood just watch Ratchet compile—the geology assignment. I thought about going to get Ravage, but didn't want to make it look like I was leaving. Ravage had had some time out of my room already this orn, so he'd probably forgive me.


	22. Give and Take

Breeze was back the next orn, feeling much better. She spent all of geology class thinking about whether or not I could read minds, and I knew she'd been thinking about it all off-cycle as well. She'd decided that while it would be a relief if it weren't true it would also be a disappointment, and she had determined to come talk to me about it as soon as possible. A large part of me still wasn't sure whether or not to tell her the truth, but either way I'd need to talk to her. So, after class, I went to my room instead of Searchlight's, and sat and waited.

It didn't take her very long to show up, and so I still hadn't decided whether to tell her or not. On one hand she was kind of annoying, and it was best to keep the secret between as few mecha as possible. On the other hand she was already suspicious, and I didn't want her asking too many questions or trying to figure it out on her own.

I reluctantly opened the door.

"Sorry to bother you," she said. _If you can hear this, let me know somehow. I'll make up some stupid excuse for being here and go away if you don't, just in case I was wrong about you reading minds. Don't let that stop you from telling me though. I'll always wonder about it, even if you don't tell me, and I'll be listening for Searchlight to say something about it again._

I sighed. "Fine."

She hesitated. "Fine what?"

"Fine I can. Bu-ut you have to pro-omise not to-o-o tell anyo-one."

"Really?" Breeze said. "Well, of course I won't, but really?" _We are talking about the same thing, right?_

I nodded.

"Do you… I mean, can I come in?" _Probably shouldn't talk about this out in the halls._

I nodded and backed away so she could come in, then got out my datapad and typed out the basics of how my mind-reading worked. I was probably making some sort of mistake, but she did intend to stay true to her word and not tell anyone. And, well, she'd already pretty much known. I wasn't too happy with Searchlight for telling her, but it had happened, and couldn't be undone.

I handed her the datapad with the information. She spent several breems reading and re-reading it thoughtfully, then deleted the words. "So," she said, still standing just inside the door. "Uh… do you prefer we talk out loud, or do you want me to talk to you, like, telepathically?"

No one had ever asked me that before. I reached for the datapad and she handed it to me. [I don't really care. I know everything you think anyway, but if you say it out loud, I'll know you really meant to say it.]

"Oh, okay," Breeze said. "Well, I guess I'll talk out loud then." _This is fascinating. And awful. Poor Soundwave. I mean, he's surprisingly normal—you can tell there's something different about him, but you wouldn't think it's something like this._

Ravage hopped up onto the berth. Breeze was still a little nervous around him, but he just watched her, and eventually she turned her attention back to me. "So…" she said. "This is all really… so you hear everyone's thoughts no matter what, so long as you're in range of them… that must be like… like having a one-way bond with _everyone._ That must really rust."

I nodded.

"Wow…" _Serious respect for this fledgling. I don't think I could handle that. Oh… the thing with Verdict, when he abandoned us…_ "When you said a lot of mecha were going to get hurt when you left us there… you weren't just guessing were you? You knew."

I nodded. "I sti-i-ill shouldn't have le-eft."

"No," Breeze said. "It makes sense now. But…" _He must have known Searchlight would be really upset about it._ "That probably took a lot of courage."

I shook my helm. Courageous was not a word I would use to describe what had happened there.

"So Searchlight knows… Does Ratchet?" _About the mind reading?_

I nodded.

"And me," Ravage said. "And a teacher… what was his designation?"

"Cablereach."

Breeze nodded.

"Oh, yeah," Ravage said. "And so do Verdict, Motormaster, and Jazz."

Breeze's optics widened. "What! That's not good…"

I shook my helm in agreement.

"So how is it even still a secret? Why haven't they told anyone?"

I shrugged. "No proof," I said.

_I suppose they'd have to convince someone… but… that's still kind of scary. What happens if they convince the wrong mecha it's true?_

I shrugged again.

She looked at me for a few moments. _I wonder if that also played into why he left when we made our stand against them. Searchlight standing up to the bullies is kind of risky, isn't it? I wonder if Soundwave is okay with that or not. If he isn't, would he even say anything?_ "Well…" she said. _Wow, he can hear me analyzing him, can't he? That's really rude of me._

I wrote on my datapad. [It's okay. I can hear everyone analyze me.]

 _Oh, Primus, that rusts…_ "I'm sorry," Breeze said. "That's awful… at the same time, it must be nice to know what other mecha are thinking sometimes."

It really wasn't worth it.

"So, how far can you stretch your range… I mean, you probably haven't tried, since it gives you processor aches, right?"

[I was out camping once and got it about half the size of this city.]

"Wow," Breeze said. "And then did it come back to normal?"

I nodded. Of course, it hadn't come back slowly like it should have, but I didn't feel the need to discuss that particular part of the camping trip with her.

I still wasn't sure what that had been. My only guess was Primus, but that didn't make much sense. My range couldn't have been out that far _—_ it would have needed to go all the way down to the center of the planet. That, I could calculate easily, meant I would have had most of Iacon in my range, and the edges of several other cities as well. And in any case, even if I _did_ reach Primus's mind, I doubted I'd be able to hear his thoughts.

Breeze was thinking about my stutter now. "Do you think the way you talk is linked to the mind-reading? Is it worse when you have a processor ache?"

I nodded.

"Are there other times when it's worse?"

[If I'm nervous.] I wrote.

"Huh," she said, doorwings perking up. Then she grimaced and reached back up to rub at the still slightly painful joint. _If it's not just a reaction to his mind-reading, then maybe it's just psychological, and he can overcome it. Wow, this is really cool. Just last term I didn't have any friends. Now I have Searchlight, and Ratchet—sort of—and a mech who can read minds. Oops, now he knows I didn't have any friends… Of course, he probably already knew._ She tilted her helm to the side. "You know everyone's secrets, don't you?"

I nodded.

"There's a lot of potential there." _For good and for evil._ "You could, like, be the best psychiatrist ever."

I almost laughed. I could just imagine that. All of my clients would be terrified of me. But Breeze just went on, oblivious to my amusement. It was kind of sad, really, how no one could ever tell what I was feeling. I had to actually _say_ something for them to know.

Breeze had a lot of other questions and I answered them, discovering that I actually didn't mind telling her. She was a different sort of audience from Searchlight or Cablereach. She was more focused on trying to imagine what it would be like than thinking of things I could do with it, or logistical problems. And she was also mildly impressed, which helped.

When she ran out of questions she asked me if I had any questions for her.

"Not that I have answers half as interesting as yours, or that you don't know more about me than you want to already."

[You've thought,] I wrote [several times during this conversation that you believe I can overcome my stutter.]

She nodded. "I think you probably can, given enough time and the right kind of counseling. I can try to help you if you like. Psychology _is_ my emphasis."

[What would you want in return?]

"Your spark," she said darkly, then shook her helm. "Just kidding. No, let's just say you don't tell Searchlight I like him and in return, I'll do what I can. Not going to promise anything, though. You should really get professional help there…guess you can't, huh? You have a secret to keep."

I shrugged.

"Well, I'll do some research and get back to you about that. Thanks for telling me. You didn't have to trust me."

[well, you already knew.]

_Let's not tell them I know yet. That could be kind of fun._

I shrugged. _I_ wasn't going to tell them.

She left, and I went back to my homework.

Eventually, someone who could really hurt me would find out. But once again, I told myself I'd rather have friends than be completely safe. And the more trustworthy friends I had, the more help I could call for if things went wrong.

* * *

I went to the library the next orn to research something for Cablereach's class. When I got there, Jazz was sitting at a computer terminal, putting off the exact same homework assignment—he was in that class as well.

I almost decided to turn around and leave before he saw me, but I really needed to work on the assignment, and I figured if I was careful, he wouldn't notice me there.

I sat at a computer as far away from him as possible, but he still saw me. He didn't feel like bothering me though, even though he was bored.

Then Verdict and Motormaster came in. I wasn't in their line of sight, so I didn't move, but I prepared to make some sort of escape if I needed to.

"Hey, Jazz," Verdict said, loud enough that the archivist shot him a glare.

Jazz looked up. "Hi." _Oh, great, here it comes…_

I was a little surprised about how unhappy he was to see them here.

Verdict crossed the room. _Of course he's in here. We should have looked here first._ He seemed unhappy about something too. "Can we talk to you?"

Jazz spun his chair around. "Sure, Verdict," he said.

"Come on." Verdict turned and walked away and Jazz followed him. They stopped in the hall outside, still within my range.

"So, where were you last orn?"

"Studying," Jazz said. "Classes are harder this term. I have homework."

"Really?" Verdict said. "Really, or are you just avoiding us?"

"Look," Jazz said. "Way I see it, things are pretty much done. Searchlight's not gonna give up and I can't go up against a mind-reader."

"Then we tell someone about Soundwave," Verdict said.

I froze.

"Nah," Jazz shook his helm. "I told ya, first we'd have ta have evidence. Second, even if we did, it'd just end with Soundwave dead or something worse and I don't want that on my spark, do you?"

"Primus, Jazz," Verdict said, "Why don't you just go join Searchlight's little army already then."

"No," Jazz said. "I'm still on your side, Verdict."

"Are you?"

"Yes." Jazz glared.

"Then act like it," Verdict said. "Okay?"

"Yeah."

"We need to figure out what we're going to do about Searchlight." _We have to get him expelled somehow._

"We shouldn't talk here," Jazz said. _Soundwave could be listening. I wonder how far away from him you have to get so he can't hear you… He can't possibly hear everyone's thoughts at once, it would overload his processor wouldn't it?_

"Okay, then let's go to my room."

They walked away and out of my range. I barely had time to really analyze that conversation, though, before Thundercracker, who was also in the library, noticed me, and came over.

I didn't look up as he approached. I knew what he wanted to say, and I wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it.

 _I keep thinking about how they pushed that femme down the stairs… I'm starting to agree with Searchlight about Verdict and his friends._ "Hey," he said, when he was close enough that I could hear him talking quietly. "You can tell Searchlight to count me in next time he makes a stand."

I looked over my shoulder at him, but he just turned around and walked away, so I went back to my homework.

When I was finished, I went to get Ravage and bring him to Searchlight's room. Breeze was there, as well as several of the students who'd stayed when Searchlight had gone to stand up to the bullies.

As soon as I stepped inside, the atmosphere in the room was suddenly hostile. Ravage sensed the tone and shifted on my shoulders.

Searchlight just smiled and waved me in. "Hey, Soundwave."

I came in and put a hand on one of Ravage's paws to warn him not to jump down and startle anyone.

 _What is_ he _doing here?_

_Isn't he the one who abandoned us?_

"Searchlight, can I-I talk to-o-o you?"

Searchlight hesitated, then nodded. _About what? If it has to do with mind reading we can go out in the hall, but I'm kind of in the middle of something here._

I looked around the room. If I wanted these other students to accept me, I _could_ try explaining what I'd heard in here, with them listening.

"I o-overheard Verdict a-and the-e others."

"Really?" Searchlight said. "What did they say?"

Everyone was interested now. I wished I had a datapad or that I could play back the conversation, but I hadn't been close enough to physically record it.

Searchlight grabbed a datapad off of his desk and tossed it to me. I caught it and wrote.

[Verdict's not going to give up. I heard them arguing, actually. Jazz seemed to want to let it go, but Verdict's determined. He wants to get you expelled.] I handed the datapad to Searchlight who read it and nodded, then handed it to one of the others.

"By the way, everyone," he said, "Soundwave's still with us if he wants to be."

"But he left."

"So what?" Searchlight said. "A lot of them left, but if they want to come back, I'm fine with it. We need all the help we can get."

"So, what do we do about this?" one of the other students said. "Verdict's done that to other students before. He'll find a way."

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "Probably."

"So, what do we do?" Breeze said. "If you start fights or anything, that'll be a perfect excuse for them to try to get you in trouble."

"True," Searchlight said.

"Well, he can't get all of us expelled," one of the others said.

"Yeah," Searchlight agreed. "So you could carry on standing up to them if they get me." _I really don't want to be expelled. Keepsake and Cam would be so disappointed._

"No," one of the others said. "They're trying to get _you_ expelled? We'll get _them_ expelled first."

The others liked that idea.

"But how?" Searchlight said. "Verdict's creators can get him out of nearly anything."

"That's not really tru-ue," I said. The headmaster had the last say and if he had enough of a reason, even Verdict's creators couldn't save him.

"Okay," Searchlight said, "Then let's see what we can come up with. Ideas?"

Ratchet came in, followed by another student. "Searchlight, what… what the frag is going on in here?"

"Meeting," Searchlight said. "Sorry I didn't warn you."

 _Get all of these idiots out of my room._ "Searchlight!"

 _Ratchet!_ Ravage jumped off of my shoulders and bowled Ratchet over. The other student with him gasped and ducked out of the way, terrified. A bunch of the students in the room freaked out too, but Ratchet just shouted at Ravage and shoved him off. Ravage came back and curled around my pedes.

Ratchet glared at Searchlight. "Can you have your meeting somewhere else? I need to study in here."

"Actually, I think we're done for this orn. Let the others know, and everyone try to come up with ideas for how to get Verdict expelled."

They nodded and filed out, past Ratchet and the other mech—who, apparently, was his partner for a chemistry project he needed to do.

"You're trying to get someone expelled?" he whispered, glancing nervously at Searchlight. _I hope I don't have to go say something to a teacher or anything._

"Just ignore him,” Ratchet said. “He’s not smart enough to actually pull something like that off.”

"Ouch," Searchlight said.

"Verdict…" the other student said. "I think I know who that is." _Isn't he that really mean fifth-term?_

"Yeah," Ratchet said. "We all do. Come in."

The other student hesitated, shooting a very nervous glance at Ravage.

"It's okay," Ratchet said. "That's just Soundwave's oversized pet. I've never seen it actually hurt anyone, and he mostly doesn't jump on anyone but me." _Why me?_

The other mech took a hesitant step forward. _I wish we could have done this in the library instead. I've heard about Soundwave too… Ratchet's roommate and his friends are kind of intimidating. I suppose I shouldn't be afraid of them just because they're bigger and older than me, but… trying to get another student expelled? A teacher ought to be told about that…_

"Oh, come on," Ratchet said, and grabbed his friend by the arm to drag him into the room. "You'll get used to them. Let's talk about the project."

"Do you want to do this orn's homework first?" the other student said. "To get it out of the way."

"Sure," Ratchet said.

"And it'll get done faster if we do it together." He glanced at Ravage again. _Next time, I'll ask if we can go to my room or the library or somewhere._

"So… what's going on?" Searchlight asked.

"Homework and a project," Ratchet said. "If you can do projects in here, then so can I."

The other student winced. _I guess his roommates can't be too bad if Ratchet's so willing to say things like that. I hope that didn't offend Searchlight._

"I didn't say you couldn't."

Breeze, who hadn't left yet, and was sitting in a chair, smiled at him. _Poor thing looks terrified._ "I promise we don't bite, except maybe Ravage, but so long as you don't attack Soundwave or anything, he's fine. I'm Breeze by the way. Is this your first term here?"

He shrugged shyly. "No. I'm a second term."

"But he's in the fourth term chemistry class with me," Ratchet said.

"Real proud of yourself, aren't you?" Searchlight lay back on his berth and looked up at the ceiling.

"That's cool," Breeze said. "I'm sure I'm not even smart enough to be in first term chemistry. I remember that class…" she frowned. _It was awful. I think I barely passed. Good thing my creators are rich and I don't need a scholarship._

"I don't know." Ratchet's friend smiled. "I'm pretty bad in literature classes. Everyone's good at something."

"So, let's get this homework done," Ratchet said, pulling out a datapad. "I've already finished problems one through four…"

"I looked at the first one," the second-term reached into a bag slung over his shoulder and pulled out a datapad of his own.

They sat down on the ground instead of Ratchet's desk, so I borrowed Ratchet's chair to sit in. Breeze pulled out a datapad and doodled. Searchlight pondered how to get Verdict expelled and avoid the same fate himself. Ratchet and the second-term did homework.

When he'd gotten over being shy, the second-term was actually interesting to talk to, or at least to listen to. I wasn't surprised that he was half a vorn ahead of his age group. He had one of those rare minds that thought very clearly, and always in complete sentences. He and Ratchet ended up in a deep conversation about spacebridge technology. It was something I was interested in as well, so I hesitantly put a word in here and there. Eventually, Breeze yawned and got up. "See you mechs next orn," she said, and left the room.

"Oh, no," the second-term said. "We didn't start the project."

"We still have a joor before lights out," Ratchet said.

I realized I should probably go too. I got up and made for the door.

"It was nice to meet you," the second-term said. _I don't know if he cares, but it's right to be polite to everyone._ "Soundwave, right?"

I nodded.

 _Oh, I don't think I introduced myself…_ "My designation's Shockwave, by the way." He smiled, feeling kind of awkward. "Sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier."

I shrugged. "It's fi-ine."

Ravage hopped up onto my shoulders and we headed back to my room.


	23. Verdict

A few orns later we had our first test in geology. The teacher passed out sheets of metal and small containers of paint. Many of the students complained in their minds about using these instead of datapads.

The test was long—meant to take the whole joor. I started and tried to get ahead while I still could, but the middle caught up to me as usual. By the end of the joor my processor felt like it always did after a test and I had to turn it in before I was finished. This time, I had three friends worrying for me, but that didn't actually help.

Afterward, we all walked quietly to Searchlight's room.

 _Are you okay, 'Wave? What do you need?_ Searchlight thought.

I needed to go to his creators' symbiont shelter and bury myself under a pile of them. I was pretty sure that would make me feel better.

 _This can't be healthy, can it? If something like this gets too bad, would it have a permanent effect?_ Breeze wondered.

I shrugged. So far this term hadn't been that bad. Cablereach had convinced most of my teachers to let me take tests separately, so this was only the second time I'd taken one in a classroom with everyone else.

When we got to Searchlight's room, I told them I had things I needed to get done and left. I would have liked to stay in my room, curled up on my berth, for the rest of the orn but I actually did have some homework, so after I felt a little better I made my way to the library.

Ratchet and Shockwave were there working on their project, along with one of Shockwave's friends who was lying on his back with his pedes up on a bookshelf, holding a datapad in front of his faceplate. He was pretending to read, but was really paying attention to what the other two were talking about. I recognized him from one of my classes. His designation was Wheeljack and from what I'd overheard from and about him, he was responsible for about eighty percent of the lab safety violations and mishaps in the school, maybe more.

I ended up listening to Ratchet and Shockwave as well. Their project was a proposal a new way to refine energon.

"You know," Wheeljack said. "Wouldn't it be cool if that really works?"

Ratchet scowled.

Shockwave nodded, then smiled sadly. "It's too bad we don't get to actually test it."

"But you could! You could build a machine that did it and then do a demonstration in front of the class."

"It's not supposed to be a demonstration!" Ratchet growled. _Why does he have to tag along? I'd tell him to go away, but I don't even think it would work._

"You could…" Wheeljack set the datapad down and swung his arms out. "Like… get ahold of some raw energon and actually build the refining thing and then you could _test_ it in front of the class. So you wouldn't know if it was going to work yet. That would be really exciting _._ And even if it didn't work, that's just part of the scientific process, failing and trying again. Bet you'd get extra points for that."

"The assignment," Ratchet said through gritted denta. "Is to _propose_ a project, not _do_ a project."

"Yeah, but you have to do all the calculations and stuff like that. Why waste all that work by not building it? I'll help you. I bet I can get Cablereach to loan me some parts. He's usually really nice about that."

"No," Ratchet said. "That's not part of the project, and this is not your project anyway."

"Well, then I won't make it part of the project. I could just build it for fun."

Ratchet glared at him.

"Jackie…" Shockwave said.

"Sorry," he picked up the datapad. "I mean, if I build it, it'll probably explode… so that might not be a good idea."

"You think?" Ratchet muttered.

"But," he said. "If you change your minds or if you want to see if this thing will actually work…"

"We'll let you know," Shockwave said.

"Okay." Wheeljack swung his legs down from the shelf and got up. "I'll go ask Cablereach if I can borrow some stuff…" _Also, I think I have homework that I didn't finish._ He swung his legs down from the shelf and got up. _There's that book I'm supposed to be reading for history. Uugghhh, that class is going to be the death of me. I wonder if I can find a way to connect my processor directly to the datapad in a way that will write all the facts into permanent memory. Hmm…_

That sounded like a very bad idea. Why was this school so full of insane mecha?

He walked out from between the two shelves, nearly ran into me, and jumped a little. _Eep… oh…_ "Hi!" he said. "You're Soundwave, right? I've heard of you, you're friends with Searchlight."

I nodded.

"I'm Wheeljack. Nice to meet you… oh, I have to go check out a…" _Oh, Primus, I left that thing running in my room…_ "I have to go!" He took off in another direction.

I shook my helm and went to start my homework.

* * *

"In two decaorns," Retroquake said, "We are going to go on a three orn field trip."

I had known this was coming and had warned the others, so Searchlight was already excited about it.

Retroquake continued. "You will all need to go to your other teachers and ask for their signed permission to miss these orns of class. If you can't get their permission you can't go, so get your best turbo-puppy look on. That means you, hot pink."

Thundercracker scowled.

"Not quite. Keep trying."

Thundercracker rolled his optics. _He thinks he's so funny…_

"I'll pass out the forms at the end of class as you leave. This first field trip, we usually don't go too far, but this term, I'm taking you to the Sea of Rust right away because the weather there is predicted to be particularly inhospitable later in the term."

The atmosphere in the class was a mixture of excitement and a little bit of worry. Searchlight was excited, which was actually the reason I was a little nervous. Crescent and I had flown over the Sea of Rust once, and it wasn't very interesting, but it was vast, and it seemed like it would be easy to get lost in.

Retroquake started talking about the eolian system, how wind picked up dust and rust and gravel and how they built up in some places on the planet. After class, we got the forms that needed to be filled out and left.

"We could get all of these done this orn," Ratchet said. "I can probably find all of my teachers."

"Or we could wait until next orn, when we're in class with each of our teachers," Searchlight said.

"But what if we forget?"

"Go if you want. I'm not stopping you."

 _Fine, I will._ Ratchet turned and walked the other way.

"So," Breeze said. "I have a lot of homework and I don't usually get much done when I go to your room."

"Okay," Searchlight sighed.

"I'll see you next orn," Breeze left.

"What about you?" Searchlight turned to me. "You going to abandon me?"

"I ha-ave to-o talk to Ca-ablereach." Earlier in the orn, he had passed me in the hallway and asked me to come to his office some time after classes.

"Yeah right," Searchlight said. _You're just making that up._

I shook my helm.

"I can't tell if you're joking or not."

"I'm not," I said flatly.

Searchlight's optic ridges shot up. "Whoa, say that again." _That was so cool, use that voice again._

"This vo-oice?" I asked, speaking as emotionlessly as I could.

"Yes," Searchlight said. _Wow, it's creepy. That's so cool._ "You could freak mecha out with that."

I shrugged. I was in the business of trying _not_ to be creepy, so I wasn't quite as excited by this as he was. "I do-o have to ta-alk to Cablereach."

He nodded. "Okay. Well, have fun."

I went off toward Cablereach's office. I had a question for him about something I hadn't quite understood about the assigned reading for his class, so I might have gone to talk to him anyway. I knocked on his door when I reached it, and he let me in.

"Oh, Soundwave, good," he said. "So… I've come up with an actual plan in case Verdict manages to convince someone about your abilities."

I nodded.

"I'll give you the code for the door of my office…or do you know it already?"

I nodded. I knew the key codes to most of the teachers' doors.

"If something happens and your secret's not safe anymore, I want you to send a message to my datapad and then come here and wait for me. If it's very serious, let me know and I'll try to get out of whatever class I'm teaching. No one knows I'm you ally right now, so this is probably the safest place to hide until I can get you out of the school. You'll go to Iacon from there. I have a friend we can trust in Iacon. I haven't talked to him about it, but he will almost certainly be willing and able to hide you."

I nodded again. If it became necessary, I could rely on Cablreach's judgment about who to trust.

"How are things with Verdict and his gang?" Cablreach asked. "Do you want to tell me what they've been getting up to lately?" _I've heard some unsettling rumors…_

I shrugged, and he handed me a datapad to write on. I wasn't sure whether to tell him about Searchlight's recent activities—I didn't want to get him in trouble. [Just the usual.] There was something I ought to tell him though. [But someone else knows about me now.]

 _That's not good. How did that happen?_ "Who, and how did it happen?"

[Breeze. She's a Praxian. A fourth term student like Searchlight, Ratchet, and I. Searchlight accidentally said something within her hearing. I do trust her, though.]

Cablereach leaned forward and rested his chin on his arms on the desk. "I'm still a little worried. The more who know, the more dangerous this gets."

[I know.]

"Please be very careful. How is Searchlight doing at ignoring Verdict?"

[Not very well.]

Cablreach sighed. "Please tell me he's trying at least."

He had been, at the very beginning. I shrugged.

"Maybe I should call him in and talk to him."

[It might not do much good. He _was_ trying at first, but the way they treat everyone really bothers him.]

"Okay," Cablereach said. _Normally, I would have to admire that, but he's putting his friends in a lot of danger. I still might call him in at some point._ "Was there anything else?"

I nodded. [I had a question about the reading for next orn.]

"Go ahead."

[Oh, and can you sign this? It's for me to go on a field trip for geology in a few decaorns.]

"Sure." Cablereach took the form. "So, what was your question?"

We talked for a little while. When I understood the concept I'd been confused about, I left Cablereach's office and went to Searchlight's room. I took the long way so I could pick up Ravage.

* * *

Searchlight was alone when I came in—he was skimming through a reading assignment for one of his government classes. Ravage jumped off of my shoulders and sat on Ratchet's desk chair, waiting. I sat down and started doing homework.

_So, what did you talk to Cablereach about?_

I shrugged.

He set down the assignment. "Anything new?"

I looked up as some other students came into my range. "Not no-ow."

He frowned. "Huh?"

There was a knock at the door.

 _Oh. Someone's here._ "Just come in, it's not locked," Searchlight said.

The door opened and two of the students in Searchlight's anti-Verdict group came in.

"Searchlight," one of them said. "Axel is in Ochre's office."

"What?" Searchlight stood. "Why? What happened?"

"It was Verdict," the other student said.

Searchlight made for the door. I hesitated, then got up and followed him. He and the other two students made straight for Ochre's office. The door was open and Axel was sitting on the berth, with a dented faceplate and several other small injuries.

"Hi!" he grinned as he saw Searchlight come into the room, then let out a little squeak of pain and put a hand to his damaged faceplate.

"What happened?" Searchlight asked.

Ochre came over. "Oh, Searchlight, I was wondering if you'd show up this orn," she said. "Did someone else get hurt?"

"No," Searchlight said. "I just came to see Axel."

"Well, I'm almost finished with him," she said. "Why don't you go wait in the hall?" _Verdict did this. I wonder if Searchlight was somehow involved too. He always seems to be involved somehow..._

"But…" Searchlight said.

"Go."

We went out into the hall while Ochre finished seeing to Axel's injuries. When she was finished, Axel came out and we all started walking back the way we'd come.

"So what happened?" Searchlight asked again.

"I saw Verdict picking on a first term and went up to him and told him to stop," Axel said.

 _He seems really happy about it. Primus, I did that, didn't I? I convinced him to do things like that._ "Axel," Searchlight said. "I… I'm really proud of you…"

"Thanks!"

"But try to be more careful in the future. It's better when you have friends to back you up. If they catch us alone, they can just beat us up, but if we try to stay in groups, it'll be harder for them. Make sense?"

"Yeah," Axel said, then felt a little more solemn as he remembered what it had been like when Verdict had attacked him. "You're right that standing up to them is scary. But I did it."

"Yeah," Searchlight said, feeling kind of sick. "I'm sorry you got hurt."

"I'm ok," Axel said. "I think it was worth it. When's the next meeting?"

"Next orn," Searchlight said. "I'm looking forward to hearing all of your ideas."

Axel and the two others turned and went a different way. Searchlight and I headed back to his room.

"It's not just me anymore, is it?" Searchlight said.

I shook my helm.

"I'm not sure how to feel about that. Worried or excited... I don't really want anymech else to get hurt. But it's good that they're standing up to Verdict."

Personally, I was just worried. I knew Verdict had no intention of giving up, no matter what.

We got back to Searchlight's room. Ravage, who had been asleep, looked up when we came in. He had been hoping we were Ratchet, but he was glad to see me too.

Searchlight and I both went back to our homework.

* * *

Jazz was careful not to think about the plans he and Verdict were making whenever he was around me. Being in the same term and emphasis—computer science—we had a lot of classes together, but I got very little of anything from him over the next decaorn, except the knowledge that they _did_ have a plan for getting Searchlight expelled.

So I decided I would have to find Verdict instead. I knew his class schedule and the places he liked to spend time, and I'd picked up from Jazz that there was going to be a meeting in his room.

Two more students had stood up to them and gotten hurt for it. I hoped Cablereach didn't connect the dots and figure out I hadn't been entirely honest with him about how involved Searchlight was in opposing the bullies. I also wished that Searchlight would stop encouraging the other students to stand up to them. One way or another, _someone_ was going to get in trouble.

I walked down the hallway where Verdict's room was and stopped when I was in range of it. There were other students around, in their own rooms, but it wasn't hard to pick out the conversation I wanted to pay attention to.

"...I told you, it's gonna be another decaorn."

"Okay then," Verdict said. "Hey, didn't you say you found out that they're going on a field trip then? That would be a perfect time."

 _Wow, Verdict._ Jazz raised an optic ridge. "Nah, I don't think it would."

Verdict thought about what he'd just said. "Oh, right. Searchlight can't have stolen something if he wasn't here."

They kept talking, and I pieced together their plan. They were going to steal something, probably from the headmaster, and frame Searchlight for it. They couldn't do it before the field trip, because Jazz needed to figure out a way to mess with the security cameras to make Verdict look like Searchlight on them. But they would probably strike soon afterward.

This wasn't something Searchlight and his little club could come up with a counterattack for. And if any of them knew, it might get back to Jazz or Verdict somehow. It would be better, I decided, if I didn't tell Searchlight yet. As soon as the bullies realized we knew, they'd change tactics, maybe coming up with something even more difficult to prevent.

So I waited as the orn of the field trip drew nearer. The trip itself was optional, but if you didn't go, you had a lot of homework instead, so three quarters of the class planned on going. I had hoped that Verdict and Jazz and Motormaster would leave us alone for a while, now that they had a plan to get rid of Searchlight, but the orn before the field trip, they showed up at his room.

It was right after geology. Searchlight was holding a meeting then, and I hadn't gone to get Ravage yet. I noticed Verdict and his friends coming before they got here, but if I said anything, then all the others would wonder how I knew. I tried to signal to Searchlight that I needed to talk to him, but he didn't notice. So I used my datapad to send a message to someone else because I figured we might need some back-up.

And then the door, which had been left unlocked, opened. They all looked up.

"Hey!" Searchlight got up from the berth and glanced at me. _Why didn't you warn me?_

I held out my hands and shook my helm. I _had_ tried to warn him.

Everyone watched as Searchlight crossed the room. "What do you want?" he asked them.

"I keep telling you that this is your last chance," Verdict said. "But this time I mean it." He stepped into the room. "You've got four orns," he said. "And then you're out of this school."

_Soundwave, you'd better be figuring out what they're planning…_

"And you've got two breems to change my mind about it."

"Know what," Searchlight said. "You're too late."

"What?" Verdict narrowed his optics.

"I don't really care if you've found some way to get me expelled. You should have done that the first time I stood up to you. It's too late now. See these mecha in here? If I'm gone, so what? They're still going to stand up to you."

Verdict glared at him. "Well, maybe I'll just have to get all of you expelled."

"You can only do that so many times before someone stops you," Searchlight said. "There's no way you can win."

Verdict shoved Searchlight, who stumbled back, almost crashing into his desk. "Once you're gone," he said, "They'll go back to being what they were before. Unlike _you,_ they know their place."

Don't make him angrier…

"You sound like one of those cheesy villains from a holovid," Searchlight said.

 _He has a point there,_ Jazz thought.

Verdict lunged at Searchlight, who dodged out of the way, but Motormaster grabbed him and threw him to the ground, face first. Verdict turned and kicked him, then stomped down on his helm, shoving his faceplate into the floor.

"Wow. You're really good at beating mecha who are already on the ground," a voice said from the doorway. Verdict looked up. Of course, I already knew it was Thundercracker, who I'd messaged when Verdict and the others had come into my range. He slipped past the others Verdict had brought and came into the room.

"You," Verdict said, narrowing his optics. "I wasn't aware this was your fight."

Thundercracker frowned at him. "Well, you only locked me in a fragging closet. It's not like that might bias me against you or anything."

"I can do it again."

Thundercracker didn't flinch, though a flash of fear did light up his emotional core for a moment. "And I'm a seeker, so I'd like to see you _try_ to get me expelled."

One of the other students used the distraction to throw himself at Verdict with a shout. He actually managed to push the older student over, and Verdict crashed into Searchlight's desk hard, scraping some paint off of his arm.

Everyone froze.

Verdict and his attacker stared at each other for a moment, then Motormaster grabbed the unfortunate mech and twisted his arms behind his back. Verdict pulled back to punch him in the faceplate, but Thundercracker's hand shot out and caught Verdict's.

"You really want to do that with so many witnesses here?" Thundercracker asked quietly. "I'm sure someone's recording it."

Verdict hesitated for a moment, then yanked his arm away and shoved past Motormaster. "Drop him, Motor, he's not worth it."

Motormaster released the other student, then kicked him into Searchlight, who was getting to his pedes. They collided and both collapsed again.

Verdict shoved past Thundercracker and left, with Motormaster following him. As soon as they were gone, Axel went to help the student who'd attacked Verdict and Breeze came over to pull Searchlight to his pedes. Searchlight winced as he stood and put a hand to his helm.

"Are you okay?" Breeze asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It's not like it's the first time something's put a dent in my helm."

"Well, there's a surprise," Thundercracker said. _Glitched idiot._

"Thundercracker, thank you… how did you?"

"Soundwave messaged me," Thundercracker said.

"I-I forgot to-o-o tell y-you," I said to Searchlight. "He-e sa-a-aid…"

"Yeah, I was wondering why you didn't approach me about it. I told him if you were making a stand against Verdict, you could count me in."

"Oh," Searchlight said. "I should have invited you to the meetings."

"I wouldn't have come," Thundercracker said. "And don't expect me to do this again either." He turned and walked from the room. They all watched him go, taking a moment to get over the strangeness of that encounter.

"So," Searchlight grinned at his silent audience. "Who was it who said we can't convince Verdict to back down?"

They cheered.

"Searchlight," Breeze said quietly. "We probably need to get you to Ochre."

"I am totally fine," Searchlight said, which was a lie. His helm hurt a lot. "Everyone else okay?"

"Yep," the student who'd attacked Verdict said.

They finished talking about strategies and what they should do while Searchlight and Breeze and Ratchet and I were gone on the field trip. When the meeting was over, Breeze talked Searchlight into going to see Ochre.

Ochre was about as pleased as she usually was to see Searchlight, and he didn't even try to claim the dent in his helm had been from tripping. She wanted to do some deeper scans to make sure there weren't any sort of internal injuries, and that was going to take a while, so she kicked us out.

We went back to Searchlight's room. I went and got Ravage, and we did homework and waited for Searchlight to show up again. It took him until less than a joor before lights out.

"Well, that took forever, but my helm's all right," Searchlight announced. "Ugh, now I have to stay up and do homework. Sorry you mechs waited here so long."

"And femme," Breeze muttered.

"And femme." Searchlight nodded.

"I'm glad you're not dying or something," Breeze said. "See you next orn for the field trip."

"Bye."

She left.

"I can't _believe_ this field trip," Ratchet said. "The orn we get back, I have to present a paper. Why couldn't we have had this next decaorn instead?"

"No idea," Searchlight said. "Hey, 'Wave?"

I looked at him.

"Thanks. Thanks for sticking around this time. And for calling Thundercracker in."

I shrugged.

"Do you have any idea what Verdict has planned?" _How is he going to get me expelled?_

I hesitated. Should I tell him? I'd been planning to explain it during the field trip since they didn't intend to carry out their plan until afterward.

Searchlight frowned. _What does that mean? Surely he's figured it out_ — _Verdict was right there, talking about it._

"Be pa-atient," I said.

"What?"

I shrugged and got up to leave.

"Come on," Searchlight said. "You know, don't you? Why won't you tell me? Please?"

If I had optics, I would have rolled them.

Ravage followed me out the door and jumped up onto my shoulders, nearly knocking me over. Next orn was the field trip. That was good. It would be nice to get away from Verdict and his friends for a while, and I was looking forward to being out in the middle of nowhere where it would be quieter.


	24. The Sea of Rust

I had assumed I would be bringing Ravage. There was no way I'd leave him in my room on his own for two orns, even though it wouldn't be too hard to sneak him a large enough supply of energon. I couldn't leave him by himself like that.

Retroquake didn't seem to see it that way.

"Back in my orn," he said. "A rule was a rule. There's a no pets policy at this school, and whether or not they've worked out an exception for that thing you've got on your shoulders, I will not make an exception for it on this field trip."

"I ca-an't leave him," I said.

"Really," Searchlight stepped in to help. "Retroquake there's no one here to take care of him, and he's perfectly harmless as long as he's with Soundwave. If you don't let him come, then Soundwave can't come, and I'm not going either."

"Neither am I," Breeze said. "Come on, just let Ravage come."

"He's got a good sense of direction," Searchlight said. "So he'll be useful if we get lost."

"We aren't going to get lost," Retroquake said. "And my answer is still no. If you all want to boycott this field trip because I won't let your pet tiger come, then you can do the alternate assignment instead." _I do not want to deal with a symbiont on this trip._

I sighed.

"I guess we aren't going…"

"No," I told Searchlight. "Y-You go. I'm okay."

"No," Ravage said. "I can stay here, Soundwave. I don't mind. I can just recharge on your desk the whole time. _And I don't mind going without energon for a few orns either. I'm built for it._

But _I_ didn't want to go two orns without Ravage.

He rubbed his helm against my neck. "I'll be okay," he purred. _I kind of wanted to go exploring there... but it's fine._

I hurried him back to my room and left him there. Now I'd be worried about Ravage the whole time, but I didn’t want to make my friends stay behind, so I went back to join the rest of the group without him. Thankfully, they'd waited for me.

"All right, everyone," Retroquake said. "I need you to form groups of two and three and _stay_ in those groups. That's not to say that you can wander off in those groups. I need you all to stick with the rest of the class. The Sea's a big place, and we're going right to the middle of it."

"How are we getting there?" Breeze asked. _I hope we're not flying. I hate heights._

"By groundbridge," Retroquake said. "The school is generously paying for it. Let's go." He led the way out the front doors. The groundbridge station was only a few breems walk away, so we walked. It would be faster to drive, but the only mecha with alt modes in the class were Retroquake and Thundercracker.

The groundbridge station was crowded, but fortunately we were only there a few breems before we got to the front of the line and Retroquake handed a datapad to the femme operating the bridge.

She looked at it, then put the coordinates into the control panel. "Okay," she said and gave the datapad back to Retroquake. "You can go through. Have fun." _I wouldn’t want to go on a field trip to the Sea of Rust._

The original idea for groundbridges had been based on the ancient spacebridges from before the Quintesson wars, but the modern groundbridge was a fairly recent advancement. It was still very costly and energy inefficient unless you were using to go a long way, but I was sure they'd improve it eventually. In fact, if I was going to research anything, I'd probably go into groundbridge research.

The bridge opened and we walked through into a world of heat and stillness. The portal disappeared behind us.

A hissing sound filled the atmosphere, though no wind stirred the dust at our pedes. Tall, misshapen pillars rose from the ground all around us and my filters were picking up on a few mildly toxic gasses, though nothing significantly dangerous.

"How many of you were expecting the place to be entirely flat so you could see for klicks in all directions?" Retroquake asked.

About half of the class raised their hands.

"Well," Retroquake said. "You were wrong. The sea of rust is not one single terrain type. There are forests, rivers, planes and lakes. The unifying factor," he reached down and picked up a handful of red rust flakes. "Is this." The sea of rust is a ditch where dust and rust and liquid have been collecting for millions of vorns. It also has the worst acid rain in the world, because of the gasses that come up from deep in the ground. Can anyone tell me how these forests are made?" He put a hand against one of the pillars.

I knew, of course, but didn't raise my hand.

"Yes, Ratchet?"

"There's gas coming up out of the top of them," Ratchet said. "It leaves residue on the edge of the vents and over time builds the pillars."

"Yes," Retroquake said. "Very good. That's where the hissing sound comes from. Now, navigation here is tricky, even if you're an adult and have a magnetic locator, but I have a device that will lead us back to this." He set a small container of some sort on the ground, and held up another. "This is our map back to society. If you get separated from the group, you're essentially scrapped, and you know what, if you're stupid enough to wander off, then you deserve it. Don't tell the headmaster I said that or he'll fire me. Do you have your groups of two or three?"

The four of us looked at each other, then Searchlight looked at Thundercracker, who wasn't going to ask to be in our group, but didn't have anyone else to join.

I gestured to myself, then Thundercracker.

Searchlight understood. "Okay,” he said. “Soundwave and Thundercracker then. And the other three of us can be a group. But we'll all stick together." _And we have a seeker, so we don't have to worry about getting lost._

I wasn't so sure about that.

"Follow me; stay in your groups," Retroquake said. "Don't get left behind."

We walked through the forest. Some pillars branched, others connected to make arches. It was really kind of pretty, and you got used to the hissing sound. We'd only gone twenty breems or so when Searchlight saw something in the distance that he wanted a closer look at.

"Hey," he said quietly. "Mechs, let's go check that super tall pillar out." He pointed.

"Are you crazy?" Ratchet demanded. "We're supposed to stay with the class."

"We'll keep them in sight," Searchlight said. "Besides, _I'm_ going and the rules say you have to stick with your group Breeze, you coming?"

"Sure," Breeze said. "This place is really great, don't you think? Just makes you want to draw something."

"Definitely awesome," Searchlight said. _Not so sure about the drawing part._ "Come on, 'Wave, Thundercracker."

 _We're probably going to get lost,_ Thundercracker mused to himself. _Well, I can always fly around until I find the group again._

We waited for a moment when Retroquake wasn't paying attention, then hurried away through the pillars.

"We are in so much trouble," Ratchet said. "If we die out here, it's entirely your fault, Searchlight."

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "That’s fair."

We walked over to the tall pillar. It was wide enough at the base that if we'd all held hands in a circle, we wouldn't be able to reach all the way around. And it went up high into the sky. Thundercracker transformed and flew up around it in a spiral, then came back down.

"It goes up pretty far," he said. "And it's letting out a lot of gasses at the top."

"Cool," Searchlight said. _I wish I had wings._ "It must be pretty fun to fly."

Thundercracker nodded. "You know, you could get a flying altmode," he said. "Though I'm not sure your frame type would support it well. Soundwave's would. He'd be light and agile enough. You, on the other hand, would need really powerful engines just to get off the ground."

"Let's get back to the group before they realize we're gone," Ratchet said.

"I kind of want to go this way a little while longer. We can go faster than the group because they keep stopping to talk about stuff. Who wants to listen to Retroquake go on about why this rust flake is more special than that rust flake? If we go at an angle, then turn and go toward them again, we can cover more ground and see more things without having to listen to lectures. Come on, mechs, this is the Sea of Rust. How cool is that?"

"Exceptionally cool," Thundercracker said flatly. "So cool I have to keep my vents on high so I don't overheat."

"It's only fun until we get lost and starve to death out here!" Ratchet said.

"Oh, come on, we've got a seeker. If we think we're lost, he can just fly around until he finds someone."

"That's not going to work. DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THIS PLACE IS?"

"Oh, calm down, Ratchet," Searchlight said. "We're going to be going sort of parallel to the group, so we won't be far from them. We'll be fine." He led the way through the pillars, angling away from the direction the group was going.

"Even if we find them again, we'll be in trouble," Ratchet said.

"We can just say we got left behind. Besides, Ratchet, it's not like Retroquake would actually do anything. He's a lot of bluster, but I don't think I've ever seen him actually punish anyone."

Ratchet sighed. "You are going to be the death of us all, Searchlight."

"Whatever." Searchlight grinned.

We kept going, pausing at particularly interesting formations.

"You know," Breeze said suddenly. "Our lives are kind of crazy."

Searchlight looked at her. "Really?"

"Yeah," she said. "You know. Fighting bullies, sneaking off on our own during a field trip. I didn't know that sort of thing happened to real mecha. What if we're really characters in a holovid or something?"

"Huh," Searchlight said. _All seems pretty normal to me._

Breeze tilted her helm to the side. "I wonder who the main character is."

"It's me," Ratchet said, "And this is a horror film."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," Searchlight said. "And if this is like a holovid, then so is my whole life."

"You think you're the main character?" Breeze asked.

"No, I think Soundwave is," Searchlight said. "He's the one…" _With magic powers that I almost slipped up and talked about in front of Breeze and Thundercracker. Oops._

"Hmm," Breeze said. "You might be right."

"Do you realize how crazy you sound?" Ratchet said.

"All of us are crazy," Breeze said. "That's why we're friends. Mecha who stand out of the crowd often end up as either friends or enemies. Also, they don't make holovids about the normal, sane ones."

"We are not in a holovid!" Ratchet said. "We are real mecha, and we need to get back to the group before we get lost."

"Okay, Okay," Searchlight said. "Let's turn so we meet up with them."

We turned and walked at an angle to run into the group again.

"You know, the timing of this is going to be really tricky," Breeze said.

"Yeah," Searchlight agreed. "But we just have to get to the general area they're in and then have Thundercracker fly around and find them."

"We are going to be in so much trouble," Ratchet said again. "Why did I let you talk me into this?"

"Because you did," Searchlight said. "It's fine."

We got back to the path Retroquake and the other students had been on.

Thundercracker sighed. "I guess you want me to find them now."

"That would be appreciated," Searchlight said. "Sorry I didn't officially ask you or anything."

Thundercracker shrugged, transformed, and flew away. We watched him make wider and wider circles, flying high up into the sky.

 _I really do wish I had wings,_ Searchlight thought.

Eventually, Thundercracker returned and landed. _We are so smelted._ "Bad news," he said. "I can't see anyone, anywhere, and I have good optics. I flew up until I could see for about twenty kliks in all directions, and there was nothing."

Ratchet turned slowly to regard Searchlight. _I will kill you! I'll rip your helm off and feed it to Ravage._

"Are you sure?" Searchlight asked.

"I could try a wider perimeter," Thundercracker said. _See, I really should have picked better friends. I wish someone with some sense had helped me get out of that closet._ "But don't move, or I might not be able to find you when I come back." He transformed and flew off again.

"I _told_ you," Ratchet said. "I _told_ you you'd get lost. I _told_ you we should have stayed with the group."

"They can't have gone that far," Searchlight said.

"What if they changed directions?" Ratchet demanded.

"Well, then," Searchlight said, "I guess we're scrapped."

"How are you still so calm about this!"

"Look, Ratchet, the situation isn't desperate yet."

Breeze shook her helm. "He probably won't be worried until we're actually dying. You know, Ratchet, you conserve energy if you don't panic."

"I am not panicking! I am going to kill him!"

Searchlight sat down. "It's going to be fine." _You don't have to be so touchy._

"We are going to _die_ out here!"

"No," Searchlight said. "We aren't going to die. We'll find a way back. You're such a pessimist."

"We wouldn't even be in _danger_ of dying if it weren't for you!"

"Come _on_ Ratchet, I'm not going to let any of you die, okay? So you can calm down about it."

"You say that like you have any control over the situation!"

"Ratchet," Breeze said. "You really should calm down. You'll die faster if you don't. And besides, characters in holovids who get lost don't usually die."

"Yeah?" Ratchet said. "Unless they're in a horror film! Then all of them die!"

"Not necessarily," Breeze said. "But most of them usually do. Like, Thundercracker would probably get picked off first. He just won't come back. Then maybe Soundwave will vanish, and we won't notice at first because he's so quiet anyway. Then our bold and fearless leader, Searchlight will get attacked by something, or vent in some poisonous gasses or something and die gruesomely. Then one of us would go too. You'd probably be left out here all alone, and then by the time search parties found you, you'd have gone completely insane."

We all looked at her.

"What?" she said cheerfully.

"Why are we talking about this!" Ratchet demanded. "This is reality!"

 _I hope we stay out here all off-cycle._ Searchlight thought. _Breeze could probably tell some seriously scary stories._

"Y-you know," I said.

They all looked at me.

"I can find them."

It took them an astrosecond to figure out what I was talking about. "Oh," Searchlight said. "Hey, that's right. Can you…" He shot a look at Breeze. _Oops. I almost said something I shouldn't have._

"Is it wise, though," Breeze said, "To stretch your range that far?"

 _What!_ Searchlight stared at Breeze.

"I mean, won't it hurt?"

I shook my helm. "There's no-o one around."

"Wait," Searchlight said. "Breeze knows?"

"Breeze knows?" Ratchet demanded. "Breeze knows what?"

"Breeze?" Searchlight stared at her.

She shrugged. "Surprise?"

"How long?"

"Since the scavenger hunt. I heard you and Soundwave talking." She shifted her doorings up, then down again. "Doorwings and everything."

"Oh," Searchlight said, putting a hand to his faceplate. "Sorry, Soundwave."

I shrugged. It was fine.

"It _would_ probably be better if you didn't talk about it in so many public places," Breeze said. "But don't worry. I won't tell anyone. I really won't."

"Why didn't you say something before?" Searchlight asked. "I've spent all this time trying really hard not to let you find out."

"Sorry," Breeze said. "It was kind of funny when you'd almost slip up."

Searchlight got up and brushed rust off of his legs. "All right, maybe I can see that."

"So," Breeze said. "If Soundwave can find the group, what do we tell Thundercracker?"

Searchlight shrugged. _We could tell him Soundwave's just got a really good sense of direction… I don't think that's going to cut it._

"We could just tell him we can't tell him," Breeze said. "Do you think he'd accept that, Soundwave?" _You'd know best. You've been in his helm._

"He mi-i-ight," I said.

"Or we could tell him too," Ratchet growled. "Let's tell the whole fragging world already."

"Hey," Searchlight said. "You were the one who told Verdict."

"They were _torturing_ me."

Searchlight opened his lip plates to say something about that, but then shook his helm.

"Wait," Breeze said. "Who was what?"

Before Searchlight could answer, Breeze's doorwings picked up a distant engine sound and she looked up. We all followed her gaze to see Thundercracker coming back toward us. He kicked up a cloud of rust when he landed.

"So," he said. "I think I saw them. They're over that way," he pointed the direction he'd come. "I don't know how they got that far, unless we got turned around and were going in the opposite direction they were or something."

 _I wonder if we were,_ Breeze thought. _It's not too hard to get turned around in this place._

We followed Thundercracker for a while, in the direction he'd said the class was. After several breems of walking, the towers thinned out a little, and we started to see pools and various kinds of crystals. I started to pick up on some interesting things. This part of the sea, while not particularly lively, _was_ inhabited. There were many nanite-sized creatures on the rocks around us. I stretched out my range a little, listening to them.

"This place is pretty," Breeze said.

"Yeah," Searchlight stopped by a pool of what looked like energon. "Think this is safe to drink?" he asked.

"No!" Ratchet said. "Don't even think about it."

I walked up behind Searchlight and my range came over a higher-level symbiont of some sort, that was watching us carefully, waiting for us to come close enough. I froze.

"Oh well," Searchlight said and started walking around the pool.

"Wa-ait!" I said.

He stopped. They were all looking at me—even Thundercracker. I looked in the direction the symbiont was, but I couldn't see it anywhere. That was kind of unnerving. Was it invisible somehow?

"Maybe we-e should…"

"What?" Searchlight asked.

"…not… go-o tha-at way,"

 _What? That's the way we need to go if we want to get back to the group._ Thundercracker thought.

"Why?" Searchlight said.

_No… come closer. Just a little closer…_

Searchlight walked back toward me a step.

 _No!_ The pillar behind him suddenly came alive, bending at the base and reaching out for him. Breeze screamed and Searchlight instinctively jumped forward, away from the rusty grinding sound of the living pillar behind him. The top of it split open, revealing rows of spinning teeth.

We all backed away as it strained toward us.

 _Oh Primus,_ Searchlight stared at it. _That thing is so big… at least it can't reach us._

Wrong.

It started writhing, pulling itself up out of the ground.

We backed away, but not fast enough and it pulled free and lunged at us again. Thundercracker took flight and the rest of us turned and ran. I had never been so panicked in my life. It chased us around pools of acid, and between pillars, gaining little by little until it backed us up against a giant pond of steaming red-brown liquid.

It reared up, and a long, barbed tongue shot out from its mouth.

_I need something… a container… 'Wave, do you have an empty energon cube?_

Yes. I pulled it out of subspace and handed it to him. He turned and scooped up some of the liquid in the pond, just as the monster lunged again, right at Ratchet. Ratchet leaped out of the way, knocking Breeze over. The monster missed, mouth hitting the ground where Ratchet had been, but its tongue snaked out and grabbed his leg.

Searchlight threw the cube of acid at a lump near its mouth that he guessed was an optic.

The liquid splashed all over, hissing and bubbling against the rusty metal monster. It screamed and reared, and the motion sent Ratchet flying. Breeze and I used the distraction to run away, skirting the edge of the acid pond.

Searchlight used the distraction to run toward Ratchet, who hit the ground nearby and rolled to a stop.

The enraged pillar monster turned and chased after Searchlight. He scooped Ratchet up and kept running, but he wasn't going to make it. Breeze and I stopped to watch—both of us horrified.

Then Thundercracker swooped in and collided with the side of the thing's helm, knocking it off course and giving Searchlight an opportunity to run away. It let out another unearthly shriek and snapped at Thundercracker instead. The seeker flew around it, keeping it occupied.

"Run!" Searchlight yelled in our direction.

Oh. Right.

Breeze and I sprinted after him. We kept going until we were far enough away we couldn't see the monster through the pillars.

Searchlight set Ratchet down and leaned heavily against a pillar, venting hard. When he'd scooped up acid from the lake in that energon cube, he'd gotten some on his hand, and he could still feel it eating through his mesh.

Thundercracker flew over clumsily and landed hard, nearly crashing.

Relative silence fell, leaving a ringing sound in our audios.

"Ratch…" Searchlight said. "Ratch, you okay? Mech…

Ratchet slowly un-shuttered one optic. "Is it gone?" he whispered.

"Yeah," Searchlight said, then let out a shaky laugh and sank to his knees. "That…" he said, and laughed harder.

Ratchet sat up, wincing. "It's not funny!" he said. "What the pit is wrong with you?"

Searchlight laughed even harder.

Ratchet studied his pede where the pillar monster had grabbed him with its tongue. He was leaking a little from the holes the barbs had left, but it didn't hurt as much as Searchlight's hand.

Thundercracker sat up with a groan and put a hand to his helm. _I was not flying right. Crashing into that thing must have messed something up. I swear, that stupid groundpounder._ "Shut up! I wish it had eaten you."

Searchlight calmed down a little. "What?"

"You heard me," Thundercracker growled.

"Hey, it didn't. We're alive. Scrap, that thing was…"

"If you say 'awesome' I will rip your voice box out," Ratchet said. "Why is your hand smoking?"

"Uh…" Searchlight frowned at it. "It's fine."

"Did you get acid on it? You should wash that off. It could damage your motor functions and you'd need a complete replacement."

"You bring anything to wash it off with?" Searchlight said.

Ratchet glared at him.

"Next time," Thundercracker said, "You can get yourself lost all by yourself. I'll be Ratchet's partner."

We should probably keep going. If that thing came for us again, we were in a lot of trouble. I looked back the way we'd come, tempted to stretch out my range and make sure it wasn't following us. "We-e should..."

"Keep going," Thundercracker finished for me, getting to his pedes. "Away from that thing."

"Which way was the group?" Breeze asked.

Silence fell.

"Fantastic," Ratchet said. "We're lost all over again."

"I hit it pretty hard," Thundercracker said. "I can still fly, but something's wrong with my balance, and I don't want to risk it."

Searchlight shuttered his optics, trying to remember what direction we'd been going when we'd run into the monster, and where we'd been since then.

"I co-ould..."

"No," Searchlight said. _You can't expand your range like that. What if they send us home before it shrinks again._

Good point. That would not be fun at all.

"I think we need to go this way," he pointed back toward the pillar monster. "We'll just kind of go around the swamp place and we should be fine."

"What if that's not the only one?" Breeze said.

Searchlight looked at me. _You can warn us if we get close to another one, right?_

I nodded.

Thundercracker frowned. _What is going on? And how did Soundwave know that thing was there? I'm missing something._

Searchlight needed to stop getting us into these situations.

"Well, let's go," he said, holding out his good hand to help Ratchet to his pedes.

* * *

It wasn't really much fun after that, and we were making slow progress. Ratchet limped, Thundercracker had a pretty bad processor ache, Breeze was feeling traumatized and jumpy, and after a while, even Searchlight started to worry that we wouldn't make it. The sky went from blue to red-gold to maroon, and finally to black, and Searchlight called a halt.

We all sat down and the silence stretched out for almost a breem before Breeze broke it. "So..." she said quietly. "I have a cube of energon in my subspace we can share."

"Breeze," Searchlight said. "That is the best thing I've heard all day. You are amazing."

She looked down, pleased and embarrassed, as usual. Then she got the cube out of subspace. "I guess everyone just take some, and we'll pass it around until it's empty." She swallowed a mouthful and passed it to Ratchet, who did the same. Searchlight just pretended to drink from it, and passed it to Thundercracker. When it got to me, I just handed it to Breeze.

"'Wave," Searchlight said.

I looked at him. He gave in.

 _He doesn't have a faceplate... how does he eat?_ Thundercracker wondered.

The cube went around again, ending with Thundercracker, who downed the last of it and set it to the side.

"Hey, do you think you'll be able to fly next orn?" Searchlight asked.

"Probably," the seeker said.

"Okay, then let's all get some rest," Searchlight said.

No one was going to complain about that.

* * *

I woke in the middle of the off-cycle and couldn't get back to recharge because Searchlight was up too, looking up at the stars. The other three were all recharging fitfully.

I sat up, and Searchlight glanced in my direction before looking away again.

"Hey, 'Wave,"

I got up and went to sit next to him.

"You okay?"

I nodded.

"Ratchet's probably right, isn't he? We could all die out here."

I shrugged.

Searchlight sighed. "I don't want you to try to expand your range and find the group, but..." _If Thundercracker can't find them, or if he's still having trouble flying..._

It could be our only hope of survival.

 _They'll probably send out search parties. So it might be best if we stay put, or go somewhere a little more open, where they could find us more easily. If it gets too long, we'll all just run out of power and offline… If it comes to it, they could siphon my energon and keep themselves alive._ He looked at me, and I shook my helm. _It'd be kind of hard to convince you mecha to do that, huh?_

I shook my helm again. That was not an option.

"This is my fault, though," Searchlight said. "If I was going to do something stupid like this, I shouldn't have dragged the rest of you with me."

I wanted to point out that if he hadn't dragged us with him, we'd still be worried about him. In fact, the rest of us might be having a worse time if we hadn't followed him. But I didn't feel like starting an actual conversation. "I-I'll keep wa-a-atch," I said.

Searchlight hesitated. He _was_ exhausted.

I nodded slightly.

"Are you sure?" Searchlight said. "If you do end up needing to expand your range to find everyone, then you're going to want to be well-rested."

I nodded. I was certain. "I'm o-okay."

So Searchlight curled up by a pillar and shut himself down. I lay down as well and looked up at the stars. You could see so many more stars when there wasn't city light all over the place. They made a brilliant array of light and darkness in the sky, almost too beautiful to comprehend.

I was scared, of course, that we were going to die out here, but I couldn't help but think that if I _was_ going to die, it was nice that I had seen this first.

The last time I had been this alone, and I _had_ stretched out my range too far, and I had thought I'd heard Primus's voice. Our god had created Cybertron and her sun and moons. But I wondered about those other stars, and who could have created them, or if they hadn't needed to be created. If they'd just come about on their own.

I wondered too about Primus, if he knew we were out here. I wondered if he watched mecha starve to death, or get murdered in dark alleys, and what he thought of that and why he didn't help them.

Even if I asked, I didn't think he would answer.

* * *

The search party found us just as the sun was rising. Breeze and Thundercracker and I were awake already, and the others came out of recharge when the three mechs came rumbling through the pillars in their alt modes. They were nearly as relieved as we were that they'd found us.

We got to ride back on them to the rest of the group, and Retroquake, who was also very relieved, yelled at us for a few breems. Then they sent Searchlight, Ratchet and Thundercracker back to Iacon with the search parties so they could get some medical attention. Breeze and I stayed for the rest of the field trip.

We were very well-behaved.

I was glad when it was over, glad when we went back through the groundbridge and walked to the school. It was only the middle of the orn in the Sea of Rust, but the sun was already going down back in Iacon. That was fine with me.

I went to my room. Ravage looked up from the desk when I came in and jumped up at me as enthusiastically as he usually jumped on Ratchet.

"How was the field trip?" He asked once he'd settled on my shoulders.

I sat on my berth and reached up to stroke behind his audios. "Se-earchlight almost got us ki-i-illed."

"Oh," Ravage said. _Like when we went camping?_

Exactly like that. I nodded.

Ravage curled his tail around my neck. "Did you get hurt?"

I shook my helm.

"Good." _Soundwave's much smarter than Searchlight. He's probably the smartest mech ever. Of course he wouldn't get hurt._ "What happened?"

I hesitated, then told him about it in broken, halting phrases. We should probably go to Searchlight's room in a few breems so I could explain to him what the bullies were doing so that we could work out a plan to stop them. But for now, I was content to sit here and talk to the one person who didn't even notice my stutter.

It was good to be back.


	25. Justice

I didn't go talk to Searchlight that off-cycle because I had homework I needed to do, but the next orn, I went to his room as soon as classes were over.

"Hey, 'Wave," Searchlight was sitting on his berth, playing a game on his datapad. _Hey, are you ever going to tell me what Verdict and the others are planning? I kind of need to know, and it’d be good to know before the meeting this orn._

I pulled my datapad out of subspace and typed up a paragraph explaining that they intended to steal something from the headmaster's office and plant it among Searchlight's things.

He took it when I was finished and read it, frowning.

 _Wow. That's lame._ "Hmm… I guess they have to do something like this. That's not too hard to avoid, though. If something weird shows up in my stuff, I can just… I don't know, turn it in to lost and found or something like that."

I held out my hand for the datapad, and he gave it back to me. [Even better. We could just tell Cablereach and he can pass the message on to the headmaster, who can catch Verdict in the act.]

He read it. "Well… yeah, that's probably the best idea." _I was kind of hoping for a way to get rid of him that was a little more exciting, but... Actually, this would be really funny._ "I like that plan."

It was simple, straightforward, and hopefully effective.

"I mean, it's kind of boring, but if it gets that glitch out of here… honestly, I'm surprised they think this will work."

Breeze came in. "What are we talking about?" she said. _I could only hear one half of that conversation._

Searchlight handed her the datapad.

"Oh, wow. How are they even going to do that?"

They had it all worked out. It was actually a pretty solid plan except that I knew about it. They were probably hoping that I didn't know, or that I was too intimidated to do anything.

Other students in Searchlight's anti-Verdict group started showing up. I typed a brief message warning Searchlight not to tell them too much about Verdict's plan, because if the bullies even suspected that we knew, they'd back out or change something. He nodded, though he really wanted to tell them.

"So," Searchlight said once everyone was there. "Anything happened while we were gone?"

"Not too much," one of the other students said. "Verdict and his friends haven't really done anything new. It's like they're waiting for something."

"Yeah," Searchlight said. _Waiting for me to come back so they can try and get me expelled. Ha._ "Definitely up to something. Well, don't worry. We've got a plan."

They looked at him expectantly.

"I can't tell you what it is, though," he said.

"What?" one of the other students demanded. "Why?"

"Because," Searchlight said… _I could tell them a little bit, right?_

I shook my helm slightly.

 _Fine, fine…_ "You know, just wait and see," Searchlight said. "If it works, then I'll tell you about it afterward."

"Why can't you tell us now?" the first student asked. "Can't you trust us?"

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "But if even a little bit of it gets back to Jazz or Verdict, then it won't work, so it's just better if as few mechs as possible know."

"Will you need help, though?" another student asked.

"Nah," Searchlight leaned back in his chair. "It's covered—we aren't even going to be involved. Obviously, Verdict’s going to get _himself_ expelled…"

"Aw, come on, now you _have_ to tell us."

"After," Searchlight replied. "I'll explain the whole thing afterward."

I wasn't sure how he was going to do that without revealing that I could read minds. But at least he wasn't explaining it to them right now.

"How long will we have to wait?"

"Not long," Searchlight said. "Don't worry." _When are they planning this?_ He looked at me.

I was pretty sure it was going to be this off-cycle. No time to lose.

* * *

The other students weren't too happy about being left out, and there wasn't really much else to talk about so after a few more breems, the meeting was over. I went to tell Ravage I'd get him in a few breems, then went to Cablereach's office. He was there, and let me in.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

I nodded and sat down in front of him. He handed me a datapad and I outlined for him what Verdict was planning to do. After he read it he sat back, thoughtful.

"So, this is going to happen this off-cycle?"

I nodded.

"Short notice." He said. "But I should have enough time to put precautions in place and talk to Graycharter about it. I'm sure he'll be just as happy as I am to get some real solid evidence against Verdict—his creators won't be able to get him out of being caught in the act of stealing. I mean maybe they could, but I doubt they'll go to such lengths. They'll unleash him on some other poor school, no doubt, but we might actually be rid of him here if this pans out… thank you, Soundwave."

I shrugged, uncomfortable.

"No, really," Cablereach said. "Have you ever thought about going into detective work? I bet you'd be wonderful at it."

"I'd ha-ave to ta-a-alk," I said.

"Oh, right," Cablereach realized. "You know, if you worked with a good speech pathologist…" _You could get rid of that stutter._

I shrugged. Breeze had actually told me she'd try to help me with my stutter, but she hadn't thought about it for a while.

"Was there anything else?" Cablereach asked. I shook my helm.

* * *

After leaving Cablereach's office, I went to pick Ravage up and take him with me to Searchlight's room. Ratchet had showed up since I left and was in a bad mood because his project he'd done with Shockwave hadn't gone very well. In his absence, Shockwave had caved and let Wheeljack build a 'very small, harmless prototype' of what they had been proposing. It had actually worked as far as I could tell, but they hadn't been able to turn it off, and it had made a mess, then burned itself out.

Personally, I thought it could have gone a lot worse, but Ratchet wasn't satisfied.

Ravage jumped on him as soon as we got into the room, and there was the expected yelling and pushing and throwing things. Poor Ratchet. He probably needed a psychiatrist at least as much as I did.

We filled him in on what was going on with the bullies, but he just grumbled a bit about the bullies being stupid and buried himself in his homework.

After a while, Shockwave showed up. The door was open and he stood outside for a few astroseconds feeling awkward, before Searchlight noticed him and waved him in.

"Hey. Shockwave, right?"

Shockwave nodded, and stepped inside.

"What do you want?" Ratchet didn't look up from the datapad on his desk.

"I'm sorry," Shockwave said. "I tested the prototype earlier and it worked fine. And the teacher gave us extra credit for going beyond what the assignment called for." _We got 120% on the whole thing. I'm not sure what Ratchet's so mad about._

At least part of it was that Ratchet was mad they hadn't let him help build it. But he wasn't even admitting that to himself.

"It isn't your fault," Ratchet sad. "Your friend was the one who…"

"Wheeljack wouldn't have done it if I hadn't said it was okay. It's not his fault either. We got a good grade and the teacher even talked to me afterward and asked if you and I wanted to work with her on the research portion a little, to maybe get it published or at least read by some actual scientists."

"Really?" Ratchet said, finally looking up.

"Yes. You stormed off after the report was over, so she couldn't ask you about it, but she told me to pass on the offer. Our device might actually be made into a real tool. They might start using it!"

"I… I mean…"

"I'm really excited too," Shockwave said, optics shining. "I have to go right now because Wheeljack and I are working on another project together, and I'm not technically supposed to leave him alone in the lab, but I'll talk to you about it next orn in class, all right?"

"All right," Ratchet said.

"Thanks!" Shockwave turned to leave, then back again. "Are you still mad?"

"Of course not," Ratchet said. "I was never mad at _you._ "

"Okay," Shockwave said, and left.

Ratchet stared after him. "Can you believe it?" he whispered. "A project, a paper _I_ worked on might get published!"

"Remind me," Searchlight said. "Why are you not a science emphasis?"

"What?"

"Why are you going into politics when you seem to like science so much?"

"I do not."

"Ratchet," Searchlight said. "Every elective you take is a science class. And you complain the loudest about your science tests, but you also talk about the stuff you learned in those classes the most." _And I have no idea why he thinks he can succeed in politics._ "And I'm in a lot of your government-related classes because that's _my_ emphasis too, so don't try to tell me you like them as much as the science ones, because I _know_ you don't."

"Are you suggesting I change my emphasis?"

"Don't get all defensive," Searchlight said. "I'm just asking."

Ratchet looked down. "I am not changing my emphasis." _My creators would be so disappointed. They want me to go into government, so that's what I'm going to do. I can still make them proud._

Searchlight looked at me. _Do you know what his deal is, 'Wave?_

I wished they would stop asking me things like that. If I could, I would turn off my mind reading and stop learning everyone's secrets. They had no right to use me as a well of information.

As the orn progressed, Searchlight and Ratchet and I got more nervous about the bullies. At this point, there was nothing we could do to change the outcome of this off-cycle. We’d just have to wait and see what happened.

Eventually, lights out neared, and I got up to leave.

"Well," Searchlight said, as Ravage jumped up onto my shoulders. "Let's hope this works."

I nodded and walked out the door.

* * *

I didn't recharge well that off-cycle. I kept wanting to stretch out my range so I could hear what was happening, but I knew that was a really bad idea. I kept feeling like this was going to go horribly wrong somehow, but there was no way to tell. I had left Searchlight's room shortly after Shockwave had shown up so I could sneak over to Verdict's room and confirm that they were still going to go forward with their plan. They were certain that even if I did know, we wouldn't tell anyone. They figured it would be hard for me to explain exactly _how_ I knew and they could use it as evidence that I could read minds. They didn't know I had a teacher on my side.

If this worked… if this worked, Verdict would be gone. Maybe Jazz and Motormaster too if we were lucky. But at this point, it was completely out of my hands. All I could do was hope that everything went right.

I ran over their plan again and again in my processor as I lay online on my berth. Jazz would hack the camera systems and Verdict would sneak into the headmaster's office and steal something, preferably something with a lot of value. Jazz had found a way to mess with the video feed, and make Verdict look kind of like Searchlight—at least in the darkness. After that, they would meet up in Verdict's room and Jazz would go plant the object in Searchlight's room.

They intended to somehow supply an anonymous tip to the headmaster that Searchlight had stolen something. It would be among Searchlight's things, and Searchlight's word wouldn't mean anything because he was only lower middle class—It was generally accepted that those of lower classes tended to be less trustworthy. I had actually found the opposite to be true in most cases, but who was I to say anything about the matter?

It took a long time, but eventually, fatigue won out and I slipped into recharge and didn't come out of it until the new orn had dawned.

* * *

I got up and made my way groggily to my first class. About halfway through, the teacher got a comm. asking me to go to the headmaster's office. Silently hoping this meant good news, I got up and made my way there. Verdict was already there, with Motormaster and Jazz. Ratchet and Searchlight came into my range just as I got there. They'd been called in as well.

The headmaster let us in and we all sat down. "Good orn," he said.

"Good orn, sir," Searchlight replied. No one else said anything.

"So," the headmaster said. "It's come to my attention that you six have been having a sort of rivalry." _For which they are all in a lot of trouble._ "Is that correct?"

No one said anything.

"Searchlight?"

"Yes," Searchlight said. "As I'm sure you know, Verdict makes a habit of hurting anyone he doesn't like."

"I didn't call you here to point fingers, Searchlight," the headmaster said. "I want to know if you have participated in recruiting groups of students to fight against each other."

Searchlight hesitated, then nodded. "I did."

The headmaster looked at Verdict, who didn't say anything.

"Do you know how unacceptable that is?" The headmaster said. _I should expel all of them._

Oh, great.

"But..." Searchlight said.

"In fact, according to reports, several of the students _you_ drafted into your group were hurt."

Searchlight opened his mouth to argue that Verdict had been the one to hurt them, but I cut in before he could talk.

"Wha-at should we-e ha-a-ave done?"

"You should have brought your complaints to me. We cannot have rival gangs on this campus. This school is a place for learning and growing, not for playing at war. Do you understand, Searchlight?"

Searchlight almost argued, and I almost had to step in again and stop him, but then he deflated. "Yes. I understand."

"Thank you," the headmaster said. "Fortunately for you, I have no evidence that any of the mecha in your following harmed anyone else. So, provided the rest of this conversation goes well, I will refrain from expelling you, but if anything like this happens again, you will not have another chance. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you. Now, Verdict."

"I tell you," Verdict said. "I am not…"

"No," The headmaster replied. "You will listen to me first, or you won't have an opportunity to say anything."

Verdict glared at the ground. _It was you, Soundwave, wasn't it? You're the one who told them. You'll pay for this._

"Now, I understand you also built up a group to fight against Searchlight's. Am I wrong, Verdict?"

He wanted to deny it. But it was a little too late for that. "No," he growled.

"And they _did_ physically harm several other students this term."

Verdict didn't answer.

"And when that wasn't enough to frighten everyone into submission, you decided to steal from me in the hopes that you could frame Searchlight and get him expelled. Is that correct?"

"Who told you that?" Verdict demanded.

"The informant in this case would like to remain anonymous." _I don't know where Cablereach keeps getting his information._ "Besides, it doesn’t matter. You were caught on a legal recording device."

 _It's useless for me to deny it._ "How did they know?" Verdict asked. "It's not like I told anyone I was going to do this." _It had to have been Soundwave, unless…it couldn't have been Jazz, could it? I'll have to talk to him afterward._

"So you're not going to try to deny it. That's refreshing."

Verdict glared at him. "Well, it would be pointless, wouldn't it?"

"Fairly pointless, yes."

"What are you going to do?" Verdict asked.

"Well," the headmaster said. "Searchlight, Soundwave, and Ratchet. You three will have detention for three quartexes. And we will certainly be contacting all of your creators about this."

Searchlight almost said something again, but the headmaster spoke first. "And you three. Verdict, Motormaster, and Jazz… well, Verdict, you will be expelled. The other two might be suspended again…"

"They weren't involved," Verdict said. "Neither of them helped me." _I need them to stay here—I'm not done yet. Soundwave has to pay for this._

Oh great.

"You take full responsibility for this?" The headmaster was nothing short of shocked.

"Yes," Verdict said. "It was me. They didn't do anything."

"Well, I know _that's_ not true," he said. "But if you insist they are not guilty of assisting in your theft, then… I suppose I will tentatively take your word for it."

Verdict nodded. "They aren't responsible."

"Very well," the headmaster said. "Jazz, Motormaster, you will join the other three in detention for the same duration, and I will be keeping a close optic on you."

No, he needed to expel them. I did not want whatever revenge Verdict had in mind. It would either involve Motormaster beating the slag out of me, or them somehow exposing my abilities. Maybe both.

"Verdict," the headmaster said, "I will now offer you the chance to apologize to Searchlight for attempting to get him expelled, and after that I would like you to go to your room and start packing your things. I will contact your creators. I want you out by the end of the orn."

 _Yes!_ Searchlight could barely contain his grin. _We did it!_

Verdict glared at Searchlight. "Go to pit, gutter scrap," he said, then got up and stormed out of the headmaster's office.

The headmaster sighed, then turned to Motormaster and Jazz. "You two be warned. I am _done_ with your troublemaking. Any further infractions of the rules will be punished severely. Don't think I won't expel either or both of you the astrosecond you make trouble. Also, Searchlight, I want you to disband your little club. Tell them they risk sharing your detention sentence if they continue to meet with you."

"All right," Searchlight said.

"And the same goes to you about breaking the rules. No fighting of any sort will be allowed on this campus. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." _He turned a blind optic to it when it was all Verdict._

"Thank you. All five of you may leave now."

Searchlight, Ratchet, and I went out the door first. Searchlight could barely contain his excitement, and Ratchet was almost cheerful as well. I wasn't so happy, but that was because I had Jazz and Verdict both directing angry, threatening thoughts at me, and Motormaster wanted to hurt all of us.

But for all Searchlight knew, I was ecstatic. A blessing and a curse, this screen I had for a face. Usually a curse.

We walked down the hallway and around the corner.

"Ratchet, tell everyone in the group who you see in your classes," Searchlight said. "We need to have a meeting…"

"What! The headmaster said…"

"We have to tell them all the news. You know, that Verdict is leaving and that we can't have any more meetings. Honestly, Ratchet, you don't think I'd go directly against what the headmaster said, do you? How am I supposed to 'disband my little club' if we don't call a meeting?"

Ratchet just shook his helm.

"Wow," Searchlight said. "I can't believe that actually happened. Soundwave, you saved the school."

Jazz had heard that. I turned to stare at Searchlight, but he didn't sense my exasperation.

We went back to class.

* * *

After all of our classes were done, we had a very brief, celebratory meeting in which Searchlight explained what had happened—claiming that I'd just overheard the bullies talking, of course—and that now Verdict was going to leave by the end of the orn. After that, we went to detention. We were a little late, but the teacher there didn't mind too much. Word had spread somehow that Verdict was getting expelled and the whole of detention was full of whispered conversations about it.

At the end of the orn, Verdict's creators showed up to pick him up and half the school crowded the hallways to see him off.

We watched from a window on the third floor of the classroom wing as Verdict and his creators drove away in the transport they had brought. Several students with us in the crowded hallway cheered.

"Well, mechs," Searchlight said, throwing an arm around my shoulders, and one around Breeze's as well. "…and femme."

Breeze rolled her optics, but smiled.

"Now we don't have anything hanging over us like acid storm clouds. The rest of the term is going to be awesome."

 _Yes,_ Breeze's smile deepened _Oh, Primus, I can't believe I'm standing this close to him._

I winced. Sappy, lovesick femme.

There were so many around me who were feeling happy that I couldn't help joining them, but when I was back in my room with only Ravage for company, I worried again. It was great that Verdict would be gone. But Verdict knew my secret, and he knew it was me who had gotten him expelled.


	26. Revenge

During my second class the next orn, I got a message from Jazz.

[Meet in the auditorium after detention. We can negotiate. No teachers, no tricks. Come alone, or you'll be sorry.]

That was all—that was the entire message. He didn't even specify what we'd be negotiating about. My abilities? If he had evidence, he wouldn't need to negotiate about anything. If I wanted I could just decide not to show up. This was quite obviously some sort of trap, and I wasn't going to walk right into it.

As the orn continued, though, I started to worry. Jazz wasn't stupid. He must know I wouldn't fall for this. I waited anxiously for the class we had together so I could try to figure out what he was doing.

But he wasn't in Cablereach's class, and neither he nor Motormaster were in detention.

Searchlight realized I was being even quieter than usual and kept asking me what was wrong, but I didn’t want to say anything.

After detention. The old auditorium.

I wasn't going to go, of course. I ought to tell Cablereach or someone, but the warning that I would be sorry nagged at me. I needed to think about it for a while before I made a decision about what to do. I needed to figure out what their plan was.

After detention, I went right past Searchlight's room. He watched me go and wondered if I was just going to bring Ravage or if I wanted to be alone. He wondered again what was bothering me. He had asked if I'd had a test, but I had told him I hadn't and that I was fine.

As I approached my room, I started to get the itchy feeling that something wasn't quite right.—that something was missing. I was almost to the door when I realized what was wrong. I stopped, and my energon froze in its lines.

No. Primus, no…

I ran through the message in my processor again. Meet in the auditorium after detention. We can negotiate. No teachers, no tricks. Come alone or you'll be sorry.

I turned and walked away from my empty room and toward the auditorium.

* * *

The auditorium was dark, but not empty. Jazz and Motormaster were waiting on the stage, sitting on a rectangular table someone had left out. I had to cross the entire room to get to them.

"So," Jazz said. "Ya decided ta show up."

"Whe-ere is Ravage?" I asked.

Motormaster didn't know, and Jazz was refusing to think about it. I stood, waiting for him to slip up. They had better not have hurt him…

"Sorry," Jazz said. "I'll let ya know, but not for nothin'."

_We're going to pound you, freak._

I took half a step back. "Wha-a-at do y-you want?"

"Come here." _Up on the stage with us so you can't get away._ Jazz grinned. _We have you now, don't we? You'll do anything we want._

Tanks churning, I stepped up onto the stage and approached them. He was right, of course. I'd give anything in return for Ravage.

"So-o wha-at do you wa-ant?" I asked again.

"I want proof. Solid proof ya can read minds. I wanna record ya talking about it and explaining how it works and what the limits of your power are." _And you're gonna talk until I'm satisfied ya aren't lying._

"Why?"

"So I can have it," Jazz said. "So I can know for myself, and so I can pass it on ta Verdict, who can make good use of it, whenever he feels like it." He smiled again. _You'll never know when._

I stared, spark sinking. He had me and he knew it and he intended to turn the rest of my life into a game of looking over my shoulder. I would never know when someone was coming for me. Even if he never gave the evidence to anyone, I would be worried about it.

"Tell me-e-e whe-ere Ravage i-is."

"No," Jazz shook his helm, smiling still. "Not until you've talked." _I'm recording this conversation. You're slagged, mech, stop trying._

"Ple-e-ease, y-you do-on't have to do-o-o this."

"You're the one who tipped off the headmaster aren't ya?" _We didn't tell anyone else, and you're the only one who could have said anything, besides me._ "A scene flashed through his processor where Verdict had backed him up against the wall and demanded to know if he'd been the headmaster's anonymous informant. He banished the memory, but it was too late and I had already seen. He was scared too, because Verdict could get him in a lot of trouble if he wanted to.

 _But now ya see why I need this as well._ "So start talking, Stutter."

"Jazz, do you kno-o-ow wha-at wo-o-ould ha-a-appe-en if me-echa fo-ound o-o-out?"

"I can imagine," Jazz said. "They'd make ya disappear at the very least. Don't worry, I'll think real hard before I give the evidence ta anymech. Can't say as much for Verdict, though."

I looked down. "Do-o-o you pro-omise to-o give Ra-avage back?"

I'd have to ask Cablereach to help me go into hiding. No, I couldn't. This was my fall, and I'd take it on my own. I wasn't going to make this choice and then ask Cablereach to face the consequences of it.

"Yeah, I promise" Jazz said. _He's just in Verdict's room… frag it!_

Relief flooded through me. Well, I could leave now. I turned to go.

"Hey!" Jazz said. Motormaster reached out to grab me, but I dodged and turned to run for the door. I wasn't fast enough. Motormaster tackled me, slamming me down into the auditorium stairs. Then he dragged me back to the stage. Primus, this was not good. I was going to die.

"Okay," Jazz said. "Let's try this a little differently."

"y-y-you're go-oing to get e-expelled fo-o-or this."

"Yeah, I know. I don't fragging care. Talk and I'll let ya go."

"No," Motormaster said. "We tried this your way, Jazz, and it didn't work."

"What?" Jazz said.

"Now I'm doing this my way. Verdict didn't say exactly how he wanted to get revenge."

Jazz crossed his arms. "Well, he did say he wanted proof Soundwave could read minds."

"I'm done with you and your slagging plans. We're doing this my way now."

"Fine," Jazz said. "Fine, whatever."

Motormaster slammed me against the wall and then drove his fist into the side of my helm. I tried to call out to Jazz. He didn't understand. He didn't realize that Motormaster was actually going to kill me, that he was going to enjoy it. Motormaster let me fall to the ground and kicked me a few times, just getting warmed up. Then he picked me up and slammed me into the table. My screen hit the sharp corner and cracked. I screamed as hot pain washed over me.

"Hey, Motor," Jazz said. _He needs to calm down a little or he'll really hurt him._

"You got Verdict expelled," Motormaster dragged me away from the table. "You're gonna pay."

I groped at my cracked visor. He slammed me into the table again, this time deliberately smashing my face against the corner. My screen shattered and I cried out again as I felt it fall away.

 _Oh, Primus._ "Motor! Stop."

He slammed me into the corner of the table again. I felt energon pouring from where my screen had been. I was blind now, but I could still see things from Jazz's optics, and Motormaster's.

So I watched distantly as Motormaster pulled a knife from subspace and Jazz pushed off the wall he was leaning against, horrified. I was them in that moment—Motormaster's excitement and Jazz's shock. All I was receiving from my own systems was pain. Motormaster raised the knife…

Then his weight left as Jazz shoved him off of me and knocked the knife from his hand. "Pit! What are you doing!"

"Get off."

"You're going to fragging kill him!"

"Get off!" Motormaster shoved Jazz off of him. He was suddenly terrified of what he'd been about to do—afraid that they'd send him to jail because of it. He ran for the backstage exit.

I curled up on the floor, trembling. I was leaking—I could feel my energon levels dropping. Jazz glanced at me, then turned to follow Motormaster.

He was going to leave me here as well, to leak out on the ground. He took two steps away, then stopped. _I can't just go._ He looked back at me, watching for a moment as energon flowed from the damaged machinery where my faceplate should have been. He took a step back toward me, feeling sick. "Soundwave?" He said "Can ya hear me?" _He's leaking like pit, Primus, oh, Primus, what if he's dying?_

I could barely move.

"Frag it, I have ta get a medic" Jazz said. "Stay right here."

The auditorium door slammed open and Searchlight and Ratchet came in.

"You!" Searchlight sprinted down the stairs. Jazz stared at him, feeling horrible, and didn't move to defend himself as Searchlight knocked him away from me. "What did you do!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't… It was Motormaster." He didn't fight as Searchlight slammed him to the ground and punched him in the faceplate.

Meanwhile, Ratchet came over to me. _Oh, Primus, what do I do? What do I do, he's leaking all over the place…_ He knelt down next to me in the pool of my energon that was spreading across the stage. _His screen's entirely gone, and that is far too much energon... If whatever they did damaged his processor…_

Jazz gasped as Searchlight hit him again.

"Stop it!" Ratchet shrieked. "Both of you stop it!"

Jazz and Searchlight looked up.

"He could be dying and you're just...!" Ratchet said. "Searchlight, go get Ochre! Hurry!"

Searchlight got up and ran.

"Jazz," Ratchet said. "Go get Cablereach!"

"Cablereach?" Jazz sat up, staring blankly at Ratchet.

"Go get him! Go get him right now!" _We need him here so they don't just send Soundwave to the hospital. They'd probably figure out something was different about him at a hospital._

Jazz left.

Ratchet stayed, kneeling over me. "Soundwave?" _What do I do? I have to stop him from losing any more energon somehow. If I can't stop it, he could leak out. Oh, Primus help me, I'm so useless, I don't know what to do. I wish I knew what to do…_

A fresh wave of pain washed over me and my systems started shutting down. I fought unconsciousness, struck with the sudden fear that if I passed out, I wouldn't wake up again.

Ratchet's thoughts were fading in and out. He reached into my helm, trying to figure out where all the energon was coming from so he could stop it. The last thing I saw through Ratchet's optics was the mess of broken glass and crushed machinery where my screen was supposed to be.

And then my processor shorted out.

* * *

I came online slowly, somewhat surprised that I wasn't dead. Ravage, who'd been sitting at the end of my berth, heard my systems booting up, and I quickly turned my screen on so I could see as he leaped up onto my chest.

He was _heavy_ but I didn't care. I put my arms around him as he pressed his faceplate against my screen, purring. _I was so worried, Soundwave, don't ever do that again._

I flinched, and he backed off so I could sit up.

My screen…

It seemed to be working normally, but my helm hurt a little when I sat up, and when I reached up to touch my screen, even the slight pressure of my fingers against it was unpleasant.

"Are you okay?" Ravage asked.

I nodded. "A-are you?"

"I'm fine," Ravage said, then growled. "They caught me in a cage and stuck me in some other room. I didn't know what was happening until Searchlight and that teacher, Cablereach, came and got me. I wish I'd been there so I could have killed those mechs who attacked you."

I was just glad they hadn't hurt him.

We were in Crescent's house, not at the school. I looked around, wondering what had happened. Motormaster had smashed my screen against the corner of that table. I shuddered as I remember the way it had felt when it shattered…

I had passed out at some point. They must have contacted Crescent. I had a new screen, so Crescent must have gotten it replaced. I checked my internal timepiece. Apparently I'd been unconscious for two whole orns.

I got up. I needed to talk to Crescent. I could ask Ravage what had happened, but he wasn't likely to have a good grasp on the situation the way Crescent would. Ravage climbed onto my shoulders. He felt especially heavy because I was still weak, but I didn't complain. I wasn't sure if bringing him with me was wise, though.

"You sho-o-ould stay he-ere," I told him.

"No," he said. _I'm not leaving you. I am_ not.

"I-I-I'm going to ta-alk to Cre-escent," I said. "I-If you co-ome, you have to be-ehave."

"Fine," Ravage said.

I stood and made my way down the stairs and to the front room, where Crescent was sitting. By the time I got there, I was exhausted.

She looked up as I came through the door.

"Oh," she said. _You._ "You're awake. What do you want?" _Ha! You can go back to school now. I can finally get rid of that low-sparked annoyance of a friend you've made. He keeps showing up here._

I looked down.

"Don't just stand there," Crescent said. "You should be thanking me. Do you know how much it cost to replace that screen of yours?" _Not half as much as a new faceplate, but still quite a lot._

I hesitated, then shrugged. "Thank y-you?" I said.

She shook her helm. "And you're lucky I've decided to let you keep going to that school. You told a _lot_ of mecha your secret." _You stupid little glitch. Sometimes I think I should just hand you over to the government and be done with you._ A memory of my femme creator laughing flashed across her processor. She shoved it away.

"A-are you go-oing to blackma-a-ail them?"

Crescent sighed. "I'm not." _Unless they let the secret out or something._ "Your teacher explained to me his plan if you get discovered." _You know, the one where he sends you to Iacon._ "And I approve of it. I asked him to let me know if that happened so I can be prepared, but other than that…" She shook her helm. _It's too late to do anything about the situation without making it worse, so you are just going to keep going to that school and if anything else like this happens, you keep me out of it, do you understand?_

I nodded.

"Okay," she said. "So was that it? Can you frag off and leave me in peace now? You can go back to school." _The medic said he should stay home for at least three orns, but I really don't think that's necessary._

I wasn't sure if I'd make it back to school. Ravage curled his tail around my neck.

_Is he even listening to me?_

"Crescent?"

She glared at me. _What is that tone? He sounds like he's a fragging sparkling again, begging for a pet. If he asks me for something, I hope he knows what the answer is._

"Why _ha-aven't_ y-you thrown me o-out yet?"

"What?"

"Or gi-i-iven me to the go-ove-e-ernment?"

 _I think you know. You're just fishing for more information. Get out of my helm, freak._ "If you're not going to go to school, then at least go to your room," she told me. "And be grateful. And don't ask questions."

I turned and walked away, back toward my room.

 _We were like sisters,_ Crescent thought. _I still miss her. Pit, I need to get out of here._ She got up and left.

There were still things Crescent was hiding from me. I wasn't even entirely sure how, but there were secrets surrounding the accident that had offlined my creators. Something she didn't even want _me_ to know about myself. I didn't have the energy to wonder about it right now, though. I went up to my room to get some recharge. I was exhausted and I wanted to be ready to go back to school the next orn. I lay down and turned my screen off.

* * *

I did go back to the school the next orn, though I waited until classes would already be over. I let Ravage stretch his legs as I walked through the city, to the school. He stayed close to me though—feeling a lingering sense of protectiveness.

When I got to the school, I headed for Searchlight's room. I had picked up from Crescent's processor that he kept stopping by to try and visit me. Of course, she'd never let him in, and eventually she'd told her servants not to open the door at all when he showed up.

He looked up when the door to his room opened and I came in. "Soundwave!"

Ravage leaped up to Ratchet's desk.

Searchlight put the datapad he'd been looking at down on his desk. "How are you feeling?" _Are you okay? You look okay, but oh, Primus, I'm so sorry…_

"I'm oka-ay," I said.

"You sure?" Searchlight said. _That was my fault._

"I'm fine," I said. "Wha-a-at… Wha-at di-id you do a-after I…"

"Passed out?" Searchlight said.

I nodded.

 _His caretaker didn't tell him what happened? Well, I guess that doesn't surprise me._ "Mech, you terrified us. Ochre didn't really know what to do, since she hasn't worked with mods like your screen before. Fortunately, Cablereach contacted your caretaker and she got your private medic on the comm."

"What?" I said. "Ca-ablereach did…"

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "I know you didn't want your caretaker to know we knew, but it was worth it, cuz that medic got here fast. Your caretaker was surprisingly cooperative, though Ravage was right—she's a glitch. Also, Ratchet totally saved your life. He managed to pretty much stop the flow of energon by the time Ochre and I got there. You know, I made fun of him for reading a medical manual, and now I feel bad about that. He's really broken up about not being able to do more, though. You're going to need to talk to him and prove you're all right." _This is my fault._ "Soundwave, I'm really sorry for what happened."

I shook my helm.

"No, really, it _really_ is my fault. I told you I'd try to keep my helm down this term and I didn't even try. I'm the one Verdict should have asked them to get revenge on, because I'm the one who was causing trouble. I didn't even think they might go after you, and I… I'm really sorry you didn't trust me enough to tell me before you walked right into their trap."

I shook my helm again.

"Stop," Searchlight said. "Mech, just let me apologize."

"Se-earchlight," I said. "It's o-okay."

"It's not okay," Searchlight said. "I put you all in danger when I was the one who was doing stupid things." _This is serious, 'Wave._ "I promise I won't let something like this happen again."

I sighed. He'd probably forget that promise before the decaorn was out.

"And I am so, so sorry." _Please forgive me._

"Of co-ourse."

"Thanks, mech," Searchlight looked down, but he was smiling.

"So…" I said. He'd stopped thinking about the story, and I needed to know the rest of it.

"Right," Searchlight said. "So… your caretaker called your medic and showed up with him. He seemed to know what he was doing. They took you to his clinic, out in the city. Meanwhile, Cablereach invited your caretaker and Ratchet and I to go to his office and talk. For a while she insisted she didn't know you could read minds, but then she broke down and admitted it, and then threatened all of us with some pretty serious things if we told anyone else. She doesn't know that Breeze knows, but… yeah. They caught Motormaster. He's not old enough to go to jail, but I heard Cablereach mention something about a detention center for fledglings. So that's where he's going on charges of attempted murder. Jazz has been expelled, obviously. He just barely avoided joining Motormaster in fledgling jail, but he was really cooperative and seemed honestly sorry. I guess he wasn't quite as much of a glitch as the other two or something. Still a glitch, though. He just stood there and watched until it was almost too late. Since Verdict was already gone, _he_ got off without any further consequences, even though he was _definitely_ involved. But you know," Searchlight scowled. _I can't believe he had the last say in this._

"It do-oesn't matter," I said.

He deflated a little. "I guess that's true… and I'm just glad you're all right. I tried to go visit you, but your caretaker wouldn't let me in. I don't think she likes me very much."

Well, that was a pretty safe assumption.

"And I think that brings us to the present," Searchlight said.

We were quiet for a few moments.

"Where's Ratchet?" Ravage asked.

"Library or something," Searchlight said. "I don't know. And Breeze has a group project she's working on. But they should both turn up eventually." He looked at my screen. _I'm glad the medic was able to get him a new screen… he really doesn't have a faceplate behind it at all…_

I shrugged, uncomfortable. I wished he'd stop thinking about what had happened. It was like some horrible nightmare, but it was over, and I was fine, so it didn't really matter.

Ratchet showed up a few breems later, and Ravage jumped on him, of course, but then quickly returned to me and climbed up on my shoulders. Searchlight moved to his berth so I could take his chair, and Ratchet could have his own desk back.

Ratchet glared at Ravage, then studied my screen. _Looks like they replaced that screen. Good_. "Well, you're back, finally," he said. _No thanks to me._

I shook my helm slightly. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say to him. According to Searchlight, he had saved my life. "Thank y-you."

Ratchet huffed. "Are you all right? Does your screen work the same way it did before? I did some research about mods like that, and it must have been somewhat difficult to replace."

"It looks just like it did before," Searchlight said. "He's fine."

"I should have been able to do more."

"You're not a medic," Searchlight said. "You can't do _everything,_ Ratchet." _I've been having this argument with him since you were hurt. He thinks he's some sort of failure._

 _I hated that feeling, of not knowing what to do—not knowing how to help..._ Ratchet turned around in his desk and started working on his homework. He had it almost finished by the time Breeze showed up.

"Soundwave!" she said when she came in. "Oh, Primus, are you all right?"

I nodded.

"I can't believe they'd do something like that. I mean, I didn't think they were _that.._. I don't know, messed up."

I was just lucky that Jazz had stopped Motormaster before that knife had fallen. I might _actually_ have died. That was a scary thought.

"In any case, it's great to have you back," Breeze said, and sat down on Searchlight's berth next to him, feeling rather bold because of it, but also hoping he didn't think it was weird. When he didn't react, she turned her attention back to me. _Are you okay, like psychologically? That probably had to be traumatizing._

"I'm fine," I said flatly.

"Okay," Breeze said. "I'm glad." _Of course he'd say he's fine either way..._

No one talked for a breem. They were happy to have me back and relieved that I was better, but no one could think of any more ways to put that to words. So we all just stared at each other.

 _I don't know what to say... I wonder if this is how Soundwave feels all the time,_ Breeze thought. _Awkward silence…_

"So," I said at length. "Wha-at now?"

"Well," Searchlight said, "Verdict is gone and Motormaster and Jazz too. And your caretaker knows that we know. And, well… I don't know." He looked at Breeze, and she shrugged, systems heating up. Someone needed to tell her that Searchlight just thought of her as a friend and was entirely oblivious to the way she felt about him. Maybe then she'd relax a little. Or maybe it would just make her really mopey. I didn't know.

Searchlight looked away from Breeze again and smiled. "Well," he said. "I'm sure something interesting will turn up. It'll be fun, or at least it won't be boring."

I looked around the room from Ratchet to Breeze to Searchlight.

That seemed like a pretty safe prediction.


	27. Normal Life

"So, what should we do next term?" _We have to have a class together. It'll be fun. Maybe, like a circuit-su class or something._

"I don't know." Breeze shrugged. "What do you mean? Like school?"

Yes, Breeze. We should probably do school.

"I mean a class _in_ school. Like we all took geology together this term, what should we do _next_ term?"

"I'm not going to be here next term," Thundercracker crossed his arms. "But I vote not geology. Another term of that and Searchlight will get you all offlined for sure."

It was almost the end of the term. The rest of it had passed in relative peace, only occasionally broken up by trouble due to Searchlight's famously bad ideas, and a few mishaps involving Wheeljack and science projects. But there was no escaping Wheeljack's explosions _or_ Searchlight's bad ideas, so all things considered, everything had gone well.

"How about self-defense?" Searchlight suggested.

 _Like fighting? No thanks… Well… I guess if he wants to…_ Breeze thought.

"No." Ratchet said.

"Oh, that's a _lot_ less dangerous than geology," Thundercracker deadpanned.

It was really nice to have someone to say the things I would say if talking were easier.

"What do you think, 'Wave?" Searchlight looked at me. _Back me up on this one. Please…_

I shrugged.

"Come on," Searchlight said.

"I do-on't care."

"See, Soundwave agrees with me."

"No," Ratchet said again. "I will not take a self-defense class. I don't want to die."

"But you'll be less likely to die if you learn how to defend yourself," Searchlight said. "Imagine like Motormaster comes back and starts picking on you and then BAM! You go all cyberninja on him."

Ratchet shot Searchlight a withering glare.

Breeze choked on a laugh, imagining the scene Searchlight had described.

 _Remind me why I hang out with these idiots again,_ Thundercracker thought.

"Never mind," Searchlight said. "You could offline him just by looking at him."

Breeze laughed again.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Searchlight said.

"Absolutely not. If we're going to do a class together, I insist it be something practical."

"What's more practical than this? And we are _not_ doing another science class."

"Well, then you can do your group class thing without me!"

 _And then they're going to argue about it for half a joor,_ Breeze frowned.

"The point of taking a class together is taking a class together," Searchlight said. "You can't opt out."

 _Oh, I remember,_ Thundercracker thought. _This is kind of amusing._

"If you're going to pick a stupid class, then I'm not participating."

"Self-defense is not…"

"Fighting is stupid!" Ratchet said. "Can you imagine how much MORE trouble you would have gotten into if you'd known how to fight Verdict and his friends?"

"Hey, mechs," Breeze said.

"Are you slagging kidding me? We would have gotten rid of them…"

"This is pointless." Breeze said. "Really, _stop!_ "

Searchlight deflated. _He's wrong. If I could fight, Soundwave wouldn't have almost been killed. I could have stopped it._

Actually, if I remembered correctly, the circumstances were such that that wouldn't have done us much good.

"The fact remains I won't take a fighting class," Ratchet said. "You can take one if you like. I won't."

"Fine, I will. I want to be able to protect myself." _And Ratchet. And you, 'Wave, and Breeze, and all of you._ "Anyone want to join me?"

"Sure," I said, though in honesty, I was leaning toward Ratchet's side of the argument.

"Anyone else?"

Breeze looked down. She wanted to say yes, but she really didn't want to be in the class. "I guess," she said.

"Awesome! You're going to be the only one left out, Ratchet. Are you sure you don't want to join us? The mech who teaches it is supposedly really awesome."

I had heard that too.

"No," Ratchet said. _Now I've said no I have to stick to it._

Searchlight looked at me. _Think he'll crack?_

Probably. I shrugged, then nodded slightly.

Ratchet glared at me. _I hope that nod was to signify that I'm serious about this. Because the answer is NO._

Searchlight would talk him into it. Give it a few orns.

* * *

It took five orns before Ratchet caved. Of course, he'd probably change his mind over the break and need to be talked back into it again. As the term came to a close, we all started to feel like an era was ending. I was looking forward to the break. I was already planning on spending it at Searchlight's house again. Maybe we could get Ratchet and Breeze to come too for a while and take them camping. That probably wouldn't end well, but we'd have Cam with us this time, so I was pretty sure we'd survive.

The second-to-last orn, after classes, we gathered in Searchlight's room as usual. Thundercracker took up his perch on Searchlight's desk, while Ravage curled up under Ratchet's chair and took a nap. Breeze and Searchlight sat on Searchlight's berth, and Ratchet, bereft of any homework to do, sat facing away from us, dreading going home to his creators because he was going to have to tell them he wanted to change his emphasis to medicine instead of politics.

"Hey," Searchlight said. "I want to talk to everyone. Ratchet, turn around."

Ratchet almost refused, but then he sighed and got out of his chair. He made a big show of picking it up, turning it around, and setting it down again. Ravage opened one optic and looked at him.

_If he puts the chair down on top of me…_

"All right," Ratchet said. "What do you want?"

Searchlight raised an optic ridge. "Calm down, would you? I just thought since we were losing Thundercracker and since I won't see you mecha for a while, we could, you know, talk instead of all just sitting here facing away from each other."

So now we could sit facing each other in awkward silence.

"So…" Breeze said. "What should we talk about?"

"Well," Searchlight said. _I'm going to miss these mecha._ "Guess I just… I don't know."

Thundercracker huffed a sigh. "Fine. It's been a pleasure knowing you all. You're all fragging insane except for Soundwave, and maybe Breeze." He looked at Breeze for a moment. _Nope, she's crazy too._ "But it's been nice." _Nice to have mecha who don't treat me different because I'm a seeker, and who put up with me when I'm being arrogant and standoffish._

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "You too. It'll be weird next term without you."

"I'm sure you can replace me with some other pathetic loser."

"Don't say that about yourself." Breeze frowned.

"I wasn't saying it about myself," Thundercracker said. "I'm just… never mind." _They're all pathetic losers. I just happen to like them better than the other pathetic losers around here._

Breeze shook her helm and decided to change the subject. "So will you write us?"

"No."

Breeze was hurt.

_I can't write them. I have to pretend I'm coming home with sufficient hatred toward ground-pounders in my spark._

_I don't care if he tries to push us away._ "Well,” Breeze said. “I'll write _you_ and let you know how we're doing."

"Please don't."

"Oh," Searchlight grinned. "Rejected! You can write me if you want, Breeze."

Breeze's vents heated up.

"I have to study for finals," Ratchet said. "So if we're done with this discussion…"

"Come on, you only have one final left."

"I should actually go," Thundercracker said. "I still haven't packed, I realized." _I'm kind of going to miss them…_

"Okay," Searchlight said. "See you, mech."

Thundercracker nodded, slid off the desk, and walked to the door. "Probably not," he said. "But it's been… slightly less terrible than I thought it would be to know you." _Being here, away from my creators and everyone else. Not that I had many friends before._

He left.

"I don't think he means any of those rude things he says," Breeze crossed her arms.

He did mean some of it. I didn't bother to correct her, though.

Ravage stretched, yawned, and came over to sit on my shoulders instead.

It was a good orn. I didn't have much of a processor ache, and I had friends, and Ravage, and I didn't have to spend the break at Crescent's house.

I wished this could last forever. I wished I could just keep everything right here, right where it was. Right now, everything was perfect.

* * *

I followed Searchlight through the door of the little apartment he and his creators lived in. Keepsake ran to meet us and pulled Searchlight into a tight embrace.

"Searchlight! We missed you so much," she said, then held him out at arms length and studied him. _I still sometimes wonder about sending him away for school, but it's so good for him._ She let him go and turned her attention to me. "And Soundwave, it's wonderful to see you." She let Searchlight go and hugged me too. "I do hope you're really planning on staying the whole break, because the twins will be very disappointed if you're not."

As if on cue, Rumble and Frenzy came around the corner. Ravage jumped off of my shoulders and darted toward them, but Frenzy dodged him and sprinted over to me.

"Soundwave!" he said. _I thought you were never coming back. Keepsake kept saying you were, but it was taking so long…_

"Get off, I'm trying to… hey!"

Ravage grabbed Rumble and dragged him over to me, before happily depositing him on the ground.

"I was coming over here anyway, you great big rusty idiot."

"Rumble," Keepsake said.

He sighed. "Sorry."

"Why didn't you come to visit us?" Frenzy demanded.

"I'm so-orry," I said.

"He was busy with school," Keepsake said. "Don't make him feel bad, Frenzy, we've talked about this… well, I have to get to work. I just stayed so I could be here when you two got home. You know where everything is. If you go to the park or something, just be sure to leave us a note, all right?"

"Okay," Searchlight said.

"Oh, and one more thing," Keepsake said. "You'll need to move back into your room. We were keeping Rumble and Frenzy there."

"What!"

"But your things are in the closet, don't worry," Keepsake said. “It might be a bit of a mess in there all the same."

Searchlight sighed.

_Well, the other option was to keep them in the closet or our room all orn. They're much less destructive than they used to be, but we can't have them running around the house while we're gone._

"I'll see you when I get home," Keepsake said. "Unless you decide to swing by the shelter."

She left.

Searchlight stuck his helm in his room to see how bad the mess was, and decided he'd deal with it later. _I just got back from school, I need a break from doing things. Let's watch a holovid or something._

I personally wanted to go to the symbiont shelter, but I figured we'd be doing that a lot over the break, and for now Ravage and the twins were content to roughhouse in the front hallway, so I wouldn't mind staying here.

Searchlight came back into the front room and turned on the holovid screen in the wall. I looked around the room. It was so much smaller and older than Crescent's house. That was just one of the many reasons I liked it here.

"What?" Searchlight said. _You're just standing there._

I shrugged.

_Everything all right?_

I nodded.

"Good to be home, isn't it?"

Yes. It was.

* * *

The break was good. We spent a lot of time at the park and at the symbiont shelter. Cam got a few orns off work, and took us camping. We invited Breeze and Ratchet to come. Ratchet did, but Breeze's creators wouldn't let her come all the way to Iacon to go camping with friends they'd never met. It seemed pretty reasonable to me, but it was still kind of sad.

No one got hurt on the camping trip, though Cam did let us do some pretty dangerous things he made us promise never to tell Keepsake about. Honestly, he wasn't that much better than Searchlight.

Ratchet went back home afterward, leaving us with the symbionts. It was kind of nice. I would have liked to spend most of the time at the shelter, but Searchlight wanted to be outside.

It almost got to the point of arguing, but since I always knew when he had reached his limit of boredom and it was time to go do something different, things worked out. We did a lot of wandering around the sector.

We wanted to get as much laziness as possible in before school started back up again. At the same time, Searchlight couldn't wait for the term to start. He seemed to have it in his processor that we'd all get really good at fighting and be this unstoppable team of some sort.

I really wasn't sure what he thought we were going to _do_ with our cyberninja fighting skills, and I didn't want to ask because then he'd start thinking about it and probably come up with an idea or two.

The last orn before the new term, we went to the symbiont shelter.

Searchlight waved to Lakes as we walked in.

"Hey," Lakes said. "Aren't you two supposed to be back in school by now?"

"Nah," Searchlight said. "Not yet."

"When does the term start?"

"Next orn."

"Next orn?" He looked at me. _Doesn't Soundwave's caretaker want to at least spend an orn with him?_ "When are you going then?"

"Early next orn."

"Shouldn't you be spending time with Keepsake and Cam?"

I walked over to the cages.

 _Why would we spend time with them?_ "We've been spending time with them all break. Besides, they'll be here pretty soon."

"Time flies, and you won't see them much as an adult."

"That is like a million vorns away."

In reality, it would only be one. Four more terms of school and we'd be adults. That was so strange.

Lakes looked at me. _What about him? Should I ask about his caretaker?_

He could if he wanted, and Searchlight would give his normal spiel about how Crescent was a glitch. No need for that. I probably should at least stop in and let her know I was still online. She might get mad if I didn't. But she didn't want to actually spend time with me, that was for certain.

"Are you leaving?" A little cat symbiont asked from her cage.

Ravage, who was sitting on my shoulders, answered for me. "Yes. This is the last time we'll be here."

"Aww!"

"No!" another symbiont said.

"You should stay!"

"Lakes, he can stay, can't he?"

"Can he work for you?"

"Yeah!"

Lakes smiled. _If only. This place is almost sane when that fledgling is here._ "No. Soundwave has to go to school. He's still got lots of things to learn."

"I think he knows enough!"

 _Yeah,_ Ravage thought. _Why_ do _you have to go to school? We could work here. This sort of stuff isn't what they're teaching you in school. And isn't this what you like to do? Why can't you do it now?_

I pondered on that, so I'd be able to answer him when we were alone, but I really couldn't come up with a good answer. Why _did_ I need to go to school? I wasn't going to be going on to any sort of higher education when this was over. By then, my range would be far too large. I didn't know if I'd go insane exactly, but I certainly wouldn't want to be on a crowded academy campus.

"Nah, he doesn't want to be a symbiont shelter lackey. I bet he's going to grow up to be a symbiont trainer or a medic. He'd be good at that."

Not a medic. Definitely not, though I knew I'd be good at it. Maybe a trainer. But really, I'd love to work here. Maybe I could drop out early and apply. That would be a good life—or at least a tolerable one. Maybe I could drop out now, and then apply here as soon as I was an adult.

I was certainly not looking forward to going back to all the tests and classes and so many other mecha.

 _We should do something awesome this orn,_ Searchlight thought. _What would be good?_

I looked at him. I wanted to stay here.

He noticed. _I know, 'Wave. You want to say goodbye to everyone… hey, we can bring them with us and play tag out in the empty lot or something._

Hmm…

"Hey, Lakes, maybe since it's our last orn here…" Searchlight said.

 _Oh, here we go._ Lakes thought. "No."

"You didn't hear what I was going to say."

"I don't think I need to."

"Oh, come on."

"All right, let's hear it."

"So, since it's our last orn, if everyone promises to be good, can we take them all out for a walk?"

 _Oh, is that all?_ "Uh, okay. I thought you were going to suggest something stupid like running the place for yourselves this orn or setting it on fire or something."

"Setting it on fire?" _How dumb does he think I am? I would never do something like that._

Oh really.

"You'd better go for short walks, though if you want to take everyone."

"No," Searchlight shook his helm. "I mean everyone all at once."

 _Oh. Primus beneath, no. Absolutely not._ "That's another story."

"Come on," Searchlight said. "Please? It'll be fine. You already said yes, you can't change your mind…"

Lakes raised an optic ridge. "I do not have enough leashes, and even if I did, you'd get all tangled up and I do not trust all of these symbionts out there and some of them fly and could easily get away if they want to."

"So we'll just leash the flying ones and make sure the rest understand that they have to behave."

The symbionts were catching on now. They liked this idea even more than Searchlight did.

"Please!"

"We want to go! We'll be good, we promise!"

"And there's only two of you," Lakes said.

"Three, counting Ravage. And we don't have the twins, they're home with Keepsake and Cam."

"You can take _some_ of them."

"Then everyone else will feel left out. What if… there's this old warehouse where we could take them and just let them go a little…"

"And kill each other."

"Okay, we wouldn't take _all_ of them, just the ones who behave themselves."

"What! No fair!" A wolf symbiont growled.

"You can take ten."

"Twenty," Searchlight said. "Ten for each of us."

Lakes sighed. "Fine." _Better than all of them I guess._ "Do you think you can handle that many, Soundwave?"

I hesitated. I would depend on which 20.

"Pick me! Pick me!"

_I'll never get picked._

_I want to go._

This didn't feel right.

"How abo-out…" I said.

Everyone quieted down so I could speak. That was another thing I liked about this place. "We-e could take twe-enty a-at a time."

"And get all of them at some point," Searchlight finished my thought for me.

"Okay," Lakes said hesitantly. "That sounds all right." _That'll be a lot of work. And this could go very wrong…_

Searchlight thought about it. _Not as fun. And that might get a little old by the last time. But hey, I guess it's better than being in here. Can I pick?_

"I'll pick," I said firmly. I had to put good groups together so no one offlined anyone else, or got together and tried to escape. I knew some of them were already planning that second one.

They went back to calling out for me to pick them. I thought a little while, trying to put them into groups of twenty in my processor. Ravage actually helped a lot—he had a good feel for who would be bad to put together.

We eventually got a group and took them out to the spare lot. Searchlight organized a game of tag and we all had fun for a joor, then rounded them up to go back in. Rounding them up actually took almost as long as playing except for the flying ones, who were still on leashes. We realized pretty quickly that Searchlight would just have to catch them all and leash them to take them back. That might have been difficult without Ravage.

By the time we had the last group out, we were exhausted and just stood and watched them play. Then, halfway through the last game, one of the birds started pecking at its leash, realizing that—though he had promised to be good—that sky was just too tempting.

I dashed toward him, but he was clever and seemed to know what he was doing, and I hadn't realized until too late.

He pecked his way off the leash and took off.

Searchlight saw him fly away. _Oh, pit._

The worst part was that because I'd been running toward him, all the others had seen, and quite a few of them took it as a sign. A good half of them started running for it.

Searchlight was pretty quick on his pedes. He grabbed the leashes and we started rounding them up. Some few were behaving, but I had made the mistake of bringing the rowdiest crowd out last, and some of them could take the leashes off of each other. We would have to start taking them back a few at a time, as we rounded them up. One or two got out of my range, though Ravage effectively herded the rest while Searchlight took a group of six inside.

When Searchlight came back, he brought Lakes with him.

Lakes was silent, but even Searchlight could tell he was _not_ happy with us.

"We'll get them," Searchlight said. "How many got away?"

I slipped a leash on another. "Three."

"That's nothing," Searchlight said. "We'll find them."

"You had better," Lakes said. "If you don't have them back by the end of the orn, I have to report them as escaped and the shelter will be inspected and evaluated."

Searchlight looked down.

"Well?" Lakes said.

"Sorry. I guess this is my fault."

"Both of you," Lakes looked at me. "Both of you know better than to let them run loose and play tag."

"Don't worry," Searchlight said. "We'll find them." _I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't think we could find a couple of runaways._

Lakes took the leashed symbionts in. _I really am too much of a pushover. I know what Searchlight's like… I hope they find the missing ones. The last thing we need is to have to explain this to Tirelink._

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Where did they go?"

I pointed in two different directions.

"Right," Searchlight said. "Ravage and I will go after one, and you can find the other."

I nodded and headed after the slower one. I figured he'd come back into my range fairly soon, since I was pretty sure he'd just hide somewhere.

Sure enough, he came into my range after a few breems. I got down and pulled out an energon treat from subspace.

"I kno-ow you're there," I said quietly, kneeling by the gutter, ignoring the questioning, curious thoughts of the other mecha on the street. "I ha-ave a treat for y-y-you."

 _How does he know I'm here? …that smells good. But he'll just take me back to the shelter._ "I don't want to go back!"

"Why-y not?" I asked. "Here, I-I'll give you two-o." I pulled another one out of subspace.

He crept closer to the street.

Come on.

_Maybe if I'm fast enough I can grab them._

Just keep thinking that.

He darted out and I grabbed him.

"Hey!"

He knew he wasn't supposed to run away. He really shouldn't complain to me about anything.

I gave him the treats as I carried him back to the shelter. Searchlight and Ravage were there with the second one.

Now all we needed was the flying symbiont. That one might be more difficult.

"We beat you," Searchlight said.

I shrugged and set the little symbiont on the table for Lakes to take.

"Thank you," Lakes said. "Now go find that other one if you can."

"Will do," Searchlight said. "Come on, 'Wave."

Ravage jumped up on my shoulders, purring, and the three of us set off.

 _This'll be fun,_ Searchlight thought.

Two joors later with no luck, he wasn't singing the same tune.

"Are you sure he wouldn't have left the sector? I think we've looked everywhere."

I was pretty sure. And Ravage had smelled him once or twice. But it was getting late. We couldn't stay out that much longer.

"This is ridiculous," Searchlight said. “We've wasted our last orn of freedom.”

Well, it had been his idea.

Ravage, who was walking just ahead of us, suddenly caught a whiff of the bird. He took off and we hurried to catch up. We almost lost him, because he went out of my range, but we found him again, sitting by a tall building, looking up at the far-distant silhouette of a flying symbiont who was perched on the edge of the roof.

Searchlight shaded his optics and looked up. "Is that him?"

"Yes."

 _I suppose we'll have to climb or something._ Searchlight imagined being up at the top of the building with the wind rushing past him.

Nope. Bad idea. I pulled out another treat—I only had three more. We needed to get the bird's attention.

 _But I don't see any way to get up there, really._ "Ravage, do you think you could…"

"No," I said. Ravage would _not_ be climbing any buildings.

I stared up, trying to figure out what to do. If I expanded my range out that far, it would take all off-cycle for it to shrink back down, and I didn't want to do that if I didn't have to. But I felt blind when I couldn't hear the bird's thoughts.

"Come on," Searchlight said. _Let's see if we can get to the roof from inside._

It was a big apartment complex. We could probably get in and go up an elevator or something. I followed Searchlight around the building, to the front.

The door flashed a message at us when we reached it, asking us if we were visiting someone or wanting to apply for a room, or if we had another purpose.

"Uh… visiting," Searchlight said.

[Welcome] the door flashed, then a warning underneath. [No symbionts allowed]

Searchlight looked down at Ravage. _Well, we can't just leave him here, can we? I guess we have to._ "Rav, you have to stay here. We'll be back in a breem."

"What!" Ravage said.

"It says no symbionts," Searchlight pointed at the door.

Ravage scowled. "Too bad. I'm coming."

"No," I said. I didn't want to get into trouble.

Ravage deflated. "Okay. But come back soon."

Of course.

"Soon as we catch that bird thing," Searchlight said. "Come on."

The door opened for us and we found the elevator and headed up, leaving Ravage sitting in front of the building, feeling abandoned.

"So, you ready for school?" Searchlight asked.

"No."

"Me either. I mean, breaks can get a little boring too, and I'm excited for the fighting class…"

"I know."

"It's going to be awesome."

I shook my helm.

"What, you don't think so?"

I shrugged.

He looked away. _I feel like I'm the only one who actually wants to do it. But they'll see. It'll be a lot better than geology. You'll see, 'Wave._

Okay.

We got to the top of the elevator and it opened out into a hallway.

_Now we just need to find the way up to the roof._

I nodded.

_There might be an access code or something. The best way to get that would be to ask somemech and you could listen to their thoughts._

That was dishonest. I shook my helm.

"Come on, mech, it's not a big deal." He walked to the nearest door. _You think the mech in this one is nice enough to tell us?_

I listened for a few astroseconds to her thoughts, then nodded.

He pressed the entry request button.

Half a breem later, the door opened.

"Hi!" the femme said. "Uh… can I help you?"

"We lost our bird and it's up on the roof," Searchlight said. "Do you know how to get up there?"

"Uh…" _Poor younglings…_ "I don't know if it's safe for you to go up on the roof. You can go ask the landlord to help you. I'm sure he will." _They need to know the code to get up there anyway._ The code ran through her processor too.

"Okay, we'll do that. Thanks!" Searchlight said.

She closed the door. _I think they have a no symbionts policy. Do they know that? How long have they lived here? I haven't seen them before._

 _Okay,_ Searchlight thought. _Where is the roof access?_

I walked toward it and he followed me. I had the code now. If we weren't in a hurry to go back to Ravage, I might just insist that we ask the landlord for help. But the time that would take, added to the time it would take to get this landlord to actually help us… if we didn't hurry, the bird could fly off. Better to just do it this way, even though I didn't feel exactly right about it.

We got to the stairs that led up to the roof. At the top, there was a closed door. I put in the code and it opened, and we stepped out onto the top of the building.

The bird was on the other end, but saw us. I quickly pulled the treat from subspace and held it out while motioning for Searchlight not to move.

If the symbiont took off, we would be back where we started.

"Come on," Searchlight said. "We've got a treat for you."

The bird cocked his helm to the side and I expanded my range so it was covering him.

_…I think they'll just grab me and bring me back to the shelter._

He did fly a little closer, though.

"That's it," Searchlight said.

"You just want to trap me," the bird said.

"No. We want to give you a treat and take you back home. You missed getting energon, aren't you hungry?"

"I don't want to go back."

"If the enforcers catch you out here and they find out you're an escaped shelter symbiont, you'll be in trouble."

He ruffled his metal plating. "They won't catch me."

"Or some hunter might shoot you down," Searchlight said. "If you go back home with us, you'll be safe."

"Two treats," the bird said.

Searchlight looked at me. I nodded.

 _Okay, but I'm going to work it so we don't have to take him through the building._ "One now, and you can have another one down at the base of the building. And then I'll make sure you get a _third_ one when we get back to the shelter. Deal?"

The bird nodded.

I tossed him the treat, then we went back inside and down the elevator again.

The bird was true to his word. He flew down and stayed on my shoulder all the way back to the shelter, which made Searchlight jealous because _he_ wanted symbionts to sit on his shoulders. Ravage was upset too, because that was _his_ spot.

I almost suggested that Ravage sit on Searchlight's shoulders, which would solve both of their problems. But that would require talking, and besides, the whole thing was kind of amusing.

By the time we got back, it was already past time for the shelter to be closed for the off-cycle. Lakes was waiting outside when we got there. He was very relieved to see us and the bird back.

"You can't get mad at him," Searchlight said. "I promised him."

Lakes took in a deep vent, then let it out. _I can't get mad at_ you _either, you slagging troublemaker._ "Okay, come in."

The bird almost decided to fly away again, but missed the opportunity, and then gave up on it. Searchlight grabbed a treat from the drawer they were kept in and gave it to him before he flew back into his cage.

Ravage leaped up onto my shoulders and curled around me, feeling grouchy and protective. I reached up and rubbed the plating behind his ears to cheer him up a little.

_Don't ever replace me._

He shouldn't be worried. There was no replacing Ravage.

Searchlight and I took a transport back to his creators' house because it was too late to walk. Keepsake welcomed us in and brought us over to the table for energon.

"So, did you find that last symbiont?" Cam asked mildly. _He'd better have._

"Uh… yes," Searchlight said. "Actually, we did, and we got him back to the shelter, and everything's fine."

Cam shook his helm. "That must have been a fun way to spend your last orn of the break."

Searchlight shrugged. "Hey, it could be worse."

"Yeah," I said. "He-e almost wanted to-o-o climb a bui-ilding."

Searchlight shot me a look. _Dirty snitch._

"Oh," the corner of Cams lip plates turned up. "Really."

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "But there were no handholds, so it wouldn't have worked."

"Searchlight," Keepsake put a cube of energon in front of him and another in front of me. "You would climb anything. You need to learn to be careful."

"That's why I want a flying altmode," Searchlight said. "Because then I won't need to climb, and it won't be as dangerous. I love heights."

Keepsake and Cam looked at each other.

 _"He'll change his mind by then,"_ Cam sent her a private comm.

 _"Have you_ met _your sparkling?"_

_"He won't be able to travel normally if he does that, and he knows it."_

_"But he doesn't think about that."_

Searchlight downed his energon. "Where are Rumble and Frenzy?"

"Recharging," Keepsake said. "I took them to the park before work and suggested they race each other for a while. It wore them out pretty well." _Sweet little things. All civilized… well, not really. I'm getting really good at handling them, though._

I was going to miss them a lot. I'd have to wake them up and say goodbye before we left the next orn.

"And on that subject," Keepsake said. "You two have to get up early next orn, so you can't stay up."

Searchlight looked at her pleadingly.

"No," she said. "I want you rested. Next orn's going to be a long one."

"Fine," Searchlight sighed.

 _He's probably scheming up a way to stay up now,_ Cam thought, then commed Keepsake again. _"How did we even get this sparkling?"_

Keepsake smiled. _"I don't' know. He reminds me of someone..."_

Cam shook his helm. _"I was not that bad when I was a fledgling."_

_"I'm just glad he's found a good friend."_

"But can we at least watch one holovid? A short one?" Searchlight asked.

"Okay," Keepsake said. "Just one."

 _And it begins,_ Cam thought. _He'll be up all night. Those fledglings… I'm going to miss them this term._

And I would miss Keepsake and Cam and Rumble and Frenzy. But they would always be here for me if I ever needed them. And some orn, some orn I'd tell Searchlight's creators my secret. Not now, though. After secondary school, when we were adults, maybe. Some orn.


	28. Meditation

"Wake up!" Rumble shoved his brother, nearly pushing him off of the counter.

"Be gentle," I said, and scooted him back a little so he wouldn't fall. He _was_ waking up, just slowly.

 _What? What's going on?_ "Why?" he moaned as his optics came online. "Rumble, I was recharging."

"Soundwave's going," Rumble said. "Get up and say goodbye." _I don't want you to go._

I knew he didn’t, but I had to go to school and more school forever. Until I went insane.

"No!" Frenzy was suddenly wide awake. "Going where?"

"School, you…" he glanced in my direction, somehow sensing my disapproval. "Oh, just wake up already and remember."

"Is that _this_ orn?" Frenzy said.

I nodded.

He grabbed my hand and hugged it to him. "I'll miss you!"

Okay, Frenzy.

Then he let go, laid back down, and slipped into recharge again.

Rumble shook his helm in disgust. "Doesn't even care."

"He do-oes."

"He's going to come online later and be so upset. I'll never hear the end of the whining." _Thanks a lot, Soundwave._

I shook my helm. "I'll see-ee you."

Rumble crossed his arms. _It's not fair that you have to go to school._

There wasn't anything I could do about it. I just had to try to push through to the end. I left him and followed Searchlight out the front door, past Keepsake who insisted on a hug and Cam who put a hand on my shoulder.

"Take care of yourself," he said. "And don't let this hooligan get into too much trouble, okay?"

"I-I'll try."

"Knew I could count on you," Cam said. _This good little mech…_ "And one more thing. Just just to make sure you know. This is your home. You can come here any time."

I nodded. "Tha-a-anks."

This was it. Back to the crowds and the tests. But I'd have Searchlight with me and Breeze and Ratchet and Ravage and Cablereach—a wealth of other mecha and friends I'd never thought I'd have—so maybe, just maybe, it would be all right.

And I could always come back here if necessary.

I followed Searchlight down the street.

* * *

The assembly hall was full of chattering younglings and fledglings. Several of them saw Searchlight and waved to him, and he waved back, but he was really looking for Breeze and Ratchet. When he finally saw them, he started pushing his way through the crowd. I followed, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed. Nothing new there.

Ratchet and Breeze had saved us a spot in the back corner.

"Hi!" Breeze hugged me, then Searchlight. "How was the break?'

"Pretty boring," Searchlight said. "But not too bad. I'm super excited for school."

Breeze raised an optic ridge. _Never heard that one from you before._

"I know," Ratchet said. "School is so much better than sitting around and doing nothing." _And maybe Searchlight will actually learn something this term now he doesn't have bullies to fight._

"What makes school so exciting all of a sudden?" Breeze asked, frowning in a contemplative sort of way.

"What do you think? Third joor. Check your schedule."

"Oh," Breeze said. _Circuit-su. Hooray._ She looked at me. _Why did we all let him talk us into this?_

I shrugged.

"It's going to be awesome," Searchlight said.

Breeze forced a smile. "Sure."

"So, what kept the two of you?" Ratchet asked. "You were almost late."

"Ravage," Searchlight said. "We had to take him to Soundwave's room.

I nodded.

We certainly couldn't bring him in here.

"How's he doing?" Breeze asked.

"Good," Searchlight said. "Big and scary as ever. He can't wait to see you again, Ratchet."

Ratchet mentally went through a list of items he had in subspace that he could possibly throw at Searchlight, but couldn't come up with anything he was willing to risk breaking.

So he settled for a dirty look.

The headmaster and the teachers came in and everyone started taking their seats so that the meeting could start. They let me sit at the very corner so I'd have as few mecha in my processor as possible.

Friends were great.

After the assembly, and the little orientation meeting for fifth terms that we went to, we all split up into classes. I didn't see Searchlight or the others again until third joor.

* * *

We met in a big, empty circular room. It looked like the instructor wasn't there yet, but he was actually hiding behind the door to his office, watching all of us, thinking.

I had come across his processor a few times in the previous terms I had been here, but didn't feel like I knew him very well. I found myself studying him as he studied everyone else in the class. I was surprised to realize that he was _ancient._ He didn’t really _feel_ that old. Usually after five or six hundred vorns, mecha started to get tired or complacent, but he was neither despite being at least twice that age.

The way he was studying the class was interesting too. He watched us interact, noticing every motion, every time we talked. And he made some surprisingly accurate estimations of which students were most excited to be there, and which students knew each other.

Searchlight was trying to get my attention.

"Hey. You okay?"

I nodded, looking at him.

"You just look like you're kind of out of it." _Are you really okay, or are you just saying that? Nod for okay, shrug for not okay._

I nodded. "Just li-istening," I said.

 _To who?_ Searchlight looked around at the other students.

"So, do you think the teacher's going to show up?" Ratchet grumbled. _Maybe he won't and we can leave._

"I hope so," Searchlight said.

 _I don't know what I'm doing in a class like this._ Breeze thought. _It would be good, I suppose, to know how to defend myself, but…_

"What if he doesn't?" Ratchet said.

"He will," Searchlight insisted. "I hope."

"He will," I said quietly.

_Can you hear him? He must be close then._

He was about to come out. He could tell the conversations in the classroom were getting to the point of rowdiness and some students were starting to wonder if he was coming. So he opened the door and stepped out, then waited for everyone to see him.

The talking slowly died out and then stopped.

"Good orn, everymech," the instructor said. He was slim, and fairly short, and his build was reminiscent of Praxian, but not quite.

The class responded in a scattered, haphazard matter.

The mech nodded. "Before class, every orn, in the future, there will be a circle on the floor for each of you." He pulled a small remote out of subspace and hit a few buttons. Glowing circles lit up on the floor. "I expect each of you to take a seat in one of the circles."

A few of the other students drifted toward the circles, unsure whether he had meant he wanted them to sit now.

"Please do so now," the mech said, then waited for everyone to take a seat, hiding his amusement behind a schooled, stern expression. He was excited to teach another group of beginners.

"When we begin every orn, I will welcome you to class, and then you will say "We are here to learn, Master Yoketron."

Some of the students nodded.

 _This is ridiculous already,_ Ratchet thought.

"So," the teacher said. "Good orn, everymech, welcome to class."

The class responded in unison this time. "We are here to learn, Master Yoketron."

He nodded. "Thank you. Let us begin."

He looked out over his captive and expectant audience.

"Before you were mecha, you were sparks."

 _Oh, now he's going to bring religion into it,_ Ratchet thought. _Great._

"You are still sparks," Yoketron said. "But now you are sparks empowered. You have frames, which carry your spark and grant it the ability to affect the physical world. You can move, you can touch things. You have gravity. Circuit-Su is the art of gaining complete control over that power. "

Ratchet rolled his optics.

 _…so you can fight awesomely._ Searchlight added to himself.

"The first step to being in control is to learn to fight distraction. All of you shut off your optics and other sensors, except for audio, please."

We all did so. The room got significantly more peaceful. I could still hear everyone thinking, but now I only got images from Yoketron's optics.

"Now," he said. "Clear your processor. Focus inward, on your spark. Pay attention to its rhythm. Do not think about anything else. Just empty your processor and listen."

I listened to everyone else in the class try it. Some of them did a pretty good job. It certainly got a lot less chaotic. This was kind of nice.

 _This is a complete waste of time,_ Ratchet thought.

 _I actually kind of like this,_ Breeze thought.

Searchlight tried for about two astroseconds, but got bored. _I can be patient. We'll get to the fighting part soon._ And then he started daydreaming about that.

 _I could be studying right now,_ Ratchet thought.

And Yoketron was watching us carefully. "Vent slowly. Sit quietly," he started walking around the room. "Now when I tell you to, you're going to turn off your audio and just count your spark pulsing. When you've counted a thousand pulses, you can turn your audio back on. Begin."

Everyone turned off their audio as well. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. It was almost getting _too_ quiet, even though only a handful of students were successfully meditating. And Ratchet was practically having a fit. Maybe if he just calmed down, it would help him. Yoketron shut off his audios and optics as well, but continued to walk around. He knew where all of us were, and was in no danger of stepping on anyone. Besides, he could somehow sense our sparks. He could also tell who was meditating and who was just daydreaming. That was interesting. He knew Searchlight wasn't counting, and Ratchet and me. Breeze was doing really well for a while. Then _she_ could suddenly sense the other sparks around her and that threw her off a little. She started trying to pick out which one was Searchlight's, and lost concentration. Her audios even came back on, and she had to shut them off again.

A few of the other students were doing pretty well too, and some even noticed that they could sense everyone's sparks.

Searchlight was kind of bored, but he figured we'd get to the fighting after this.

One by one, the other students brought their audios back on, and their optics. We were supposed to have been counting spark pulses. Oops. I brought my audios and my screen back on too. The room was suddenly noisy again. That had been nice. Maybe I would like this class more than I had thought.

"So," Master Yoketron said. "What did you feel?"

There was quiet. Breeze raised her hand.

"Yes. Designation?"

"Breeze."

"Breeze," Yoketron repeated, committing it to memory.

"I could… I don't know if I was imagining it, but I thought I could feel the spark energy from the mecha around me."

Some of the others nodded.

 _Wait, what?_ Searchlight looked at her. _No way. That is so cool._

"Very good. Anything else?"

Another mech raised his hand.

"Yes. Designation?"

"Photonic"

"Go ahead."

"It was kind of hard to focus."

Yoketron nodded. "It can be difficult."

Ratchet raised his hand.

"Yes. Designation?"

"Ratchet. Master Yoketron, what is the point?"

The class was a little shocked, but Yoketron himself kept his cool. In fact, he smiled a little. "That is a very good question, Ratchet. What is the point of meditating? Does anyone have an idea? Yes. Designation?"

"Bellows. It… uh… calms us down?"

"It does that, yes," Yoketron said.

 _I don't need to be calmed down,_ Ratchet thought.

I hesitated. Part of me wanted to raise my hand, but I didn't actually want to talk.

Another student answered.

"It helps you focus. Like you said, it helps you not to get distracted."

Yoketron nodded. "In order to be in control of yourself outwardly, you need to be in control inwardly. Once you've mastered meditating, you will be able to remain calm and in control even in distracting situations." He looked at Ratchet again. "Does that answer your question, Ratchet?"

Ratchet hesitated, then nodded. "Yes." _But I still think it's a waste of time._

"Now, meditation is an act of connecting yourself with the universe. When you meditate, it is important that your frame is in a state of rest and balance. Some of you had an easier time than others, and part of that is because of your posture. You need to find a way to balance so that you could slip into recharge without falling over. Then your balance center doesn't have to work and you get used to the feeling of being stable, which will help you when we practice moving.

"Now, there are many different types of frames, and each of you will have a slightly different center of balance, but that is all right. There are five standard postures for meditating. Usually, two or three of them will work for each mech or femme. I will demonstrate the first one and you can try it…"

He did so, coaching us on how exactly to sit. Then went through the other four postures. He asked each of us to try them and pick one that worked for our frame. None of them had felt particularly balanced to me, but I picked one and tried it. Yoketron told us he wanted us to meditate again, but warned us to be prepared, because he was going to come around and help us correct our posture.

Only a few had really figured it out. I listened in with interest as he went to the students one by one. He tapped them on the shoulder so they'd know they could stop meditating, then he helped them fix their posture so that they were completely balanced. It really did seem to help with the meditating. A few of them slipped out of their posture soon after he left them, but some were doing well.

He got to me and tapped my shoulder.

I turned my audios and screen on.

"What is your designation?"

"Soundwave," I said.

He nodded. "Can you try the third posture I showed you? Do you remember it?"

I nodded as well, and tried it. It wasn't quite right. He watched me thoughtfully. _His frame is a little unusual. Custom built, probably. This might be a little tricky. Maybe…_

"There's another one I'd like you to try," he said. _I haven't used this one for vorns._ "Let me show you."

It took a breem for me to get it, but when I did, I could really tell. I had expected that, from listening to the other mecha feel it, but it was still almost surprising. I could just… let go, and I didn't fall over.

Yoketron moved on.

I was a little sad when he finally had us stop. More time had gone by than anyone realized except for Ratchet and Searchlight who were both bored out of their processors. It was funny how similar they were sometimes, even about things they disagreed on.

Master Yoketron spoke for a few more breems, praising the class for a good first try and talking about classroom etiquette a little more. And then he told us to practice meditating and dismissed us early.

Searchlight waited for most of the students to file out. Yoketron saw him and guessed that he had a question. Breeze, Ratchet and I waited as well.

Searchlight walked up to the instructor.

"Yes, Searchlight? You have something to ask me?"

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "Circuit-su involves… you know… fighting, right?"

Master Yoketron had to try very hard not to smile. _One of these ones…_ He nodded solemnly.

"When do we get to that part?" _Don't tell me it's decaorns away, please…_

"We get to that part when we get better at meditating," Yoketron met Searchlight's optics in a meaningful way. _Yes, I know you didn't even try, sparkling._

Searchlight held the teacher's gaze—not quite defiantly, but at least with confidence.

Yoketron was a little intrigued by that, but didn't react. "I will see you next orn, Searchlight." He nodded curtly.

Searchlight nodded as well and walked back to the rest of us. "Come on," he said.

* * *

The rest of school wasn't too bad. Everyone was excited or unhappy or stressed because of the new term, but so it was every term. I was very ready for it to be over by the end of the orn. I got Ravage and took him with me to Searchlight's room, where everyone else was already waiting. Ravage leaped off my shoulders and went to spread himself across Ratchet's desk. Ratchet glared at him, but was secretly happy to see him.

"I changed my mind," Searchlight said. "I'm not excited for school."

Breeze shook her helm.

"In fact, I hate school."

I sat down on Ratchet's berth, because Breeze was in the chair.

"How are you holding up, 'Wave?"

"Fine," I said.

"Really?"

I nodded.

"I saw Cablereach. He said that we should come visit him some time this orn or next orn." _That'll be good. He's pretty cool, for a teacher._

"That's good," Breeze said. _Oh, and Soundwave, I'm taking a class about the psychology behind speaking this term, so I'm definitely wanting to help you try and get better at talking._

I had been really excited about that idea when Breeze had first offered. But I wasn't so sure now. I guessed it was all right for her to try. And it would be nice if I could learn to speak better… but it might not be worth it.

"This term…" _We have to find some way to make school more interesting._ "This term, we ought to do something really awesome."

 _Oh, here we go,_ Ratchet thought. "Count me out."

"No I mean, not something stupid. Something cool."

"I thought learning how to fight was cool," Breeze said.

Searchlight shook his helm. "That is going to take ages. And that teacher—I don’t know if he’s as awesome as everyone says he is. To me it seems like he likes the sound of his own voice too much. I don’t know. Either way we should do something."

Breeze smiled. _He is so ridiculous._ "Like what?"

"I don't know yet. I'm still thinking about it."

We did end up going to Cablereach's office a little later in the orn. He was busy talking to another student at first, but welcomed us in and we waited. When he was finished with the other student, he shut the door and we talked for a while. Mostly he just asked us how we were doing, and made sure to re-emphasize how important it was for us to keep my abilities a secret.

* * *

The next orn, classes went about the same. After they were over, I went to my room to get Ravage, and found Breeze there, waiting for me outside of my closed door.

"So," she said. "I learned this orn there are three different kinds of speech problems that are the most common."

I nodded and opened the door. I'd looked into it a little on my own last term, but decided to just let it lie. I really wasn't sure if I wanted to let Breeze make a project out of me, but I'd put up with it for now. She'd probably give up after a while. I beckoned her in and she sat at my desk while I took the berth. Ravage climbed up onto my shoulders.

"I think your problem is a core thing. Something about the connection between your core and your processor makes it hard for you to talk, especially if you're feeling a lot of emotion… or it _could_ be the connection between your processor and your voice box. That would explain why you have a hard time talking when your processor is overloaded. Or, it could be both. If it's a problem with your processor, that will be harder to work with, especially since your processor's probably a little different than everyone else's…." _And if he'd want to fix that, he'd need processor surgery or something. Nomech wants that._

I pulled out a datapad. [It's probably a processor problem. I didn't stutter as a sparkling before the accident]

She looked at the datapad. _I should ask him not to use that… he remembers before the accident?_ "You remember…"

I shook my helm and typed. [Crescent remembers]

"Hmmm…" _But if it's a processor problem, there might not be much I can do._

I shrugged.

She narrowed her optics. _Don't shrug at me. I'm not giving up. Besides, I think it's emotional._ "If it was purely a processor problem, then why would you stutter worse then you're upset or nervous? Here. I want you to try something. Try not to feel any emotion. Try speaking without any inflection at all, just flat and monotone. Try not to feel the words, just say them."

I looked at her.

"Go on."

I reached for the datapad, but she held it away from me. "Take a couple of deep vents and say something. Take your time. It doesn't matter how it sounds."

I took a deep vent and let it out slowly. I tried to dampen all the emotion in my core and spoke in a quiet, dead-sounding voice.

"I ha-ate talking," I took another vent. "So it doesn't matte-er." I hesitated.

"See?" Breeze said. "You stuttered less." _Except that was really creepy… oops, sorry, I didn't mean that._

I held out my hand for the datapad.

She hesitated. _I want you to talk._

I pulled my hand back and waited, feeling frustrated. Then I felt bad. She was only trying to help me after all. I looked down.

 _Don't be mad at me._ "Soundwave…" _Maybe I should handle this differently._ "Soundwave, okay…" _It really isn't my choice._ "I know you don't like to talk. I think you’ll be happier if you learn how, but I can't force you… so do you want to do this or not?"

I hesitated.

_And now you have to make the decision._

I held out my hand again.

She gave me the datapad.

[I'm in for now. I don't think you can do anything, though. And I can't walk around talking like a drone.]

She frowned. She was a little hurt that I didn't have any faith in her ability to help me. "The end goal is to talk normally. That was just an exercise, to show you that emotions are really a big part of it."

Searchlight was coming.

"I just wanted you to see that…"

The door opened. "Hey, Soundwave… and Breeze…" _There you are, both of you._ "Working on talking?"

Breeze nodded. "Yep."

"Awesome. Can I sit in?"

 _That would be okay,_ Breeze thought. _But distracting._

"What?" Searchlight noticed her hesitation.

"No," I said.

 _Wow. You're kind of grumpy._ "Okay, then," he raised an optic ridge. "Just come to my room when you're done, all right? Ratchet's been driving me up the wall… I've been driving him up the wall… or something. We need you, mech."

"Okay," I said.

"Thanks. You're the best. I'll let you two get back to what you were doing." He left and the door shut behind him.

Breeze sighed. _He needs_ you _but he doesn't even think about me._

She was actually much better at helping Searchlight and Ratchet get along with each other than I was. I shrugged.

She looked at me. _He doesn't even notice me, does he?_

I tilted my helm back and forth. He did care about her and considered her a close friend…

"You're just trying to be nice," Breeze said.

I wrote [I don't think the idea of liking you has ever crossed his processor. Maybe if he thought of it, he might decide he _does_ like you. You could try telling him.]

She looked at the message, then deleted it. "Are you crazy? I can't do that!"

I shrugged.

_And don't you tell him either. Don't even think about it._

I shrugged again.

"You had better not!"

I shook my helm, wishing I could smile to show her I was just teasing. "Don't worry," I said.

Breeze vented another sigh. _I just hope he doesn't get it into his processor that the two of us like each other._

I shook my helm and replayed a recording of what I had said before. "Don't worry."

She smiled bitterly. "At least I don't have to worry about him figuring out that I like him. He's not very observant about that sort of thing, is he?"

[Try completely oblivious]

She smiled. Then frowned. _But that doesn't help me. I bet it's painfully obvious to everyone but him._

And now she was depressed and self-conscious. Honestly, why did femmes get like that over practically nothing? And she assumed that just because Searchlight wasn't helm-over-heels in love with her that he must hate her, or be upset with her about something. He hadn't even thought about her like that. That didn't mean he wouldn't. Of course, it didn't mean he _would_ either. I didn't want to give her false hope… but…

[Just be patient] I wrote.

She shuttered her optics and took an overdramatically deep vent. "Patience," she said. "That's a good idea." _I don't want to be patient._

"So…" I said.

"Okay. Talking." She shook her helm. "Sorry, where were we?"

I shrugged. We'd been discussing whether this was even a good idea in the first place.

 _Searchlight distracted me. You wanted the datapad back… oh._ "I was thinking that if we're going to do this, I want you to promise that you won't use that datapad while we're talking."

I looked down.

"I don't care if it takes longer for you to communicate." Breeze said. "And I won't judge you." _Surely you know I won’t judge you for your stutter._

I hesitated, then nodded slightly.

"So long as that's the only reason you don't like to talk." _It doesn't actually hurt, does it?_

I shook my helm. It didn’t—not physically, at least.

And while it was true she wouldn't judge me, she would measure me, count the times I stuttered, watch for improvement, and encourage me. That would be uncomfortable.

"So… are you willing to agree to that?"

I hesitated again, then put the datapad back in subspace and nodded.

"Okay," Breeze said. "So talking in a monotone voice is a start. You still stutter when you do that, just not as much. Maybe if you try it a little more you can master not stuttering when you talk like that."

I looked at her.

"No matter what, the thing that's probably going to make the biggest difference is practicing. You're going to have to practice."

Great. "What i-if I don't kno-o-ow what to sa-ay?"

"Uh… you could try reading something out loud."

I nodded. That would probably be a solution. No getting out of it. Oh well. She got a datapad out and I took a deep vent and prepared for the worst.


	29. Learning

"You are all dismissed," Yoketron said.

"Thank you, Master Yoketron," everyone chorused—except me. I figured staying silent was better than being embarrassingly out of sync with the rest of the class—and started filing out of the room. But Searchlight had had an idea while he was supposed to have been meditating, and he wanted to present it to the instructor.

So he waited until everyone else was gone besides the five of us.

"Yes, Searchlight?" Yoketron said. _Again? This youngling is abnormally persistent._

"Master Yoketron," Searchlight said. "Are you sure we have to do all this meditating before we learn anything else?"

"Yes," Yoketron said.

"How about… Is it possible to come in after classes and practice more? Would that speed things up?"

Yoketron shook his helm. "You must simply be patient."

"I want to learn," Searchlight said.

Yoketron hesitated.

"Is there some way I can learn faster?"

"What exactly is it that you want to learn?" _And he'd better answer truthfully._

"I want to learn to fight. I want to learn Circuit-Su."

 _Hmmm…_ "Why?"

Searchlight was taken aback.

"Why?" Yoketron asked again. "Because it's cool? Because you want to impress mecha? Maybe because you want to be able to hurt mecha?"

Searchlight was even more taken aback. "I don't want to hurt anyone!"

_That sounded honest. Good._

"I mean…" he admitted. "I do think it's cool."

"So do I," Yoketron said with a bit of a smile. "But Circuit-su is not only about fighting. It's about balancing. It's about understanding. It's about being in control of yourself and discovering who you are. It's about so much more than fighting. And that is what you do not yet understand, and that is why I am hesitant to offer to teach you, because if you are so focused on only one part of Circuit-Su, you will never live up to your full potential."

Searchlight looked down.

"Do you understand me?" Yoketron asked, still smiling slightly.

"I guess."

"You don't sound very certain."

"You're saying you don't want to teach me to fight… because it's not really about learning how to fight."

"No," Yoketron said.

Searchlight looked at him.

"I didn't say it's _not_ about learning how to fight. I said it's not _only_ about learning how to fight."

Searchlight frowned.

"It's also about learning how to meditate." _Now I've got his attention at least, but he still looks confused._ "And the different parts of Circuit-Su are interconnected such that if you don't learn how to meditate, it will be very difficult for you to learn to fight."

"Oh…" Searchlight said.

"Do you understand me now?"

"Maybe?"

Yoketron shook his helm. "I will train you privately if you want, on three conditions."

Searchlight took a step back. _What? You what?_ "Wait…"

"First…"

"Wait, really?" _Train me personally? Oh my Primus, I can't believe this. I just…_ "You'll really train me privately?"

"Calm down," Yoketron said. "You haven't heard the conditions yet."

"What are they?" Searchlight asked. _I'll do anything._

"The first one is an agreement that if you give up or back out, you can't change your mind. You either commit to it or I never see you again, not even in third joor."

Searchlight nodded _I am so in._

"The second condition is that you do not question me. You do what I ask. I cannot and will not teach an unwilling student. If you decide you know better than me, you're out."

That one was slightly harder to swallow. _He'll want me to meditate all the time. But I guess he said that's important for the fighting._

Well, at least that had sunk in.

"The third condition," Yoketron said. "Is that you bring a friend who is willing to agree to the same conditions. You'll need a sparring partner, and I like teaching in pairs better anyway."

 _Not me,_ Ratchet thought.

 _He'll probably pick Soundwave,_ Breeze speculated.

Searchlight looked at me. _What do you say?_

I'd have to think about that. Yoketron was too smart. I didn't want him to figure out my secret, and I'd have to be really careful about that if I was going to spend a lot of time with him.

"I'll give you until next orn. Meet me here ten breems after the last class ends this orn if you can, or next if you can't find someone until then."

"Deal," Searchlight said.

"Very well. I'll be seeing you soon."

"Thank you, Master Yoketron." Searchlight bowed.

Master Yoketron bowed back. "You're welcome." _Don't thank me yet, youngling. This will be interesting. We'll see how long he lasts._

We left.

_So, 'Wave, will you come?_

I didn't answer. I hadn't quite decided. I didn't have any particular desire to learn to fight, nor did I want to spend a lot of time with Master Yoketron. I got the feeling that if he found out my secret, he would really understand what it meant for me and for everyone else. I didn't know what he would do but if he decided I was a threat, I didn't think it would go well for me.

* * *

We went to our respective classes and didn't see each other for the rest of the school orn. After my last class, I went to my room to collect Ravage and took him to Searchlight's room.

Searchlight and Ratchet were already there.

"Hey, 'Wave," Searchlight said. "So, will you come? Or not. If you don't want to, that's okay." _I'm not sure who else I'd bring. I mean, I'm sure I can find someone, but I'd rather it be you, mech._

I had forgotten about it.

Well, time to decide.

_I don't want to drag you into this if you don't want to come._

And of course, he had to get all understanding all of a sudden.

"Okay," I said.

"Ok, you'll come?"

I nodded. I’d probably regret it, but Searchlight didn’t have anyone else to go with him.

"Awesome! You're the best, 'Wave! Let's go."

"Can I come?" Ravage asked.

I shook my helm.

 _Not fair._ Ravage looked at Ratchet.

"Take your monster with you. Don't leave it here," Ratchet said. _I have homework and he will be bored and won't leave me alone._

I shook my helm and followed Searchlight out of the room, leaving Ravage behind.

"So," Searchlight said. "It's too bad our only class together is third joor, but you're lucky you're not in my pre-Quintesson civilization class. We have a test every decaorn. It's ridiculous."

I shrugged.

"Of course, it doesn't matter that much, since you would get to take the tests outside of class."

I nodded.

"But that's still a ridiculous number of tests."

We were quiet the rest of the way to Master Yoketron's classroom. He was there, waiting for us.

"Good orn," he said.

"Good orn Master Yoketron," Searchlight replied.

"I'm glad you could come." Yoketron looked at me, then back to Searchlight. _I thought so. This should be fun._ "Please begin by spending some time meditating."

 _Of course._ "Yes, Master Yoketron."

Two circles appeared on the ground and we each sat in one and tried to meditate. Sort of. Searchlight didn't try very hard and it was pretty much impossible for me since _he_ wasn't doing it. Yoketron watched us for a few breems, then stopped us.

"Neither of you are meditating." He said. "Do you have any thoughts about why it's so difficult for you?"

Searchlight opened his lip plates, but Yoketron stopped him. "Soundwave."

"I'm distra-acted," I said.

Yoketron nodded, though he was a little confused. _There's not much in the room to distract them._

"Me too," Searchlight said.

"Please wait for me to ask you a question," Yoketron said. "Can you think of a solution to the problem, Soundwave?"

If Searchlight could meditate, then maybe I'd be able to. But his thoughts made it impossible. I couldn't explain that, though. I shrugged.

He nodded, then turned to Searchlight. "Searchlight, what exactly is it that's distracting you?"

Everything.

"Well," Searchlight said. "I guess, just thinking about other things."

 _Daydreamer_ Yoketron thought. "Then you must practice _not_ thinking about other things. Shut off all your sensories and see how high you can count without losing focus."

"Okay," Searchlight said. _I'll show him how high I can count. I'll count to two thousand._ He shut off all his sensory functions and started counting.

"And Soundwave," Yoketron said once he was satisfied Searchlight was following his instructions. "What's distracting you?"

Searchlight, but I couldn't explain that to him.

"I don't kno-ow," I said.

 _This fledgling is different. I can't quite put a finger on it, but there's something familiar... something unusual. Maybe it has something to do with whatever happened to his faceplate. That is a nice replacement, but no one would do that on purpose._ "Do you normally have trouble concentrating?"

I nodded. Then shrugged.

"Do you have any sensory functions that are higher or lower than average?"

Uh… did being able to hear everyone's thoughts count? I shrugged.

"You don't know?"

I shook my helm. Then realized that was still ambiguous. "I do-on't kno-ow."

_Hmmm… it could be that he has some sort of processor damage from whatever happened to him. That would line up with the stutter. But he's doing better in this room with just the three of us so maybe other mecha make him nervous._

"Try…. Try going over to the wall. Face the wall, pretend you're alone—convince yourself you're the only one in the room, then shut off your optics and audios, and meditate."

I tried not to look relieved. That would probably work, provided I went as far away from Searchlight as possible.

"I don't know if it will help, but I want you to try it."

I nodded and got up to walk to the very edge of the room. Just a few paces from the wall, Searchlight was out of my range. Perfect. I could still hear Yoketron, but one processor was better than two.

I sat the way Yoketron had showed me and started trying to meditate. Then Yoketron walked out of my range as well, and for the first time in a long while, I was completely alone in my own helm.

All of my sensors were off so I couldn't hear or feel or see anything. It was kind of frightening. As soon as I thought that, my audios came on again and I had to turn them off a second time, telling myself I was fine. I tried to calm my spark and melt into the emptiness. It was hard at first, but soon I didn't feel quite so alone, because I could sense the sparks of the other two mechs in the room.

It was different from being able to read their processors. Sparks weren't the part of you that thought or felt. They were the part that fueled the thinking and feeling, the part that existed independent of the matter you were made of, the only part that was really real. I could feel other mecha too, moving around the school, in barely distinguishable groups and patterns.

Then Yoketron came into my range, startling me. I tried to pretend I was still meditating, but he could tell. My audios and screen had come back on anyway, so I looked up and turned around.

"Very good," Master Yoketron said. "That was much better."

I nodded.

"Well," he said. "Your joor is almost up."

I checked my internal timepiece. Yes. We were done. It hadn't felt like that long.

_There's still something familiar… I don't know what it is. Something from a long time ago… I recognize something in him. I don't know what it is._

That made me very nervous. I couldn't have him trying to figure me out, but how could I stop him?

Yoketron went over to Searchlight and tapped his shoulder. His optics and audios came on and he stood up, feeling frustrated and disappointed in himself. He had actually tried, at least.

Yoketron dismissed us and we walked away.

"I couldn't even count to two hundred," Searchlight said. "If we have to get good at meditating, I'm _never_ going to get to the fighting."

I shrugged.

"Did you manage it?"

I nodded.

"How?"

I shrugged.

"Well, that helps," Searchlight said sarcastically, then sighed. _Sorry, I'm not really mad at you._ "Hey, think Ravage is winning, or Ratchet?"

"Ravage," I said. Ravage always won.

"How much you want to bet?" _Ratchet's in quite the mood this orn._

"Twenty cre-edits."

"Come on. You can go higher than that."

"Thirty."

"You're on, mech."

"Y-you don't have thirty credi-its."

"I won't lose."

I shook my helm.

* * *

The next orn, Yoketron started to teach the class some basic fighting moves. It was interesting to see the different reactions that got from the students. Some were excited. Some of them had forgotten that it was even a fighting class. Breeze and Ratchet weren't too happy, but they got over it pretty quickly.

Yoketron put us in pairs after a while. I was with Ratchet. It was fairly easy to figure out what Yoketron wanted us to do—how exactly he wanted us to move. Ratchet was grumpy about it, but he wasn't too bad at it either.

 _I'm glad you're the one who can read processors, not Searchlight,_ Ratchet thought at one point. _It gives you an unfair advantage in fighting._

I shrugged.

_If that lunatic could do it, he'd be an even bigger menace._

I nodded. This was probably true, and in any case I wouldn't wish my abilities on anyone, no matter who they were or what they would do with them.

Searchlight was really excited when we went up to take extra lessons from Yoketron, but the Circuit-Su master just wanted us to meditate again.

I was fine with that. Meditating was my favorite part of this. In fact, since being in the class, I was having fewer processor aches. Of course, I couldn't meditate unless everyone else was doing so successfully, but at least it was quieter when they were trying. I was working on pretending to meditate too, because I didn't want Yoketron to figure out that I could only do it when no one was close to me. He was still trying to figure out what was different about me.

About halfway through our session, Yoketron had me get up.

"You are getting better at meditating."

I nodded, then spoke, knowing he wanted me to. "Thank you, Ma-aster Y-yoketron."

 _Primus… that's it. He's spoken to Primus._ Yoketron's optics searched my screen.

I was taken aback. I had what?

He kept staring at me.

I figured I should probably say something. "Wha-at?"

"Nothing," Yoketron frowned. Scenes flashed through his helm, memories. Mecha, cannonfire, big twisted, horrifying faceplates and a blinding blue-white light. A voice.

I recognized the voice.

The memories faded, and Yoketron glanced at Searchlight, then looked back at me. "You are a very interesting and unusual young mech, Soundwave."

I shrugged.

"I don't want to trouble you with questions since I can gather you don't like to talk much. But something has been familiar about you and I've just now figured out what it is."

Thank Primus. He hadn't been close to figuring out my abilities after all. It was just that I'd talked to Primus… though… had I?

"It's been a long time, you see, since I've met anyone who has spoken with Primus, especially anyone so young."

I tilted my helm to the side. "I… do-on't know…"

 _I'm almost certain… maybe he doesn't remember._ "Yes?" he prompted.

When Searchlight and I had gone camping that first time, and I had climbed that cliff. There'd been a voice. I'd sometimes wondered if it was Primus, but I'd never told anyone about it. "Ho-ow can you tell?"

"Speaking to him adds a certain quality to your spark energy. It changes you a little. It's hard to notice unless you've spoken to him too." As he spoke, his processor did a much better job of showing me what he meant. I could see now, the difference, or sense it at least, in him.

"So y-you've talked to hi-im?"

"Yes," Yoketron said. Then he smiled. "I'll tell you the story, if you tell me yours." _I am so glad that Searchlight brought this mech with him._

I looked off to the side a little. "I-I can't," I said. I still didn't want to tell him. He was too old, too experienced, too wise. He'd know I was leaving something out if I didn't explain my mind-reading. And if I told him, he would understand more than Searchlight or Breeze or Cablereach or anyone else I'd told. As nice as it would be for someone to finally completely understand me, I was too afraid. The older I got, the more powerful and dangerous I realized my abilities were.

"Very well," Yoketron said. "I will respect that, and I won't ask again. But if you change your mind, you'll have a willing audio."

I nodded. "Thanks… Ma-aster Yoketron."

He tapped Searchlight on the shoulder and Searchlight got up.

"You will certainly need to keep working on that, but you _were_ doing somewhat better. Now, let's go over what you learned this orn in class…"

He had us do that for a few breems, and was pleased with my progress but not Searchlight's so he told us to go back to meditating.

* * *

Afterward, Searchlight was still feeling frustrated.

"Let's go to the park or something," he said as we walked away.

I shrugged. The park wasn't too bad, and I was feeling pretty good.

We walked past Searchlight's room and ran into Breeze on the way to pick up Ravage.

"Hey, Searchlight, Soundwave," she said. "I want to practice speaking…"

"I’ve claimed him already this orn. But you can come to the park with us if you want."

Breeze thought about that for a moment. "Fine." _We can work on it there maybe._

"You don't have to," Searchlight said.

"No, I want to."

She followed us down the hall to my room.

Ravage jumped up onto my shoulders as soon as I opened the door. _I wish you'd come earlier._

"Sorry," I said, reaching up to rub the plating behind his audios.

"Want to go to the park, Rav?" Searchlight asked.

"Yes!" Ravage said, shifting excitedly. _I get to run!_

We traipsed back past Searchlight's room. He stuck his helm in the door. "Ratch, we're going to the park."

"Have fun," Ratchet said.

"You can bring your homework."

"No."

"You'll be left out."

"Left out of a bunch of wind and shouting and flying playground equipment. Sounds good to me."

"C'mon, mech, we need you," Searchlight said.

"For what?"

"To make snarky comments."

Ratchet snorted.

"Really, come on. You need more sunlight."

_Oh, whatever. It'll be easier just to go._

"If you don't, we can leave Ravage here with you to help you with…"

"I'm coming, I'm coming! You don't need to threaten me!"

"I'm not staying here," Ravage growled.

"I'm _coming!_ " Ratchet subspaced a bunch of datapads on his desk and came out the door. Then we headed to the park. Once we were outside, Ravage leaped down from my shoulders and walked alongside us, feeling pleased and excited. Some orn, I decided, I'd live somewhere where there were big open spaces and Ravage could run around all he wanted and pretend to hunt things.

We got to the park. There weren't that many mecha there so Searchlight just played fetch with Ravage. He had a special ball with a motor in it that would bounce around when it hit the ground. Ravage enjoyed chasing it.

Ratchet settled down to do his homework. Now that we were actually at the park, he was enjoying the open atmosphere. Breeze watched Searchlight for a breem, admiring how far he could throw and considering whether to try to join in. Then she sighed. _I don't want to neglect you, Soundwave._

I really didn't care.

"I've been thinking," Breeze said. "About meditating. Have you noticed that you don't stutter as much after Circuit-Su class?"

I thought back. Maybe…

"I mean, you've only talked a few times while we were walking away from class, but you didn't stutter much."

I shrugged. It was quieter in that class. That probably helped a lot.

"So this time I want you to meditate for a few breems, and then try to talk.

I nodded, then beckoned for her to stay put and walked far enough away that I was out of range of her. Then I sat down on the ground and meditated.

I didn't let myself get too far into it before I stopped. I didn't want to leave Breeze waiting too long, so after a couple of breems, I came back over to her. "You think meditating wi-ill help?" I asked.

She smiled. _You only stuttered once._

That was true. Not very helpful, though. The difference was noticeable, but… "I can't medi-i-ita-a… not befo-ore every time I ta-alk."

She deflated a little. "No. You can't. But it's progress, right? You know there are things you can _do_ to help you talk better." _You even managed to say "meditate" the first time without any trouble._

Wow. What a feat.

"So now we know that it _is_ possible to get better. You just need to figure out something you can do that will have a similar effect on you." _I think that being nervous about talking probably doesn't help._ "Do you get nervous about talking?"

I looked at her. Of course I did.

_He isn't answering. That's an easy question._

Ratchet looked up and noticed a mech watching Searchlight and Ravage playing catch. _What does he want?_

He wasn't very far away so I expanded my range to cover the stranger as well. There was no one here, and we would probably stay long enough for my range to shrink again.

He was watching Ravage, admiring the symbiont.

_Look how fast it is too… With some training, I bet it would be pretty fierce. It would be perfect._

"Soundwave?" Breeze said.

I shook my helm.

"You don't get nervous?"

"I do," I said.

_I don't know if it's possible to distract the mechling or lure the cat away. Maybe he'll go play with his other friends and let the cat run loose…_

He wanted Ravage.

I suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Most of the time, though, it was just admiration or jealousy, not serious plans to steal him.

"Okay, try meditating again…"

I shook my helm and walked away. She was a little confused and frustrated, but didn't say anything.

"Hey," Searchlight said when I came up next to him. _Want a turn?_

"We-e should go," I said.

Searchlight looked at me. _Everything okay?_

I beckoned to Ravage, who came over. "What?"

"We're goi-ing home."

"Awwww," Ravage said. "Why? We just got here."

I shook my helm and gestured for him to climb up on my shoulders, which he did very reluctantly.

The creepy mech was disappointed, but figured it would have been hard anyway, since there weren't many mecha around to distract us.

"Are we going back already?" Ratchet said.

"Apparently," Searchlight replied. _Why? What’s going on, ‘Wave?_

"We just got here," Ratchet said. _Make up your fragging processor._

"Sorry," Searchlight said. "Not my decision. 'Wave's the one who wants to go."

"Why?" Breeze asked.

I just started walking. They followed me all the way back to the school and eventually gave up asking me what was wrong and let me go to my room with Ravage.

Ravage was kind of curious too, and upset that we hadn't stayed longer at the park. But he didn't mind napping on my shoulders while I tried to do my homework.

But homework proved impossible—there was too much to think about. I couldn't help but worry about the mech at the park, of course, but there was also what Master Yoketron had said and confirmed. That voice had been Primus. Primus had spoken to me. But why? Who was I in the grand scheme of things? And why, if he _had_ condescended to speak to me, why just one word? Some orn I needed to go back to that cliff and try to find out.


	30. Progress

"I-I… I don't thi-i-ink…" I vented a sigh.

"No, you're doing good," Breeze said. _You can do it!_

I shook my helm. "I _was_ do-oing good."

"Don't get nervous."

Thank you, I'll try that.

"Don't think about how it's going to sound."

I glanced longingly at the datapad on the desk, but Breeze put her hand on it. "No."

I took a deep vent and focused on my spark, listening to it pulsing, feeling its life. Breeze's encouraging thoughts were distracting, but I tried to ignore them and focus inward. I was getting better at meditating with other mecha around, but this time, it didn't work.

"You ca-an stop mentally chee-eering me o-on."

"Does it annoy you?"

I nodded.

"Okay, I'll stop."

"Thank you."

"So…"

I took a deep vent. "I can still only say short thi-ings…" Sometimes. Sometimes I could.

Breeze nodded. "That was better. And you were too close to me to be meditating."

I shrugged, then looked at the datapad again.

"No," Breeze said.

I turned my screen off and took a click to try and meditate before speaking again. "I'm getting better at… me-e-editati-i-ing."

Slag it.

"Cool," Breeze said.

It was never quite meditating, not unless I was completely alone, but I could get close.

"But you're still scared of big words."

I shrugged.

"But," Breeze said. "You shouldn't be. Big words are just a bunch of little words stuck together. Don't think about how they sound. Just think about what you want to communicate to me, and say it. Next time, not one stutter, all right?"

No guarantees. I didn't move, but I did try meditating again.

Then Searchlight came into my range and broke my concentration.

The door opened. "Hey," Searchlight said. "Oh… did I interrupt you? Sorry."

"You're fine," Breeze said.

"Good," Searchlight said. "'Wave, we need to go."

Right. Master Yoketron.

I got up and followed Searchlight down the hall.

"This is getting kind of ridiculous," Searchlight said. "He's started teaching you new stuff while I'm still supposed to be meditating, hasn't he?"

I shrugged.

"It's totally not fair." _Is he just trying to make me mad?_

"He-e wants you to le-e-earn to…"

"Well, maybe if I wasn't bored out of my processor I'd be able to. And how is it that _you_ can meditate when…" _When you can hear all of us thinking in your helm. Of course… are you out of range of me when you sit across the room?_

I nodded.

_So not fair._

So not fair? It wasn't fair that I had to have everyone's thoughts in my helm in the first place.

"I don't want to quit," Searchlight said. "But I don't think he's really trying to teach me anything. Just because you're better behaved…"

I shook my helm.

_What's that supposed to mean?_

He _did_ want to teach Searchlight. He just wanted to teach him some patience and humility before he taught him anything else. He was also testing Searchlight, trying to see if he would stick it out. He wasn't too pleased with the speed of his progress, but he _was_ impressed by his tenacity.

He nodded when we entered the room.

"Good orn! Welcome, both of you."

"We are here to learn, Master Yoketron," we said. I stuttered a couple of times, so we weren't really in sync.

"You may begin by meditating," Yoketron said. Searchlight and I sat on opposite sides of the room, and we meditated—or at least, I did. I was pretty sure Searchlight wasn't. He might be trying, but probably not very hard.

After about ten breems, Yoketron had me get up. He was a good teacher, but I was an even better learner. Conceptually, I understood exactly what he wanted me to do, exactly how he wanted me to move. I was getting really good at staying balanced too, and in control. It was natural. It felt right.

Searchlight gave up halfway through the joor and got to his pedes. Yoketron noticed him immediately. He wasn't angry, but he was a little disappointed.

"Master Yoketron."

Yoketron turned to look at him. "Yes, Searchlight? Is there a reason you aren't meditating?"

"Yes," Searchlight said. "This is ridiculous. If you aren't going to teach me anything, why am I here?"

"Are you questioning my decisions?" Yoketron asked.

"Yes," Searchlight said. "I'm going to be quartexes behind Soundwave in learning things. How are we supposed to be sparring partners if you're teaching him things I haven't even started to learn yet?"

Yoketron frowned. "I believe part of our bargain was that you would do what I asked."

"I have been," Searchlight said. "I can meditate fine."

"You are not ready to move on."

"But…"

"You still aren't taking this seriously," Yoketron said.

"Maybe if you taught me something that was actually useful, I'd take it seriously!"

"Are you in control, Searchlight?"

Searchlight took a deep vent and let it out in a huff. "What?"

"You're angry. This puts you at a disadvantage. When we're angry, we do and say things that we later regret. Meditation is about learning to control _yourself_. You have no hope of controlling your outward circumstances if you can't control yourself. Now, please return to…"

"But…"

"This is your trial, Searchlight. This may be the most difficult part for you. You must learn that patience isn't just waiting. You will wait, whether or not you are patient, but..."

"Patience isn't waiting?" _This mech is completely insane._

"Patience is the ability to focus on the present and trust that the future you hope for will be there when you have earned it."

"What?" Searchlight said. "That doesn't make sense."

 _This fledgling._ Yoketron raised an optic ridge. "Then perhaps you can sit down and contemplate it for a few breems before you return to meditating."

Searchlight vented a sigh, but sat back down. _I think what he said was just a fancier way of saying waiting for things. I hate waiting for things. Why am I even here? This is never going to go anywhere._

Master Yoketron turned his attention back to me. _This state of things won't last forever. We're close to a threshold. Either he'll break through, or give up. I hope he doesn't give up. He's not really cut out for fighting, but if one is determined enough, one can accomplish many difficult things._

I wasn't sure at this point either. If Searchlight dropped out, though, I'd drop out too. Sometimes I wished we could switch places. I'd much rather sit in the corner and meditate the whole time. I didn't expect to need to fight a lot in the future.

* * *

The next orn, during class, we were working in pairs, and for the first time were actually trying to fight each other. It was mostly a balance exercise where we tried to knock each other over. I was paired with Ratchet. He wasn't really engaged, though, and was definitely not happy about this whole exercise, so neither of us were really trying.

Yoketron walked around the room, giving council and encouragement.

I knocked Ratchet off-balance and he fell.

 _Cheater,_ he thought. _It's not really possible to beat you._

I shrugged, and reached out a hand to help him up. He took it and we started over.

_I suppose you can hear that crazy teacher thinking too. That's probably why you're so ahead of the class._

I nodded. Yoketron wasn't paying attention to us. "Move yo-our left pede forward a little."

"What?"

"Y-you aren't ba-alanced."

Ratchet narrowed his optics, but did as I said. I gave him a few more tips about improving his posture. He glared at me, but followed my instructions, and then we started again. He was surprised at how much easier it was to keep his balance now.

Several paces away from us, Breeze knocked Searchlight over. She smiled, pleased with herself. Searchlight glared at her, and got back to his pedes.

Then we changed partners. I was with another student. Searchlight was with Ratchet.

I only half-paid attention to my own fight, listening instead to Ratchet and Searchlight. Searchlight was still upset that Breeze had been able to beat him, and he was determined not to let Ratchet do the same.

Ratchet, for his part, was pretty much always ready for a contest of wills.

After about a breem, and just before Yoketron was going to ask us to switch again, Ratchet knocked Searchlight over.

Searchlight hit the ground hard, shocked.

Ratchet was a tiny bit shocked too.

My sparring partner nearly sent me to the ground too, but though I was distracted, I still managed to anticipate him and fend him off.

After class, Searchlight stormed off without waiting for us.

"Sore loser," Ratchet muttered as he, Breeze, and I followed the rest of the class out the door.

"Be sympathetic," Breeze said. "Put yourself in his place." _He was so excited about this, and he isn't very good at it. That would be awful… ugh, and now he's mad at me._

I shook my helm. He'd get over it pretty quickly.

Probably.

* * *

After classes were over, I went to my room to say hi to Ravage and did homework while I waited for Searchlight to show up so we could go meet with Master Yoketron. But he didn't show up.

After a breem or so, I went to his room, but neither he nor Ratchet were there.

Great.

Part of me wanted to go to Master Yoketron by myself, and hope Searchlight showed up, but instead, I went looking for him. I found him in the energon hall, sitting in a corner, sulking.

Searchlight.

Sulking.

He saw me as I approached. "You should just go by yourself," he said.

I shook my helm.

He looked up at me. "Go on. It's not like it'll make a difference if I go or not. He'll just have me sitting off to the side of the room, meditating the whole time. Might as well do that here."

I tilted my helm forward slightly.

He glared at me. _What? Just leave me alone._

I didn't move. He was always on my case when I started feeling sorry for myself. I wasn't going to let him get away with this.

He vented a sigh. _I don't know how you manage to look so sarcastic without a face. It's kind of impressive, you know._

I shrugged.

"Ok, okay," Searchlight got up.

We walked to Master Yoketron's classroom.

"You're late," Yoketron said. _Late students are my very least favorite kind._

"We apologize," Searchlight said. "Well, _I_ apologize. It was my fault."

Yoketron nodded. "Apology accepted."

Things started out as expected. Master Yoketron had us start by meditating, and then took me aside to work with me while Searchlight kept meditating. Or, not meditating, as the case might be. Yoketron didn't think he was trying very hard.

About halfway through, Searchlight's patience seemed to run out and he stood again.

Yoketron turned to look at him. "Searchlight, please continue meditating until I ask you to stop."

"I can't," Searchlight said.

Yoketron frowned.

"I'm not even as good as the mecha who are in the normal class. I'm probably the _worst_ in the class."

 _He is attempting to giving up, isn't he? He_ did _do pretty badly in class this orn. I thought I saw something in him, though, that first time. I'm not always right, but…_

"Well?" Searchlight said. _Is he going to say anything, or just stand there?_

"If you would listen to me and put some time and effort toward meditating properly, then you would be better than you are right now."

Searchlight snorted. "I don't want to learn this anyway," he said, and turned to walk out the door.

Yoketron narrowed his optics as he watched Searchlight reach the threshold. "I wouldn't have pegged you as a quitter, Searchlight."

Searchlight stopped in the doorway.

"If I didn't believe you had potential, then I wouldn't have agreed to tutor you."

Searchlight shuttered his optics. _I should leave… but I shouldn't. I can't. I am not a quitter. What the pit am I doing?_

He turned around. "Fine," he said. "But I'm not meditating any more. I'm done with that."

Yoketron tilted his helm to the side. _And now we've come to the breaking point. Let's see if we can figure out what's blocking him. He doesn't seem to understand..._

_He was trying to make me mad, wasn't he? He was trying to push me over the edge. And now he calls me back? Why?_

_The first thing you need to learn to control is yourself._

"Do you believe me?" Yoketron asked. "When I tell you that meditating is essential?"

Searchlight mulled that over in his processor for a few astroseconds. "I don't know," he said.

 _An honest answer, I think_ Yoketron thought. _Very good._

"What if I just can't meditate? Does that mean I can't learn to fight?"

 _He_ can _meditate._ "I don't think the problem is whether you can meditate." Yoketron said. "You may need to look deeper than that." _He's not focused. He doesn't want to start with the basics. He wants skills without the cost of practice. He has no patience._

 _Why does nothing this mech says make sense? What does he want me to look deeper at? I'm not some sort of spiritualist, I just want to learn how to fight. I don't need all this slag about sparks and the universe and looking deeper. That's not going to help me. He just likes to add all this other stuff on top of what he's trying to teach us._ "First you tell me that I need to meditate, now you want me to do something else? Look deeper? What does that mean?"

They stared at each other.

_He's quite stubborn, and he wants this very badly, but he doesn't listen and he doesn't trust me. Then again, I haven't been doing much to gain his trust… maybe I've been going about this the wrong way._

"Well?" Searchlight said.

"Well," Yoketron replied. _It isn't as if I haven't taught students like him before. I just have to figure out exactly what's stopping him. It's not just impatience. Maybe he really doesn't understand my answers to his questions._

"Do _you_ even know what it means to look deeper?" Searchlight said. _Or did you just say that?_

Yoketron smiled. _I see. He doesn't like the mysticism. Oh well._ "Did you just call my bluff, sparkling?"

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "I think I did. Do you just make this stuff up to confuse mecha, or what?"

Yoketron shook his helm, but didn't stop smiling. "No, I'm dead serious, all the time."

 _He_ is _just making it up_. "Phony," Searchlight said.

"You have no regard for authority, do you?" Yoketron was even more amused.

Searchlight wasn't really angry anymore either, just thrown off by Yoketron's reaction to his accusation. "I don't get it."

Yoketron glanced at me. _Soundwave's probably even more confused than Searchlight._

No. Not really.

 _Searchlight has been completely honest with me. I should probably return the favor._ "You're right that it's a bit of an act." Yoketron said. "Nomech as solemn as my classroom persona could live as long as I have."

"So you are a phony."

"I'm a real Circuit-Su teacher."

"You just like making things really confusing for your students."

"It's fun," Yoketron said. "Most students just accept it, or think I'm a little crazy and over-dramatic. And then usually some student or other comes along and kicks me out of my rut. I apologize, Searchlight. I see if I want to train you, I'll have to be a little more straightforward."

"So can I skip the meditating?"

"No," Yoketron said. "And that's not all that's bothering you, is it?"

"No," Searchlight said. "I also don't understand all the stuff you say about sparks and feeling the universe and looking deeper."

"Well, I didn't just make it up," Yoketron said. "And it's not absolutely essential, but it's relevant all the same." _And it's interesting._

_It's processor-numbingly boring._

"You have a very concrete way of thinking about things."

"I what?"

"You… never mind." _This isn't working. He's fun to mess with, though… I shouldn't do that. I have to show him the stars. That's helped some students in the past._ "I think we've done enough of this for now. But I would like you to meet me on the upper roof after the sun goes down, about a joor before lights out. Can you do that?"

"Why?" Searchlight said.

Yoketron raised an optic ridge. "It will be easier to show you."

"Okay," Searchlight said. _More universe nonsense, probably._

"Now," Yoketron said. "As much as I've enjoyed our conversation, and as enlightening as it's been, you really ought to show me a little more respect. I understand that you haven't seen much in me that you feel merits respect, but while I may have a bit of a melodramatic streak, I am not a 'phony' as you have designated me." _I lived through the Quintesson wars, and since then I've been teaching. I've had vorns and vorns and vorns of students. Each one different. Each one challenging in their own way. If you want me to teach you, you need to learn more than just fighting._

Searchlight wanted to be defiant. But he saw something in Yoketron's optics that stopped him and reminded him who he was talking to. "Yes, Master Yoketron."

"Thank you," Yoketron said.

* * *

We went to Searchlight's room to hang out with Ratchet and Breeze, and to do homework. Then, a joor before lights-out, we left to go up to the roof.

Master Yoketron was waiting for us there, meditating. The light from the city made it so the stars weren't quite as bright or numerous as they could have been, but they were still pretty cool.

I glanced over at the edge of the building, remembering that off-cycle when the bullies had dangled Ratchet over that railing.

That had been a really, really long time ago, hadn't it? More than a quarter of a vorn. Things were very different now.

Searchlight stood, watching Master Yoketron, wondering if he ought to say something.

But Yoketron knew we were here. He onlined his optics and looked up at us. "Well, I see you've made it. Welcome, students."

We greeted him and he had us both sit.

"Look up at the stars," Yoketron said.

Searchlight raised an optic ridge. _I knew this was going to be more universe slag._

Yoketron noticed his expression. "I just want to demonstrate something. Really, you have to trust me a little. Do you want to learn or not?"

Searchlight bit back a snarky response and looked up at the stars. _Yay. Stars. They've always been there, they always will be._

I looked up at the stars, but Yoketron didn't. He was paying attention to Searchlight. "Pretend you're among the stars. See how vast the sky is, and how small we are. We _are_ among the stars."

Searchlight really looked then. Looking at the stars made some mecha feel small, but it made Searchlight feel enormous.

"Do you feel anything when you look up at the stars?"

"Wonder, I guess," Searchlight said. "I feel like..." _Like I can do anything. Like reality is so, so big._ "Kind of makes me want to go out there, you know." _This is dumb._ "What kind of answer are you looking for?"

"Most mecha feel something when they look out at the stars." Yoketron said. "In a similar way, you will feel something when you truly reach a state of meditation." _It may be difficult for him to grasp the concept cognitively because it's not really that much different from sitting and doing absolutely nothing. But there is a difference, and it gets more distinct as you practice. There is a feeling. When he looks up at the stars, he wants to go out there with them. He wants to reach them. When you meditate, you want to reach yourself. Of course, explaining that won't help._ "Turn off your sensory receptors and _find_ that feeling."

Searchlight wasn't convinced, but he tried. He shut off his optics and audios and tried to feel the same way he felt when looking up at the stars.

Yoketron shook his helm. "He's going to have to lay aside his skepticism if he wants to make any progress," he said to me. _Soundwave, on the other hand, has amazing potential. He understands me exactly, all the time and understanding is more than half the battle. Then again, I don't think he cares about this as much as Searchlight does._ "There's something I'd like to teach you…"

"Actually," I said. "We-e should wa-ait for him to-o-o catch up."

Yoketron considered that. "That might be a while."

I shrugged.

"You are a very loyal friend," Yoketron noted. _I have one of those wandering around somewhere…_

He spent a moment thinking about his past. I had picked up bits and pieces of his story over the time he'd taught us. There were many painful things in it, so he didn’t dwell on it often, but the fragments I’d gathered were enough to know that he was a lot more powerful and important than his current career would suggest.

He went back to thinking about teaching us. "Perhaps you're right." _Searchlight has been feeling left out, hasn't he? I suppose I ought to have been paying a more attention to him._ "But once again, I don't know how long that will take."

"We could pra-actice more." I suggested.

Yoketron frowned. "Yes, but I have other things to do. The two of you can practice on your own time, though. I'm sure you have homework and plenty to keep you busy, but if you have some spare time… I'll even give you the code to my classroom and you can practice in there."

I already had the code to his classroom. I nodded anyway.

Searchlight got it. I noticed before Yoketron did, and Searchlight himself didn't even notice until after that. As soon as he noticed though, his audios and optics came back online and he looked up.

"Well?" Yoketron said.

"I think I figured it out." _That wasn’t particularly exciting, but still kind of cool._ "So…"

"Now, you can meditate," Yoketron said. "You should practice that for a while, and maybe in a decaorn, we'll move on to something else."

"You're kidding me. A whole decaorn?"

Yoketron looked at him.

Searchlight sighed. "Okay. I'm sorry." _At least I know he_ will _eventually start teaching me._

"In the meantime, I don't think it would be a bad idea for you two to practice the things we're learning in class on your own." _He doesn't trust me yet, but I'll bet he_ does _trust Soundwave._

Yoketron dismissed us, and we all went back into the building.

The next orn, Yoketron gave me the code to get into his classroom.

But I liked the roof better.

* * *

Over the next decaorn, Searchlight and I went up to the roof to practice almost every orn. Between that, meeting with Yoketron, working with Breeze, and trying to keep up with school, we were all pretty busy.

That was a good thing, though. Searchlight all but forgot that he wanted to do something 'awesome' this term.

He was not very good at Circuit-Su. It wasn't that he was particularly uncoordinated, or that he wasn't trying. He had a hard time focusing though, and he wasn't really good at taking correction either. A lot of the time, he didn't know what he was doing right or wrong.

But he was determined, and he did gradually get better. He was getting better at meditating too, though he still didn't like it and he still thought we did far too much of it.

But, as Yoketron had promised, after a decaorn he started teaching us together. He was disappointed, but not surprised by Searchlight's lack of focus and balance. He wasn't discouraged, though, any more than Searchlight was. He had confidence in his ability to teach, especially since Searchlight was listening to him now, and making progress.

As decaorns passed Searchlight slowly improved, until he could beat Breeze and Ratchet when we were in third joor, and then until he was better than most of the other students in the class.

He wasn't better than me, though.

* * *

I slammed Searchlight to the ground for maybe the twentieth time, and held him there for an astrosecond. Then I stood and offered a hand to help him up.

He took my hand and stood with a sigh. "If you couldn't read minds, I'd totally be able to beat you."

I shook my helm.

"Guess we'll never really know," Searchlight said. _I'll just have to get good enough to beat you anyway._

"Goo-ood luck with tha-at."

Searchlight got into a fighting stance.

"Left pede ba-a-ack."

He slid his pede back a little, scowling.

"Stop."

He stopped.

"Fo-orward a little."

"I can't feel a difference."

There _was_ a difference. _I_ could feel it.

He shifted a little again. Now he was balanced.

"Do-on't break stance," I said, and approached him. He watched me warily.

I shoved him, and he pushed back and stayed upright. I tried a few more times, but he fended me off.

"Move y-your pede fo-orwa-ard."

He did so.

I shoved him again, and he tipped over and stumbled away, falling out of his stance.

I looked at him.

He glared back, defiant for an astrosecond. Then he shrugged. "Okay, you win. There's a difference."

I shifted into a stance.

He attacked.

In half a breem, I had him on the ground again.

The last rays of sunlight disappeared, leaving us in the gloom of dusk. I really had homework I needed to do. And a test to study for. But I liked watching the stars come out, so I didn't mind staying up here for another half a joor or so.

Searchlight got up and we tried again.

With Yoketron, he was mostly doing balancing exercises, which was helping him a lot. And what helped even more was that he could put the techniques he was learning into practice when he fought me. He could _see_ that it was helping.

We kept going until stars dotted the sky, and then I called a halt.

"Five more breems," Searchlight said.

I shook my helm.

"Come on."

I walked toward the door.

_Come on, Five breems isn't that long._

I sighed and turned around. "Fine. Ne-ext orn, we can't pra-acti-i-ice, though."

"How come?"

I was going to have a processor ache. The teachers were asked to let me take tests on my own, but some of them weren't too happy about it. And my test next orn wasn't technically a test, just a really long pop quiz. He hadn't told the class about it yet, so I was pretty sure he wasn't going to make arrangements for me to take it by myself.

At least this sort of thing didn't happen too often anymore.

I just walked back to where he was. "Because."

"That's not an answer."

I shrugged.

"Okay, fine. You will tell me when we're done, though," he got into a fighting stance.

"Right pede o-out a-a little."

 _Seriously? Okay, whatever._ He shifted.

"Re-eady?"

"So ready."

I attacked.

* * *

The next orn, after I was done with classes and training with Yoketron, I retreated to my room instead of going to Searchlight's. Ravage was there, waiting for me. I sat down at my desk and Ravage leaped up onto my shoulders without saying anything. I leaned back slightly.

I ought to use this as an excuse to catch up on all my homework, but maybe I'd give it half a joor first. The test had been in my second to last class, so my processor ache wasn't as bad as it had been, but it was still definitely there.

I vented deeply and turned my screen off.

"Are you okay?" Ravage asked.

"Yes," I said. I even managed not to stutter. Breeze would be so proud.

Even as I thought that, she came into my range.

I sighed again and sat up, turning my screen on again.

The door was unlocked, so she opened it and stepped in.

"Searchlight mentioned you weren't going to train with him this orn," she said. "I thought it might be a good orn to work on talking."

I shook my helm.

"Are you sure?"

"Ve-e-ery sure." I said.

_Are you okay?_

"I too-ook a-a test," I said.

"But…" _He's supposed to take tests by himself._

I shrugged. "I'm fi-ine. Just ti-ired."

"Okay," Breeze said. "Well, come join us if you're feeling up to it later." _If some teacher made you take a test, you should complain to Cablereach._

I nodded.

She left.

I needed to do homework. I really did. I waited for her to get out of my range. Fortunately, the students in the rooms near mine were all gone. Sometimes that happened, especially right after classes.

I got up.

 _What are you doing?_ Ravage wondered as I sat down in the middle of the floor. I had to shift a little because Ravage's weight on my shoulders threw off my balance.

Then I meditated.

I figured if I spent a few breems like this, it would help me focus on my homework. It was kind of tricky with Ravage sending me questioning thoughts, but I managed.

It was too nice, though, and I ended up sitting there for almost twenty breems. Not only did it help with my focus, my processor ache retreated much more quickly than it should have. It was still there, but only a minor distraction now.

Ravage, who'd almost dozed off, started as I stood up and went back to the desk.

"Are you okay?" he asked again.

"I'm okay," I said. "I was just… thi-inking."

Ravage cocked his helm to the side. "Thinking about what?" he asked.

"It's called medi-itating," I said. "It's di-ifferent... you think about your spa-ark."

"Oh," Ravage said. _That seems really boring._

Searchlight would agree with him about that.

I got a datapad out of subspace and started working on my homework.

When I was finished, there was still some time before lights out, so I got Ravage and wandered over to Searchlight's room. He, Breeze, and Ratchet were there, playing a board game on the floor.

Ravage was sorely tempted to jump down and knock over all the pieces, but I put a hand on one of his pedes to let him know that wasn't an option.

_Aw…_

"Hi, 'Wave," Searchlight said.

I nodded and sat in his desk chair to watch. I wondered how they'd convinced Ratchet to join them. He wasn't very engaged in playing, though. He kept thinking about a homework assignment he hadn't completed yet. He also had a datapad open to a file that explained—in long, overcomplicated detail—the rules of the game, which he was trying to read as they played.

Breeze was currently winning, though Searchlight was very close. Ratchet wasn't doing as well but then again, he was distracted.

It was Searchlight's turn. He moved.

Ravage climbed down from my shoulders onto the desk, watching with only mild interest and wondering if he could jump before I could stop him.

Probably not.

The game was nearly over. Maybe Searchlight would let Ravage play with the pieces when they were finished.

It was Breeze's turn. She studied the board, trying to figure out what she could do to win. Despite the fact that she currently had more points, if Searchlight played it right he could end the game in the next few moves, and jump ahead of her. One of Ratchet's pieces was in his way, though, so she figured she was pretty safe moving the piece she wanted to.

She shouldn't have been worried. Searchlight didn't even see the move she was afraid he would make.

It was Ratchet's turn.

He was reading the rules.

"Ratch, move," Searchlight said. "Your turn."

"Oh," Ratchet looked at the board again, then reached for a piece.

I saw what he was going to do but didn't say anything.

He hesitated a moment, but didn't really think his move through before he made it.

He moved the piece that had been blocking Searchlight from winning.

 _No! Don't!_ Breeze stared at him, horrified. _Why would he do that!_

Ratchet glanced at her. _What is her problem?_ He looked back at the board. _Oh… oh, pit, that was a stupid move… he's going to win now._

They both looked at Searchlight.

He was studying the board in a contemplative way, oblivious to the tension in the room.

_He doesn't see it._

_Maybe he won't notice._

Searchlight looked up. _What are they staring at?_ "What?"

Breeze leaned back, trying to look nonchalant.

Ratchet just scowled. "Nothing," he glanced down at the board again. _Just move a piece. Just move a piece..._ "Would you move already?"

 _They're worried about something,_ Searchlight looked down. _What? Ratchet moved that piece… oh…_ A slow smile spread across his faceplate.

 _No!_ Breeze thought. _He saw it! Noooo!_

 _Ugh! If that femme hadn't made a big deal about it, he wouldn't even have noticed!_ Ratchet shot a glare in Breeze's direction.

Searchlight reached for his piece.

And then Ravage landed on the board with a crash, scattering pieces and startling all three of them.

They jumped back.

"Eep!"

"Ack! What…"

" _You slagging cat!_ "

Ravage sat up, curled his tail around his hind pedes and started grooming the plating on one of his front legs.

The others stared at him in shock.

I laughed.

The atmosphere in the room suddenly changed. Ratchet cringed, Breeze's doorwings shot up, and chills went down Searchlight's back plating.

Oops.

Searchlight slowly turned to look at me, wide-opticed. _That was the creepiest thing I have ever heard in my life._ "Do that again," he said quietly.

I looked down.

"That was slagging awesome," Searchlight said. "Laugh again."

"No!" Ratchet got to his pedes. _If I ever hear that sound again it'll be too soon. That's going to give me nightmares._

Breeze took in a deep vent and lowered her doorwings again. _That was interesting… I don't think I've ever heard you laugh before, Soundwave._

"Sorry," I said.

 _That was so cool!_ Searchlight thought. "You could totally scare mecha with that," he said. "Can you imagine hearing that over your shoulder in like a dark alleyway or something?"

Ratchet tensed.

I shook my helm.

"What?" Searchlight said. "It's not _that_ bad." _Really, Wave, that was cool. Can you imagine how much fun it would be to go scare Graycharter or someone?._

"Fun for yo-ou." I said. I would feel their fear. I wouldn't feel it as strongly as _they_ would, but I'd still feel it, the way I'd felt Ratchet's.

 _They'd better not be talking about sneaking up on me,_ Ratchet thought.

"We-e're not." I said.

"Good."

Breeze was a little lost. _It gets kind of confusing when I'm not sure who he's talking to._

 _Okay. You're no fun, you know._ Searchlight looked down at Ravage. "Ravage, did you _have_ to do that?"

"Yes," Ravage leaped at Ratchet, who managed to successfully duck out of the way. Ravage was surprised, but dexterously landed his leap and turned around for a second try.

"Stop it!" Ratchet said as Ravage jumped at him again.

"Well, in any case," Searchlight said. "I totally won."

"Technically…" Breeze said. "I was still in the lead."

I sat back in Searchlight's chair and pulled out a datapad, glad the topic of conversation had changed.

It was almost lights-out so before too long, Breeze and Ravage and I left to go to our own rooms.

I lay on my berth for a while, looking up at the ceiling, thinking. I didn't laugh very often. In fact, the last time I'd done so in anyone's hearing, I had been a first frame youngling. Crescent had locked me in my room for a decaorn and told me if I ever made that noise again, she'd kick me out to wander the streets.

I hoped Searchlight forgot about the whole scaring mecha thing. I was in the business of trying _not_ to freak everyone out, and that was difficult enough already.


	31. Wings

"Hey, Soundwave," Searchlight said on the way to meet with Master Yoketron. "My creators sent me a message earlier this orn. They've got this really difficult symbiont at the shelter, and they're going to have to put it down if it doesn't start cooperating."

I tilted my helm to the side. I already knew what he was going to ask.

"They said they wished you were there, because you were always really good with them. But, we've got a free orn in a couple of orns. I thought maybe we could go visit. Maybe you can help." _The only reason I can see for not going is that I don't have the credit right now for transport tickets._

Searchlight and his creators weren't very financially stable at the moment. They'd had to get a loan to keep him in school this term.

"I'm no-ot _that_ good wi-ith them."

"Oh," Searchlight said. "See, they think it was abused by its previous owner… and it can't talk."

That was a different story.

_I mean, you'd have to be careful not to let anyone know you can actually communicate with it. I don't know if it can hear or not, they didn't specify, but at least you'd know what was wrong with it._

I nodded. "We-e can go."

"Okay. Could you…" _I don't have the credit to get us there._

"I can pa-ay," I said.

"Thanks, mech." _I'll tell them we'll come and see if we can help._

I shrugged. It was no big deal, and I loved being at the shelter anyway. This was just a good excuse.

* * *

I was getting used to the mass transit ride between Kalis and Iacon. The length was familiar, and it felt comfortably like going home. Part of that was because it felt that way to Searchlight and I was picking up on his emotions. But another part came from my own core.

It was still kind of strange to feel like I had a home.

And it wasn't really my home, just the closest thing I had, but it was a good feeling.

Instead of stopping at Searchlight's creators' apartment, we headed straight for the symbiont shelter. Ravage leaped off of my shoulders as we entered the building.

Goldsky smiled at us. "Hey, you really showed up," she said. "How are you two doing?"

"Good," Searchlight answered for both of us and we walked past the front desk and to the large room where all the symbionts were.

I immediately knew which one was the troublemaker. I could feel its fear and anger. It—she—didn't like being in a cage, didn't like being so close to other symbionts, and especially didn't like mecha.

Keepsake and Lakes were talking quietly in the other corner of the room, but they looked up when we came in. Keepsake rushed over to embrace Searchlight, then pulled me into a quick hug too. "Thank you so much for coming," she said. "If anyone can get this poor symbiont to cooperate, it's you, Soundwave."

The symbiont heard, but didn't seem to think much of the comment. _They'd better all keep away. I don't want any of them near me._

"We're pretty sure she's female," Lakes said. "And her previous owners really abused her. She's kind of savage." _She tore a pretty deep gouge in my arm with those claws of hers._ "And she tries to escape too, and will only sometimes take energon." _I don't want him to feel bad if he can't get her to behave._ "As far as we know, she doesn't understand us, and she seems completely insane. So I want you to be careful. Don't just open the cage, she'll try to get away. And she can fly, so catching her again would be hard."

I nodded.

"Personally, I don't think there's anything we can do. We've had her for more than a decaorn now and she hasn't calmed down at all. But I've seen you work magic with the symbionts before, so go do your thing, mechling."

I nodded again, and turned to look at the symbiont.

She was paying enough attention to know what was going on, and she backed As far away as possible, which wasn't very far because she was taking up most of the horizontal space in the cage. It was really the wrong kind of cage for a symbiont like her. She didn't have much mobility. She needed some sort of perch.

She wasn't a bird exactly. She was something more exotic, with stiff, flat wings and a single, dimly-glowing optic. She was a big symbiont, though not quite as big as Ravage. I'd never seen one like her before. She was majestic… she was also low on fuel, and needed to recharge, but rage and terror kept her conscious.

So I just stood there for a breem or two barely far enough away to keep her from panicking, while the others went back to what they were doing. Searchlight helped them as Keepsake quizzed him on how school was going.

Now that I was here, I was worried too. This symbiont _did_ seem kind of berserk, but she could still understand us so there was some hope.

Ravage watched me curiously as I walked right up to the cage. It was a higher-up one, about level with my screen.

The symbiont in the cage didn't like Ravage. She didn't like how close I was standing. She didn't like _anything._

"Hey," I said quietly. "The mecha he-ere are goo-ood. They wo-on't hurt you."

She didn't believe me.

Memories played through her processor, full of pain and hunger and violence. I couldn't help stiffening as she relived some of the things that her previous owners had put her through.

She saw my motion and it frightened her more.

"Y-you're a good sy-ymbio-ot," I said even more softly.

_I am not! I hate you! I hate everyone! Go away! Don't hurt me!_

"I'm so so-orry."

She tried to growl at me, but her voice box didn't work, so she flapped her wings threateningly, then panicked when one wing hit the wall of the cage. I held still, waiting for her to calm down. I knew any motion would alarm her further. Eventually, she went still again. I waited another breem before speaking again.

"I ca-an't really ta-a-alk well either," I said.

_I don't care! Get away from me!_

But there wasn't quite as much force behind the thought. So I waited. I was pretty sure I could get her to calm down eventually, but I didn't have enough time to really train her, not with school. I wished she had shown up during the break.

"I-I need y-you to trust me," I said to her, as quietly as I could.

Lakes looked at me. He wondered what I was thinking, and hoped I didn't do anything stupid. He also hoped for a miracle, because he'd tried everything he could. He was starting to think it might be kinder to put this symbiont out of her misery.

"Y-you know what will happe-en if you keep fi-ighting the-e-em?"

She shuddered. She knew.

"I-it's okay tha-at you can't ta-alk." I said. I had an idea. Under all the panic, she seemed very intelligent.

"Lakes, do you kno-ow what her designation i-is?" I said.

"Nope," Lakes said. "We have no clue, and she can't tell us, obviously."

"Can I gi-ive her one?"

_Laserbeak. It's Laserbeak. I don't want a different designation. I hate all of these mecha, especially this one with no face. This one thinks I'll trust him. He's wrong! I'll get him if he comes too close._

I pretended to think about it for a breem or so. "I think we-e'll call you…" If only the name wasn't so long. I tried really hard not to stutter. "Laserbea-ak."

She was startled. _How does he know my designation?_ She tried to remember if she'd ever seen me before. She was suddenly worried that I knew her previous owner. She froze.

"I he-ear you," I said, then for the benefit of the adults in the room "It's pro-obably no-ot the same a-as your old desi-ignation."

Now she was a little confused. _He couldn't have guessed. How does he know?_

I let her think about it for a breem. The thinking was a good sign. She was a little calmer and more logical. And that convinced me completely that she wasn't crazy, just hurt and scared.

"I'm a frie-end, I-I promise," I said.

_He really doesn't talk normally… but he's not a friend. He's trying to trick me. He's going to hurt me. Stay back! Stay back, help, I can't get out of here, I'm cornered…._

I waited for her to calm down a little. The next thing I was going to do would probably freak her out even more, but she had to see that I was serious about this friends business. "I-it's ok to-o-o be a-afraid." I was a little nervous at this point too. "Mecha hu-urt you, didn't they?"

They had.

"Bu-ut we won't hu-urt you here. No matter wha-at."

_They're going to kill me._

"The-ey're no-o-ot going to-o do a-a-anything to y-you."

The emotion in my core was making my stutter worse. Unlike Ravage who had been all right, if not particularly happy living on the streets, this symbiont had been purposefully harmed. She did not deserve to die for that. I would not let that happen.

I slowly brought my hand up and moved it toward the bars of the cage.

"Soundwave…" Lakes said, with a warning in his voice. _That thing will attack him._

"It's o-okay," I said, both to him and to Laserbeak.

I rested my hand against the cage bars, and waited.

Laserbeak shied away at first, afraid. Then the anger kicked in and she lunged forward. I braced myself.

Her claws dug deep into my palm and I had to fight hard not to cry out or move my hand. I leaned against the cage a little, as I felt one drop of energon roll down to my wrist.

Ravage hissed, but didn't move. Fortunately, though he wasn't happy about it, he understood what was going on. He had sort of done the same thing the first time I'd met him.

"Soundwave," Lakes took a step toward me. They were all watching me now. Laserbeak noticed Lakes approaching and dug her claws in deeper. I held up my free hand to warn Lakes back.

"See," I said, still trying to speak softly. "It's o-okay."

_I don't trust you._

"You ca-an trust me-e."

She didn't take her claws out of my hand, but she did pause to think.

I chose my words carefully. "I unde-ersta-and."

She stared at my screen. _Understand what? How could he understand? It’s almost like… like he knows what I’m thinking._

Perfect. "Y-yes, it's o-okay," I said, trying to make it sound like I was still just attempting to calm her down, not having a back and forth conversation.

Finally, she pulled her claws out of my hand and retreated to the back of the cage. _How? I still can't trust you. I still don't like you… but you can hear me… right? Or was that just luck that you said that?_

I'd have to talk to her alone sometime.

_But he knew my designation._

"Soundwave," Lakes said again.

I pulled my throbbing hand away from the bars and studied it. It had two gashes in it, both deep enough to cut energon lines. It was dripping on the ground.

"I warned you," Lakes said. "Let me see that."

I shrugged and held out the hand to him. He took it gently, but it still sent a spike of pain shooting up my arm and I winced.

"Oh, Soundwave…" Keepsake said. _That looks pretty bad…_

"I-it's fine," I said.

"I told you that symbiont is wild," Lakes said.

"I wa-ant her," I told him.

"No," Lakes said.

"Yes."

He looked at me, raising both optic ridges. "She just practically ripped your hand off. You might want a real medic for this, by the way."

I shook my helm. "Y-you can fix i-it." He was a good medic. Just because he specialized in symbionts didn't mean he wasn't qualified to fix my hand, though Ratchet might argue on that point if he were here.

"Okay," Lakes said, and led me over to the table.

Laserbeak was significantly less panicked now. That was a good sign. For the first time in orns, she had something to think about besides how much she hated everyone and how scared she was that they would hurt her.

"Wait," I said, pulling my hand away from Lakes. "One bree-eem," I went over to where they kept the energon and got out a cube. I took it over to Laserbeak's cage. She got a little panicky when I got closer, but it wasn't so bad anymore. The smell of my energon had reminded her of how hungry she was. Maybe she was calm enough to eat. I waited to unlatch the cage of the door until she was a bit calmer. As soon as I opened it a little, her panic came back, and on top of it, there was the prospect of being free. I held the door mostly closed with one arm while I slipped the energon in with my uninjured hand, then shut the door again. I got another couple of gashes, but they didn't go deep enough in the mesh on my arm to leak. They still hurt, but not as badly as my hand.

Laserbeak retreated again, but came forward after half a breem for the energon.

"Well," Lakes said. _Would you look at that? She's still pretty vicious, though._ "That's an impressive improvement. Can I fix your hand now?"

I nodded and went back to the table. I paid close attention to Laserbeak as Lakes repaired my hand. When she was done with the energon, she was very tired, but it still took her a few breems before she slipped into recharge. She woke again whenever one of the other symbionts made even a medium-volume noise. Still jumpy, but at least she was kind of recharging.

"There you go," Lakes said, when he was finished. "You're done."

"Do-on't offline her," I pled quietly, looking down at my hand. "I _do-o_ want he-er."

"Okay," Lakes said. "We won't do anything yet."

"I ca-an come back o-on free-ee o-orns…"

"Very well," Lakes said. "If you can tame her, you can have her."

I nodded. I was confident that I'd be able to tame her. My only problem would be finding somewhere for her to stay, because I could _not_ keep this symbiont in my room at school. Keepsake and Cam might offer to take her in like they had the twins, but I wasn't going to ask them to.

Ravage jumped up on my shoulders and put his helm against mine, feeling protective. It had taken a lot of self control not to try and attack Laserbeak for clawing me. He was a good cat. I was so lucky.

 _I don't want that bird thing,_ Ravage said. _She doesn't seem really nice. And I won't let her keep attacking you._

She would get better.

Searchlight and I hung around for another several joors to help at the shelter. Cam showed up after a while. Then we left and headed back to school. We both had homework, and we'd probably want to put in a joor or so of circuit-su practice if we had time.

I couldn't stop thinking about that symbiont, though, all the way home. She wasn't crazy, like Lakes thought. I wasn't going to give up on her.

* * *

"Good," Yoketron said. "Again."

We switched roles. Searchlight was on the offensive now. I blocked two attacks, then caught his arm and tried to throw him off-balance, but pain lanced up my arm and I gasped and stumbled back, breaking stance. Searchlight almost knocked me over, but then stopped, realizing something was wrong.

The pain retreated. I'd thought it was fine, but apparently my systems weren't quite done integrating the repairs Lakes had done yet.

"Soundwave?" Yoketron said. _Did he hurt his hand?_

"I hurt my ha-and last o-orn," I said. "It's no-ot bad."

"Did you see a medic about it?" _That looked painful._

I nodded.

"I'm really sorry," Searchlight said.

I shrugged, and got back into stance.

He hesitated. _You sure, mech? I don't want to hurt you._

I nodded.

He attacked.

Yoketron watched us thoughtfully, noting how Searchlight was being careful of my hand. He wasn't sure whether to feel impressed or exasperated. Eventually, he settled on amused. After a breem, when we were still fighting, Yoketron called a halt.

"Searchlight," he said with a small smile. "It's very noble of you to try not to hurt Soundwave's hand, but you're compromising your own ability to fight. Besides, one normally exploits the weaknesses of his opponent."

Searchlight raised an optic ridge. "You're mad at me for being a good person?"

"No," Yoketron said. "I'm actually quite pleased. I apologize for my assumption at the beginning of the term that you wanted to learn to fight in order to hurt or have power over anyone. You have a good spark, and I'm honored to be your teacher. But I would still like you to do your best."

Then he turned to me. "Soundwave, do you know why that round took so long? You were fighting for almost a breem."

I did know but I didn't say anything.

"You don't need to go easy on him," Yoketron said. "And even when you're taking a defensive role, you should still be looking for an opportunity to defeat your opponent."

 _We aren't opponents,_ Searchlight thought. _We're friends._

Yoketron knew that.

 _But you should still not go easy on me. I'm never going to get better than you if you go easy on me._ He glanced at me, then attacked. I casually stepped out of the way, and shoved him to the ground.

"Tha-at better?" I said to Yoketron.

 _Shut up._ Searchlight got to his knees.

Did he really think he was ever going to be able to sneak up on me?

Yoketron shook his helm. "That, on the other hand Searchlight, _was_ dishonorable. Attacking from behind without warning…"

"If he was distracted," Searchlight said. "Then that was a weakness, right? So I'm just exploiting a potential weakness… of course, he wasn't distracted, so he beat me."

"Which was in part because you were off-balance. You didn't plan that attack very well," Yoketron said. "Now, I'd like you to try again with Searchlight on the defensive this time."

* * *

The next free orn, I went by myself to the symbiont shelter. I had some credit, but not enough to bring Searchlight every time. He felt kind of left out, but he understood. I left Ravage with him for the orn. They could go to the park. I wasn't completely comfortable with that because of that one creepy mech who'd wanted to kidnap Ravage, but we'd been to the park several times since then, and he'd never been there again.

I'd come earlier this time, and I'd brought my homework so I could do it while I was here. If it was possible, I'd like to be able to let Laserbeak out. Maybe she and I could go sit in the storage room or something, away from the other symbionts and mecha, where she could fly around a little.

Of course, that might have to wait a few decaorns. I didn't know if I'd be able to let her out yet.

She was doing better. I could tell even before I got into the room.

"Soundwave!" Lakes said when he saw me. "How are you?"

I nodded. Keepsake smiled at me from across the room and Cam nodded in my direction.

"Laserbeak's doing really well," Lakes said. "I was kind of skeptical about the designation, but she seems to respond to it. We're certain she can understand us now, and she's been eating more, especially once we assured her that you were coming back." _I don't know how he did it. Before he came, she was completely wild._

She perked up when she saw me. She wasn’t exactly feeling friendly, but she didn’t hate me anymore. And she was kind of interested in finding out whether or not I could actually understand her thoughts.

I turned and approached her cage slowly, trying not to frighten her. She was still a little afraid of me, but her systems were running better now that she was getting more fuel, and that helped her think more clearly.

She came up to the cage bars as I approached, flaring her wings aggressively.

 _I will cut you open again if you get too close,_ she warned.

"She's still pretty feisty, though," Lakes said. "I don't know if I'd stick your fingers in there or anything."

I nodded to show him I understood. Then I waited a breem or so, until she'd stopped mentally threatening me.

"I be-et you want to co-ome out," I said.

She did. She hated being shut up in such a small cage.

"If you do-on't hurt me, I'll le-et y-you come out."

She glared at me. _Don't come near me… I don't like you…. but I do want out of this cage. Maybe I can play nice and then attack as soon as he lets me out._

Well, at least she was considering not attacking me while she was still in the cage. That was a start. I let her think about it for a bit, then cautiously rested my fingers on the cage bars. She backed away, but kept watching me. I inserted my fingers between the bars and left them there. She wanted to claw at them, but held herself back, hoping that she could convince me to let her out. She didn't think about the fact that I could hear her thoughts.

I just left my fingers in there for a while. Part of me wanted to open the cage a little, and reach inside, but I got the feeling she didn't want to be touched. Hopefully she'd get used to me enough that she didn't mind, but for now I didn't want to push her too hard.

I got a datapad out of subspace and used one hand to type in answers on a worksheet that was due the next orn. Eventually, Laserbeak moved back toward the middle of the cage. She watched my fingers warily, though, ready to attack if I tried anything.

I waited until she got impatient. _Hey! Can you hear this? You said you'd let me out if I didn't hurt you. I didn't hurt you."_

I finished my worksheet and subspaced the datapad, then turned my full attention to Laserbeak. "Okay," I said. "He-ere's how this wo-orks. I'll let you o-out and you ca-an fly fo-or a while, but then y-you have to go-o back in the ca-age."

She glared at me. _Never. Never again._

"I want to come out!" another one of the symbionts said. They all started clamoring for my attention, promising that they'd be good and go back in their cages when they needed to. The noise bothered Laserbeak and she almost decided to attack my fingers. I hoped she wouldn't because then I wouldn't be able to let her out and she'd have to stay in there for another decaorn. I had to let her know I would really follow through with what I said, or she wouldn't respect me enough to do what I asked in the future.

I waited for the noise to die down and for Laserbeak to be listening to me again.

"If you a-attack me o-or anyone else, then I wo-on't let you out ne-ext time I-I come."

_He won't be able to get me back into the cage if I put up a fight. I won't let them put me in this tiny little prison again._

"De-eal?" I said.

She looked at me. _He probably knows what I'm planning. He wants me to agree with him._

"I want to le-et you out," I said. "Bu-ut you have to be-ehave."

_If I don't agree to do what he wants, then he won't let me out…_

She might think she wanted to escape, but she had not been built for fighting or scavenging like my other symbionts. She _was_ tough, but not in the way she'd need to be if she was going to survive the streets. I didn't think she'd believe me if I explained that to her, though.

I went to the door so I could shut and lock it, and then went back to Laserbeak's cage. Lakes had just finished giving another symbiont a check-up, and I waited for him to put it back in its cage.

"Deal?" I said again.

She looked at me. Then, grudgingly admitted defeat. _Deal._

I unlatched the cage and let the door swing open.

Laserbeak burst out and soared around the room a couple of times before flying up as high as she could. She flipped upside down and latched onto the ceiling where she hung, watching all of us. It was kind of weird to see myself standing upside down from her perspective.

I went over to the supply cabinet and got a rag and some solvent. There was energon residue in her cage from times she'd spilled it while they'd been trying to give it to her. I cleaned it out, and then got her a new cube of energon, which I put in the back corner. If she wanted to eat, she'd have to go back in there.

Laserbeak left the ceiling and flew around some more. She dive-bombed Cam, who ducked. Then she skimmed low over Lakes' worktable and knocked everything off of it with her wings, before flying up by the ceiling again. She circled, feeling slightly better, but still hating everything in general.

It would be hard to get her down from the ceiling if she didn't want us to.

Oh well.

I sat off to the side and did more homework. Lakes got down and picked up the things Laserbeak had pushed onto the floor. He decided to put them away in the cupboard rather than put them back where she could knock them over again.

The flying symbiont eventually settled up in a corner, then got bored and started swooping down at us again. I realized I should probably have specified an amount of time we'd let her out. Lakes cautiously went back to what he'd been doing before, taking the symbionts out one by one, checking their vitals, testing their reflexes and making sure they were all healthy. Keepsake and Cam helped him, cleaned cages, and chatted quietly. Laserbeak slipped into recharge, still hanging on the wall. That seemed to be a lot more comfortable for her than the cage, and she felt safer up there.

Eventually, Lakes finished. "Soundwave," he said. "I'm going to leave soon, so we should probably put her away." He jerked his helm in Laserbeak's direction. "Not that you and Keepsake and Cam can't handle her, but I don't want to open the door and risk her flying out."

I nodded.

"I have a net you can probably get her with," Lakes said. "But I don't think she'll like that."

It would probably be necessary.

I nodded.

"We also have a ladder." Cam pointed to the corner of the room.

"I don't know if I want you climbing up there, though. I can do it." Lakes said.

"Wait," I said.

Laserbeak had heard us talking about her, and was online again, and listening.

"La-aserbeak," I looked up at her. "I-If you go ba-ack in your ca-age now, then I-I'll let you out ne-ext time." I took in a deep vent. Two more sentences. "If no-ot, I won't. Y-you have one bree-eem."

_I am never going back in that cage. You can't make me. You won't be able to catch me, even with a ladder and a net. I'll just fly to the other side of the room._

I let her think about it for a breem, and was disappointed, but not surprised when she decided she'd rather force us to chase her around. She seemed to think we wouldn't be able to catch her, but that was kind of ridiculous. It might take a while, but we were in an enclosed space here, and there were four of us.

Lakes got me the net and Cam got the ladder out of the corner of the room and set it up. Laserbeak flew to the other side of the room.

"We're going to need to coordinate this," Lakes said. I held out my hand for the net. I knew this would be a step backward, but I _had_ warned her and she _had_ understood, and we weren't going to hurt her.

The other symbionts watched as we chased Laserbeak back and forth across the room. Most were amused. Some were rooting for the flying symbiont, and some cheered for us.

"Catch her!"

"Don't let her get away!"

"Fly! Don't let them get you!"

"Knock her out of the sky!"

Eventually, we caught her. Lakes chased her out of the corner and she flew just low enough for me to snag her with the net. She tried to dodge, but dodging me was almost as tricky as sneaking up behind me.

She struggled frantically and made another couple of gouges in my arms before I managed to get her back into her cage and close the door. Once she had had a breem or so to calm down, she was no longer scared, just angry.

I was glad she'd had a chance to fly around for a while, though. That would probably help her mood in the future, and hopefully next time we let her out she'd be willing to go back in when it was time.

"There you go," Lakes said. "Like Soundwave said. Next time he comes, we won't be able to let you out, but if you're good until then, maybe you can come out the time after that."

 _It's not fair! I shouldn't be here. I hate this place! It's so crowded and noisy and all of you are so annoying and I hate this cage and I hate mecha._ She glanced at the cube of energon that was in the cage. She'd drink it, once she wasn't feeling so frustrated.

"Now," Lakes said. "Let me see your arms. I shouldn't have given you the net, I knew you'd do something like this." _That was a lot less dramatic than the last time we had to put her in the cage, though._ "Good work, anyway. You know, I'd suggest you work here if I didn't happen to know the pay's lousy,"

I went over to the table to let him work on my scratched-up arm.

* * *

Everyone was waiting in Searchlight's room when I got there.

"Hey!" Searchlight said. "You missed an awesome orn at the park."

I shrugged and sat down. Ravage leaped up onto my shoulders, feeling very glad to see me. I reached up and stroked the plating behind his audios.

"Awesome is not the word I'd use," Ratchet said.

"Eventful?" Breeze suggested, looking up from the datapad she was drawing on.

"More like stressful," Ratchet said.

From the collective memories I was getting from all of them, it had involved a large group of younglings and fledglings playing capture the flag, and there'd been a lot of chasing and tackling and some youngling had fallen off of something high, but hadn't been badly hurt. Ratchet still wasn't happy about it.

"Exciting?" Breeze said.

"Just stick with awesome," Searchlight said.

"Hey, Soundwave, I want to practice talking with you," Breeze said.

I vented a sigh.

She got up, and left the room and I followed her. We went to my room, where I put a cube of energon on the desk for Ravage—Lakes had insisted I take some for him, as well as a couple of energon treats.

Ravage leaped off of my shoulders and I let Breeze sit in my chair.

"You're getting better," she said. "When you actually try. I don't think you're actually trying very often, though."

I shrugged. Why bother?

"Meditate for a few breems, and then we can talk about something," she said. "Okay?"

I nodded, and sat on my berth to meditate. She went back to doodling for a few breems. She was drawing a picture of Ravage jumping on Ratchet. Ravage snickered when he saw it, and stuck his helm over her shoulder, bumping into her doorwing as he did so. She jumped a little and made a mark on the picture she hadn't meant to.

"Ravage," she whispered reproachfully.

"Sorry," he pulled back and sat on the desk, feeling frustrated because that doorwing was blocking his view of her drawing.

I looked up. Most mecha could just turn their audios off to avoid noise when they were meditating.

Not me. "I'll still ha-ate talking," I said. "Even if I get be-ette-er at it."

Breeze shook her helm "You won't hate it as much. Now try saying that again."

I took a deep vent and focused, not on the words themselves, but what I wanted to convey through them. "I'll sti-ill…" I huffed and shook my helm.

"Try again."

"I'll still hate talking," I said. "E-even if I get bette-er at it."

_I think he just doesn't like mecha paying attention to him… and they'll pay less attention to you if you don't stutter, you know, Soundwave._

I looked at her.

She raised an optic ridge. _Don't just be sarcastic at me. Talk._

"What if I just sto-opped talking. A-and refu-used to talk ever again?"

Breeze considered that thoughtfully. "Well…" she said. "Once you have internal communications, you could just comm. everyone if you want to say something to them. I doubt that your internal comms will have a stutter. Then again, they might… that would be weird…"

Ravage curled up on the desk with a yawn. _I'd be sad if you stopped talking,_ he thought. _You'd have to type everything out to explain things to me and I don't like reading._

"…but even so, that would probably be kind of frustrating for you. You do _want_ to say things every once in a while, don't you?"

"I guess."

"And no one said you have to like talking. Or that just because you don't have a stutter you'll have to talk more than you did before. It'll just be easier when you _do_ need to talk." _He won't be able to use it as an excuse not to talk anymore. But that probably won't change much._ "And as much as you complain, you are improving."

"Sort of."

"So, what did you do this orn?"

"Got attacked by-y a symbi-iot."

Breeze tilted her helm to the side.

"Well, she didn't re-eally attack me."

"I think you can say that whole sentence without stuttering."

Ok, fine. I made my voice monotone. "Well, she didn't really attack me."

She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. We both knew that wasn't what she had meant.

I tried again. "Well, she di-idn't… Well, she didn't really attack me."

"I remember when you and Searchlight did a project, and you recorded yourself talking and played it back. You must have gotten some pretty long phrases in without stuttering."

"It was good editing," I said. "And re-eading out lo-oud is easier." And no one had been paying attention to me and analyzing every word coming out of my voice box.

Breeze nodded. "Okay, Go on with your story. You got attacked by a symbiont… but not exactly." _I assume it was that one Searchlight was talking about the other orn._

I nodded. "We let her out," I said. "The cage she's in i-is too small for her."

Breeze nodded. "Searchlight said you want to keep her. That would be cool. Do you think you'd bring her here?"

"No." I shook my helm. "Not yet at le-east."

"So what are you going to do?"

I shrugged. "I'll figure so-omething out." I didn't have enough credit for a nice cage that I could leave at Keepsake and Cam's house, especially if I was going to buy transit tickets every time we had an orn off school. And it might take a long time before Laserbeak was well-behaved enough to be a free range symbiont. She'd have to get to the point where she trusted Keepsake and Cam enough to listen to them. I also didn't think she'd get along really well with the twins, or Ravage. But maybe once she was tamer...

_He always stutters at least once. It's like he feels as if he has to._

"And I know y-you have to-o ana-alyze me," I said. "But re-eally? You re-eally think I'm stu-utteri-ing on purpo-ose?"

"Sorry," Breeze said. _I didn't mean that. I'm really sorry._

And of course the fact that she felt bad made me feel bad too. "It's okay," I said.

"Do you want to go on with what you were saying?"

"No. I'm ti-ired of talki-ing."

"Okay, then meditate for a few breems, and we'll try some more." She took her datapad off of my desk where she'd set it and started doodling again.

I sighed, but turned off my screen and tried again to meditate.


	32. Missing

Decaorns passed. I went and visited Laserbeak whenever I could. The third time, as I had promised, I talked to her but didn't let her out of her cage. After that, she was a lot better behaved, and would go back in when it was time for me to leave. As time went on, she would occasionally come and perch on my arm, though she was still kind of jumpy and she scratched me once or twice. After a while, it even got to the point where they could occasionally get her out when I wasn't there. That was good. She still had a grudge against Lakes for whatever reason, and she hated Goldsky and was terrified of Cam, but she liked Keepsake.

Granted, it was kind of hard not to like Keepsake.

Other things progressed as well. My stutter improved over time, thanks to Breeze. However, unlike she'd said, mecha _did_ expect me to talk more once it was easier for me to talk. Especially Breeze—she wanted me to talk all the time. I went along with it for the most part, and promised myself that once I could talk without stuttering, I'd stop talking again.

Circuit-Su was getting more interesting. Searchlight was getting better. He still wasn't as good as I was, but he was almost to the point where we'd be evenly matched if I couldn't read his processor. I didn't think he'd ever actually beat me though. We were far enough ahead of the main class by now that Yoketron usually just had us spar each other or walk around and help the other students during class. Searchlight didn't like that very much—he sometimes had a hard time explaining things—but I actually sort of liked teaching. If only it didn't involve so much talking…

My range was still expanding. Usually I could distract myself from thinking about it, but not always. Even if I sat in the very center of a classroom, I could always hear the processors of a few of the students in the classes around us. And every once in a while, I came back to my room with a processor ache, even when there hadn't been a test or an assembly or anything on the list of things that normally gave me a processor ache.

It still wasn't as bad as it had been back when I'd been taking tests all the time, and I'd had a couple of upgrades since then, which helped, but I knew it would catch up with me eventually, no matter what I did.

For now, though, I could pretend.

* * *

Laserbeak flew around in lazy circles over my helm, casting shadows across the dusty storage room with the light from her single red optic. I sat on a stack of crates, doing my homework. Maybe I should have been paying attention to the symbiont, but I had to get homework done and, for the most part, she cared more about a chance to stretch her wings than a chance to interact with anyone.

Eventually she got tired and came down to land on my helm. I braced myself for the impact. She liked crashing into mecha. It made her feel very satisfied—almost happy. I hadn't told her not to yet because it didn't bother me that much and there weren't many things that made her happy.

Even though I was ready, she knocked me forward a little when she landed, and I winced as she grabbed onto my helm with her claws. Then I raised an arm so she could climb on that instead.

 _Can we go out of this building some time?_ she asked, buzzing her wings slightly.

"Eventually," I said. "When I-I'm convinced you won't fly awa-ay."

She glared at me. _It's not fair that you know I'm going to fly away._

"At least I can unde-erstand you," I pointed out.

She was still upset that she couldn't talk. When they'd confiscated her from her previous owners, she'd been badly injured. Lakes had fixed her up, but he hadn't been able to do anything about her voice box. Voice boxes were kind of tricky, apparently.

 _I am glad that you can understand me._ She thought at length. _But I still don't like you._

"You don't hate me," I said.

_Don't hate you, no. Don't really like you either. I don't like anyone._

I reached out with my free hand, and ran a finger along the edge of one of her wings gently. She flinched, but didn't fly away, so I did it again and she relaxed a little bit, and let me stroke her wings for half a breem before deciding she'd had enough and flying up to the ceiling.

I went back to my homework, but Laserbeak started thinking about another escape attempt, and I decided I should probably try to talk her out of it.

"If you fly away, you still wo-on't be free," I said.

_What do you mean?_

"If I took y-you outside, you'd fly a-away," I said. "And then you wo-ouldn't have any way to get energo-on and you'd starve."

She mulled that over in her processor. She realized I was right, which made her really angry, and she flew down to smack into me. I held up an arm to block her from hitting my screen, and she swerved away at the last instant and attached herself to the wall, feeling resentful.

"Lakes sa-aid I could have y-you if I tamed you."

_I don't want to belong to anyone._

"Your other option i-is to stay here," I said. "If y-you eventua-ally come with me, I'll feed you, and ma-ake sure you're safe."

She growled softly.

"Some orn I'll bri-ing my other sy-ymbio-ots so you can meet them."

_I won't like them either. Was that cat one of them? It was far too big. I don't want to go near that thing. If you bring it here, I won't behave._

"He's really nice," I said. "He wo-on't hurt you. And neither will I. Eve-er. I promise."

She considered that. For the first time, she came close to believing me. She'd been treated well since coming to the shelter, and she had no reason to believe we'd hurt her, but still she was scared. It was hard for something like that to just go away, and it would only take one impatient mistake to send her back to where she'd been in the beginning.

But she was starting to at least consider trusting me. As long as I stayed worthy of that trust, we'd keep making progress.

After another few joors, I got up and let Laserbeak know it was time to go back. She obediently sat on my hand all the way through the symbiont shelter and climbed into her cage.

I shut the barred door. "I'll co-ome back as soon as I can."

_I know. It's never soon enough._

"If you're good for the o-others, they'll le-et you out."

_But it's not the same when it's not you. They don't understand me. You're the only one who knows what I want to say._

That was true.

I waved goodbye to Keepsake, Cam, and Lakes, and headed back to school. I was almost entirely out of credit. I'd need to figure out what to do so I could keep coming here. I could ask Breeze—her creators sometimes sent her credit—but I didn't want to do that. And I was pretty sure Crescent wouldn't give me anything if I asked her. She had to be in a really good mood for that sort of thing. The only reason I _had_ credit was that I'd never used it on the rare occasions when she gave me some.

It was getting dark by the time the transit pulled into the station, and I walked back to the school as the stars came out.

I had been gone all orn, and Ravage would probably be resentful about that, but happy to see me. I wondered what they’d done together. Usually I didn't mind being left out, but it was kind of sad that I was missing some of their adventures.

I got to the school, and came in the front gates. Lights-out was only in a joor and a half.

As soon as my range covered Searchlight's room, I knew something was wrong.

I slowed as I neared the door, listening to the powerful anxiety the three of them were feeling, trying to figure out what the problem was.

Then I picked up on it and froze, just outside the door.

No.

I couldn't move. I couldn't go in there and force them to explain what had happened. But I couldn't leave either. So I just stood there, listening to them wait for me to show up.

I was there for several breems. Eventually, Ratchet got up and came to the door. "He ought to be back by now," he said. "We need to find out where he is."

"What are you doing?" Searchlight asked.

Ratchet opened the door, saw me, and jumped. "Soundwave…"

I looked down.

Painful silence filled the room for a moment while they wondered how long I had been standing there.

"It's my fault," Searchlight said, getting up from where he'd been sitting on his berth, and crossing the room quickly to stand in front of me. "I should have been paying attention. If you're mad, be mad at me."

 _Oh, Soundwave, we're so sorry…_ Breeze thought.

"I'm so sorry," Searchlight said.

They'd gone to the park. They'd brought Ravage with them.

They hadn't brought Ravage back.

They didn't need to say anything out loud. He'd gone missing and they'd stayed out there to look for him. They'd searched everywhere they could think of as the sun set and the stars came out. And then they'd given up, and had only gotten back to the room ten or fifteen breems before I had gotten here.

I shook my helm, then turned and walked back the way I'd come. Searchlight chased after me.

"Soundwave!"

I was tempted to run, but stopped instead, refusing to look at him. This didn't feel real.

"'Wave," he said again. "We can't do anything now. We'll look for him again next orn."

I shook my helm. Ravage was missing. He could be hurt. He could be offline. That mech from before could have taken him. Anything could be happening to him. We needed to find him now.

_Stay calm, mech, you can't do anything stupid._

"Y-you do stupid-id thi-ings all the-e-e time," I said. My voice sounded strange in my audios.

"I know," Searchlight said. _Don't expand your range, please, mech, you'll just hurt yourself. We looked for him and we couldn't find him. We'll look again next orn, I promise._ "We'll find him, I promise. Just not right now." _I'm so sorry._

It wasn't his fault.

I should have been here. I shouldn't have left Ravage with them. I should have been more careful.

"Mech," Searchlight said.

Ravage was gone.

This city was so big.

He could be anywhere.

He could be dead.

Some part of my processor recognized that Searchlight was right, and that going out to look for him this off-cycle was useless. Another part of me was afraid that the longer we waited, the farther out of reach Ravage would be.

Searchlight was still watching me, worried, guilty, miserable.

I turned around and pushed past him, walking toward my room now. He and the others followed me, not sure what to say. They all wanted to apologize—as if an apology would change anything. They wanted to do something, to help me. I just wanted them to go away.

Searchlight tried to talk to me again, when we got to my room, but I just shut the door and locked it, then went and curled up in the corner, feeling sick, waiting for them to leave.

It took a few breems, but they went. Searchlight was tempted to stay by my door, just in case, but Breeze talked him out of it.

And then I was all alone.

* * *

I went to Searchlight's room the next orn before classes. He and Ratchet were still there, getting ready for the orn. Ratchet was re-checking all of his homework, making sure he had it done properly, and Searchlight was just sitting on his berth, wondering if we'd be able to find Ravage or not.

I tapped the entry request button and waited while he came and opened the door for me.

 _Soundwave._ "Hey, mech…"

"I'm go-oing to look fo-or Rava-age."

Searchlight frowned. "Uh…. Right now?"

I nodded. "Now."

 _If we skip school…_ "I don't know how long it's going to take to find him. If we get in trouble now, they might stop us from looking later."

He didn't want to come. I couldn't believe it. "Si-ince when do-o y-you care a-abo-out ge-etting in tro-ouble?"

"I don't," Searchlight said. "I don't fragging care about going to class, I just…" _Don't want to see you hurt, don't want to make this worse. I get us into so much trouble… and I can't afford to get kicked out of school… but if this is what will help…_

"I'm go-oing," I said.

Searchlight nodded. "I'm going with you." _I don't want you to think Ravage isn't important to me. If we can find him, then it's worth it._

"What!" Ratchet said. "You can't skip school!"

"I used to do it all the time before I started coming to this one," Searchlight said. "We have to find Ravage."

"But…" Ratchet said, then deflated. "All right. You don't expect _me_ to come, though, do you?"

"No, that's okay," Searchlight said. "Just come up with a good cover story for us." _I need some energon before we go, okay, Soundwave?_

I nodded. Searchlight grabbed a few things off of his desk and subspaced them, then followed me to the energon hall. We got energon. Searchlight drank his quickly while I swapped my full cube with an empty one from the orn before.

Then we left. The front gates were only open for a twenty breem window before classes started. After that, if you lived in the city, you had to talk to the mech who ran the gates.

He'd usually let you in, provided you could prove you were a student, but leaving was another matter.

Fortunately, we got there before the gates closed and slipped out past the trickle of fledglings coming in from the city.

A few mecha noticed us, and some wondered where we were going, but no one cared enough to stop us.

Searchlight's first idea was to go back to the park and see if we could figure something out from there. It seemed as good a place to start as any so I followed him. Since school was in session, the park was eerily empty. An old femme sat on a bench, thoughtfully watching as some of the playground equipment swayed back and forth in the wind.

She saw us as we approached.

 _Ah, that mech from last orn, the one who was looking for a symbiont._ "Well, young mech, did you find your cat?"

"No," Searchlight said. "Have you seen anything? We're still looking for him."

"Hmm…" the femme thought back on her orn so far. "Nope. Can't help you mechling. Sorry."

She didn't feel particularly sorry, though. She had a dull, quiet sort of processor, so I could tell she was fairly old. She was probably about ready to fade.

When mecha got to be four or five hundred vorns old, they got tired. It was like they lost the will to live. Eventually, they decided they were going home to the Allspark, and just wandered to a junkyard to die.

Of course, some mecha lasted much longer, especially if they had some sort of goal, or a reason to keep living. Master Yoketron had been in the Quintesson wars, so he must have been online for at least two thousand vorns.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Well, thanks anyway."

"Good luck," the femme said.

We walked away.

 _Fledglings…only ones here… hey…_ "Wait!" the femme said. "Shouldn't you two be in school?"

Searchlight froze. "Uh… we got the orn off."

 _He's definitely lying._ "You go back to school where you belong young mech, and don't talk back to your elders."

"Okay," Searchlight said. "We'll do that." _Come on, 'Wave._

_They aren't going to go back to school are they? Bah. Skipping school to look for a cat. That's not the worst thing they could be doing but still…_

"Okay," Searchlight said as we got far enough from the femme that she wasn't in my range anymore. "So, we were here at the park. We got here at like nine or ten joors, and it was about fourteen joors when we realized Ravage was missing. We looked for him after that. We went around to nearby places and asked mecha if they'd seen him. One youngling said she'd seen a cat, but she couldn't seem to explain where it had gone." _We got so used to having you around, 'Wave. You always understand everyone._

Again, I wished I'd been here last orn.

 _I don't understand still… Ravage wouldn't just run away._ "You know, I can't imagine Ravage would disappear on purpose." _And he never gets lost. Pit, I shouldn't think about this._

"Re-emember…" I said.

Searchlight recognized from my tone that I had something to say, and stopped to wait for me to talk.

Instead, I unsubspaced a datapad and typed.

[Remember the first time this term that we came to the park and I insisted we leave early? There was a mech there who wanted to kidnap Ravage.]

"What?" Searchlight said. "Why?" _That's crazy. Why would anyone want to kidnap a symbiont?_

I hesitated. I had an idea, but I didn't really want to say it.

"What?" Searchlight asked again, looking at me.

I took the datapad.

[possibly symbiont fights]

Searchlight's optics widened. "Oh, that's not good." _Well, if that mech kidnapped him, then at least that means he isn't offline._

Not necessarily.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Do you remember what that mech looked like?"

I nodded.

"Describe him."

I typed a brief description of him and Searchlight read it as we walked back over to the femme sitting on the bench.

"I thought I told you mechlings to go to school."

"Well," Searchlight said. "We just have one more question. Have you seen a mech who looks like this?"

She grabbed the datapad from him and squinted at my description. It had been a long time since she'd seen a medic and her optics weren't working really well.

She muttered out loud as she read, then thought back to the orn before. She _had_ seen him. I wasn't sure whether that was good news or bad news. "Yes," she said. "I think I seen that mech once or twice."

"Did you see where he went?" Searchlight asked.

She shook her helm, skimming through her memories. "Nope," she said. "Didn't notice."

Searchlight was also thinking back. He'd been preoccupied and hadn't noticed the mech, but he'd been sort of paying attention to Ravage.

Seeing their memories side by side gave me an idea.

"Okay," Searchlight said. _'Wave, I hope listening to her thoughts was helpful._

She gave Searchlight back the datapad. "But really, young mechs, go to school. Or I'll comm. the enforcers on you or something."

She wouldn't, not really.

But we did need to go back to school.

We walked away from her and I held out my hand for the datapad. Searchlight gave it to me.

[I don't think we'll find him just looking around. Not unless I expand my range to the point where I'd pass out. We need to go back to school and talk to Ratchet and Breeze and anyone else who was there. Was anyone else from school at the park?]

Searchlight considered that for a moment, then nodded. He'd recognized several of them. Some had even helped look for Ravage once Searchlight had realized he was missing.

I took the datapad back [I need everyone's memories.] I might be able to fit them together and figure out what happened.

Searchlight nodded. "Okay." _We'll have to sneak into the school and then we probably won't be able to sneak away again until after classes…_

I nodded. I understood that.

_I was kind of looking forward to missing all of my classes. Oh well._

Coming out into the city had helped me clear my helm a little, though. I knew I couldn't just expand my range and go looking for him. There was no way I could walk around all orn in a city with my range expanded, and I'd probably need to be ready when we did find him, to sneak into wherever it was so we could get him back.

I _would_ find him.

I didn't want to think about the possibility that he wasn't online anymore. It wasn't a possibility. It couldn't be.

We'd only been gone a little less than a joor and were just missing our first class. The guard at the gate scolded us for being late, but let us in.

"Okay," Searchlight said once we were crossing the yard. "We can ask Ratchet and Breeze in third joor. I'll try to hunt down the other mecha who were there. Do you know who they all are?"

I hesitated, then nodded. I'd gotten the list when he'd been thinking about it.

"Do you know their class schedules?"

I hesitated again. I tried not to use information like that, but I knew just about everyone's class schedules. I nodded again.

_We just need a plan to corner all of them individually and ask them._

I nodded. "I-I'll have it worked o-out by third joo-oor."

"Okay, mech, see you then…" he hesitated. "How are you doing?"

I hadn't recharged at all last off-cycle. I hadn't been able to. I'd almost decided to sneak out and look for Ravage on my own, again and again, and then talked myself out of it. I needed fuel too, now that I thought to check, but I didn't want it.

And Ravage was missing. Hurt or offline, or at least imprisoned, and there was no way for me to know if he was okay. He wasn't okay. He definitely wasn’t okay.

"'Wave." _He seems normal, mostly, but his stutter's insane right now. He's not okay. No one would be under the circumstances._ "We'll find him."

He was trying to convince himself as much as me. But I nodded because I wanted to believe it.

The bell rang. The hallways filled with students.

Breeze and Ratchet were surprised to see us in third joor. Searchlight waved them over to the back of the room where the two of us were. I handed Searchlight a datapad that detailed when and where we could catch all of the students who'd been at the park the previous orn.

"You came back," Ratchet said. _is Searchlight finally getting some common sense, or is this some sort of a fluke?_

"We may have figured out what happened," Searchlight said. "No time to explain, though, we need you two to think back through your memories of last orn. Really focus on them. Especially anything having to do with Ravage or a mech with this description." He switched to the file where I'd typed the description of the mech who'd wanted Ravage.

They looked at it, then both obediently searched their memory files. I listened hard. Breeze's memories were more useful than Ratchet's. She'd seen Ravage later than the other two. She'd also seen the mech we were looking for, though that had been much earlier on.

Class started. I couldn't really bring myself to pay much attention. Master Yoketron noticed there was something off and held Searchlight and I back after class was over, which would make things worse because we needed the time in between classes to hunt down the students we needed to question.

"You were both a little distracted this orn," Yoketron said.

"Yeah, we're sorry about that," Searchlight said. "And we're not going to be able to come meet with you after classes are over. Is that all right?"

Yoketron frowned. "Why?"

Searchlight looked at me. _Should I just tell him? What else am I going to say?"_

"I lo-ost my ca-at," I said. "We-e-e need to look fo-or him."

Yoketron's frown deepened. _A lost pet. Yes, I'd heard Soundwave had a symbiont. If it's missing out in the city, they probably won't have much luck finding it._ "I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "Where did you lose it?"

"At the park on Eighth Street, last orn," Searchlight said.

 _Their chances aren't very good… but it must mean a lot. They've never asked to skip training before._ "Very well. I will not expect to see you after classes, then. Good luck."

We left and hurried to try and intercept one of the students on the list before he got to his next class.

* * *

We spent the rest of school like that. Between each class, we'd meet up at the right place to catch one of the students we wanted to talk to. Searchlight would ask them to try and remember if they'd seen the mech, and when the last time they'd seen Ravage was.

It would have been useful to do this even if I hadn't been able to hear their thoughts. But because I could, I got much more than they could verbally describe to us. I got pictures and memories and reasons. Normally I didn't want it all, but now I was glad because I had enough information to piece everything together. By the time school was out, I knew what had happened—at least at the park.

Without waiting for Ratchet or Breeze, Searchlight and I left the school and joined the crowd of students going home for the orn. We headed for the park and I explained on the way.

The mech had shown up. Someone had seen him come to the park. He'd only been there for a quarter of a joor, then he'd left. Ravage had been seen last sitting by the edge of the park, looking out into the city. I was certain that was right before he'd disappeared. He had been sitting still, audios up, tail twitching, looking curious about something. He'd been listening to something, probably contemplating leaving the park, just for a moment, to find out what it was. He was too curious for his own good, and living with mecha—especially since I'd made some friends—had made him too trusting.

We got to the park and crossed it to the place Ravage had last been seen.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Where do we go from here?"

Anxiety had been building up in my core all orn. The longer it took to find Ravage, the less likely that we’d be able to get him back.

Most of the park was open space, but on this side you were right up against a maze of tall buildings.

"We loo-ook around," I said. "He-e pro-obably went this way."

Searchlight nodded and we moved into the city and split up. I expanded my range so I could keep track of where Searchlight was. There weren't many mecha around so it wasn't much of a problem here. I stopped when I got to the point where I was in range of the mecha working in the buildings. What we were looking for had to be close by.

It was Searchlight who found it—a narrow, dead-end alleyway. I hurried to join him, and he was surprised when I came up behind him. He didn't realize he was looking at a clue.

"Hey," he said. "Find something?"

I shook my helm and pointed at the wall.

He looked, then crouched and ran his fingers along the scratches there. "These? Do you think?" _Could Ravage have done this? The claw marks look about right… it looks like he put up quite a fight._ The walls and the ground were streaked with claw marks and there was what looked like a scrap of a chain-link net that had been clawed through. And some mostly-dried drops of energon.

"Think he could have gotten away?"

I sat down against the wall and shook my helm.

Searchlight saw the energon. "I bet this was from whoever was trying to catch him," he said. _I guess he's right that Ravage couldn't have gotten away, though. If he'd gotten away, he would come home._

Exactly.

So now we were here. This was almost certainly where they'd captured Ravage. This had actually happened.

And now I had no idea what to do next. They could have taken him anywhere. They could have taken him out of the city. I looked at the energon on the ground. He could be hurt. I might never see him again. I knew that. I'd known it all orn, but somehow it was finally starting to feel real.

"So we just have to figure out where they took him from here, right?"

I didn't move.

"'Wave?" He looked at me.

I wished he'd go away. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them.

"Hey," Searchlight said. "What?"

"We'll ne-ever find him."

Searchlight didn't answer immediately. As much as he'd like to reassure me that we _would_ find Ravage, and that everything would be all right, he knew it might not.

A low-fuel warning flashed in my processor. I wanted Searchlight to go away, to stop staring at me, to stop feeling sorry for me. I wished I could turn back time to stop this from happening.

 _We can't do this if you give up, Soundwave,_ Searchlight thought. _Just the fact that you got us here is beyond what anyone else would have been able to do. We're going in the right direction. We're getting closer. Now's not the time to quit._

But I didn't know where to go next.

 _I'm not letting you sit there and mope. I'm not letting you give up. We_ will _find Ravage._

I shook my helm. How could he possibly be so certain about that?

"Come on," he held out a hand.

I hesitantly reached out and let him pull me to my pedes. As soon as I was steady, he threw a punch at my screen. I blocked it easily, but he kept attacking. I dodged and blocked and then got fed up and slammed him into the wall.

My spark was pulsing quickly now, and my helm was a little clearer.

"You can do this," Searchlight said. _Feel better?_

I nodded. Another low-fuel warning popped up in my processor, and this time it stayed.

That was probably another reason I was feeling sick and hopeless.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "So, they probably brought him back this way." He walked toward the mouth of the alley, then stopped and looked back at me. I held up a hand and un-subspaced the cube of energon. Searchlight looked away as I pulled the top off and opened the port in my shoulder.

_That's right. He didn't have any when we went to the energon hall. Frag, that's too long. He probably didn't get any last off-cycle either._

When I was done, I subspaced the empty cube, feeling marginally better. Searchlight was right that I shouldn't just sit and feel sorry for myself. I didn't have time for that. I still didn't feel very hopeful, but Searchlight was determined that we'd find Ravage so I'd lean on his determination for now.

We knew almost for sure that Ravage had been kidnapped. Now we needed to find out where he'd been taken.


	33. Dead Ends

Searchlight sat down on his berth with a sigh. I took the chair.

"No luck?" Ratchet asked.

Breeze wasn't there. It was only about half a joor until lights-out, so she'd probably gone back to her own room.

"No luck," Searchlight said.

We'd spent a while trying to figure out which direction the mech who'd taken Ravage had gone, but we couldn't find any clues. So we'd wandered the nearby parts of the city, even venturing into a crowded shopping center, a few symbiont stores, and other places where we thought mecha might know, but no one had been able to help us and now I had a processor ache to end all processor aches.

Ratchet sighed. _He's probably offline. If he wasn't, then he'd have turned up by now._ He sank down in his chair a little, refusing to look at us. _This is our fault. If we'd watched more carefully, this wouldn't have happened._

I got up. I needed to go to my room before lights out. I was exhausted from not recharging the off-cycle before and from running around the city all orn with an expanded range.

"You okay?" Searchlight said.

I nodded.

"Going to your room?"

Another nod.

 _Is he okay? I told him to keep his range small, but I somehow doubt he listened. "_ Say something."

I tried hard to control my voice. "I'm fi-ine."

Searchlight didn't believe me, but he let me go. I went to my room and lay down on my berth, but I was in too much pain to recharge. Maybe if Ravage had been here I would have been able to, but as it was, lights-out came and went and I was still lying there, fully awake.

Eventually, I got up again and sat in the middle of the room to meditate, but I couldn't do that either, not when this room was so terrifyingly empty. I hadn't seen Ravage for more than an orn now. I wondered where he was—if he was hurt or scared. Maybe he would escape and come back here.

I put my helm in my hands, wishing the pain would just go away. I needed to recharge so I could go out and look for him again next orn. I knew I'd probably pass out if this stupid processor ache would back off a little.

So after trying to meditate for a while, I just climbed back onto my berth and waited.

* * *

"I had an idea after you left last off-cycle," Searchlight said the next orn as we walked out of the school past crowds of students coming in.

I nodded.

"We just need to find out where there are symbiont fights."

I nodded again.

"And then from that point, we'll probably be able to figure out where Ravage might have gone." _You don't happen to know where any places like that are? That would let us skip a step._

I shook my helm. I picked a lot of things up that mecha kept secret, but I didn't know everything.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "So where do we need to go to find mecha who'd know where they have symbiont fights?"

For living here my whole life—especially considering my abilities—I didn't know the city very well. But I'd picked up on where most of the less reputable places were.

We had to go down a couple of levels. It really wasn't safe here and we stood out a little. Fortunately, I could tell if anyone nearby thought we might have something to steal, and we could take a detour or two and lose them.

Searchlight was waiting for me to signal that I'd found someone who would be good to talk to, but so far I wasn't sure. I was mostly hoping someone we went by would just happen to be thinking about symbiont fights but that probably wouldn't work.

There were all kinds of mecha here. Some normal, just going about their lives, though most who were passing through were wary. This was not the nicest part of the city.

Some were not normal mecha. Some were insane, some had very dark, disturbed processors. Some were greedy, others violent. Almost all of them were unhappy in one way or another. None of them were the kind of mecha I particularly wanted to approach. If it weren't for Ravage and my desperate need to find him, I would definitely not be here.

We were walking down a mostly-empty street when a mech called out to us from the shadows.

Searchlight glanced at me. _How about him? Can we talk to him?_ He was getting fed up with how long it was taking me to pick someone to talk to.

I shrugged. This mech was definitely up to no good, but I didn't think he was necessarily dangerous, and he was just as likely as anyone else to know the information we wanted.

We turned and walked toward him.

 _Younglings. Skipping school… that one's kind of weird-looking. Or is it just a drone? Huh. Doesn't matter, really_ "You mechs lost or something?" he asked.

"No, we're fine," Searchlight said.

"Yeah." _This one's kinda cocky. Wonder what they're doing here? Looking for trouble of some sort, probably._

"Actually," Searchlight said. "We have a question. We're looking for someplace."

"So you _are_ lost."

"No," Searchlight said.

"Then what's your question?"

 _What is this mech's problem?_ Searchlight thought. "We're trying to find out where they have symbiont fights."

The mech narrowed his optics. _That was unexpected… interesting._ A location flashed through his processor."Well, you gotta ask somemech else," he said. "I don't really give directions… not without some incentive at least. But I don't know why you want to know something like that. I don't even think they'd let mechlings like you in." _They probably would. They don't care._ "In any case, if you're looking for a good time of some sort, you don't need something so complicated or hard to find."

Searchlight raised an optic ridge. _What is he talking about? I hope you got some useful information from him, Soundwave._

"I don't usually sell answers. But I do have some pretty interesting energon additives, if you want to try some." _For a price, of course._

 _Ah,_ Searchlight thought. "No thanks, mech."

"Sure?" the mech said. "Ever tried that sort of thing before?" _He's arrogant. I can use that._

Searchlight shrugged. _I think we're done here._

"It's not _that_ dangerous. But I guess if you're scared, I can't fault you too much."

Searchlight hesitated.

"You ought to at least give it a try."

 _I wonder…_ Searchlight thought. _I've always been a little curious…_

Are you kidding me?

I was strongly tempted to kick him.

He remembered why we were here, though. "Nah, mech, we just wanted directions, so… thanks but no thanks." _He just wants my credit… which I don't actually have._

 _Thought I had him… oh well._ The mech scowled. "Well, maybe I'll see you around some time when you aren't so busy." _Or maybe not. Doesn't matter._

"Maybe," Searchlight said. _I doubt it. As fun as this is, I'll stick with hanging out at the park. This place is kind of unfriendly._

We walked away.

As soon as we went around the corner, I grabbed Searchlight's shoulder and stopped.

"What?" he said. _Did you get what we needed?_

I pointed at him. "Never." I said quietly.

He was confused for a moment, but then understood. "Oh," he said. "Come on, mech, you know I wouldn't…"

I shook my helm. I knew he'd considered it.

 _Cheater. Look, It's just curiosity._ "I'm not that stupid."

"Y-you are that stu-upid."

He hesitated, but decided not to take offense at that. "Good thing I have a best friend who keeps me out of trouble then. Should we go find someone else to ask or…"

I shook my helm again. "No nee-eed."

"So he knew and he just wouldn't tell us?"

I nodded.

"Glitch."

We kept walking. Searchlight wondered where we were going, but he didn't say anything. He figured I had a plan. He was right. He wouldn't like it, though.

Our destination was a moderately sized energon bar in a shady part of the sector, three levels below the main street level.

Searchlight expected we would go in, but that would have been a terrible idea. Instead, I led us around the side and found a sheltered, hidden spot right up against the building.

"Now what?" Searchlight said. _Explain what we're doing here._

I got out a datapad. [They have symbiont fights here, in the off-cycle. We can hang around and find out where they keep the symbionts, then go there.]

Searchlight looked at me. _And how are we supposed to find anything out if we just sit here? I won’t let you expand your range._

[It's fine. It's not like there'll be a lot of mecha there this time of the orn]

_You're going to hurt yourself._

[This is the best way. We can't go inside. They'll be suspicious or even kick us out. I will be fine.]

I handed him the datapad and expanded my range to cover the whole building. I also got part of the building across the street, and a little bit of the one above us. I turned off my screen to give my processor a little extra power.

“'Wave?" Searchlight said.

"I'm fi-ine," I replied. I was, for now. Even though the energon bar was fairly empty, there were a few mecha in there, most of them overcharged or worse. That was always unpleasant. Not in a processor-ache sort of way—they weren't thinking particularly hard—but in an unnatural, sickening sort of way. Maybe being overcharged was pleasant for the mecha who'd _had_ the high grade, but for me it was just disturbing. Their processors didn't work right, glitching and lagging and going in and out of focus, accompanied by a warped sense of numbness or sometimes pleasure from their core.

It was enough to convince me not to go near high-grade, ever.

Searchlight got bored pretty quickly and pulled out a datapad to play games on. He was still worried about me, but knew it was too late to stop me.

I picked a few things up quickly. The symbiont fights happened every other off-cycle. They'd happened the off-cycle before, and would happen again, not this orn, but the next.

I also picked up that one of the owners of the symbionts was due to show up and collect some prize money for two wins the off-cycle before. The owner was the mech who'd kidnapped Ravage. And one of the fights he'd won had been with my symbiont.

That news filled me with hope, but also anger and fear. At least I'd found him—or was a step closer to finding him. They didn't keep the symbionts here, though so I'd have to wait until the mech who'd kidnapped Ravage showed up. Then maybe we could follow him. Well… if he walked, which he probably wouldn't.

I had to keep expanding my range as it shrank back toward the base range. After a joor of that, I had a pretty bad processor ache.

Finally, though, the mech came. He drove up and transformed at the doors, then went in.

Searchlight was chatting back and forth with Breeze, via his datapad, explaining to her what we were doing.

I listened closely to the mech who was crossing the bar, heading for the counter. The bartender let him past and he went into a back room.

"Well," the mech there said. "I was starting to think you wouldn't show up."

The mech who'd kidnapped Ravage snorted. _As if I'd miss collecting._ "Well, I'm here. The credit?"

"Here." The other mech slid a datachip across his desk. Ravage's kidnapper checked it using his datapad. It was actually a little more than he'd been expecting. He wasn't going to complain about that, though.

"Your new symbiont is good," the other mech said. "Think it will be ready to come back next off-cycle?"

 _He won't have fully recovered by then… but he wasn't hurt too badly._ "Depends. That's a risk." _I don't want to lose him so soon after getting him. He needs to make me a lot more credit before I lose him._

Ravage had been hurt. I took a deep vent and let it out slowly, trying to stay calm and just listen.

Searchlight was watching me, concerned. He silently asked if I was all right, but I needed to pay attention to the conversation inside so I ignored him for now. The mech still hadn't given me any hints about where he was keeping Ravage. I needed to know where he was keeping Ravage.

"We can offer you a 50% bonus," the other mech said. "Mecha liked that cat, and I've had some requests to bring it back."

A 50% bonus was just too tempting. The mech hesitated, then nodded. "I'll bring him. But only if you give me the bonus beforehand, in case he loses."

The bar owner shook his helm. "Doesn't work like that. You win, then you get paid. You lose, you lose. I don't offer bonuses very often, but if you don't think that cat can win, you shouldn't use it again until it's repaired. It didn't look too badly injured to me." _He's probably going to bring it. And I'll pit it against something tougher. That cat's a competitor I can't afford to have here._

 _I need the credit,_ Ravage's kidnapper thought. _To pay off my debt. I'm running out of time. And besides, he's right_ — _Ravage isn't too badly injured and he did so well the last round… he'll be fine._ "Okay," he said. "I'll bring him."

"Good mech," the bar owner said. "I suppose I'll see you next off-cycle with that cat… don't suppose you're looking to sell it. I've had a few mechs ask about that too."

"Nah," Ravage's kidnapper said. "He's not for sale." _It seems everymech noticed though—he's even better than I thought he'd be. This is the best fortune I've had in a long time._

He left—left the back room, left the building, and drove away, all without ever thinking about where he was keeping Ravage. I had a vague idea that it might be somewhere near the southern end of the city, and I knew what the exterior of the building looked like, as well as the room he was being kept in, but none of those things would do much to help us find it.

And this was really bad.

The mech who ran the symbiont fights had been lying more than he'd been telling the truth. He was going to have Ravage offlined. He pretended to be an unbiased host—He was known, apparently, for having the best symbiont fighting set-up in the city. Almost any mech could enter a symbiont. If your symbiont won, you got prize money; if they lost you got nothing. But you didn't need to pay to enter, and since this mech himself didn't own any of the fighting symbionts, you could be sure the fights weren't rigged.

Of course, he actually _did_ own several of the symbionts. He had paid mecha to pretend to be the owners while still keeping most of the profit for himself. He was usually very sneaky about it, and he tried to keep the rigged fights rare, so no one would notice, but sometimes he felt he needed to control a situation.

Ravage's fight would be rigged against him.

We had to stop it before it happened.

I listened to the mech inside scheming for a while. I wanted to know as much as I could about how this worked so I could figure it out and stop it, but by the time school was about to end, I could barely focus.

So I let my range shrink for a joor or so. By that point Searchlight was bored out of his processor. He wasn't really good at waiting. He kept asking me questions too, but I didn't trust my voice enough to answer.

Eventually, we needed to go. We needed to talk to Ratchet and Breeze so we could come up with a plan. In my current state, I didn't think I'd be much help with that part.

I pushed away from the wall and stood. A wave of dizziness hit me and I swayed and nearly fell, but Searchlight jumped up to steady me.

"Mech," he said. _You are not okay. Oh, Primus…_

I shrugged and pushed him away. He let me go, but stayed close to catch me if I fell.

_See, you got mad at me for considering buying drugs, and then you do something like this to yourself._

It shouldn't have been quite this bad. Maybe it was because I'd done this the orn before too.

* * *

Walking through the city with my still-expanded range made things even worse. I had to stop and rest several times before we got back to school. We went to Searchlight's room, and sure enough we found Breeze and Ratchet there waiting for us.

Breeze was sitting in my usual spot, so I just sat on the floor and leaned my helm against the wall, glad I didn't have to walk anymore. My helm felt like it was splitting open and my processor seemed to be tearing itself apart. I could barely think at all.

"News?" Ratchet said. _They didn't find Ravage._

"Are you okay, Soundwave?" Breeze asked. "What happened?" She directed the question at Searchlight, for which I was grateful—I was in no state to answer questions.

"I think we took some steps in the right direction," Searchlight said. "But I don't know. 'Wave's not all right—he has a processor ache from expanding his range to cover an entire building for what was it, like six joors?"

 _Oh no…_ Breeze stared at me.

 _You fragging idiot…_ "And you _let_ him?" Ratchet glared at Searchlight.

"How am I supposed to stop him?" Searchlight asked.

"I don't know! Talk him out of it! You talk us all _into_ a lot of stupid things, can't you do it the other way?"

"Look, I tried to talk him out of it..."

"Mechs, he's right here," Breeze said. _Don't talk about him like he can't hear you._

I honestly didn't care, especially right now.

Ratchet huffed. _I wish I could do something about the pain, but I haven't learned enough and I don't have any tools either._ "Well, now we can't do anything. I mean we could take him to Ochre."

"Why can't _you_ do something?"

"Me? What could I do? I'm not a medic yet. I mean, if his arm fell off, I might be able to put it back on—not legally, but at least somewhat successfully. A processor ache on the other hand, one caused by mind-reading powers?" _I have no idea what to do about that._

Everything was kind of fuzzy. I was having a hard time following the conversation. We didn't have time for this argument, though. I got out my datapad and started typing. My hands were shaking, which made it difficult, but I needed to tell them all what I'd learned.

They realized what I was doing and stopped to watch me, waiting for me to finish.

It seemed to take forever. This was like final exams, or worse. And I didn't have Ravage. Ravage always made me feel better.

I finished with […but I can't help you come up with a plan. I can hardly think and I doubt I can talk.]

I didn't mention the pain—that was kind of a given. They read my paragraph.

"Okay," Ratchet said. _He needs to recharge. He also needs energon._ "Breeze, do you still have that energon?"

"Oh, yes," Breeze pulled a couple of cubes out of subspace. "We swiped some from the energon hall. We were really sneaky."

 _They did what?_ "That is the best thing I've heard all day." Searchlight said. "I'm so proud of you."

Breeze's vents heated up.

Searchlight took one of the cubes of energon and knelt by where I was sitting. I reached out to take it, but my hand shook so badly that I nearly dropped it. Searchlight took it back from me.

_It's okay, 'Wave. I can do this. Just open your shoulder thing._

I hesitated, but I really needed the energon. I had been ignoring the warnings in my processor for the past several joors. I slid the port on my shoulder open. Searchlight carefully poured the energon into it until the cube was empty.

"Good," Ratchet said when Searchlight was finished. "Now get up." He came over and helped me to my pedes then dragged me over to his berth. "Lie down and recharge. Or if you can't do that, then at least don't move."

I obediently lay down on Ratchet's berth, while they started working on a plan. I actually did slip into recharge in a couple of breems, despite the pain.

* * *

I still had a terrible processor ache when I came online, but it wasn't as bad as it had been before. The others were still talking. I sat up to let them know I was awake.

"Soundwave!" Searchlight said. "Feel better?"

I nodded.

"We were thinking," Breeze said. "We probably just ought to contact enforcement and tell them about that place. I mean, we'd want to do it anonymously, cuz we can't really explain..."

"No-o." I said forcefully.

They looked at me.

"We'd be careful not to let them know how we found out about it…"

I shook my helm and stumbled off the berth to grab my datapad off of Ratchet's desk.

[By the time they do anything, it'll probably be too late for Ravage. And even if it isn't, they'll kill the symbionts. And it's not like Ravage is there all the time. The other mech has him. We can't get enforcement involved, not until Ravage is safe.]

I showed them the datapad.

"Okay," Breeze said. _But what do we do? It's not like we can go and ask nicely for our cat back._ "But we're just fledglings. What can we do?"

"We aren't just fledglings," Searchlight said. "We've got Soundwave. He can do things other fledglings can't." The beginnings of one of his famously bad ideas was developing in his processor.

"Well, whatever you do you can..." Ratchet almost said 'count me out' but he desperately wanted Ravage back too.

"We need you," Searchlight said. "We don't know if Ravage will be injured. From the sound of it, he already is."

"I don't know that I'll be much help," Ratchet said. "This is my first term in the medical emphasis."

"That's slag," Searchlight said. "You saved Soundwave's life before you even _started_ the medical emphasis. Just come."

"Fine," Ratchet said.

"What are you thinking of doing?" Breeze asked. _I don't want to get in trouble, but..._

"Well, I'm still working on a plan," Searchlight said. "If we can sneak into those symbiont fights and find a way to get Ravage back…"

"That sounds kind of…" Breeze said, then sighed. _Telling them it's dangerous won't do anything._

"The be-est thing," I said. "Is getti-i-ing Rava-age before the fi-ight."

Searchlight nodded. "If we can get him before the fight, then he probably won't be hurt."

I typed on the datapad. [The mech who stole him will bring him there early, and stay with him until the fight starts. So it would be almost impossible to get him out without that mech noticing.]

Searchlight nodded.

[I can sneak us in though. I know the passcodes for some of the doors.]

"Do you know where that mech will be?"

[Ravage's fight is scheduled second. The mech who stole him will probably be waiting in a back room unless he decides to go watch the fight. It won't be hard to find him.]

"Do you think if we distracted him, we could grab Ravage and run for it?" Searchlight asked.

I shrugged. Maybe, if we planned our route right.

"It's too late, though," Ratchet said. "The fighting starts shortly after lights-out. We can't be out that late." _We will get in so much trouble._

"Why not?" Searchlight asked.

"Because they sometimes check and make sure everyone's here just before lights-out. If we're missing, they might notice."

Searchlight frowned.

"We could sneak out after lights-out." Breeze said.

"How?" Ratchet demanded.

_'Wave, can you get us out of here?_

I nodded.

"Soundwave can handle that," Searchlight said. "You're right, Ratchet. We don't want to get caught."

"Once more," Breeze said. "Are you _sure_ we can't just get some adults involved?"

Searchlight considered that. _Soundwave's right_ —t _hat won't end well for Ravage. She doesn't understand._ "Caged fighting makes symbionts crazy," he said. "Most of the time, if they've been in fights, they don't ever get tame again. Ravage is probably okay, since he's only been in one fight, but they don't know that, and probably won't care. The general policy is to offline them all when they find stuff like this."

I didn't want to think about it.

"So no. We can't get any adults involved, not if we want Ravage back. And we can't wait any longer either, because they're going to rig the fight next off-cycle. We have to do this now."

Breeze nodded. "Okay, well... I mean, I'm in, but..." _We just have to be really careful because I feel like this could get us in big trouble if anyone finds out._

"Thanks," Searchlight said.

"Not sure I'll be able to help with anything other than moral support," she added.

"Sure you will," Searchlight said. "You're worth lots more than just moral support, Breeze." _She kind of keeps us sane._

Well, that made Breeze pretty happy.

 _But she'd probably feel better if she had a job… what can she do?... I know._ "Breeze, you can contact enforcement."

She frowned, confused. "I thought we weren't…"

"We aren't," Searchlight said. "But it's a possibility that Soundwave and I will fail and get caught. I'm not sure what we'd do then, but it might be better to call the enforcers at that point, because I don't really know what they'd do to us for trying to steal someone's symbiont—steal _back_ someone's symbiont... They'd probably just kick us out, but you never know."

Breeze stared at him. _Oh, Primus, that would be bad. What if they get hurt?_

"We should be fine," Searchlight said, accurately reading her expression. "But just in case, you know, if we're in there for a whole joor or something. I'll let you decide when it's been too long—I trust your judgment. Just remember, if you call the enforcers, it means Ravage is probably going to die. But, like, if it gets to the point where you _need_ to call them, he's probably already dead."

Breeze took in a deep vent. "Okay," she said. "Once we get Ravage out, can we call the enforcers anyway?"

"Yes," Searchlight said. _That would be really satisfying._

"No," I countered, then typed. [They'll ask who you are. They'll want to know who's contacting them. If we don't want to get caught, we can't tell anyone about this, at least not yet.]

They read.

"Right," Searchlight said. "Sorry Breeze."

"We should stop them," Breeze said. "What they're doing is wrong."

"We-e're just going fo-or Ravage."

"Breeze is right, though," Searchlight said. "They're going to get more symbionts hurt. We have to do something about that."

Great. Thank you, Breeze. Searchlight had just decided he needed to rid the world of symbiont fights. Not that that was a bad goal, but right now we needed to focus.

 _Of course,_ Searchlight thought, _Soundwave's right too._ "But not yet. Let's do this first. Then we can work on a good way to stop them. We need to rescue Ravage next off-cycle, before we do anything else."

Breeze nodded. _That's right. That's reasonable. We'll do that._

"Okay," Searchlight said. "So that's the plan. Everyone in agreement?"

 _Wait, what's the plan?_ Ratchet wondered. _Did we come up with a plan? Did I miss it?_ "What?" he said.

_And of course, Ratchet has to protest. Of course._

"So your plan—if I'm correct—is that we are going to sneak out of school next off-cycle after lights out, cross the city in the dark, and then you and Soundwave will somehow sneak into the energon bar and somehow manage to distract everyone then grab Ravage and run for it and _somehow_ manage to get out without them catching you and then you'll come find us and if Ravage is injured, I'll _somehow_ manage to repair him after we sneak back into the school."

Silence fell.

"Yep," Searchlight said. "That's pretty much the gist of it."

"Are you insane? That's not a plan!"

"Hey, we have a whole orn to work on the details."

"You're just going to show up and hope that everything lines up perfectly for you to save Ravage!"

_We have Soundwave. Everything works out when you've got him on your side. 'Wave are you okay with this plan?_

I nodded.

"Look, if we can come up with a better plan, I'm fine with that. But if we can't, then we've got to do it this way. We only have one chance."

Ratchet glared at him. "All right," he growled. "But if you two idiots get yourselves hurt, I will make you regret it."

"Yeah, whatever," Searchlight said, and dodged a stylus. "We'll be fine."

 _I hope we can come up with a better plan…_ Breeze thought.

There was no way to know how things would turn out until we got there. I knew enough about the way things were run, though, that I ought to be able to work out some details. We would do this. We had to. Like Searchlight had said, we only had one chance.


	34. Life and Death

The next orn, we all went to classes, but none of us paid much attention to our schoolwork, even Ratchet. We were all too busy thinking about the plan and trying to come up with something more substantial. After classes were over, we talked about it for a few joors and settled on a more detailed version of Searchlight's original plan. It ought to work if we were careful and moved quickly. We discussed it again and again, going over it and trying to perfect it, but there was always an element of risk.

Eventually, we couldn't talk about it anymore and the room got quiet. Breeze, Searchlight, and Ratchet did homework, but though I'd already missed several assignments and I had more due the next orn, I couldn't muster the motivation to work on them. It was too quiet in Searchlight's room without Ravage. It had been three orns since I'd seen him. Three orns.

We all stayed until it was almost lights-out.

"Well," Breeze said. "Soundwave and I should probably go."

Searchlight had given up doing homework too. He was nervous and a little excited. "Okay," he said. "Before you do…" he smiled encouragingly. "I really hope we can pull this off. This is like the awesomest thing we've ever done…" he looked down. "I just wish Ravage's life wasn't in danger."

Yeah. That would be nice.

Breeze and I left. I went to my room to sit at my desk anxiously. If we didn't get Ravage out this off-cycle, we wouldn't be getting him out at all. The thought almost made my physically sick. My processor ache from the last two orns was mostly gone, but I still couldn't recharge.

I waited a few breems after lights out, counting the astroseconds, and then opened my door and slipped out. We met at the doors of the energon hall. It was closed and locked for the off-cycle, but I knew the code and also the code for the back door, which bypassed the gate. I didn't know if I could get us past the front gate unnoticed—there was usually someone there, guarding it, even in the off-cycle.

Searchlight and Ratchet were there when I arrived, but we had to wait another few breems for Breeze.

"Sorry," she said, when she finally joined us. "I was drawing something and got distracted."  _ Lame excuse, I know. _

"It's okay," Searchlight said. "Ready?"

We all nodded.

"Let's go then."

I keyed in the lock for the doors and they opened. I made sure to lock them behind us and we all crept through the energon hall past the dispensers and through to the back, where I put in another door code.

_ Another holovid moment,  _ Breeze thought.  _ Only this is nowhere near as fun as that field trip. Of course, that field trip got significantly less fun after that thing tried to eat us. _

_ We need to rescue Ravage,  _ Ratchet thought.  _ But I still can't believe we're actually doing this. _

And then we were out in the city.

* * *

Kalis in the off-cycle was a very different place. Familiar streets and buildings were somehow unfamiliar in the darkness. Almost all the light in the off-cycle came from beneath, rising from the lower levels of the city through the cracks in the streets. I expanded my range—there weren't many mecha around so it was fine—and led us through the gloom, keeping us away from anyone else who was out.

The longer we walked, the more I worried that we'd be too late.

When we got close to where we were going, we took a detour to a secluded alley.

"You know," Ratchet said quietly. "Now that we're here, I'm not so sure about Breeze and I hiding out in some random alley in a dangerous part of the city."

"Are you serious?" Searchlight said.  _ Scared of the dark? _

"What if someone else wants to use this alley to hide? What if…"

"It'll be-e fine," I said.

"And how do you know that?"

"I could keep y-you in my ra-a-ange."

They all stared at me.

"No," Ratchet hissed. "Absolutely not! If you expand your range that far, you could do permanent damage to yourself."

"The-en don't co-omplain."

"Mech, if you spread your range that far, you probably won't be much help inside there," Searchlight said.  _ And what if it hasn't shrunk back down by the time we have class next orn? _

"We'll be okay," Breeze said. "Just hurry."  _ We don't have time to argue about this. The first match will have already started by now. _

She was right. We left Breeze and Ratchet in the alleyway and made it to the place with the symbiont fights. I expanded my range and stopped once I was covering the whole building. It was  _ much  _ more crowded in there now than it had been before.

_ Please don't tell me you're covering Breeze and Ratchet… _

"I-I'm not." I said quietly, and led the way to the back entrance of the building. Ravage and the mech who'd kidnapped him were in a room close to the main one. The first fight was almost over. One of the symbionts was leaking heavily and barely conscious. I could feel its fear—potent, electrifying. Ravage, with his sensitive audios, could hear the fight going on in the other room and guessed he was next. He was feeling the same sort of ferocity that he felt when he wanted to protect me from something. Only, he was going to be protecting himself—fighting for his own life.

I had to take a break in an empty hallway, overwhelmed. The part of me that was relieved to finally have Ravage's processor back in my range was drowning in the sea of the overcharged crowd and the fear and insanity of the symbionts who were fighting.

I tried to focus on the task at hand. We needed to get to Ravage without running into anyone else. That was going to be hard. There were a lot of mecha in the hallways close to the front. And we wouldn't exactly blend in here. We were only fledglings.

_ Everything okay?  _ Searchlight asked. His processor was hard to pick out among all the noise.

I nodded once.

_ Let me know when to move. _

I nodded again. We'd just have to risk it. We needed to get to Ravage before his fight started. I pushed away from the wall and beckoned him to follow me. We moved carefully, staying just out of sight of the mecha in the building.

We got almost to the room where Ravage was. Almost. So close… and then two other mecha came at us from either end of a hallway and I couldn't get us to a good hiding spot quickly enough.

"Hey," one of them said when he noticed us.  _ What are these mechlings doing in here? I've never seen them before. They don't work here, maybe they're here to watch.  _ "No spectators in the back. Get back out in the audience."

The mech passing the other end of the hallway stopped to watch, prepared to back the first one up if necessary.

"We have a message for someone" Searchlight said.  _ Pit, did you tell me his designation, Soundwave?  _ "The one with the cat that's up next to fight."

"Ah… ok…" the mech said.

"Hang on," the second one came down to stand behind us. "Who's the message from?"

_ Uh…  _ "Uh… we can't say," Searchlight said.

"Well, he'll be out in the audience in a few breems anyway. No one gets to just come in the back. No exceptions."  _ I wonder who let them back here in the first place. _

_ Should we fight them?  _ Searchlight asked.

I shook my helm. We definitely couldn't take these two in a fight.

_ Run? _

"Come on," the second guard started herding us away, toward the main room. We went. I wasn't sure what else to do. Time for plan B.

Somehow. We would make this work somehow.

They took us to the room where the fight was going on. The noise outside my processor was almost as loud as the noise inside. The mech who'd insisted we come out here stayed in the doorway, watching us suspiciously.

We wouldn't be able to sneak back into the back.

I fought my growing processor ache, trying to stay alert.

_ What do we do now?  _ Searchlight wondered.

I pulled out a datapad. We'd discussed this possibility but now that we were here, we'd need to modify our plan a little. We needed to figure out how to get the doors of the big circular cage in the room open.

The fight was almost over. We were running out of time. I started typing on the datapad to explain to Searchlight what I wanted to do.

The symbiont who was losing the fight passed out.

The crowd kept shouting. The winning symbiont closed in for the kill.

From what I'd overheard, the symbionts who lost didn't always offline, but it was common, especially when they weren't evenly matched.

The winning symbiont dug its long, barbed claws into its opponent's side, piercing its spark chamber.

And the losing symbiont offlined.

I felt its spark go out. I heard its soul fade, leaving behind a black void.

The datapad slipped through my fingers.

"'Wave?" Searchlight stared at my screen.  _ What's wrong? What happened? Are you all right? _

I raised a shaking hand to my helm and nodded slightly, then bent to pick up the datapad. It was cracked and the screen was dark. I felt dizzy.

"I'll get mine," Searchlight said.

He had taken out his datapad and handed it to me before I had the presence of mind to subspace my broken one. I felt numb. Too much was going on that I was trying to pay attention to. They brought back the winning symbiont's cage and attached it to the side of the arena. Once the cage was secure, they signaled a mech behind the counter who tapped in a code to open the door between the two cages.

There was a door on either side so they could let two symbionts in at once. During a fight, they moved the small, individual cages away to make more room for the spectators. The whole setup could actually be disassembled and moved.

The handlers started trying to herd the symbiont, who was still clawing his fallen opponent to pieces, toward the smaller cage, using energon prods they stuck through the bars.

A mech went into the room Ravage and his kidnapper were in, to tell them it was time.

Searchlight was trying to get my attention. He was worried about me.

The mech in charge of the fights was in a room with Ravage's caged opponent. This symbiont barely fit in its cage. It growled, low and threatening as the mech approached it. But it was still sane enough to be afraid. It knew its future depended on pleasing this mech. When it didn't perform, it was beaten severely and then left to heal on its own.

"We're pitting you against a powerful, but smaller and inexperienced opponent," he said. "I want you to kill him."

The symbiont in the cage heard and understood. Often, it was the other way around and they wanted him to leave his opponents alive. He liked killing better, though. It was easier.

Terror—my own terror—coursed through my spark.

"Wave!" Searchlight grabbed my shoulders.  _ Are you okay? You're just standing there. _ I looked at him, then pulled away and started typing on the datapad again.

They'd gotten the previous symbiont back into his cage and one unfortunate mech was sweeping up the mess on the inside.

They were bringing Ravage out.

I gave Searchlight the instructions I'd written for him and made sure he understood them.

Then we moved further into the crowd.

Ravage was announced. They locked his cage into place. The mech cleaning vacated the big circular cage and a partition came down, dividing the arena in half. The mech operating the controls opened Ravage's door and he came out, armor flared and with the barbed spike on his tail out. The noise made him angrier and more afraid. The door to the cage closed behind him and they took the small cage away to make room so the crowd could press closer to the arena.

Then the other symbiont was brought out and released into its half of the large, circular cage.

The mech who'd kidnapped Ravage was horrified.  _ That thing is monstrous! I've seen it fight before. The cat's going to lose! Why would they do that! They can't do that! _

_ I'm going to die.  _ Ravage thought,  _ I'm not going to win this time... but I'm going to go down fighting. _

The two symbionts paced back and forth, growling at each other, overcome by pure instinct, each wanting only to eliminate the threat that was facing them across a barrier they both knew was about to come down.

Ravage was hurt. One of his front pedes felt like a knife was going through it every time it touched the ground.

I tried to force my way through the crowd, but it was hard. Everymech was too close together, and my expanded range made me too weak to shove through. I needed to get to the cage...

Searchlight, already in place, saw my predicament and left where he was standing to come help me.

No, Searchlight.

Mecha glared at me, angry that I was trying to cut in front of them.

"Fight!"

The barrier disappeared.

The crowd roared.

Ravage and the other symbiont circled each other once, and then the larger of the two attacked. He was a big, lizard-like creature with spikes jutting out of his thick armor and a helm with a long, pointed olfactory sensor and hooked fangs.

Ravage dodged, then clawed at the other symbiont's helm. The other symbiont roared in pain and rage and attacked again.

Searchlight reached me and helped me shove through the crowd. They weren't happy about that, and we had quite a few curses directed at us. I tried to tell Searchlight he needed to go back so he'd be ready before it was too late, but he didn't hear me.

Eventually, though, we got to the front and he started making his way out of the crowd again.

Then the other symbiont's claws found a mark, nearly severing Ravage's tail. I gasped as I felt his pain, but kept going, trying to move across the front of the crowd toward where the doors were.

Ravage clawed a deep gash in his opponent's faceplate at the cost of a nasty bite on his already injured leg.

He was smarter than the other symbiont, but at this point there was no way he would win.

I finally got into position, near but not right in front of the doors. Searchlight looked at me across the room and I nodded desperately. Now! We needed to move now!

Ravage and his opponent engaged and disengaged. They were both injured but Ravage's strength was fading.

Searchlight jumped over the counter and threw himself at the mech behind the cage controls. Completely taken by surprise, the mech was knocked over. Almost everyone else was busy watching the fight and none of them noticed.

Ravage took another hit—a long, deep gash on his back. He hissed and backed away, crouching low, prepared for the other symbiont to jump at him.

The lizard symbiont was going for the kill. No. No!

I cried out. "Ra-avage!"

Ravage heard me, and turned to look for me in the crowd.

The other symbiont landed on him, snapping its jaws down on Ravage's neck. It swung it helm, and its teeth tore through Ravage's neck and back plating. Then it released him, sending him flying against the cage walls.

Ravage didn't get up.

The doors of the cage opened, and almost no one noticed, even the big symbiont who was too maddened by bloodlust to care about anything. He charged again, then turned at the last second and slammed into Ravage, crushing him against the cage bars with the spikes on his side.

Then he saw that the doors were open.

So did everyone else.

With a triumphant roar, the maddened lizard symbiont charged through the opening into the room.

Three guards converged on Searchlight, who leaped back over the counter to get away from them.

I ducked into the arena, pedes skidding on the energon-coated floor and scooped Ravage up, then kept going. Searchlight had opened the doors on both sides. I made it through the other one just as the mech who'd been controlling the doors finally got back to his post and shut them.

Searchlight had joined the screaming, overcharged stampede leaving the building and I joined them as well, blending in with the stragglers. The lizard symbiont was occupying himself by mauling one of the spectators while the terrified handlers tried to goad him off using their energon prods.

Searchlight met me outside and we ran together through the darkened streets. Breeze and Ratchet came into my range, thankfully still right where we'd left them.

Searchlight came around the corner first and I followed after him, then stumbled to a halt, venting hard.

"Primus, no," Ratchet breathed.

I lowered Ravage to the ground. His spark still pulsed, but he was deep in stasis.

Ratchet didn't think he could do anything.

I sat down against the wall of the alleyway as the pain I had been ignoring finally overwhelmed me. My range was still enormous.

I was going to hear Ravage offline.

Ratchet knelt by my fallen symbiont and started tying off energon lines, frantically working to stop the leaking before Ravage completely ran dry. Searchlight and Breeze just stood and watched. Searchlight was injured. His elbow joint had been bent wrong and it hurt so badly he was shaking, but he wasn’t going to say anything.

Ravage's spark flickered.

I let out a quiet stuttering wail. I wanted to run, but I couldn't leave. There was nothing that could have convinced me to leave. I had to stay here and watch and listen as Searchlight and Breeze stood, not daring to move, and Ratchet analyzed damage and stuck his hands in Ravage's internals, and Ravage's life force faded in and out.

Primus, please don't let him offline. Please.

We'd tried so hard. We'd succeeded. He couldn't be offlining. Ratchet was tempted to give up, but knew he'd never be able to live with himself if he did. 

After another few breems, Ravage stabilized a little. Ratchet got out a cube of energon, carefully pried open Ravage's jaw and let it trickle in. Ravage had lost a lot of energon.

When the cube was half empty, Ratchet subspaced it, and braced himself to start working again.

And then a mech came into my range. The mech who'd kidnapped Ravage. He'd followed the trail of energon. He was coming for my cat.

I pushed away from the wall and got to my pedes. "Y-y-you nee-eed…" Fragging stutter. We didn't have time. I tried to make my voice as emotionless as possible. "You need to go-o."

"Huh?" Searchlight asked.

I bent down and picked up Ravage.

"Hey!" Ratchet got up and I put my cat in Searchlight's arms. "Go now," I said. "No-o-ow."

The mech came around the corner. Searchlight saw him.  _ I'm not leaving you here. _

Yes he was. He couldn't help me. He was injured. I could handle this. "I'll follow," I said.

"Hey! You mechlings!"

Searchlight looked down at Ravage, then back up, and made the decision to trust me.  _ I'm coming back for you,  _ he thought and then started running. Breeze and Ratchet followed him, leaving me to face Ravage's kidnapper—the mech responsible for all of this.

I was exhausted and my helm felt like it was splitting open. But the anger in my core strengthened me. I felt it coursing through me, burning in my energon lines.

The mech charged me, trying to knock me over and go after my friends, but I sidestepped and tripped him. He scrambled back to his pedes, but I was already ahead of him and blocking the way again.

He growled and threw a punch at me, but it was sloppy. I dodged him easily. He shifted one hand into a blade, and I dodged that too, then sent him to the ground again. Normally, I would have been able to keep this up for a long time, but I could feel myself shaking, despite—and perhaps also because of—the rage that was keeping me on my pedes. I needed to end this quickly.

The mech got up again and I danced back, dodging and ducking, barely escaping his blade. I shoved him over a third time, but this time he didn't fall as hard and was back up more quickly.

"Who the pit are you?" he asked.

I stood still, letting him take in my screen and my strange, willowy build.

Then I laughed.

He froze.

I used his moment of fear to turn the tide. I went on the offensive, pushing him back forcing him to block, but also trying to stay clear of his knife. I managed to push him over backwards and then laughed again. He got to his pedes and ran, and I chased him back to the mouth of the alley and listened as he transformed and drove away, terrified.

Then I leaned against the wall of the alley with a moan. My helm hurt, and Ravage was barely online, and I'd gotten maybe two or three joors of recharge in as many orns.

But it wasn't over yet.

I turned and trudged back down the way the others had gone. Searchlight, true to his word, came back for me, catching up at the other end of the street. We both stopped.

"What happened to that other mech?"

Really?

"Oh, okay, I'll ask later when you can talk. He's not still a problem, is he?"

Oh, he was still a problem. Just not for us, not right now. I shook my helm.

_ You okay? I mean, obviously not, but are you going to be fine walking all the way back to school? _

I nodded.

We walked.

We caught up to Ratchet and Breeze, who'd stopped in another street and waited while the medical student worked on Ravage.

Eventually, he sat back. "Let's take him back to the school. He's stable, for now."

Searchlight bent to pick Ravage up. He gritted his denta as his injured arm protested.

I held out my arms. Give him to me.

"You can barely walk mech."

I didn't move.

"Searchlight, let him." Breeze said.

He gave Ravage to me.

I carried him home.

* * *

We all ended up in Searchlight's room. I set Ravage down on the floor and Ratchet worked on him a little more. He didn't have what he needed to do all the necessary repairs, but he was doing what he could. When he ran out of things he knew how to do, he got up and sat on the edge of his berth.

"Well," he said, suddenly feeling exhausted. "He's stable, but you're going to want a real medic."  _ Provided we force feed him energon he'll live for at least a decaorn. But he needs to stay in stasis or he's not going to be a happy cat…  _ "Do you happen to either have some credit, and/or know someone who can repair Ravage?"

I nodded.

_ Lakes,  _ Searchlight thought. "Yeah. We do. It'll work out."  _ We can take him after classes next orn. We might not be able to stay very long. We'd have to leave him there over the off-cycle. _

I couldn't do that.

Breeze sighed.  _ That was the most horrible thing in my life. At least Ravage is going to be okay…  _ she looked around. "You're all covered in energon."

Ratchet looked down at his hands.

"I don't think the wash racks are open right now," Breeze said.

"We'll just go early, before classes start," Ratchet said.

Breeze nodded. She'd managed to avoid getting any on her.

"And since you don't need to do that, it would be nice if you try to steal some more energon from the energon hall, for Ravage. He'll need extra while he's healing. He's definitely in stasis, so he could probably survive for quite a while without any, but he'll heal faster…"

Breeze nodded.

"And I'm sorry," Ratchet said to me. "I can't do any more. I can't fix him."  _ I'm a complete failure…  _ He shuttered his optics.

I shook my helm. Ravage had been dying, and would have been gone in just a few breems if Ratchet hadn't saved him. It had been so close… that could never happen again.

_ I don't feel well…  _ "I'm going to get some recharge, or try at least," Ratchet said.

"Hey, doc bot," Searchlight said.

Ratchet glared at him.  _ That's a new one. _

"Before that, could you take a look at my arm?"

"What!" Ratchet was suddenly alert again. He walked around Ravage to grab Searchlight's proffered arm.

"Ow!" Searchlight said.

"What the frag did you do?"

"Ow, I just twisted it wrong."

"How long has it been like this? Why didn't you tell me!"

"You were fixing Ravage," Searchlight said. "I didn't want to distract you. Ow! You're doing that on purpose!"

"Shut up," Ratchet said. "You deserve it… This isn't too hard to fix. But… you should go to Ochre."

"Can't," Searchlight said. "She asks too many questions. This needs to be as secret as possible. You can do it, mech."

"Well, I can, but not without it hurting a lot."

"It's fine."

"Maybe you should go to Ochre," Breeze suggested.

"If I go to Ochre, I'll have to wait until next orn," Searchlight said. "I don't want to wake her up, especially looking like this." He glanced down at the streaks of energon on his arms and torso.  _ Doubt she'll let something like this slide without demanding some answers. Scrap, this is Ravage's energon. _

"I told you," Ratchet said. "I don't have the tools or clearance to mess with your pain controls."

"It already hurts," Searchlight said. "It's okay, Ratch, I trust you. Just do it."

Ratchet looked back at Ravage's still frame.  _ I can't do this. I can't be a medic. I quit. I'd have to deal with this sort of thing the rest of my life, and I can't do that. I feel like I'm going to pass out or cry or something.  _ He put a shaking, energon-covered hand to his faceplate. "I can't," he whispered.

Searchlight rolled his optics, but then sighed.  _ Sometimes I forget he's younger than us. Still…  _ "Never mind," he said. "I'm sorry."  _ I'll just go see Ochre next orn. _

_ I don't want him to be in pain all off-cycle, though…  _ Ratchet thought.

"Ratchet?"

"Shut up," Ratchet said again. "I'll fix your fragging arm, but just this once.  _ Don't  _ get yourself hurt again."

"You don't have to if you…"

"Just stop talking," Ratchet said, and stood. "The rest of you are free to go, unless either of you are injured." His gaze lingered on me, but I shook my helm. It still felt like it was about to fall apart, but that wasn't an injury. That was normal.

He wasn't sure if he believed me, but he decided to let it slide for now because he didn't want to deal with it. "Soundwave, you should take Ravage to your room and try to get some recharge."  _ I'll show up early in the on-cycle to check on him. _

I nodded and scooped Ravage up.

Breeze didn't really want to leave, but she was exhausted too, so she followed me out the door and left, heading to the stairs that led up to the floor her room was on.

I went to my room and set Ravage down on the floor. Memories of the fight—feeling that symbiont die, watching Ravage lose—flashed through my processor. I lay down on the floor next to my cat and curled up around him with my helm right next to his. I couldn't hear anything from him, since he was in stasis, but I could feel his spark energy faintly, and hear his engine with my audios. He was online. He would be all right.

I turned off my screen, waiting for my processor ache to go away. But despite that, and all the anxiety and trauma of the off-cycle, it wasn't long before I slipped into recharge.

  
  



	35. Adventures

Dawn came too quickly. I dragged myself to my pedes and headed to my first class. My range was still too large—it hadn't had time to shrink yet—and so school was terrible. I could hear the classes in the rooms around me, and even a few mecha on the floors above and below. By the time we got to Yoketron's class, my processor ache was just as bad as it had been the off-cycle before.

Fortunately, Yoketron just told Searchlight and I to practice on the side of the room by ourselves and went to teach the other students. Neither of us particularly felt like sparring so we stood off to the side and pretended every time Yoketron looked our way. Ratchet had been able to fix Searchlight's elbow, but it still ached a little, and I was almost recharging on my pedes—or would have been if my helm didn't hurt so much.

Our fake practicing didn't fool Yoketron for long but he decided not to say anything until we met with him privately after classes. Maybe we could ask to take this orn off too. I wanted to bring Ravage to Lakes as soon as possible.

After our classes were over, we met in Yoketron's classroom.

"Good orn," Searchlight said.  _ We need to find a way to talk ourselves out of this. I doubt we'll be able to pretend—he'll know something's not right. _

"Good orn," Yoketron replied.  _ They've been up to something. They've been sloppy and unfocused for orns.  _ "Were you ever able to find your cat?"

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "We did, actually."

_ Hmm…  _ "That sounds like an interesting story."

"Not really," Searchlight said. "We just found him in an alley, kind of beat up. He'll be all right, though, we think. We're going to get him looked at by a medic." Searchlight was a little uncomfortable lying, especially lying to Yoketron, whose blue-white optics sometimes seemed to be staring right through him.

_ If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was lying.  _ Yoketron thought.  _ I wonder what he could be lying about? They seemed honest last orn when they told me about Soundwave’s cat going missing. What have they been up to?  _ "Well, I am glad to hear that. Let us begin."

"Actually," Searchlight said. "Uh, Master Yoketron, can we just meditate this orn?"

Yoketron stared at him, completely shocked.

"I know, I know," Searchlight said. "I hate meditating. But I… uh… kind of busted my elbow joint last orn and Soundwave's been super stressed about his missing cat so I don't think he's been getting enough recharge, and I just don't know if sparring's a good idea for either of us right now."

Yoketron studied him for a moment.  _ I believe him about the elbow and the recharge. They were just pretending during class and Soundwave has not been doing very well these past few orns. I hope whatever they've been doing that it's not going to jeopardize their ability to learn from me.  _ "Whatever you two aren't telling me…"

_ Oh scrap, he doesn't believe us,  _ Searchlight thought.

"…is it over?"

Searchlight looked down.  _ We got Ravage. But there's still that mech who kidnapped him. Didn't we decide we were going to find a way to stop him?  _ He glanced at me.

_ He's going to lie again,  _ Yoketron thought.

"It's…over." Searchlight said.

"I believe you are a naturally honest mech," Yoketron said. "Falsehoods do not become you."

"It's mostly over," Searchlight amended.  _ We got Ravage back and he's going to be ok. Only one loose end to deal with.  _ "But the part where we have a hard time sparring is over."

"And the part where you skip school?"

"That's over too."

"So you admit that you skipped school two orns ago."

"Yes," Searchlight said. "I'm sorry. The whole thing was my fault."  _ I should have watched Ravage more closely… _

"And does this really have anything to do with a symbiont?"

"Yes," Searchlight said. "That was the truth. It's just… a little complicated."

_ I could press harder and get the full story out of him.  _

"We were really looking for the cat that orn we skipped school. I promise that's the truth."

Yoketron wasn't satisfied. He believed Searchlight, at least. "Very well. I'd like to meet this symbiont sometime. It must mean quite a lot to you."

I nodded.

"And I insist that whatever part of this you're keeping to yourselves, it must be over. If you skip school again for any purpose that you are unwilling to explain to me in full detail, then I will stop teaching you. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Searchlight said.

"You may spend this time meditating, if that's really what you want to do."

Searchlight nodded.

We meditated. Or rather, Searchlight did. I did too, for about a breem, but then I slipped into recharge and didn't wake until the end of the joor, when Yoketron dismissed us.

* * *

I was fortunate. Only Lakes and Goldsky were there when I carried Ravage in, so I only had to listen to the two of them reacting to my symbiont's condition.

"Primus beneath," Lakes said. "Put him up here on the table. What happened?"

"He-e disappe-eared and we found him li-ike this," I said. It was the story we had all agreed on.

_I'm not supposed to repair other symbionts using supplies from the shelter, but I can't turn him away. This is really terrible. Whatever did this must have been dangerous. What the pit do they have roaming Kalis's streets that could do_ this? "Well, I think I can fix him. Don't tell anyone—I'm not technically allowed to repair symbionts that don't belong in the shelter… of course..." he scanned Ravage again. "I might need to keep him over the off-cycle anyway, to get all these repairs done." _Hmmm… someone did a good job tying off all his energon lines and making sure his vital systems are all working well enough to keep him online…_ "Did someone work on him already?"

I nodded. "Ratchet."

"The other student? Soundwave, you shouldn't take a risk like that… I guess you probably didn't have a choice."  _ I thought it must have been another medic… but now I see he didn't do anything you'd need special tools for… this is very good work.  _ "Is Ratchet a medicine emphasis?"

I nodded.

"Well, tell him he's going into the right field. He's definitely got the gift."  _ He certainly saved Ravage’s life.  _ "I'm going to set up in another room," Lakes said. "Can you keep an optic on things in here until Keepsake and Cam show up?"  _ They're supposed to be back pretty soon.  _ He picked Ravage up and carried him out of the room.

I wandered over to where Laserbeak was. She had been excited to see me at first but was now sulking because she'd realized she wasn't the reason I was here.

"Hi," I said.

She glared at me.  _ You had that cat the first time I met you,  _ she thought.  _ I don't like it. _

She didn't like anyone.

_ Can I come out? _

"I have to-o go soon," I said.

_ When are you going to take me with you? _

When she was well-behaved enough to live with Keepsake and Cam. They'd already offered to take her in for me, but it wasn't time yet.

I stuck my fingers in the cage. "I can't let y-you out right no-ow. And I can't ta-ake you with me yet. Be-e patient."

_ I don't want to be patient. _

Lakes came back in to get tools from his work bench, then left again. A large part of me wanted to follow him. It had been so hard to leave Ravage in my room all orn. I'd stopped in once or twice in between classes to check on him. The idea of leaving him here all off-cycle… but I had to because they probably wouldn't let me stay here. I knew he'd be all right, but… I wouldn't.

Keepsake and Cam showed up twenty breems later. Keepsake rushed over and embraced me. "I heard what happened to Ravage," she said. "I'm so sorry, and I'm so glad he's going to be all right."

I felt still-raw emotions rise up inside of me, and shoved them down. Not now.

_ Searchlight said he was barely online when they found him… at least they found him. Soundwave and that cat are inseparable.  _ She released me and held me out at arms length.  _ He said he was worried about Soundwave too.  _ "How are you holding up?"

I shrugged. Better now that the crisis was mostly over.

_ Poor mech.  _ "Well, everything will be all right now. Are you tired? Do you need energon? You're welcome to stop by our apartment on the way to the transit station if you want. You know the door code, right?"

I nodded.

She hugged me again. "You can tell me if you're not okay, you know."  _ He must have been so worried when Ravage went missing… _

She had no idea.

Her embrace was comforting, though, and so I stood there until she let me go again. "Thank you," I said, I lingered a while longer, but I didn't actually want to go in and watch Lakes take my cat apart and put him back together, so I left. I went straight to the transit station without dropping by Keepsake and Cam's apartment, and on the way back to school I slipped into recharge again and almost missed my stop.

Even though I was still exhausted, I didn't recharge very well that off-cycle. I kept waking up, panicking because Ravage was gone again.

* * *

School seemed to last for eternity the next orn and I left as soon as it was over. I only had enough credit for one more round trip on the mass transit, so until I got some more somehow, I'd have a hard time visiting Laserbeak. Logic dictated I should wait until the next orn off of school, but that was still five orns away.

Keepsake and Cam were there. Lakes wasn't, which was too bad because I'd wanted to talk to him.

Ravage was awake, sitting in a cage, feeling wary and still very sore.

"Oh, Soundwave," Keepsake said. "We thought you might turn up. Lakes was finished, so he let Ravage come back online. He's over there. Be careful, though. I think he's a bit traumatized, and he's been… very aggressive since waking up."

From the memories she'd just recalled, he had attacked Cam and Lakes, and they'd had to force him into the cage, which had only been possible because Ravage had still been halfway in stasis.

"He was asking for you earlier, though," Keepsake said.

Ravage sat, alert, watching me.

I went to kneel by his cage and he flinched back, momentarily frightened. I stared at him, feeling awful, listening to his fear and feeling the lingering pain from his injuries.

"Ravage," I said quietly.

"Soundwave… I heard you… you were there…"

"He said that before too," Keepsake said. "We aren't sure what it means. He hasn't said much else."  _ Just hisses at us when we get too close, poor thing. I'm glad Soundwave showed up. I wouldn't want to leave Ravage here all off-cycle. _

They should have waited until I was here to wake him up.

_ That thing… It was going to kill me… I passed out… I woke up here… I didn't know where you were. They shoved me in a cage and made me fight other symbionts with mecha watching, shouting… _

He retreated back farther into the cage, panicking as memories flashed through his processor.

"It's o-okay," I said. "I-I-It's over."

I reached my fingers through the bars and after a moment of hesitation, Ravage came up and rubbed his helm against them.  _ I was going to try to escape, but I couldn't. There was never a good opportunity. _

I needed to talk to him alone. "Wa-ant to go home?"

_ Yes. Get me out of here. Please… _

Keepsake tensed as I unlatched the cage, but Ravage just sprang out onto my shoulders. His claws scratched my paint and bit into my mesh a little, but though he was nervous, I knew he wasn't going to hurt me like Keepsake was worried he would.

I stood slowly to avoid startling him.

He saw Keepsake and growled softly which worried her. "Ravage, it's okay," she said.  _ I should warn Soundwave to be careful with him for a few orns. Whatever happened, it was really bad for that cat's sanity. _

I raised a hand slowly to stroke Ravage's helm. He relaxed a little and settled down on my shoulders.

"You're okay," I said quietly. "Kee-eepsake's not a-a threat."

Keepsake approached cautiously. Ravage glared at her but allowed her to pet him as well, though it made him nervous.

"Take good care of him," Keepsake said. "Make sure he gets plenty of energon—he's going to need extra while the repairs settle in."

I nodded.

"And... be careful with him outside. He's going to be easily startled… I'm not entirely sure you should take him on a transit."

"It's fine," I said. We couldn't very well walk back to Kalis. "Thanks, Keepsake."

She smiled. "Come back when you can. Laserbeak misses you when you're gone, and so do the rest of us, of course."  _ And I miss Searchlight. It's too bad the two of them can't both come. My little mechling's growing up without us. Sometimes I still wonder about sending him away to that school… but it's been good for him. _

I left the shelter. As Keepsake had warned, Ravage was jumpy. We went around the corner and I stopped to talk to him.

"Stay o-on my shoulders," I warned him.

_ I will. _

"We-e're go-oing to the transit stati-ion, then back to Ka-alis. Okay?"

He nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Ravage obediently stayed on my shoulders, but he hissed and flared his armor whenever anyone got too close. He usually made some mecha nervous, but now he was making everyone nervous. The mech at the station almost didn't want to let us on the transit.

Ravage was exhausted, but he stayed alert and defensive the whole transit ride home. In Kalis he was even more jumpy, and I was relieved when we got back to the school. I took him to my room, where he leaped off of my shoulders onto the desk. The impact jarred through him and he flinched. It would probably be a few orns before he fully integrated the repairs Lakes had done on him. And there were some things you had to let self-repair systems handle.

I sat down at the desk. I wanted to pet him, but he didn't want to be touched right now. He flicked his tail nervously, watching the shadows.

"I'm so-o so-orry," I said quietly.

_ Do you want to know what happened? _

No. Yes. "Only i-if you want to-o tell me."

Memories ran through his processor as he thought about his experiences. He knew he didn't need to say anything. I would understand anyway.

When he was finished, he curled up in the corner where the desk met the walls and watched the room warily. He wasn't even sure what he was afraid of, only that he was scared.

I hoped this wore off quickly. "Ravage?"

He looked at me.

"You kno-ow I won't let a-anythi-ing hurt you. Ne-e-ever aga-ain."

Ravage nodded, but only relaxed a little.

I sat watching him for several breems, then got out some homework. Eventually, Ravage slipped into recharge, calmed by my presence and the familiarity of the room.

I was glad he was finally resting. He wasn't really himself at the moment, but he was back, and we could let this whole thing fade into the past now.

* * *

A joor before lights out, Searchlight came into my range. He approached the door and I realized too late that I should probably go open it before….

*ping* The entry request went off. Ravage started out of recharge and I ducked as he leaped over me to land on the floor, tail spike out and armor flared.

I got up. "It's Se-earchlight," I said, and went to open the door. Searchlight came in, but stopped when Ravage growled threateningly at him.

"Hey, Ravage," he said. "Good to have you back."  _ He does not look like he's in a good mood, but he's repaired at least.  _ "'Wave, any chance you're up for practicing this orn?'  _ it's been a while. We need to start that up again. _

I shook my helm. Not this orn. This orn, I had to stay with Ravage. I had a  _ lot  _ of homework to catch up on too.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Let me know if there's anything I can do… oh, wait." He pulled a cube of energon out of subspace. "Here. Thought you might want this since I doubt you've had a chance to go to the energon hall. See you next orn, 'Wave." He handed me the cube of energon and left.  _ We have like four empty cubes between all of us and so we can sneak as much of that stuff as we want out of the energon hall. _

I set the cube on the desk. Ravage hesitated, still watching the closed door. But hunger won out and, after a few astroseconds, he hopped up onto the desk. He got through more than half of the cube before he was finished. I took the rest, then went back to my homework as Ravage slipped into recharge again.

* * *

Ravage was a little better the next orn. He wasn't happy when I left for class, but by the time I'd come back, it seemed like his emotions had settled somewhat.

He greeted me by jumping onto my shoulders, purring.

"Y-you're really happy to see me-e."

"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

I nodded and sat down on my berth. He climbed into my lap and lay there. Since my last upgrade, he almost, almost fit in my lap if he curled up as small as he could.

I wrapped my arms around him. His engine hummed.

"I hope that never happens again," he said.

"I won't let i-it."

Ravage nodded. He believed me.

"Do you wa-ant to go to Se-earchlight's room?"

Ravage considered that.  _ I haven't seen Ratchet or Breeze since coming back. It would be good to see them.  _ "Yes."

He climbed back onto my shoulders.

"And you still need to tell me how you found me… you were there." He stiffened a little as he relived the fight in his memories. "I heard you. I saw you… how did I get to the shelter from there?"

"Searchlight wi-ill tell the story be-etter," I said as we left my room.

Out in the hallway, Ravage's nervousness came back. He flared his armor and hissed at the students who were unfortunate enough to pass by us going the other direction. That was a bad sign. He was allowed at the school in part because he was so well-behaved. But there was something wild in him now that had awakened—something from his vorns as a street cat—and I was fairly certain that if anyone got too close or threatened him, he would attack without thinking.

He was already feeling better, though—the pain from his injuries was barely more than a memory. Hopefully the emotional damage would fade as well, and he'd go back to normal. Until then, I'd have to be extra careful.

Searchlight and Ratchet were in their room, having a surprisingly civil conversation about whether science or history was more interesting to study. Ratchet thought they were both interesting, but favored science. Searchlight thought history was the lesser of two evils.

They looked up when the door opened and Ravage and I came in.

"Ravage," Ratchet stood, and my cat hissed threateningly at him.

Ratchet froze.  _ Primus… he's still not all right, is he? _

I went and sat down at Searchlight's desk, and Ratchet watched my cat carefully, wishing he could get close enough to analyze his repairs. He wanted to make sure everything had been fixed. Ravage relaxed a little, but still felt wary.

"Rav?" Searchlight said. "How are you doing?"  _ Has he talked at all? If he's stopped talking, that's a bad sign. _

Ravage deflated a little, looking at Searchlight. "I'm okay. Soundwave said you could tell me what happened…I remember… were you there too?"

"During the fight?"

Ravage tensed, armor bristling again.

"Whoa," Searchlight said. "Calm down, mech. It's over. It's never happening again, ever. You want to hear the story? It was pretty epic. Probably the awesomest thing we've done yet."

Ravage settled down on my shoulders to listen.

"So," Searchlight said. "Breeze and Ratchet and I, we just felt awful when you disappeared. We looked for you until the sun went down and couldn't find you and then the worst part was waiting here for Soundwave to come back for the off-cycle so we could tell him we'd lost you."

Ravage curled his tail around my neck.

"As you can imagine," Searchlight continued, "He  _ insisted  _ that we go looking for you first thing the next orn…"

I remembered the panic of that off-cycle, my inability to recharge, and the desperate, agonizing need to go out into the dark city and find Ravage. The only thing that had kept me in the building that off-cycle was the hopeless improbability of actually finding him.

Searchlight kept talking. He told how we'd sneaked out of school, how I refused to rest until I'd discovered what had happened. Somehow he made me sound brave and loyal, when in reality I had only been terrified. Losing Ravage was something from my worst nightmares, something unthinkable, something that would destroy me.

Searchlight told the story. From his perspective, it had been a grand adventure. He described our discovery of the symbiont fights and our infiltration, narrating with broad gestures and dramatic pauses and heavy use of words like "awesome" and "epic."

At some point early on in the re-telling, Breeze came down the hallway, but she just stood outside the door, smiling as she listened to Searchlight's narration. She admired the way he could turn something so real and frightening into a fun, fictional-sounding escapade. She guessed correctly from his tone that he was talking to my cat, trying to comfort him, explaining the story in a way that would make things better.

Searchlight was talking to Ravage, but the rest of us were listening too, and it was helping us as well. He didn't realize what he was doing, not really. Breeze did, though, and because she did, I did.

Searchlight led us through the events of that off-cycle, all the way to the happy ending, and left us here, in the present.

Breeze sighed, smiling to herself, but then remembered that Searchlight didn't think of her as anything more than a friend. She suddenly didn't feel like joining us anymore.

Ravage cautiously climbed down from my shoulders and went over to sit by Ratchet's chair. "Sorry I hissed at you," he said.

Ratchet…actually smiled at him. "It's okay," he said, and reached out. Ravage nervously stretched up to rub his helm against Ratchet's hand.

Breeze realized that I was probably in here, and could hear her thinking.  _ Oh… hi Soundwave… that's awkward. I guess I should come in. _

"Wait!" I said.

Ravage jumped.

The door opened, and Breeze stepped in, nearly stumbling over Ravage.

None of us were fast enough to do anything. Ravage spun and leaped at her in a panicked fury of claws and teeth.

"Breeze!"

"No-o!"

Breeze raised her arms to shield her faceplate, screaming as my cat's claws tore through her mesh. I leaped forward and dragged Ravage off of her. Ravage squirmed free of my grasp and climbed up to my shoulders, growling viciously.

Breeze stumbled back, venting in shallow gasps, and all of us stared as bright blue energon dripped from her arm to the ground.

"Breeze," Searchlight said again, approaching her.

She shuttered her optics, still in shock, though the pain was catching up. I backed farther away, taking Ravage with me. She had two deep gashes on her arm, and one on the corner of her faceplate.

"Oh, scrap," Searchlight said.

Breeze let out a quiet wail.

"Hey, it's okay," Searchlight walked over and put an arm around her. "We'll take you to Ochre."

_ We can't…  _ Breeze thought.  _ Ravage… _

"Come on, you're okay," he steered her out of the room.  _ I'll be back, 'Wave. You stay here. _

They left.

"What was that for!" Ratchet glared at us. Ravage put his helm down, feeling helpless and ashamed. He didn't know what had come over him.

I waited for Breeze and Searchlight to go around the corner.

"What the pit was that?" Ratchet said again, "You attacked her!"

Ravage growled, suddenly feeling threatened. He was going to snap again.

We couldn't stay here. I walked toward the door.

Ratchet called after us as we left, but I didn't listen. I carried Ravage all the way to my room, then locked the door and sat on the berth. Ravage leaped off of my shoulders and sat next to me.

Ravage had attacked Breeze.

Ravage had attacked someone.

I couldn't get the image of her faceplate—horrified and leaking from a gash on her chin—out of my processor.

Ravage had hurt her.

"Soundwave?" Ravage said cautiously. "I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to do that… I'm sorry."

I didn't move.

I should have been more careful. I shouldn't have let this happen.

"Don't be mad at me."

I reached out slowly to stroke behind his audios. "It's no-ot your fault," I said.

Searchlight showed up at my door at some point, maybe half a joor later. I let him in, because I knew he wasn't going to leave until he'd talked to me.

"I told you to stay in my room," he said after the door closed behind him. "You okay?"

I nodded. Ravage leaped down and crouched between the two of us, armor flared, uncertain. His instincts were telling him Searchlight was a threat, though he knew he was a friend.

"Breeze?" I asked.

"She's okay," Searchlight said.  _ Ochre's fixing her up, and she'll be fine.  _ "I think we even managed to convince Ochre that Breeze fell down the stairs again, and landed on something sharp, though she seemed pretty suspicious. I'd keep Ravage in here for a couple of decaorns."

I nodded. Already planning on that.

"She might have a scar on her faceplate," Searchlight said.  _ Just a little one, though. It might look kind of cool… _

I looked down.

Ravage deflated a little "I'm really sorry," he said.

"I think she'll forgive you," Searchlight sat down on the ground so he was level with my cat. "You're just kind of freaked out right now. That's understandable."  _ She understands… I wish I'd been fast enough to get in between them. It should have been me. We'd be able to tell Keepsake and Cam, because they'd get it. But Breeze is going to have to lie to her creators if we want you to be able to stay here… _

"I don't know why…" Ravage said.

"Hey," Searchlight held out a hand cautiously, and Ravage slowly, nervously approached and let Searchlight pet him. "So…" he looked up at me. "If they figure out it was Ravage, they probably won't let him stay here at the school. I don't think they would expel you."

"If Ra-avage leaves, I le-eave," I said.

Searchlight nodded.

"I…" I'd given it a little bit of thought before Searchlight had shown up. "I could stay wi-ith Cre-escent."

She wouldn't be happy about that, and I definitely wasn't happy about it either, but it was better than starting over at another school.

"Hopefully, it won't come to that," Searchlight said.  _ Especially since I don't know how well Ravage would react to seeing Crescent right now. _

Yeah, that might not be good.

* * *

The next orn brought bad news. Searchlight, Ratchet and Breeze showed up outside my room before classes. I warned Ravage, then went to open the door. I already knew what they were going to tell me.

Breeze was doing better, though her faceplate still hurt. There wasn't much you could do about a faceplate. They filed into my room. Ravage leaped up onto my shoulders, staring at Breeze with a sick, guilty feeling in his core.

"Hey," Breeze said. "I just wanted to stop in and say goodbye."

I nodded.

"What?" Ravage said.

"My creators are pulling me out of the school." She looked down. "Something about how many times I've gotten hurt…"  _ When the bullies pushed me down the stairs, and now this, and they weren't too happy about me getting lost during that field trip last term either… _

"I'm sorry," I said.

"This is my fault, isn't it?" Ravage said.

"No, it's not your fault," Breeze said.

"I'm so sorry I…"

"It's okay, Ravage," Breeze said. "I'll just… talk them into letting me come back." She glanced at Searchlight and Ratchet. "It shouldn't be too hard. I'll be back in a few decaorns, hopefully."  _ Maybe…probably not. But I can't just give up. I need these mechs, I doubt I'll find friends like them anywhere else, and Searchlight... there's only one Searchlight. You know, I wonder what would happen if there  _ were  _ more than one Searchlight. I don't know if the world would be able to contain two. It might spontaneously combust or something. _

"Breeze?" Searchlight said.

She looked up, remembering that she was in the middle of a conversation. She sighed. "I'm going to miss all of you… but I'll keep in touch until I can convince them to let me come back. I promise." She met Searchlight's optics, but couldn't hold his gaze for long. "I need to go finish packing."

"Hey," Searchlight said. "We are all still friends, that's not going to change. Just get back here soon. Don't give up until they let you come back."

She smiled at him, and turned to leave.

Searchlight looked down once she was gone. "This is not all right," he said. "I wonder if I could talk to her creators…"

"Don't," I said. From Breeze's thoughts, I'd picked up that she'd told them a little about Searchlight and they already didn't have a very high opinion of him. If he tried to talk them into letting her come back, it would probably make things worse.

"She's never coming back, is she?" Ratchet asked.

Searchlight glared at him. "You're the world's worst pessimist. She will come back."

We all wanted to believe that.


	36. Confessions

[How is everything going?]

I studied Breeze's message for a few astroseconds, then glanced around my room. [Not too bad] I replied. It had only been two orns, but Ravage was doing much better. Of course, I hadn't taken him out into the hallways again. I was pretty sure that Ochre suspected he'd been the one to attack Breeze, and I could absolutely not risk him even threatening anyone else. 

[I'm still trying to talk my creators into letting me go back to your school. It's exhausting. I think they'll cave eventually, though.]

I wished I could tell if that was the truth, or if she was just trying to convince me.

[How's Ravage?] she asked.

[Much better. And you?]

[Just fine. My creators took me to a specialist to make sure my faceplate doesn't scar. They were able to do a pretty good job repairing it, though you can still kind of see a little bit. Honestly, I wouldn't mind a scar too much.]

I would mind. I was ready to put the whole fiasco behind me, and I didn't want reminders of it.

[How are Ratchet and Searchlight doing?]

[They're okay. We all miss you, though.]

She probably wanted to know if Searchlight in particular was missing her. I wasn't sure what to tell her. He did complain about her being gone all the time, and was still pretty upset about it. But I didn't want to give her false hope. Maybe he  _ did  _ like her, but he hadn't realized it yet, and I didn't think his chances of realizing it any time soon were very good.

[I hope I can come back soon. I'm going to get so behind in my classes.]

[How long, do you think?]

[My femme creator's almost on my side, maybe. It will probably still take a while. But I'm not giving up.]

Searchlight's stubbornness was like an infectious virus. I honestly didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

[Of course, I have to admit it's nice to be in Praxus again. I really miss the place when I'm gone. It's worth it, though. You mechs are the best friends I've ever had.]

Ravage hopped off of my shoulders onto the desk and yawned.

[And I mean that. Not just Searchlight, you and Ratchet and Ravage too.]

[Thanks.]

[At least we can stay in touch this way.]

Yes, there was that, though it wasn't the same.

* * *

Life was surprisingly different with Breeze gone. I had expected everything to go back to normal after a few orns, but it didn't. She had brought a kind of stability to the group. Without it, we were still friends, but we didn't get along as well, especially Searchlight and Ratchet.

Without Breeze to talk to, Searchlight got really bored. And when he got bored, he got into trouble even more than usual. It was a good thing we could practice Circuit-Su after school.

Decaorns passed and things did settle a little, but Searchlight held onto a stubborn hope that Breeze would come back. I held on to that hope too, not only because I missed her but because I hadn't realized how much she contributed toward keeping my maniac of a best friend out of trouble.

* * *

Searchlight sat down on his berth and checked his datapad to see if Breeze had messaged him. "She ought to be back here by now. She said a couple of decaorns, and it's been almost a whole quartex."

"She's not coming back," Ratchet said. "I told you. She said they signed her up for a different school. You can stop complaining about it. And aren't you supposed to be in detention?"

Searchlight sighed. "Do you ever say anything positive, Doc Bot?"

"Don't call me that!"

"You are going to be the most unpleasant medic in the history of ever. You'll get a patient in and he'll be like 'Doctor, I tripped and broke my ankle' and you'll be like 'you fool, you've doomed yourself! You're going to offline now, there's nothing I can do to save you…’"

Searchlight rolled off the berth and landed in a crouch on the floor, just as a datapad flew over his helm. "Whoa, did you see that? I didn't even look and I dodged."  _ I'm a total ninja. _

A stylus hit him in the faceplate.

He ducked his helm, grinning. "Ow! My optic!"

"What?" Ratchet spun to look at him.

Searchlight laughed. "Got you."

"Searchlight!"

"You should have seen the look on your faceplate."

I got up and walked toward the door. I should go spend some time with Ravage.

"No!" Ratchet said. "Don't leave me here with this lunatic."

I shrugged and left the room. I heard their conversation as I walked away.

"That was also really negative."

"Just shut up."

"I actually don't think I've ever heard you say a single positive thing in all the time I've known you."

"Funny," Ratchet snapped. "That's about as often as I've heard you come up with a good idea."

Searchlight grinned and got back to his pedes.

I walked out of range.

I'd brought Ravage to their room a couple of times. He was doing better out in the hallways, now, but he was still kind of jumpy, so most of the time I left him in my room. I really ought to go visit Laserbeak sometime, but I didn't have any more credit. She'd be angry at me next time I showed up. Oh well. Nothing I could do about it.

* * *

The next couple of orns, Breeze didn't write any of us at all. Searchlight had started to think maybe she'd found new friends and forgotten us, but I doubted that. I was a little worried, though.

At least, I was worried until a few orns later, when Searchlight and I came back came back from practicing with Master Yoketron to find that Breeze had returned.

I knew before we got to Searchlight's room, of course. This must be why she had stopped talking to us. She'd probably wanted to surprise us. She and Ratchet were sitting in pleasant silence—him doing homework, and her doodling on a datapad. I could tell how happy Ratchet was that she was back, because he was borderline cheerful.

She stopped drawing and subspaced the datapad when she heard Searchlight's voice.

"…no way we could pull that off without getting in trouble, but I'm still not giving up on the idea…" we walked through the door. Breeze stood.

"Breeze!"

She smiled. "I'm back."

He rushed her and almost knocked her over with a hug. "You're back! Yes! Oh, Primus, we missed you!"

Her vents heated up.  _ He's hugging me. What is going on? _

Searchlight released her and backed away a step, oblivious as usual to her reaction. "Why didn't you tell us you were coming? I thought you'd forgotten about us."

"Well," she shrugged. "I thought it would be a nice surprise."  _ He hugged me… I think I need to sit down now. _

"You would not believe how much we need you. Ratchet and I have been driving each other crazy without you to keep the peace."

_ Oh… okay.  _ "Thanks… I guess… I mean…"

"I mean, mostly, I've been driving  _ him  _ up the wall, so I'm sure he's pretty relieved. But I'm still really glad you're back too. Our friends group just isn't quite complete without you."

_ Friends group…yep.  _ "Thanks." She looked down.  _ I worked so hard to convince my creators to let me come back, and now they're mad at me and I hoped maybe… Ugh. I should just give up. For one moment I thought… _

"So," Searchlight said, then frowned.  _ She doesn't look happy.  _ "What?"

She shrugged and forced a smile. "I'm just glad to be back. I… need to go… unpack stuff. I'll see you in class." She ducked past Searchlight and left the room.

He frowned after her.  _ Wait, what? Did that seem weird to anyone else?  _ "Hey, wait," he followed her, but by the time he reached the doorway, she was already turning the corner.

Searchlight looked at me.  _ Did she just...? Is she okay? _

Ratchet looked up from his homework.  _ What's her problem? As soon as Searchlight and Soundwave show up, she leaves? _

"What was that?" Searchlight asked out loud this time. They were both looking at me now. I shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. "Come on," Searchlight said. "She looked upset about something."

They knew I must know why she'd left. I shrugged again. It wasn't my business, and she didn't want me to tell him. But if I didn't say something, Searchlight would probably go and talk to her and make her feel even worse. "She's tired," I said. "And still fi-ighting with her cre-eators."

Searchlight looked down.  _ I hope that's not my fault for insisting she convince them to let her come back… Even so…  _ "That doesn't explain why she left so fast. You'd think she'd want to hang out since we haven't seen each other for so long."

I looked at him.

Ratchet snorted. "Femmes. Who  _ knows  _ why they do what they do. They get offended by the most insignificant things..."

Searchlight glared at him. "Well, you're one to talk. Ratchet."

Ratchet rolled his optics.  _ Whatever. _

"Besides, what would she have been offended about?" Searchlight thought back to what he'd said. "I just told her how happy we are to have her back. I don't see what's upsetting about that."

Ratchet also thought back to the conversation, what Searchlight had said, how Breeze had reacted.  _ Wait…  _ "Oh."

"What?" Searchlight asked.

Ratchet made a face. "Forget about it."

"What?" Searchlight demanded.

"I'm staying completely out of this," Ratchet said. "Primus,  _ femmes. _ "

"What are you talking about?" Searchlight demanded. "What did I say? Why won't you just tell me so I can apologize to her next time I…"

"She  _ likes  _ you, you imbecile!" Ratchet shouted.

I wondered if Breeze had been close enough to hear that. Probably not. She'd had plenty of time to get back to her room and out of hearing range by now.

"Wha…" Searchlight said.

Ratchet snorted and turned back to his homework. "Like I said, I'm staying out of this."

"But…" Searchlight looked at me. "But…"  _ She can't like me. You would have known, right? You would have told me. _

I just looked at him.

_ She  _ likes  _ me? _

I shrugged. Yep.

He shook his helm slowly, having a hard time integrating this. "But… are you sure? How come you never said anything?"

I shrugged again.

"And here I thought I could trust you."

"She-e made me promise," I said.

He sat down on his berth, trying to think back to all the conversations he'd had with her in the past, looking for hints, but he still couldn't see it. He was kind of in shock.  _ I should go talk to her… no, I can't… this changes things. I wonder how long… Primus.  _ "Okay," he said.  _ What do I do now? _

Poor Breeze. Things were probably going to get kind of tricky from here on out.

_ What do I do now? She doesn't know I know, so I could just keep acting normal, I guess. If that's even possible. This is so crazy.  _ "I don't want her to know that I know. Don't say anything. That goes for both of you. It will mess everything up."  _ I don't know how long that will last considering this is Ratchet I'm talking to. _

"As I said before, I intend to stay out of it," Ratchet said.

Searchlight looked at me.  _ Promise? _

"Fi-ine," I said, standing and heading for the door. I needed to go get Ravage. Maybe I'd just stay in my room the rest of the orn. I was tempted to follow Ratchet's example and vow to stay out of this completely. But it was going to mess things up. This would be worse than when she was gone— worse for everyone including me because they’d  _ both  _ be awkward about it.

I hesitated. Could I fix it somehow? "Searchlight." I stopped in the doorway and turned around, trying to figure out exactly what I needed to say.

He looked up at me. "Yeah?"

"Think a-about this." I said. "y-you spent the last quartex mi-iserable because she wasn't here."

He looked down.

"So wha-atever you do, don't do a-anything that will push her awa-ay."

Then I turned again and left.

* * *

I had been worried that Searchlight would try to hide his feelings from Breeze, and that it would make everything painfully awkward between them. But I should have known better. Searchlight didn't possess a whole lot of common sense, but he also didn't possess a lot of patience, or self-consciousness, or a sense of self-preservation, so by the next orn he had decided he liked Breeze too, and was ready to profess his love for her in front of the whole world.

This was going to turn in to a completely different kind of mess than I'd imagined before.

I slammed Searchlight to the ground again.

"Ow. Sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

"I know," I said as I helped him get back up. He had been watching the other students, one in particular. We were in third joor, and Breeze had showed up a little late so he hadn't had an opportunity to talk to her before class.

A few astroseconds later, I knocked him to the ground again. He got up and glanced over at Breeze, who happened to look at him at the same time. Their gazes locked, for a moment. Then she raised an optic ridge and turned back to face the other student she was practicing with.

I knocked Searchlight's pedes out from under him and he fell again.

"Hey!" He got up and charged at me, but I dodged out of the way. Master Yoketron shot us a disapproving look.

_ Circuit-Su, not wrestling, mechlings. _

We fell back into our fighting pattern. We were still improving. Master Yoketron had started bringing students from his more advanced classes to train with us so that we could practice with mecha who had different fighting styles. Searchlight enjoyed the challenge of sparring against them, but I had to pretend not to be as good as I was when they were there, because I didn't want anyone to realize that I already knew things Yoketron hadn't taught me yet.

Searchlight was getting really good—not as good as me, but he could usually hold his own pretty well. Except for this orn. This orn, he was terrible.

By the end of class he still hadn't managed to focus. Master Yoketron held us back as he dismissed the others. Breeze and Ratchet, headed for the door with everyone else. Searchlight desperately gestured for them to wait, but they didn't notice.

"Searchlight," Yoketron said.

Searchlight turned back to face our teacher. "Yes, Master Yoketron?"

"You aren't doing very well this orn."

"I apologize," Searchlight said.

_ They're quite proficient, though. If they want, I can put them in some competitions. That might help motivate them to improve more quickly. I should talk to them about it during our private lesson.  _ "Please try to muster a little more focus in the future," Master Yoketron said.

"Yes, Master Yoketron."

"Thank you."

"Can we go?"

Yoketron raised an optic ridge. "I suppose so."

"Thank you, Master Yoketron," Searchlight said, and turned to run out the door.

Yoketron looked at me.

I shrugged, and followed him at a slower pace.

* * *

He caught up to Breeze about halfway to her next class.

"Hey!" he said. "Wait up!"

Breeze hesitated, then slowed, while the other students around her passed by. Searchlight skidded to a stop next to her. I stayed back, listening, but not really wanting to participate. I honestly wasn't sure what was going to happen, but it was bound to be entertaining.

"Breeze," Searchight said. "I need to talk to you."

"Uh…" Breeze said. "Okay?"

He suddenly wasn't quite sure what to say. "Uh… well, first off, I'm really sorry about last orn."

She raised an optic ridge.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I…"

"Oh," Breeze said. "No, it's fine. I'm sorry for storming out. I was just tired I guess."

"It's not fine. It was totally my fault."

"Searchlight, it  _ is _ fine. I don't want you to feel bad."

"I didn't mean to make you feel like you're part of the group,” he blurted.

She stared at him.

"Gah, no, that didn't come out right," Searchlight put a hand to his faceplate.

Breeze hesitated. "Are you okay?"

"No. I mean, yes. I’m okay. I'm great. Breeze…"

_ He is acting really weird. _

_ She's looking at me like she thinks I've gone crazy or something. _

_ I guess he just feels bad for offending me…I didn't realize he noticed that.  _ "You don't need to apologize," she said. "I already forgave you. I know you didn't mean…"

"No, I need to try that again. Give me a moment."

"We're going to be late for class."

He held up a hand. "Breeze, I'm really sorry that I made it sound like I only missed you because… look, you  _ are  _ the peacemaker in our group, and you  _ are  _ important to me as a friend, but… I missed you more than that."

Her optics widened.  _ What! _

"I'm kind of an idiot, which you know, of course. And I didn't realize it until… well, until last orn, actually."

_ This is not real. This is not happening. _

"When I'm talking to you… I'm always happy. And with you gone…"

_ There is no way he is really saying this. _

"…It was like...everything was wrong somehow. Like I was missing a part of—"

"Stop!" Breeze said, venting hard.

He stopped.

"Don't say anything else," Breeze said. "If you get any cheesier I'm probably going to wake up."

He stared at her.

The late bell rang.

She turned and ran, leaving him standing in the empty hallway, feeling slightly confused.

It was all I could do to keep from laughing.

He turned and walked back toward me. I pushed away from the wall when he reached me.

He glared. "Stop smirking."

I flung my hands up in only half-real exasperation, then watched him round the corner before heading to my next class.

* * *

"Before I let you leave, there's something I want to talk to you two about," Master Yoketron said.

"Okay," Searchlight replied.

I nodded.

I'd had the whole joor to think about it, so I almost knew what I wanted to say.

"We're nearly halfway through the term," Yoketron said. "And you have both done well. You are quick and dedicated learners, and I know how hard you've been working."

"Thank you." Searchlight spoke for both of us.

"With that said, I think that by the end of this term—perhaps even before the end of the term—you would both be ready to enter some of the lower level competitions against students from other schools."

"Really?" Searchlight said.

Master Yoketron nodded.  _ The competition part isn't my favorite, but it does often motivate the students to practice harder.  _ "Not yet, of course, but soon. I want you to have that in your processor as a goal."

I shifted and Yoketron turned his attention to me. "Soundwave?"

"Do we ha-ave to compete?" I asked.

Silence fell.

"No," Yoketron said. "Do you not want to?"

I shook my helm. I didn't like competitions in the first place, and even though I was good at Circuit-Su, I didn't feel like a fighter. But most importantly, it wouldn't be right. If I won, it wouldn't be because of talent or hard work, it would be because I had a secret, unfair advantage. There would be no satisfaction in that.

Master Yoketron studied me, thoughtfully.  _ I suppose I'm not altogether surprised. He would do well, but he avoids attention… for obvious reasons. Perhaps he would learn to get over that fear if he competed. I don't think it's as bad as he believes. We are all a little different in our own way, his differences are just more noticeable. _

Not all of them.

"Healthy competition helps mecha grow stronger," Master Yoketron said. "I would encourage you to compete… but I will not force you to do so."

I nodded. I wouldn’t change my mind about this one. Searchlight understood, though he thought I shouldn't worry quite so much about using the advantage my abilities gave me.

Master Yoketron dismissed us and we headed to my room to get Ravage, and then to Searchlight's room, where Breeze and Ratchet were already waiting. Searchlight was worried that she wouldn't be there, but she was, sitting in my usual spot at his desk, feeling nervous and trying to decide if she should apologize for running off earlier, and worrying that she'd hurt his feelings or made him think she was rejecting him.

The door opened and Searchlight and I walked in. Ravage jumped off of me to land on Ratchet, who tried and failed to jump out of his chair in time.

"Hey," Searchlight said and sat on his berth.

"Hi.” Breeze smiled, and looked away.

"Get  _ off! _ " Ratchet said, voice muffled. Ravage clung to him, snickering, until Ratchet gave up and went back to his homework, muttering under his breath.

"So..." Searchlight said.

Breeze took a deep vent. "That was… probably kind of confusing out in the hall, and I'm sorry I didn't respond really well. I was a bit overwhelmed."

"No worries," Searchlight said.

_ Maybe he wasn't trying to say what I thought he was trying to say. Maybe I'm just imagining things. I can't ask him… _

And we were back to this problem.

_ Awkward silence…  _ Searchlight thought.  _ I need to say something.  _ "Um, how was your trip back? I didn't get to ask you about it last orn."

She shrugged, both relieved and frustrated about the change of subject. "Not that exciting. I just took a groundbridge."

"Right," Searchlight said. "Praxus is way too far for a mass transit ride, that would take like three orns."

Breeze nodded, but then awkward silence descended again.

Searchlight looked at me.  _ You're sure she likes me? She's not talking to me. What do I do? _

"Stop being stu-upid," I suggested.

He threw his arms up. "What does that even mean?"

"What are you talking about?" Ravage said, tail flicking to knock Ratchet's datapad stylus out of his hand. It fell to the floor.

"Hey!" Ratchet growled, then turned in his chair. "Anyone want to get that for me? I've got this great big thing that's attached itself to my helm.

"I'll get it," Ravage jumped off of him.

"Searchlight," Breeze said, crossing her arms and feeling self-conscious.

"Yeah?"

"What you said, after third joor… what I stopped you from saying..." Hope welled up in her core, powerful enough to push her to actually ask "Did you… mean it the way it sounded?"

"I think so," Searchlight said. "I don't know exactly how it sounded to you, though..."

"Yes," I said.

Ravage leaped up onto Ratchet's desk and dropped his stylus onto his datapad before hopping up onto my shoulders.  _ What are you all talking about? _

I'd explain later.

"Really?" Breeze said.

"Yes, really," Searchlight said. "I meant it, Breeze. I know it's all of a sudden, but now that I think about it, I really can't imagine a future without you in it."

"Oh for the love of Primus!" Ratchet said. "I swear, Searchlight, if you get all gushy, I will personally rip your voice box out."

Searchlight just grinned. "That sounds a little violent for someone who's going into the medical field."

"Can't fix something that's not broken." Ratchet muttered darkly.

"I hope I'm never one of your patients, doc bot." Searchlight said, then beckoned to Breeze. "You're in Soundwave's spot, you know," he said.

She got up and crossed the room to sit next to him, feeling kind of dizzy and giddy. I sat in the chair she'd just vacated and Ravage hopped onto Searchlight's desk and settled down for a nap.

I wondered if things would ever go back to normal.

* * *

They did, sort of. It was a new normal, where I had to deal with  _ both  _ of them being lovesick idiots instead of just Breeze, but after a few orns of Breeze integrating the fact that Searchlight returned her affections, she finally calmed down a little.

Ratchet was almost more annoying about it than the two of them were, but after a couple of decaorns, he got used to the idea too, and things settled again. Ravage continued to recover. I was starting to think he'd always be a little jumpy, but he was no longer in danger of attacking anyone, thankfully.

Breeze kept trying to help me with my stutter too. She'd had some new ideas about it when she was gone, and she was also still learning a lot in her classes about that sort of thing. I got to the point where I barely stuttered at all—another thing I never thought I'd accomplish.

Of course, not everything was working out so nicely. My range was still expanding, slowly, steadily. I had used to think it would drive me insane, but while maybe my sanity  _ was  _ questionable, It was more likely that I'd just get really sick and have to leave school. I wasn't sure how that was going to work and I didn't want to think about it, so I just pretended everything was fine because right at the moment, it was.


	37. The Festival of Sparks

"So the whole city is almost completely dark, and when the lights come overhead, you can see them so clearly…"

"Sounds pretty cool," Searchlight said. "Except for the part where everyone just stands there for joors, looking at the sky."

"Well, we don't  _ just  _ stand there…"

"In the dark."

Breeze frowned.

"Where I'm from, we party until the last breem and then everymech runs outside."

"Last vorn I was here for the Festival of Sparks," Breeze said. "It was my first term away from home. My creators decided to come visit me instead of taking me back to Praxus."  _ It was awful. There was so much light and noise that you could barely see the lights in the sky.  _ "I'm still a little upset about it."

"So you're going home this vorn?"

"No," she said glumly. "My creators are going to be busy. And I think they're still sore that I won the argument about staying at this school."

Searchlight looked at her.  _ Stupid creators.  _ "You know, I don't like them very much."

"They don't like  _ you  _ very much," Breeze said.  _ I've told them too many stories about the trouble he's gotten us into.  _ "But they're not bad. I like them, most of the time. They just get frustrating once in a while."  _ I'm not nearly as bad off as Soundwave. _

Thanks.

"I know how that goes," Searchlight said. "Creators."

His creators were practically perfect.

"Yeah," Breeze said.

"Well, if you want you can come home with me. 'Wave's coming and I'm going to kidnap Ratchet and drag him with us too."

"Good luck with that," Ratchet growled.

"I don't know if my creators will let me," Breeze said.

"They aren't as bad as Crescent, and Crescent lets Soundwave come with me all the time."

I must have missed the memo that it was compare everyone's creators to Crescent orn.

_ Yeah, that's cuz she doesn't care about him at all,  _ Breeze thought.

Thanks.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask," Breeze said.  _ But I think the answer will be no. _

_ It would be awesome to have Breeze over for the Festival of Sparks. I don't actually think she's ever  _ met  _ Keepsake and Cam. That definitely needs to happen. _

"And, I don't really want to impose on your creators."  _ We get a whole decaorn off of school, and isn't their house a little small?  _ "Would all four of us fit in your house?"

"Uh…" Searchlight said  _ Did not think about that. Yeah, that might be a problem.  _ "We could make it work. And my creators don't care."

"Well, I'll ask," Breeze said.

"Well, I won't," Ratchet said. "If I don't go home to  _ my  _ home, then I'm just going to be staying here."

"You're so boring, Doc Bot," Searchlight said. "You'd think some of my awesomeness would rub off on you, since we're roommates."

"Well, if it comes with your stupidity, I think I'll pass."

Searchlight grinned. "You know, I'd probably be offended if I didn't know you."

"Hmph."

"I think it'd be cool for all four of us to spend the break together," Searchlight said. "And the Festival of Sparks is the best holiday."  _ It would be awesome if you could fly and see it up close. Last time wasn't that great. I think there were less lights than normal. Of course, I haven't seen it that many times—it only happens once a vorn. _

The festival of sparks happened about a third of the way through the vorn. It was an unexplained phenomenon—one of Primus's mysteries. Thousands of colorful lights like sparks would rise out of the Well of Allsparks and fly out in all directions. They circled the entire globe, from the Well at the south pole all the way up to Central Iacon and back. It took the sparks nearly two full orns to complete the trip. If they flew over your city during the off-cycle, it looked really cool. This vorn, Searchlight's home sector of Iacon, as well as Kalis would be dark when the lights reached us. That meant the city would get really crowded.

But it would be fine. I'd survived it last vorn.

* * *

"So, did you ask your creators?" Searchlight said, a few orns later, after classes.

"Yes," Breeze replied. "They said no."  _ They don't feel comfortable sending me with a group of friends they don't know or trust. It's too bad. I was starting to hope…  _ "Sorry."

_ Well, that rusts. I don't want to leave her here all alone for the whole decaorn.  _ "Okay," he said.

"Wow," Ratchet cut in. "Your creators aren't even going to come visit you, are they?"

"No," Breeze said.

_ Don't make her feel worse.  _ Searchlight shot a glare at Ratchet.

"You're going to be here all by yourself," Ratchet said.

"No, she won't," Searchlight said.

"Well, I guess I'll be here," Ratchet amended. "But I'm pretty sure she'd rather hang out with you."

"No," Searchlight said. "You misunderstand. We're  _ all  _ staying here."

Breeze stared at him. "What?"

"You heard me," Searchlight said. "If you can't come with us, we'll stay with you."

Breeze shook her helm. "I wouldn't want you to stay here, just to make me feel better. Thank you the offer, though."

He put an arm around her shoulder. "I'm not going to leave you here all by yourself over the break. That's depressing."

"I'll just… draw a picture of all of us and pretend or something," she said. "I'm great at pretending. And I don't want you to miss seeing your creators."

"I'm sure they'd rather avoid the transit credit anyway. They can drive here to see me, if they get an orn off work. It'll be fine."

I'd been looking forward to spending some time with Laserbeak. I'd managed to go once since the fiasco with Ravage, but that was all. Keepsake had mentioned that her behavior was still slowly improving, but I knew it must be harder when she couldn't communicate with anyone.

But now we were staying here.

_ In fact,  _ Searchlight thought.  _ It would be great if they drove here to visit us… then I can still follow that plan… _

Maybe I could ask them to bring Laserbeak with them, though I doubted she was ready for something like that.

"Are you serious?" Ratchet said.  _ I was going to get so much studying done without anyone here to distract me... _

"Yes," Searchlight said. "We're staying here for the break."  _ Keepsake and Cam won't mind… at least I hope they don't mind. And I hope they can come here because I really do want to see them, and they're kind of necessary for the plan anyway… I should talk to them about it. Why does Ratchet look so unhappy about this?  _ "What? Did you want to spend the break alone?"

"Some peace and quiet would be nice, yes," Ratchet said. "My class load is kind of difficult this term."

Searchlight shook his helm. "You're hopeless, you know?"

Ratchet didn't even respond.

* * *

Searchlight's creators actually liked the plan of coming to visit us, though they could only come for one orn—you couldn't just shut down the symbiont shelter.

Searchlight was glad they were okay with it. He really wanted to spend the break with Breeze. I was still kind of upset, though. I didn't think Searchlight's love life ranked higher than my symbionts, but I wasn't going to say anything to him and it wasn't my decision anyway. I came to terms with it, eventually.

Breeze tried to talk him out of it once or twice, but gave up pretty quickly. She was actually really glad she wouldn't be spending the whole decaorn just with Ratchet.

The break started. The city grew more crowded as the decaorn progressed. We spent time at the park and playing games and Searchlight and I sparred a lot on the roof. Eventually, the orn of the festival arrived and we all heard on the news when the lights had left the Well of Allsparks. We watched footage on Breeze's datapad of the colorful sparks rising up into the atmosphere to spread across the sky.

Superstition held that the lights were the sparks of mecha that had become one with the Allspark that vorn, but the numbers didn't match up, so I didn't subscribe to that theory.

Breeze sighed.  _ It's not going to be dark in Praxus this vorn anyway. It'll be just barely after dark here. And there'll be too much light from the city to see them properly… but you know what, I'm with Searchlight and my friends, and so everything is okay. _

"This orn is going to be awesome," Searchlight said.  _ So long as everything works the way I want it to.  _ "Keepsake and Cam should be here soon."  _ I think they're bringing the twins. That should make it interesting, if nothing else. _

We wandered out into the courtyard and tossed around a lobbing ball—Ratchet didn't want to play but Searchlight talked him into it—until Searchlight's creators came in through the front gates, in their alt modes. Cam's doors opened and Rumble and Frenzy climbed out and started running toward me. Ravage sprinted to meet them as Cam transformed. Then Keepsake opened her door and Laserbeak climbed out, then took off.

She spun in the atmosphere and headed straight toward me. Even before she got close enough to be in my range, I could tell she was angry. I held up my hand to block her as she crashed into me.

_ You abandoned me! You stopped coming back! You left me there for decaorns and decaorns!  _ She crashed into me again, then the third time she latched onto my arm with her claws.

Ravage noticed and came bounding back. "Hey!" he said. "Leave Soundwave alone!"

"It's okay," I said. "I'm sorry La-aserbeak."

She glared at me, then crawled up to my helm and clung there like a giant, awkward hat.

Rumble and Frenzy got to me too, and latched onto my legs. Rumble pushed away first and looked around. "So this is the junkyard you keep disappearing to for so long."

"Yep," I said. Breeze and Ratchet and Searchlight's creators introduced themselves to each other and then Searchlight talked to his creators while Breeze came over to meet my other symbionts. She thought the image of me standing there with Laserbeak on my helm, Frenzy clinging to my leg, and Rumble and Ravage looking up at me was definitely drawing-worthy. I shook my helm a little, startling Laserbeak.

"Who are you?" Rumble turned to look at her. "Breeze?"

"Yes," Breeze said.

Frenzy saw her and let go of my leg. He stared up at her for a few astroseconds.

"Which one's Frenzy and which one's Rumble?"

"I'm Frenzy!" Frenzy sprinted over until he was standing right next to her, looking directly up. "Are you Breeze?"

"Yes, I already said that." Breeze crouched down so she was closer to his height. "It's good to meet you."

"You too!" Frenzy said. "Wow, you're really pretty."

Rumble shoved him. "Shut up!" he growled.

"Thanks," Breeze said, then turned to Rumble. "And you must be Rumble."  _ I think I can see already why these two are hard to handle. _

"What are those?" Frenzy pointed to Breeze's doorwings.

Breeze glanced over her shoulder. "Oh, these? Doorwings."

_ Oh, Frenzy,  _ Searchlight thought, coming over to intervene if they decided to jump her or something. That sort of thing had happened before, with younglings at parks.

"Can I touch one?"

Breeze tried not to smile. "Uh…" she said.

"No, silly," Searchlight swooped in and picked Frenzy up. "They're like really big, sensitive audios." He flicked Frenzy's audio.

"Hey!"

"You want mecha touching your audios?"

"Put me down!"

"Searchlight, it's okay," Breeze said. "Put him down."

He set Frenzy back on the ground. Frenzy kicked his leg and walked away, pouting.

"Frenzy," Keepsake said. "What have I told you about solving your problems with violence."

"He's adorable," Breeze said.

"He's a little pit spawn," Searchlight replied.

Breeze looked at him.  _ Jealous of a symbiont?  _ "Don't worry, Searchlight, you'll always be my favorite."

He scowled, but he wasn't angry. "Well, ready to go?"

"We brought a leash for Laserbeak," Cam said.

She crouched lower on my helm.  _ If they try to put that thing on me I'll gouge out their optics. _

"She'll be fine wi-ithout," I said, and she relaxed again.

We showed Keepsake and Cam around the school and then left. The city was crowded and full of light and noise. Laserbeak decided she didn't like how many mecha were there and left off clinging to my back so she could fly above us, circling and weaving between tall buildings. I wished I could have her in my range, but I was pretty sure she wasn't going to fly away. She seemed to have come to terms with the fact that she needed to stay with me.

After a few joors out in the city, I'd reached my limit and I took my symbionts back to the school, where I knew there wouldn't be crowds. I had been worried the four of them wouldn't get along very well, and they probably wouldn't have if Laserbeak could talk because I could see her and Frenzy getting into pretty bad arguments. But right now at least, they were all just too happy to be out in the open and with me to fight with each other.

When the sun started inching diagonally down toward the horizon, Searchlight and the others showed up again. They'd had lots of fun out in the city. It was hard not to feel a little left out, but the processor ache that I would have now if I'd been with them all orn was definitely not worth it.

"Hey," Searchlight said. "Have fun?"

I nodded.

"We would have had more fun with you there, mech," he said, though I knew he was just telling me that to make me feel needed.

"So now what?" Ratchet said.

"Now we get to the best part of the orn," Searchlight said.

"Ah, yes." Cam smiled, then transformed. "Searchlight and Soundwave, get in. Keepsake will take Breeze and Ratchet."

"Where are we going?" Breeze asked.

"It's a surprise." Searchlight grinned and we all piled into his creators. One more upgrade and we'd be too big for this. I watched out the window as we drove away. Laserbeak wouldn't fit, but she didn't have too much trouble keeping up, as we drove. We occasionally got close enough to the other car that I could hear Breeze and Ratchet wondering where we were going.

After a breem or so, I started to get a processor ache. Driving through crowds was even worse than walking through them. By the time we left the city limits, my processor ache wasn't crippling, but it was definitely beyond the ignorable stage.

Keepsake and Cam drove out for long enough that the glow from the city wasn't interfering with the light from the newly-appearing stars, which were coming out now that the sun had finished sinking below the horizon.

Everyone got out and Keepsake and Cam transformed.

"How's this?" Searchlight said. "I mean, I know it's not Praxus, but no one's got their lights on out here."

_ Oh!  _ Breeze thought.  _ That's why.  _ "Thank you!" she said. "It's perfect. Thank you so much."

Laserbeak flew down and landed on my back, facing up at the sky.

Searchlight put his arm around Breeze and she leaned into him, looking up.  _ He is so wonderful. I don't know how I got this lucky. If you'd told me last term that everything was going to work out so well, I wouldn't have believed it. _

_ "Would you look at that."  _ Cam commed Keepsake.

She smiled at him.  _ "Surprised? I guessed it over this past break when he was so upset she couldn't come camping with us." _

_ "A Praxian, though..."  _ Cam replied.

_ "Don't be prejudiced." _

_ "I'm not. I just thought Praxians were prejudiced." _

_ "Well, this is Searchlight we're talking about. He's not one to settle for anything ordinary." _

_ "Fair point." _

They looked back up at the sky, waiting in relative quiet for a few breems.

"Look!" Cam said, pointing to the south. We all followed his gaze. We could see a distinct line of light in the sky. It got brighter as it approached, and then a spark whizzed past overhelm. Another followed, and then the atmosphere above us filled with flying dots of light. Some skimmed low enough to the ground that you felt like you could almost touch them, and others drifted past so far above us they were almost invisible. The display lasted for only a few breems, but left all of us speechless.

"I've only seen it like that once before," Keepsake said at length. "It was maybe ten vorns ago, I was camping…"

"Oh, yeah," Cam said. "I remember that."  _ We'd just gotten bonded... _

Another wave of light would come in a few joors, this one going from north to south, but we couldn't wait for that. Keepsake and Cam needed to go home. So they drove us back to the school. My symbionts were sad to leave, but I promised them I'd visit them soon, and even Laserbeak agreed to go after some complaining.

* * *

Searchlight dodged and blocked, then we circled once before he attacked and I defended. We had been going for almost a breem now, and neither of us had been able to get the upper hand. He was focused and determined and fast, but I knew his every move before he made it.

He still won.

He knocked me to the ground and pinned me there.

"Ha," he said, then let me up. He didn't fall back into a fighting stance, though. "You went easy on me, didn't you?"

"Nope." I said.

"Really?"  _ I can't trust you, can I. _

"No, you won."

"I told you I'd get better than you." Searchlight said, walking over to the railing and looking out over the city.

"You got lucky," I said.

Searchlight shook his helm. He was going to his first competition the next orn, and he should have been really excited about it, but he wasn't, at least not as much as I'd expected.

"You know, mech…" he said.

I joined him at the edge of the roof.

"I think after I win the Kalis championship…"

I shook my helm at his shameless arrogance.

"…I'll probably stop competing. It's not worth it."

I didn't react. He was talking more to himself than me. He knew I already knew what he was going to say.

"I'm not really this kind of a fighter, I don't think. Of course, I still want to learn from Master Yoketron, because he's pretty awesome, but it's just not as satisfying as it would have been last term… Frag, I think I'm actually growing up and becoming a responsible…"

"Don't get ahead of yourself," I said flatly.

He snorted. "But really," he said. "This world doesn't need another Circuit-Su champion. Things are going pretty badly in some places, and the Iacon council is turning a blind optic… You can't fight that with martial arts."

I shook my helm.

"I guess that's why I'm in the political science and government emphasis," Searchlight said. "Maybe I can change something some orn."

"You're crazy."

"Tell me something I don't know," Searchlight said, then smiled. "This term has not been what I've expected."

Definitely not.

"But it's been really good. I feel like I've changed, you know. In good ways." He looked down over the edge of the building.  _ I wonder if you built a really big ramp, if you could like ride down it… or drive if you had an alt mode… why the pit do we not get alt modes until our second to last upgrade? It's not fair. _

And some things would never change.

I felt different too, though. "I know what you mean," I said.

_ I bet you do,  _ Searchlight thought as I walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this we're going to time jump a couple of times, and then we'll finally get to their last term of school. Yay!  
> Also, did you notice anything about Soundwave's dialogue in that last scene? :) I'm so proud of my robot child. 


	38. Change

"I'm just saying, it's too bad we couldn't get a  _ good _ class together."

"It's okay." Breeze smiled. "It works better this way. We had five terms left when we started this, and there's only four of us so now we won't have to fight over who gets two turns to choose." She was disappointed, though, that we didn't get to take the art class she'd wanted.

"True," Searchlight said.

It was the first orn of our second-to-last term, and the teacher for this class hadn't shown up yet, so Searchlight and Breeze we're chatting quietly, while I tried to pretend I wasn't bothered by having a whole classroom of mecha in my helm. The beginning of the term was always rough. We were only four classes in and I was definitely ready to be done already.

"And at least we  _ did  _ get a class together. Ancient civilizations isn't  _ that  _ bad." Breeze frowned. "Just kind of useless."  _ No, be positive. Maybe they had some good art back then or something. _

"And boring as pit," Searchlight said.

"The teacher said there are field trips."

Great. more opportunities for Searchlight to get us in trouble.

"Yeah, just like with geology. Remember that? Kind of a weird coincidence. The two most boring classes have the most field trips."

"Maybe they do that so it's not so boring," Breeze said.

"Or maybe it's just to trick us into thinking it's going to be fun."  _ Ancient civilizations themselves are actually pretty cool. And I like the teacher so far… but like Breeze said, I doubt I'll be using the information from this class too much in the future. _

Breeze shook her helm. "It’ll be fine. And everyone but Ratchet’s in this class too."  _ That's lucky. _

The class we were in now was part of the reason it had been so hard to get a class all together. It was mandatory, and took up one of our electives. Since Ratchet was younger than us, he couldn't take it yet, but Breeze, Searchlight and I had managed to end up taking it at the same time with the same teacher.

"That's something, at least," Searchlight said.

The teacher finally came in the door and walked up to the front of the classroom. "All right, everyone," he said brightly, then waited for the chatter to die down. "Welcome, so glad you could be here. Let's lay down some ground rules and talk about what I'm going to expect from you and how the class is going to work. I know some of you are pretty excited about it…"  _ Another term, another batch of mechlings…  _ He talked, explaining basic rules of classroom etiquette, most of which were pretty obvious and universal. They should just get together and write a standard set of rules for every class so we only had to hear the lecture once.

"So," the instructor said when he was finished with the speech about classroom rules. "As I'm sure all of you know, the purpose of this class is to prepare you all for the upgrade in which you get your alt modes. Unlike the rest of the upgrades, you're going to all get yours at the same time, so it might be a little early for some of you or a little late. Don't stress about that, it's always fine. As part of that upgrade, you also get some other functions that we'll be learning about and preparing for, such as internal communications systems and a greater control of your systems and processor. If you want to opt out of the class, come see me afterward and I can get you a form for it. But if you opt out, that means it's up to you and your creators to make sure you're prepared when it's time for you to upgrade. Any questions so far?"

Searchlight raised a hand.

"Yes?"

"How do you get a flying alt mode?"

The mech smiled, though on the inside he wasn't too happy.  _ There's one of these every term. Every single term.  _ "Well, I really wouldn't suggest that unless you're planning to go into a profession that requires you to fly."

"But it's our choice, right?" Searchlight said.

"Yes," the teacher said. "It's your choice. I'll be talking about how you decide what kind of alt mode is best for you in a different lecture. So your question will be answered in the future, don't worry."  _ I'll talk him out of it. He doesn't look like he ought to be a flyer. _

_ He didn't seem too happy about the question,  _ Searchlight frowned.  _ He's going to try to stop me. We'll see about that. _

This teacher had no idea what he was up against.

* * *

He did try to talk Searchlight out of it. A few orns later, he spent the whole class talking about frame types and how you had to be careful when picking an alt mode. Technically, you could go as big or as small as you wanted, because extra mass could be stored in subspace, but your spark had limitations. Some mecha—especially femmes—had smaller sparks that would have trouble supporting large alt modes. And mecha with larger spark chambers had a hard time fitting them into small vehicle forms. Also, some frames, like the ones seekers had, were built for an easy transformation into a flying vehicle while others weren't so suited.

Searchlight didn't care. He had his spark set on flying. There were plenty of reasons not to. You couldn't have both, unless you were a triple changer. Flyers couldn't travel at the same speeds as mecha with ground based vehicles, and so lots of activities—like racing for example—weren't really possible. Also, there were more laws about where flyers could and couldn't go, and it was significantly more dangerous than ground travel. Searchlight's frame wasn't really right for a flying alt mode. He'd be kind of clumsy in the atmosphere, and it would take a while to learn how to fly. For the first little while, it would pretty much be like he didn't have an alt mode at all. But he was determined, and when he was determined about something, there was nothing anyone could say to him to convince him it was a bad idea.

So I decided I'd get a flying alt mode too. The story was a little different for me. My frame was actually well-suited for a flying alt mode, and when it came to travel, the last thing I wanted was to risk ever being stuck in traffic. Moving—slowly or quickly—past large numbers of mecha was not easy on my processor.

It was easier to hide it from my friends now that I didn't have my stutter to give me away, but school was getting harder and harder. The idea of flying high above the ground, away from everyone else for joors—that was too appealing.

And, well, I couldn't let Searchlight do something so stupid on his own.

As the term went on, my processor aches got worse. I could almost always hear the class next door now, and sometimes the ones above and beneath, depending on what floor we were on. Circuit-su was my only respite. Master Yoketron's classroom on the top floor was big. I could still hear the class below us, but during our after-school sessions, there was no one there.

I also spent as much time as possible up on the roof, meditating, which helped a lot. I brought Ravage up there. He liked to sit on the railing and look out over the city, and I liked the quiet.

I was running out of time and I knew it. I only had two more upgrades, and then there wouldn't be processor expansions to look forward to. My friends asked sometimes and I told them I was fine. They didn't really believe me, but they also didn't know how bad it was.

Eventually, the time came for us to get our upgrades. Everyone in the class took a decaorn off of school. This second-to-last upgrade being the most intense, we needed more time to integrate it.

I spent the recovery period at Crescent's house. For the first time in my life, being there was a good thing because it was large and never crowded. It was a respite, and as long as I stayed completely out of her way, she didn't really care that I was there.

At the end of the decaorn I walked back to school. Our t-cogs were locked down so we couldn't transform—they didn't want us trying it without supervision. In theory it was pretty simple, but supposedly it could be disorienting the first couple of times. When they woke you up after the upgrade, they let you try scanning the alt mode you'd chosen beforehand, so I had one. Crescent had decided that she didn't want me flying around with a standard alt mode, and had paid for me to have a custom one. I really wasn't sure how to feel about that, though I wasn't surprised. If she was going to care about something, it would be whether mecha could tell by my alt mode that my caretaker was wealthy.

* * *

I sat down next to Searchlight in second joor. He was excited to try transforming, but I knew the teacher had other plans for the first orn. Breeze came in and sat by us. We were all a little taller than we'd been before.

"Hey," Searchlight said.

She smiled. "I feel all off-balance still," she said.

"Well, you look amazing."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Have you tried transforming yet?"

"No," Breeze said. "Have you?"

"What do you think?" Searchlight shook his helm. "But I'm pretty sure the medics locked down our t-cogs so we can't."

"They did. Weren't you paying attention? One of these orns, you're going to get yourself hurt trying something like that."

"I'm totally fine."

She sighed. "I know."

The teacher came in. "Good orn, everymech," he said, annoyingly cheerful as usual.

"And everyfemme," Breeze muttered.

"How are you all doing? Glad to be back in school?"

Not really.

"Well, this is an exciting orn. This orn, we're going to set up your personal communication systems."

Searchlight sighed.  _ Of course, we do the boring stuff first. _

The teacher handed out datapads. "Here, these have instructions to walk you through the process, and each one has a unique comm. code. You should share your code with your friends and your creators. Since you're still not adults yet, please don't put the codes on any public databases, and even when you  _ are  _ an adult, that's not necessarily advisable…"

He kept talking as he finished handing us datapads and walked back up to the front of the classroom. Most of us listened as he explained how communications worked. There were two kinds. With external communications, you actually spoke, and your comm. picked up your voice as well as whatever else you could hear, and sent it. Those were more secure, and difficult to hack. Internal comms just simulated your voice and sent messages more privately. It was pretty simple. I had a bit of a head start since I had been in the helms of adults when they sent comms.

"…now, as you know, this building is shielded, so you can't send or receive comms without a password. Since we need you to be able to practice in small groups after you've got everything set up, I'll give you a temporary password which will expire at the end of class."

_ Ha,  _ Searchlight thought.  _ I think we can get around that password problem, right 'Wave? _

Well, yes, I knew the password. I didn't really want to break the rules without a good reason, though.

We all set up our comms and then broke off into groups of two or three to practice sending internal messages to each other. Breeze got it pretty quickly and we had to spend most of the rest of the time trying to help Searchlight figure out how to make them work.

By my third to last class, I was working up a pretty bad processor ache. So instead of paying attention, I started messing with my pain grid controls. That was a new thing too.

You couldn't turn your pain receptors all the way off. They could give you that capability, but they didn't because the ability to completely get rid of pain prompted mecha to do stupid things and damage themselves. However, adults could turn it down and modify it. It took a while to figure out how it worked, but I manged to get my processor ache under control. I had to keep messing with it throughout the rest of school, though, because the settings drifted back to normal, kind of like how my range drifted back to default.

By the time the school orn was over, it was still pretty manageable. I knew this wasn't a permanent solution, but it helped a  _ lot  _ for now.

* * *

After classes, I got Ravage and went to Searchlight's room. Ratchet had some other students there, working on a project with him, and Breeze wasn't here. I sat in my usual spot at Searchlight's desk and listened to Ratchet and his friends. The three of them tended to do class projects together, though they didn't always get along. Especially Ratchet and Wheeljack. Shockwave had to try hard to keep the peace.

They had run into a snag in their project idea and were brainstorming ways to get around it.

_ Hey, Wave, do you have the passwords for the communication shield?  _ Searchlight asked.

Yep. I pulled out my datapad.

_ You should give those to me and Breeze and the three of us can, like, comm. each other during class. _

I typed a message to him and sent it. [If they catch us, Cablereach will know how we got the passwords.]

His datapad pinged.

_ Awesome!  _ He turned it on and read what I'd sent him, then frowned. "Come on," he said.  _ No one will ever catch us. _

[You don't really need to  _ comm.  _ me] I sent.

He looked down and read it, then looked back up.  _ You're as bad as Keepsake, you know that? It's a stupid rule, why can't you at least help me break the stupid rules? _

Seriously?

I turned around and started doing my homework.

Searchlight sighed.  _ Sparkless partisan. Go ahead. Withhold information from your own friends so you can keep your teacher's-pet status. _

I messaged him.

[And you call Ratchet a drama queen]

Searchlight laughed.  _ You know I don't mean it, mech. You're just too noble for the rest of us, 'Wave. I don't even know where I'd be if I had your abilities. _

Yeah… I could see that not being a good thing. Then again, growing up with this sort of thing, you learned the limits. And… well, I didn't do anything really  _ bad  _ with my talent, but I didn't do much  _ good  _ with it either. If someone like Searchlight had it instead, he'd probably use it to change the world for the better, not just keep himself and his friends out of trouble, and rescue the occasional symbiont.

Searchlight started playing with his sensory grid, forcing his optics brighter and darker. "This is really crazy, mech."

I just shook my helm and debated whether to get back to my homework or join the conversation Wheeljack, Shockwave, and Ratchet were having.

"It would be impossible to retrieve the data," Ratchet said.

"Nothing's impossible," Wheeljack tilted his helm to the side. "Maybe if we recalibrate the pulse scanner after every reaction, we'll eventually get lucky and…"

"We'd run out of supplies before that ever happened," Ratchet snapped.

"I think Ratchet's right," Shockwave said. "And it's not logical to rely on something with such a low probability. Maybe…"

Searchlight was listening to them too. He had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.

"Even if we could  _ get  _ data from that, there would be no way to analyze it." Ratchet said. "We need some method of analysis."

"Maybe we should do some more research on this," Shockwave said. "We're going into it blind. We can't analyze something we have no way of detecting or retrieving data from."

There was a lull in the conversation, as all three considered that suggestion.

Searchlight decided to chip in. "Uh… couldn't you do like a… double blind analysis or something."

They looked at him.

Then Ratchet burst out laughing. Wheeljack followed, giggling helplessly. Shockwave just looked down, trying to conceal an amused smile.

"What?" Searchlight said.

"You," Ratchet gasped. "Searchlight, that's a statistical term! This is  _ science  _ we're talking about here. You can't do a double blind analysis on something non-sentient. Do you even know what double blind analysis  _ means  _ or did you just spit it out off the top of your processor?"

"Uh…" Searchlight said.  _ 'Wave, help me.  _ "I totally know what it means. It's…"

"It's when neither you nor your test subject know whether they're getting the real treatment or just the placebo." Ratchet said.

"Uh…" Searchlight raised an optic ridge. "Come again?"

"Never mind."

"Hey, wait," Wheeljack said. "Maybe he's right. The project doesn't know what we're doing… and neither do we."

Ratchet and Shockwave looked at him.

"What?"

"You're so funny," Ratchet rolled his optics.

"Ratchet only laughs if he's making fun of someone," Searchlight said. "Don't take it personally."

Ratchet glared at Searchlight. "Well, if you don't want me to laugh at you, don't say anything stupid."

_ They're kind of mean to each other,  _ Shockwave thought.  _ But they aren't mean to other mecha, just each other… actually, Ratchet can be kind of insensitive to everyone. _

* * *

Even knowing what it felt like, even after having heard the process numerous times, it took me three tries the first time I transformed.

We were out in a big wide field. Searchlight and I had one half to ourselves, while the rest of the class had the other. I lay on the ground in my alt mode, tilted sideways, one wing pressing uncomfortably into the rusty gravel. It was a little terrifying, really, to be devoid of limbs and incapable of moving. I couldn't pick myself up off the ground, couldn't turn and look a different direction. I'd heard it could be kind of confusing or frightening the first time. Mecha with claustrophobia sometimes had a difficult time getting used to it, but I hadn't thought that I would.

It also wasn't fair that the few who'd managed to transform on the other half of the field could drive, exploring their range of motion. I was on the ground, and if I propelled myself forward, I'd scrape up my wings and then maybe crash into something. If I wanted to be able to move, I would probably need to try again and jump as I transformed, then fly before I hit the ground.

I transformed back. Searchlight was still trying to figure it out. I jumped and transformed and tried to fly, but ended up just nose diving into the ground and flipping over onto my back. I transformed back and got up again.

"You okay?" Searchlight asked.

I nodded, feeling kind of embarrassed. I didn't need to wonder whether that had looked ridiculous.

I tried a few more times. On the fifth try I managed to fly forward, but had a hard time stopping myself. I transformed back just in time to crash into the wall. Fortunately, this upgrade made us stronger and better able to withstand crashes. You did have to be careful though, especially if you were flying. You didn't want to crash while you were in your alt mode or you could get really badly hurt.

I got up off the ground and trudged back toward the middle.

Searchlight finally managed to transform, but then accidentally changed back before he could figure out how to get his rockets to propel him forward.

The other students had mostly figured it out by then, and were driving around.

It took pretty much the rest of the joor for me to figure out how to hover, and I crashed a few more times. And despite my head start, Searchlight managed to crash about twice as many times as me.

"Okay!" the teacher said, when we had about eight breems left of class. "Everyone back to root mode and let's head to the school again. We'll practice more next orn."

Well, the rest of the class would. Searchlight and Breeze and I had a field trip for our ancient civilizations class.

We started walking back toward the school, scraped and dented.

Breeze joined us. "Are you two okay?"

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "But you know how I was all upset that we were going to miss this class next orn for that field trip… I don't think I'll mind so much."

I shook my helm.

"It could have been worse, though," Searchlight said. "At least we both got off the ground a couple of times."

We actually hadn't done too badly. The teacher had been impressed, despite himself. Both of us were clumsy, but not nearly as clumsy as he had expected. Even though we couldn't steer yet, and landing was almost always a disaster, we could both hover without tipping over. I was pretty sure we could attribute our unusual amount of control to our training with Master Yoketron.

We got back to school shortly before the class ended. No one had gotten badly hurt, though there were some dents here and there. The teacher told us to go see Ochre, and so we did. We could have let Ratchet practice popping out dents, but neither of us really felt like dealing with his anger issues.


	39. Ancient Civilizations

The next orn we went straight to our Ancient Civilizations classroom instead of our normal classes. The field trip wouldn't take the whole orn and we'd be back in time to go to our last two classes. Searchlight had started to wish he could practice flying instead of the field trip. I, however, was looking forward to being in a setting where I would only have one classroom's worth of mecha in my helm at the most.

The teacher led us to the groundbridge station, which was just a short walk from the school. She talked as we went, but it was hard to hear her over the traffic noise, and no one was really paying attention anyway.

_ I'm starting to hate this field trip again,  _ Searchlight thought.  _ I need more flying practice if I'm ever going to get good at it. Maybe instead of practicing Circuit-su, we can go to that field after school. Or maybe during the field trip we'll be able to sneak away at some point and find a good place to practice. _

We got to the groundbridge station and the teacher gathered the group together to talk before we went through the bridge.

"Students, the ruins we're going to, in the outer sectors of Simfur, are fairly safe  _ if  _ you stay with the group." She shot a pointed look at Searchlight. All the teachers knew to keep an optic on him during field trips. "There are other parts of the sector that are very dangerous, and some of the buildings and even parts of the ground are unstable. So it's very important to stick with me. Also, pay attention or you'll miss important information for the quiz we'll have on the trip in two orns."

Ratchet was glaring at Searchlight.  _ This time I will not be roped into leaving the group and going exploring. _

Searchlight didn't notice Ratchet's look. He was too busy wondering whether there'd be any good places to explore, and what the best way to sneak away from the group was.

Breeze watched both of them.  _ This is going to be another adventure, isn't it?  _ She glanced at me.  _ I'm not sure if I'm really feeling up to it this orn. _

"So, everyone, ready to go back a few thousand vorns in time? Here we go." She led the way through the groundbridge and we all filed in afterward.

We came out on a large platform, surrounded by tall, decaying buildings. Rust drifted down from the sky in flakes big enough to be visible, but thin enough to catch the atmosphere and spin as they dropped.

"Welcome to ancient Simfur," the teacher said after she followed the last of the students through the bridge and it closed. "The very first cybertronians lived in this city. This is our ancestral homeland. Of course, these buildings aren't nearly as old as the beginning. But they go back quite a long time, to before the Quintesson wars. Tell me, what can we see, just standing here?"

I looked out at the buildings around us. They were different from the modern buildings, and reminded me of Iacon. Our buildings now tended to be round, tall towers, and while it was true that some of these were round, they were more ornate and complex in a way that seemed natural, almost as if they'd grown that way.

Students answered, describing the platform we were standing on, or the buildings, bringing up points and historical facts that we'd learned previously in class. I just listened. I wished I was good enough at flying that I could take off and soar through this empty landscape. There was something peaceful about it. Once, long ago, mecha had walked these streets and lived in these buildings, but now there were only silent memories.

Eventually, we started moving. The teacher took us on a route she knew was stable. Later, we'd go down to a lower level of the city and then circle around and end up where we'd started.

Our second stop was an  _ enormous  _ round building. The teacher said it had been a library of some sort, built by the ancients. All the knowledge kept in it had been lost, though, during the Quintesson wars.

Many things had been lost in those wars. Most didn't know it, but at least some of it had been lost on purpose, erased to keep it out of the hands of the Quintessons. Master Yoketron had been a young mech during those wars. He didn't think about it often, but even so I’d learned things from him that they didn’t teach in history classes.

_ That is awesome…  _ "Can we go in and look around?" Searchlight asked.

"No," the teacher said. "I'd love to, but the building is structurally unsound. Sorry, Searchlight. There are other buildings we'll explore later on in the trip. Okay, let's move on."

Searchlight lingered at the back of the group, looking up at the building.

"Don't even think about it," Ratchet growled.

"Don't worry," Searchlight said. "It's just a library, after all. Not that exciting."  _ Besides, the teacher's watching. I couldn't get away with it right now. _

Fortunately, his common sense had developed to the point where if he was forced to wait long enough, he occasionally talked himself out of doing stupid things. Occasionally.

Unfortunately, the first explorable building was only two stops away. The teacher led us into the elegant, structure, which was full of hexagonal architecture with ornate pillars and lots of doors and hallways leading in all directions from the entry way. The teacher told us we were free to look around, and that we'd be staying here for about twenty breems. She wanted us to read an article and fill out a worksheet about it, both of which we were supposed to have downloaded onto our datapads. Then we needed to meet back in the entry way in twenty breems.

"Come on," Searchlight took the lead. Instead of going up the stairs to the second floor like most of the students, he took us to a small, closet-like room with a window. "This is as good as anywhere," he said.

Ratchet narrowed his optics. "You don't want to explore?"

"Not here, I don't," Searchlight said. "Come on, let's go back to that really big building." He started climbing out the window.

"What!" Ratchet said. "No!"

"Shhh," Searchlight said.

"Searchlight," Breeze said "This is…"

"Probably not a good idea," Searchlight said. "I know. Come on, I have less than a quarter of a vorn left before I'm an adult, and then I won't have an excuse to do stuff like this."

"You realize that argument makes no sense," Ratchet said.

"Exactly my point. I'm still a fledgling. You don't need to make sense until you grow up. And please don't tell me you don't want to know what the inside of that giant building looks like."

"But… we have to read the essay."

"We can take turns reading it out loud on the way there," Searchlight said. "No problem. And we'll be back before they even know we're gone."

"That's what you say every time," Ratchet growled as Breeze followed Searchlight out the window, leaving the two of us in the room.

"Can you believe it?" Ratchet asked me. "We're going to be in so much trouble."

I borrowed his words from moments before, playing a recording back at him. "That's what you say every time."

Ratchet huffed, but climbed out the window. "And which one of us is right every time?"

I followed him, and the four of us crept around the side of the building.

"All right," Searchlight said when we had started back toward the big building. "Ratchet, you want to read the essay to us as we go?"

Ratchet huffed.  _ I feel so silly about this…  _ He pulled out his datapad and started reading out loud. Searchlight cut him off after two sentences.

"Too boring," he said. "Never mind. We can skim it later."

Ratchet glared at him and kept reading, louder. He didn't stop until we got to the big building Searchlight wanted to explore.

These adventures didn't  _ always  _ end in disaster, like Ratchet claimed. Honestly, most of the time we just got detention. Sometimes, if we were sneaky enough, even  _ that  _ didn’t happen. 

I wasn’t sure about this time. The inside of this building may or may not even be that interesting, so we might make it back in time to covertly rejoin the group. However, while we could usually pretend we'd gotten lost, this time there would be no making excuses if we got caught.

"We are so doomed," Ratchet said.

"This is awesome." Searchlight headed across the rusty suspended sidewalk to the front door—or the remains of the door. It looked like time and rust had eaten away at it, or maybe something had broken it open. Inside we could only see blackness.

We started down the tunnel, and soon the light from our optics was the only thing illuminating our way through the dark, confined passageway.

"This library's got pretty narrow hallways," Searchlight said. "And not very many datapads."

"It's just the entry way," Ratchet said. "And it's an old,  _ abandoned  _ library. I doubt there's anything but corrosion here. We should go back."

"It's another horror holovid scenario," Breeze said.  _ Why is it always a horror holovid I wonder? Maybe it has something to do with our poor judgment. The characters in those tend to be pretty stupid. _

"Don't say that," Ratchet hissed. "Last time you said that, I almost got eaten."

"Hang on," Searchlight said. "Scrap."

We'd come to a dead end.

"Oh well," Ratchet said. "Guess we'd better go back and join the rest of the group."

"Maybe there's another way in." Searchlight put his hand on the wall blocking our way. "Why in the world would you have one long hallway that just ends?"

By the light from his optics, it didn't really look like a wall to me. I moved past Searchlight and he watched as I dug my fingers into a crack and pulled.

The door slid open.

"Ah," Searchlight said. "Right. That makes sense."

We stepped out into the open. Breeze gasped and the sound echoed back at us. The inside of the building was one vast cylindrical room with a ramp circling the wall all the way up to the top. Shelves upon empty shelves lined the walls, interrupted every so often by a door.

"Wow," Searchlight said, summing up everyone's thoughts. Even Ratchet was stunned. Searchlight's optics followed the spiraling walkway all the way to the dusty top of the building. The roof had partially caved in and was letting shafts of light down through the cavernous tower.

_ See now, I'm kind of wishing I had a ground-based alt mode so I could race them to the top. Oh well…  _ "Come on." He led the way to the base of the spiral and we started walking up the long, circular ramp.

_ I wonder… it's pretty open in here. It might be a good place for flying practice. _

Not unless he wanted to take another field trip to the hospital after this. Some things—many things—I'd just let him do, but if he decided to practice flying in here, I was going to have to talk him out of it.

"I wonder how far up it goes," Searchlight said. "It's kind of hard to see."

"Maybe you should do a double-blind analysis on it," Ratchet muttered.

Searchlight glared at him.  _ I'm never living that one down, am I? _

We kept walking. Most of the datapads were gone and the ones that were left were all broken or rusted. The rooms off to the sides of the tower just contained more shelves and sometimes a table or desk. The walkway had holes in it here and there, and occasionally there were places where part of it had rusted away or broken off.

Ratchet started reading the essay again as we walked. When he finished, he put his datapad away. "We should head back."

"Okay," Searchlight said. "But first let's find out how far up we can go…"

The building creaked and swayed. Breeze grabbed Searchlight's arm, suddenly terrified.

The shifting stopped.

"What was that?" Ratchet said.

"Probably just the wind," Searchlight said. "Come on."

"Maybe we should go back down," Breeze said. "I really don't want to fall."

_ Right,  _ Searchlight thought.  _ She's scared of heights.  _ "Fine," he said. "We're getting pretty close to halfway up, though."  _ I kind of wanted to see if we could get to the top, maybe even out onto the roof.  _ He looked longingly up at the rest of the tower.  _ It looks like some of those higher walkways have gaps in them were they've rusted or fallen away so we might not make it anyway. Oh well. The roof would be a great place to take off from. I could fly out over the whole city. _

And land at a thousand klicks a joor and kill himself.

"Let's go back down," Breeze said.

"Okay."

We started heading back down, but either we had really bad timing, or our coming here had upset some sort of balance, because when the wind picked up again the walkway started to twist and shake under our pedes. We all grabbed at the rusty bookshelves to steady ourselves and waited for the tremors to stop. There was an enormous crash from somewhere beneath us.

Then everything went still and quiet again.

But we were stuck. A large, rusty section of the walkway a little farther down had broken away and fallen down to the level below, leaving behind just the bookshelves, which were still somehow attached to the wall.

"Well, that's just great." Ratchet glared at Searchlight. "What did I tell you!"

Searchlight walked over to the edge of the remaining walkway and looked down.  _ With our upgrades we're tougher, and could probably survive the drop down to the next floor, but there's always the chance that that floor would give out too, especially after this one landed on it… and what about Ratchet? _

"We need to comm. the teacher," Ratchet said.

"No," Searchlight said.

"What! Yes! Quickly, before the whole building comes down!"

"Look, the bookshelves are still intact, and attached to the wall. We can climb across them."

"Are you out of your processor?" Ratchet said.

"Watch." Searchlight carefully climbed out onto the bookshelves. They creaked under his weight. Whatever was keeping them on the wall was probably rusty as well. We all stood completely still, unable to look away as he inched across the gap. The last few bookshelves started to pull away from the wall, tilting precariously. He had to jump at the end and catch the ledge, but he made it, and pulled himself up.

"See," he said. "Easy."

"But if anyone else comes across now, they'll fall," Ratchet said. "Someone comm. the teacher."

"It'll be fine," Searchlight said. "Ratchet, you're probably the lightest right now. You come next. Come on."

_ I am going to die and I hope he never forgives himself for it,  _ Ratchet thought, but approached the gap as well. The bookshelves swayed and pulled farther away from the wall as he swung from them, but he made it across, leaving Breeze and me on this side. 

If I stood at the edge, my range covered Searchlight, just barely.

_ We're only going to get one more across…  _ Searchlight thought.  _ Those shelves are going to come down under their own weight if we give them a few more breems. Pit, I wish I'd gone last. _

Well, I would let Breeze use the shelves. There might be another way for me. I commed Searchlight, because I didn't want to yell.

He put a hand to his helm to answer. "Yeah?"

"Back away," I said quietly. "I'm going to jump."

"Uh… okay?" Searchlight backed up and waved Ratchet back too. "Can you jump that far?"

"What!" Ratchet said. "No one can jump that far!"

I didn't need to jump that far. I backed up, then sprinted toward the place where the walkway ended.

"No!" Breeze said, and Ratchet just stared in horror.

Really, who did they think I was? Searchlight? I wasn't  _ that  _ crazy.

I leaped, careful to angle myself correctly, and transformed. I gave myself a burst of speed, with the jet engines of my alt mode, and then transformed again, to sail through the atmosphere and land in a tumble. I skidded to a stop at Searchlight's pedes.

They all stared for a moment, then Searchlight grinned and reached down to help me up. "Mech, that was awesome."

I let him help me to my pedes and then turned to look at Breeze.

She stood on the other side, doorwings flicking nervously.

"It's okay," Searchlight walked to the edge of our side of the gap. "You can do it."

"Remind me…" she said. "Remind me never to let you talk me into something like this again."

"I know—I'm sorry. But I need you to trust me. It's just another adventure all right?"

"An adventure that involves being impossibly high up and then falling to my death." She took a deep vent. "I'm getting kind of tired of those."

"You can make it across," Searchlight said. "Come on."  _ Before the rest of the building comes down or something like that. _

Breeze took another deep vent and and climbed out using the bookshelves. They creaked and swayed and she gasped, freezing in place.

_ She's not going to make it,"  _ Searchlight thought.  _ I… I have to get out there…  _ "A little farther," he said. "Just come out a little farther."

"I can't!" Breeze said. "I'm going to fall."

"You're not going to fall," Searchlight said. "Just keep coming." He took a deep vent and before I could stop him, he jumped back out. The closest bookshelf to our side pulled away from the wall and fell, but Searchlight managed to get to the next one before the first went down.

It crashed onto the walkway below.

"What are you doing!" Breeze said. "There's no way back now!"

He held a hand out toward her. "It's okay," he said. The bookshelf he was on shifted.  _ Running out of time…  _ "Keep coming, I've got a plan."

Breeze took a deep vent and inched farther out. She made it to the next bookshelf, but still had quite a way to go before Searchlight would be able to reach her. Searchlight couldn't go out any farther, because the bookshelf after the one he was on was definitely not stable enough to hold his weight again.

"Faster!" Searchlight said. "Come on."  _ Get ready 'Wave, I'm counting on you. _

She scrambled along the shelves, clinging desperately to each one, until she was almost to Searchlight. The shelf he was on gave out and he moved to the next one, which brought him close enough even as it fell away.

He grabbed Breeze's arm and pulled her away from the bookshelves, swinging her out over the gap and toward Ratchet and I. Then he let go of her as his shelf fell. She flew through the atmosphere and I just barely caught her and pulled her onto the ledge.

Searchlight fell.

He transformed and flew out from under the bookshelf just before it crashed into the walkway beneath. Then he soared across the building and crashed into the wall on the other side, bringing a different bookshelf down on top of himself instead. 

"No!" Breeze gasped.

I shoved my range out, searching for him. 

There he was—still conscious. I started running and the other two followed me. We had to cross another gap that one of the falling bookshelves had made, but this one was small enough we could jump over it.

It seemed to take forever to get down to the level where Searchlight was. My longer legs got me there half a breem before the others, and I lifted away the bookshelf pinning him to the ground. He moaned and tried to sit up, but I pushed him down. One of his arms had been shattered and crushed and was leaking heavily.

"'Wave…"

I borrowed Ratchet's words from earlier. "Are you out of your processor?"

He huffed a pained laugh. "Maybe."

Ratchet got there. "By the Allspark, Searchlight," he said. "If you  _ ever…  _ oh no." He knelt and prodded Searchlight's arm.

"Ow!" Searchlight jerked away.

"Sorry," Ratchet said. "Is your pain grid turned down?"

"Wha…" Searchlight said.

"You just got that upgrade!" Ratchet said. "Turn the pain down so you can hold still while I tie off these lines."

_ Oh, right… that… _

"Breeze, comm. the teacher," Ratchet said, then addressed Searchlight again. "Ready?"

It took him another astrosecond or two to figure it out, but then his agony faded to a more manageable level and he relaxed a little. "Okay."

He still had to try hard not to flinch as Ratchet tied off energon lines to stop his arm from leaking.

_ I wish I had the medic upgrades so I could stop the pain entirely. We need to get him to a real medic. _

Breeze was talking to the teacher, explaining what had happened, Searchlight passed out before Ratchet was finished.

The teacher showed up and some medics came through a groundbridge to take Searchlight to a hospital.

We were in so much trouble. We got a two quartex detention sentence, and a zero for all of the assignments associated with the field trip. But though that was kind of hard to swallow, we were all glad we'd made it out alive.

Except Ratchet. He was absolutely furious, and determined to never again let Searchlight talk him into leaving a group on a field trip. Of course, he was like that after every field trip.

We were quiet and contrite for the rest of the excursion. Breeze and Ratchet kept thinking about Searchlight, hoping he was all right, and worrying about how this would affect their grade.

The detention and the grade weren't what I was worried about, though. I had pushed my range out to cross that entire building. We could probably fit our whole school  _ inside  _ of that library, and we didn't have nearly long enough before this field trip was supposed to end.

As time ran out, I got more worried. I wasn't entirely sure how big my range was, because the group stayed pretty close together, but I doubted that it had shrunk enough that I'd be able to survive the rest of school. We still had two joors of class.

We came full circle and got back to the beginning too soon. The groundbridge opened for us. The teacher was going to wait and watch the rest of us go through before she came. I hesitated, waiting as long as I could, but I knew I'd couldn't try to stay here. So I braced myself and walked through the bridge. The wave of thoughts and feeling and emotions hit me like a wall and I stumbled despite myself. The groundbridge station wasn't really more crowded than usual, but now I had a lot more of it in my helm. Maybe a couple hundred mecha.

I forced myself to stand straight and walk over to where Breeze and Ratchet were watching me. It was difficult to isolate their thoughts among so many, but I could tell from their faceplates that they were worried about me.

The teacher came through and led us out of the station and back toward the school. By the time we got there, my helm felt like it was splitting open and I was about ready to pass out. The teacher dismissed us to go to our other classes and warned Ratchet, Breeze, and I that if we didn't show up for detention this orn, there would be serious consequences.

Breeze and Ratchet guessed what was wrong with me, but they couldn't ask out loud. We all went different directions.

Fortunately, my next class was with Cablereach. I held out about five breems, but it was getting to the point where I was really going to shut down. I raised my hand.

He was a little surprised I had something to say, especially since he hadn't asked a question. "Yes, Soundwave?"

"I'm not feeling we-ell. Can I go to Ochre's office?"

I also sent him an internal comm.  _ "My range is too large. I need to leave." _

"Certainly," Cablereach said.  _ If you need to go, then go. What's going on? Do you want me to get in touch with your next teacher and make excuses for you? _

_ "Yes, thank you."  _ I could barely form the words, even over the silent comm. I got up and left the room. I had about two thirds of the classroom wing in my helm. Hundreds of students. I was tempted to just let myself collapse out in the hallway, but I forced myself to walk. Turning down my pain grid was barely helping at all.

I couldn't leave the school without bypassing the guard at the gate somehow. But I went out into the yard and walked all the way to the fence. I found a good hiding spot where I only had the mostly-empty student wing in my range, and I sat there and turned off my screen, giving into exhaustion. The pain continued to mount, though, even as my range shrank. And I'd have to go back for detention, somehow.

I had dozed off when Cablereach commed me asking where I was. I replied and checked my internal timepiece. Classes were over and I needed to get to detention in the next ten breems. I got up, but I was dizzy and I still felt like someone was pounding on my helm with the forge of Solus Prime.

I started heading for the nearest doors, but then Cablereach and Ratchet came into my range and I changed directions to go meet them.

"Come on," Cablereach said and led the way back to the classroom wing and into an empty room.

"I managed to get something for you," Ratchet said. "So you can go to detention if you want." He unsubspaced a tiny, rectangular object. "You probably already know this, but let me explain. This is a pain chip. It will completely block your pain receptors. You can't keep it in longer than a joor or two, though, or your self repair systems will re-route the connections and you'll never be able to use a pain chip again. Sit down."

I sat behind the nearest desk and he walked around behind me. I watched through his optics as he slipped the device into a port in the back of my neck.

Instantly the pain was gone. I slumped forward as relief washed over me.

"Are you all right?" Ratchet said.

I nodded. I still felt dizzy and weak, but fine other than that. "Thank you," I said, to reassure them.

"Okay," Ratchet said. "After detention, you should go somewhere you can't hear anyone, and I'll take it out again.”

I nodded and got to my pedes, then followed Ratchet to detention. I nearly collapsed a couple of times on the way. Now that the pain was gone, I just felt sleepy, and I was having to fight very hard to stay conscious.

Detention wasn't bad. Now that the surrounding classrooms were empty, the noise in my helm was much less overwhelming. And without the processor ache keeping me tense, I was able to put my helm down and drift off into recharge in just a few breems.

It seemed like only an instant later Ratchet was shaking me online. I got up and stumbled away from the desk. The room was emptying and the teacher who had been monitoring detention wasn't sure whether to be worried about me or annoyed that I'd powered down for the whole joor.

_ Would the roof be a good place for you to go?  _ Ratchet asked.

_ Are you all right?  _ Breeze thought.  _ Just how big is your range right now? _

Smaller than it had been, but still bigger than normal. And though I didn't feel pain, I didn’t exactly feel  _ well. _

"Yes. But I want to get Ravage first." He would worry if I didn’t show up. 

"No," Ratchet said. "I'll go get Ravage."  _ There will be too many mecha in the student wing. You go up to the roof. Whatever a large range does to you it's not just pain and it can't be healthy. _

I climbed the stairs and Ratchet headed off toward the student wing.

Breeze wasn't sure whether to follow him or to go with me.

I stopped and waited for her. She hurried to join me, and I started walking again.

_ You know,  _ she thought.  _ We really should make a rule about not having mental conversations with you. it gets so confusing. _

I shrugged.

_ Of course, I'm having a mental conversation with him right now.  _ "It's not fair. You always have to talk to respond, but we don't. And it's not fair to us either."

Actually, I could usually just nod or shrug to convey whatever I wanted to say. And playing mechs' words back to them at appropriate moments was kind of a fun game.

"So, where are we going?"

"The roof."

"Why?"

"It's quiet."

"Oh," she said. "That makes sense. Are you all right?"

I shrugged, then nodded.

She flicked her doorwings, not quite convinced. "What does that mean?"

"I feel okay," I said.

_ Ratchet told me he managed to steal you a pain chip. _

He could probably get in trouble for that, I realized.

We got to the roof.

"I hope Searchlight is all right," Breeze said, then shuddered. "I'm going to have nightmares about that." She eyed the edge of the roof uncomfortably.  _ I can still feel myself flying through the atmosphere, still see him falling. I thought he might offline. I don't want him to offline saving me. _

"He's okay," I said.

"This time." Breeze crossed her arms and lowered her doorwings. "One of these orns, our luck might run out, and someone could get really badly hurt."  _ He never thinks about the consequences of his actions.  _ "I think there's a disconnect in his processor. He doesn't seem to ever think about how what he's doing could affect the future."

I nodded. That sounded about right.

"Why did I have to fall in love with someone who has mental problems like that? I don't even know if that's diagnosable or treatable. I've never even heard of it before."

I looked at her.

"Not that I'd want to change him, though," she smiled. "He's…"  _ He's perfect. Silly, charming, noble... oops. Sorry, Soundwave. _

"Thanks."

She frowned. "Thanks?"

"You're the only one who ever apologizes."

She shook her helm.  _ That's depressing… but most mecha don't know they need be careful about having embarrassing or awkward thoughts around you. Maybe if they knew, more mecha would apologize. _

Or, you know, maybe they'd kill me or hand me over to the government. That could also happen.

A few breems later, Ratchet and Ravage came up to the roof. I sat down and Ravage climbed into my lap, purring.

_ I was worried when it was Ratchet, not you,  _ he thought.  _ But he told me you were all right.  _ "Are you okay?"

I nodded and looked at Ratchet.

"Sorry," Ratchet said. "I have to take it out."

"What?" Ravage looked up. "Take what out?"

The question bought me a few more precious astroseconds while Ratchet explained to my cat what was going on and what a pain chip was.

Then he came around behind me and I braced myself. The device came out of my neck and the weight of the too-familiar processor ache crashed down on me. I managed to avoid crying out, but everyone else could see the sudden tension in my frame.

_ You're like this a lot,  _ Breeze thought.  _ Tense, like you're anxious about something… but that’s not the problem is it? You're in pain more often than you tell us, aren't you? _

I didn't want to worry them, but I didn't want to lie either, so I just didn't answer. I manipulated my pain grid so that the processor ache wasn't quite so crippling, and scooted back to lean against the railing at the edge of the roof.

"Soundwave?" Breeze said.

"I'm okay," I told them, careful not to stutter. "You can go."

They were hesitant, but left me on the roof with Ravage. I waited for the pain to go away, until the sky went dark and filled with stars.

* * *

The next orn, my range was normal again, and the processor ache had faded to normal levels.

After detention, we all went to Searchlight and Ratchet's room. We might have tried to go visit him in the hospital, but he'd messaged us to say he would be back to school before lights out, so we just waited and talked and worked on homework.

"Soundwave," Ratchet said eventually. He'd been thinking about it all orn. "Are there any other symptoms besides the pain when your range is too large?"  _ If there are long-term side effects, this could be worse than any of us know. _

I shrugged. "Dizziness," I said.

"That's all?" he narrowed his optics.  _ He had better not be lying to me. _

I nodded.

Of course, it wasn't true. Sometimes I had a hard time retrieving memory files from times like the orn before when my range was covering too many mecha.

It was probably a bad sign. They didn't need to know, though. There was nothing they could do about it and so I didn't want them worrying about it.

For a while during the past few terms I'd gotten kind of hopeful about my future. I'd even thought about what I wanted to do after secondary school.

But I didn't really want to think about it anymore. I didn't want to lie to myself, but I also didn't want to admit that my condition would probably just keep getting worse. Eventually, I'd have to go live entirely by myself, maybe even leave the planet and live on the moon or something, away from everyone else.

Or maybe I'd offline, or go crazy, or something like that.

We waited for Searchlight. It was about sunset by the time he showed up. Breeze got up and rushed over to hug him before he'd even made it through the doorway. They stood there for almost half a breem before Searchlight pulled away.

"Hey," he said gently. "I'm fine."

She followed him back to the berth and sat down next to him. "I know," she said. "You scared us for a couple of breems in that old library, though."

"I always knew libraries were a bad idea," Searchlight said, then looked down at his new arm. The repairs were finalized, but he was still getting used to it. Even though it was the same model of arm, it would take him another orn or so before he had full functionality. "Sorry about that."  _ That was pretty bad. And it could have been worse.  _ "You know what?"

"Yeah?" Breeze said.

Searchlight sighed. "I really am sorry." He looked down. "We shouldn't have left the group. My immaturity could have gotten one of you hurt, or worse…"

_ He looks… legitimately remorseful. _

"And I got us all in trouble…"  _ And, Soundwave, are you all right? It occurred to me last off-cycle that you might have expanded your range to find me under the rubble… _

I nodded. I was fine.

"You know," Breeze said, noticing the gesture.  _ I don't even know who he's answering. _ "I have a sort of… proposition."

"Wait for me to finish," Searchlight said. "Lying under that bookshelf, I think it finally clicked. Don't ever let me do something like that again. It's great to have fun, but… if that building had come down on top of us, we might not all have made it out of there, and I don't think I could live with myself if I got one of you killed—if I got  _ anyone  _ killed. The building wasn't even that cool, not that that matters because even if it was the coolest building on the planet, the risk was not worth it."

Even Ratchet had stopped doing his homework to listen.

Silence fell.

"Am I dreaming?" Ratchet said. "Or did you actually apologize for doing something stupid?"

"One hundred percent actual apology," Searchlight said. "And I know I say something similar every time this happens, but I really mean it this time. And I give you all permission to forcefully stop me if I ever try something that dangerous again, especially if I'm trying to drag you into it with me. It wasn't even that fun, not like that sort of thing was when we were younger."  _ I am not a very good friend, am I? All the scrap they've had to put up with because of me... _

"We forgive you," I said.

"Speak for yourself," Ratchet grumbled.

Searchlight looked down, actually hurt for once. That was new.

"Oh, fine," Ratchet said. "I forgive you too. But I'm going to hold you to it. No more insanity."

"No more," Searchlight said. "Well… maybe a  _ little.  _ But not life-threatening insanity, or rule-breaking insanity. I promise."  _ You can still have fun while following the rules… I hope.  _ "Breeze, you had something you wanted to say?"

We all looked at her. "Right… uh… I just wanted to say I think it's frustrating and confusing when we have half of our conversations with Soundwave silently. I think it's also dangerous because someone might notice and figure it out. So I think we should make a rule that whenever it's possible, we talk to him out loud."

I wasn't sure what I thought of that idea. It really wouldn't make much of a difference for me.

"Obviously there are times when we really need to have silent conversations," Searchlight said, "But I'm willing to try to talk out loud when we can. Ratchet?"

"Fine, fine," Ratchet said, and went back to his homework.

"'Wave?"

"I don't care," I said.

"It's settled then," Searchlight yawned and stretched, wincing. His new arm still ached a little when he moved it. "Oh, hey, Ratch."

Ratchet didn't look up.

"Ratchet."

"I'm trying to study here."

"I got you something to say thanks for saving my life."

"Well," Ratchet huffed and turned around in his chair. "You wouldn't have offlined, provided the leaking stopped in time." Then he frowned, noticing Searchlight's grin. "Do I dare ask what you got me?"

"Just some essential medical equipment," Searchlight pulled a large wrench out of subspace. "Here you go, doc bot."

Ratchet narrowed his optics. "And what exactly do you think I'll be able to use that for? That's a mechanic's wrench, much too large and unwieldy for repairs."

"I figured you could throw it at mecha when they annoy you, so you stop having to buy new datapads when you break them."

Ratchet glared at him, then reached out for the wrench. Searchlight tossed it to him, and he caught it and studied it for a moment.  _ Solid and heavy. Let me see, who am I annoyed at right now? _

He raised the wrench and in one smooth motion threw it at Searchlight, hitting him in the helm. Searchlight didn't even have time to raise his arm and block, though he'd been expecting it.

"Thank you," Ratchet said, and turned back to his homework.

Searchlight fingered the dent on his helm, still grinning.  _ I've created a monster. _

Don't be so proud of yourself.

"No more insanity?" Breeze said.

"I bought the wrench before I made the promise," Searchlight said. "And that's not life-threatening or rule breaking." _ Besides, he definitely needs one of those. With some practice, he'll be the most terrifying medic ever to loom over an operating berth.  _ "Besides, he really does go through a lot of datapads."

"Pass me that wrench again, would you?" Ratchet said through gritted denta.

* * *

Time went on. True to his word—and to all of our surprise—Searchlight actually behaved himself during the rest of the field trips for that class. He also stopped complaining when we insisted that he follow the rules. In fact, he started to develop a healthy sense of respect for rules and boundaries. He didn't stop being Searchlight, of course, but we got in trouble less often.

The two of us actually got good at flying pretty quickly, in part because of our Circuit-Su training, and in part because Searchlight was the kind of mech who would work really hard for the things that he wanted.

Flying was more tiring than walking, but I came to enjoy it and the freedom it gave me. It was nice to be able to leave the school and even the city behind and go find somewhere remote where I could be completely alone for a few joors. I could also go visit my symbionts every time we had an orn off of school. Since I wasn't an adult yet, I wasn't technically supposed to fly all the way to another city by myself, but no one was going to get mad at me for it.

We all got really busy by the end of the term. Searchlight had decided to run for student body president, and Breeze, Ratchet, and I spent a lot of time helping him with his campaign. He didn't really need our help, though. The whole school knew who he was, and the vast majority thought pretty highly of him. The other students were all over the idea of putting him in charge. The teachers, on the other hand, were a little worried.

He won by a landslide at the end-of-term election, of course. I was grateful that he was so busy, because it distracted him so I could hide how hard things were getting. My processor aches merged into one eternal processor ache that only faded if I was away from civilization for a whole orn, but I pushed through to the end of the term because I knew that I could spend the entire break at the symbiont shelter if I wanted to.

And after the break, I would just need to survive one more term and then I'd be out of secondary school.

And out into the real world where I would have to somehow make enough credit to survive, while living alone and far away from everyone else.

I didn't really want to think about it.


	40. The Final Stretch

Breeze waved and jogged over as we approached. She had been waiting for us at the front of the school.

"Hey!" Searchlight said. "You upgraded."  _ She's like, almost as tall as I am right now. _

She smiled. "Yes. I'm officially an adult now."

"Well, you look amazing," Searchlight said. "Not that you ever didn't."

"Thanks." She shrugged, vents heating up a little.

"All right," Ratchet snapped. "Are we going in or not?"

Searchlight looked up at the school. "You mechs remember how I said I'd be so ready to finish secondary school?"

"Yeah," Breeze said, smiling at the front doors fondly. "It all went by kind of fast, though, didn't it?"

"Nah," Searchlight said. "I'm still just ready to have it over with. Let's go."

"This isn't the end, of course," Ratchet said as we walked. "There's still the Academy after this."

"For some of us," Searchlight said. "You mechs ready for this?" he put an arm around Breeze's shoulders. "And femme."

"That depends on what you mean by 'ready,'" Breeze said.

I looked down.

"Last term, here we come. Anything to say, 'Wave?"

I shrugged. "School rusts."

"Well spoken," Searchlight said.

We walked through the doors.

I turned my vents slightly higher as we got close to the crowd gathering in the auditorium. My range had grown over the break and I could feel the effects already. 

_ You all right?  _ Ravage wondered.

I nodded.

_ I hate this place,  _ Laserbeak thought. I'd decided to bring her—she was very well-behaved by now, but she didn't get along with the twins, and I didn't want Keepsake and Cam to have to deal with that anymore. I didn't think the headmaster would care too much anyway, especially if he didn't know.

Searchlight and I took my symbionts to my room, then headed back to the opening ceremony. Breeze and Ratchet had saved us the back corner seats, as usual. Ratchet wanted to sit up at the front of the room, but he understood why that wasn't a good idea.

Breeze leaned against Searchlight. "I missed you over the break," she whispered.

"As Soundwave can attest, I barely survived without you." Searchlight put an arm around her.

If only I had optics to roll.

"My creators threatened to send me to another school again," Breeze said, leaning in closer to him.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I talked them out of it, though."  _ Besides, I'm old enough to make my own decisions. _

"Do you two mind?" Ratchet grumbled.

"Sorry, Ratch," Breeze said, and pulled away from Searchlight slightly.

The headmaster got up to talk.

Sitting at the back of the room didn't help much. I could hear about half of the auditorium which meant I had about three hundred mecha in my helm.

The symbiont shelter had been my haven over the break. Lakes had figured out how to temporarily hire me and I had barely ever left. I'd even stayed over during the off-cycle a few times. Searchlight, who knew symbionts helped my processor aches, had been a little worried. But I had told him it was just because I liked it there and Lakes needed me. 

I didn’t want them to be worried about me. It wouldn’t help anything. 

I had pushed through last term, and if I could just get through this one, then school would be over.

I couldn't pay attention to the headmaster's speech. I kept wishing it would end already so I could go hide in my room with Laserbeak and Ravage. I still didn't dare bring Rumble and Frenzy, but… I might need to risk it later.

The processor ache was starting to get distracting as the headmaster came to the end of his speech. When he was finished he had us all break into groups according to our terms. The oldest two terms stayed put, which was fine with me because by that point I didn't feel like getting up and walking around.

One of Searchlight's teachers was in charge of talking to us. I felt some relief when the other groups of students left my range, but my helm still hurt.

"All right," the teacher said. "You all know the drill. There are a few different things this time, though, for those in their last term. Each final term student will need to come up to me and tell me whether you plan to go on to higher education or pursue a career after secondary school. Also, each of you will need to do a final project, and for that you'll need a teacher mentor. I still have some spots open—maybe for eight or ten students. You'll need to get a form from the main school database and get it signed by your teacher mentor in order to graduate, and also you'll need to do a project and present it. We'll give you more information about that as you go along. You're going to want to get a teacher from your emphasis, because they'll be a good resource for your project."

All four of us were thinking of different teachers. I wasn't the only one to notice.

_ It's really interesting,  _ Breeze thought.  _ How the four of us are such good friends and none of us are in the same emphasis. _

"Seventh term students," the teacher said. "You are free to go. If you have questions, come up and ask me. It might be a good idea to start thinking about your project for the next term. Eighth terms, come up here and get in line to talk to me… Oh, also any of you who signed up for a self-defense class this term are going to have to change your schedules, because our teacher has unexpectedly resigned.

Searchlight and I glanced at each other.

_ That feels wrong,  _ Searchlight thought.  _ We should go find him and ask him if everything's all right. _

I nodded.

Searchlight raised his hand.

"Yes, Searchlight?"

"Do you know if he just retired, or if something's happened to him?"

"Who? Oh, Master Yoketron? I don't know, I haven't talked to him. You could try asking Headmaster Graycharter about it."

"Thanks," Searchlight said.  _ We'll have to... Hang on… 'Wave, do you already know where Yoketron lives? That lets us skip a few steps in the process. _

I nodded slightly. I did not want Yoketron to leave. He, Cablereach, and my friends were the fragile pyramid I balanced on and without him, I wasn't sure if I could make it through this term.

_ You're really the best, mech. Want to skip our last class to go see him? _

I shook my helm. My last class was Cablereach's and he would  _ definitely  _ notice if I wasn't there.

We waited until most of the room had emptied before going up and trying to talk to the teacher.

Searchlight was in front. "I'm looking at going into a career after this," he said. "But do you still have spots open? I don't have a mentor yet."

"Of course," she said. "Are you sure you don't want to go on in your education? It'll help you get a head start if you're going into politics."

Searchlight shook his helm. "It's not absolutely necessary, and I'd rather take my time and move up from the bottom."  _ I'd rather be done with school and out in the real world where I can make a difference. _

"Okay," the teacher said.  _ At least he seems to have some sort of plan… _

Ratchet said he wanted to go on in school and so did I. I wasn’t  _ actually  _ planning to go, but I knew all the teachers would argue with me if I told the truth. Honestly, I wished I  _ could  _ go to an Academy, but there was no way I’d survive, especially with my range expanding.

Breeze also wanted to go straight to the work force. She was going to be a psychiatrist, and probably a very good one at that.

"Well," Searchlight said as we walked out of the room. "I'll see you mechs in art."  _ I really hope that class isn't graded on talent, because I can't draw. Really, couldn't Breeze pick something that wasn't so pointless? I guess it's only fair—she did put up with Circuit-Su for me. _

We went our separate ways.

* * *

It had been a problem—a relatively serious problem—for the past two terms, but now it was getting ridiculous. When I was in one class, I was actually in several. I found during my first class of the orn that I had five other classrooms in my range, so I was really learning five different things from five different teachers and I couldn't block any of them out. I'd already had a processor ache from the assembly, and this really wasn't helping. At least we were only doing the basic, introductory lectures this orn. I knew from experience it would get worse later.

This term, my range tended to cover at least parts of five to seven classrooms at a time. Most of the time not every classroom near me was full, but still, by the time I was done for the orn I felt almost as exhausted as I had at the end of last term.

I found Searchlight in his room and we left Ratchet with instructions to tell Breeze where we had gone if she came asking, then we left the building.

"So, how are you holding up?" Searchlight asked, once we were out in front of the school.

"All right," I lied. I was grateful that Breeze had helped me get rid of my stutter—now no one could use it to gauge how I was feeling. It probably wasn't a good thing that I could hide how much pain I was in, but it wasn't like they'd be able to do anything about it if they knew.

"You seemed really fragged at the end of last term."

I shrugged. "I'll probably be worse by the end of this one."

_ I am so sorry, mech.  _ "Well," Searchlight said. "Let me know what I can do to help."

Nothing. No one could do anything to help.

"Okay, so where does he live?"  _ Please don't tell me it's outside of Kalis. _

"Follow me." I transformed and flew up high above the city.

Thank Primus for flying alt modes. If I had to wade through the thousands of processors down below, I'd be non-functional by the end of the orn.

I was more and more jealous that that sort of thing was so easy for all of them. They were safe, encased in their own plating. They didn't have to be everywhere and see and feel everything that was happening around them.

They didn't realize how good they had it. Even Searchlight, who was aware of my difficulties, did not really appreciate his luck.

Eventually, we landed in front of a small apartment complex.

"Here?" Searchlight said.  _ Isn't he famous? This place is tiny. Don't you think he'd live somewhere nicer? _

It wasn't that bad. And this was Master Yoketron we were talking about. Did Searchlight really think he’d live in some kind of mansion or something?

I let Searchlight lead the way in. I didn't know his exact address, but I knew he lived on one of the higher floors, so we walked around the building until we got close enough that his apartment was in my range.

I commed Searchlight to let him know which door it was and he hit the entry request.

Yoketron came to the door and opened it, curious at first and then surprised.

I'd picked up from his thoughts that he really was leaving, though it was hard to get anything else from him because he was wondering how we'd found out where he lived.

"Welcome," he said. "I should have known you two would come and find me."  _ I do wish I could have stayed a little longer and continued to teach them. They've been excellent students. They remind me how much I love my job.  _ He was suddenly very sad.  _ I'm going to miss that. _

Master Yoketron wasn't just leaving the school, he was going to stop teaching.

Searchlight didn't pick up on that, of course. "We heard you're leaving, and you didn't tell us, so we had come to see if you were all right."

"Thank you," Master Yoketron said. "Do come in." He waved us forward. "It is barren in here at the moment, but I promise I'm normally a better interior decorator."

"That's okay," Searchlight said, looking around at the blank walls. "So… you're really leaving?"

"Yes. And I had asked my colleagues at the school not to make much of a fuss about it. I'm not sure  _ how  _ you two managed to discover the whereabouts of my home."

Searchlight shrugged.

Master Yoketron waved for us to follow him. He brought us to the living room, which also had bare walls, and sparse furniture, and invited us to sit down on a bench, then pulled up a chair to face us. "All right," he said, still smiling fondly, "Questions, demands, accusations." He looked at me. "You'd better go first, Soundwave."

I looked down. I was going to miss how calm he was. I would not have survived the last term without his class. "Where are you going?"

"Iacon at first," Yoketron said. "That is where my belongings have gone at least. Then perhaps to Simfur for a time, depending on the circumstances."  _ I made that promise so long ago. It's good, I suppose, that it's finally almost over, but at the same time… _

"Really?" Searchlight said. "How come?"

He didn't want to think about it, but it had something to do with when he'd talked to Primus. Something to do with the Quintesson wars, and war in general.  _ I have one more student to train. I still don't feel ready.  _ "That, Searchlight, would be a very long story. And I don't feel up to telling it at the moment."

Searchlight raised an optic ridge.  _ Why bring it up if he's not going to tell us?  _ "Master Yoketron… I guess you're entitled to your secrets, but…"

"Now I've made you curious?"

"Yes," Searchlight said.

"I do feel I should warn you," Yoketron said. "A storm is coming. My hope is that if we are ready for it, we will be able to weather it. I am going to… if it's possible… help with the preparations."  _ One more student—the last of the Primes. _

Searchlight frowned.  _ What the slag is that supposed to mean?  _ "Uh… Master Yoketron..."

Master Yoketron smiled. "My apologies. That was unfairly cryptic."

"What kind of a storm?" I asked.

He looked at me and in his processor I heard echoes of shouting and explosions, and saw darkness and death. War—he thought war was coming. "I know you're both aware of the sorry state our government is in. We haven't had leadership so corrupt on this planet since the orns of Sentinel Prime. But according to the Covenant of Primus, this is only the beginning. I don't know for certain what will happen, but the near future holds times at least as dangerous as the Quintesson wars."

"So…" Searchlight said. "What do we do? To prepare?"

"Hopefully, things will be fine for many vorns yet," Master Yoketron said. "I don't mean to worry you unnecessarily. You, my friend, can prepare by finishing school, and doing as much good in the world as you possibly can. Primus knows we need some good to balance out the darkness."

Searchlight nodded.

"Now," Master Yoketron said, "I apologize that I will be unable to teach you any more. You must continue to learn and practice on your own."

"We'll do that," Searchlight said.

"Thank you. And thank you for coming. It is good to see both of you. The two of you have learned admirably, and I hope you can take what I have taught you and continue. There is some likelihood that I won't see either of you again."

"My mech creator always says life is many vorns," Searchlight said. "I'm sure we'll run into each other eventually… unless you're dying or something. Are you sure you're all right?"

"I am perfectly fine," Yoketron said, but I could feel his age weighing on him. This promise he'd made was what had kept him from returning to the Allspark hundreds of vorns ago.

He looked at me.  _ Parting words are hard, _ he thought.  _ You'd think they would get easier with practice.  _ "It has been an honor," Yoketron said. "To teach both of you."

We nodded.

"Thank you," Searchlight said. "It's been an honor to learn from you."

Yoketron smiled sadly. "Thank you, Searchlight."

Silence stretched out for a few astroseconds.

"I should let you go," Yoketron said. "But first… I do have a few words of advice."

"Okay," Searchlight said.

"Soundwave," Yoketron said. "You are quiet, but you are also wise and strong. I know you have faced challenges in your life, and I am sure you will face many more. But of all my students, there are few who I trust more than you to use your skills and abilities for good. Do not let your fears control you, and do not ever forget that doing the right thing is  _ always  _ worth it."

"Thank you," I said.

"Searchlight, I have no need to tell you to be bold, but you would do well to consider the consequences of your actions a little more often. Again, I trust you. And you should trust yourself. Keep following your spark—it came from Primus, and will always lead you toward the light."

Searchlight shook his helm. "More universe nonsense?" he said, but he wasn't really complaining.

"In other words," Yoketron said with a bit of a smirk. "Don't be an idiot... And listen to your friends."

"That, I can understand," Searchlight said.

"You are lucky. You have a rare group of friends." Yoketron said. "In the future, you may not all do great things in the sight of the world, but you can do great things in Primus's sight, no matter where your paths take you."

We nodded.

"Good," Master Yoketron said. "Now, is there anything else you would ask of me?"

Searchlight and I glanced at each other.  _ What more could he have done for us?  _ "Well…" Searchlight said. "I just… want to thank you. You've taught us so much. We're going to miss you at the school. Are you sure you have to go?"

"Quite certain."

Searchlight looked down.

"I could echo what Searchlight sa-aid." I nodded to him. "Word for word."

"Thank you."  _ Now I have to get them out before they ask more questions and I start telling them things they shouldn't know.  _ Master Yoketron walked us to the door.

_ We really are going to miss him.  _ Searchlight hesitated, then turned around and embraced the ancient mech. Yoketron was surprised for a moment, but relaxed and returned the embrace. Then he and Searchlight let go of each other and he beckoned me forward.

For a few moments, I felt the peace he did, and the quiet pulsing of his spark. Then he released me again. "Farewell,"  _ If my career is to end, at least it ends on a high note.  _ "For now."

"For now," Searchlight said. "Good luck with whatever it is you're doing."

"And good luck with your last term of school."

Searchlight bowed formally to him, and I followed suit.

Yoketron returned the gesture. "Till all are one," he said with a smile.

We turned and left. Master Yoketron watched us walk down the hall, and around the corner.

"Wow," Searchlight said when we got outside again. "That was interesting. And kind of dramatic. Did you pick up on what he's going to do?"

I shook my helm. "But I think he's retiring," I said. "He's not going to teach anymore."

"What?" Searchlight demanded. "Why?"

I shrugged.

"Come on, 'Wave, you have to know something."

If I told him everything I'd picked up, he'd probably go right back and demand an explanation. I shrugged again.

Searchlight sighed.  _ I get it. Letting mechs keep their secrets and all. I do appreciate that, even though it's annoying sometimes. Do you  _ have  _ to be so good all the time, 'Wave? _

I shrugged again.

_ Yoketron's right, you're probably the most trustworthy mech on the entire planet.  _ "You know, I'm really glad you're the one with… I mean…"  _ I'm glad you're the one with mind reading. _

Yeah, that wasn't the only reason he should be grateful it wasn't him.

We flew back to the school. It had been nice to go flying and get away from everyone, but I still had a pretty bad processor ache, and I was exhausted.

"I'm not coming to your room," I told Searchlight. "I'm tired."

"Yeah."  _ First day's always long, and he's probably got a processor ache.  _ "I can imagine." He put a hand on my shoulder. "Take care of yourself, okay? Go get some rest. You're the only best friend I have."

I nodded. "Thanks."

I walked to my room. They'd given me the same one as last term, so it wasn't so far from Searchlight's. Not quite in range of it, but not much of a walk. I got in and shut the door behind myself, then walked over and collapsed onto the berth.

Ravage hopped over from the desk.  _ Are you okay? What's wrong? _

"I'm ju-ust tired."

Laserbeak flew down from the ceiling and landed on my back.  _ Are you hurt again? _

"Yeah."

_ I hate mecha. They need to stop hurting you. _

"They don't do it on purpose." Most of them didn't even know they were doing it.

"Shut up and let him rest," Ravage snapped.

_ Tell  _ him  _ to shut up,  _ Laserbeak thought back, and made an unhappy whirring sound.

"Be nice, Ravage," I said. "I don't want to have to so-o-olve an argument ri-ight now."

_ Sorry. _

_ Sorry. _

I sighed. Laserbeak shifted into a more comfortable position on my back and Ravage curled up around my helm. I lay there for a long time, trying to rest. It was hard because the students in the other rooms around me were still awake, but eventually exhaustion won out.


	41. Pain

The next orn wasn't that much better. When class was over, I was sorely tempted to go up to the relative quiet of the roof instead of Searchlight's room, but I wanted to be with my friends and so did Ravage. Laserbeak was mostly indifferent to Searchlight, and only mildly disliked Breeze and Ratchet at this point. She came along because she was bored.

"Hey, 'Wave," Searchlight said as I came in.

Ravage jumped off of my shoulders and onto the back of Ratchet's chair. He hung his tail down so it swung between Ratchet's datapad and his faceplate.

_ If he doesn't move that thing, I hope he knows I will pull it. _

I went over and took my spot at Searchlight's desk.

"Hey," he said. "I was thinking this orn that we're going to need to replace Master Yoketron's class with something."

I shrugged. I had spent the free joor on the roof. "I-I wouldn't mind not signing up for another class. It was only an elective. We don't need it."

"Okay," Searchlight said. "But I was thinking…"  _ Maybe we could spar on the roof during that time. Stay practiced, you know. _

I nodded.

"Hey," Breeze poked Searchlight. "The rule."

"Right," Searchlight said. "We could practice up on the roof."

"Practice what?"

"You know, Circuit-Su. Instead of Yoketron's class."

Breeze nodded.  _ We really do need to follow the rule, though.  _ "Thanks for talking out loud."

"Could we make a new rule?" I asked. "And everyone just not think at all while I'm here."

"I'm cool with that," Searchlight said. "Breeze?"

"Are you doing okay, Soundwave?" Breeze asked.  _ You were having a really hard time last term. _

"I'm fine," I told her, and pulled a datapad out of subspace. I was going to need to study extra hard this term because it was harder to concentrate in class. I started working through my homework but gave up when Searchlight decided we should all have a discussion about his favorite lobbing team.

* * *

Art should have been easy compared to the other classes. I didn't have to think about anything very hard, and neither did anyone else, but the class next to us was really intense. They took a pretest on the third orn of school, and that pretty much wiped me out for the rest of the orn. Instead of Searchlight's room, I took Laserbeak down below the city and we flew around until I found somewhere quiet. Then I was so tired I fell into recharge, and when I woke up my internal timepiece read that it was the beginning of the off-cycle. I got up and flew with Laserbeak back to the school.

Searchlight was sitting with Ravage in my room. Both of them were worried about me.

"'Wave!" He got up and came over. "What happened?"

I shrugged. "I went flying and lost track of the time."

"Oh," Searchlight said.  _ Okay. You shouldn't scare us like that. I mean we figured you'd gone flying, but it's past lights-out… _

I shrugged. "Sorry."

"Nah, it's fine. I'm glad you're not kidnapped or stuck somewhere. Sorry for invading your room."

Ravage leaped up onto the desk, then to my shoulders, and Searchlight got up and left. It was past curfew so he'd get in trouble if he was caught out in the hallways. I felt kind of bad about that. It was mostly my fault.

Things didn't get better from there. It got to the point where I couldn't remember what it was like not to be in pain. I went flying almost every orn after classes, or went down under the city. Far above, or far below, everything was quiet and peaceful. Flying was dangerous though. I was so tired that as soon as it was quiet, I started to shut down, even if there was nothing between me and the distant ground.

I stopped talking to my friends as much, and came to Searchlight's room only on occasion. They were worried but they had other things to occupy them. Searchlight and Breeze were perfectly content to spend time with each other, and Ratchet was always busy.

So I was essentially on my own.

And my range continued to grow.

* * *

Cablereach had talked to my other teachers about letting me take tests on my own. Not all of them did it, because it took time out of their schedules, but the majority of them were willing. When tests started, I began to spend a lot of time after class in the teachers' offices, and I couldn't always go flying afterward. I wasn't doing particularly well on the tests either. It was just too hard to study for everything.

I took Cablereach's first test in his office while he wasn't there—he didn't want to accidentally give me any of the answers. When he came back in, he graded my test before I left. I did not do very well.

"Soundwave," he said quietly when he was finished. "How wide is your range this term?"

I shrugged. "Not too bad," I lied.

_ Are you sure? _

"It's harder material."

_ His stutter's not that bad. But I've heard from all his teachers that he's like this. Soundwave, if you're having a hard time, please let me know. _

I looked down. "There's no-othing you can do."

"I can come up with something."  _ Primus, he  _ is  _ having trouble.  _ "How wide is your range?"

I hesitated.

"Tell me."

"I can usually hear three or four other whole classrooms." I said.

"Does it… doesn't having that many in your range give you a processor ache?"

I shrugged.

"Soundwave."

"Yes," I whispered. It never stopped.

Cablereach looked down.  _ What can be done about this? What are our options? This isn't acceptable. _

"It's okay," I said.

"If it's bad enough that it's affecting your ability to study then we need to treat it somehow," Cablereach said. "I'll get in contact with Crescent and discuss it with her."

"No," I said. "It's fine." She would probably take me out of the school. I wasn't quite to the point where I wanted that. Maybe if I trusted Crescent more… but she did not tend to consider my best interests a high priority, and my preferences were even lower on the list.

"Soundwave," Cablereach said. "If you can't concentrate in class… I'm sure we can find  _ some  _ sort of solution to this. But I have to run everything by Crescent."  _ I'm not sure why he's so afraid of her. She's perfectly reasonable every time I talk to her. Did she abuse him as a sparkling or something? _

I shook my helm, though she had most certainly done that. And of course she was always polite around Cablereach. She wanted him on her side, because he would come up with all the solutions for keeping my abilities secret and all she had to do was approve things.

She wouldn't want me to move back in with her. If I told her about this, she would withdraw me from the school and send me somewhere else. Wherever that was, even if it was quieter, it wouldn't have Searchlight, Breeze, or Ratchet, and I wasn't altogether sure I would be able to keep my symbionts. I told myself the pain wasn't bad enough for that yet. "Y-You can talk to her. But I'll probably be fine until the end of the term."

_ Yes, you'll be able to push through, but that's not the same as being fine. You shouldn't have to put up with being in pain for a quarter of a vorn. Soundwave, that's ridiculous. _

I sighed.

"We'll work this out. Don't worry. Can you hold on for a few more decaorns?"

I nodded. "Thanks." I didn't trust adults on principle—probably because of Crescent—but there was nothing so comforting as knowing there was one who had promised to make things right somehow.

I left Cablereach's office feeling a little better. I was even feeling up to bringing Ravage and Laserbeak to Searchlight's room, so I got them and crossed the student wing.

Searchlight's room was empty. I was confused for a moment before I remembered him asking me if I wanted to come see a holovid with the other three after class. I hadn't declined, but I hadn't said I was coming either. They must have gone ahead and left without me. I sat in my spot for a while, but realized they'd feel bad if they came and found me here by myself. So I got up and went back to my own room.

"You know what we need?" Ravage asked.

I knew what he thought we needed.

"I promise we'll keep them in line. And they'll be able to help. You know they will."

That was true. It wasn't that I didn't want them here, I just worried about them getting in trouble.

_ If you don't tell Searchlight how much trouble you're having, I'll tell him,  _ Ravage threatened.

I sat down at my desk and started doing some overdue homework. "I'm fine."

_ I hate it when you lie,  _ Laserbeak said.  _ You're not fine. And Ravage is right, we should bring Rumble and Frenzy here. Then you'd be able to recharge more easily. _

That was true. Maybe I should suggest that to Searchlight and Cablereach the next time I saw either of them.

* * *

The next orn was awful. I didn't have any tests myself, but the advanced class in my range during art did, and then there was another one I could hear during Cablereach's class. I was in so much pain that I barely made it back to my room. My energon levels were low, so I really ought to go down to the energon hall but it was so crowded all the time and I knew it would make things worse. I didn't have the energy to go flying, so I just curled up in the corner of my room that was the quietest and waited for the pain to retreat to a manageable level again.

About two joors after classes ended, Searchlight came into my range. He was half-angry, half-worried. He wasn't sure why I wasn't coming to his room anymore. He figured it couldn't be because of my mind reading because his room really wasn't much more crowded than mine if you took into account the fact that I could hear three or four rooms away in every direction.

I got up as he approached and went to open the door for him before he could request entry. My symbionts followed me.

"Hey, 'Wave," Searchlight said. "You okay to talk right now?"

I nodded and went to sit down at my desk, looking away from him.

_ So, what does that mean?  _ "Okay," Searchlight said, stepping inside and letting the door close behind himself. "I know I haven't been the best friend lately. This past break I mostly ignored you and now we're back here and… I don't know. I just wanted to let you know even though I haven't really been paying as much attention as I should… we do miss you. And…"  _ I wish you would trust me.  _ "'Wave?"

I didn't move.

_ I'm not like you. I can't tell what you're thinking. You have to talk and let me know what you're upset about. Come on, you're my best friend. Don't you trust me? I miss you coming to my room and hanging out with us. I'm not going to just let you disappear. You didn't think I would, did you? _

I still didn't move. I was torn. There was nothing he could do and he would have to know that. If I just told him nothing was wrong and started coming to his room again, they'd figure out pretty quickly that I wasn't all right.

I just had to get through this term.

And then what?

"Look," Searchlight said. "I am not giving up. I hope you understand that."  _ If you don't want to talk right now, I'll leave and come back later. _

I looked down.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Fine. See you in art."

He turned to leave.

"Se-e-earchli-igt."

He froze.

I shuddered.

_ Oh, Primus.  _ "Soundwave," Searchlight tuned again and took a step toward me. "What the slag…"  _ I haven't heard his stutter that bad since… since before Breeze helped him fix it. _

"I ju-ust… just…"

"That's it," Searchlight came over and sat down on my berth. "I'm not leaving here until you tell me why you've been avoiding us."

I pulled a datapad out of subspace. It had been a long time since I'd done this, but it would be easier than talking. That much was certain. [I'm sorry. I've been tired all the time.]

Searchlight read it and frowned at me. "So in other words, you're in so much pain you just come here and collapse every orn after classes."

I shrugged.

"Primus," Searchlight looked down at the datapad. "We…"

"Have to do-o-o something about that?" I guessed.

Searchlight's lip plates quirked up toward a smile, but he felt sick.  _ I can hear the pain in his voice now I'm listening for it.  _ "What can I do?"

I held out my hand for the datapad, and he gave it to me.

[Bringing Rumble and Frenzy to the school might help a little.]

_ Well, we can do that.  _ "Sure," he said. "I'll talk to Keepsake and Cam. I'm sure Cam will be glad to get them out of the house."  _ I hope Ravage can keep them under control. But if it will help, and it becomes necessary for me to skip classes to help babysit them, I will. And I mean that in all seriousness. _

I looked up at him. The worry he was feeling didn't help me with mine. "Thanks," I said anyway.

"You should have said something sooner. Have you talked to Cablereach?"

[I had to take a test for his class and I did so poorly he insisted on knowing what was wrong.]

Searchlight nodded. "Mech I am so sorry I didn't notice before."

[I was careful to make sure you didn't. There's not much you can do besides worry, and I didn't want you to worry.]

"Hey," Searchlight said. "I'm worried, but I'm also a little relieved because I understand what's going on now. You don't have to keep all your problems to yourself, 'Wave. I mean, everyone else shares their problems with you, even if they don't want to. You've got a right to complain once in a while, especially if something's really wrong. Oh, Primus…"  _ It probably never stops hurting. Slag it, Wave… _

See, this was why I hadn't wanted to tell him.

_ I guess we knew this was going to happen eventually, didn't we? You're probably going to need to leave the school. _

I shook my helm.

"'Wave, you can't just push through this. That's… I don't want you to leave, but if your range is big enough you can't concentrate in class and you're in pain all the time… surely that's not worth it."

I took the datapad. [You and Breeze and Ratchet are the only friends besides Ravage that I've ever had. It's worth it.]

"No," Searchlight said. "Not if you're too tired to come hang out with us."  _ I'm going to miss him so much if he has to leave. Maybe Rumble and Frenzy will be able to help enough that he can stay here.  _ "Can we go talk to Cablereach? I want to see if he has any ideas.”

I nodded and pushed away from my desk. My symbionts stayed with me, Ravage on my shoulders and Laserbeak clinging to my back. I hadn't intended to leave my room that orn. I'd found if I stayed put, I'd eventually get used to the minds around me—enough that I could recharge at least.

But I followed Searchlight through the hallway and we went to Cablereach's office. I was worried he wouldn't be there, because he usually left by that time, but we caught him as he was getting ready to go home for the orn.

Searchlight knocked on the door and he admitted us.

"Oh, Soundwave," he said. "Come in, both of you. How are you doing?"  _ I talked to Crescent.  _ "I talked to Crescent."

"About Soundwave?" Searchlight asked.

Cablereach nodded.

"So what's going to happen?" Searchlight asked.

"Well," Cablereach said, "There are a few options. Soundwave could drop out of school and study on his own for the rest of the term. He'd probably be able to pass the entrance exams for the Academy at Iacon if he wanted… of course then he'd have to go there and he'd have the same problem again, but worse because there are more students, more crowds, and a lot more for everyone to think about."

I'd always expected to go insane by the time I was old enough to go to the Academy. Of course, I shouldn't have been worried about that. I should have been worried about this, about this pain stretching out to fill my entire existence.

If my range continued to grow, I'd need to go live somewhere far away from civilization and eventually somewhere away from the planet.

"Is there a-another solution besides leaving?" I asked.

"We could talk to your medic," Cablereach said. "Crescent's wary of that, because he'll be curious, but you can tell him you don't know why you're in pain. He'll probably be able to give you something that helps, even if he can't figure out the problem. Some kind of upgrade or drug that at least lowers the pain level."

Searchlight looked down—he didn't like that idea.

"That's not necessarily a permanent solution either," Cablereach said, "And you might have to experiment with that a little. But there's a good chance you'll find something that helps enough."  _ I don't like that solution, but it might help you get through this term if that's what you want to do. _

_ Okay,  _ Searchlight thought.  _ But first we should try something less extreme.  _ "Okay… but we were also thinking we could bring a few more symbionts. There are two more that belong to Soundwave that my creators are taking care of."

Cablereach nodded. "That sounds like a good first thing to try."  _ The question is whether it will be enough. _

It wouldn't, but it would definitely help some.

"Yes," Searchlight agreed. "I can bring them next orn."

"And let me know how that works," Cablereach said. "It would be best if we didn't have to do anything drastic."  _ Not to say that we can just ignore this. We have to find some sort of solution to this problem—some sort of permanent solution. _

Searchlight nodded.

"Soundwave's going to be okay, right?" Ravage asked.

"He's going to be okay," Cablereach said firmly.

Searchlight nodded as well.

We left Cablereach's office and walked back to my room. I was about ready to collapse once we got there, and Searchlight was going to leave and let me rest, but I stopped in the doorway and turned around.

"Searchlight?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

_ For what.  _ "Uh… why, mech?"

"If it weren't for you, I'd be dealing wi-ith this by-y my-yself."

Searchlight shook his helm. "That's so wrong you know. Crescent really is a glitch. You are more than welcome to any help I can offer. Always."

I nodded. It didn't get rid of the processor ache, but it kept me here, and helped me keep going. I had friends here, who weren't willing to give up on me.

He left.

He brought Rumble and Frenzy the next orn. I wondered what would happen if they got in trouble. Crescent would probably be able to talk the school out of forcing me to get rid of them, but first I'd have to talk her into doing so. And I didn't think she'd like the two of them very much.

They were being decently good for Searchlight, sitting on his shoulders. I let him into my room and he put them down on my desk.

"Are you okay?" Frenzy asked.  _ I thought he was hurt or something? _

"Course he's not," Rumble said.  _ He's got a slagging eternal processor ache, how is he supposed to be all right? _

It hadn't been long, but I'd already missed them. Ravage hopped off of my shoulders and I realized I was picking up at least some of the happiness from him.  _ He  _ had missed them. He knocked Rumble over and pounced on Frenzy.

"Hey," Searchlight said. "Ravage, come on."  _ Don't start a fight. I don't think Soundwave's room can handle that. _

I waved him off. I didn't have much that was breakable in here. Ravage would keep them from leaving the room, and that was all I needed.

"Anything else?" Searchlight asked.

I shook my helm.

He hesitated, standing in the doorway. "Let me know if you need anything," he said before walking away.

This orn hadn't been quite as bad as the previous one. Not good enough that making the trek to Searchlight's room was worth it, but not so bad that my stutter was acting up. "So, there are rules."

_ Aw, _ Frenzy thought  _ Rules? Again? Why are there always rules? _

_ How many?  _ Ravage wondered.  _ I can't make them follow a long list of rules. _

"The first rules is that you need to stay in this room unless you're with me and I've given you permission to leave."

They waited expectantly.

"The second rule is don't bother Laserbeak."

_ Thank you,  _ Laserbeak thought fervently.

"The third rule is don't break the desk or the berth or damage the walls, ceiling, or floor. If y-you break my things I can replace them, but if you break the parts of this room that belong to the school we'll have tro-ouble."

"What about the chair?" Frenzy asked.

"Don't break that either."

"The door?"

"Oh, shut up," Rumble shoved Frenzy. "You know what he means."

_ Did you really just give them permission to break your things?  _ Laserbeak wondered.  _ This is going to be interesting. _

"I would prefer that you didn't break anything," I said. "But be especially careful of the things that a-aren't mine."

"Another rule," Ravage said. "When Soundwave's here, we all stick as close to him as possible. You're here because he's sick. The goal is to help him, okay?"

The twins nodded.

"Thank you," I said.

Ravage climbed back onto my shoulders. Frenzy decided to take up a post on top of my helm, which actually kind of hurt, but I wasn't going to say anything about it, and Rumble sat in my lap. I did homework for a while but only got about halfway done before I was too tired to keep going. I curled up on the berth with my symbionts. It was significantly easier to recharge with four of them.

* * *

The next orn I came back after class feeling better than normal. I collected my little menagerie and took them with me to Searchlight's room. Ravage jumped onto Ratchet's chair, but the other three stayed with me.

Breeze got up from my typical spot and rushed over to embrace me.  _ Soundwave, are you okay? We were getting worried. _

Searchlight grinned. "Hey, you came."

"Sit down," Breeze said. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I sat down in Searchlight's desk chair and Breeze moved to the berth to sit by Searchlight.

"The processor ache isn't the only symptom, is it?" Ratchet asked from his desk, not looking up from what he was reading.

"I'm also tired."

"You should find a medic you trust," Ratchet said.  _ Or you could die. No one knows how to treat your specific problem, obviously, but mecha with similar symptoms usually have some sort of improper coding in their processor. If you don't find a solution to that sort of thing, it can be fatal. _

I tried not to feel sick. I was glad he hadn't said that out loud.

Frenzy, who had clung to my arm on the way over, climbed down to Searchlight's desk. "Hey!" he said, staring at Breeze. "I know who you are."

Breeze smiled at him. "Yeah, I'm Breeze, remember?"

"Yeah," Frenzy said. "Hey, Soundwave, it's Breeze."

_ He's really adorable,  _ Breeze thought. She held out her hands and Frenzy let her pick him up and put him in her lap, where he sat contentedly.

It wasn't fair that he was so well-behaved around her. She probably wouldn't like him as much if she saw what he was like most of the time, clumsy little scraplet.

I was a little surprised at that thought for a moment before realizing it hadn't come from me. It was jealousy from Searchlight. It should have been amusing, but instead it frightened me, because I hadn't originally been able to distinguish it from my own thoughts and emotions.

Sometimes I couldn't remember which class I was in, especially during art where I didn't need to think that much.

And studying was getting even harder. There was no way for me to read anything and retain what I had read. I just couldn't concentrate long enough to commit things to permanent memory. It was hard to access anything from my memories too, even when I was alone now.

I sat and listened to them talk and think and feel and then went back to my room to crash on the berth.

The next few orns were like that, and then I had a test and afterward I skipped Cablereach's class to go curl up on my berth. The room was a mess because Rumble and Frenzy were destructive when they were bored. Ravage apologized for not being able to control them, but I ignored him. They all gathered around me, but it still hurt so much that I couldn't move. I was very tempted to force myself into stasis, but I wasn't sure if it would stop the pain, and it would certainly frighten my symbionts—they might think I was dead.

When classes were over, Cablereach came to my room to check on me.

I got up and dragged myself over to the door to let him in.

"Soundwave," he said. "Are you all right? You didn't come to class."

"He's not all right," Ravage said. "I think he must have had a test or something."

"Okay," Cablereach said. "Come with me."  _ I've had Crescent make an appointment with your medic. _

"Where are you going?" Frenzy asked.

Cablereach surveyed the disarray of the room.  _ Well, I no longer wonder why he didn't want to bring those other two here. _

Laserbeak flew up to the ceiling.  _ You'll be coming back, right? _

"Of course I-I-I'll be co-oming back." I said.

"Good," Ravage said. "Do we have to stay here?"

I nodded.

"But you need us," Frenzy said.

"I'll be all right. You be-e-ehave while I'm gone."

Ravage climbed off of my shoulders and hopped down to the floor. Their worry was making me worried. I wished I could reassure them that I'd be all right, but I didn't know.

Cablereach walked beside me through the hallway. Searchlight's door was open and as we walked past it, Searchlight got up and came out.

"What's going on?" he asked.

We stopped and turned around. "We're taking Soundwave to see his medic."

Searchlight nodded, and jogged over to us. He put a hand on my shoulder briefly.  _ Take care. We'll be thinking about you. _

I knew.

Searchlight walked back to his room and Cablereach and I continued down the hall.

_ I called for a transport to take you home. I think I'll go with you just to be sure you get there all right. _

That was good. There was no way I could walk through the city all the way to Crescent's house and I was too tired to fly.

The transport was waiting outside the school. He was a sentient transport—a large, friendly mech. He and Cablereach chatted a little, but I just turned my screen off and sat still as we were driven through the city. Moving so fast and brushing minds with so many mecha was not good for me, especially after the orn I'd been having. By the time we got to Crescent's house, I could barely stand up. I must have managed to hide it pretty well, because Cablereach didn't notice as we got out and walked to the front door.

I let us in, and Crescent came out of her office and walked over to meet us.  _ I really wish you wouldn't be such a problem, Soundwave. I'm always having to put things off in order to baby you.  _ "Thank you for bringing him," she said to Cablereach. "We’ll go see he medic in a joor. I've called the secretary at the school and told her Soundwave might be staying home next orn due to illness."

"Thank you," Cablereach replied. "I'll leave you here then."

He shot me an encouraging smile and went back over to the transport. The door closed behind him.

"What is this about, Soundwave?" Crescent said. "You've been getting processor aches since you were a sparkling. Why are you making such a fuss about it now?"

I shrugged.

She huffed a sigh. "Well, if you can't stop your range from expanding, then it's no use complaining about it. What are we going to tell the medic? We aren't explaining it to him, that's for certain. I don't trust him to keep quiet. So what do we tell him?"

I shrugged again.

_ This is your problem. You are going to have to come up with something or I'll just cancel the appointment. If you can't go to school, I can always just send you out to live somewhere remote. _

"We could tell him we do-on't know why. Just leave out the mind readi-ing."

"I suppose…" Crescent said.  _ It saves both of us from needing to come up with some convincing story. But then he'll be trying to figure it out on his own. _

I nodded.

_ And I thought you'd fixed that stutter. _

I shrugged.

_ I'm going to my room. Your appointment's in a joor, but it's only a ten breem walk, so just I guess you can find something to do until then.  _ She walked away.

I sat down in the front room and put my helm in my hands, trying to wait out the pain, counting astroseconds as they ticked by. Her study was in my range, so it wasn't exactly quiet, but it was much better than the school, and the processor ache didn't get any worse. Eventually, Crescent came back out and we left her house.

I wasn't so sure I could walk the whole way, but somehow I did. Crescent's medic welcomed us in.

"Good orn," he said. "How are you, Crescent?"

"Very well. Better than Soundwave at least."  _ I'm going to have to play concerned caretaker now. You know, you're lucky I was in town this decaorn. _

"Yes," the medic said, turning his attention to me.  _ I'll want to hear him talk before I do any scans.  _ "I hear you've been having problems with a processor ache?"

I nodded.

"Can you… describe that to me?"  _ I've always been a little worried about this one. And curious _ — _ I've never been allowed to see all of his files. _

"My whole helm hurts, most of the time," I said. "And I'm tired, and it's hard to concentrate in school."

_ Well, they must have done something about that stutter. Also, if past experience is any indicator, this mechling's not prone to exaggerating.  _ "How long has this been going on for?"

I hesitated. In truth, it had been going on since I was a sparkling, but I couldn't tell him that. "Uh… it started to-oward the end of last term." That was when all the processor aches had merged into one.

He nodded thoughtfully. "Has it been getting worse?"

"Yes."

"All right. I'm going to do a scan, just to check your vitals."

I nodded, and he scanned me. He was surprised at the pain readings. He also noticed that my energon levels were low, and he thought that might be causing my exhaustion. Searchlight had started bringing me energon to spare me from going to the energon hall, but I had to share it between my symbionts and myself. Also, my processor was working too hard, which meant I needed more fuel to function normally.

"Well…" he said.

"Well?" Crescent asked.

"If he's been in this much pain since last term, you should have come here before."

"Soundwave," Crescent said. "How long has it been this bad?"  _ Don't answer conclusively. _

I shrugged.

"He's just so…"  _ unapproachable doesn't sound like something I would say here.  _ "He never talks to me."

"I'll need to do some more scans," the medic said. "But something is definitely not right here."  _ And that was a pathetic excuse. They should have come sooner. _

I looked down.

"First, though," he said, "Let's deal with that processor ache." He came around behind me. "Can you open this panel at the back of your neck?"

It took me a couple of tries, but I got it open, and he started messing with my sensory grid. The pain faded to almost nothing and I felt myself relax for the first time in more than a quartex. I wanted to cry with relief.

"Is that better?"

I nodded.

And now I could pay attention to what exactly he discovered while he took some more scans. When he was finished, he stood and thought about it for several astroseconds before he spoke. "All right," he said. "Crescent, Soundwave…"

"Yes?" Crescent said.  _ Just tell me what we need to do. Primus, it must be pretty bad if he's so hesitant to talk. _

"There's definitely some... unusual activity in Soundwave's processor."

_ Oh, great, I knew we shouldn't have done this. _

"The subroutine that is responsible for putting memories into long term storage is being overtaxed. I don't know where it's getting all of its data from, but it's doing far more than it ought to."

_ Well, we knew that.  _ You  _ weren't supposed to know that, though. _

"My theory," the medic said, "Is that it's probably a discrepancy in his coding that's causing him to put multiple copies of everything he sees, thinks, or hears, into permanent memory storage. Possibly thirty or forty copies at once."

"Oh…" Crescent said. "Is… is he going to run out of memory space?"

"No," the medic said. "Not for a long time, at least. You don't need to worry about that. The main problem here is that because he wasn't built to store that much at once, the memories are getting fragmented, and it's damaging the subroutines as well. That's where the pain is coming from. If the problem continues, he could lose the ability to store and retain accessible memories."

_ Oh, Primus.  _ Crescent stared at him.

I looked down. That, I could believe. That was pretty much how it felt. The only thing he wasn't getting right was that the extra data wasn't multiple copies of my own experiences.

_ Hmmm…  _ Crescent thought.  _ He stores everyone else's thoughts in permanent memory all the time? Why the frag is he doing that? _

It wasn't my choice. It stored itself there, and I couldn't stop it.

"So…" Crescent said at length. "What are you supposed to do about something like that?"

"It's impossible to fix without modifying Soundwave's coding directly. We don't have programs that solve unique problems like this, at least none that do a good enough job."

Fear churned in my tanks. That was going to involve surgery.

"It would be a moderately dangerous procedure, and would take perhaps a decaorn to prepare for."

"There is no other option at all?" Crescent said.

"None I know of. It's a miracle he's still functioning right now. The coding of that particular routine is quite damaged."

Crescent looked down.

"You wouldn't need to find a different medic," the medic said. "I'm qualified for the procedure and have performed similar ones in the past. Successfully."

"Can we think about this for a while?"  _ Primus only knows what they'd find in that freak's helm. _

"Of course," the medic said. "I'm sure this is a lot to take in, for both of you. But I warn you that there may not be much time. You should have contacted me about this earlier."

"The pain is really the biggest problem," Crescent said. "Couldn't you just give him something for that?"

"I certainly will," the medic said. "But that's not a long-term solution, because it won't do anything to solve the problem."  _ Hmm... We'll have to be careful because it isn't a physical injury and it's hard to find anything effective on that sort of pain that doesn't have unpleasant side effects. _

Crescent sighed.  _ If we let him perform surgery, Soundwave, we may need to let him in on the secret, but I do not trust him to keep his lip plates shut. _ "Thank you very much," she said at length.

I nodded.

The medic did so as well. "Always glad to help. I'm sorry this is such bad news."

"At least it  _ is  _ treatable." Crescent said.

"We're going to need to perform some more powerful scans," the medic said. "Ones we'll need your written permission for. And we ought to try to fix this as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the more likely there will be permanent damage, and that the procedure will fail."

Crescent nodded.  _ That sounds like a terrible idea. I can't believe this is happening. At the very least I know there will be things in those scans that don't make sense. Primus beneath, what do I do?  _ "We will need time to think about it."

The medic nodded. "I'll need time to review the data as well. And I'd at least like him to come in for some deeper scans, maybe next orn?"

Crescent hesitated.

"It will help me to be certain I'm diagnosing this right."  _ Why is she so nervous about a scan?  _ "It won't be dangerous."

"Make it the orn after," Crescent said. "I'll make an appointment."

The medic nodded. "Very well."  _ You don't question her. I know I made it clear she's endangering Soundwave by putting this off.  _ "Is there anything else you need?"

"No thank you," Crescent said. "But thanks again for meeting with us on such short notice."

The medic looked at me.  _ Poor mech.  _ "It's no trouble. Now, Soundwave, I'm going to send you a jar of little capsules. I'll have it delivered to your house and you should get it within a joor or so. I want you to put one in your next cube of energon, which you ought to take as soon as possible because you're running low right now. It should help with the pain. Let me know if there are side effects, though, and we'll try something else instead."

"Thank you," I told him. And meant it much more than Crescent's thank you.

"And put one capsule in each cube of energon you take. Your pain grid will go back to normal over the next several joors, so you'll want to have the medicine in your system before the processor ache comes back in full."

I nodded.

We left and walked back to Crescent's house in silence. Crescent did not want to let them do scans or perform surgery on me.

Personally, I thought I'd rather not die. But there was also some appeal in continuing to pretend everything was fine.

"So," Crescent said once we were back inside and could talk openly. "What do you think would happen if I sent you to somewhere remote with no one else around. Would it get better?"  _ And you'd better not shrug at me. _

"I think it would," I said. "But I-I don't know."

"You think something in your processor is actually damaged?"

I nodded.

"Well, unless you want the whole world to know about you, we're going to need to find another solution to this."

"We could bring him in on the secret." I'd been surprised in the past at how well mecha kept my secret. But maybe I'd just gotten lucky.

"How well do you think he would keep his lip plates shut?"

I was with Crescent on this one. "Not very well."

"I'd have to threaten him pretty heavily."

"Yes."

"Do you know how exhausting blackmail is?"

I shrugged.

"And I thought we agreed not to tell anyone else."

We had agreed no such thing. She had demanded that I refrain from telling anyone.

_ I should just send him away. Ugh, rumors would spread. What am I to do with him? I'd get lots of sympathy if he were to offline of some incurable processor problem. I wonder how much I'd have to pay the medic to…  _ She stopped mid-thought.  _ Pit, he heard that. _

I looked down. "Well," I said. "It's not my decision, is it?"

_ No, it isn't. _

"If you decide to let me die, then there isn't much I can do about it, because you'll just threaten my friends to keep me quiet."

Crescent looked down.

"Maybe I should go to my room so it's easier fo-or you to decide without feeling guilty about it."

She glared at me.  _ We really need to get him away from that Searchlight mechling. He's a bad influence. _

"Just let me know, would you, when you've made up your mind abo-out whether or not I-I get to live. I'll need to start figuring o-out where to se-e-end my sy-ymbionts."

"Oh, go to your room," Crescent said. "You know I'm not going to just let you offline."

Sometimes it was hard to tell. I went to my room and curled up on my berth, missing my symbionts. I didn't even have Ravage with me. At least I didn't have a processor ache.

I was so tired that I slipped into recharge after a few breems, despite all the things I had to worry about.


	42. Bad News

Crescent woke me up twenty breems later to tell me that I needed to come get the pain meds the medic had sent me. I went down and put one pill in a cube of energon. It dissolved, hissing and bubbling, and changed the color of the fuel to a sort of sickly turquoise. I poured it down the port in my shoulder, and went back to my room. I was still tired and, while the pain was coming back, it was still negligible. My tanks felt a little strange, probably from the medicine, but I fell into a blissfully deep recharge for the first time in decaorns.

* * *

My systems woke me up the next on-cycle. I still felt off, but my processor didn't hurt nearly as much. I also felt better-rested than I had in a long time. Crescent was still recharging, so I crept down and put another pill in a cube of energon. I was glad I didn't have to taste it, because it looked disgusting.

Crescent came in several breems later.

_ Oh, Soundwave, you're already up. I've made an appointment for next orn. Unless we can think of something else by then, we're just going to go. _

I nodded. "What time?"

_ Sixteen joors. _

That would be after classes were over. I could go to the school. What I wanted to do was go to school and stay in my room until classes were over, then go talk to Searchlight. My symbionts were probably worried about me.

I was worried too, but mostly just relieved that I didn't feel like my helm was about to fall off. I waited for Crescent to go to the sitting room, then took several covered energon cubes and subspaced them. I left a note on the table to let her know I'd gone to school, just in case she decided to start caring.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting going out in the city with so many other processors in my range. By the time I got to school, there was a dull throb behind my screen. It wasn't the splitting pain it should have been, but it did hurt. I went right to my room. My symbionts, even Laserbeak, were piled up on my desk together, recharging. Ravage was the first one awake. He came back online as soon as I opened the door.

"Soundwave!" he sprang from the pile and almost knocked me over. I stumbled, but caught myself, feeling queasy but happy to see them all the same. The others woke up and all piled on to me as well as I sat down at my desk.

_ Yay! _

_ We thought you weren't coming back. _

_ Are you all right? _

_ Where the pit did you go? _

"I'm okay," I told them. "I'm feeling better." But I was going to need to have processor surgery, probably. Or maybe after further scans, it would come out that there was nothing they could do.

"Where did you go?" Ravage asked.

"I went to visit Crescent's medic. He tried to figure out what's wrong with me. He gave me something to take the pain away, but I'm going to need to go back next orn."

_ Are you going to be all right?  _ Laserbeak asked.

"Can you take us with you then?" Frenzy asked.

I cupped my hand around him. "No. You'll have to stay here. They can't have any distractions while they try to figure out how to help me."

"They  _ are  _ going to find a way, right?" Ravage asked.

"Of course," I said. "I'm going to be fine."

"Will you still need us afterward?" Frenzy asked.

"Frenzy!" Rumble said.

"Of course," I said. "I always will. I don't need you just because I'm sick."

"Good," Frenzy said. "We always need you too."

I leaned forward to rest my arms on the desk and Rumble and Frenzy climbed up to use them as benches.

"We were good while you were gone," Frenzy said.

"Really?" There was a nasty burning sensation in my tanks.

"We stayed up waiting for you to come back. Then you didn't, and Rumble thought you weren't going to."

"You liar," Rumble said. "You were the one who was crying."

I pulled both of them closer. "I'm sorry you were worried."

_ Frenzy was the most worried,  _ Ravage thought.  _ And he made the rest of us worry too. So we all just huddled together on the desk to wait for you to come and we fell into recharge that way. _

"I really am sorry. You know I'd never leave you here all alone. If something had happened, Searchlight would have come and told you about it."

Ravage nodded.

_ We were still worried,  _ Laserbeak thought.  _ Don't do that again. _

"Next time I'll try to give you more warning." I unsubspaced a cube of energon. "Here, all of you share this." I put it on the desk. "Take turns. Biggest to smallest."

I sat back and turned off my screen while they crowded around the cube of energon. I didn't need my screen to see anyway—I was seeing through all of their optics.

Frenzy went last because Rumble pushed him out of the way when it was their turn. I didn't stop him, because Frenzy didn't really mind, and if Frenzy went first, Rumble wasn't likely to get any. Sure enough, Frenzy tipped over the cube when it was his turn and spilled what was left all over my desk. He apologized profusely as I cleaned it up, and I told him it was all right.

Even though I wasn't in as much pain, I still had a hard time concentrating on my homework. So, I just played a mindless game on my datapad while I waited for classes to be done for the orn. Eventually, my tanks hurt enough that I didn't really feel like playing the game either. It wasn't quite as bad as the processor ache, but it was starting to get close by the time classes let out.

I intended to tell Searchlight and my other friends exactly what was happening—I owed them that. But I didn't want my symbionts, especially the twins, to worry about me. They all would if they knew how bad this really was.

I got up. "I'm going to talk to Searchlight and the others. I want you to-o stay here, though."

"Why?"

"Don't start that," I told Frenzy. "I'll be back before the off-cycle, all right?"

"Can't we come?" Ravage asked.

"Not this time."

They nodded, though they were all scared, even Laserbeak.

"Hey," I said. "I told you, things are working out. Don't be so worried." I left and made it to Searchlight's room just after he and Ratchet got there.

"Soundwave," Searchlight said. "So… what's the news?"

I held up a hand.

"Okay, we'll wait for Breeze."  _ Where are your symbionts? _

We sat and waited for Breeze. My tanks  _ really  _ hurt. If this was the side-effect of that drug it pretty much wasn't worth it.

Breeze came in.

"So," Searchlight said. "We're all here. Tell us what happened. You saw a medic, right?"

I nodded, but I didn't want to talk—I felt too sick. So I pulled out a datapad and wrote everything down, from the medic's diagnosis to Crescent's hesitance to the fact that I didn't want the symbionts to know how bad it was.

Searchlight, Breeze, and Ratchet crowded around the datapad to read it. When they were done, Searchlight handed it back to me.  _ Wow, mech, that's scary. _

_ He's going to need processor surgery,  _ Breeze thought.  _ Oh, Primus, what if they can't do anything? _

_ That is really bad. Processor surgery is no sure thing. One little mistake and you offline or get wiped. And going in to change his coding… by the Allspark… _

Thank you so much, Ratchet. That made me feel  _ so _ much better about this.

"So," Ratchet said. "You mentioned the painkiller they gave you is making your tanks hurt. Do you know what it is?"  _ I wonder if I've heard of it. A chronic processor ache would be difficult to get rid of using energon additives. _

I shrugged.

"Can I have some? To analyze? Maybe I can figure it out."

I hesitated.

"Don't be ridiculous," Searchlight said. "Soundwave needs it."  _ Besides, he's probably not supposed to hand it out and I don't trust Ratchet with drugs, the little mad scientist. _

"Well, if he's having side-effects, maybe he should give it back and get a different painkiller," Breeze said, doorwings twitching sympathetically. "Oh, Soundwave…" She put her hands to her faceplate, as the horror of the situation hit her again. I looked away.

Searchlight put an arm around Breeze. "You're going to be okay, 'Wave," he said.  _ You're going to be fine, we'll work something out. Crescent's medic is probably really good, and if he can't do it, they'll get someone who can. Mechs come out of processor surgery just fine. Slag, that's scary, but you'll be all right. _

I was grateful for his encouragement and grateful that he really meant it.

"So," Ratchet said, "You're going to be missing a lot of school Do you want us to try and keep track of what you're missing?"

"But the only class we have together is art," I said.

"Oh. Right."

"Homework?" Searchlight said. "Is that really what you're thinking about right now? Homework?"  _ Homework is not an issue. Soundwave's fragging  _ life  _ is on the line here. _

"Thanks for offering," I said. Ratchet really was worried. He just expressed it differently than most mecha.

"But really," Breeze said. "If there's anything at all that we can do. Even stuff like keep track of your schoolwork while you aren't here…"

My tanks lurched and I flinched.

"Seconded," Searchlight said, pulling Breeze a little closer. "Anything at all."

A shudder ran through me and I gripped the arms of the chair as my tanks heaved again.

"'Wave, are you all right?"

I leaned forward, venting hard, and then my tanks churned and heaved again and I felt hot liquid slide up the tube that led to the port on my shoulder. The panel over it automatically pulled away as energon spilled over the edge. I cried out and slipped from the chair to my knees as my tanks lurched and boiled and did their best to empty themselves. Off-blue, steaming energon poured down the front of my shoulder and dripped to the ground, then spurted out, splattering over Searchlight's floor.

"Mech…" Searchlight said.

I sobbed as my tanks expelled another spurt of energon, pouring it out onto the floor and down my front.

Searchlight got down off the berth and knelt by me. He put a hand on my back, but didn't say anything.

I didn't stop until my tanks were practically empty. The pain was mostly gone now, but I felt shaky and still nauseous. I sat up slowly.

Searchlight looked up. "Hey, Doc Bot, get down here and do something, would you? 'Wave, are you all right?"

I nodded.

"That energon's the wrong color," Ratchet said.

"No slag, genius," Searchlight said.

"Is that the drug? Did they have you put it in your energon?"

I nodded.

"Your tanks are probably empty then," Ratchet said. "You need to go to Ochre's office. She has some medical grade there. That should be pretty easy to keep down."

"I should cle-ean this up fi-irst."

"It's fine," Breeze said. "We'll handle the floor." She stood and pulled out a mesh rag. She offered it to me with a weak smile and I used it to mop up the energon on my shoulder, feeling self-conscious. Spewing energon all over your friends floor in front of three mecha was bad enough, but I'd done it out of my shoulder, not my mouth. Of course, they all knew I didn't have a faceplate, but it was still embarrassing.

I thanked Breeze for the rag and Searchlight and I left the room. I was feeling a little dizzy by the time I got to Ochre's office and warnings in my processor let me know that my energon levels were dangerously low.

She let us in. "Searchlight! I haven't seen you in here since last term, and I was starting to hope you'd... Oh, my, Soundwave, are you all right? Come sit down."

I sat on the berth and she scanned me.  _ Primus.. _ . "Did you ingest something unusual? Your systems are running all wrong, like there's something in your energon."

"He's on some drug or other for a chronic processor ache," Searchlight explained. "And he just emptied his tanks all over the floor. Ratchet said he needs medical grade."

Ochre nodded.  _ Yes, that's probably a good idea.  _ "What drug are you on?"

I told her the name written on the label of the jar.

"That's serious medication," she said. "What's going on? Here, I'll get you the mildest med-grade I have. I don't want any additives reacting with the drug." She went to a locked cupboard and keyed it open. "Here." She took a cube off the shelf and brought it over. "Why didn't you come to me if you had a processor ache?"  _ I know he has them sometimes. _

I shrugged.

"I suppose you went to your caretaker's medic then?"

I nodded.

"Sip this." She put the cube in my hands. "Just take it a little at a time."

I nodded and, feeling self-conscious again, poured a little of the cube down the port in my shoulder. It washed down the energon sticking to the inside and my tanks churned nastily.

"What's going on? If you don't want to tell me, that's fine."

"The medic thinks there's something messed up in Soundwave's coding that's doing something wrong with his memory files," Searchlight said.  _ I can tell her this stuff, right? _

I nodded slightly and poured a little more of the medical grade energon down to my tanks. It didn't hurt so much this time.

"Really?"  _ That sounds serious. _

"He's going to need processor surgery, probably," Searchlight said.

_ Oh my. _ "I hope that goes well. Primus…"  _ He must be so scared. I know I would be.  _ "You'll be all right, I'm sure."  _ So long as they get a medic who knows what he's doing. _

They waited for me to finish the medical grade and then Ochre told me on no uncertain terms to go rest, and not to take any more of the painkiller.

When we got back to Searchlight's room, Cablereach was there, talking to Breeze and Ratchet.

"So," he said. "Processor surgery."

I was starting to get tired of having this conversation. I nodded.

"The scans next orn will probably help isolate the real problem, or at least the damage," Cablereach said.  _ This could easily necessitate telling your medic. I spoke with Crescent about it and she doesn't seem to like that possibility. _

No, she did not.

"And according to Breeze," Cablereach said. "Your tanks rejected the drug the medic gave you for the pain."

I nodded.

"Okay," Cablereach said. "You go rest. I'll comm. Crescent again and let her know to tell the medic that doesn't work. Don't take any more of it."

Did he think I was stupid?

Searchlight walked me to my room and then left. My symbionts were happy I'd come back so quickly. I knew I should be resting, but I didn't want to miss any opportunites to spend time with them, so I forced myself to stay online until almost lights-out.

The next orn, my processor ache was back in full. I didn't even get off my berth until it was time for me to go to Crescent's house. I was not looking forward to flying there.

"Are you going to Searchlight's room?" Ravage asked.

"No," I said. "And I might not be back until next orn. You four try not to worry, all right?"

Ravage nodded, but he was already worried.

* * *

Crescent was waiting for me. "All right," she said. "Let's go. We're walking."

I nodded. I should have expected as much.

Fortunately, it wasn't that far. The medic was waiting for us there "Okay," he said. "Thank you for coming in. Soundwave, I've heard you had a bad reaction to the drug I gave you."

I unsubspaced the jar of capsules and gave it back to him.

"Thank you," he said. "I'm sorry it didn't work. Can I scan you?"

I nodded, and he ran a quick, preliminary scan, noting that my processor ache was at least as bad as it had been last time he'd scanned.

"Come and lie down on the berth."  _ We should have gotten this scan out of the way last orn. He's not getting any better, that's for certain. _

I lay down and Crescent sat by the side of the room. She wanted me to know that she was missing a party for this.

"This is a more intense and thorough scan," the medic said. "I'm going to need to put you in stasis for it, all right?"

I nodded, trying not to be afraid. The medic hooked me up to some sort of machine. Turning off my screen didn't help—I still had to watch in his processor as he monitored my systems shutting down. I automatically tried to reboot them, panicking a little.

"Don't fight it," the medic warned, putting a hand on my shoulder.  _ This will take twice as long if he fights it. _

I did fight it. I couldn't help myself. My systems were shutting down, freezing me, killing me.

Nothing.

I came back online slowly. I didn't know how long I had been in medical stasis. My processor hadn't shut down completely—I'd still been semi-conscious, floating in a sea of darkness. Thankfully, though, I couldn't hear the processors around me, and the pain had been gone as well.

But it all returned when I came back online. The medic was still analyzing the data from the scan.

"You can sit up," he said.

I did so, wishing I was back in stasis.

Crescent and I waited while he thought about what to say. She wished she could take me aside and ask me what the scan had revealed. The medic noticed her tension, and then remembered that I was in pain. He came over and modified my sensory grid and I relaxed a little as my processor ache faded to nothing.

"So…" Crescent said.

"I'm mystified," the medic said. "There appears to be nothing wrong with his coding, nothing that would cause this at least. I was right that he's been storing too much in his memory, though obviously I can't see what it is. It's not steady either. Sometimes it's close to normal, like just now when he was in stasis, but other times it looks like he's been shoving more than a hundred times as much in his permanent memory as he should be. I don't know what to think, or why this is the case."  _ There are a few abnormalities in his coding, but nothing that looks broken or like it could cause this. I need to know more if I'm going to diagnose this. I don't know what to do. I need to see those files.  _ "Crescent," the medic said. "I'm not sure what to do about this. I know why he's in pain, but I don't know what the root malfunction is. I know there are medical records that have been restricted. If I could see those I might have a better idea of what we're working with here and what the best thing to do could be."

_ Oh, he would not. He thinks I'll play the desperate femme creator, doesn't he?  _ Crescent shuttered her optics for a moment, then opened them again. "Excuse me?" she said.

"It might be the only way to…"

"Are you trying to use this, to use  _ this  _ to get a look at those files?"

"Crescent…"

"You think because Soundwave is sick you can bully me into giving you access to them, don't you?"

_ I shouldn't have tried. I do dearly want to see them, though. I wonder if Soundwave's seen them. _

"How  _ dare  _ you," Crescent stood up. "How dare you try to take advantage of this. Soundwave could be  _ dying. _ " She was absolutely loving this, reveling in how uncomfortable it was making the medic.

The medic took an astrosecond to compose himself. "He could die," he said. "If there is anything in those files that could help me…"

"There is  _ nothing _ !" Crescent said. "Nothing in those files that is your business and  _ nothing  _ you need to see. I can't believe this! Let's go, Soundwave."

"But…" the medic said.

"Let's go." Crescent beckoned me.

"I warn you," the medic said. "If you don't get help for him…"

"You know what's wrong with him. You've told us two or three times. Trust me, there is nothing in those files that is going to help. You're a brilliant medic—I'm sure you can think of some way to save him without prying into our personal affairs. If you can't, I'll find someone who can."

I stood up with a bit of a sigh.

The medic looked at me.  _ Well, that went really well. _

I followed Crescent out of the office.

_ Primus,  _ Crescent smiled as we walked back onto the street.  _ That was fun. I haven't gotten to do anything like that for quartexes. _

In my opinion it had been a little bit overdone, but she could think whatever she wanted, especially if it meant she was in a decent mood.

_ So, was I right that he just wanted the files, or does he really think that's the only way to save you? I mean… answer the first question.  _ "Soundwave, have you done all your homework?"

I nodded, then shrugged.

_ So sort of.  _ "You sure?"

I nodded.

_ Good. Poor mech _ — _ he really wants to see those. _

I wouldn't mind seeing them myself. I shook my helm. "Hopeless."

Crescent looked at me. "Him or me?"

I ducked a little. She was about to be offended, wasn't she?

To my surprise, she just shook her helm and smiled.  _ If you ever need someone to have hysterics, let me know. I don't mind that. Let's go home and see how long it takes mister 'I need to see those documents' to break and come apologizing over the comm. _

I heaved a sigh, which she did take offense at. Her mood changed to something in between annoyance and what almost felt like guilt, but not quite.  _ I wish you'd go away and leave me alone to think. I'm not going to let you die, all right? I promise you that much. Go back to school. I'll send whatever drug he wants to put you on over there. Pit… _

"You know…" I said.

Crescent glared at me.  _ Look just because I'm in a good mood doesn't mean… _

"I get it," I said. "Sorry. I'm sorry, Crescent."

_ You should be, you little freak.  _ But she wasn't angry at me.  _ Go back to school, I have other things to worry about. _

We parted ways at her house, and I left to head back to school. The processor ache hadn't come back yet, but walking through the city still made me dizzy and tired. By the time I got to school, I was feeling like recharging or at least sitting still and not thinking about anything. I sat in my room for joors, but Crescent must have forgotten to send me the drug.

Before I died, if I was going to die, I wanted to apologize to Crescent that it had been me who'd survived, and not my femme creator. I knew that even though she understood it wasn't my fault, she blamed me for it. I hadn't been the easiest sparkling to take care of, what with all of my quirks. She'd always been concerned someone would come and take me away. She'd been concerned mostly for her own sake, of course, but she still missed my femme creator and wanted to honor her memory. And I did know, even though she'd considered it, that she wouldn't let me die without putting up a fight.

The pain came back slowly, and as my processor ache worsened I started wishing she cared just a little more. She'd promised to send me whatever drug the medic sent to replace the medication that had made me sick. But she hadn't sent anything. I might need to go over to her house the next orn to get it. Maybe I could send Searchlight instead.

No, that would go poorly.

I curled up on my berth with my symbionts to go into recharge. It had been a long orn of walking and flying and bad news.

There really might not be anything they could do. Processor surgery might make things better, but on the other hand they might make the problem worse by accident. At that point, it would be kinder if they just offlined me.

I had a terrible time recharging, between the pain and the fear, but at some time during the off-cycle, with the sleeping symbionts pressed against me and the dead weight of exhaustion dragging on me, I slipped off.

* * *

The next orn, I didn't get off my berth until the afternoon when I could go to Searchlight's room with my symbionts.

Searchlight, Ratchet, and Breeze were there already when I came in, and Searchlight welcomed me and asked me how the scans the previous orn had gone.

I sat down in my chair and let the twins down to the floor. "They don't know what to do," I told him.

_ Oh no… _ Breeze looked down at her hands.

"They'll figure something out," Searchlight said, but even he couldn't hide the way that frightened him. They didn't know what to do. That meant there might be nothing they  _ could  _ do, which meant I could be dying, or at the least losing my ability to process memories, which wasn't really any better than dying.

Frenzy climbed up onto Ratchet's desk.

"Hey," Ratchet said. "Go away."

"Well, that's rude," Frenzy said and pushed over a stack of datapads.

"You!" Ratchet grabbed Frenzy by one arm and held him up above the desk.

"Help!"  _ Soundwave, save me! _

I got up and crossed the room. Ratchet dropped Frenzy onto my outstretched hand and Frenzy clung to my arm and then climbed up to my shoulder.

"He's mean, Soundwave."

"Imagine being his roommate," Searchlight said. Ratchet huffed and straightened the stack of datapads, but didn't offer any sort of counterattack.

"Searchlight," Breeze said reproachfully.  _ That was inconsiderate and he knows it. _

"Sorry, Ratch," Searchlight said. "I didn't mean that."

"Whatever," Ratchet grumbled.

"I really like being your roommate…"

He'd better not.

"It gives me plenty of opportunity to practice ducking."

"Searchlight."

"What?"

"Do you even…. Oh, I give up."

"It's fine," Ratchet said. "I'm used to him."

_ They are all really annoying,  _ Laserbeak commented.  _ Why do you spend time with them, Soundave? _

I shrugged.

_ Who is he shrugging at?  _ Breeze wondered.  _ Someone's not following the rule.  _ "So," she said. "Do you… does the medic know what he's going to do at all, or is there just nothing…"

"Well…" I said. "The medic knows it has something to do with the way I store memory files, but he doesn't know what's causing the problem, so he doesn't know what to fix."

"So…" Searchlight said. "You might need to tell him?"  _ About the mind reading and slag. _

I nodded. "Crescent really doesn't want to."

"Of course she doesn't," Searchlight said. "She probably just wants to let you die… oh, slag."  _ She doesn't actually, does she? She is  _ not  _ going to just let you die. _

"Don't worry, she won't," I said.

"Are you sure about that?"

I nodded.

_ You aren't just saying that? _

"If she re-eally didn't care, she'd have thrown me out vorns ago."

"Okay," Searchlight said. "I mean… I will talk to her if you ever need…"

I shook my helm.

"Yeah," Breeze said. "That's a bad idea and you know it, Searchlight. You'd just make her angry."

"Mecha should not be able to do that," Searchlight said. "No one should be exempt from having morals just because they’re wealthy."

Breeze smiled at him.  _ And that is why I love you. Oh, sorry, Soundwave. You could be dying, and here I am mooning over Searchlight. _

I shrugged. It was better than her being all angsty because she thought Searchlight would never notice her.

I spent the rest of the afternoon with them. It wasn't exactly normal because none of us could get it out of our processors that this might be one of the last afternoons the four of us spent together—or at least that the time we had was dwindling rapidly. When the warning for lights-out rang, I got up. My processor ache made me feel dizzy, but it wasn't the worst it had ever been. I told my symbionts to go ahead and Ravage promised to make sure Rumble and Frenzy got back to my room.

I stood in the doorway and looked around at my friends.

"'Wave?" Searchlight asked.

"If it comes down to it," I said. "Ratchet... would you take Ravage?"

Ratchet hesitated, then nodded.

"Hold on," Searchlight said.  _ You aren't making us do this. _

"Searchlight, can you take the others?"

"No," Searchlight stood up. "I mean, no, you are not dying. They'll figure something out."

I shrugged.

"No," Searchlight came over and put a hand on my shoulder. "Don't even  _ think  _ like that."

"But will you take them? Please, Searchli-ight."

He stared at me for an astrosecond, and then wrapped his arms around me. "Okay," he said. "Of course. Don't worry about them, we'll take care of them."

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You're still not dying." Searchlight let me go.

If I could have smiled, I would have.

Instead I just turned and left to go make sure my symbionts all got back to my room all right. They had, and there was a smallish container sitting just outside the door. I picked it up on my way in and closed the door behind myself. The container had a message on it, which I activated.

The medic's voice was clear in the room and all my symbionts listened as attentively as I was.

"In this container, you'll find several doses of a painkiller for you to try. Don't take more than one per orn—this particular drug can be addicting and somewhat dangerous in high doses. You're going to need to inject it directly into your energon lines. If you aren't comfortable doing that yourself, I'm sure Crescent or your school's medic can help you. I also wanted to let you know that we  _ are  _ working on a solution to your problem and It's highly likely we'll be able to work something out. I know I sounded a little bleak last orn. I apologize if I scared you. I'll contact Crescent to set up our next appointment. Good luck, and let me know if you have any problems with this drug." The message ended and the container opened to reveal a neat row of full syringes. Frenzy ducked lower, suddenly frightened. He didn't like needles.  _ Are you really going to use one of those things? _

If he was in as much pain as I was, he would have understood. I didn't care if I had to cut off my hand to get it to stop. I took out one of the syringes, wishing he wouldn't be so afraid, because it was making me nervous as well. "It's okay, Frenzy. You don't have to watch if you don't want to."

Frenzy turned away. The others watched with fear or nervousness as I felt out exactly where I needed to put it, then slipped the needle between two plates in my arms. I could feel it when it punctured the energon line I had been aiming for and I triggered the release of the medication into the line. Then I sat back in my chair and waited, hoping it took effect before too long so I could recharge more easily.

"Is it over?" Frenzy asked.

"Yes," Ravage said. "I don't know what you're so scared of. It's just a little needle."

Frenzy shuddered.

"Don't tease him," I said, and beckoned Frenzy over. He came and let me pick him up and put him on the desk. Rumble felt left out, so I brought him over as well and put him next to his twin.

"You two have been really good," I said to them. "Thank you."

Frenzy beamed and Rumble crossed his arms. "Well, what else are we supposed to do?"  _ You're sick, we're not going to cause trouble when you're sick. _

"Thank you anyway. All of you."

Ravage climbed up to his spot on my shoulders and Laserbeak maneuvered herself to lie flat on the desk so I could stroke the long, smooth plates of her wings.

Lights-out came. I sat up and waited for the painkiller to take effect. For a while, I couldn't tell, then my processor stopped hurting so much. The pain dropped rapidly to a manageable level.

I sighed and got up, ready to get some recharge and not sure what the next orn would bring. Maybe I should try to go to classes. I'd missed three orns of school already.

I was about to lie down on my berth when a wave of dizziness washed over me, and the noise in my processor got louder It took me a moment to realize that my range was larger than it ought to be.

And expanding.

I stumbled away from the berth.

"Are you okay?" Ravage asked.  _ What's wrong? _

I could hear Searchlight and Ratchet talking all the way down the hall. I could feel my processor overheating I needed…

It was past lights-out. Everyone was settling down to recharge. My symbionts were worried.

I needed... help...

I could see everything and hear everything and feel everything. I was Ravage, staring in horror as I collapsed to the ground. I was the student next door, finishing an essay in the dark. I was the teacher who'd gotten stuck with off-cycle duty, I was a mech driving past the school, hurrying to get home, I was in pain, oh, Primus, the pain…

Something snapped. I shut down.


	43. Neurosis

Everything was quiet—quiet like being in medical stasis or like being completely alone.

I wasn't sure how long I'd floated in unconsciousness. I'd come up for a gasp of pain every once in a while but I didn't know how long it had been since I had really been here. A long time, certainly.

I felt awake now, if somewhat disoriented. Most of my systems were on, but it was still dark, and far too quiet.

That, I was embarrassingly slow to realize, was because my screen and my audios were turned off.

I turned them on to find I was in my room, in Crescent's house. The gentle hum of my engine was the only sound, and the last thing I could clearly, consciously remember was taking that new medicine the medic had sent me.

Oh Primus, my symbionts… I sat up and was suddenly dizzy. My helm felt fragile, like bits of it would start to fall off if I wasn't careful, so I lay back down slowly. Something must have happened. Something… I couldn't remember. My processor-ache was gone, and I couldn't hear anyone in the vicinity, which must mean Crescent wasn't here.

I sat up again, more slowly this time. Something must have happened. I still felt too dizzy to get up off the berth, but I pulled my datapad out of subspace so I could send a message to Searchlight and ask him if Ravage and the others were all right.

I had a message from him.

[Hey, Wave, when you're awake let me know, and we'll storm Crescent's house to come visit you. We miss you—your symbionts won't stop asking when you're coming back. I’m pretty sure they're starting to think we're lying to them. We all thought you were going to die this time. Could you stop scaring us like that? See you soon.]

I lay down and rested for a breem, then held up the datapad to type a reply.

[I'm awake. Don't come storm Crescent's house, though. Please, I'm sure she's mad enough at me already. I'll see you soon.]

I would eventually need to get up and find Crescent, but she wasn't in the house right now so I could wait.

I lay there for two breems before Searchlight messaged me back.

[You sure?]

I took the datapad and thought about it. [Yes. I can't even sit up without getting dizzy. Tell Ravage and the others that I'm okay, though, and I'll see them as soon as I can get to the school.]

I only had to wait a breem for Searchlight's reply. [Okay. We will come see you, though. Maybe next orn, after school. Take care, mech.]

I turned off my screen again and tried to get some recharge. When Crescent came into the room, it was with my audios that I heard her. I couldn't read her processor.

Curious, I sat up and tried to expand my range. After a few moments, I could hear her thoughts. So I could still read minds, but my default range, or at least my range, was smaller.

Interesting. I wasn't going to complain about that.

_ …Soundwave? I guess you can't. Primus, I wonder if he can read minds at all anymore… _

I nodded.

She frowned at me. "I asked you a question."

I hadn't heard it. "My default range is tiny."

"Oh…"  _ That must be what happened. The medic really couldn't figure it out. All right. I had better get this over with.  _ "So," Crescent said. "The files."

Right. The medical files. Had she finally given in and let the medic look at them? What had happened?

"You know I have them and that I'm very good at not thinking about them. In fact, I did all I could to block them off in my processor. But now that medic's seen them, so you're going to find out anyway. What do you know about the incident where your creators died?"

I was shocked she was willing to talk to me about this. "Uh… There was a swarm of scraplets that somehow got into the house during the off-cycle. My creators came out of recharge fast enough to seal off my room and call for help, but by the time anyone came, they were dead and I was badly hurt."

Crescent nodded.  _ The medics couldn't save you. You were going to die.  _ "There was quite a bit of processor damage, and some to your spark chamber as well. Your faceplate was almost entirely gone…" Crescent replayed a memory in her processor of me before that, with my creators.  _ You were a cute little thing once, believe it or not...  _ "There was a medic who was supposed to be able to work miracles, who could save mecha others consigned to the scrapyard. So I sent you to him, knowing that if anyone could bring you back, he could. And he did. His designation was Neurosis. Have you ever heard of him?"

I shook my helm.

"Well, shortly after you were back in my care, before I knew you could read minds, back when I was still looking for someone else to take you in… they found out Neurosis was doing illegal experimentation on his patients. I took you in to see if he'd done anything to you. The other medics did an analysis of your processor—that's what those files are—but they couldn't figure out what any of the anomalies there were for. It was clear you were an experiment, though."  _ They wanted you. I could have let them have you. Under the pretense of sending you to a government-funded orphanage, they would have taken you away and continued to try to figure out what Neurosis had done.  _ She smirked, and a touch of triumph lit her emotional core.  _ But they didn't know who they were dealing with. I had hysterics and insisted that since you were my best friend's sparkling, I'd raise you on my own. I should have let them have you, but Embercrest's offlining was too new a wound, and I wouldn't let the government take the last piece of her I had from me to play games with. Of course, you don't even remember her. After the accident you were different. You used to be so talkative, beforehand, so cheerful. You were the happiest sparkling I had ever seen, and after you were just this faceless, emotionless freak. I hated you, Soundwave, and I still do. But I was stuck with you, because if I got rid of you after that, my friends would talk, and I'd be a disgrace. And I still didn't want the government to have you, for Ember's sake. _

_ Then I figured out you could hear my thoughts and that changed the game. Then I knew if I handed you over to the government, they'd figure out too. They'd use you. It makes my energon boil to think of any sparkling of Embercrest's becoming a mindless, brainwashed tool for the government, even if you're hardly her sparkling any more. So I kept you and I kept you a secret and most of the time I still wish I'd given you up back when I didn't understand what that would mean. And you ought to be slagging grateful to me, you little glitch, and more careful about who you tell. I don't trust your little friends. I worked hard to bury any records of you deep, and now they're surfacing because of this nonsense." _

"Sorry," I said.

"You should be," Crescent told me. "If it ever gets out, we are both going to be neck deep in scrap."

I nodded.

"Good. You're supposed to rest for a decaorn. Then you can go back to school. Tell your friends I'm not letting them in this house, and I mean it, and if they show up, they can bang on the door until I comm. the enforcers." Crescent stood and stepped out of my range. "You know where the energon is and if you absolutely need something, you'll be able to find me. Don't bother me unless you have to." She walked out the door and left me with my thoughts.

I lay back on by berth and stared up at the ceiling. 

I was a lab experiment.

Well, that explained some things, but brought up a whole host of other questions.

I was a lab experiment. A rogue medic had gotten his hands on me and made me into something else. Crescent had said I was different afterward. I held her memory of me as a sparkling in my mind. I had been normal. And then I had been… different.  _ Was  _ I even that sparkling? How much had been changed?

I had always known that I was unusual, but now I knew it wasn't just some fluke or something arbitrarily wrong with my processor. Someone had done this to me. How did you give someone the ability to read minds anyway? What else had that medic done? What else was different about me? What else might I be able to do? 

I had never felt so lucky that Crescent had taken me in. I understood better now why she was so afraid of me. I was an abomination, the product of an insane medic's experiments, a freak—not of nature, but of science. The government had wanted me. Maybe they still did. Maybe they were still watching me.

And they had good reason. For all they knew, I could be dangerous. I had systems and coding that even I didn't know about. I lay still for a long time, thinking, before my need for energon forced me to get up and drag myself across the house to the kitchen.

* * *

The orns passed quickly at first as I rested and spent most of the time recharging. The medic came a few times to make sure I was on the road to a full recovery. My range was so small I'd have to be standing right next to someone to hear their thoughts. But I felt deaf when I couldn't listen in on what the mecha around me were thinking so I took to expanding it when there was someone else in the room with me.

By the eighth orn, I felt ready to go back to school. It seemed like ages since I'd seen my symbionts, and messaging back and forth with my friends was not the same as being there. They'd tried to come and see me a few times, but Crescent was true to her word and didn't let them in.

I was going to be so far behind in classes. It would take a lot of hard work to catch up, but I was actually looking forward to it now that I could think clearly again. I wanted to get back to school.

Finally the sun dawned on the tenth orn, and I left in the morning without talking to Crescent. She'd know where I'd gone and be glad I was out of her way. She'd probably be immensely relieved when I was finished with secondary school and had moved out entirely.

I made the walk back to school—I wasn't quite ready to try flying yet. I was a little more tired than I thought I would be, but I'd let my range shrink and so walking through the city wasn't much different from walking down a long, empty road, or sitting in an empty car on the mass transit to Iacon.

Iacon. I could go and study there now, I realized. By that time my range still wouldn't be bad enough to keep me from it.

And if it got to be, I could always have the medic shrink it. Even though he didn't know what exactly he'd done—they had just experimented adjusting settings in my processor until they'd found something that stopped the problem—he would be able to do it again.

I could also have another medic do it. I had picked up the specifics of it the last time he'd visited. For the first time, I could imagine a future for myself.

I went back to thinking about those files. I'd have to tell the others. If past experience held true, Searchlight wouldn't care, and Breeze and Ratchet would just be curious and maybe a little concerned. Cablereach was the most likely to be as horrified as I had been. He would understand all the implications, and he would be afraid.

Part of me didn't want to tell him, but I knew I owed it to him. Not only had he kept my secret, he had helped me keep it and had been more than influential in convincing Crescent that she didn't need to find ways to silence my friends.

I got to school just in time to go to my first class.

After two classes, though, I was exhausted. Maybe I hadn't been quite as ready as I had thought. I decided to use it as an excuse to go to my room and see to my symbionts.

I stood outside the door for a breem and expanded my range. They were conversing quietly. Laserbeak was moping because it had been more than a decaorn since anyone had been able to communicate with her. Frenzy had figured out how to highlight text on a datapad and he'd enlisted Rumble, who knew how to read, to help him go through my computer science textbook and highlight anything that could be taken out of context to mean something inappropriate. I was going to have to go through and get rid of all of that.

I opened the door. They all looked up, expecting Searchlight, Breeze, or Ratchet.

"Soundwave!" They stared at me, emotions an interesting mixture of disbelief, shock, and excitement.

I came in and closed the door behind me before kneeling down. "I missed you," I said quietly.

Ravage leaped at me, crashing head first into me, and nearly knocking me over.

_ Don't ever do that again, don't you ever do that again. I thought you weren't coming back, even though Searchlight said you were okay. _

Laserbeak lighted on my helm and Rumble and Frenzy left off their highlighting to jump on me as well. We all sat, none of us talking, for a long time. They knew I could hear them. They didn't need to say anything, and I was so happy to see them that I didn't have words to express it. So we sat, piled together, for more than a joor. I had missed them so much.

"Are you going to classes?" Frenzy asked when I finally got up.  _ Please don't, please stay here. _

"No," I said. I would wait until classes were over and then go to Searchlight's room. I'd take the four of them with me when I did. For now, I needed to message all my teachers and ask them to send me the homework and classwork I'd missed out on.

I kept myself busy until after classes and then got up.

"Are you going to class?" Frenzy asked again.

"No," I said. "I'm taking you to Searchlight's room."

We actually got there first. I let myself in and then sat and waited.

My symbionts took up their typical posts around the room. We only had to wait a breem before the others showed up.

Searchlight was first. He froze in the doorway, staring at me, and Ratchet nearly crashed into him.

"Searchlight!" Ratchet snapped. "What the… Soundwave…"

I stood.

Searchlight crossed the room in three steps and nearly crushed me in a hug. Ratchet followed, actually smiling for once.

"Welcome back," Searchlight said, letting go of me. "You fragging scared us. Again. Would you stop that?"

"Well, I'm okay," I said.

"I know." Searchlight smiled. "It's good to have you back."

I sat down at the desk, but then Breeze came in and rushed over to hug me too, even more emotional than Searchlight had been. When I'd assured her I was all right, she backed off, beaming.

Ratchet and I looked at each other.

"I'm not going to hug you," Ratchet said with a scowl. I shook my helm, nearly laughing, and sat down.

Ratchet went over to his chair. "All right," he said. "Get off."

Ravage looked up at him calmly.  _ Make me. _

Ratchet dumped him out of the chair, and Ravage slunk away to plot his revenge.

"So," Searchlight said, "What's the latest?"

I had sent him most of the information about my current condition, but I had warned him that I was keeping something back until we could talk about it in person.

"I found out why… well, I sort of found out why I can read minds…" I explained what Crescent had told me, at least what she'd said about the medic who'd been experimenting on me. I had been right about their reaction. Searchlight was very firm in insisting it didn't matter. Breeze was interested and worried, and Ratchet was worried and slightly disturbed. If I had had this information a vorn ago, I would have worried that they wouldn't want to be friends with me if I told them, but I no longer had doubts about that. The four of us were going to be friends for the rest of our lives. 

If I really thought about it, I was so lucky Searchlight had come across the bullies teasing me in the hallway back in third term. I was almost thankful to Verdict.

We spent the rest of the orn catching up. Ravage startled Ratchet, then tipped him out of his chair. Ratchet shouted and cursed and threw his wrench. I felt better than I had in vorns, but I was thoroughly exhausted by the time the light's out warning sounded, and ready to go back to my room.

* * *

It was hard to catch up on my schoolwork. The first several orns of class, I was completely lost. On top of that, dragging myself off the berth in the beginning of the on-cycle was a struggle for the first decaorn. And it was two decaorns before I got up the courage to explain to Cablereach that I was a lab experiment. As I'd predicted, he was horrified, but he got used to the idea after a while.

So I was very busy, and I still had problems, but in a lot of ways, I felt like the hard things were past. I didn't have my own imminent inability to function hanging over my helm, which allowed me to focus on other things like getting good grades so I could go to the Iacon Academy. I'd never actually believed I could do that, but now that my base range was manageable, things were different. I felt like I actually had a future. Friends, a future, and one more term of secondary school to finish.


	44. Disc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the updates have slowed down a little. I fully intended to post a new chapter each day, which should be possible since I've already written the whole thing and I'm just revising, but I've fallen behind during the last couple of weeks. In my defense, I have no free time or mental energy because I'm a first year high school teacher. That is all. Thank you for your patience.

As the end of the term drew nearer, everyone started working on their final projects. There would be a competition a few decaorns before finals and a handful of finalists would get to go to Iacon for an orn. They, along with final term students from other schools, would present their projects to their respective departments. After that was over they were all invited to tour Iacon and even, traditionally, had an opportunity to sit in on a Council session in the High Council Hall.

Personally, I didn't care about the competition, and the idea of presenting at the Academy in the perpetually overcrowded Iacon Central sector didn't really appeal to me. But I'd made the mistake of agreeing to work together with Ratchet, who would never settle for doing a mediocre job on a school assignment.

Searchlight had gotten together with a group of government emphases and they had developed a new system of government. It had started as a joke between them in their law class, which was apparently the most boring class on campus. Even—Searchlight declared—more boring than geology. But then they'd gotten serious about it and started developing it. Their mentor had told them they should get together and make it into their project and they had done that.

Breeze had figured she'd do a project on speech impediments because she had some experience working with them, and had done some research on it before.

Ratchet and I had designed and built a prototype for a medical instrument that was safe to use on a damaged spark chamber. Most equipment was disruptive of spark energy and often caused as much damage to the spark itself as it fixed to the physical systems. We had needed to combine our knowledge of technology and medicine to make it. Of course, we couldn't say for certain that it was useful because testing it was a bad idea.

The other group Cablereach was mentoring was a different story.

"Okay, session seventeen, test one!" Wheeljack said. "Go for it, Shocky."

Shockwave flipped a lever and the large circular frame they'd set up in the yard of the school lit up. About twenty students were sitting on the ground or standing, watching. It was after school let out, so the crowd was mostly students who boarded at the school.

Streams of shifting, colorful plasma twisted and connected in the frame, forming a thin sheet. Another congruent plane appeared at the other end of the yard where a second group of students was waiting. They cheered.

"Okay," Wheeljack said. "Ready?"

"Send it through," Shockwave said.

The little remote control plane lifted off from the ground as Wheeljack piloted it. It hovered for a moment, then flew toward the portal. Everyone watched as it approached. In the moments before it touched the sheet of blue-green plasma, the whole yard was quiet.

Then it flew through.

And came out the portal on the other end of the yard. The students there cheered, then screamed as the plane veered toward them and then crashed to the ground.

"Oops," Wheeljack said.

Shockwave looked at him.

"I wasn't trying to do that. I lost control of the plane. I don't think that's supposed to happen. It shouldn't have lost signal long enough to stop working. I mean, at least it should have been able to pick up again as soon as it came out the other side of the bridge."  _ We're going to have to do more tests before we send anything alive through. I wonder what went wrong.  _ "I'll go get the plane." He jogged across the yard.

"Maybe you mechs should have done a double-blind analysis on it first," Searchlight said quietly to Shockwave, who let out a stifled snort and shook his helm as he studied the controls, making sure everything was working properly.

"You know we only have five decaorns before presenting," Breeze said. "Shouldn't you have been testing this earlier?"

"I suppose," Shockwave said, "But this project was more about the building than the functionality. Even if we  _ can  _ get it fully operational, it won't be much use. We had to get a special permit to test it, and we have to dismantle it after the presentations are over."

"Oh," Breeze said.  _ That's kind of depressing… _

Wheeljack came running back, grinning. "Guess what happened!" he said. "You'll never guess."

Shockwave shrugged. "Uh…"

"I didn't lose control of it," Wheeljack's grin widened.

"So then what happened?" Shockwave asked. "You said you didn't crash it on purpose."

Wheeljack flipped the plane over. "It came out upside down!"

"Oh," Shockwave said.  _ Now I wonder why exactly that happened. _

"Let me see it," Ratchet took the crumpled plane from Wheeljack's hands. "How do you know it didn't just roll?"

"Well, they said it came out upside down. And it went exactly the opposite of the way I was steering it."  _ I'm going to have to fix it now. I guess that can be an excuse to add a booster so it can go faster. I wonder if I could get it fast enough to reach escape velocity. It's kind of small for that. _

If he made that thing go at escape velocity speeds, it would break itself apart.

"Uh…" Wheeljack said. "Can I have that back?"

Ratchet handed him the broken toy plane.

Shockwave shut down their groundbridge. "So it came out upside down?"

"Yeah," Wheeljack said. "Hey, that would be really crazy, to walk through and come out upside down on the other end. I kind of want to try it."

_ Oh, Primus, please no.  _ "Let's not. Please, Jackie, I don't want you to die."

"It would be really interesting though. Probably kind of disorienting."  _ I wonder if we can get something alive. Maybe a turbo-rat or something, or if Soundwave would let me borrow one of his symbionts. _

No. No, I would not.

"No," Shockwave said again. "Really, we haven't tested it on anything with a spark yet. We can't start that until we know the rest of it is working."

"Sure," Wheeljack said. "But we aren't going to be able to fly anything through until I fix this." He held up the crashed plane.

"Turn it back on," Searchlight pulled out his datapad. "We can toss this through."

"Are you sure?" Wheeljack said. "You… might not get it back."

"It'll be fine."

Ratchet snatched the datapad from him. "This is a library book."

"Oh," Searchlight said. "Yeah."

"Here," Breeze unsubspaced a wide, flat disc. "This should do." She opened it and dumped out a bunch of datapad styluses of different sizes and with different tips. "I can store these separately if you lose it."

Searchlight took it and stood in front of the now-empty framework of the bridge.

Shockwave turned it back on and everyone watched again as the portal opened up on the other side of the yard.

"I'll go catch it on the other side," Wheeljack said. "Throw it with the darker side up." He sprinted across the yard to the glowing portal on the other side.

"Ready?" Searchlight called.

"Ready!"

Searchlight spun the disk as he tossed it and it went sailing through the portal about mid-level. Wheeljack caught it on the other end. He held it up.

"It's upside down!"

"We should test it a few more times," Shockwave said, but not loud enough for the other end to hear.

"Send it back!" Searchlight shouted.

Wheeljack sent it back through the portal.

"Now," Shockwave said, "I want to know if the whole portal is upside down, or if the object is getting flipped over, because that makes a big difference.

Searchlight nodded. He tossed the disc through so it entered the very bottom of the portal. It was hard to see because of the distance, but it looked like it came out the top of the other end. Wheeljack missed it and it went sailing over his helm. Someone in the crowd caught it and threw it back through. It went in near the top and came out on the bottom on Searchlight's end. Searchlight dove forward to catch it and almost went through the groundbridge.

_ No!  _ Shockwave gasped.

"Searchlight!" Breeze took half a step forward as Searchlight got up and backed away from the bridge.

"What?" he said.

"You…"

"You almost got yourself killed!" Ratchet said.

"Sorry. I am so sorry," Shockwave powered down the groundbridge.

"It's not your fault," Ratchet told him. "This idiot has a death wish."

"Sorry," Searchlight grinned. "I wasn't going to go through—I'm not  _ that  _ stupid. I was fine. And besides, there's no guarantee that going through would kill me or anything."

"Everything okay?" Wheeljack shouted from the other end of the yard.

"We're fine!" Searchlight replied.

Wheeljack jogged over to us. "Right," he said. "So I think the whole portal's upside down now. What could be causing that?"

Shockwave shrugged and opened up the control panel. "If we can't figure it out in a few breems, we might need to ask Cablereach. Soundwave, do you have any ideas? I mean, I know it's not your project, but…"  _ He's good at this sort of thing, though. _

Only because I picked up on their thoughts.

The crowd dissipated as Wheeljack, Shockwave and I crouched around the control panel. I'd never seen the inside of it—they'd talked a lot about this project over the last term, but they'd kept it pretty secret and hadn't shown anyone until they'd started testing.

"I think you should keep it upside down," Searchlight said. "It would be a lot more fun that way."  _ You could make a game with that disc. Why isn't there a game like that? There should be. _

"Well, if we can figure out why it's upside down," Wheeljack said, "We might be able to make it switch back and forth if we want."

From my limited knowledge about groundbridge machinery—most of it picked by listening to these two work on this project—everything looked right. "I don't know," I said. "You should ask Cablereach about it."

Shockwave nodded.  _ I was afraid we were going to have to do that. But that's inevitable, I guess. We'd better put it away for now. No point in further tests until we've got the problem cleared up. _

Searchlight, Ratchet, Breeze, and I walked slowly back to Searchlight's room while Breeze put her styluses back in the flat container.

"Hey, Breeze," Searchlight said. "Can I borrow that sometime?"

"Borrow what?"

"The disc thing. I have an idea."  _ We could totally make up a game with that. It flies so nicely. _

"I guess," Breeze said.

"Let's go to the park next orn," Searchlight said, "Okay?"

"Sure," Breeze said. "Why?"

"To test something."

Breeze looked at me.  _ To test what? _

"Don't tell her," Searchlight said. "Not yet."

"It's not  _ that  _ exciting," I said.

Searchlight shook his helm. "To you, maybe. I think it could be awesome. But we'll see next orn."

"If you came up with the idea," Ratchet said, "You can count me out."

"No," Searchlight said. "I promise it's not stupid or dangerous."

"Or embarrassing?"

"That either."

"Or utterly pointless?"

"Ratchet, you have no faith in me. We're going to need you along, though. We might need a medic."

"You said it wasn't—!"

"Just kidding. I'm just kidding, Ratchet, calm down."

Ratchet sat down at his desk, grumbling about something.

_ I swear, I've been his roommate for a vorn and a half and he still takes everything I say seriously. _

Well, that was Ratchet for you.

* * *

The next orn, after classes, we all went to the park. My range had been expanding, maybe faster than before, but it wasn't a problem yet so walking through Kalis wasn't going to give me a processor ache. It would be another vorn, most likely, before I had much trouble with my mind-reading.

Searchlight led us to a part of the park that was a flat, metal field with a few hills bordering one side.

"Okay," he said, "Breeze, can I have your disc thing?"

Breeze unsubspaced the container.

"You know what, just the lid would be fine," Searchlight said.

"Sure." She popped off the lid and handed it to him, then subspaced the rest.

Searchlight took several steps back. "Think fast, 'Wave." He flicked the disc in my direction. It sailed through the atmosphere, spinning. I was already ready of course, and stepped once to the side to catch it. Then I sent it spinning back in Searchlight's direction.

"Spectacular," Ratchet said. "You can throw it at each other. So what?"

"So what?" Searchlight said. "Are you kidding? You could make up an entire sport from this. Come on, let's think up some game rules and try it."

_ Well,  _ Breeze thought.  _ If he really wants to. _

We spent the rest of the orn tossing the disc around and trying to come up with good rules for a game. The next orn, Searchlight and Breeze invited friends from their other classes, and we had about ten mecha come to the park with us. Searchlight split us up into teams and we played around with the disc for a joor or so. After that, almost everyone went home, but there were still enough hanging around for Searchlight to keep experimenting with new rules.

I dropped out and went to sit by Shockwave, who had come because Wheeljack had dragged him. Wheeljack was one of the mechs still playing.

"Hi, Soundwave," Shockwave said. "You know, I've never been to this park before. It's pretty nice here."

I nodded.

Shockwave looked down at the datapad he was holding.

"Have you figured out why the bridge was upside down?" I asked.

"Not yet," Shockwave said. "Cablereach was stumped too. We went all through the panel and couldn't find anything wrong with it."

"Maybe you have some coordinates reversed somewhere. You need coordinates on six different dimensions, right?"

"Twelve, if you want to send mecha through," Shockwave said. "And yes. Maybe some of the vectors are backwards. I'll double-check that. Thanks, Soundwave."

I shrugged.

We watched Searchlight and the others play until the sun was starting to go down, and then we all headed back to the school—or home.

Searchlight perfected his game over the next decaorn. He convinced Breeze to design a nicer disc for the purpose and talked one of the other students into making it. Wheeljack volunteered for that, but Searchlight politely turned him down. He just needed a flat piece of metal. That was part of the charm of the game—that the equipment wasn't robotic, didn't fly itself, and most of all didn't malfunction and explode.

By the end of the quartex, the whole school was playing it, and we'd seen other mecha at the park playing too. It was kind of bizarre, actually. Just a few decaorns before, the game hadn't even existed, and now it was everywhere. Searchlight called it disc, which wasn't a particularly imaginative name, but it worked.

* * *

"It's just a fad," Ratchet said.

We were at the park. Ratchet and I sat off to the side, doing homework while my symbionts played for me. Ravage was actually quite proficient at catching the disc in his mouth and throwing it too. Rumble and Frenzy tripped over each other a lot, but they had plenty of fun. And Laserbeak enjoyed ruining the game for everyone else by knocking the disc to the ground at each possible opportunity.

"You're just jealous," Searchlight called as he passed the disk to Breeze. "Because something I came up with ended up being popular."

"No such thing," Ratchet said. "Anything that comes this fast goes away even faster. In another decaorn or two, we'll all have forgotten it."

"Pessimist," Searchlight caught the disc again and got knocked over by Ravage. He spun the disc in Rumble and Frenzy's direction. They both lunged for it, caught it, then started fighting over it, each insisting that it had been meant for him.

Three flying alt modes went by overhelm. I didn't glance up, but Ratchet did, and was a little surprised to note that they were seekers. Seekers weren't entirely uncommon to see in the sky, especially so close to Iacon, but they didn't often fly this low. In fact... were they...?

They came down nearby and transformed just a little ways away. One of them was familiar.

"Hey!" Searchlight waved, noticing them. "Thundercracker!"

Thundercracker walked over. "What are you doing?" he asked. "I went to the school but you weren't there, so I thought I'd come here to look…"

Searchlight pulled the seeker into a quick hug, which startled him, and startled the other two seekers even more. I stood up.

"Thunder, mech," Searchlight said. "It's been most of a vorn since we've seen you. How are you?"

"Good," Thundercracker waved the other two forward. "Mechs, these are my friends, Starscream and Skywarp…. And this is Searchlight, Soundwave, Breeze, and Ratchet."

The light gray one, Starscream, scowled. "Yes, here they are. Poor Thundercracker, forced to befriend lowly groundpounders. We've met them now, let's get out of here."

"Wait an astrosecond," Thundercracker said. "It's been ages, I want to talk to them for a few breems."

Starscream crossed his arms. "We need to cure you of this little obsession, Thundercracker, it's not healthy."

_ Oh, Primus, he's in one of these moods again…  _ "Just give me a breem to talk to them, would you?"

Starscream rolled his optics. "I suppose," he said.

"Come here, 'Warp," Thundercracker said, waving the purple seeker forward. Skywarp made a face.  _ Ew, gross, he doesn't want me to try to  _ talk  _ to them, does he? _

"What are you playing?" Thundercracker asked.

"It's a game Searchlight made up," Breeze said. "It's getting pretty popular."

Thundercracker nodded. "Sounds terrible. Wow, it really has been a long time, hasn't it?"  _ I'm a little surprised Searchlight hasn't managed to get any of them killed. _

He had come close once or twice.

"Yep," Searchlight said.  _ I don't think I really like those other seekers. But maybe they're just like Thundercracker, and they're not so bad once you get past the unfriendliness.  _ "Hey, you mechs want to play?"

"No," Starscream looked down his olfactory sensor at us.

"Sure," Thundercracker said. "We can play."

_ Is he really… did he really just… fine.  _ "Fine then," Starscream said. "You can stay here. I'm leaving. See you in Iacon if you decide to show up." He transformed and flew away.

_ Slag it,  _ Thundercracker thought.  _ I knew this would happen. _

Skywarp shrugged.  _ Oh, well, guess we're going.  _ "See ya, Thundercracker."

"Wait," Thundercracker said. "Warp, come on."

Skywarp hesitated. "Sorry, Thundercracker," he said with a guilty smile. "But you're crazy coming down here to talk to  _ them. _ " He disappeared. Just blinked out of existence.

Searchlight, Breeze, and Ratchet stared at the place the seeker had just been standing.

Thundercracker let out a long-suffering sigh.

"What the... What just happened?" Searchlight said.

"He teleported," I explained.

"I'm sorry about them," Thundercracker said. "They're usually not that… rude?"  _ Actually, that's a lie. _

"Teleported? Can mecha even... you think someone could learn to do that?"  _ That would be so cool... _

"No," Thundercracker said. "It's one of those mods that get passed down through wealthy lines."

"Oh." Searchlight was disappointed.

"They sure left in a hurry," Breeze said, crossing her arms.

"They've never been out of Vos before," Thundercracker said, feeling a little defensive. "They just have it stuck in their helms that everyone down here is stupid."

"Maybe you should find some new friends then," Ratchet said. "They're downright unpleasant."

Thundercracker frowned and all of us could see the seeker in him suddenly. "Ratchet, you're unpleasant, if memory serves. Maybe these mecha should replace you. Besides, we're a trine."

Ratchet rolled his optics. "Sorry."

"That's all right," Thundercracker said coolly, then turned to face me. "How are you, Soundwave?"

"I'm doing well."

Thundercracker smiled.  _ Hey, look at that, no stutter. _

"So how about you?" Searchlight said. "Trine brothers, huh? That's cool."

"I'm good," Thundercracker said. "And yes. It's good to have someone watching your back, especially since all three of us are outcasts in a way."

"You get along with them well enough to want to be siblings?" Breeze asked.  _ I find that hard to believe. But maybe that was just that Starscream one, and maybe he was just in a bad mood. He could be nice. We haven't seen enough of him to make judgments like that. _

I didn't think so. Skywarp had at least felt bad for leaving Thundercracker here.

"Yeah," Thundercracker said. "Most of the time. Starscream's kind of moody, and 'Warp likes to pull pranks on anything with two wings, so I've got my hands full trying to keep them from each others' throats, but most of the time we get along really well. I… lost a lot of my old friends after I got back from spending a term here, so I'm lucky to have them."  _ We made our own merry band of misfits. Screamer, and 'Warp, and Tealwing, and Andromeda and I… _

"Who's trine leader?" Ratchet asked.  _ I bet it's that obnoxious one. _

"Starscream," Thundercracker said. "You're all graduating this term, right?"

"Yep," Searchlight said. "You?"

"Yes," Thundercracker said. "Then we're going to the flight academy in Vos. I'm not really sure what we're going to do after that."  _ I'm sure Starscream would be happy to go into politics and try to take over the whole city, but that… I'm going to have to talk him out of that somehow. _

A group of students from the school were headed in our direction. They weren't in my range yet, but I could see them coming.

"Hi, Searchlight," one of them said. "We need a few more players for disc. You look a little short on mechs too. Want to join?"  _ Oh, wow, a seeker. How does Searchlight know a seeker? _

"Uh…" Searchlight said. "I would…"

"I want to learn to play," Thundercracker said. "I'd be fine watching for a while."

I got up to join the game and even Ratchet was coerced into playing.

Then the other two seekers came back.

"All right," Starscream said. "We'll play this stupid little game your pet groundpounder came up with and then we'll go."

"Great," Thundercracker said. "Thanks, Starscream, I owe you."

"Don't forget it," Starscream said. Then glared at Searchlight. "How does one play this game? What are the rules?"

There were twelve of us, not including my symbionts. The seekers wanted to be on their own team, though, and it was a good thing we let them, because twelve of us against three seekers were about evenly matched. The seekers flew low to the ground, transforming to catch and throw. Anyone who had a flying alt mode—Searchlight, myself, and one of the other students, flew around, trying to knock the disc down to the students below. When our side had it, we were just desperately trying to keep it away from the seekers, while still following the rules of the game—above all else, do not let the disc touch the ground.

Laserbeak, incidentally, was the best at stealing the disc from the seekers. Whenever the disc did get taken from them, Skywarp went down on the ground and rapidly teleported from place to place, trying to get it back. The way you scored a point, according to our previous rules, was to make ten passes without the disc getting taken by the other side. If your team was the last to touch the disc when it hit the ground, you lost a point.

Sometimes at the end of the game, the scores were something like negative five to negative one. But the fact that it was so challenging to score didn't seem to bother anyone. It just meant scoring was more of a triumph.

The seekers had meant to stay for a quick game, but it was nearly sundown before it was over. Skywarp made a particularly low dive to catch the disc and everyone had to jump out of the way to avoid getting run over when he plowed into the ground. There was a brief moment where everyone stared, shocked, at the downed seeker.

"I win!" Skywarp shouted, holding up the disk. Thundercracker and Starscream landed and all the ground team rushed over, laughing, to help Skywarp up. He accepted an offered hand and got to his pedes, brushing himself off

"I knew this was a bad idea," Starscream said. "You should have listened to me in the first place."

"I'm fine, Screamer," Skywarp said. "See? That was a lot of fun."

Thundercracker nodded. "Thanks for the game."

"Thanks for joining," Searchlight said. He was scuffed and dented and exhausted and the rest of us weren't much better, but even Ratchet would have to admit that was fun. "That was twice as exciting with seekers."

"Of course it was," Starscream sneered.  _ Don't they realize how superior we are to them? Come to think of it though we're going to have to take that game home with us. We can say I invented it. _

_ Thundercracker was right,  _ Skywarp thought.  _ That was fun. The groundpounders aren't so bad after all. I like them. They come up with good games. I bet that'd be ten times as fun in Vos with a bunch of other seekers. _

Well," Thundercracker said. "I think we have to go. It was great seeing you, Searchlight."  _ May we meet again some orn.  _ "Soundwave, you too. And Ratchet and Breeze."

"Come on, let's go." Starscream transformed and flew off and Skywarp followed him.

"I'll talk them into letting me drop by next time we're in the area," Thundercracker promised, then followed them away, into the sky.

My symbionts were exhausted so I carried them all back to school, despite being tired myself. We all trudged to Ochre's office. She was one of the few who disapproved of disc, and she wasn't very sympathetic. She roped a tired and grumpy Ratchet into helping her pop out dents and re-align joints, and she was none too happy herself, but the excitement from the game hadn't worn off yet, so everyone else was cheerful.

I lay on my berth that off-cycle for a while, wondering how far disc was going to go. It had spread through the school and our little part of Kalis, but now it was going to Vos. Where else would it spread? Yes, it was strange to see something Searchlight had come up with go all over the place. But at the same time, I shouldn't have been surprised. He was Searchlight, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. In my headcanon, there are three basic kinds of siblings. First, there are mecha with the same creators. Because of the way their society works though, there's usually a big age gap and they don't know each other very well. Secondly, there are split-spark twins. The third kind of sibling is a little different. Adult mecha can choose to be siblings and make a sibling bond with each other. It's not quite the same thing as a spark bond—more like adoption, except instead of adopting a child, you're adopting each other as siblings. You can have as many siblings in a group as you like, but most groups don't have more than five or six, and some specific kinds of sibling bond—such as trine bonds—have to have a certain number.
> 
> 2\. I could go into detail about how all the different kinds of bonds work, but that gets really complicated.


	45. Celebration

Our projects were due, just four and a half decaorns before the end of the term. As much as I dreaded getting up in front of the whole school, I did want to be one of the finalists. The different emphases presented their projects one by one. Searchlight's group went during the beginning of the enormous assembly. They did a great job, and I would have been surprised if they hadn't made it. Breeze did very well too. Ratchet and I got up near the end. I thought we did all right, but we were nothing to the act that came next. Wheeljack and Shockwave wheeled their groundbridge on stage and talked about making it for a while, then turned it on and sent the other end of the bridge to the back of the room. They talked about the history of the groundbridge and their various stages of testing. Wheeljack flew a toy jet back and forth through the bridge a couple of times while they explained the safety hazards. And then finally, without warning, Wheeljack stepped right into the glowing portal and disappeared. A collective gasp and a turning of helms to look at the other end of the bridge precluded applause when Wheeljack stepped out, bowed, and announced that finally, their groundbridge was fully safe and functional.

After that, the teachers conferred together at the front of the room and the rest of the auditorium broke into loud chatter.

"Hey, 'Wave," Searchlight said.  _ Go and see who made it. _

"No," I said.

"I'll pay you fifty creds."

"To do what?" Breeze asked.

I shook my helm. "You don't have fifty credits."

_ He wants Soundwave to go up and listen to the judges, doesn't he? Oh Searchlight.  _ "Don't you have any patience, Searchlight?"

"No, not really."

Breeze shook her helm and slipped her hand into his, and he smiled at her, and I sincerely wished I knew how to make my range shrink.

"Know what?" I said suddenly. "I'll go listen to the judges."

"Score!" Searchlight said. "Thanks, mech."  _ Did Breeze do that on purpose? _

I shook my helm and realized I'd have to climb over a whole lot of other students to get out to the aisle. So instead, I sat down again. "Never mind."

"Aw," Searchlight said.

"I don't want to climb over mecha."

"I can make it worth it," Searchlight said, and leaned toward Breeze with a sappy smile on his faceplate.

Breeze pushed him away. "Don't do that. I will not be a weapon you use against your friends."

"Hey," Searchlight said. "Breeze…"

"No, I mean it. Besides, we're in a crowded room. Just because you don't have any dignity, doesn't mean I don't care what other mecha see."

"Fine, fine, whatever," Searchlight said. "Hey, we should get a party together to celebrate before finals start. We can have one at the one-quartex-left-to-go mark. And then an even bigger one for the end of the term,  _ after  _ finals."

"That sounds like a terrible idea," Ratchet said.

"Don't be ridiculous," Searchlight said. "It will be awesome."

"I am not going to  _ any  _ party  _ you _ plan."

"Aw," Searchlight said. "Come on, Ratchet, we might need you to glue someone back together."

"Especially not if you…  _ glue?  _ Excuse  _ me? _ I do not  _ glue  _ mecha back together."

"Whatever you say, doc bot," Searchlight grinned. "You know you don't have to come if you don't want to."

"I think it's a good idea," Breeze said.

"Can you organize decorations?" Searchlight asked. "Soundwave, I know you like music. Can I put you in charge of that?"

"We only have five orns to get this ready," Ratchet said.

"We can work that," Searchlight replied. "I'll go up and ask the headmaster if we can use the energon hall as soon as the assembly is over."

"Maybe we should use Cablereach as a go-between," Breeze said.

"Good thinking. If old Graycharter thinks Cablereach is in charge of this then he'll be a lot more likely to approve it. We're going to need energon, games, music, maybe some entertainment. I bet we can convince Wheeljack to do something exciting on stage."

"Like blow himself up?" Ratchet deadpanned.

"Yeah," Searchlight grinned. "That would be cool."  _ Three… two… one… _

"Are you  _ out of your slagging processor?! _ "

The immediate area was suddenly quiet and helms turned in our direction. The quiet swept through the whole auditorium and even some of the teachers looked our way, probably trying to figure out what everyone else was looking at. Ratchet sank low in his chair, cursing violently in the security of his own helm as his core temperature spiked.

The chatter slowly returned to the auditorium.

"Ratchet…"

"Don't talk to me," Ratchet said. "Don't ever speak to me again. Ever."

"Sorry," Searchlight said. "In any case, I think we can put something together. And we'd only invite the eighth term students, of course, so it wouldn't be ridiculously big or anything. We can invite the whole school to the next one."

"Why two?” Ratchet asked under his breath. "Why do you have to go and plan  _ two  _ slagging parties? Most mecha plan them one at a time."

"Well, my friend," Searchlight said. "I'm currently not talking to you, as per your request, but if I was, I would remind you that I am not most mecha."  _ I don't have time to plan a really good one-quartex party, so I have to save the awesome planning for later, but I want one now too. We're not just going to finish the term out. We are going to  _ finish  _ it. It's going to be slagging awesome. What's the use of going through secondary school if you can't throw a memorable party at the end? _

I was a little surprised and amused at that thought. That might be one thing, maybe the only thing, that Searchlight and Crescent might agree on.

"In any case, it ought to be fun. It'll give us something to do besides playing disc for the next decaorn."

"And studying," Ratchet said.

"For what? Finals aren't for four decaorns, mech."

"These aren't just finals, they're  _ finals.  _ If we don't do well on them, we can't get into the Academy."

"Speak for yourself, mech," Searchlight said. "I don't need to go to the Academy. I'm going to run for the Kalis Council."

"Kalis?" Breeze asked.

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "I've got to start somewhere. And I can get citizenship here easy because I went to secondary school here. I mean, I guess the natural thing would be to go for Iacon, but it's almost impossible to start from the ground in Iacon politics. It's going to be an uphill battle anyway, because I'm so low-sparked. Sorry it's so far from… I mean…"  _ It's pretty far from Praxus… but that's assuming Breeze is going to stay here with me… Hey, I can ask her at the party. Now there's an idea. I mean, she doesn't like a big show, but.. hmmm… Would she appreciate me springing that on her in front of the whole class? _

"Searchlight?" Breeze asked.  _ Why is he staring at me like that? _

"Oh," Searchlight said. "Sorry, nothing."  _ I really don't know what I'd do without her. If she says no, I don't know what I'll do.  _ He glanced in my direction.  _ Hey, Wave, don't warn her or anything that I'm thinking of asking her. Wow, now I really have to have that party. _

"You got so quiet all of a sudden." Breeze said. "Are you okay, Searchlight?"

"Excuse me?" Searchlight said. "Are you suggesting that I'm too noisy most of the time?"

Breeze smiled at him. "I'm just not used to seeing you thinking."

"Oh," Searchlight said, smirking back.  _ I think we've thoroughly corrupted her. She's getting better at those subtle insults.  _ "Ouch."  _ Yes, I am definitely asking this femme to bond with me. _

The headmaster got up on the stage. "All right, everyone," he said. "We have decided on the teams that will be sent on to Iacon in a decaorn."

The auditorium quieted as the headmaster held up a datapad. He read off the teams one by one, to polite clapping and occasional loud cheering. Wheeljack and Shockwave's project got a lot of loud applause.

Searchlight's group was going to Iacon. Ratchet and I got picked too. Breeze didn't. She was disappointed, but didn't say anything about it.

Searchlight leaned toward Breeze as the headmaster started his closing speech. "They should have picked you."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous," Breeze looked at him seriously. "If you're anything, Searchlight, I want you to be honest with me. And I didn't work nearly as hard on my project as any of the rest of you did."

"It'll feel off with only three of us there," Searchlight said.

Breeze smiled. "I'm sure you can handle it for an orn."

Searchlight shrugged, but it had just hit him that that was what the end of secondary school meant. Ratchet and I were going to the Academy in Iacon, and he and Breeze weren't. Now,  _ now  _ he was starting to think that secondary school hadn't been long enough.

"There you go, looking thoughtful again," Breeze said. "What is it?"

"Just thinking. It's really close, isn't it?"

"What? The trip to Iacon?"

"No, the end of school," Searchlight said.  _ I'm going to miss them… no I won't. I won't miss them because we're going to stay in touch, frag it. _

"Yeah," Breeze agreed. "That feels so utterly strange, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "On to bigger and better things, mechs. And the end of school doesn't need to be the end of this…" he gestured out.

"What, the four of us?" Breeze shook her helm, smiling. "Of course not. We're friends. That's never going to change."

"Would you two be quiet?" Ratchet grumbled. "We're supposed to be paying attention."

Searchlight rolled his optics but we all went back to listening to the headmaster's speech.

"…thank all of the students again, and the teachers. We've seen some amazing projects this year. All of our contestants did wonderfully. I'd be proud to take any and all of you to compete at Iacon. Thank you all again for coming. Would all of our contestants in the audience stand up?"

The four of us stood, and clapped for our friends, then the Headmaster had the teacher mentors stand up and we cheered for them. Finally, we were allowed to leave.

"It's good that one of us is staying behind anyway," Breeze said as we walked out of the auditorium. "I can watch Soundwave's symbionts for the orn."

"Thank you," I told her.

"Don't worry about it," Breeze said. "Let's go tell them the good news."

"And then we need to find Cablereach and talk him into talking the headmaster into letting us have a party in the energon hall."

"Who said I was going to help with that?" Ratchet demanded.

"Ratchet," Searchlight said, "If I was speaking to you ever again, which I'm not, I would remind you that when I say 'we' it does not necessarily mean you."

"Would you cut that out?"

"You know if you weren't so fun to tease, I wouldn't do it. Part of me thinks you like excuses for being grumpy."

Ratchet glared at him.

We left the crowds, much to my relief. I still didn't  _ like  _ crowds, even though they didn't give me a processor ache anymore.

The symbionts were waiting in Searchlight's room. They sometimes spent the orn there, much to Ratchet's displeasure.

"Did you win?" Frenzy asked excitedly. "Did you?"

"Everyone but me," Breeze said.

"Awww," Frenzy looked down.

"Hey, don't be sad," Breeze sat down on the ground and picked him up. "It just means when Soundwave and the others go spend and orn in Iacon, I get to stay here with you."

"Oh," Frenzy said. "I guess that's not so bad."

"Hmph," Rumble said. "You like her so much, why don't you just bond with her, Frenzy."

"If you like yourself so much, Rumble," Frenzy snapped back. "Why don't you go bond with yourself?"

"You imbecile. That makes absolutely no sense."

"Don't call me an imbecile, you scrap-helm." Frenzy launched off of Breeze's lap before she could catch him and bowled his twin over.

Breeze frowned at them.

"Just let them be," Searchlight said. "They won't kill each other."

"They shouldn't fight so much, though."

Searchlight shrugged and sat on his berth. "Well, it's kind of entertaining."

"Searchlight!"

"Just kidding, just kidding."

"What is it with you this orn?" Breeze asked.

"Nothing. Really, there just keep being these wonderful opportunites to mess with you mechs… and femme," He added before Breeze threw anything at him. "So, shall we go talk to Cablereach, Ratchet excepted."

"Sure," Breeze got up. "But I doubt I'll be doing much talking."

"That's fine. You can be my moral support. Let's go."

Breeze and I looked at each other.  _ He's so ridiculous sometimes. _

I nodded.

_ And you just can't stop him when he's got a project, no matter what you do. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing... _

I shrugged.

"Are you two talking about me behind my back?" Searchlight asked.

"Yes," Breeze admitted. "Let's go talk to Cablereach."

* * *

Cablereach wasn't in his office when we got there, but he showed up after a few breems.

"Oh, hi," he said. "Do you three need something? Congratulations, by the way, Searchlight and Soundwave, on making the finals. Yours was good too, Breeze. I'm a little surprised they didn't pick it."

"Thanks," Breeze said.  _ He’s just saying that. _

"Come in." Cablereach opened the door and gestured for us to go ahead of him. We did so and he followed and sat down at his desk. "So what is it I can do for you?"

"We've come to ask a favor," Searchlight said. "Sort of. I had an idea during the assembly."

"Oh?" Cablereach asked. "Was this idea what Ratchet was so upset about?"

Searchlight grinned.  _ Poor Ratchet.  _ "Sort of? Not the whole idea, though, just part of it. and I was only joking, so that doesn't count."

"All right," Cablereach raised an optic ridge. "Tell me this idea of yours."

"I want to throw a kind of a party," Searchlight said. "For the graduating class."

_ I think I already agree with Ratchet.  _ "A party?"

"Yeah. Nothing too crazy. Some lights and music and energon, and maybe some entertainment. Games, stuff like that. I could organize the whole thing myself. I mean, I  _ am  _ student body president, so I've got the mechpower. I just need permission, a location, and maybe some funding too…"

"Covered," Breeze said. "Funding is covered. My creators give me lots of credit to spend and I never use it."

"Hmmm…" Cablereach said.

"It would be in five orns, when we have exactly one quartex left of school. I promise it won't get too crazy. We'd like to use the energon hall. It'd just be a smaller kind of a party. If it went well, maybe I could put together an end-of-the-term one too, for everyone.

_ Hasn't this mech caused enough damage already with disc?  _ "You know, if I back this and it goes wrong, I'm the one in trouble."

"Don't worry," Searchlight said. "I'll be careful, I promise."

"I know you too well for that, Searchlight," Cablereach said.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "I give you my most solemn promise that I won't let this get out of hand and I call on Breeze and Soundwave to stop me or come tell you if anything I'm planning is stupid or dangerous."

_ And if we keep it toned down this time, we can get  _ really  _ crazy at the end of term party and no one will stop me. _

I put my faceplate in my hands.

"Soundwave's vote of confidence is very reassuring," Cablereach said flatly.

"What if I gave you veto power," Searchlight suggested. "Up to the astrosecond the party starts, you can call it off. And you get to approve all of the plans, all the decorations, music, and everything."

Cablereach sighed. "Soundwave, can I trust him?"

I hesitated, then nodded. "This time."

_ This time?  _ Cablereach wondered.  _ What does that mean? _

_ Thanks, 'Wave, you're the best. _

"All right," Cablereach said at length. "I'll ask Graycharter what he thinks. If he says no, though, I don't want to hear about this again."  _ When these students leave, it's going to be such a relief. I'll miss them, though. Searchlight is a one-of-a kind troublemaker. Half of the time, I don't even think he does it on purpose.  _ "You'd better start planning though, if you're going to have this thing in five orns."

"Thanks so much, Cablereach, you're the best," Searchlight said. "Come on, let's go tell Ratchet and the others." We got up and headed for the door.

"Hold on," Cablereach stopped us. "Soundwave, wait, can I talk to you for a moment?"

I nodded and waved Breeze and Searchlight on without me.

Cablereach watched them go, then turned his attention to me. "So, how are you? How's your range?"

"Not too bad. It'll be another vorn before it's a problem again—unless I do something stupid like stretch it out."

"Good," Cablereach said. "You've been doing very well in your classes. There should be no problem getting you into the Academy." He smiled. "I want you to know I'm honored to have been your teacher."

I shook my helm. "I couldn't be here right now if it wasn't for your help."

"See and there it is, that stubborn humility. Given the circumstances, that's amazing."

I shook my helm again.

"Whatever you go on to do, Soundwave, you're going to be great at it."

"Thank you," I said. "And thank you for teaching. Not just me, but for teaching in general."

Cablereach smiled. "Thank you. I try my best. I'll see you in class next orn, Soundwave."

I nodded and turned to leave.

* * *

The rest of the decaorn was spent planning the party. Searchlight had promised it wouldn't get crazy. He hadn't promised it wouldn't be loud and colorful and exciting. He lined up volunteer performances and talked some of the engineers, including me, into designing a sound system. Breeze made invitations and flyers and made sure everyone knew about the event. Cablereach carefully approved all the plans, and Ratchet moped and grumbled, but was secretly looking forward to it.

As soon as classes let out on the orn of the party, we all—minus Ratchet and my symbionts, hurried to the energon hall to start setting up. I would be running the lights and the sound system. Searchlight had repeatedly apologized for asking me to do something that would prevent me from participating in the party with everyone else, and I had repeatedly assured him that I would be much happier sitting off to the side than mingling with the other students. Searchlight wasn't my only friend anymore, but the others were mostly quieter mecha in the science and technology emphases.

My symbionts were allowed to come, provided that they stayed with me and didn't wander off into the crowd or cause trouble.

We were almost done setting up when Wheeljack came in, looking vaguely sad.

Searchlight looked up from discussing something with Breeze. "Oh, hey, Jackie… you've got to get out of here in case Cablereach comes in."

Wheeljack tilted his helm to the side. "Huh?"

"Hurry," Searchlight said, rushing toward him.

"I was just wondering," Wheeljack took a step away. "If you wanted my help with anything? I mean, I know I'm not the best help when it comes to standard, reliable stuff, but…"

"Hey, Wheeljack, I'm sorry," Searchlight said. "Cablereach will shut this party down if he thinks it's going to get out of hand. But we're having another one in about a quartex, right after finals, uh…" He looked around. "Would you do all the special effects and stuff for that one?"

I had a mental image of the school blowing up.

"Sure," Wheeljack said, then smirked. "Double-blind analysis and everything?"

"Ha," Searchlight rolled his optics. "Double blind analysis and everything."

"So…" Wheeljack looked around.  _ Why not this party? Maybe he already found someone else… _

Searchlight guessed what he was upset about. "See I'd ask for your help now, but if we want to really put on a show next time, then we need this party to be kind of toned down."

"Will it be any fun then?"

"Comparatively," Searchlight corrected himself. "Comparatively toned down. Next one, we're going to make our mark on the school."

"Possibly by making the roof cave in," Breeze wandered over, smiling cheerfully. "Or something equally dramatic."

"Exactly," Searchlight replied. "Just don't tell Cablereach or Ratchet or…" he turned. "Oh, hi, Soundwave."

I shook my helm. Hopeless. I was going to get in trouble if he did something that crazy because there was no way to say he'd kept it from me.

"Okay," Wheeljack said. "That's fine, I guess."

"I  _ will  _ see you at this party, though, right?"

Wheeljack smiled. "Of course. I wouldn't miss it." He left the room and Searchlight let out a sigh of relief.

"You know," Breeze said. "Keeping it a secret that you're going to make the next party ridiculously crazy might be hard."

"Yeah," Searchlight said.

"And I was just joking when I said that about bringing the roof down. We are  _ not  _ doing something that could potentially get mecha hurt."

"It won't be  _ that  _ crazy," Searchlight said. "It's got to be fun. No one's going to have any fun if the school blows up and we all die."

Breeze nodded.

"We can keep it to a crazy and fun level without letting it spill over into complete insanity."

"You'd better hope so," Breeze said. "Because that will either be the best end of school party ever, or it will land us in so much trouble..."

"Well," Searchlight said. "I like to live dangerously. You know that."

"If you're going to do something really dangerous, I will tell Cablereach," I warned him.

"Spoilsport."

"Lunatic."

"You're the one who can read minds."

"You're still crazier."

"Prove it."

I replayed a few phrases of his previous conversation. "Hey, Wheeljack… would you do all the special effects?"

"You need to stop that, mech," Searchlight grinned. "I can't even win pretend arguments against you."

* * *

By the time the party started, we were ready. While the students were showing up, there was music, and lots of colorful, shifting lights. Small cubes of energon were set on a table to the side of the room, along with a large bowl of energon treats. Searchlight walked from group to group, talking and laughing with everyone. I sat in my corner and watched and made sure none of my symbionts wandered off.

When just about everyone had come, and several students from other terms had sneaked in as well, Searchlight got up on a stage we had built at the front of the room. I raised the lighting a little and quieted the music and everyone turned to look at him.

Of course he'd make a speech. Well, he was going into politics, so none of us could really blame him. It would probably be a short speech though, so they wouldn’t mind anyway.

"Hey, everyone! Glad you could make it." We had a speaker on him so he could be heard over the crowd. "Welcome to the pre-finals party! We are here to celebrate the calm before the storm..."

There was scattered laughter.

"Pretty soon, we'll all be too busy studying for finals to think about anything else, so let's party this off-cycle, like we mean it, all right?"

There was a cheer, and Searchlight hopped down off of the stage, so I turned off his speaker and turned the music back up again.

Often things like this, especially things put on by students, didn't go very well. That was not the case here. Everyone seemed to enjoy the music and the games. It helped some that I could effectively sense the mood of the crowd and what they wanted more of. There was lots of talking and laughing and dancing and as the allotted time we had in the energon hall came closer and closer to running out, no one got tired of being there. Either the stars had aligned somehow to make it go well, or Searchlight was an event-planning genius. Possibly both.

Near the end, Searchlight got back up on stage. I waited for the song to end, then stopped the music. The crowd wasn't happy. They didn't want this to be over yet.

"Well, what do you think?" Searchlight asked. "Ready for finals?"

The crowd shouted their disagreement.

"Ok, okay," Searchlight said. "Yeah, that was a bad question. Who's ready for finals?" he rolled his optics. "No one's ever ready for finals."

His words were conversational, but his tone was confident, and clear. It struck me, not for the first time, that he was an adult—that we both were.

"So, thank you all for coming. I had fun, how about you?"

They cheered so loud and long you almost thought they'd never stop.

"I just wanted to say a few things before the custodial drones kick us all out." He waited for the laughter to die down. "I've been at this school for nearly a vorn and a half now, and I am honestly not sure how to feel about leaving it. I'm going to miss you mechs. I mean, I'm sick of school, but you're all awesome."

They cheered him again.

"All of you, of course," Searchlight said. "But a few, especially. My roommate, Ratchet, for one. And my best friend Soundwave, who, by the way, was running the music for us this off-cycle. Let's hear it for him, huh?"

They all cheered again, long and loud.

I had never imagined I'd ever have a crowd of mecha cheering for me.

"And I've got my engineering team who built the sound system and put up the lights." He gestured to a group of my friends.

More cheering.

"And let's not forget the student council, who are organizing geniuses. I couldn't have done it without them."

I took a deep vent and let it out. I was a little worried about how this next part was going to go, because some mecha got really jumpy up in front of crowds.

"And then there's Breeze," Searchlight said. "She did the decorations and a lot of the credit we spent for this party came out of her subspace pockets."

When the cheering died down for Breeze, Searchlight waved into the audience. "Breeze, come up here."

She came, to more cheering, and climbed up on the stage. She was a little confused, because he hadn't mentioned anything in the plans about her coming up on stage at the end. She was a little worried he'd ask her to say something. Searchlight took Breeze's hand. "It's her you have to thank for this party, more than anyone else."

He had to wait again.

"See," he said, "Cuz anyone who knows me knows I am  _ nothing  _ without her."

The crowd reacted a little differently to that one.

"And the one thing I am most terrified about right now is not the fact that finals are coming. It's the afterward—the goodbyes." He turned toward Breeze and took both of her hands in his.

_ "Are you really doing this right now?"  _ She commed on an internal frequency.

_ "Yes,"  _ "So I want to try to avoid at least one of them. Breeze, after school, when it's over, will you stay here with me, and bond with me?"

If someone had been walking by outside, they would have thought there was some sort of emergency. The cheering and screaming lasted so long and was so loud that Searchlight wouldn't have been able to hear Breeze's answer if she had been collected enough to give one.

Eventually, the room quieted down again, expectant.

_ "No shame, Breeze,"  _ Searchlight said.  _ "If you say no, we'll all just laugh it off." And I'll go throw myself off of the roof or something, but whatever. _

"Oh," Breeze said, realizing she was expected to answer and the whole room was waiting on it. "Of course, yes."

The room exploded again, or so it seemed to everyone's audios. Searchlight pulled Breeze into a tight embrace and pressed his faceplate to hers. When the room finally calmed down, he waved. "Thanks again for coming!" he said. "Hey, and I hope to see you here again at our  _ after  _ finals party, which is going to awesome!"

They cheered again, and then finally started to leave. Mecha went to congratulate Searchlight and Breeze before they left, and some even came to me to thank me for the music. Then the last of them had gone and it was time to clean everything up.

"Searchlight!" Breeze picked up an empty cube of energon off the table and threw it at him.

"Whoa," Searchlight said. "What?"

"I can't believe you… in front of all those mecha."

"Sorry," Searchlight said. "I worried you might be kind of upset, but…"

"Don't. Don't apologize." She took a deep vent and let it out slowly. "You just… you just terrified me... Up in front of everyone... Made me look like an idiot."

"Mostly, he made himself look like an idiot," I put in.

"I'm really sorry," Searchlight said again, this time earnestly.

"You aren't."

"I am."

"I love you."

Searchlight hesitated. "Really?"

She threw another empty energon cube at him. "Well, if I didn't, you don't think I would have said yes, do you?"

"No. I mean… wait. Now I don't know what I'm talking about."

"Do you ever?" Breeze asked.

"Not when you're in the room."

"Ugh!" Rumble said. "Would you two glitched morons cut it out? You're making my tanks churn."

"Okay," I said. "Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage, Laserbeak, if you help clean up, you can help yourself to the energon treats that are left over."

"Yay!" Frenzy said.

Ratchet came over. He had spent most of the party sitting to the side of the room. He hadn't helped set anything up, but he helped us take it down. Searchlight and Breeze talked excitedly the whole time about planning the next party, and what they were going to do after school was out, and avoided discussing the decision they had just made because neither of them could quite believe it yet.


	46. The Golden City

The next orn, after classes, Cablereach wanted to see us in his office. We were worried it was about the party. It  _ had  _ gotten a little crazy there at the end, what with Searchlight proposing to Breeze on stage and everything. That might have been a little bit too much, and I knew for a fact Searchlight hadn't gotten  _ that _ approved beforehand.

"Come in," Cablereach said, when we got to his office. "Thank you for coming to see me."

"So," Searchlight said as we filed in. "Why do you want to talk to us?"

"Well," Cablereach said. "I think your party was a success. The students enjoyed it and the energon hall is still standing. You…uh, I was only there for the first half or so, but I hear it got kind of interesting by the end." He looked between Searchlight and Breeze. "I don't remember that in your plans."

"Sorry," Searchlight grinned and took Breeze's hand. "So, do we get another party after finals?"

"Yes," Cablereach said. "But with the same rules as this one. I get to see all your plans and approve them before you do anything."

"Sure thing," Searchlight said, already plotting ways to get around that. "So if you didn't call us in because you were mad about the party, then…"

"I guess..." Cablereach said. "I guess I could have just called Soundwave in, but I figured he'd want all of you to help discuss this…" He looked at me and I nodded. These mecha were my friends—practically my family. There was very little I wouldn't want to discuss with them.

"So, obviously, I won't be at the Academy," Cablereach said. "I am certain that Soundwave will be admitted, which is wonderful, but once he's there he's on his own."

Searchlight put a hand on my shoulder. "No he isn't."

"I appreciate that you're still going to be good friends," Cablereach said. "I would expect nothing less. But that's not what I meant. He won't have an authority figure who's in on the secret who can help him if there's trouble."

I nodded. I hadn't really considered that, but it was true.

"That's right," Searchlight said. "It's been awesome having you. I'm not sure what we'd have done without you." He remembered all the times Cablereach had shown up to save my aft. When Motormaster had almost killed me, when my range had gotten too big…

"So," Breeze said. "What can we do about it?"

"I have a very close friend," Cablereach said. "I'd trust him with my life and everything and anything else. He's a professor of science at the Academy, and so would be in a good position to mentor you, Soundwave. It's your decision, of course, and you obviously don't need to entrust him with the secret if you don't want to, especially not until you've met him and gotten to know the inside of his processor a little. But believe me when I say I would not suggest this if I weren't certain you can trust him. We've been friends since school. He's like… he's like my Searchlight, if you want to think about it that way."

We were all quiet for part of a breem.

"Well," Breeze said at length. "I think this one's entirely your call, Soundwave."

"It would be good to have someone there already," I said. "I'd like to meet him first."

"Of course," Cablereach said. "And you can, if you like. Next orn, on the field trip in fact. You'll have to miss the traditional tour of Iacon Central, but..."

"I don't mind missing it," I said. I had figured it would be pretty boring, and far too crowded anyway.

"Okay," Cablereach said. "If you're sure."

"Yes," I said. "I'd like to meet your friend."

Cablereach nodded. "I'm glad. I don't want to rush you into this, though. Inviting someone to join this group of mecha who know is not something to be done lightly."

"That's why 'Wave's going to be talking to him first," Searchlight said. "To decide if he's trustworthy."

Cablereach nodded.

"I trust you," I said. "And by extension, I'm willing to at least try to trust the mecha you trust."

"Thank you," Cablereach said. "Keep thinking about this. I'll talk to him and see if he'll be free next orn, after the presentations. Good luck to all of you in the competition, by the way.

"Wheeljack and Shockwave are going to take first for engineering." Ratchet said. "And I don't think we'll win in medicine either."

"You don't have to win to have a good project," Cablereach said. "But yes, my money's on Wheeljack and Shockwave winning. They're going to the Academy too, and my friend will probably be mentoring them as well. The three of you get along pretty well, don't you?"

I nodded. They didn't know my secret, but we shared interests and we could always find something to talk about.

"And I'm going there," Ratchet said. "If I can manage to pass the entrance exams."

Cablereach smiled. "Of course you can. Now I won't take up any more of your orn, unless there's anything you want to ask of me?"

We all looked at each other.

"No," I answered for all of us. "Except, thank you for being trustworthy."

"I'm always happy to help," Cablereach said.

We got up and left his office.

"Let's get out of here," Searchlight said. "Let's go to the park."  _ I need to stare at the open sky for a while. Everything's happening really fast all of a sudden. _

We picked up my symbionts on our way out. There were others at the park playing disc—mecha who didn't even know that the inventor of the game was walking past them.

We went to our favorite metal hill and lay down around it, looking at the sky. Except for Ratchet—he was studying a datapad.

"You know," Breeze said. "I like how Cablereach said that his friend was like his Searchlight."

"Yeah?" Searchlight said.

"No, really. I think everyone needs a Searchlight." Breeze said. "We should mass produce you and sell you and make a lot of credit."

"Breeze," Ratchet said. "Sometimes you make absolutely no sense."

"I know," Breeze said. "But just imagine it. We could be rich. And other mecha do have Searchlights. Like Shockwave's Searchlight is Wheeljack."

"I am not Wheeljack," Searchlight said.

"But you're like... the definition of that best friend who drags you around and forces you to do things and be happy. That friend who picks you up and carries you as long as it takes for you to get back to your pedes."

Searchlight shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. "Whatever. Don't do that."

"What? Praise you?"

"That," Searchlight agreed. "It's not like I'm all that special. I take care of my friends, is all. Everyone should do that. Everyone deserves to have friends who care about them. I'm not all that crazy for believing that, am I?"  _ Really, Primus, it's not all that exciting. _

_ He doesn't even realize,  _ Breeze thought.  _ That's why I love him… _

Searchlight sat up suddenly. "Hey, mechs."

Breeze frowned at him.

"And femme," he amended.

"What?" Ratchet snapped.

"I have had a thought."  _ And Soundwave probably knows what it is, but you know what, whatever. I'm going to be dramatic about this. It's worth a little flair. _

"Oh really?" Breeze said, with a small smile. "You? A thought? The world must be coming to an end."

"Haha," Searchlight said, still grinning. "No, but this is serious. You listen too, Ratchet, I don't care what you're studying for. Just listen. And I know this might seem kind of obvious, but I just want to make it official."

"We're all listening," Breeze assured him.

"We have to stick together after school," Searchlight said.

We all looked at him. Of course we'd stick together after school.

"I know Soundwave and Ratchet are both going on to even higher education, and Breeze and I are going into our respective fields, but we have to keep in touch. And meet in person… at least once a decaorn, somehow or another."

"Well, Searchlight," Breeze said. "Um… I think I'm going wherever you're going."

"I know," Searchlight said, putting his hand on top of hers. "But I mean  _ all  _ of us have to stick together. This kind of thing… this friendship the four of us have… you might be right, Breeze, it doesn't happen every orn. I care more about you mechs than I care about the sun rising every on-cycle. I don't want us to drift apart. We've only got four more decaorns until graduation. I don't want to graduate if it means we're going to all go our separate ways and forget about each other."

"Don't worry about me," I said. "As if I could forget any of you."

"Well," Ratchet said. "What? Do you want us to promise to stay in touch or something?"

"Sure," Searchlight said. "Let's do that."

"Okay," Breeze said. "I'll go first then. I promise I'll stay in touch with all of you."

I nodded. "Me too."

Searchlight turned to regard Ratchet.

Ratchet glared at him.  _ What, does he think I  _ would  _ drift away? Primus, I'm with Soundwave, these mechs are basically my only friends. _

"Say it," Searchlight said.

_ He wants me to... Bah!  _ "Fine. I'll pester you all for the rest of my life."

"Thanks," Searchlight said. "Now you all had better keep that promise."

"Searchlight," Breeze smiled at him. "With you in this group, trust me, we're all sticking together."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Searchlight asked.

"That you'll probably never leave us alone if we don't," Ratchet grumbled.

"Well, naturally," Searchlight grinned.

* * *

The next orn dawned clear. Ten projects and eighteen students were going to Iacon. I had been there before, to the golden city. I had disliked it, but I had been young and had hated crowds even more than I did now.

The school was paying for transportation, so we got to go by groundbridge. We made an interesting procession walking to the groundbridge station. We'd needed a transport to move Wheeljack and Shockwave's project.

It was even more of a strange sight in the groundbridge station, but by far the weirdest thing was putting the groundbridge through the groundbridge.

And then we came out on the other end and left the station there.

A group of Academy students were waiting for us outside.

"Hey," the leader of them seemed to be a little green femme. "You're here for the Academy Presentations, right?"

"Yes," Graycharter said.

"Great," The femme said, smiling at the group of students. "Welcome to Iacon Central! Come on, we'll take you through the city. You can leave your equipment and stuff here. We'll make sure it gets to the Academy safely. You could go with it through the underground, but trust me, you want to see the surface."

We all followed her while the other Academy students stayed behind with all our props. Wheeljack and Shockwave wanted to stay with their groundbridge, but they reluctantly let themselves be herded away.

The groundbridge station was just outside of the hub of central Iacon, so the first few streets seemed reasonably normal. Then it was like we passed through a wall into another world. The buildings here rivaled those of Praxus for height and beauty. The atmosphere was clear and the sun dome reflected light down from the sky that glinted off of every surface, almost blinding.

It could have, despite all the gold, been less than interesting to look at. If you plated an entire city in gold, it wouldn't be all that much more exciting than painting an entire city the exact same shade of green. But there were darker tones and other metals, and crystal pillars.

Overall, the effect was breathtaking.

"Now I really wish Breeze could have come," Searchlight said. "She'd love this place."

"She's seen it before," I told him. "She does really like it. She likes Praxus better though."

"Yeah," Searchlight said. "It's too bad I can't go live in Praxus. But they would never let a non-Praxian in their Council.  _ They're almost as bad as Vos that way. 'Wave, do you think it's wrong of me to take her away from her home like that? _

I shook my helm. "She'd be happier in Kalis with you."

"I hope so," Searchlight replied.

The Academy students led us to their campus. It was grand—one of the largest most beautiful complexes in the city, and just across the central courtyard from the Council Hall as well. I wished I was here by myself, because I kind of wanted to experience this city on my own without everyone else's wonder crowding mine out.

Hundreds of students from all over the world were here to present. We were split up into departments. Ratchet and I were going to have to go twice—once in the medical department, and once in the engineering one. Fortunately, being a mind-reader helped in being able to figure out exactly when and where you were supposed to be, and though Ratchet was worried, we managed to figure it out. We even got to watch Wheeljack and Shockwave do their presentation.

After we were all done presenting, we went to a giant auditorium to have the winners announced. Ratchet and I managed to find Searchlight and sat with him through the ceremony. Our school placed several times, though Ratchet and I didn't. Neither did Searchlight's group, which was a little surprising. Wheeljack and Shockwave got first place in their department, of course. You couldn't out-do building a groundbridge from scratch. I would have been willing to bet there wasn't another team of secondary schoolers who had  _ ever  _ done that.

We stood and cheered and listened—or at least half-listened—to all the announcements and speeches. The Academy's grand auditorium was also quite impressive. It could probably seat twenty thousand mecha or more. Everyone in and viewing the competition took up just one section of the vast room.

When the long ceremony was over, all the students were herded out by their teachers and principals. The winners had to stay a little longer. We waited for Cablereach, who was talking to Wheeljack and Shockwave, standing next to a red mech who also seemed to be part of the conversation. It was hard to tell, but Wheeljack and Shockwave were probably being congratulated. I recognized the other mech as Cablereach's friend, though I'd only seen him in Cablereach's memories before.

Eventually, they came over to us.

"Okay," Cablereach said. "Here you three are. You should go with Searchlight's group's mentor all right? I have other things I need to do... Oh, introductions. This is Searchlight. He's going into government and going to do a lot of good there. Ratchet here's going into medical research."

"Yes," the red mech said. "I saw these two present. Very good job, both of you. I was impressed by the amount of detail in your presentation."

_ In other words,  _ Cablereach thought,  _ It probably put everyone else to sleep.  _ "And this is Soundwave," He gestured to me. "This," he put an arm around the red mech's shoulders. "Is Perceptor, my good friend and fellow science enthusiast."

Preceptor smiled. He had one of those processors like Shockwave's—clear and organized. As with Shockwave, I found myself liking him, in part because his thoughts were so easy to follow.

"Okay," Searchlight said. "Awesome to meet you. 'Wave, we'll see you in a couple of joors out on the steps of the Council Hall."  _ That's really the only thing I'm actually interested in touring. We can spend the rest of the afternoon exploring the city. _

They left.

_ I am extremely curious to find out why Cablereach was so insistent that I meet this student of his.  _ Perceptor looked at me thoughtfully.  _ He isn't usually so secretive about anything.  _ "Shall we get some energon then?" Perceptor said. "And go to my office to talk?"

"That sounds like as good a plan as any," Cablereach said. "Let's go."

We followed Perceptor out of the crowded auditorium and outside again.

"So," Perceptor said. "Cablereach mentioned that you intend to apply for the Academy."

I nodded.

"What branch exactly would you be going into?"

"Computer Science," I said. "Or maybe mechanical engineering."

"Like that mech with the groundbridge?"

"Yes," I said. "Wheeljack's a friend. It would be nice to go through the same program as him."

"So did you help them at all with that project?"

"I got to look at the control panel once or twice," I said.

"Really? Do you know if it was standard, or if they'd come up with their own way of configuring it?"

"It was standard," Cablereach answered for me. "With some modifications."

"A fascinating subject, the groundbridge," Perceptor said. "Have you heard my theory about it? Not that it's well-known, but Cablereach might have talked about it."

I nodded. "The theory that if you could get it efficient enough, you could use it to produce energy? Yes."

"For example, if you opened up one end on the surface of the planet, and the other high up in the atmosphere, the difference in pressure would constantly push the atmosphere through the bridge at the bottom. The only problem with that being the enormous amount of energy it takes to power a groundbridge…" He nearly crashed into a mech going the other way. I had been paying attention to Perceptor, so this other mech seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Oh, excuse me, Percy," he said. There was something about him that bothered me.

"Terribly sorry," Perceptor said. "I didn't notice you."

"You're perfectly all right," the other mech said, and looked at me.

I realized I couldn't hear his thoughts. He was standing just two paces away and I couldn't hear his thoughts…

"Who is this?" the mech asked with a very slight frown.

"This is Soundwave," Cablereach said. "He's a student of mine."

"Oh," the mech said. "Well, good to meet you."

I couldn’t tell what he was thinking behind his piercing, ice blue optics. It was like he was staring through my screen into my spark.

_ Soundwave,  _ Cablereach thought,  _ This is another mech you can trust. _

I didn't think so. And I didn't like the look he was giving me at all.

"Well, I'd stay and talk, but I have to go," he said. "Good orn."

"That's Alpha Trion," Perceptor said. "He's on the High Council, and he's the head archivist for the Hall of Records… he isn't technically a professor here, but he's on campus often."

Personally, I hoped I never met him again. I wished I could tell Cablereach about not being able to read Alpha Trion's mind, but I couldn't with Perceptor standing there.

"Come on," Cablereach said.  _ What's wrong, Soundwave? I wonder what Alpha Trion was thinking. _

We continued forward. After half a breem, Perceptor started talking about groundbridges again. I was able to understand and respond to most of what he was saying—helped by the fact that I could read his processor. Even Cablereach was having a bit of a hard time keeping up, but I actually understood most of the concepts we were discussing even as it got into what was happening in a bridge on a multidimensional, sub-molecular level.

We got to the science building and Perceptor took us to a room full of benches and tables with an energon dispenser in the corner. There were a few mechs and femmes there—mostly other professors. Perceptor got a cube of energon for each of us and Cablereach and I followed him out of the room, to his office.

_ Have you made a decision yet?  _ Cablereach wondered.

I hesitated.

_ Do you want to keep talking for a while and then tell him later, maybe in a couple of decaorns? _

I considered for a moment, but I already knew what my decision was. Perceptor had a clean, honest mind, and I was fairly sure he'd be good at keeping secrets. Besides, Cablereach trusted him. I shook my helm slightly.

Perceptor noticed and wondered about the gesture, but didn't say anything. We got to his office. It was neat and spacious, with counters lining the wall and a round table in the center of the room. Perceptor sat at the table and we did as well.

"All right, Cablereach," Perceptor said. "I have to admit, Soundwave is brilliant, and will probably be an excellent student here. But your insistence on meeting me alone with him is somewhat perplexing. Am I going to hear the answer to this mystery now?"

Cablereach looked at me.

I took a deep vent and nodded.

_ Are you sure? _

I nodded again.

"All right," Cablereach said. "First, though, you need to promise not to tell anyone. This is very important, and it is a very serious matter. For Soundwave's safety, it must be an absolute secret. Do you have any bugs or listening devices in this room?"

"Not that I am aware of," Perceptor said.  _ Oh, dear, what sort of a secret is this?  _ "Are you pulling me into something dangerous, Cablereach?"

"In a way," Cablereach said. "But it's more dangerous for Soundwave to tell you than for you to know."

"Very well," Perceptor said. "I… I will promise to keep this secret safe."  _ Primus beneath, this keeps happening to me… it can't be as serious as Alpha Trion's young Prime, though. _

He actually intended to keep my secret, no matter what it was. That was a first for me.

"Soundwave, would you like to tell him?"  _ If not, I will, but… _

"Okay," I said as Perceptor fixed his attention on me. "I can read minds."

I waited, interested to see his reaction.

For one thing, he believed me immediately. He didn't even entertain the thought that his friend might be pulling a prank on him, not with Cablereach acting so serious. He worked his way through the ramifications of that and confirmed to himself what Cablereach had said about the danger to me.

"That is very interesting," he said at length.  _ Do you just read what someone's currently thinking about, or can you pick through their memories? _

"I can only hear what they're thinking," I said, and then continued to explain to him the way my ability worked. It was surprisingly easy to talk to him, which was a relief. I normally hated explaining this. Cablereach sipped his energon as I talked, but Perceptor was so focused on me that he completely forgot about his. I told him about Searchlight and Verdict and Jazz as well, and about the time my range expanded too far and what I had learned about being an experiment. Perceptor stopped me then.

"Did you happen to pick up on that medic's designation?"

"Neurosis," I said.

Perceptor's optics widened fractionally.  _ I heard about him… he's also the one who's rumored to be working on…  _ He looked at me again, quickly stopping his thought.  _ This could be quite serious. _

"You know the medic who did this?" I asked

"Not personally," Perceptor said. "But I have heard of him."  _ I believe he was supposed to be executed, but somehow I doubt that he was even imprisoned. I should warn… no… _ "He is very dangerous. It is likely that he did more than just make you a telepath."

"A telepath?" I said. "Are there others?"

"Ask Alpha Trion," Perceptor said. "He has records. Most have been lost through time, but there are rumors of telepaths from before the Quintesson wars. Nothing recent, and I'm afraid we know very little about them."

"I… uh… can't hear Alpha Trion's thoughts," I admitted.

_ Oh, that's why you stopped,  _ Cablereach thought.  _ What? _

_ Huh… for some reason that comes as no surprise.  _ "Alpha Trion is an old mech, with many secrets," Perceptor said. "I am not shocked to hear that, though I am a little curious. I can ask Alpha Trion for information about telepaths, though, if you are not comfortable doing so. On the other hand, maybe you should. Soundwave, I…"  _ It would be fascinating to study this… I don't want to get too deep into it, because I'm sure you don't want to be a lab subject. On the other hand, I might be able to help you. If you can make your range grow, surely there is a way for you to make it shrink. _

"If you want," I said. "I can try to get you the information about what else… I mean, the medics opened up my helm to do processor surgery, and there are files about the things that are different…"

"I would like that," Perceptor said. "Of course, only if you feel comfortable giving it to me. I would think you'd be more wary of anyone who wanted to study you."

"I've decided to trust you," I said.

Perceptor looked down. "I hope I can be worthy of your trust."

That was what Cablereach had said.

"I do warn you," Perceptor said. "I have an unfortunately inquisitive processor, and your situation is fascinating. If I ask you to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, then stop me, please. But… I would like to perform a few tests, perhaps, of your abilities. In part to satisfy curiosity—I would be lying if I didn't admit that—but also in part to help you. It seems it would be an immense benefit to you if you were in full control of your range."

I nodded. That would be wonderful.

"Well," Perceptor sat back. "I had never imagined something like this. I'm honored you would come to me. I'm sure Cablereach vouched for my honesty and ability to keep a secret but even so, that's a big leap of faith to make."  _ This truly is a remarkable young mech.  _ "Tell me, Soundwave…"

He had more questions than Breeze and Cablereach combined and he had more to say about the situation than either of them. Cablereach had likened him to Searchlight, but he seemed more like a less volatile version of Wheeljack to me. We missed the time I was supposed to meet with Searchlight and Ratchet. I hoped they weren't worried about me.

About a quarter of a joor after I was supposed to go meet my friends, Cablereach cut Perceptor off. "Percy, uh…"

"Yes?" Perceptor said. "Oh, the time, oh dear, you said you were going to meet your friends. I'm sorry."

"That's all right," I stood. "It was good to meet you."

"Likewise," Perceptor said.  _ We have to make sure he gets into the Academy. Not that he ought to have trouble with that.  _ "I'll want to talk to you again, possibly sometime after your final examinations. I know you'll be busy until then."

I nodded.

"Can you find your way to the Council Hall?"

I nodded again. I'd been doing a lot of talking and even though I liked talking to Perceptor, I was tired of using my voice box.

"Good," Perceptor stood as well. "It was quite a privilege to meet you. I look forward to your being a student here."

"So do I. Thank you," I said, and left Cablereach and Perceptor there to talk. That, I thought, had been very successful. I had a teacher ally here now. I was actually going to be able to go to the Academy. It was not only possible, but likely. And from there, on to some career or other. I might even break with logic and tradition and go run a symbiont shelter or something. I could, if I wanted. I felt suddenly as if the whole world was open to me.

I crossed campus pondering this, and then crossed the courtyard to the Council Hall. Searchlight and Ratchet were  _ not  _ waiting there for me on the steps.

I stood for a few moments, deliberating. It wasn't like them to leave without me, but it  _ was  _ like Searchlight to get bored. I couldn't see them anywhere nearby so I sent a comm. to Searchlight.  _ "Hey, where are you?" _

He didn't answer.

I tried Ratchet instead.

_ "Soundwave!"  _ Ratchet said.  _ "Where the frag are you!" _

_ "Uh, sorry. I'm in front of the Council Hall. I didn't mean to be late. Where are you?" _

There was silence on the other end.

_ "Ratchet?" _

_ "You don't… I'm with Shockwave and Wheeljack. We were looking for you. We're just outside that big auditorium." _

_ "Okay. I'll come to you. See you in a breem."  _ I cut the comm. and started walking across the courtyard again.

Then what he'd said hit me. Ratchet was with Shockwave and Wheeljack. Where was Searchlight, then? Maybe Ratchet had just forgotten to mention him. I got near the auditorium, and sure enough I could see Ratchet and my two classmates standing outside the doors. Wheeljack saw me first and waved enthusiastically.

I jogged over to them. "Where's Searchlight?" I asked.

"He's completely disappeared," Ratchet said. "Wandered off without us, or went to sulk somewhere, or I don't know… We were looking for him too. We thought you might..."

"Wait," I said, trying to pick out the story from Ratchet's jumbled, worried thoughts. "What happened?"

His memories answered me before he did. " _ Well _ ," he said. "The Council was in session, and so one of the teachers asked if we could sit in on it. And they gave a whole group of us permission."

This was not good.

"It was…" Wheeljack said. "It was actually really cool. I mean, the Council meeting was boring, but then…"

"That slagging idiot!" Ratchet said. "Right in the middle of everything, Searchlight just gets up and starts arguing with one of the senators."

"Primus," I said.

"He did," Wheeljack put in. "They were discussing some sort of policy. I can't remember—I wasn't paying attention. But Searchlight got up and started pointing out all the things that weren't right about what they were saying, and the holes in it, and why it was unethical… it was kind of cool."

"It was not cool!" Ratchet glared at Wheeljack. "He got into a shouting match with a  _ senator!  _ And then the guards came and threw him out!"

"Oh, Primus…" I put a hand to my screen. "Ratchet, why didn't you  _ stop _ him?"

"I don't know!" Ratchet said. "I didn't realize he was going to stand up and say something until he was already talking. I should have tried, but I was just so shocked that he would actually… and then once the senator had told him to shut up and sit down…"  _ It was too late. Primus himself couldn't have stopped Searchlight after that. _

I heaved a sigh. At the very least, this would be bad for Searchlight's career, unless he was careful. And Searchlight was never careful.

"Where is he though?" I asked.

"We thought he'd be outside, but he wasn't there," Shockwave said.

"He's not answering his comm." Ratchet added.

I looked down.

_ Don't you even think about using your abilities to try and find him in this crowded city, _ Ratchet thought.

"Do any of the teachers know he's disappeared?"

"No," Ratchet said. "Everyone all went off to tour different buildings or wander around. He probably just got bored waiting. Or maybe he's hiding because he knows I'm going to  _ kill  _ him next time I see him."

But why wasn't he answering his comm? I tried again, and again there was no response.

"Soundwave?" Ratchet said.

"It doesn't seem like him to disappear." I glanced at Wheeljack and Shockwave. "We should try and find him." I sent an internal comm. to Ratchet.  _ "I could go back to the Council Hall and find out if anyone saw which way he went." _

Ratchet nodded.  _ We'd probably want to split up then.  _ "Well, I don't know where he could possibly have gone. We could try back at the Council Hall."

"You two can go tour somewhere else," I said to Wheeljack and Shockwave. "If you want."

"Are you sure?" Wheeljack said. "We can help you look..."

"No, it's fine," I told him.

"Well, let us know when you find him," Shockwave said. "I… can't help feeling nervous about this. From what I know of Searchlight, I agree that it's not like him to walk away from an unfinished argument."

Well, that didn't help me feel less anxious. It was probably fine. He'd just gotten distracted by something else, and turned his comm. off…

Honestly, what could have happened to him?

Ratchet and I left the other two and headed to the Council Hall. Ratchet grumbled the whole way about wasting the orn chasing after wandering idiots instead of touring Iacon's historical buildings.

We asked mecha outside the building, but no one could help us—Searchlight had been kicked out of the meeting long enough ago that it was unlikely anyone currently standing outside had seen him. So we had to go inside.

The secretary at the help desk was friendly, and though she hadn't seen Searchlight come this way, or even heard about the incident, she contacted security and asked them about it.

_ "Hi, sorry to bother you sir…." _

_ "What is it?" _

_ "Some mecha are here asking about a student who got kicked out of the Council meeting. Did that happen?" _

Silence for an astrosecond.

_ "What are they asking?" _

_ "Well, they say the student seems to have disappeared. They just want to know if anyone saw him leaving the building." _

Silence again.  _ "Very well. I will find out who the guards on duty were and ask them." _

_ "Thanks!" _

The mech she'd contacted cut the comm.

"Okay," she said. "They're going to ask if anyone knows."

We waited. And waited.

Even from the brief contact I had with other mecha passing through, I started to pick things up, and got more and more nervous. This place held a lot of secrets—secrets I didn't think I wanted to know about.

Finally, a guard came through a door and walked over to us. The secretary looked up, momentarily worried. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"They said someone had a question about the incident earlier in the Council Hall," the guard, said, making a conscious effort to sound friendly.

"Oh, yes," the secretary said. "There was a student who was… well, asked to leave the premises, I believe. Did you escort him out? Do you know which way he went?"

"Yes," the mech said, still trying hard to sound friendly and unconcerned. "I mean, I don't know where he is now, but we took him out the back entrance and he walked off straight away from the building. Sorry that's not much help."

"That's all right," Ratchet said. "Thank you."

The guard nodded. "No problem, mech."

He left and I followed Ratchet back the way we'd come.

"Why in pit would he have gone south? That's away from the Academy."

I didn't answer until we were outside of the building and far enough away that I was certain no one could hear us.

"Where are you going?" Ratchet said. "The guard said Searchlight went the other way."

"He was lying."

Ratchet frowned at me. "What?"

"They didn't throw him out," I said. "Let's go find Cablereach."

"What do you mean they didn't throw him out? I  _ saw  _ them throw him out."

I shook my helm and walked faster, and Ratchet had to hurry to keep up.

The guards would have just thrown Searchlight out, but at the last moment, they'd gotten a comm. from that senator who he'd been arguing with.

And they'd arrested him instead.


	47. Accidents

I led the way to Perceptor's office and knocked on the door. I listened as Perceptor got up to answer the door. Cablereach was still there too, thankfully.

"Oh, hello," Perceptor said.

Cablereach got up as well, recognizing the concern in Ratchet’s expression "...What's wrong?"

I looked at Ratchet to explain.

_ I don't know why we're here!  _ Ratchet thought.  _ You didn't tell me what that guard was lying about. _

I sighed, and looked back at Cablereach. "Searchlight got arrested."

Cablereach's optic ridges shot up. "What!"

" _ What! _ " Ratchet echoed.

"Oh dear," Perceptor said.

"What happened?" Cablereach demanded.

I looked at Ratchet again.

"Well, they let us sit in on a Council session," Ratchet said. "And we… well, we were listening and Searchlight got up and started arguing with one of the senators…"

"Which senator?" Perceptor asked.

"I don't know," Ratchet snapped. "But he got thrown out, or we  _ thought  _ he did, until we went and asked one of the guards…"  _ Should we be talking about this around a mech who doesn't know about your abilities? _

"The guard lied," I said. "He told us they threw him out, but…"

"But they arrested him," Cablereach said. "Secretly."  _ Primus, you can't take that mechling anywhere without him trying to get himself killed. _

"That does not bode well," Perceptor put in quietly.  _ This could be very bad, depending on who the student was arguing with.  _ "Are you sure you can't remember the senator's designation? That makes a significant difference. What did this student  _ say  _ to get himself thrown out?"

"Shockwave would know," I said. He had been thinking about it. "And I think… the senator's designation was Ratbat."

Cablereach looked to Perceptor who had frozen at hearing the designation.  _ Well, they had better hurry and do something. This is even more serious. Ratbat is easily offended and quite influential.  _ "I suggest you go and make sure that student is all right, Cablereach," he said. "This very moment."

Cablereach nodded. "Come on, let's go."

We left the room.

"Ratchet, you witnessed what happened, right?" Cablereach asked.

"Yes," Ratchet said. "What did that other mech mean when he said we'd better go make sure Searchlight is all right?"

"He meant the senator is dangerous," Cablereach said. "What sort of an argument was this? What exactly did they say?"

"I… to be honest, I was so shocked that Searchlight was actually  _ arguing  _ with a member of the High Council…"

"That's okay," Cablereach said. "You said Shockwave was there too? Where is he now?"

"I think I know," I said, and led the way. We found Wheeljack and Shockwave with their groundbridge, talking to a professor about it. Wheeljack saw us coming, and noticed the look on Cablereach's faceplate.

"Hey," he said, when we got there.

"Excuse me," Cablereach said. "I need to borrow these two for a moment."

The other mech nodded, and Shockwave and Wheeljack followed us a few paces away.

"What's wrong?" Wheeljack asked. "Is Searchlight all right?"

"Shockwave," Cablereach said. "Can you remember what Searchlight said to that senator? And what was his designation?"

"The senator? It was Ratbat," Shockwave said, then started recounting the argument. Cablereach was more and more worried as he listened to Shockwave's description of the conversation. It hadn't been just a shouting match. Searchlight had stayed relatively calm and reasonable as the senator had gotten angrier and angrier. Furthermore, Searchlight had been quite obviously winning the debate when the guards had come in to drag him away.

Silence fell when Shockwave was finished.

"Is Searchlight all right?" Wheeljack asked again.

"I… yes, we just can't find him. Thank you very much, you can go back to your groundbridge."

_ I don't think he's telling the truth,  _ Shockwave frowned at him.  _ But why wouldn't Searchlight be all right? Would the senator have done something to him? _

Cablereach walked away, and Ratchet and I followed him, leaving the other two standing there, worried.

"Do you know where they took him?" Cablereach asked. "Were they going to keep him at the Council Hall, or were they sending him to a detention center?"

"I don't know," I said. "I think… I think they did take him somewhere else…" We should have talked to that guard for longer. I had only gotten a few snippets of useful information.

"How serious is this?" Ratchet asked.

"I don't know," Cablereach took a deep vent and put a hand to his faceplate. "But I don't like that they arrested him secretly. That doesn't bode well at all… he might not even be in a normal detention center."  _ I don't know what to do… he's probably all right, but then again, they lied about arresting him… we need to find out where he is, but then what do we do? I'm a secondary school teacher. I have no authority for anything here. _

"So what do we do?" Ratchet asked.

"Well, for the most part, we just need to find out where he is and make sure he's all right. Let's get to that point and then figure it out from there. I don't think they have any real grounds to keep him in custody, so theoretically it shouldn't be hard to get him released."  _ This might be the end of his career, though. _

"But how do we find out where he is?"

_ That part becomes a lot more possible with Soundwave here. We just need to find someone who knows and trigger a thought about it.  _ "Well, the last place we know he  _ was  _ is the Council Hall. Let's try talking to that guard again."

Cablereach led the way to the Council Hall. He walked up to the front desk and inquired about the incident. The femme there recognized us, and after a few breems of trying to convince Cablereach they couldn't help him any more, she reluctantly commed the head of security again, to ask him if he could send the guard back to answer some more questions. He didn't speak while she was explaining the situation, and then there was silence afterward for a few astroseconds.

_ "Sir?"  _ she asked nervously.  _ "I'm sorry, I tried to get them to go away, but…" _

_ "Send them to my office." _

_ "I… all right, Sir." _

He cut the comm.

That was somewhat ominous.

"The Captain of the Guard will talk to you in his office," she said, then pulled out a datapad. "I'll show you where it is on a map of the building…"

_ That's even better,  _ Cablereach thought.  _ He'll almost certainly know where they sent Searchlight. _

I wasn't so sure about this. The secretary was a little frightened of this mech, and I wasn't sure I wanted to meet him, but if it helped us find Searchlight…

Cablereach studied the map, and then led the way. A few mecha looked at us and wondered if we knew where we were going, and if we were supposed to be here. Cablereach tried hard to look like he knew what he was doing. We got to the office we were looking for and Cablereach pressed the entry request button.

The door slid open, and we filed in. It was rather barren compared to the rest of the Council Hall, and immaculately neat.

The mech sitting behind the desk looked up, and waved for us to come in.

_ I wonder if I can explain the situation to them in some way that doesn't... no, I must protect the interests of the Council, even though that mechling shouldn't have been arrested. _

"Sir," Cablereach said. "We're sorry to bother you, but we're looking for a student who was touring here earlier. As far as we know, a few of your guards were the last mecha to see him…"

"I looked into the issue,"  _ They arrested him. It was poorly done—his disappearance makes them look suspicious. But that could be for the best. If the right mecha found out, this would resolve itself without anyone getting hurt.  _ "They last saw him heading away from the south side of the Council Hall. If you can't find him or contact him, I would suggest requesting the aid of enforcement."

"You have no idea where he could be?"

_ He's in the Iacon City Third detention center. I could… no, I can't.  _ "No, we don't know,” the mech said reluctantly. “And I'm afraid we can't utilize our resources to assist you in finding him."

At least he  _ wanted _ to help.

_ Soundwave, once you know where he is, fold your arms to let me know, and I'll pull out. I don't know how long I can keep this up,  _ Cablereach thought. "Are you certain he went that way? Could I talk to a guard who saw him?"

I discreetly folded my arms.

The mech shook his helm, feeling guilty. "They would only tell you what they told me."  _ Which is a lie. _

Cablereach took a deep vent. "All right," he said. "That's all right then. Thank you for your time."

The mech nodded, and then watched us walk out the door, wishing he could tell us where Searchlight had gone, but forcing himself to wait until it was too late.

I waited until we were outside to send Cablereach a comm.

_ "He's in a detention center. Iacon Third detention center." _

Cablereach let out a relieved sigh.  _ It could be worse. _

_ "It was weird, though. I think that mech wanted to help us, but he couldn't. He seemed to think that if we talked to the right mecha, we could fix this." _

Cablereach nodded.  _ "Well, we'll have to talk to the right mecha then. Excuse me, I need to comm. someone." _

I ended our conversation so he could comm. Perceptor.

_ "Percy?" _

Perceptor answered promptly.  _ "Yes? Did you find that student? Is he all right?" _

_ "We found out where he is. He's in a detention center. By chance do you know how to go about legally getting someone out of a detention center?" _

_ "You know, actually, I do,"  _ Perceptor said.  _ "But I think it would be better if you brought the headmaster of your school. Does he even know?" _

_ "No, I haven't talked to him… but it'll be hard to explain to him how we knew Searchlight was arrested. I'll have to think about this. Give me a breem." _

_ "All right,"  _ Perceptor said.  _ "Let me know when you need my help again." _

Cablereach found a bench and sat down to think for a breem or so.

"Okay," he said at length. "Here's what we're going to do. I will talk to Graycharter about this, and we will deal with it. You two can go back to the Academy and either tour somewhere else, or just…"

"You think we're going to be able to just go on a tour?" Ratchet demanded. "When Searchlight's in jail?"

"Or you could go talk to Perceptor some more," Cablereach said.

"I want to come," I said. "I can help."

"No. Bringing students… Graycharter wouldn't understand why you were there. Besides, I don't know if I want to bring you into an enforcement station or a detention center and now that we know where he is, we don't need your help."

I looked down.

"We'll sort this out," Cablereach said. "Now, I've got to find Graycharter. I'll comm. you when we have news."

He left us standing there.

"Well now what?" Ratchet said.

I shrugged. I didn't really feel like doing anything other than helping Cablereach find Searchlight, but I followed Ratchet back toward the Academy.

* * *

We stood as Perceptor and Cablereach approached. It had been joors. We'd started to worry that we wouldn't have news by the time we were supposed to go back to Kalis.

When they came into my range, though, I knew they hadn't made much headway.

"Well?" Ratchet demanded.

"We confirmed where he is," Cablereach said.  _ After joors of waiting around to talk to mecha who just told us we needed to go talk to someone else… ugh, I am so tired of this. I hope Searchlight appreciates all the effort the rest of us have to go through when he gets himself into trouble.  _ "That's about it. And it's almost time to go back to Kalis. There's nothing more we can do this orn. Next orn, we should be able to visit him, though, and work on getting him out, hopefully before finals."

"We'd better get him out before finals," Ratchet said. The thought of anyone missing final exams made him anxious.

"Are you sure we can't talk to hi-im now?" I asked. Cablereach might not be particularly worried about him anymore, but we hadn't actually made sure he was all right yet. Cablereach hadn't been in that guard's helm, and he couldn't hear Perceptor trying very hard not to think about what sometimes happened to mecha when the government made them disappear.

"They said we can't visit him until next orn. If you were to come here early… but you'd miss school."

As if I cared about missing school. "I could stay here."

"Stay here? Over the off-cycle? No, Soundwave…"

"It's not like Crescent would care."

"You don't have anywhere to stay."

"He could stay at my house," Perceptor said, then smiled slightly when Cablereach shot him an incredulous look. "I don't mean to be a rule-breaker, but in all honesty I think visiting this other student as soon as possible is the best course of action."

"I'll come back before classes are over," I said. "I have enough credit for a mass transit ticket. If I go really early…"

Cablereach sighed.  _ Searchlight did this too, when Soundwave was sick. I doubt I'll be able to talk him out of it, and he  _ is  _ an adult.  _ "Fine," he said. "I'll let Graycharter know why you're staying… I'm sorry about this whole thing. I feel like I should have been able to prevent it. I forgot how much supervision Searchlight needs—If I'd waited to introduce you to Percy until later…"

I shook my helm. It certainly wasn't Cablereach's fault.

"Well, I'm going back," Ratchet said, feeling sick with worry. "Someone's got to tell Breeze about this mess. I can't believe this. Let me know as soon as you talk to him, Soundwave… and hit him over the helm with something for me, all right?"

"Sure."

"Thanks."

"Let me know too," Cablereach said. "Searchlight might have some insights that will help us fix this."

I nodded. A few breems later, the headmaster sent out a comm. to all of us telling us it was time to go, and Ratchet and Cablereach left me there with Perceptor.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"Nonsense," Perceptor said. "It's no trouble at all. Come, I'm done for the orn, let's go to my house.

I followed him, walking across campus again. We were almost to the other end of it when the light from the sun dome suddenly blinked out, leaving us in dimness. Since the city was on the north pole, the sun just circled the horizon all orn, and you could only see it if you were high enough above the rest of the tall buildings. The sun dome, which hovered high up in the sky, caught some of the light and reflected it down during the on-cycle, but in the off-cycle, the city rested in perpetual twilight.

We got to Perceptor's house a few breems later. It was remarkably large for one mech. He invited me into his front room, and we talked for several joors about my abilities, and about science in general. He was mostly doing it out of politeness and to try to keep my processor off of Searchlight's predicament, but I appreciated it all the same.

* * *

The next orn, I got up before the sun dome turned on and left Perceptor's house. He was still recharging then. I remembered the way to the detention center from Cablereach's thoughts, and got there just a few breems after visiting joors started. There was a femme at the desk, who neither looked nor felt particularly friendly.

"What can I help you with?" she asked.

"I'm here to visit someone."

"Who? What's their designation?"

"Searchlight," I said.

She pulled up some files on her datapad and skimmed through them. She found Searchlight's designation listed with his cell number and security risk level.

"All right," she said. "Through that door." She pointed behind herself. "Someone will come for you in a few breems. What's your designation?"

"Soundwave," I said. She nodded, made a note of it, and gestured for me to go through the door. It led into a sparse waiting room with benches and blank walls. I sat for what seemed like joors—but was really only three breems—before a bulky mech opened a door on the other side of the room. He looked at me.

"Soundwave?"

I nodded.

"Come on."

I got up and crossed the room, then followed him. I had been so tempted to expand my range to try to find Searchlight's mind, but I had decided against it. Not in a prison—that was a really bad idea. The guard led me to another room—this one partitioned in the middle by an energy field.

"Wait here."

There were a couple of chairs on either side of the field. I sat in one, waiting nervously.

After half a breem, Searchlight came into my range, and then the door on the other half of the room opened, and he and the guard came in.

I stood and he stopped for a moment, staring at me. He was wearing stasis cuffs and I could see—and feel—that he'd been hurt. A wave of relief washed through his emotional core, and he crossed the room to stand right on the other side of the energy field.

"You have two breems," the guard said. "Unless I hear something I don't like."

Searchlight smiled wryly at that.  _ Of course. Good thing we don't have to say everything verbally. 'Wave, you found me. I'm so glad you found me... _

"Hey, mech," he said.

"Are you a-all right?" I asked, though he obviously wasn't. He had a couple of deep painful dents and they hadn't given him any energon.

"Sure," Searchlight said.  _ They're going to kill me. That glitched senator showed up last orn after they locked me up and he told me they were going to get rid of me. _

"We're going to get you out."

"Okay," Searchlight said.  _ Thanks. You'd better hurry, though. I don't know how long it's going to be, but he seemed really serious.  _ "Thanks."

I wasn't sure what to say. He was still smiling slightly, but I didn't think I'd ever seen him more afraid.

"So did you come by yourself?" he asked.  _ We have to keep talking. _

"Yeah. We found out where y-you'd gone, bu-u-ut they wouldn't let u-us visit la-ast orn."

"Oh," Searchlight said, feeling a little disappointed.  _ Too bad. That's fine, though. And watch that stutter, mech. Calm down a little.  _ "Okay… well, tell Breeze I love her next time you see her."  _ It's probably better she didn't come down here and see me like this. Primus, if she showed up, I'd probably break down and start crying like a sparkling. Oh, Primus, they're really going to kill me…  _ "And…" He took a few deep vents to calm himself. "And tell Ratchet he's got the best aim with a wrench I've ever seen. He ought to get a good exasperated huff or optic-roll out of that. He might even demonstrate said skill by throwing that thing at you."

I felt like my spark chamber was shrinking and twisting. "We're going to get you out of here," I promised him again.

"I know you are," he said with a smile that was a little more real.  _ Of course you are.  _ "So, you talked to that teacher, right? Cablereach's friend?"  _ Are you going to trust him? _

"Yes."

"Good. It'll be good to know at least one teacher already before you get into the academy."  _ I don't know if I have anything else you need to know. The senator's designation is Ratbat. He's a real fragging glitch. And yeah, I think he was serious when he told me they were going to execute me for treason. Oh, Soundwave, I can't tell you how good it is to see you here. I didn't think I was going to get to talk to you again. If this goes badly, tell Breeze and my creators that I'm sorry. _

I nodded.

He let out a little, shaky laugh.  _ What to say…  _ "You think this'll mess up my career?"

"Probably," I said.

"Primus, I'm an idiot, aren't I?"

"Definitely."

_ I'm so sorry for all this trouble. I know it's my own fault.  _ "I just couldn't keep my lip plates shut."

"It'll be fine," I said. "We'll figure so-omething out."

Searchlight nodded. "Thanks," he said again.  _ If anyone can get me out of this mess, it's you. _

I looked down.

"In any case," Searchlight said. "Tell Ratchet I'm sorry too, and thank him for putting up with all my slag."

"You can do it yourself, once yo-ou're out of here."

Searchlight nodded. "Yeah. Sorry if I sound kind of… It's just been awful down here. I feel like I've been here forever, and it's only been… not even an orn."  _ I just want to make sure, 'Wave, if I don't come out of this, that you tell them I'm sorry. Tell them I'm so, so sorry, and that I need them to be happy and keep going, and Primus, I don't know what I'd want you to tell Breeze. _

"Not much longer," I promised. "Don't worry."

The guard checked his internal timepiece. We still had half a breem.

"Time's up," he said anyway, and glared at me, daring me to contradict him. "Can you find your way out?"

I nodded.

The guard pulled Searchlight roughly away from the energy field and shoved him toward the door.

"Hey, 'Wave," Searchlight called over his shoulder. "Good luck… with getting into the Academy and everything."  _ Don't worry, mech, I know you can get me out of here. _

They left the room, but I could still hear him.

_ I know you can do that, or anything else you… _

And then he was out of range.

As soon as I was out of the prison, I sprinted away across the city, back to Perceptor's house. He wasn't there so I went to his office, but he wasn't there either. I walked back outside and commed Cablereach. The sun dome was on now, but classes wouldn't have started quite yet.

Cablereach answered quickly.  _ "Yes? Did you get in to talk to him?" _

_ "Yeah,"  _ I said.  _ "He's in trouble. He said…"  _ I trailed off.

_ "What?" _

_ "He said he thinks they're going to kill him. He said the senator came back and threatened him." _

Cablereach was silent for a few astroseconds.  _ "Okay,"  _ he said eventually.  _ "Stay calm. It's probably not that bad…" _

_ "He seemed certain." _

More silence.  _ "Okay. I will take the orn off, and be there in half a joor. Are you with Perceptor?" _

_ "I can't find him." _

_ "I'll give you his comm. code,"  _ Cablereach said.  _ "He might have some idea what to do about this. I can't believe this…" _

He sent the code, and I commed Perceptor.

The professor didn't answer, so I tried again. He probably didn't recognize my code. I stood just outside the building his office was in and tried a third time.

Finally, he answered.  _ "Yes? I'm very busy at the moment…" _

_ "Perceptor, this is Soundwave,"  _ I said.  _ "I talked to my friend and he said they're going to execute him for treason and Cablereach gave me your codes and said to contact you. We need to do something now or…" _

_ "Slow down,"  _ Perceptor said.  _ "Calm down. You're right, this is not good at all… give me a breem _ — _ I can't leave what I'm doing right now, and there's not much I could do anyway…" _

I took a deep vent and looked down at the ground while the silence stretched out for astroseconds.

_ "If his life is really in danger, then we don't have time to jump through the legal hoops,"  _ Perceptor said.  _ "I can only think of one thing. You need to find Alpha Trion and explain the situation to him. He can get your friend out of jail before it’s too late." _

Alpha Trion, that mech from the orn before—the one whose processor I couldn't read. He was the last mech on the planet I wanted to explain anything to.

_ "I don't know where he is, but the Hall of Records is a good bet. I'll meet you there as soon as I can." _

_ "Okay,"  _ I said, and Perceptor cut the comm.

The thought of hunting Alpha Trion down and asking him to help made me feel physically ill, but I could not put this off. I transformed and flew across campus and to the Hall of Records. I wasn't really sure where I could find Alpha Trion because the building was enormous, but if he was in charge, someone would know where his office was. I landed on the front steps and walked in.

I found a desk behind which one of the curators of the library sat. He looked up as I approached.

"Can I help you with anything, young mech?" he asked.

"I need to talk to Alpha Trion. Do you know where he might be?"

The mech shook his helm. "I'm sure one of the clerks can help you find anything you need."

"No," I said. "I have to talk to Alpha Trion. One of the professors at the Academy, Perceptor, sent me with a-a message for him." Which was essentially true.

The curator wasn't sure whether or not to believe me, "Well," he said, "I don't know where he is any more than you do. He may not even be here."  _ I could direct this mech to his office, but I don't think Alpha Trion would like that very much. _

I sighed.

"What was the message? I can pass it on…"

"Never mind," I said, and walked away. But I knew where the mech's office was.

The archives were a maze, and I got lost and turned around so many times I nearly gave up. I finally found the office, though. I couldn't hear anyone in there, but I realized that didn't necessarily mean he was gone. I requested entry.

And waited.

Nothing.

I tried again.

The mech in the next office over heard the chime faintly through the wall and looked up from his work.  _ Is that from Alpha Trion's office? Is someone looking for him? _

I stepped back from the door as the next one over opened, and the mech came out into the hallway.

"Hello," he said, studying me with bright, blue optics. "Can I help you with something? If you're looking for Alpha Trion, he just left ten breems ago."

I looked down.

"Were you looking for him?" The mech was honestly concerned. "Maybe I can help—I'm his assistant."

I nodded. "Do you know where he went?"

"He didn't tell me."

"I needed to talk to him. Perceptor sent me. It's… urgent."

_ An urgent message… okay… _ "I can comm. him for you. What is this about?"  _ He seems upset.  _ "Are you all right?"

I shook my helm. "Never mind," I said. I had been gathering the resolve to tell Alpha Trion about the situation. I didn't want to explain it to this overly-helpful, self-satisfied librarian.

"I will comm. Alpha Trion," the mech said. "You can sit in my office to wait. He might take a while to respond, though he usually answers me."

I followed the mech into his office and sat down by the side of the room. Cablereach commed me, and I put a finger to my helm and answered.  _ "Are you here?" _

_ "Yes, I'm in Iacon. Where are you?" _

_ "The Hall of Records. Perceptor sent me to find Alpha Trion, but he's not here." _

_ "Alpha Trion? I didn't even think of that, but yes, he'd definitely be able to get Searchlight out. I'll comm. Perceptor and then maybe meet you in the Hall of Records in ten to fifteen breems." _

_ "Okay,"  _ I said.

_ "Hang in there. This is going to work out."  _ Cablereach cut the comm.

Alpha Trion's assistant sent him an internal comm. explaining that Perceptor had sent someone with an urgent message for him, and then turned his attention back to me. "I understand if you can't tell me what Perceptor sent you for, but it might help for me to know."

I didn't respond. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear his reaction. He'd probably be very sympathetic and concerned, but those emotions never did anyone any good, and right now Searchlight was sitting in a cell somewhere, aching from untreated injuries and waiting for them to come and carry out Ratbat's death sentence.

"What's your designation?"  _ It's hard to tell anything about him since I can't see his faceplate. I guess he could be a drone… _

"Look," I said. "A friend o-of mine is in danger. I'm not in the-e mood to talk."

The mech stared for a moment, then looked away. "I apologize," he said. "I'll keep trying to reach Alpha Trion for you."

"Thank you."

By the time Perceptor and Cablereach had shown up, Alpha Trion still hadn't answered his comm. Perceptor explained the situation to Alpha Trion's assistant while Cablereach asked me for more details about my conversation with Searchlight.

And then finally,  _ finally  _ Alpha Trion's assistant got a comm.

"He's answering," the mech said, and put a hand to his helm and activating his external comm. "Thank you!"

_ "I sincerely hope this is important, Orion. I had to leave a Council session—I've  _ told  _ you they get up to mischief when I'm not there." _

The assistant explained the situation briefly. The rest of us sat in silence, waiting.

After he was finished, I heard Alpha Trion sigh.  _ "I saw that argument last orn, and I suppose I should have been more concerned. Well, the meeting just started and Ratbat's in the Council Hall right now. If he was offended enough to threaten to kill this mechling, he probably wants to be present for the execution. We have some time to sort this out. Iacon Third detention center, did you say?" _

"Yes," Alpha Trion's assistant said.

_ "All right. You can stay there, I don't want you involved in something like this. Tell Perceptor and whoever else to meet me at the detention center." _

"Thank you."

Alpha Trion cut the comm. His assistant smiled at us. "He says you can meet him at the detention center. He'll get your friend out."

Cablereach let out a deep sigh of relief. "Thank Primus. Let's go."

We got there just half a breem before Alpha Trion did. Again, it felt strange to have a mech in my range who I couldn't hear. "Good orn," he said. "Come, let's resolve this. I need to get back to the Council Hall."

He led the way inside and up to the front desk.

"Anything I can help you with, sir?"  _ Another Senator, just like earlier. I don't know what's going on and I probably don't want to. _

"I have a form here for the release of a prisoner," Alpha Trion handed the femme a datapad. "If you could process that within the next five breems, I'd be very appreciative."

"Yes, sir," the femme said, and started pulling things up on her computer. "Would you like to wait here, or…"

"How about we take some guards and go fetch that prisoner ourselves," Alpha Trion said.

"Of course," the femme sent a quick comm. and a couple of guards came in. Alpha Trion gave them instructions, and they started leading us through the prison.

Brushing minds with the prisoners in the cells we walked past was not pleasant, but I focused on the fact that we were going to go get Searchlight out of here. This was finally going to be over. Finally. 

Breeze and Ratchet were never going to let him live this down.

The guards knew when we were getting close to his cell. I waited anxiously for my range to reach his processor, but it didn't. 

There was no one in that cell.

We reached the door and stopped. The guards were baffled.

"He's supposed to be in this one," one of them said, checking a datapad. "Searchlight. Public disturbance and… treason…"

"Treason?" Alpha Trion asked, one optic ridge raised. "Really?"

"He's supposed to be here. Hang on," the guard commed a superior. "One of the prisoners isn't in his cell. It's cell number delta-eight-one…"

_ "I'll check the log… uh… yeah, it looks like the prisoner in that cell was taken out for execution a little less than a joor ago." _

I froze.

"Oh…" the guard said.

No.

"What?" Alpha Trion asked.

"I… uh…" the guard said. "Can you double check that?"

_ "That's what the log says." _

"Well, I'm supposed to release him… There's a  _ High Councilmech  _ here."

_ "Well… it looks like he was executed by order of the Council. Pretty serious stuff. All the files check out too. Treason, that sort of thing." _

No.

"Okay," the guard said. "Alpha Trion, Sir, I'm afraid this prisoner's already been um…"

"Released?" Cablereach said, daring to hope.

"No," the guard said. "Executed."

Dead silence.

"What!" Cablereach said. "That can't be…"

"I'm sure we can get you the relevant files and confirmation," The guard said.  _ I'm going to lose my job. Frag it, it's not my fault this happened, I'm just a guard. _

"I would like that," Alpha Trion said coldly. "Very much."

"That can't be right," Cablereach said. "He's just a student, there's no way, just…"

"Cablereach," Perceptor put a hand on his shoulder.  _ Don't make a scene… _

Cablereach looked down.  _ No… _

"I am so sorry," The guard said. "If there was some sort of mix-up..."

"I doubt that," Alpha Trion said. "Now, would you mind showing us the way out?"

"Of course."

No.

This couldn't be happening.

_ I can't believe this. I can't believe it, I can't  _ believe  _ it, this has to be a mistake, they can't have already... Primus, Soundwave...  _ Cablereach looked in my direction and I turned away from him slightly. I wished he'd just stop thinking.

This couldn't be real. I'd just talked to him, a joor and a half ago. That meant... it couldn't have been much more than twenty breems between our conversation and when they'd come for him. My processor put the pieces together for me. By the time I'd finally gotten to talk to Perceptor, it had already been too late. Alpha Trion had left to go sit on the Council just before I got to the Hall of Records. Ratbat must have been here before that. If I had been faster… if I'd done something faster...

We walked back the way we'd come. I didn't want to leave yet. There had to be something we could do... Maybe it wasn't too late.

A whole joor ago? Yes, that was too late.

I felt cold.

"Are you sure?" Cablereach said once we'd reached the front desk again. "Are you absolutely sure of this? That he wasn't just… I don't know, moved to another cell?"

"We can go check the records." The femme there said. "I'm sorry, I saw it about half a breem after you walked away. I should have commed."

Searchlight had told me they were going to kill him. He had told me to hurry. I had tried, but I hadn't been fast enough.

I followed them out of the building, listening as Perceptor and Cablereach acknowledged within themselves, that this had happened. That we were too late. That Searchlight had been executed,  _ executed  _ just for standing up in a Council meeting and speaking his mind.

Alpha Trion, of course, was like a blank wall, and he never lost his cold, emotionless glare, which I couldn't interpret. "I am truly sorry," he said once we were outside. "I will look into this further, when I have time. You should have told me about it last orn."

"I know," Perceptor said.  _ I was worried, but I didn't realize just how serious it was. I should have said something… _

"Well, I must return to the Council Hall."

"Of course," Perceptor said.

Alpha Trion walked away, leaving us standing outside of the detention center.

Cablereach felt numb, lost. 

I wasn't sure how I felt. Searchlight had done stupid, dangerous things his whole life. Five vorns was a long time in which to do stupid dangerous things. We had joked about him getting himself killed but…

We hadn't meant it. We hadn't thought it would happen.

We hadn't thought it was possible.

"Primus..." Cablereach said.

"There was no legality to that," Perceptor said. "By our laws, you can't execute anyone without a trial."  _ Perhaps Alpha Trion can do something… but they're so good at covering their tracks. I suspect they already have a false set of records in the system. _

Cablereach shook his helm.

"Justice is a thing of the past," Perceptor said sadly. "I'm so sorry I didn't take this more seriously."

"It isn't your fault," Cablereach vented in deeply, suddenly feeling angry. "We can't... We can't let the Council get away with this sort of thing."

Perceptor looked up at him. "No," he said. "There's nothing you can do. Please, Cablereach, don't put yourself in danger. If you recall, we aren't even supposed to know he was arrested. If they find out you know, they'll want to know how. They'll investigate you and the guards at the Council Hall and your students..." he looked at me.

_ He's right. I'd be putting Soundwave in danger.  _ Cablereach sighed.  _ I still can't believe this. _ "Let's… let's go home."

We would have to tell Searchlight's creators. We'd have to tell Breeze and Ratchet. I would have to tell Breeze and Ratchet.

We couldn't go back without Searchlight.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do," Perceptor said.

Cablereach nodded, and he and I went one way while Perceptor went the other.

He'd told me he knew I could save him. He’d believed I could save him.

I didn't want to go back to the school, but I followed Cablereach toward the groundbridge station. "Shouldn't we go on the mass transit?" I asked. "It's cheaper." My words felt hollow, empty, strange, like it was someone else saying them.

Cablereach hesitated. "If you want to."

I nodded.

So we got tickets for that instead and I had joors to listen to the mechs around me think about their own lives and their own troubles. I wished Cablereach would go away and stop thinking about Searchlight.

He turned to me as we finally pulled into the station in Kalis. "Soundwave?"

I didn't move.

"I'll talk to Graycharter and comm. Searchlight's creators. Would you like me to tell Ratchet and Breeze too?"

I shook my helm.

"Would you like to tell them then?"

I didn't move. No, I did not want to tell them. The more mecha who knew, the more real this was. But I had an obligation to do so. I had failed. This was my responsibility. Searchlight had trusted me to get him out. I knew it wasn't my  _ fault,  _ but I should have been able to prevent it.

"I'll let you think about it," Cablereach said. "But if you don't want to, then let me know and I'll do it, all right? I'm so…"  _ I don't know what to say... _

We walked to the school. Classes were done by that time, so I knew I'd find Breeze and Ratchet in Searchlight's room with my symbionts. I walked slowly, trying to decide how I was going to word this, and disgusted with myself because I cared about the wording. And I hated myself for being the one to tell them, as little sense as that made.

I got to the room and stood outside the closed door, listening. Breeze was doodling on her datapad, sketching Frenzy while he watched eagerly from a position on her shoulder. In the sketch, he was staring out of the page, helm tilted to the side, and with a deeply perplexed look on his faceplate.

Ratchet was sitting with Ravage in his lap, studying and worrying.

"Can you draw Rumble too?" Frenzy asked.

"I can draw him next if you want."

"Could you draw both of us on the same picture?"

"I could do that."

"And Ravage and Laserbeak too?"

"Sure."

"And Soundwave?"

"Him too. I could draw all of you sitting on him."

"Could you put Ratchet and Searchlight and you in too? And Searchlight's creators and Cablereach?"

"That's getting a little crowded," Breeze said.

"Can you even draw you? You can't see yourself."

"I can see myself in a mirror. And I can see pictures of myself," Breeze said. "So I can draw myself. Here, what do you think?" She held up the finished sketch.

"Does it look like me?"

"Haven't you ever looked in a mirror, silly? Of course it looks like you. It looks exactly like you."

I put the code in to unlock the door. I had to do it eventually.

Everyone in the room looked up at me.

"No luck?" Ratchet asked, noticing I didn't have Searchlight with me.

I stood, silent, in the doorway.

"Soundwave?" Breeze said, suddenly worried. "What is it?"  _ Is Searchlight okay? Oh, Primus, tell me he's all right. _

"He's de-ead," I said. Curse that stutter, why did it have to come back now?

"What!" Ratchet said. Breeze just stared.

"What?" Frenzy echoed.

"We-e would ha-a-ave gotten him out, but we-e we-e-ere too late." I told them.

"No…" Breeze stood.  _ He can't be joking can he? No… no… nonononono… _

"I'm so-o-orry," I whispered and turned to walk away. I wanted to be anywhere but here right now, listening to them realize Searchlight was gone.

"Wait!" Breeze said. "Soundwave are you really…"

"He's dead," I said again. Flat, emotionless. No stutter.

Dead. Searchlight was dead.

I felt Breeze crumble inside. I heard Ratchet freeze—helpless, silent, unbelieving. I turned and walked away to my room, where I could lock the door and sit on my berth alone. No one came to talk to me. They knew better.

* * *

The next orn dawned. I did not want to get off my berth, but I had to make sure my symbionts were all right. I'd left them in Searchlight's room with Ratchet. I got up and went there. Ratchet was still at his desk, curled up and recharging with Ravage draped over him, humming protectively. 

"Soundwave!" Frenzy shouted.

"Hush," I said, but it was too late. Ratchet came online and sat up. I gathered up Rumble and Frenzy, and Laserbeak flew over and clung to my back.

"Soundwave?" Ratchet said.

I didn't answer him, just left. Ravage leaped off of Ratchet and bounded after me.

Ratchet realized that we had six breems before classes started and panicked for a moment, then remembered why he was curled up in his chair and not on his berth. I walked out of range of him.

I left my symbionts in my room. School was the last thing I wanted to deal with right now, but I also didn't want to sit with my own thoughts all orn, so I got up and dragged myself to class, coming in just before the late bell rang and sitting in the very back of the room. I usually tried to sit near the front so I could hear the teacher's thoughts.

"Everyone," she said. "There's going to be an assembly this orn, before classes."

The students around me were confused. The teacher looked at me, and I didn't need to read her processor to know what the assembly was about. The class stood and joined the rest of the school headed toward the auditorium.

I found Ratchet and went to sit by him. We saved a spot for Breeze, but she didn't show up. The headmaster was up on the stage, talking quietly to an official-looking mech I hadn't seen before.

"Do you think this is about…" Ratchet said.

I nodded.

"I can't believe this," Ratchet said.  _ Six orns ago we were here. We were here with Searchlight watching everyone's presentations. Primus, he's gone…  _ Ratchet put his helm in his arms. They'd gone to ask Cablereach for more details after I'd locked myself in my room, so he knew what had happened. I watched the mechs at the front of the room, wondering vaguely how the school was going to react to this. The news that he'd got into a shouting match with a senator had gone around the school. No one had been very surprised, though there had been a good deal of worry over the fact that no one had seen him since then.

When everyone was gathered and seated, the headmaster got up. He stood, waiting for quiet perhaps, but he didn't call the room to order. Eventually, we all stopped talking. There was an unconscious tension in the atmosphere.

"Everyone," the headmaster said. "There is some unfortunate news I have to share with you this orn." A low swell of whispers filled the room, then died out when the headmaster raised a hand. "One of your fellow students has been offlined in a terrible accident."

An accident?

"Who?" someone up near the front demanded, but many of the mech in my range had guessed.

"Searchlight."

Another, slightly angry whisper swelled through the crowd and died out as everyone realized the implications of that.

"I know he was well known and well liked," the headmaster said. "I hope all of you will comfort each other as we mourn his passing."

Ratchet took in a deep shaky vent of atmosphere and shuttered his optics.

_ An accident? _

_ That's too much of a coincidence. _

_ What kind of accident? _

"Please also be very considerate to his closer friends. If any of you need someone to talk to, the teachers and counselors are always willing to listen."

Searchlight had been going to throw a party at the end of the term and invite the whole school. Everyone had already been looking forward to it. They'd been excited about it.

"It's a great tragedy," The headmaster said solemnly and deliberately, and maybe even with a bit of anger in his voice. "That someone so full of life and bright of spark should have been offlined in such a way. I encourage all of you to remember him, and continue to function in his absence. It is only natural for us to mourn…"

But the atmosphere in the room was mixed with fear now as well. They had heard of the government making mecha disappear, but none of them—at least none in my range—had actually witnessed it happen before.

The headmaster shook his helm as if not sure what to say. The room was so silent you could have heard a bolt drop in the back if you'd been right in front of the stage.

The official-looking mech came up by the headmaster. "This probably comes as somewhat of a shock to you all," he said calmly. "And we are terribly sorry for your loss. At this tragic time…" He trailed off, frowning into the audience.

A student was standing. Everyone's vents stilled as Shockwave spoke.

"Can you tell us the details of the accident?" he asked.

The official nodded. "He crashed in alt mode. Unusual, but it does happen sometimes, and it can be fatal for fliers."

"I was there," Shockwave said.

Wheeljack, sitting next to him, looked to be on the brink of grabbing him and pulling him back down.

"You were?" the official said. "You witnessed this?"

"I just want to know where we stand," Shockwave said. "If I don't sit down and keep my lip plates shut, will there be another accident?"

The official's faceplate didn't change at all. "Accidents are unpredictable," he said. "They can happen to anyone."

Shockwave nodded, and let Wheeljack drag him back into his seat.

For the rest of the assembly, adults talked about how tragic it was that Searchlight was dead, and how we should all remember him and help each other grieve. It didn't last that long, and then we were sent back to our classes. Cablereach was waiting for us at the door, and pulled us aside.

"The headmaster wants to talk to you two," he said. "And do you know where Breeze is?"

"Probably in her room," Ratchet said.

"Would you go get her and take her with you to the headmaster's office?"

"Will that government idiot be there?" Ratchet said, "Because I might just try to kill him."

"No," Cablereach said. "He will not. It'll just be Graycharter."

"All right," Ratchet said.  _ Come on, let's go get Breeze. _

I let Ratchet lead the way to Breeze's room. She was sitting with her helm on the desk, staring at nothing, thinking about painting, and wishing she was dead. She looked up when Ratchet requested entry, and then very nearly decided not to open the door. But after a few astroseconds, she got up slowly and pushed away from her desk to come over and let us in.

"Hi Ratchet, Soundwave…" she said quietly.

"The headmaster apparently wants to talk to us," Ratchet said.

_ I don't want to talk to anyone.  _ "Okay."  _ I just feel awful… I don't even know if I'm mourning for Searchlight or if I just feel awful, oh, Primus, Searchlight…  _ She crossed her arms and took a few deep vents, then followed us out of the room, doorwings drooping and optics down.

We walked to the headmaster's office together. He was waiting for us. He was worried about us.

"How are you three holding up?" he asked.  _ Oh dear, that was a bad question. _

Breeze shuddered, then buried her faceplate in her hands. Ratchet glared at the headmaster, then nearly broke as well. I hesitated, then very carefully put an arm around Breeze's shoulders. She leaned in to me and sobbed on my shoulder.

"I am so sorry," The headmaster said. "For all of this."  _ I don't really know what to tell them.  _ "I'm sure you don't want to think about finals right now. I wouldn't either. I'm going to make an exception for you three in that regard. You can take your finals when you're ready, up to the beginning of next term. I can make arrangements for you to go home, or you can continue to stay here. Think about it and let me know, all right?"

Ratchet nodded for all three of us.

"Is there anything we can do for you?"

"I… don't think so," Ratchet said.

"All right," the headmaster said. "Again, I'm so sorry."

We left his office again. Breeze broke off to go to her room. I was a little worried about her and I knew Searchlight would want me to make sure she was all right, so I went back to my room for my symbionts.

"Rumble, Frenzy," I said.

"Yes?" Rumble asked quietly.

"Can you do something for me?"

Frenzy nodded, and Rumble crossed his arms.

"I'd like you two to keep Breeze company for now."

"Breeze?" Frenzy said.

I took in a deep vent. "She… she's really sad about Searchlight. I want you to keep her company. She sho-o-ouldn't be alo-one right now."

"Okay," Frenzy said.

I picked them up and Laserbeak flew over and clung to my back. Ravage followed us, feeling gloomy. We walked to Breeze's room and I requested entry. Breeze made herself stop crying before she opened the door. I didn't talk, just let the twins down and walked away again. Breeze was a little confused, but I knew she didn't really want to be by herself, and they would take care of her.

I dropped Ravage off at Ratchet's room as well, and then headed toward the stairs so I could go down to the first floor.

_ I hope you know you are not leaving me somewhere,  _ Laserbeak thought. I didn't answer her, just kept walking. I left the school—I didn't want other mecha right now. I wanted to be alone. If Laserbeak wasn't going to leave, that was all right, but I needed silence.

I went to Crescent's house. She wasn't there—she was away on a trip of some sort—so I was well and truly alone. I locked myself in my room and with no one for a witness, I wept. And I waited for someone to tell me it was all a dream, and they'd found Searchlight and that he was all right. But the longer I waited, the more certain I was that that wasn't going to happen and that no matter how hard I begged Primus for another chance, Searchlight wasn't coming back.

  
  



	48. Begin Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, we time-jumped about a quarter of a vorn.

I didn't react to the entry request at my door. I knew who it was and I wasn't sure whether I wanted to let him in.

The twins were making a mess of my desk, knocking things over and hitting each other with datapad styluses. They paused in their game to look at me.

_ Are you going to get that?  _ Rumble wondered.

_ Who is it?  _ Frenzy asked.

I sighed and got up to let Cablereach in.

I didn't look at him.

"Soundwave."

He couldn't tell whether I was looking at him.

"Can we talk?"

I nodded once. He sat in a chair by the side of the room.  _ How are you doing? We haven't heard from you for a long time. Even Ratchet and Breeze haven't heard from you. _

I didn't answer.

"Soundwave, they miss you," Cablereach said.

Searchlight had made us promise to stay in touch. Breeze and Ratchet had tried. Breeze, though, had gone back to Praxus and Ratchet was busy with school. I hadn't heard from either of them for decaorns.

"I was wondering if you're ready to come back." Cablereach said. "The Academy is willing to allow you to take the entrance exams. The next term starts in a quartex."

Ratchet had already been there for a term.

"Well?" Cablereach asked.  _ Are you ready? Searchlight wouldn't want you to sit in your room and mope for the rest of your life. _

He wouldn't. I could imagine how he'd react to hearing how long I'd been at Crescent's house. " _ Really, 'Wave? Come on, get up. I am not letting you stay here forever. What the pit do you think that's going to accomplish?" _

"Soundwave?"

"A-all right."

_ Oh no, don't tell me the stutter's back.  _ “Good. So, can I schedule you to take the entrance exams?"

I nodded.

"How's your range?"

It wasn't large enough to be a problem yet. "Fine."

_ I'm so sorry about what happened. I don't know what we should have done, but I still feel like we could have prevented it if I was taking it more seriously. Please don't let my mistake destroy you. You have to move forward if you want to recover. _

I didn't move. Eventually, he stood up. "I'll send you the information about when and where the exams will be. Good luck," he said, then left.

Ravage, who'd been curled up on my berth, hopped up onto my shoulders and rubbed his helm against the side of mine. I reached up absently and stroked the plating behind his audios.

I wasn't sure I was ready to go back to Iacon. I wasn't sure I was ready to leave my room, much less go back to the place where it had happened. Crescent and I had mostly ignored each other this past quarter of a vorn. So long as I kept the twins in my room and didn't bother her, she didn't care if I was here.

It had been decaorns since I'd set pede out of the house. My symbionts missed the sun, but they never complained. The twins were still a little rowdy, but they were mostly well-behaved when I was there, and I was making very slow progress teaching Frenzy to read. Rumble knew how already. Laserbeak had picked it up right away too and if I used a large enough datapad, she could type messages with her claws. She enjoyed being able to communicate with Ravage.

_ Are we going to leave Crescent's house if you do what Cablereach wants?  _ Ravage wondered.

I nodded.

_ Are you going to do it? _

I hesitated, then nodded again.

* * *

The city was no more or less golden than the last time I had been here, but this time clouds hung over the sky in a thin haze that blocked the light from the sun dome and dulled the shine of the towers and pillars. I had left all of my symbionts at Crescent's house with firm instructions to stay in my room. Crescent wasn't there, but if they got out and made a mess, she'd find out about it and probably kick us out of the house. I was out of secondary school now, so she was legally allowed to do so.

Not that we needed to worry about that for much longer. If I got into the Academy, I would be living in Iacon.

I followed the directions I'd been given and crossed campus. Perceptor had scheduled me an individual exam, an orn before the general entrance exams started, so it wasn't crowded.

I was given the test and asked to sit in a room full of empty desks and chairs. A faculty member watched me, thinking about her plans for the next off-cycle. I'd forgotten how distracting mecha could be and wasted time wondering how I'd ever put up with having at least half a dozen in my helm all the time before.

I was relatively sure about most of my answers on the test. There was a surprisingly large section that was just spitting out facts. If you'd bothered to learn these things, you should have no trouble recalling it unless there was something glitched in your data recalling functions or memory storage.

It took me most of two joors to finish the test. The femme watching me was surprised—apparently it normally took longer—but she calmly accepted my test and told me I could go. I wouldn't know whether I'd made it until after they gave the general entrance exam and could choose from all the applicants.

I left. I didn't leave Iacon yet, though. Cablereach had told me that Perceptor wanted to see me when I came, so I walked over to the science building.

As I approached Perceptor's office, I recognized another mind I knew. It was dizzying and disorienting listening to his thoughts and I hesitated and almost turned away. Then again, part of me wouldn't mind seeing a familiar faceplate. I requested entry at the door and Perceptor let me in.

"…but if you modified the…" Wheeljack trailed off as he saw me. "Soundwave?"

I nodded and came in.

"Hey!" Wheeljack grinned. "How have you been? I haven't seen you for ages!"

"Did you take the entrance exam?" Perceptor asked.

I nodded.

"So you're coming to the Academy?" Wheeljack said. "That's awesome!" _ I should go get Ratchet.  _ "Where were you?"  _ He could have come last term… I think Ratchet said it had something to do with Searchlight. Primus, that was awful. I still remember that. None of us are ever going to forget that. It really affected Shockwave too. _

"Wheeljack," Perceptor said. "Thank you for coming to talk with me. May I speak to Soundwave in private now? There are a few things I need to discuss with him."

"Sure," Wheeljack said.  _ I'll go find Ratchet. He'll be in the Hall of Records, probably. I hope they don't kick me out of there before I can talk to him.  _ "Good to see you again, Soundwave." He darted out the door and closed it behind himself.

"Well," Perceptor said. "How was the test?"

"Okay," I said.

_ Seeing your other scores, at least the ones that you got when you were allowed to take tests on your own, I'd expect you to do well enough. _

I had to ask. "Why is the-e-re a fact re-ecalling section that's so long?"

"Hmmm? On the exam?"  _ Cablreach said he was worried about the stutter coming back. _

I nodded.

"I am unsure. It does seem a little pointless, doesn't it? Perhaps it's to make sure you've had enough previous education."  _ That would make it impossible for anyone who'd gone to a low-end public school to pass that section, which is unfair, but that's not the worst thing that goes on here _ . "Can we measure your range? I want to see how much it's grown since we spoke last."

I nodded.

"Do you think that you would be comfortable in the dorms with the level that it's at?"

I hesitated, then shook my helm.

"If you would like, you can rent a room in my house," Perceptor said. "I normally don't allow students to do that, but you are a bit of a special case. Does that sound agreeable?"

I nodded.

_ So long as I ask him yes and no questions, he's not going to use his voice, is he? _

No, I wasn't.

"Does your range go beyond my office?"

I nodded.

"Then we'll need to go out into the hall."  _ Tell me when you can't hear my thoughts anymore. _

We tested my range and calculated how fast it had been growing on average, then tried to estimate how long we had before I needed surgery again unless I could figure out how to control it. He had several things he wanted me to try.

Then we went back into his office and spoke for a few breems. He told me he was fine with my symbionts coming so long as I kept them out of this workroom and the basement.

When we were done talking, I left. I doubted Wheeljack had been able to convince Ratchet to come talk to me, so I didn't feel too bad leaving now. It wasn't that I didn't want to see him, but I didn't want to listen to him thinking about what had happened to Searchlight. I'd had enough of that for one orn.

So I went back to Crescent's house.

* * *

The news came a two decaorns later that I'd been accepted. Crescent was relieved. She transferred enough credit to my account to get me through the Academy and told me never to come back to her house. I stood outside in the bright sunlight for a moment with all my symbionts clinging to me, and stared at my home of five vorns. It still felt like an unfamiliar place.

I wasn't really going to miss Crescent, but on some level maybe I was. Definitely more than she would miss me. Despite complaining about it constantly, she had always provided energon and a roof, and she had paid for expensive schools, and my alt mode, and now the Academy.

"Good riddance," Ravage said.

I nodded and turned to walk away.

We took a mass transit instead of a groundbridge. I nearly lost Frenzy out the window at one point and Rumble got sick about halfway through the trip, but it could have been worse. They enjoyed themselves for the most part. 

It was late when we got to Iacon, so I went straight to Perceptor's house. I'd messaged him with the news and so he wasn't surprised to see me.

"Hello, Soundwave," he said cheerfully. "Come in."

I followed him in and he led me to a relatively spacious room. "This room's the one you're renting. It's a bit bare, but you can decorate it however you like."

Ravage jumped off of my shoulders onto the desk.

_ That is one enormous symbiont. I suppose he must be pretty tame, but he's still a little intimidating. _

"Everyone," I said. "This is Perceptor."

They all looked at him.

He smiled nervously. "Hello."

"This is his house, so he-e's in charge. Perceptor, this is Ravage, Rumble, Fre-enzy, and Lase-erbeak."

Perceptor nodded. "Good to meet you."

"Do we have to stay in this room?" Frenzy asked.

"When I'm no-ot here, you do," I told him.

"It's bigger than your room at Crescent's house," Ravage noted with some satisfaction and crossed the desk so he could leap over to the berth. "I like it."

"Good," Perceptor said. "I'll let you settle in then. See you in the on-cycle."

"Thank you for le-etting me sta-ay here," I said. He had given me a room near the center of the house, and it was a large enough house that my range wouldn't reach the street outside for a long time, so I was actually going to have peace and quiet.

"You're very welcome," Perceptor said.  _ If I'm bothering you ever, let me know. _

I nodded, but his thoughts wouldn't bother me. He had a neat, orderly processor.

"Can we go exploring?" Frenzy asked.

"Next orn," I promised.

* * *

"Hey, Soundwave."

I came online slowly, wondering what time it was.

"Soundwave."

"Frenzy," I sat up "What is it?"

"I'm hungry."

I moaned and checked my internal clock. It was far too early for this. "Frenzy…"

"Is it next orn yet? Can we go exploring?"

I pulled a cube of energon out of subspace and held it so he wouldn't spill as he drank from it. Then I left it open on the desk. The others could share it when they came online.

"Can we go exploring? Please?"

"In a breem or so," I promised him. Ravage stretched and yawned and came over to drink from the open cube on the desk. Laserbeak woke as well and took a turn after him. Leaving a little in the bottom for Rumble.

Frenzy looked around. "Are we waiting for everyone to wake up?"

"Frenzy, don't…"

He ran over to Rumble. "Hey! Wake up!"

Rumble started, then sat up.

"Get up, we're going exploring!"

"You!" Rumble tackled him and both of them tumbled off the desk. I ducked down to catch them.

"Soundwave, he hit me," Frenzy said.

"You woke him up." I put Frenzy on one of my shoulders. "You should have known that would happen. Maybe if you say yo-ou're sorry for waking him up, he'll apologize for hi-i-itting you."

Frenzy considered that. "Sorry, Rumble." He said.

"Sorry," Rumble growled back.

"Can we go exploring now?" Frenzy asked.

We waited until Rumble had had his energon and then we went out to wander the rest of the house. Laserbeak flew ahead and Ravage walked at my side as we explored the first floor. They wanted to go up to the second floor and down to the basement, but I told them they couldn't and they knew arguing wasn't going to help.

Perceptor woke up and came down eventually. He showed me where the energon was and told me I could help myself to it.

I thanked him and took my symbionts back to my room.

"Does school start now?" Frenzy asked.

"No, but I want to go somewhere."

"When does school start?"

"Three orns."

"Aw," Frenzy said.  _ Are we going to Searchlights room after… oh, never mind.  _ "Sorry," he said.

"Don't be," I told him. "I'll be back in a few joors. Do not break a-any of Perceptor's furniture in here, okay?"

They nodded and I left them. I wanted to make sure I could find all the classes that I'd signed up for, and I also ought to go looking for Ratchet. Wheeljack had seemed to think he was often in the Hall of Records.

As I walked across campus I was reminded unpleasantly of the last time I'd been here, so I just located my classes and left quickly. I went to the Hall of Records and started looking for Ratchet. I even went so far as to expand my range to about twice its diameter. It wasn't really a problem because the archives weren't crowded.

I did find Ratchet eventually, talking to someone else who was familiar. I hesitated, then walked over to them.

The other mech noticed me first, and I heard him recognize me. Then Ratchet turned around, wondering what his friend was staring at.

"Soundwave!" Ratchet froze.  _ You're here. Well, way to show up out of nowhere. Where have you been? Wheeljack says you were here a few decaorns ago. _

I shrugged slightly.

_ He's that mech who… yes, I remember him.  _ Alpha Trion's assistant got up and took a few steps toward me. "It's good to meet you… we met previously, but those were not good circumstances and I don't think I introduced myself. I'm Orion Pax."

We shook hands. "Soundwave," I said.

He nodded.  _ I'd already heard about you from Ratchet.  _ "I heard what happened at the end of last quarter. I'm so sorry about your friend. Things like that shouldn't be allowed to happen."

I nodded. "Thank yo-ou." I knew he meant it.

"He said we should stay in touch," Ratchet said, still sitting at the table and facing away from me.  _ You wouldn't answer our messages. You wouldn't talk to us. _

"He didn't."

"Yes he did," Ratchet turned around. "He said we couldn't drift apart after secondary…"

"No, he didn't stay in touch," I said quietly. I had been prepared for this argument. "He died."

Ratchet glared at me.  _ How can you sound so calm about this? You're still moping and you sound so fragging calm, and you know what he would have wanted. He'd have wanted us to stick together. He'd have wanted the three of us to stay friends. It's like you and Breeze forgot that. _

"Maybe we do-on't want to be reminded."

_ I probably shouldn't be here.  _ "I can see you two need to talk. Ratchet, I'll be in my office for the rest of the orn if you need me."  _ We got some new records from Praxus this orn that I should decrypt and file.  _ He left.

"Who is he?" I asked. There was something unusual about him.

Ratchet shrugged. "A friend. He's an archivist, and a good mech."  _ Reminds me of Searchlight a little. Don't you dare be mad at me for making friends. _

"I'm not," I said, but it wasn't entirely the truth. No one could replace Searchlight, especially not some naïve library clerk.

"So you made the cut?"  _ You're in the Academy now? _

I nodded.

"Good," Ratchet said.  _ We never had all that much to talk about, not without Searchlight there. Oh, Primus, classes start again in a few orns. I need to be ready. _

Searchlight would have thought that was amusing, that Ratchet was already worrying about the start of next term, and the thought of that kept me from being amused. This was why I hadn't wanted to come see Ratchet before. All the same, it was surprisingly comfortable to have his thoughts in my processor again. It felt like being back in secondary school.

"So," Ratchet said. "How are your symbionts?"  _ How did they like being cooped up in your room all this time? _

"Fi-ine," I said.

_ His stutter's back. I wonder what that means. I guess it first came back just after… _

"We're okay," I insisted. "We're living at Perceptor's house by the way… do-o you know who he-e is?"

Ratchet nodded. "Science professor. Wheeljack's always talking about him."

"You're welcome to come and visit Ravage i-if you like."

Ratchet raised an optic ridge.  _ Soundwave, if I come to visit, I'll be visiting you. I don't dislike Ravage, but he's your cat. You're my friend. You are my friend, right? _

I nodded, not trusting my voice. Yes, of course I was Ratchet's friend. I would always be his friend.

"Good," Ratchet said.  _ Thank you. I know we wouldn't be friends if it weren't for Searchlight. I wouldn't have any friends at all if it weren't for him. _

I wasn't so sure about that, but I knew  _ I  _ wouldn't have had friends. We sat quietly for a breem and Ratchet started thinking about school again. I pondered about the Hall of Records instead. It had so much information. The whole history of Cybertron was here, in this place.

I got up and walked over to the nearest shelf. Ratchet wondered where I was going, but didn't care enough to ask.

I wanted to explore. Besides, I didn't want to leave the building. I had expanded my range to find Ratchet and I didn't want to brave the crowded streets until it was small enough again.

The Hall of Records was enormous, and full of knowledge and secrets. It was the most extensive library in the world, but possibly not the largest accessible collection of information. A large portion of material was off limits to anyone who wasn't a curator. I wasn't sure what was in those records or why they were secret. Since Alpha Trion was in charge, I figured either he or the government had made the restrictions.

I remembered suddenly that Perceptor had told me to ask Alpha Trion about telepaths. I didn't think I'd be able to, though. Even if I could find the elusive librarian—and my abilities wouldn't help me there—I didn't like him.

I could probably ask his assistant, though. I wondered how much access he had to the restricted levels of the Hall.

I went to Orion's office and hesitated a moment before requesting entry.

Orion opened the door. "Oh, hello again. Come in."  _ Guess I'll finish that later. _

I nodded and entered.

"So…" Orion said.

"I have a que-estion, actually."

"Okay."

"I was wondering if you know of any writings about telepaths."

"Telepaths?"  _ That's an odd subject.  _ "Like mecha who can read minds?"

I nodded.

_ Why does he want to know about them? I'm not sure if they even exist. I'm sure there are some theories and papers about them.  _ "I can probably find something. What exactly are you looking for?"

I shrugged. "I overheard Perceptor say that there used to be… be-e-efore the Quintesson wars."

"Really?"  _ I hadn't heard that.  _ "I didn't know that. I guess I can check and see. They aren't mentioned in most common history books, but I might be able to find some older records about them. I'll have to ask permission to show them to you, though. Some of those aren't available to public reading."

"Why?"

He shrugged, feeling uncomfortable.  _ Some of them have information that isn't safe to let just anyone look at. Old technology, Quintesson research…  _ "Most of it is simply not pertinent."  _ Also, I think the Council decided to take some information and records out… but that's different. That's them hiding their crimes. _

Anyone could have told that he was lying. But even if you couldn't, I always knew.

So they were hiding ancient technology and some Council records, and other things as well.

"Maybe I'll ask Alpha Trion about telepaths for you. He probably knows."

"Tha-at's all right." I didn't really want that mech to know I was looking. I couldn't trust him.

"I really can. It won't be a problem."  _ I wonder why he seems so hesitant… Is there some reason he doesn't  _ want  _ Alpha to know that he's looking for this? _

"Okay," I said. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He smiled slightly, pleased I was letting him help. "I don't know when Alpha Trion will be back, but I can promise I'll have spoken to him about it by next orn. If you want to come by some time next orn, I'm usually here or at least in the Hall.  _ He could come here and wait if I'm not here…but sometimes I'm not in the office for joors… I could leave a note  _ "I'll leave a note on the door to tell you where I'll be if I'm not here."

"Thanks," I said, and left.

Orion was still feeling pleased with himself for being helpful when I walked out of range of his thoughts.

I went home shortly after that. Perceptor's house had only been my place of residence for the past orn, but home was really wherever my symbionts were.

I brought them out into the front room so I could be with them while Perceptor and I talked.


	49. Friends

The next orn, I explored campus for a while and then went to the Hall of Records to talk to Orion. I was worried he wouldn't be in his office, but he was there.

In fact, he had just finished what he'd been working on when I walked in the door.

"Hi, Soundwave," he said. "Umm… I was just about to leave."

"Oh."

"Yes. I have a break for half a joor. But that's alright. I'm only going to get some energon. You can come with me and I'll tell you what I've discovered about telepaths on the way."  _ I found a lot of information. _

I hesitated. He seemed to have decided we were friends. We were not, but I did need to know about telepaths and if I refused I'd probably hurt his feelings. I wouldn't care, except that I'd be able to feel it too.

"I mean, if you'd rather not, we can talk for a few breems in here."  _ It shouldn't cut my break short by too much. _

"That's fine. I ca-an come back later."

"No, really," he said. "Just… just come with me."  _ It'll be nice to have someone to talk to on the way. _

"Fine," I said. He heard the unhappy tone of my voice, but felt confident that I'd enjoy talking about telepaths with him.

He walked past me out of the office and I followed him.

"So," he said. "There really were telepaths before the Quintesson wars. I found quite a few historical files and Alpha Trion said I could show them to you."  _ Except for the medical ones, of course.  _ "There was one, though, that was the most useful. This is an excerpt from a textbook from before the wars." He pulled a datapad out of subspace and handed it to me. I read the contents as we walked. It was surprising how much the information in it reminded me of myself—past the point of coincidence for certain.

"So…" Orion said at length.

"Do you know if all of thi-is is true?"

He shrugged. "No. There are some other things I read that I was not sure about. Did you know there is a legend stating that it was a telepath who first discovered you could modify a language package to give to a symbiont?"

I shook my helm.

"Before that, they couldn't speak," Orion said. "According to the legend. I guess they could probably learn to communicate, and of course they could think, so a telepath would be able to understand them. I wonder if we thought they weren't sentient before telepaths…"  _ That would have been awful for them. _

I wanted to see those medical files he wasn't allowed to show me. We got out of the Hall of Records. Maybe I could get them from his processor if I asked the right questions.

"Wouldn't that be overwhelming, to hear everyone's thoughts?" I said. "They must have had… a range at which they could hear."

"Yes," Orion said. "And supposedly, they could hear others' thoughts through walls and reach out to hear mecha a long ways away too. I'm not sure how far they could go. I mean, I wouldn't want to go too far. Imagine having an entire city in your helm."

I didn't need to imagine it. I had, for an instant once, before passing out. And he wasn't imagining it half as painful as it was.

"I wonder how they did that. Co-ontrolled it, I mean."

"The same way we walk, I suspect," Orion said. "Or change the setting on our pain grid. It's a mental control."

So I… no, the telepaths of old really could make their ranges shrink. That made sense anyway. Your pain grid drifted back to the default setting if you left it alone, just like my range drifted back to its default.

So the question now was whether the medic who'd made me a telepath had modeled me after these. If so then I really needed to see those medical files.

"It'd be interesting to know the differences in their processors. There had to be a reason they could read minds."

"You aren't going into medical research, are you?"  _ Ratchet said he was technology and computers. _

"Communications technology and computer science," I said. "Telepathy is interesting. We do have internal comms, and that's not much different except that I suppose a telepa-ath would hear e-every-ything."

"Yes," Orion said. "I wonder if comms originated from attempts to imitate telepathy. It's… I'm not sure what to think about the fact that there aren't any telepaths anymore. Alpha Trion said they died out during the Quintesson wars. Apparently they were especially susceptible to Quintesson reprogramming."

That was an unpleasant thought.

"I bet they mostly kept to their own, though. They had a city, like the seekers, that was just theirs."

"I wonder what made them di-ifferent," I said.

The medical files, which he'd skimmed but hadn't read, flashed through my processor. In the diagrams he had seen, I recognized some of the abnormalities that my medic had found.

Yes, this was what I was, or what I was modeled after.

We stopped at a little stall on the side of the street that was selling energon treats. The mech running it recognized Orion and felt a brief flash of bemused exasperation.

"Good orn, Backlash," Orion said.

"The usual, I suppose? Are you sure you won't let me give you a discount?" he asked, pulling out a very large bag of energon treats from under the counter. I had picked up from his processor that he had been expecting Orion, and that this was a regular occurrence.

How could he possibly eat all of that?

"No, that's all right," Orion handed him a little data chip and he scanned it and handed it back. "Thank you."

He barely thought about it as he subspaced the energon treats and kept walking. I picked up that he intended to give them away for the most part.

"Apparently, a lot of them had symbionts," Orion said. "And they treated them like full mecha, which was against the culture of the time. I found an essay written by a telepath condemning the way most governments treated them. You have symbionts, right?"

I nodded.

"Do you feel like they're… the same level of sentience that we are?"  _ They probably are. Or even if they aren't, they ought to have more rights. They're treated as property under our laws. _

"They're certainly different," I said. "But y-yes, they're se-entient."

He nodded. "I thought so. I think we treat them better now than we did back then, but I am certain there's still room for improvement."  _ I wonder at the morality of owning them… Not that it's wrong to take care of them, but… shouldn't they be free to make their own choices? _

No. Ravage would do all right on his own, and Laserbeak as well, but most symbionts couldn't make good enough decisions to survive on their own in our world. I didn't want to argue with him about that, though, so I didn't say anything.

_ I haven't seen any of his symbionts, but from what Ratchet says, he treats them well.  _ "How many do you have?"

I wasn't sure I liked the way this conversation was going. Not that I thought he'd make the connection and jump to any conclusion, but the fact was I did have a lot of symbionts, and I  _ was  _ a telepath and we'd been talking about telepaths and I didn't trust him... "Four."

"Four?"  _ That's a lot. I wonder how he has time for them… _

A youngling came into my range as he ran toward us.

"Orion!" he said.

"Hi, Rhombus," Orion smiled. "How are you doing?"

"Awesome," the youngling said. "The others and I played lobbing the other orn, and look!" He held up his pede to show an impressive dent.

"Ow," Orion said. "What did you use for a ball?"

"Glory's symbiont."

Lots of fun for the symbiont.

"That doesn't sound very nice," Orion said. "Is the symbiont ok?"

"He's got a shell he can hide in. He makes a great ball. Did you bring treats?"

Orion pulled one from subspace and handed it to him. "If you see anyone else tell them I'll be at Mac's, and to wait outside, because I'll only be a breem or so."

"Sure," Rhombus said, but followed him, talking cheerfully. Two more came out of a side street, saw us, and rushed over. A dirty-looking youngling dragging a tiny green femme sparkling behind him reached us. The sparkling pulled free of the youngling's grasp and latched on to Orion's leg. Orion stopped and smiled slightly. "Hello, Turbine, Iridia." The little femme looked up at him, smiling widely.

So he was keeping Iacon's urchin population well-stocked in candy. That was… a little ridiculous. I wondered what he was trying to accomplish with that.

"How are you two?" he asked.

_ I'm sick, but Iridia's okay.  _ The youngling thought. "We're good, Mr. Orion," he said.

"How's your femme creator. Doing better?"

The youngling nodded, then shuddered and his engine coughed a few times. Orion handed them both energon treats, and then kept walking. The little femme stoood on his pede, clinging to his leg as he walked and thoroughly enjoying herself.

A fledgling saw him from across the street and turned and ran in the other direction to go tell others.

"Where did you sa-ay we were going?" I asked.

"Oh. Maccadams," Orion said.

I hesitated. That place… if rumors were true, it was not the sort of place I'd expect someone like Orion go on his work break.

"Oh," he said, realizing what I must be thinking. "It's not… I mean, yeah it's kind of a shady place. I forget that sometimes. It's just I know the owner."

He knew the owner? Who  _ was  _ this mech?

"Yeah," Orion said.  _ Mac's great… I think I'm freaking Soundwave out, though.  _ "Don't worry. He's really nice."

The number of sparklings trailing after us increased. Orion called them all by designation and gave them all energon treats. In the end, I couldn't find any self-interested motivations in him. No need to be liked, or desire for anyone else to think he was a good person. Just pleasure at making them happy and a feeling of responsibility toward them because most of them had no one to take care of them. There was also regret—regret that he couldn't do more, and that the government didn't do more.

It was frustrating. I almost couldn't find any sort of flaw in his spark and that, wrong as it sounds, annoyed me.

"So," Orion said when he had amassed a following of about fifteen. "This is Soundwave. We were just talking about telepaths. Do any of you know what telepaths are?"

None of them did.

Orion started explaining it to them. It was a difficult concept for some of the younger ones, but the older ones were soon asking all sorts of questions about mind-reading. I couldn't help but be amused.

Eventually we got to Maccadam's Oilhouse and Orion stopped. "Okay, everyone, I have to go in."

"Aw…"

"But I still want to know…"

"Come play with us, Orion!"

The little green femme on his pede clutched his leg and started to cry—though she wasn't particularly sad. It was just a tactic to try and get him to do what she wanted.

"Hey," he said. "Don't do that Iridia, I'll come back out soon." He reached down and gently pried her off his leg so he could set her on the ground. "I'll just be a breem, okay?"

He waved me forward and I followed him.

It was too crowded inside, or at least too crowded for me. It was the middle of the on-cycle so it was actually fairly empty but over-energized mechs made me feel dizzy I knew I'd get a processor ache if I was here more than ten breems.

Orion led me up to the bar. The bartender smiled at him. "Good orn, Orion."

"Is Mac in?"

"Yes, go on through the back."

"Thank you," Orion said, and ducked through the door that led behind the bar. He gestured for me to follow him and we went past the bartender and through another door in the back. It led to a short hallway with three doors. Orion knocked on one, waited for a "Come in" from the other side, and pushed it open. It swung outward instead of sliding back into the wall, which was a little unusual.

Primus, I was about to meet Maccadam.

What Searchlight would have given...

He'd have loved this place. The noise, the friendly atmosphere, the disregard for social class or any kind of faction. He'd been the one to tell me about Maccadam's in the first place. If I'd been here with him… but I wasn't. I was here with Orion Pax the archivist, who somehow seemed to know all kinds of important mecha despite his relatively mundane profession and unimportance.

We went in.

And for the second time, I realized I was in definite range of someone whose processor I couldn't hear.

I stiffened and tried to think of an excuse to leave, but the mech sitting behind the desk in the room smiled and waved us forward and so I reluctantly followed.

"Orion," he said. "And friend. How have you been?"

"Quite well," Orion said.  _ Soundwave looks intimidated. I should have explained more. Mac's really nice. _

"Haven't died of boredom yet in that rusty old library?"

Orion shook his helm.

"Sit down and introduce me to whoever this is."

Orion dragged a few chairs over from the wall and sat. "This is Soundwave. He's a close friend of Ratchet's. You remember Ratchet?"

"Yep," Maccadam said. "Didn't it take you three joors to get him to come in here?"

Orion remembered standing outside while Ratchet yelled at him about going to shady bars. "Yeah," he said.

"Bad for business, that," Maccadam said, but he was smiling. "So is your little horde of sparklings. Are they standing out in front of my establishment again?"

Orion shrugged sheepishly.  _ Yes? _

Maccadam shook his helm. "You're going to go broke you know, buying them things all the time. Trion's not paying you  _ that  _ much, is he?"

"Well…" Orion said, "I don't have much else to spend credit on. I don't need a bigger apartment, and I get  _ paid  _ to be a clerk, which is my only hobby. I'm comfortable where I am."

"Don't get too comfortable," Maccadam said. "The world has a way of kicking you out in the street once in a while."

Orion shrugged.

"Here," Maccadam pulled a cube of energon out of subspace with a flourish and handed it across the desk to Orion. "Soundwave, you want anything?"

"No thanks," I said.

"You sure? I've got essentially every type of fuel in existence."

"I'm o-okay."

Maccadam shrugged. I couldn't tell if I'd offended him or not, or if he'd noticed my stutter. I needed to get out of here.

"So," he said, looking at Orion again. "How's the old librarian?"

"Alpha Trion?" Orion asked. "He's all right. He's really frustrated with the Council. But…"

"Huh," Maccadam said. "Tell him he'd better get them straightened out quick. I had enforcers here the other orn trying to arrest one of my patrons. Everyone knows I won't stand for that."

"He's trying," Orion said.

"I bet you're covering for most of his work at the archives, then."

Orion shrugged.

"Should tell him I said to give you a raise. No, don't tell him I said anything, he'll think I'm using you to spy on him."

Orion smiled.  _ Maccadam kind of  _ is  _ using me to spy on him. _

"You should drag him down here sometime. I haven't seen his rusty old faceplate since he introduced me to you."

Orion shrugged. "Oh, by the way, do you know anything about telepaths?"

Maccadam looked openly surprised. "Telepaths?"

"Yes. Soundwave's researching them."  _ He should probably know something. If he really is one of the thirteen, he must have been there before the wars. _

Wait, what? One of the  _ thirteen? _

"Telepaths aren't around anymore. I guess they must have been kind of interesting. Kept to themselves, mostly, or so I've heard. I don't think they liked anymech else, and other mechs didn't like them either. But I don't know, mechling. Most of the history before the Quintesson wars was lost."

_ Actually, it was mostly hidden. It's still hidden in the archives I just… I guess he can't speak openly when I've got someone else with me. _

Speak openly? Who  _ were  _ these mecha?

"If you really wanted to know about that sort of thing," Maccadam looked at me. "I'd try asking Trion. He's the expert on history, and the like. Just  _ loves  _ to talk about it too. If you get him going, he'll blather on about pretty much anything. Don't tell him I said that. Don't tell anymech else either." Maccadam smiled. "It's old Trion's weakness. Perfect way to distract him is ask him a history question."

_ Especially something from the Covenant,  _ Orion thought.

"So, Soundwave, you're a friend of that high-strung little medical student, no? Do you go to the Academy?"

I nodded.

"Studying…"

"Communications technology and co-o-omputer science."

"So what's so interesting about telepaths? If you're trying to bring their abilities back somehow, I'd suggest you don't. I'm pretty sure the Council would be ecstatic, but they'd use them to spy on everyone and that… well, let's just say we don't want that."

"I'm no-ot trying to make them," I said, and was frustrated that I couldn't tell if he believed me.

Silence stretched out for an astrosecond and Maccadam narrowed his optics, frowning at me.

"So," Orion said. "How are you doing?"

"Nothing new," Maccadam said. "Except for those enforcers. But maybe that was just some sort of fluke. They won't be back in any case."

"Did you kick them out?"

"What do you think?"

"Uh… what if they try to shut you down?"

Maccadam snorted. "They're not going to try to shut me down. Do you know the pit that would raise? This place has been here for centuvorns. Shut me down. As if."

Orion was comforted, but I wasn't so sure. The Council got what they wanted. If they wanted to shut him down, they probably could.

"Well, I should get back to work," Orion said. "Thanks so much for the energon, and it was good to see you."

Maccadam nodded. "Tell Trion to get his stuffy old aft down here once in a while. You can only listen to so many mechs complaining about femmes and their love life before you start longing for some molecular physics and astronomy and the like."

"Okay," Orion said. "Good to see you."

"You too. And good to meet you, Soundwave. Good luck with the upcoming term."

"Thanks."

Orion and I got up and left.

"Sorry," Orion said. "I guess I should have warned you I was going so far from the Hall of Records."

"That's all ri-ight."

"Mac's really nice. He's one of Alpha Trion's friends, in case you didn't pick up on that."  _ I'm pretty sure he's actually Alchemist. At least, that's what the rumors say, and Alpha Trion's  _ definitely  _ the real Alpha Trion. _

That wasn't possible… was it? I'd heard rumors that Maccadam was one of the original thirteen, but rumors that sensational were usually wrong. Then again, both Maccadam and Alpha Trion were immune to my mind-reading, so I was a little more inclined to believe there was something special about them.

We left the building. The crowd of sparklings had doubled in size by then and they all rushed Orion, begging for candy and for him to come play with them.

"I'm going to go back," I said. He heard me over the chatter and nodded. I walked away, not entirely sure how to feel about this whole orn.

* * *

I found my way back to campus. I'd worked up a bit of a processor ache by then from the crowds, but it was mild. Perceptor wasn't at home so I sat in my room with my symbionts. Rumble and Frenzy had found a hole behind the desk that they could fit through. Apparently, the wall was hollow, which I found kind of strange. I'd have to ask Perceptor about it at some point.

I also needed to talk to him about telepaths. Maybe he could convince Alpha Trion to let me see the medical files about them. If anything could teach me how to control my range, it was those files.

But he didn't come back until late, so I decided I'd wait. And maybe I could figure it out on my own. The less Alpha Trion knew about me, the more comfortable I'd be. Of course, he could know everything about me already and I wouldn't be able to tell. That thought kept me up late, worrying.

I talked to Perceptor the next orn about what Orion had been able to tell me, though I left out that there had been more that just wasn't available. In order to get those files, Perceptor would probably have to explain to Alpha Trion about me, and I'd decided I didn't want to let the creepy old archivist in on the secret unless I absolutely had to. There would be no way for me to tell if he planned on keeping it a secret.

Fortunately, Perceptor didn't even think about the possibility of there being useful files in the archives. He'd probably enjoy himself more trying to figure out the problem on his own.

Then I breached the subject of the hollow walls.

"Oh," he said. "The walls are hollow?"  _ I didn't know that. _

"Yes."

_ There are some secret ways into and out of the basement, but I didn't know there were hollow walls too.  _ "That's interesting. What are the spatial dimensions of the hollow area?"

"I can let Rumble and Frenzy explo-ore," I said, though I wasn't so sure I liked that idea.

_ I wonder if more of the walls are hollow, and if there are passages to every room. I'll have to find out sometime. I finished up preparing for classes last orn, I have time…  _ "Now I'm curious. Would you like to help me map the house and look for hollow walls and secret passages?"

I shrugged. Why not?

"Your symbionts can participate. I'm sure they would enjoy that."

I nodded again, and went to get them.

Rumble and Frenzy took a camera into the wall and measured the space there, then went exploring. Laserbeak flew from room to room, making sure the length of the hallway matched up with the dimensions of the rooms. Ravage went with Perceptor and I to systematically check each room, looking for secret passages.

By the end of the orn, we'd found several, and Perceptor had enough information to build a 3D map of the house. He was certain we hadn't found everything, though. We'd have to keep looking some other time. As it was, classes started the next orn, so we'd both be busy for a while. I was interested to see what would be the same about the Academy and what would be different.

* * *

The next orn, I got up after a restless off-cycle. I told Rumble and Frenzy on no uncertain terms that they weren't allowed to go into the wall while I was gone. They didn't intend to listen to me, but Ravage would keep them in line and I'd probably have time later to patch up that hole in the back of the desk so they couldn't crawl through it.

And then I went to class.

Over the next few decaorns I came to find that the Academy was very different from secondary school. For one thing, I was almost always exclusively around other mecha who were in engineering, technical science, or computer science. I never saw Ratchet unless we planned to meet, because the medical complex was on the other side of campus. The Academy was really more like several academies, each one with its own specialty.

I did see Wheeljack now and then, and occasionally Shockwave, though he was always busy. He was majoring in two separate fields—engineering as well as political science.

It was more crowded than the school in Kalis, and even with my smaller range, sometimes I picked up a processor ache. Walking between classes was the worst. And even though I was among other scientists, it seemed like the older everyone got, the more things I overheard that I just kind of wanted to forget. We needed to figure out how to control my range and figure it out quickly or I'd get sick again.

And they had this horrible place for taking tests where the students around you would be taking different tests from the one you were taking. I could never have gone to this school without a teacher who knew about my abilities. Perceptor and I were working on the problem of my range but we weren't making much headway. About four decaorns into the term, I got a message from Breeze.

[Hey, Soundwave, Ratchet. Sometime when you've got an orn off of school we should get together. Talk about it and let me know when there's a time that will work. It's been ages since I've seen either of you. So happy to hear you're going to the Academy, by the way, Soundwave.]

I wondered how she'd heard that. Probably from Ratchet.

I let Ratchet answer and tell her that yes, we did have an orn off school in just half a decaorn.

[Okay], she replied [I'm of work all decaorn so I can come up. We should met in Iacon, since both of you are there. Keepsake and Cam have told me I can come visit them any time. I'll ask them if that orn works and we should all meet up then. Soundwave, you should bring the twins and the others.]

Keepsake and Cam.

I hadn't talked to them since Searchlight's funeral.

I glanced up at my teacher, then down again at my datapad. I wished I had an excuse not to go. Maybe I could come up with one by then. I hadn't talked much to Breeze either. I didn't want to.

[Okay] Ratchet said.

[Don't bring your homework]

[Why not?]

[Oh, fine, bring your homework. Hey, Soundwave, you  _ are  _ getting this, aren't you?]

[He's probably in class, paying attention, which is what I should be doing.]

[Well, let me know if you can come when you read this, 'Wave. If you can't, we'll come visit you sometime.]

[In other words,] Ratchet added. [You'd better come]

I waited a few breems, then typed reluctantly. [I can come.]

It was only a few astroseconds before Breeze responded. [Yay! Hi, Soundwave.]

I put the datapad away.

* * *

The orn came very quickly. All of my symbionts were excited, especially Rumble and Frenzy, though Rumble would never admit it. They woke me up early, and so I had a couple of joors before Ratchet and I were going to meet up at the mass transit station. Keepsake and Cam lived in an outer sector of Iacon. Breeze would be Groundbridging in from Praxus.

I gave my symbionts energon, but didn't feel like taking any myself. Ravage noticed and hopped up onto my shoulders to wrap himself comfortingly around my neck.

"It'll be okay," he purred. "Why are you worried?"

I shrugged, and reached up to stroke the plating behind his audios. I remembered a time when I had been small enough that him sitting on my shoulders had nearly been enough to overbalance me. I had changed, but he hadn't. That was one reason I loved symbionts.

"Why are you worried?" Ravage asked again.

"I should have been able to save hi-im," I replied quietly. "How can I… I can't face them. I don't even kno-ow why they want me to come."

_ Oh, please,  _ Laserbeak thought.  _ Stop moping. They're your friends. If they  _ didn't  _ still want to be friends, then that would be  _ their  _ problem. _

Ravage just pressed his helm against my hand.  _ I miss Searchlight too. _

Searchlight would have wanted me to go. He would have gotten fed up with my moping and dragged me out to Keepsake and Cam's house.

So eventually I got up and left Perceptor's house. They all climbed onto me. I was a pretty strange sight carrying them all, and mecha noticed and watched us wherever we went, but I didn't care. Frenzy rode on my helm, Ravage on my shoulders, Rumble, on Ravage, and Laserbeak clinging to my back.

"Are we going on a mass transit?" Frenzy asked.  _ Please, please, please, please… _

"Yes."

"Yaaaay!"  _ Those are so fun. You can lean really far out the window and feel the wind rushing by and if you're standing up when the transit turns, you can try to keep your balance… _

And if he was leaning out the window when the transit turned, I was going to be one symbiont short.

We would have to discuss that once we got on.

Ratchet showed up just in time to come with me and buy a ticket. The crowd was pretty bad, because students were leaving for the orn, but it was all right. I didn't mind so much.

_ Hello, Soundwave,  _ Ratchet thought.  _ I haven't seen you much. Are you still ignoring everyone? _

He was one to talk.

"Ratchet!" Ravage jumped off of my shoulders, sending Rumble flying. I caught Rumble as my cat knocked Ratchet over.

"Get off!" Ratchet snarled, shoving Ravage away and scrambling to his pedes.  _ I'm in a fragging transit station, can this slagging cat ever just leave me alone? _

Ravage was neither offended nor deterred. He leaped up onto Ratchet's shoulders, purring.

It had been a long time, I realized, since Ravage had seen his favorite pouncing toy.

Ratchet tried to be angry, but it didn't work, so he just huffed an amused sigh and we got in line to buy tickets.

"Hey, Ravage," Rumble said. "Mind giving a little warning before you slagging toss me off of you? I could have died."

Ravage smiled toothily. "Sorry Rumble," he said, not even trying to sound sincere.

We got tickets and boarded the mass transit. Frenzy leaped off of my helm and over to sit in the window, dangling his pedes over the side. Laserbeak clung to the back of the seat in between Ratchet and I and Ravage curled up in the seat itself, prepared for a nap.

When the mass transit started moving, I had to reach out and grab Frenzy so he wouldn't fall out.

"You need to stay in the transit," I warned him. "Do not stick any part of you out the window or you'll sit o-on my shoulder for the rest of the tri-ip."

"Fine," Frenzy said.  _ But I'm not just sitting around.  _ He jumped up onto my shoulder where Rumble was and slapped him in the faceplate. "Tag you're it!" He shouted and jumped off of my shoulders.

They ran around under the seats for a while, playing tag. Frenzy understood that game pretty well. He still had trouble with hide and seek, though.

Ratchet did homework so we didn't talk much. The trip wasn't nearly as long as the trip from Kalis to Searchlight's house. I had to apologize to a few people for the twins getting under their pedes, but that was inevitable. I should probably work on their public etiquette, but I didn't really think it was necessary. They knew how to behave. If a situation ever came up when I needed them to do so, I was relatively sure they wouldn't let me down. They  _ did  _ listen to me, as much as they listened to anyone.

The transit pulled to a stop in the station and the twins came back. All of my symbionts climbed onto me and we walked out into the station. There was a moment where I couldn't move, like I was frozen in the past. This place was too full of memories.

"Well," Ratchet said.  _ Here we go. I haven't seen Breeze for a long time. Not as long as you, though, Soundwave. _

He was really not happy with me for skipping a term of school, was he? And he was nervous too, about talking to Keepsake and Cam. It had been a while for both of us, and neither had really stayed in touch like we ought to have.

We left the station. Their house was only a short walk, so we didn't have much time to talk, not that we would have anyway. Breeze and Searchlight had facilitated most of the conversation among the four of us.

We stopped in front of their door. The station, the walk, the door… I did not want to be brought back here to this place—not without Searchlight.

We stood in front of the door for a while.  _ Are you going to request entry? _

I shook my helm.

_ Fine then.  _ Ratchet approached the door, and knocked, remembering that the entry request button was broken.

Breeze's processor felt much the same as ever as she came to answer the door. It slid open and she threw herself at Ratchet and wrapped her arms around him. "Ratch! I haven't seen you for ages! How are you?"

Ratchet had momentarily frozen and could only splutter at her to get off. She laughed and let go of him.  _ I guess I shouldn't surprise him like that. It's so funny how he reacts to things, though... but that's unkind... _

"You big, mean bully," I said quietly.

Breeze pushed past Ratchet and smiled up at my screen.  _ How are you doing? Are you okay?  _ She reached out and took one of my hands in both of hers. "It's  _ so  _ good to see you." She couldn't keep a deep swelling of sadness from washing over her, but she smiled even wider and embraced me as well.  _ I really missed talking to you.  _ "Both of you come in," she said, and ushered us into the house. Ravage leaped off of my shoulders and went to say hi to Keepsake. They were waiting in the main room where they'd been talking to Breeze when we had shown up. Keepsake stood and crossed the room to embrace us.

"Oh, it's so good to see you. How has school been?" _ We only heard that Soundwave had been avoiding everyone else. I was worried he wouldn't come. _

"Soundwave, Ratchet." Cam nodded to both of us. He too was relieved that I had come. They'd gotten together before once or twice, and I had refused to show up.

Searchlight wouldn't have been happy with me for that.

Keepsake brought me over to sit on the bench. The twins hopped off and went to climb onto Breeze's lap.

"So," Keepsake said. "How have you been? How is the term going for you? Breeze was just telling us about her work. Ratchet, how is school coming?"

"All right," Ratchet said. "I'm busy studying a lot. I really wish we didn't have to do practical medicine, since I'm only going into research, though."  _ The practical exams are nightmares. They have these lifelike drones you have to repair while they watch and if you diagnose anything wrong or let them offline you fail and have to try again and again. You never know what they're going to throw at you or how bad it's going to be…  _ "But I'm doing fine."

"Soundwave?"

I shrugged.

"Are you settling in well? It's probably a difficult transition."

"I'm friends with o-one of the professors," I said. "A-and I've got my symbionts, so…"

_ Oh, Soundwave,  _ Breeze slumped a little.  _ Your stutter. _

I looked away.

_ Has it ever really gone away since Searchlight? _

I shook my helm slightly.

_ I should ask him if he's made any friends in his classes… but I shouldn't,  _ Keepsake thought.  _ Though he ought to be making some, or at least spending time with Breeze and Ratchet. _

I ought to. But I didn't want to. The reason the three of us were friends was dead.

I had missed Breeze, though.

We chatted for a while, and then the twins got restless and knocked something over so we decided to go outside. We left Keepsake and Cam back at their apartment and the three of us and my symbionts walked to the nearest park.

There was a lot of thinking on the way there, but not a lot of talking. It was Ratchet who eventually broke the silence.

"So," he said. "How about you, Breeze?"

"Hmm? How have I been? I've been doing pretty well. I'm still just an apprentice, but my mentor says I'm going to be a great psychiatrist some orn." She smiled. "Not that I can really trust what he's saying. He's a psychiatrist, after all."  _ Of course I trust him. He's a good mech and a good teacher.  _ "He's really good, though. He trained under  _ Rung _ ."

"Who?" Ratchet demanded.

"What do you mean who, Mr. knows-everything? Rung's one of the greatest philosophers and psychiatrists online. And I  _ met _ him once, at a convention."

"Huh," Ratchet said. "A  _ famous  _ philosopher?"  _ There's no such thing. _

"It  _ is  _ a science."

"Psychology, yes. Philosophy, no."

Breeze shook her helm, trying to decide whether to be amused or annoyed.

We got to the park and let the symbionts run loose. A group of younglings were playing disc in a nearby field.

Breeze watched them for a few moments, "You know," she said. "We can do this. We can get together and talk and spend time here, but it will never be the same."

Ratchet crossed his arms and nodded solemnly. "It's different."

"That doesn't mean we shouldn't stay in touch," Breeze said. "It's what he would have wanted, after all. I'm sorry I haven't been better about that."  _ Of course, all of us were grieving. We needed time and space. But we also need each other. He would have wanted me to make sure Soundwave didn't disappear into himself, and make sure Ratchet didn't study himself to death. _

And he would have wanted us to make sure she was all right. Of course, she had been hanging out with a bunch of psychiatrists. She was probably in better mental and emotional shape than Ratchet, and she was certainly doing better than I was.

"We're all going different directions," Ratchet said.  _ It's going to be hard to stay in touch. _

"We would be going in different directions anyway," Breeze said.

But we would have had Searchlight to keep us together. It went without saying and always had that he was the catalyst to our friendship. Without it, was there reason to try?

"Look," Breeze said. "We can at least make some sort of attempt, because Searchlight would have wanted it. You two are still my best friends. Maybe that's just because you were Searchlight's friends, but that doesn't matter. We spent thousands of orns in Searchlight's room talking and laughing and arguing and just because he's not here anymore doesn't mean we should forget about that."

I looked away.

"Don't act like he never existed, all right?" Breeze said. "Please, both of you, don't try to pretend he never existed…"  _ Primus, talking about this is hard. How long is it going to hurt? _

_ He existed,  _ Ratchet looked out at the group of younglings playing disc.  _ He could have done so much more, but he had to go and get killed. Why didn't I just get up and do something? I was there, I could have stopped him and then it never would have happened. _

So I wasn't the only one who felt like it was my fault. "Bree-eeze?"

"Soundwave, we fixed your stutter."

I shrugged.

"I know we did. I guess… I guess there was a possibility that it would come back, but…"

I shrugged again and made an effort this time. "In any case, we're sorry."

She frowned at me.  _ Who's sorry? For what? _

"Ratchet and I. We're sorry we didn't try harder. Searchlight would still be here if we had…"

_ Oh, no, you don't.  _ "Soundwave," She reached out and touched my arm. "Have you…"  _ Have you been  _ blaming  _ yourself for what happened? _

I looked down and didn't answer.

"He's right," Ratchet said. "I could have stopped him. We could have taken his arrest more seriously."  _ Soundwave could have gone to get him out just joors earlier… _

"Both of you." She crossed her arms. "You couldn't have…"

"Don't try to tell us we're wrong," Ratchet glared at her. "You know we're not. Searchlight's dead because…"  _ Because we weren't good enough friends. We were never good enough friends. _

"No," Breeze said. "That's ridiculous. Grieving has to take its course, and it's not wrong to be sad about what happened, but if you spend your whole life beating yourselves up for mistakes you can't fix then you're not going to get anywhere."  _ I will never stop missing him, but I can move on at the same time. He would want me to move on.  _ "Maybe you could have saved him, maybe you couldn't," she said. "But it happened and you did your best and he was…" she smiled and shook her helm.  _ He was bound to get himself killed doing some fool thing anyway… we always used to say that, but he kept pulling through somehow. He seemed immortal. I wouldn't be surprised if he just walked into my office one orn… I'd better not daydream like that though. It's not going to happen. _

She was right about blaming ourselves, but part of me—a selfish part—was afraid of how lonely she was. My guilt, in a way, kept me from missing him. If it was my fault he was dead, then I didn't deserve to miss him.

We all watched the younglings play the game of disc. When they were done, we went to round up my symbionts and headed back to Keepsake and Cam's house.

"So," Ratchet said. "I do have a lot of homework.”

"Of course you do," Breeze said. "Honestly, I'm not sure where you manage to  _ find _ all that homework. But you two have less of an excuse than I do, and you should come out here once in a while. Keepsake and Cam lost… they lost their creation and that's got to be so much harder for them than it was for any of us. They'd love it if you two visited once in a while.  _ Especially you, Soundwave. They almost thought of you as theirs too. You know they did. _

I nodded.

_ I would think they wouldn't want to be reminded,  _ Ratchet thought.

No. They, like Breeze, did not want anyone pretending Searchlight hadn't existed. I didn't want that either, did I? And yet here I was, pretending he had never drawn the three of us together and convinced us to be friends.

"Breeze is right," I said as we neared the apartment. "We should stay in touch. And we sho-ouldn't forget."

Breeze looked down and smiled.  _ Thank you. Also you and I need to work on your stutter some more. We'll set up a time that I can call you. _

"I'm fine."

_ Don't even try that on me, Soundwave. I know you're not fine.  _ She went up to the front door and put in the code to open it. We all filed back in.

We stayed for a few joors after that. Keepsake and Cam had a lot of questions for us about school and work. We even talked a little about Searchlight near the end, and it hurt, but it was good too because we were remembering him.

Then, eventually, Ratchet's homework won out and we got up to leave. Keepsake walked us to the front door.

"Both of you are welcome here whenever you like," she said, but she was mostly thinking about me. "Soundwave, the symbionts at the shelter miss you."

I looked down. I didn't think I could go back there. Of course, I hadn't thought I could come here either.

"Take care," Keepsake said. "Live, learn, make friends…"  _ Live for my creation, Soundwave... You truly were the best friend Searchlight ever had… _

On the transit ride back up to the center of Iacon, I thought about what Breeze had said, about how blaming yourself never got you anywhere.

Searchlight was dead. He had deserved better friends, but he had chosen us. Perhaps he had chosen us  _ because  _ we didn't have a prayer of making any friends otherwise. To throw that away and hide from the rest of the world would be to dishonor his memory. He had fought for us. If I barricaded myself in my room and refused to talk to anyone, then I was letting him lose that fight. Perhaps it was too late. Perhaps since he was dead, it didn't matter anymore. But I could try—I  _ would  _ try—not to let him down again.


	50. Reunions Part 1

After our trip to visit Keepsake and Cam, things continued mostly as they had, except that I started talking to Breeze once in a while. I spent more time in the Hall of Records too, talking to Ratchet, and occasionally Orion. I found that with school on top of taking care of my symbionts and occasionally helping Perceptor with experiments, I had little time for anything else. I also found that time passed much more quickly when I had a lot to do. Before I knew it, the term was half over. I hadn't thought that I could ever slip back into any sort or comfortable normality after Searchlight's death, but I did.

The one serious problem was that Perceptor and I had made no headway on being able to control my range. It was starting to look like I'd have to go and have surgery again before we figured it out. Classes were getting harder, and I'd occasionally come home for the off-cycle with a processor ache. Over the break, I was going to have to go talk to Crescent again and ask her to get in contact with her medic, but I'd put it off as long as I could.

Other than that, classes were going well.

* * *

I had a processor ache. It had been a long orn and I felt like my range had grown a lot over the past decaorn or so. I was headed to Perceptors house, looking forward to having all my symbionts piled on top of me while I did my homework.

Mecha paying attention to me as I walked past. I was used to how they'd see me, and then look away, trying to pretend they weren't curious or that they hadn't noticed anything different about me. A rare few would stare at me, wondering if I was really a mech or not, even though most drones weren't actually built the same shape as mecha.

But usually they didn't know my designation.

_ …Soundwave… _

I stopped. The mech had been walking the other direction, far enough away that he'd just skirted the outer edge of my range as he'd gone past me. There was something familiar and unpleasant about his processor.

I glanced over my shoulder to see him looking at me.

Verdict.

I looked away and kept walking forward, hoping he didn't follow me, cursing myself for walking instead of flying.

He didn't come after me, thankfully, but by the time I got to Perceptor's house, I was a little worried. Verdict knew my secret, and running into him had probably just reminded him of that. It would be fine though, wouldn't it? He still couldn't prove anything, and in the future I could just avoid walking back and forth from campus so I didn't risk running into him again.

I told myself I had been in Central Iacon so long without seeing him that the likelihood of running into him again was probably pretty small.

But then a couple of orns later, I got a message.

* * *

Perceptor stopped me on the way to my room. "Soundwave, someone left this for you," he said, holding out a datapad.  _ They showed up several joors ago.  _ He thought about the mech who'd brought it, accessing an image in his processor.

"I don't recogni-ize him," I said, taking the datapad. That was strange. Why would someone I didn't know send me a datapad? I really didn't think I'd ever seen the mech who'd delivered it before. All my friends knew my comm. codes, and no one else knew where I lived. I took the datapad to my room, feeling anxious.

Frenzy ran over to grab my leg. "Soundwave, Laserbeak is being mean! She kept knocking me off the desk."

_ That's not true!  _ Laserbeak thought.  _ He tried to stab me with a stylus. _

I sat down on the berth, setting the datapad aside, and let Frenzy climb up into my lap. "La-aserbeak says she's sorry," I said.

_ What!? I am  _ not  _ sorry! _

"Can you say you're sorry for trying to hit her with a stylus?"

Frenzy looked down. "I was just playing."

"Maybe she-e was just playing too."

He sighed. "I'm sorry," he said. "I guess."

Laserbeak glared down from the ceiling where she had attached herself.  _ He's not sorry either. _

I looked up at her. "He  _ is  _ sorry." If nothing else, Frenzy was often regretful about the trouble he caused.

Ravage leaped up onto the berth next to me. "What's that?" he asked, nudging the datapad with his olfactory sensor.

"I don't kno-ow," I said and picked it up, but then hesitated. I wasn't sure if I wanted my symbionts reading over my shoulder. "Wait here." I got up and left the room, closing the door behind myself. Then I sat in the hallway and turned the datapad on. It displayed its message.

[Soundwave,

It was quite a surprise to run into you the other orn. I regret that I didn't stop and talk to you. I know we had our differences in the past, but it would have been good to catch up. Things have changed—we're no longer mechlings, and I hope we can put aside our past and get to know each other on better terms. Please believe me that I harbor no hard feelings for what you did back in secondary school.

I would like to meet with you some time, just to talk. I'll give you my comm. code, and you can contact me to set something up, at a location of your choice—preferably somewhere private but anywhere will do. If you don't get back to me within a decaorn, I'll make another attempt to get in touch with you. I really do want to apologize in person for all of that nonsense in school, and there are other things you should know as well—things I've found out that might be of interest to you.

Congratulations on getting into the Academy, by the way, though I'm sure it wasn't that difficult for you.

Regards,

Verdict]

I read it twice, and then shut the datapad off with a sigh.

For all of his conciliatory words, I was not convinced that he actually wanted to apologize. I should just ignore this. He couldn't force me to talk to him and he had no proof of my mind-reading. No one would believe him if he tried to tell them… although now that we were adults, they might take him a little more seriously.

I subspaced the datapad. I couldn't worry about this right now. I had homework to do, and a project for one of my classes that was supposed to be finished by the end of the decaorn.

I put the message from my mind, and ignored Ravage's questions about it until he gave up asking.

But I was awake long into the off-cycle, thinking about it. What if Verdict  _ did  _ convince the wrong mecha that I could read minds? What could I do? Should I leave? Should I tell someone? How much danger would I be in if he told someone? I wasn't a fledgling anymore, and I'd probably know ahead of time if someone was coming for me. But I didn't want to risk it, and I didn't want to have to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.

There was another possibility.

I could talk to Verdict.

I could try to convince him that the mind-reading had just been a trick. That shouldn't be too hard—after all, it was kind of ridiculous. Most mecha didn't know telepaths had really existed.

If he was telling the truth, I could meet with him this once and then never talk to him again. If not, I could convince him it had all been a hoax and then never have to worry about him again.

Even if it didn't work, it wouldn't be any different from ignoring him, since he'd made it clear in his letter he didn't intend to stop trying to talk to me. And he knew where I lived—how did he know where I lived?

He'd said he would let me pick the time and place so at least I could prepare. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell anyone else about this, though. I didn't actually want their worry, or their advice. I could handle this by myself.

I kept trying to convince myself of that, but it was still a while before I finally slipped into recharge.

* * *

I took in a deep vent and let it out slowly, then sent a comm.

And waited.

_ "Yes, who is this?"  _ Verdict's voice rang through my helm.

"Soundwave," I said quietly.

There was a pause.  _ "Ah… yes, perfect." _

He sounded so pleased that I almost changed my mind. "Look…"

_ "Have you thought of a place to meet?" _

I took a deep vent. If I acted too hostile, it would be hard to convince him my secret wasn't real. "How about the Hall of Records? I can reserve a study room. A-are you free this orn at thi-irteen joors?"

Another pause.  _ "Yes,"  _ he said.  _ "I'll meet you there. Just let me know where the room is." _

He cut the comm. and I looked up at the sky, feeling shaky. It was supposed to rain sometime in the next orn or two, but right now it was its usual clear dark blue. The Hall of Records was good—well populated and secure, not to mention I had some allies there, who I could get help from if I needed. I was going to have to act like I wasn't nervous, like I wasn't still afraid of him.

I couldn't focus all orn. When classes were over, I headed to the Hall of Records. I found Ratchet there, studying as usual. I hadn't told anyone about meeting with Verdict. I figured I'd tell them after the fact and then I wouldn't have to deal with anyone worrying about me or trying to talk me into or out of things.

I got a study room, then commed Verdict to let him know where I was. Then I waited trying to mentally prepare for the coming conversation. If this went well then I'd never have to worry about him again. If it went poorly, then I could be in a lot of trouble.

Verdict showed up five breems early. He walked into my range, and I watched through his optics as he approached the door. I waited for him to hit the entry request before getting up to open it.

He smirked at me as he walked past me and into the room.  _ Perfect. Everything is going perfectly and things are going to get so much better now. I'm so glad I finally found him. _

That was ominous.

We both sat down.

"How have you been?" he said, smiling cheerfully.

I shrugged. Searchlight would probably have said something offensive and started an argument. I could certainly  _ think  _ of a few biting responses to that question, but saying them out loud wouldn't be worth the effort.

"What is it you're studying again?"

I had recorded myself saying that because so many mecha asked. "Computer Science and Communications Technology."

_ No stutter. Of course, he didn't stutter much over the comm. _

It came and went these orns, depending on my mood. Right now, I'd probably have to try really hard to keep it under control.

_ Also, he’s still an awkward conversationalist. That should be fine, though.  _ "Like I said in my note, I'd really like to start fresh."  _ You are far too valuable an ally, Soundwave. _

"Okay," I said. "What is tha-at supposed to mean?"

"It means, obviously," Verdict said. "That I don't want to be your enemy. In fact, I'd like to hire you."

I stared at him. I couldn't believe this. It took me an astrosecond to remember that I needed him to think I couldn't read minds. "Um… to do what e-exactly?"

_ I'm sure you can imagine. I could use someone who can read minds. I bet I could move up much more quickly if I had your help. _

Why on all of Cybertron did he think I'd be willing to work for  _ him _ ? Also, he'd definitely been lying about the whole forgiveness thing. He didn't want to apologize, he just wanted to bribe or threaten me into helping him.

"I'm… still in school," I said, mastering my irritation with some effort. "I'm not looking for a job. And I don't know what you'd want me to do anyway."

He looked at me. "If you don't want to talk here we could meet somewhere else."

"What do you mean?" I said. "What a-are you talking about?"

"What do you mean what am I talking about?" Verdict said, getting irritated too. "I'm talking about your abilities."

I stared at him, relishing his momentary uncertainty.

"What?" he said.

"Oh!” I pretended to suddenly understand. “Um… Ve-erdict… you don't… you don't still think I can re-ead mi-inds, do you?"

He stared for a moment, then sat back, feeling a little flustered and foolish. "I… well… no, of course not."  _ Wait… but wait, what about everything I've figured out… and what about…  _ "But…"

I shook my helm. "Verdict…"

"No," he said. "No, that can't be right."  _ I know about Neurosis. I know you were some sort of science project, and they never figured out what that crazy medic was trying to do because your caretaker wouldn't let them near you… _

Frag.

"Soundwave…" Verdict said.  _ Of course he'd try to bluff his way out of it, though. Ha. I almost fell for it.  _ "Don't play games with me. I'm really not a fledgling anymore, and It's much harder to trick me."

"That's funny," I said. "Because y-you still seem to believe I ha-a-ave magi-ic powers."

"I  _ know  _ you're lying. You got me expelled. How did you manage that?"

"Because you're stupid," I said. "You go-ot yourse-elf expelled. And I'm do-one with thi-i-is." I got up. He still couldn't prove anything… but he knew about Neurosis…

"It doesn't matter," Verdict said.  _ You're trapped, either way. _

I stopped just one step from the door. "Excuse me-e?"

"I know you were experimented on my some rogue medic when you were a sparkling. And other mecha know that too. Even if you  _ can't  _ read minds, I can probably convince the government that you can, and they'll come for you. They'll want to make sure, in any case. So you've really only got two options. Either way, you're going to help me. Because of  _ you  _ I have to work my way up from the bottom. If you won't work for me, then I'll just tell my superiors about you. I can probably trade in that little tidbit of information for a promotion of some sort."

Well, this was great.

"And if you can't read minds, then I guess that won't help me, but at the very least you're going to pay for tricking me for all these vorns. They'll still want to figure out what that rogue medic did to you."

I turned to look at him again.

"Your best option is to take me up on my offer," Verdict said. "I promise I pay well."

"You ho-onestly think I-I'd  _ e-eve-er  _ work fo-or  _ you _ ?"

_ And the stutter comes back. That must mean he's scared. Ha. No one to protect you now, freak. Not with Searchlight in the scrapyard where he belongs. _

I'll kill you…

He smirked at me.  _ Yeah, you heard that, didn't you? What are you going to do? You can't touch me—you can’t do anything to me. _

I turned and walked out of the room, then took the nearest route out of the building, transformed, and flew to Perceptor's house. I wasn't safe here anymore, but I was  _ not  _ going to let Verdict have the last laugh. The government couldn't kidnap me if they couldn't find me. Primus, this orn couldn't get any worse…

"Oh, hello, Soundwave," Perceptor called from the other room once I'd let myself in. "How was your orn?"

I didn't answer, just went to my room for my symbionts.

"Soundwave!" Frenzy said. "We were playing hide and seek and we lost Rumble!"

"Wha-at?" I said.

"We couldn't find him."

I had a moment of panic, but then I heard him. I pulled open the desk drawer, where he was curled up, recharging. The motion jarred him online and he growled something vaguely threatening and rolled over.

"We nee-eed to go," I said softly. "All of us. Co-ome on."

"Why?" Frenzy asked as Rumble sat up, still groggy and pretty sure he didn't want to go anywhere.

"Because we do-o." I picked both of them up.

The entry request for the front door chimed and I froze, then expanded my range. I knew I might regret it later, but right now making sure we got out of here was the most important thing.

Enforcement. How had Verdict sent them so quickly?

Perceptor, oblivious, headed for the door. I set the twins down again, and left the room, trying to catch Perceptor before he reached the entryway.

I picked up that the enforcers had been in the nearby area when they'd gotten instructions to stop here and arrest me. That sort of thing was uncommon, but not unheard of. When instructions came from high enough up the chain of command, you did what you were told, even if it didn't make sense.

Perceptor opened the door just as I came skidding around the corner.

Wonderful. This orn might just get worse after all.

"Good orn," Perceptor said, feeling only slightly nervous _.  _ "Is there something I can help you officers with?"

"Yes," one of them said. "Is there someone designated Soundwave here?"

They'd already seen me. Perceptor looked over his shoulder. "Well... yes," he said.  _ Soundwave, what's going on? _

I should have talked to him first, before going for my symbionts. But how could I have known they'd come for me so quickly? Had Verdict planned this beforehand? He must have. He must have thought this through carefully and set it up so I wouldn't be able to get away. I was doomed.

I could still run but I'd be leaving my symbionts behind, and running from enforcement would just make it easier for them to make up a reason to hunt me down.

"We have a warrant for his arrest," the other enforcer said.

"Oh really? What did he do?"  _ I don't like this. Soundwave, should I try to get Alpha Trion's help? _

That would be appreciated.

"We're arresting him on charges of theft."

"I haven't sto-olen anything," I said, then nodded slightly to Perceptor. The mech had just invented the charge, since he hadn’t been given a specific reason to arrest me. But I couldn’t prove they were lying.

"You can sort that out in the courts," the second enforcer said. "Come on."

I hesitated.

"Better go with them," Perceptor said.  _ I'll get Alpha Trion and we'll have you back out in a few joors, don't worry. _

That hadn't worked so well the last time.

I didn't move, but Perceptor backed away from the door and let the enforcers in.

_ If I tell Trion about your abilities, he'll understand the urgency of the situation. I know you have a hard time with him because you can't read him, but please let me tell him. _

I didn't resist as one of the enforcers put me in stasis cuffs, but I shook my helm slightly.

_ Please, Soundwave. _

I hesitated again, but the enforcers started herding me out the door, so I followed them.

A transport drove up by the time we got to the corner, and the three of us got in. It was interesting that I could still read their processors. Most mods, and even some upgrades didn't work when you were wearing stasis cuffs. I wouldn't be able to transform, send or receive comms, or access my own subspace. But I could still hear them thinking.

That would normally have been disappointing, but in this case I was kind of relieved. I needed every edge I could get.

One of the enforcers didn't seem to think much of this, but the other one thought it was a little strange that they'd been ordered to arrest me out of the blue. He also thought the way Perceptor and I had acted had been a little suspicious.

I supposed I should have commed Perceptor quickly and explained the situation, but it was too late for that now. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling of the transport. I hoped my symbionts were all right. I hoped Perceptor could get ahold of Alpha Trion quickly so that he could get me out so that I could take Ravage and the others and leave.

I wouldn't be safe here anymore. All of this—coming to the Academy, being normal, acting like I could have a normal future—had been a long shot in any case. I would miss school, but something like this had been bound to happen eventually.

"You seem pretty calm for a mech who just got arrested," one of the enforcers said.

"I didn't steal anything," I said. I actually had even  _ more  _ reason to panic than if I'd just been arrested for theft, but I felt oddly calm. Panicking wouldn't help me anyway.

He waited for more, but I was definitely not up for a conversation. We were driving through crowds and I'd expanded my range back at Perceptor's house, so I was having trouble focusing on what was going on inside the transport. I was going to have a horrible processor ache in about five breems.

They took me to a detention center, and I suffered through my subspace being emptied while guards loomed threateningly in case I tried anything. I found myself wondering, as they led me to a cell, what it had been like for Searchlight.

We'd never gotten the things from his subspace. They'd probably been thrown away after his execution.

They took the stasis cuffs off and left me in a cell. I could hear far too many of the prisoners around me, and my helm was starting to hurt. I sat down against the wall and rested my screen against my knees, waiting for Perceptor to show up.

I wasn't waiting very long, but it wasn't Perceptor who came for me.

A guard and a different pair of enforcers came into my range, walking down the hall.

_ …so he'll probably resist because he'll know we aren't actually here to let him out… _

That didn't sound good.

_ …We'd better get some stasis cuffs on him while he's still in the cell. _

They knew I could read minds.

The guard stopped outside my cell. "Hey, mech," he said. "Guess what? You're innocent, just like you said. It was just a mistake. We're releasing you—we've got all the paperwork done already."  _ It's crazy how often this happens in this detention center… probably best not to think too much about it. I wish I could transfer back to my old job. _

He didn't know what was really going on, but the other two enforcers were watching me carefully.

Could I fight my way out of this place? Maybe, but if I tried and then didn't make it…

"Thank you, we'll show him out," one of the new enforcers said, and the guard nodded and left.

Great. I could try to fight my way out, but I certainly wouldn't be able to get past  _ all  _ the guards, and I didn't think I'd be able to take these two without them setting off some sort of alarm.

One of them opened the cell door and stood there to guard it while the other came in.

I stood. "You're putting stasis cuffs on me to let me go?" I asked, as he brought out a pair.

"Yep," the mech said. "Sorry. Protocol, mechling."  _ Of course, they just said there's a possibility he can read minds… _

Better if they thought I couldn't. Then I might have a chance to get away. He pulled my arms behind my back and I winced as he put the cuffs on. Then he turned the settings on them up so high that my systems started glitching and I couldn't move my arms at all.

_ That should keep him from trying anything.  _ "Okay, let's set you free."  _ They said they'd have a transport waiting down at the lower levels. _

I should have fought when I'd still had a chance.

He shoved me toward the door and I gasped and nearly fell. It was hard to walk, and my processor ache wasn't getting any better either.

They walked on either side of me as we went through the hallway, and then they opened a door and led me down a set of stairs. I didn't fight, knowing it wouldn't do any good. It took all I had to keep putting one pede in front of the other. I nearly fell once or twice, but they supported me until we were down the stairs and out of the building.

As expected, there was a transport, and they dragged me over to it and shoved me in before climbing in after me.

This was actually happening. This wasn't a dream. I trembled, bracing myself against the fear and the pain as the transport started moving.

The two enforcers sat down across from me, watching me vigilantly. They weren't really enforcers—or at least they weren't  _ just  _ enforcers. They did a lot of work directly for the Council.

I tried to take a deep vent, but my systems weren't working right and so I just ended up coughing.

"Quiet," one of them said.

The stasis cuffs were really starting to hurt. "I wo-o-on't fi-ight," I said. "Ple-e-ease…"

_ What's wrong with his voice box?  _ One of them thought.

_ He wants me to turn the cuffs down…  _ the other one glared at me.  _ I did put them kind of high… but then again, he could be dangerous.  _ "You're fine," he said. "Shut up."

I didn't say anything for the rest of the trip. The transport rolled back up to the surface after a while, and to some sort of government building.

When they dragged me out of the transport, I finally tried to fight them, but I was weak and incapacitated, and it wasn't hard for them to pull me inside the building. The fact that I hadn't even asked why they were doing this or where we were going had convinced them that I already knew, and so they took no chances as they dragged me through the building.

To make things worse, our destination was a room like a medic's office with a berth and all sorts of equipment on the walls.

"Wa-a-ait!" I said, but they just shoved me in. They took the stasis cuffs off of me, but didn't give me a chance to pull free before they slammed me onto the berth and restrained me there. Then they left, and one of them sent a comm. to report that they'd successfully retrieved me and that I was ready.

I tried not to panic, tried to focus, tried to think of a way out of this. This was a nightmare—this couldn't be happening.

I wanted to expand my range, but I already had a bad processor ache and it probably wouldn't do anything. After a few breems, a couple of mecha came close enough that I could hear them. I pulled at the restraints on the berth, but it didn't do any good. One of the mechs seemed to be someone high in authority, and the other was a medic who didn't yet know why he was here.

"I still don't understand…" the medic was saying.

"The Council has reassigned you to a new project."

"But…"  _ I wasn't finished. I haven't perfected the process yet. No one else will be able to take over from me, why would they reassign me now when I'm so close to a breakthrough? _ "But I was making so much progress! I hate to end a project in the middle."

"I assure you this is only temporary. It may be only for a few orns, depending."

_ Oh… well, that's a little different.  _ "Oh… all right then."  _ But what is it? I wish they'd just tell me what it is they want me to do. Not that they'll ever trust me, of course, but I would have been a lot happier about leaving Altihex on such short notice if they'd explained that it was temporary. _

"We need your expertise. Once you're done here, you can go back."  _ He'll be better than anyone else at this. After all, it  _ is  _ his handiwork. _

They reached the door and one of them put in a code to unlock and open it.

The medic walked in and looked around. His optics stopped on me.

_ Can it be…?  _ "Primus… this is one of mine."

It was him. The medic who'd saved my life as a sparkling and who'd ruined every chance of my ever living normally. The medic who'd given me my abilities. The medic who had been arrested for illegal experimentation.

"This is one of mine, from before. I never knew how he turned out, or even if I'd been successful…"

He wasn't dead or in prison like he was supposed to be. He was working for the Council.

"Soundwave," he said.

Neurosis.


	51. Reunions Part 2

The medic approached me, looking down at me, processor buzzing with excitement. "He was one of my patients vorns ago, just before…"  _ Just before my arrest. I was trying to recreate telepathic systems in his processor.  _ "What do you want me to do with him?"  _ Did I succeed? Did I? _

"We would like you to verify whether or not your experimentation was effective," the other mech with Neurosis said. "We were informed by a mech who'd gone to secondary school with him that he was a telepath." An image of Verdict flashed across his processor.  _ Though he seemed to be holding out for some reason. He hinted he knew something, but wouldn't tell me until just this orn. I think the little glitch must have been trying to recruit the telepath first. I'll have to keep an optic on him. _

The medic smiled. "So it may have worked?"

"Yes. We would like to know for certain, though, and whether or not you can replicate it. I'll leave you to your work."  _ This could prove very useful.  _ "We expect a preliminary report within one orn."

"Of course," the medic said, and the other mech typed in the key code for the door and left.

And then I was alone with Neurosis.

"Well," he said. "Isn't this fortuitous? It's good to see you after so long. How do you like your screen? I had to do some very creative wiring to get it to function so much like optics. Of course…" he scanned me and I shifted uncomfortably. "It looks like it's been replaced a few times. Upgrades, eh?"  _ He's lucky his caretaker was well-off. _ "You do talk, don't you? I went for trying to piece your voice box back together instead of replacing it, and the voice box is a tricky thing."

I didn't answer.

"Oh, introductions! I know your designation. Do you know mine?"

I tried to ignore him. I did  _ not  _ like being in his helm.

"It's Neurosis," the medic said. "Lovely to meet you. Here's an idea, Soundwave, why don't you tell me right now whether or not you can read minds? It will save us time."

I didn't move.

"All right."  _ I'd have needed to double-check anyway.  _ "Let's start with some scans then." He turned and regarded the equipment on the wall. "High quality everything. Only the best for government medics. I should have quit my job and turned myself in vorns and vorns ago. I could have skipped all the black market trading."

He started thinking about some of his former experiments. I wished I could control my range and stop listening.

He brought some heavy scanning equipment over. He was going to skip the intermediate scans and go straight to the deep, informative ones.

That meant he was going to put me into medical stasis. I tried to sit up and he raised an optic ridge at me, then flipped a switch on the berth that magnetized me to it. After that, I couldn't move at all, no matter how hard I fought.

"Relax," the medic said. "You act like this is the part that's going to hurt."

He initiated the process of forcing me into stasis. I fought it desperately, but all it did was delay the inevitable, and after a mad scramble of trying to keep my systems online, they all shut down and I could feel nothing.

In the dark silence of my own awareness, I was still panicking. If Neurosis found that I really could read minds, he would do this again to others. The government would use them to spy on everyone. As afraid as I was for myself, I knew the repercussions from this would not just affect me.

But what could I do? I was in stasis, magnetized to a berth, with a mad medic doing who knew what kind of scans on me.

I waited what seemed like joors in the darkness before my systems came online again.

"Well," the medic said. "It appears you're getting  _ some  _ sort of extra input, at least some of the time _. _ " He scanned my helm again with the scanner on so high it made me feel dizzy. "Ah, I see. It doesn't appear to be active unless you're online."  _ I'll have to check and see if everything's working the way it ought to be. And I'm curious. I had to delete all of my notes on this project.  _ "I guess we'll just have to do this with you online then."

"Ple-e-ease." I whispered.

"Oh, so you  _ can  _ talk."  _ I'm not going to want him making a lot of noise. I need to concentrate. _

"No…"

I could move as his hand transformed into a scalpel and he started cutting plating up by my neck where my voice box was. I screamed, but only until he stuck his hand into my neck and disconnected the system. My cry sputtered out.

"There," he said. "That's better."  _ Now let's see how this works.  _ He went around behind me. I couldn't move, but I could see the top of my helm through his optics.

And I watched through his optics as he cut it open so he could look inside.

He found the settings that controlled my range and played with them for a while, expanding my reach until I could hear the whole government building and watching thoughtfully as it destroyed my memory-storing subroutines. He wondered how best to account for that particular problem, then made my range shrink down to nothing. I was grateful that I didn't have to watch and listen to him repair the damage he had caused, though I did still have to feel it.

Sometimes I thought the pain would drag me down into stasis, but the one time it nearly did, the medic injected something into my energon lines that blocked any of my systems from shutting down.

"Well, that gave me plenty of data to start with," he said once he was done, and sort of stuck the top of my helm back on. He didn't fully reattach it, which I assumed was because he intended to come back. "I'll come get some more in a few joors once I've processed what I have. You should get some rest." He reached into my neck and re-connected my voice box. I tried to moan, but it came out as crackling static.

"Good off-cycle," Neurosis said, and left the room. He didn't un-magnetize me from the berth, so I still couldn't move. I lay, looking up at the ceiling, until whatever he'd given me that kept me awake wore off and then I slipped into deep, oblivious stasis.

* * *

I didn't know how long it was before he woke me up again. This time, he needed the schematics for the systems, so he started taking them apart. I wanted to die. I wanted his fingers to slip and destroy something important and kill me, but he was too careful.

When he left again I was in agony, but still very much online, courtesy of whatever drug he'd injected me with. I lay there for a breem or so, looking up at the ceiling, desperately trying to think of some way to escape. I was alert and if I could just get up, I'd be able to get out of here.

I was magnetized to the berth. I couldn't move at all. If I could turn it off…

There was a little voice-activated medical drone in the corner.

The irony.

I tried to talk, but all I got was static and maybe half of a very poorly pronounced word.

I needed to calm down and focus. I didn't have time. If the drug coursing through my systems wore off, then I'd pass out.

I took in a few deep vents to calm myself. I needed to speak, and speak clearly enough that the drone would understand me.

But it would also have to believe I was Neurosis. It might have voice recognition protocols...

No, this wasn't  _ his  _ office. It would probably need an access code of some sort, probably the same one Neurosis had used to activate the rest of the equipment in this room.

"Med dro-o-oid a-activate," I finally managed to stutter out.

It came online with a whirring sound and requested an access code. If I'd been able I would have commed the code to the drone, but I didn't trust my communications system at the moment so I spoke. It took a full breem because of the length of the code and my stutter. Fortunately the med drone picked out all the glyphs and granted me access to command it.

I ordered it to release me.

The magnetism turned off and the restraints slid back into the berth. I was free.

I got off the berth and found I could stand, though I was shaky. I didn't know how much time I had, but I knew it was limited. I couldn't afford to make a single mistake.

I braced myself against the wall and expanded my range. Sparks flew inside my helm and I screamed, but didn't stop. I needed to know where every guard was and every door out of here, and every camera.

I paid most attention to the mech monitoring all the security cameras. He would be the most likely one to notice me and raise the alarm.

Fortunately, I only had to wait a breem for someone to leave the building through a nearby door. With my range this wide, I had a hard time memorizing the key code he put in, but I managed.

I stood by the door and waited for the monitor mech to look down before keying my door open and slipping out into the hallway. I had a map of the building, courtesy of a guard who'd stopped by a map on the wall to make sure he knew where he was going.

I knew where all the guards were and how far all the cameras reached and when no one was looking at the camera feed. I could barely walk, but I slipped, unseen, through the building. They hadn't had time to think this through. They hadn't prepared for me, not really.

There were a few close calls, but eventually I made it out the door. No one saw me sprinting through the government complex. I got to the fence and risked transforming to fly up over it, then landed clumsily on the other side. I got up and forced myself to walk away, surprised that I wasn't being chased. In fact, I realized, there were very few mecha around at all. In the gray daylight, I didn't think much of it until I got to a part of the city that was normally crowded. The drug in my systems that had kept me awake was finally fading, and I could feel my systems preparing to shut down. I needed to get somewhere safe before that happened. Why was no one on the streets?

Something stung my shoulder and I hesitated, trying to focus enough to figure out what was going on. Something else stung on my back.

I looked up.

Boiling, pewter-colored clouds filled the sky.

Oh, Primus. Shelter, I needed shelter. I took a step forward and stumbled. No. I couldn't lose consciousness now in the middle of the street. I needed to get inside, or at least somewhere with an overhang.

There was an alley nearby. As the rain started coming down in earnest, I crawled toward it desperately rebooting my systems, trying to keep myself awake. I didn't get very far into the alley before I everything went dark.

* * *

_ Is it offline?  _ "Stay back, it could have a virus."

_ Is it some kind of broken drone? _

I moaned and turned my screen on. The younglings looking at me screamed and backed away as I fought to sit up. The streets were crowded and my range was enormous and my helm felt like it was splitting open and everything hurt…

"Don't get close to it," the oldest of the three younglings said.

"Should we tell someone?" the youngest asked.

"No-o," I gasped. "Ple-e-ease."

They screamed again and scampered away. I curled up, forcing my pain settings as low as they would go, and tried to focus. I could let myself offline in this alley, or I could try to think of somewhere safe to go. I was nowhere near the Academy and even if I had been, they might be watching there. I had to go somewhere they wouldn't find me.

I dragged myself to my pedes, leaning heavily on the wall of the alleyway. Then I walked out toward the main street. It was the off-cycle, fortunately, so mecha couldn't see me very well.

I was near enough to Maccadams that I could probably make it there. I wasn't entirely sure if he would help me since I couldn't read his processor. But he had seemed friendly and maybe he’d be willing to contact Ratchet and Perceptor for me. I ought to be safe there, and while it would be crowded, I figured I couldn't feel much worse than I already did.

I revised that assumption when the oilhouse came into my range. It was busy, and it got significantly harder to stay conscious as I walked up to the door and stumbled inside. It was nauseating to have so many overcharged mecha in my range but at least I wouldn't look out of place tripping over myself.

I stumbled across the room slowly, trying to push my pain receptors even lower as my processor tore itself apart.

I couldn't pick out the bartender's thoughts among the cacophony. He looked up at me as I approached. "Primus beneath… what…?"

I leaned forward against the counter, trying to figure out what to say. The bartender looked up and I could see through his optics that Maccadam was coming up behind me, looking displeased about something. I worried for a moment that he would throw me out.

"Hey." He reached us and put a hand on my shoulder. "You're Orion's friend, aren't you?"

I looked up at him.

"What the pit happened to you? No, don't talk. Come in the back. Mech, can you keep this crowd under control for a few breems?"

The bartender nodded and Maccadam led me past him into the back hallway, then to his office.

"You were out in that rain the other orn, I can see. Sit down."

The other orn? Primus, how long had I been unconscious in that alley?

"Mechling?"

"y-y-y-ye-es."

He stared at me for a moment. "Don't talk. You need medical attention."

"Wa-a-ait," I said. If he took me to a hospital, they'd probably find me.

"Wait what? What  _ happened? _ Orion was in here last orn, and he mentioned that you had disappeared and that your friend Ratchet was really worried. I told him I'd keep an optic out. Now… why would you have come here instead of going back to the Academy? Are you hiding from someone?"

I nodded.

"Some gang?"

I shook my helm.

"Government?"

I nodded again.

"Unicron, what a mess. Will they be watching for you, then?"

I nodded.

"Lovely. Hmm… I can contact Orion for you, and maybe he can pass the word on to Ratchet and that little professor that you're here. That sound good?"

I hesitated, realizing that the government might be watching them too.

"Mechling?"

I nodded reluctantly.

"Okay, I'll comm. him. It's early enough in the off-cycle he should still be up. And you're going to wait here until they come because it would be incredibly irresponsible of me if I let you go anywhere in your condition."

Well, I wasn't going to complain about that. At this point, I wasn't sure if I'd even be physically capable of walking out of here.

Something sparked in my processor again and I leaned forward, and gripped the edge of his desk, venting in shallow gasps.

"Whoa," Maccadam said. "I think I'm going to comm. a medic too."

"They can't he-e-elp," I stuttered. I needed Crescent's medic or something.

"What do you mean? No, don't say anything. Just… just sit still."

Thank you. I sat up a little straighter and let go of the table. Maybe if I shut myself down the pain would go away. My systems would probably start failing soon anyway. I was low on energon, and my processor kept glitching.

I almost forgot Maccadam was here, since I couldn't hear him, and was startled the next time he spoke.

"Okay," he said. "I think they're coming. Mechling?"

I didn't move.

"Hey, you still in there?"

I nodded, and my helm sparked again.

"You look like you're hurting. You want something for the pain? I think I have some additives that…"

"No tha-a-anks," I said.

"You sure?"

I nodded slightly. My experiences with pain medication in the past hadn't been particularly pleasant.

"Okay," he said, and sat, watching me. I leaned forward, trying to stay conscious. I would have turned off my screen, except that I couldn't hear Maccadam thinking and I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable not being able to see where he was.

I was nodding off when Ratchet and Orion came into my range. I sat up a little straighter as they navigated their way through the crowded room and talked to the bartender, who let them back past the counter.

_ The nerve… disappearing on us and then showing up again here of all places… He'd better have a good reason, and he'd better really be here…  _ Ratchet burst into the room, then stopped, staring at me.

Orion came in behind him. "Soundwave! I… are you okay?"

I took a deep vent and didn't answer.

"What happened?" Ratchet demanded. "Perceptor said he went to get you out of jail and they told him you'd already been released…"  _ He's here, he's not dead…  _ "We were worried we'd never…" He choked on the words.  _ I thought you were gone, like Searchlight. I thought the Council had gotten their hands on you and I wasn't going to see you ever again. _

"They di-i-id," I said.

_ By the Allspark… _

"Who did what?" Maccadam asked, getting up. He shut the door behind Orion and went back to sit at his desk again. "Can either of you explain what's going on?"

"You're a slagging mess," Ratchet said, taking in my damaged paint.

I nodded, and my processor sparked.

Ratchet's optics narrowed. "You need a medic, right now. We… Primus, they…"  _ How wide is your range? We need to get in contact with Crescent's medic… frag it,  _ I'm  _ a medic… _

"I can take him to a hospital, but…"

"No," Ratchet said, coming over. "They won't be able to help him." He scanned me and winced when he saw the pain readings.  _ This is not good. _ "Soundwave, give me access to your sensory grid."

I slid the panel on the back of my neck aside.

_ Something's going on here that I don't know about,  _ Orion thought. He and Maccadam looked at each other.  _ I don't think he knows either. What could possibly have happened? _

I let out a staticky sigh of relief as Ratchet turned my pain settings down to almost nothing. He closed the panel again and came around, to stare at my screen. "What happened?"

I looked down.

"I'd like to know that myself," Maccadam said. "He mentioned something about the government earlier… and what was that you said about jail, Ratchet?"

Ratchet looked at me and I shook my helm.

_ You and your ridiculous refusal to trust anyone…  _

"The government?" Orion frowned at me thoughtfully. _Why would the Council want Soundwave?_ _Why would they possibly want him? Does he know things he shouldn't? They'd just kill him in that case wouldn't they? He's kind of a strange mech, and I know he has secrets. He keeps to himself all the time, but he and Ratchet seem to know each other well enough to finish each others' sentences. What is it he doesn't want to trust us with? And why wouldn't a medic at the hospital be able to do anything for him?_

I didn't want Orion asking these questions.

"Di-id y-y-you comm Pe-ercepto-or?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yes," Ratchet said. "He's coming."

_ Does that mean he's damaged in unusual ways, or that he's physically different enough from other mecha that they wouldn't know what to do? _

I needed to distract him somehow, but I was struggling to even stay conscious at this point.

_ The only time I really talked to him at length was when he asked about telepaths… wait… he has lots of symbionts, avoids mecha, isn't comfortable in crowds… _

Too late.

_ But that can't… they died out and there's no way... Primus, that would explain why the government's interested in him. _

I put my screen in my hands. Well, now  _ he  _ knew.

_ Wait, would that mean he can read my thoughts? _

"Y-yes," I said. "Re-eal pleased wi-i-ith yourse-elf, aren't y-you? Mi-i-ight as we-e-ell just te-e-ell everyone."

"Who are you talking to?" Maccadam asked.

I pointed at Orion.

"I'm so sorry," Orion said. "I… It's really true?"

"Did you figure it out?" Ratchet asked him.

"Yes," Orion said.  _ And if I explain the situation…  _ "We need to talk to Alpha Trion. He can help. He has medical records for… uh…"

"He  _ does!? _ " Ratchet said. "Soundwave, did you know that?"

"Now I am really lost," Maccadam said. "What in the name of Primus Almighty are we all talking about?"

Ratchet and Orion looked at me. I hesitated. The pain was mostly gone, but I could still tell my processor had been damaged. Maccadam and Alpha Trion were the last two mecha who I wanted to tell, but if it was the only option for getting help…

"Soundwave?"  _ I  _ am _ going to tell them, unless you think we'll be able to get Crescent to help us. _

"Fi-i-ine."

"You had better explain it," Orion said to Ratchet. "I still don't…"

"No," Ratchet said. "First we need those files you said Alpha Trion has, and a trustworthy medic who knows what the pit he's doing. Explanations can happen later."

"Why don't you just give me the basics?" Maccadam asked. "I'll be able to help better if I know what I'm dealing with."

"He's a telepath," Orion said, "Right?"

Silence fell.

"He's…" Maccadam's gaze darted from Orion to me, then to Ratchet. "He's what?"

"A telepath," Ratchet said. "And I don't know what they did to him, but he needs a qualified medic  _ right now. _ "

Maccadam shook his helm. "How is that possible? Who are his creators?"

"He wasn't sparked that way," Ratchet said. "And didn't I say explanations can happen later?"

"Right," Maccadam said. "Leave Trion to me. Ratchet and Orion, take him down two floors to the first room on your left and wait there. Soundwave, you could have told me that."

But there had been no way for me to trust him. I couldn't hear his thoughts. I wondered if he knew that. I got up and walked with Ratchet and Orion supporting me between them. The room we went to turned out to be a small, but well-equipped medical office.

"What the frag is this doing here?" Ratchet wondered.

Orion shrugged.  _ Mac has a lot more below the oilhouse than most mecha know. I think there's even a spacebridge somewhere. _

A spacebridge?

"Who the pit is this mech, Orion?"

_ I guess Soundwave probably knows…  _ He looked at me.

I shook my helm. "I ca-a-an't hear his thoughts."

_ He does not sound good.  _ Orion thought. "You should sit down."

I didn't need to be told twice. I let them lead me over to the berth and sat, feeling exhausted.

"So he's like Alpha Trion?" Ratchet said.

I nodded.

"Soundwave can't hear everyone's thoughts. He can't hear Alpha Trion or apparently Maccadam."  _ That is strange. _

_ That's probably because they're some of the original thirteen…  _ Orion thought.  _ Oh no… well, I guess I've probably thought about that before, so Soundwave would already know. _

A sudden wave of dizziness washed over me and I nearly fell off the berth. Ratchet grabbed my arm.

"Lie down," Ratchet said.

I would have, but I suddenly couldn't control my limbs. I slumped forward instead and the last things I heard were Orion and Ratchet panicking.

* * *

When I came to, the room was full of comforting, familiar processors. Breeze sat nearby, drawing on a datapad, Ravage was curled up at my side, and Frenzy was clinging to my arm. Laserbeak hung from the ceiling above, and Rumble was sitting beside Frenzy, bored but unwilling to leave me. I lay still for a while. I felt all right, which was definitely an improvement on the last time I'd been conscious. I didn't quite feel like getting up though, especially since Ravage and Frenzy were both recharging.

So I waited for a while, listening to Breeze's mind wander as she sketched. She was drawing a big crystal formation. Sometimes the others had wondered why she liked to draw things she'd already seen, because you could always just bring up images of whatever you wanted from your long term memories. But it was the process she liked, not the product. It helped her relax and think.

She was currently reliving a conversation she'd had with Searchlight once about her home city. It was a fond memory, and she was at peace with it. I couldn't help but feel a little peaceful myself.

Then the memory ended and she stopped drawing, feeling suddenly lonely.

I reached down and gently stroked the tips of Ravage's audios. He woke and got up, and Breeze looked over in time to see me sit up as well.

"Soundwave!" She set the datapad aside and rushed over to embrace me, nearly knocking me over. "Are you feeling all right?"

I nodded. "I'm okay."

"Good," she said, backing away. "Oh, we were  _ so _ worried when you disappeared."  _ It was like Searchlight all over again… _

Memories bombarded me. Neurosis cutting open my helm, humming to himself as he thought about his other projects.

I shuddered.

_ Are you all right?  _ Breeze put a hand on my shoulder. "Soundwave..." she said.  _ Whatever happened, it's over, and you're okay now… _

I forced myself to relax a little, trying to think about something else. Ravage was watching me, concerned, but still mostly just happy that I was awake.

"They told me to let everyone know when you woke up," Breeze said.  _ But do you want a few breems to collect yourself before I go get everyone? _

"Yes," I said. 

Ravage curled up in my lap, purring.  _ Stop doing this, Soundwave. I don't want to deal with you dying again and again and again… _

"Sorry." I stroked Ravage's plating. "I don't mean to, I promise."

Breeze shuttered her optics and shook her helm.  _ I can still hardly believe this. Why does everything terrible happen to him? It's not fair. _

"I'm u-used to it," I said.

"You're…" she sighed and sat down again. "Well… you're repaired. They found a medic that Alpha Trion, trusts, and he and Ratchet fixed you. Oh, and I think you're even going to be able to go back to school, though I'm not sure how that's going to work."  _ I can't believe they actually know a mech on the Council. And Maccadam… this whole thing is insane. _

I was pretty sure I wanted to rest for a few decaorns first before going back to school but it was nice to know that was an option.

"Am I okay to go get everyone now?"

I hesitated. I did not want to tell them what had happened, but I'd probably have to eventually. So I nodded, and Breeze got up and left the room.

_ I'll be… _

My range didn't quite make it to the door which was smaller than its previous default. Someone had changed it. Well, of course, they must have gone in and done some repairs to my processor or I would still feel as if my helm was about to fall apart.

Less than a breem later, Breeze came back with Ratchet, Orion, Alpha Trion, Maccadam, Perceptor, and Cablereach. Surprised at the large audience, I didn't even register Maccadam's question until he asked it a second time.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank y-you," I said.

"Good," Ratchet said.

"So," Alpha Trion fixed his cold optics on me. "Let us make this brief. I have things I ought to be doing. First of all, I need to know what they did. According to my medic, it looked like someone had been poking around in your processor."

I looked down.

"Please, this is important," Alpha Trion said.

I took a deep vent, trying to ignore the sympathy I was getting from Breeze, Ratchet, and Cablereach. "They… they got that medic… Ne-eurosis. They wa-anted him to find out if I could re-eally read mi-inds, and if he-e-e could make mo-o-ore…"

"More telepaths?" Alpha Trion said.

"Wait, that  _ same  _ medic?" Cablereach said. "The one who…"

I nodded.

"And did he find what he wanted?" Alpha Trion asked.

I nodded again.

The Councilmech narrowed his optics. "I'll have to try to fix that now," he said, sounding annoyed. Then he frowned at me again. "I've made it possible for you to return safely to the Academy so long as you don't do anything foolish. I doubt they'll kidnap you, because that's hard to cover up and it sounds like they don't need you anymore anyway. But if anyone tries to arrest you again, contact me and  _ don't  _ go with them." He pulled a datapad from subspace and handed it to me. "This has my comm. codes and a few documents that might be of interest to you."

I accepted the datapad.

"And," he said. "I'd like you to come speak with me some time. Orion can help you set that up." He turned and left the room.

Breeze came over and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Soundwave," Perceptor said, approaching me as well. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let them take you…"  _ I can't believe I let this happen… _

"I'm okay now," I said. "Re-eally." I wasn't, but I  _ would  _ be. It wasn't like I'd never had anything traumatizing happen to me before.

"Why did they go after you  _ now  _ of all times?" Ratchet said.  _ I still don't understand. You've been here for half a term now and they didn't do anything before. _

Oh. Right. "Yeah…" I said. "I… ra-an into Verdict."

Ravage growled and Cablereach looked up sharply. "What?"

Perceptor frowned, confused. "Who?"

"I'll explain later," Cablereach said. "Soundwave…"

"He a-actually tried to hi-ire me," I said.

Cablereach shook his helm. "Primus, I can't believe… and then I suppose when you turned him down he must have gone to the Council."

I nodded. More or less.

"But… when did this happen? You should have told someone—we could have."

"I kno-ow," I snapped.

Silence fell.

"This is my fault then," Ratchet said. "Primus, I'm so sorry."  _ I’m the one who told them back in secondary school... _

I shook my helm, suddenly wanting them all to leave. "I'm tired," I said quietly.

"All right," Perceptor said. "We'll... let you rest then. Come on."  _ There are obviously still things I don't know about Soundwave's past… _

"I have homework to do anyway," Ratchet said. "And yes, you should rest."

"Thanks… Ratche-et?"

He looked away.  _ You can say it's not my fault all you want, and it won't change the fact that without me Verdict would never have known.  _ "I know."  _ I'll be back to check on you later and if you haven't rested, I'm going to put you back in stasis with my wrench. _

"It was good to see you, Soundwave," Cablereach said. "Though I wish it was under better circumstances. You know you can always contact me, whenever you like."

I nodded.

"Let me know when you're ready to come home," Perceptor said. He and Cablereach left, followed by Ratchet and Maccadam.

Home. I still wasn't entirely sure what that word meant. Home was Keepsake and Cam's house, or wherever my symbionts were. It would be nice to go back to Perceptor's house, though. I was comfortable there, and safe.

"I'm sorry, Soundwave," Orion said. He and Breeze were the last ones in the room. "I didn't mean to…"

"Figure it o-out? It's fine."

Orion nodded. "Thank you. I won't tell anyone… or at least I promise not to tell anyone on purpose."  _ I'm not very good at keeping secrets, but if someone's life is on the line, then I should be able to do it. _

I nodded my appreciation and he got up and left too.

"So," Breeze said quietly. "How are you actually doing?"

"I'm not ready for tha-at conversation," I said.

She nodded. "That's okay. I just… want to make sure you're going to be all right."

I nodded.

_ Is he really tired, or did he just want to get rid of everyone? _

"Both."

Breeze smiled, then looked down. "I wish Searchlight were here. He… always made everything better, you know."

I nodded.

"But… well… I probably shouldn't be bringing that up right now. And I should probably let you rest."  _ I have to get back home soon as well. We'll have to catch up some other time. _

"Breeze?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you… for coming."

She smiled.  _ I wasn't just friends with you mechs because of Searchlight. I'll always come if either of you need me. _

She left and I slipped back into recharge with my symbionts piled on top of me.

  
  



	52. Progress

I stayed at Maccadam's over the off-cycle, and the next orn my symbionts and I went back to Perceptor's house. The twins rode on my shoulders while Ravage loped along beside me and Laserbeak circled overhelm. My range was small, so it wasn't really a problem except that I kept wanting to stretch it out. Despite Alpha Trion's assurance that no one was going to kidnap me, it was hard not to glance over my shoulder once in a while.

Perceptor was in the living room, talking to Wheeljack and Shockwave when I showed up. They didn't notice me in the doorway at first.

"…but I can't do it… unless you have some I can borrow?" Wheeljack was saying hopefully.

"Isn't there some in the stockroom?" Perceptor asked.

"I'm not allowed to get chemicals from the stockroom anymore," Wheeljack said. "And Shockwave won't get it for me, because he doesn’t want to break the rules…"

"Is that so?" Perceptor raised an optic ridge.  _ Well, at least one of them cares about that. _

Wheeljack sighed, then looked up and saw me. "Soundwave! Are you okay? We were freaking out when you disappeared! What happened?"

I shrugged. The other two looked at me as well.

_ You should have let me know you were coming. Did you fly? No, you'd have walked because of your symbionts. You'd better not tell Ratchet that you walked all the way through the city.  _ Perceptor frowned at me.

_ He doesn't look damaged,  _ Shockwave thought.  _ I hope it wasn't too serious, whatever it was.  _ "Welcome back in any case," he said.  _ I was worried he had disappeared for good. From the way Ratchet and Perceptor were acting, I thought it must be something serious. _

"Welcome back," Perceptor said.  _ You should get some rest. _

"Are you all right?" Wheeljack asked again.

"I'm fine," I said.

"You should get some rest, though," Perceptor said out loud this time. "Let me know if you need anything."

I nodded, and took my symbionts to my room, but then I wandered back over to join Perceptor's conversation. By that point, Wheeljack was in the middle of an excited rant about his latest project. It sounded interesting—and dangerous enough that Perceptor and Shockwave were both trying to figure out how to talk him out of it.

I sat and listened, trying hard to feel like everything was back to normal. It was hard to feel safe, though. The Council knew where I lived. They could come and take me back to Neurosis if they wanted.

"So," Perceptor cut Wheeljack off at length. "Shockwave, what have you been up to recently?"

"I had a question for you, first," Shockwave said. "We were wondering if you still have our groundbridge."

"I do," Perceptor said. "It's in the basement. Why do you ask?"

"We were just wondering," Wheeljack said.

"It  _ is  _ illegal," Shockwave said regretfully. "We probably should have…"

"Would you like me to dismantle it?" Perceptor asked.

Wheeljack and Shockwave looked at each other. Neither of them really wanted it destroyed.

"It would be such a pity," Perceptor said. "It was a very fine piece of engineering, no matter your age, and you two were both still in secondary school. Just leave it in my basement for now. As long as no one uses it, it's no different than the rest of the scrap metal I have down there."

"All right," Wheeljack said cheerfully.

"Thank you," Shockwave said.

"So…"' Perceptor said. "My question from before: what have you been up to?"

"Well, my class load has been heavy," Shockwave said. "There are some things I'm working on, though…"  _ I get practically no recharge anymore… but this is what I decided, and I'm going to stick to it. _

"He's going to run for the Academy representative on the Council," Wheeljack said. "In two terms."

"Ah," Perceptor said.  _ Primus, that's ambitious. He's already double-majoring, and I don't know how he even has time for that… it's so dangerous in politics. I wish he wouldn't… _

Shockwave didn't miss Perceptor's expression. "You all know why I'm doing this. Yes, I'd rather just be a scientist, but… someone has to do something."  _ Searchlight was secretly murdered by the Council and I can't live with myself if I ignore that. That sort of thing  _ shouldn't  _ happen. _

He didn't think he'd enjoy the political field, but he was willing to make the sacrifice. Being around him and listening to his thoughts was enough to make anyone feel guilty for not fighting social ills.

At the same time, Shockwave was a special case. I wasn't sure anyone else really could have double majored in political science and engineering.

"And…" Shockwave admitted, standing up to leave. "I really do have things I need to do. It was good to talk to you."

Perceptor nodded, and Wheeljack contemplated staying to talk to the professor some more, but then decided to leave as well—he had lots of homework he'd been putting off.

Shockwave stopped in the door and looked back at me. "Soundwave, it's good to see you back."  _ Though I'm not sure I believe him about being all right. Hopefully whatever happened is over, at the very least. _

They left, and Perceptor sighed. "Soundwave, you really should get some rest."

I nodded, dragging myself to my pedes, then went to my room and collapsed on the berth.

Ravage hopped up next to me, worried. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I said, and almost really meant it. I wasn't even that tired, though I definitely still felt drained. Processor surgery wasn't the easiest thing to recover from.

I reached into subspace for my datapad and remembered I also still had one Alpha Trion had given me. I pulled it out and sat up as I turned it on.

As he'd said, it had his comm. codes in it, but it also had several files. I opened the first one, which turned out to be a brief note.

[Soundwave,

I learned from Ratchet that you have limited control over the range you can hear at. I couldn't find anything that specifically outlined how to manipulate it, but I've included some documents that might be relevant and helpful in figuring it out. In addition, feel free to ask me for any further information on that or related subjects. I'm willing to share as much as would be useful to you. However, I would appreciate it if you didn't show these things to anyone else. Good luck.

Alpha Trion]

I read the note a second time, then sat back. That was somewhat unexpected… back at Maccadam's he'd acted for all the world like he was upset with me for existing. And now he wanted to help me?

Oh well, I wasn't going to complain.

I got up and went to my desk to sit and read. Ravage, ever curious, and still feeling somewhat protective, came over to sit on my shoulders.

There weren't that many files, so it didn't take me very long. He'd included some medical diagrams that looked like they were from a textbook of some sort. They were interesting, but they'd definitely had things deleted from them. It also included a brief history of the role the telepaths had in the Quintesson wars which seemed to have been written by Trion himself and included a note of caution in the end, directed specifically to me. Apparently, if used for the wrong purposes, my ability to read minds could be dangerous. What a stunning revelation.

The most interesting file was one where Alpha Trion had included snippets from the journal of someone who'd been traveling with a telepath. Trion had only given me entries from the very few times they'd talked about the telepath's range, which was useful, but I wished there was more. I'd known for a while that telepaths had once existed, but it somehow felt more real now. There really had been mecha like me once.

When I'd gone through all the information, I sat on my floor in a meditative posture, thinking. I'd always imagined that my range was like a big glass bubble, and when I expanded it I was pushing outward on the smooth invisible walls.

I'd never been able to pull it back in. I now knew for certain that telepaths  _ had _ been able to do it, but from the information I'd been given, it seemed like it was natural, not something you had to think much about. And if that was the case, then why had I never done it on accident? I had only ever been able to expand my range.

Except once. Once, it had come back in, but that hadn't been me.

I tried to remember that anyway. Had I felt anything? I'd been a little preoccupied with my other troubles—I'd been stranded with Ravage on a cliff at the time—so I hadn't thought much about what my range had felt like.

I pushed my range out a little, really paying attention. And then I tried to bring it back in.

Nothing happened. I kept working at it, trying to figure it out, but all I managed to do was expand it so far that I could hear Perceptor in his lab. By then, I was exhausted, so I gave up and got a few joors of recharge before a nightmare woke me up again.

* * *

I stayed at Perceptor's house for the next orn, spending time with my symbionts, recovering, and mostly ignoring Breeze's insistence that I comm. her to talk. I didn't want to tell her how I was doing. What had happened with Neurosis had been awful, but I was pretty sure the memories would fade with time.

A few orns later, I went back to school. Now that I knew I  _ should  _ be able to shrink my range, I couldn't stop trying. I would sit in most of my classes, only half paying attention to the teacher, trying to find whatever the controls were in my processor to make my range shrink.

Mostly I just made it grow and ended up with processor aches.

About a decaorn after Alpha Trion had given me all that mostly-useless information on that datapad, I was sitting in one of my classes, keeping track of the number of mecha in my range. Classes were a good place for that since they were so tightly packed. They were also a bad place, because some of them were big lecture halls that could seat more than two hundred mecha and it was awkward getting up in the middle of class to leave, so sometimes I ended up stuck for the larger part of a joor with far too many other processors in my helm.

I was in one of those larger classrooms at the time, and I was about ready to give up. My base range had grown a lot in the past decaorn because I kept stretching it out. If I kept this up, I would start having problems again a lot sooner than I'd anticipated. Maybe Neurosis had missed something, and I actually couldn't control my range. I wouldn't be surprised. I wasn't sure where he'd gotten files about telepaths since he'd deleted all of his notes about the experiment from his processor, but they might have been flawed.

I tried to focus, tried to adjust everything, searching for controls that I didn't know about. The optical receptors on my screen went out of focus for an astrosecond when I accidentally changed their settings. Sometimes when I was calm, I almost thought my range had come in a little, so I tried not to get frustrated. My range went out a little farther, and I looked down at my desk. I'd have to stop soon or I'd get a processor ache.

Oh well.

I tried other things with the controls for my range. I imagined myself spinning my range, pulling it in, filling it up with silence. Nothing changed except that it got pushed out some more. I pretended I could go back in time and it would shrink again.

Then finally, frustration won out and I shoved my range out as fast as I could. I met with some sort of resistance, but my range did shoot out. My helm was suddenly filled with noise, and I felt a little dizzy. I stopped and gripped the desk. That had been stupid.

A good excuse to go home after this class and skip the rest of my classes this orn, but stupid nonetheless.

I tried to focus well enough to run a paragraph from the files Alpha Trion had sent me though my helm. The telepath in them had explaining to his friend how he controlled his range. He'd said something about blocking out the processors so he couldn't hear them. But if it was as simple as thinking about the noise going away, I would have figured it out a long time ago. With audios, you could change their settings so they picked up more or less noise, or you could change the range of frequencies they could hear. Maybe it was kind of like that.

I concentrated every last bit of spare processing power on trying to block out the outer edge of my range, but it just started spreading again.

And then it stopped.

I still felt like I was pushing my range out, but it wasn't getting any wider.

I stopped. That had been strange.

I was starting to get a processor ache already. That was a bad sign—normally it didn't happen that fast. I tried to do that again, but I just managed to push my range out even farther, until I could hear mecha out in the hallways as well.

And then it stopped again. I gripped the desk, trying to figure out what I was doing.

Then suddenly, blackness and silence closed in.

Pit, I'd passed out during class. I panicked for a moment. What if they took me to a hospital?

But… I could still feel my hands gripping the desk, and upon checking, most of my systems were still on.

My screen and my audios had turned off. I carefully turned them back on and sat up straight. A few mecha glanced at me, and I could only imagine they were wondering what was wrong, but I couldn't hear them.

Cautiously, I stretched my range out until I could hear the few mecha around me.

My helm throbbed, but I was excited. Whatever had happened, my range had been big and now it was small.

I didn't want to experiment any more at the moment, so I just sat, barely able to pay attention. I was so thrilled that I'd actually managed to shrink my range that I didn't even care about the pain I was in.

Unfortunately, after a few breems, my range started to grow again on its own, and by the time class was over it was large enough to be a problem. I left after that and went to Perceptor's house because I already had a processor ache, and I felt exhausted anyway.

I tried playing with my range a little there, but wasn't able to replicate what had happened in class, and so I gave up and did homework, but I was excited to tell Perceptor about my progress.

It took me several orns of constantly hovering on the edge of a terrible processor ache to figure it out. Shrinking my range was a completely different process, and the controls to shrink my range were much more sensitive than the ones to push it out. It was kind of like I had two ranges, not just one. The text had hinted that a telepath's actual range wasn't affected when they shrank it, which had confused me, but now I understood. It was like changing the frequencies your audios would pick up sound at. You could block out certain pitches if you wanted. In a similar way, I could block out the processors that were farther from me, even if they were within range.

It was still dangerous to push my range out too far, though, because sometimes I couldn't figure out how to shrink it and then I ended up with a processor ache.

But I kept practicing, and eventually I got the hang of it.

* * *

I held my range as small as possible as I walked through the crowded room to a desk. This was the first time I'd been to the testing hall for the purpose of taking a test. It had taken me a while to master it, but I could now make my range whatever size I wanted it.

Now I could be normal if I wanted.

The desk lit up as I sat down, and I typed in the information for the test I was taking. I still felt a little nervous with so many mecha around me, but I knew I wasn't going to get a processor ache. The test took a little longer than it should have, but that was all right, because I still couldn't get over the fact that I was sitting in a place I'd never thought I'd be able to sit, doing something that ought to have been causing me excruciating pain.

I had kept my range very small for a little while, but I found I was more comfortable most of the time when I could hear the processors closest to me. It was probably wrong of me, but I didn't feel safe talking to anyone if I didn't know what they were thinking.

When I was finished with the test, I went to the Hall of Records. I had a project for one of my classes that I needed to look something up for, but it was mostly an excuse to go see if Ratchet was there. I hadn't talked to him for a decaorn.

The term was nearly over.

A whole term. It hadn't been any shorter than the terms in secondary school, but it had gone by a lot faster for some reason. Another vorn and a quarter and there'd be no more school for me to go to. I'd have to find an actual career. It wouldn't be hard now. I had options. I had a future.

But I didn't know what to do with it.

Ratchet wasn't in the Hall of Records, but I found Orion re-shelving datapads on the second floor and went to talk to him instead. I liked to check in once in a while to make sure he hadn't spilled my secret. I was pretty sure I'd be able to tell if he had. If I was honest with myself, though, I did trust him, and I did like to talk to him, even if he was annoyingly nice. He still stubbornly spent a large portion of his salary buying candy for all of Iacon's beggar sparklings.

He turned as I approached, and smiled in greeting.

I nodded in return.

"Looking for something?"

"For Ratchet."

Orion nodded.  _ I haven't seen him. _ "So, what's new? I haven't seen you for a while. Finals are coming up, aren't they?"

I nodded. "I just took my first test in the testing hall."

"That's great!" He was honestly happy for me. "I guess things will get better for you from now on, right?"

"I doubt it," I said. "But thanks. How are you?"

"All right."  _ Not much has happened recently, besides the normal. Work is enjoyable as always. I'm getting really good at decrypting things… of course that's not the most important skill for a clerk… _ "We received a whole lot of encrypted files from a collector in Stanix who had some things dating back to the first Golden Age. Alpha Trion let me help with it. Primus, that was such a long time ago."

I nodded. There were no mecha left on Cybertron who’d been alive back then… well except maybe Alpha Trion and Maccadam. Even Yoketron wasn’t that old.

It had been most of a vorn since I'd seen Master Yoketron. His storm, whatever it was, hadn't come yet. I wondered where he was. Maybe over the break, I'd try to find him.

He knew Alpha Trion. I had picked up on the feeling that Yoketron and the old archivist didn't get along very well, which hadn't helped me want to trust Trion…

Maybe Orion would know him. "Orion, have you ever met a mech named Yoketron?"

Orion thought back, and I followed his memories back to three quarters of a vorn ago. He'd spoken to Yoketron.

"Yes," Orion said. "He came and talked to me once. He was an acquaintance of Alpha Trion's. I think Alpha Trion wanted him to do something, but he refused, and left. I'm not sure what happened there. I asked, but Alpha Trion wouldn't tell me. Do you know him?"

"He was a teacher of mine."

_ I know he fought in the Quintesson wars. I'd read about him, and after we met, I looked up some more things, hoping to figure out why Alpha Trion was being so secretive about it. There were some interesting stories… but I'm not so sure about that one memoir—all that about secret missions and traveling to the Core of Cybertron seems a little far-fetched. _

"I've wondered…" I said.

"Did you know much about him?"  _ That must have been amazing, listening to his thoughts. _

"He didn't think about the war much." But when he had, most of the memories hadn't been pleasant. 

"Did you know some accounts attribute Cybertron's victory almost entirely to him?" Orion said.

I shook my helm. I felt kind of bad asking questions about him. I knew enough to know how much he didn't want to be remembered for whatever he'd done in the war, and how he had tried to tone down his reputation as a brilliant teacher as well, turning down rich or brilliant students in order to work as an instructor at secondary schools.

"I can find you some of the… well, some of them are restricted, but I think I could…"

"No thanks," I said, and turned to wander away.

He watched me, feeling a little hurt for a moment, then turned back to his work, still thinking about Yoketron. I shouldn't have brought it up.

I went to find the reference I needed for my class. I had finally gotten it and was about to start heading to the front desk to check it out when a voice from behind startled me.

"I asked you to come speak to me."

I dropped the datapad I had been carrying, and had to scramble to catch it before it hit the ground. "Sorry," I said, standing slowly.

"Come to my office please," Alpha Trion said.

I hesitated and he started walking away, then stopped and turned around.

"It's impressive how you manage to turn into a mute statue whenever I try to have a conversation with you. But the trick is getting just a little old. Come on."

I followed him up several flights of stairs to his office, still feeling startled. I  _ hated  _ it when someone sneaked up on me like that. It would take joors for me to stop looking over my shoulder, even though the only other mech I couldn't read was Maccadam, and I'd never seen him outside of his establishment.

Alpha Trion gestured for me to go into his office. I didn't want to be alone with him. I knew it was an irrational fear, but I couldn't help it. At least Maccadam seemed to speak his processor most of the time. You never knew what Alpha Trion was thinking.

"So," he said, once we were in and the door was closed. He gestured for me to take a seat. "First question. Why are you so terrified of me?"

I sat down and he sat across from me.

"I can't re-ead your mind," I said.

"Ah. But you can't read Maccadam's either."

But he didn't look at you like you were a lifeless organic specimen he was trying to identify. "He's… friendlier?"

"Friendlier?" Alpha Trion raised an optic ridge. "Well, yes, I suppose I can see your point. But sparkling, I am not going to hurt you."

Nothing he could say would convince me not to be nervous around him. "I know."

"So. I told you to come speak to me quite a while ago."

I nodded. Did he want me to apologize?

Silence stretched out for an astrosecond, but then Alpha Trion shook his helm. "Well, no matter. Now you are here. Since I'm busy, and you obviously don't  _ want  _ to talk to me, I'll try to make this brief. Do you know where Neurosis got the information he used to make you a telepath?"

"No," I said.

"You didn't manage to pick that up?"

"He deleted his original notes fro-om his processor."

Alpha Trion scowled. "Very well… I'm still wondering whether he broke into my archives, or if perhaps there's another source… Oh well. Next question. I would like you to tell me when it was you spoke to Primus, and what he said to you."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because for one, I am curious and for another, I am afraid it may be very important. Primus does not speak often these orns."

I did not want to share that personal moment with this mech. But if he really  _ was  _ one of the original thirteen…

"Please, Soundwave. What did he say to you? It could be vital."

"You said it yourself, less than a breem ago," I said.

He frowned at me.

"It was just one word."

"What word?"

"Sparkling."

Alpha Trion looked at me for a moment, as if trying to decide whether I was telling the truth. Then he slumped back in his chair with a sigh.

"I was do-oing something stupid," I said. "Expanding my range too far. And all of a sudden I heard it and my range was small again. That's all he said. Sparkling. And the voice was… so-orrowful."

Alpha Trion nodded.

"Do you know why?"

"Many things are written in the Covenant," Alpha Trion said, and he smiled in an almost amused-looking way. "Even I do not understand them all, and it was through me that Primus  _ wrote  _ the Covenant. I will have to think about that, but no, I don't know why Primus spoke to you."

I thought for a moment, then decided to ask another question. "Do you know why he was so sad?"

Alpha Trion looked down. "Primus made all of us. Our sparks are tied to his, and he cares for us deeply. Soundwave, as I understand, you have gone through much hardship, and doubtless you will go through much more. Primus mourns for those who suffer."

Another reason I didn't like him as much as Maccadam. Mac was very straightforward when you asked him a question he didn't think you should know the answer to. Alpha Trion said something vague and useless instead. He hadn't felt what I'd felt. I was pretty sure no one could be  _ that  _ mournful about one stupid youngling who got processor aches once in a while.

"I took the liberty of speaking to your friends about you. They all think very highly of you and your character." He studied me, and I thought I might have seen a little uncertainty in his optics.

I reveled in the fact that while I couldn't read his processor, he couldn't even read my expression.

"So I have hope that you'll deal with your abilities well. But I want you to be careful." He leaned forward, expression darkening. "Your abilities afford you a lot of power, and power has a nasty habit of corrupting the best mecha. I warn you, Soundwave, if you abuse what you can do, you will answer to me, and I will have it taken away from you."

I held very still, trying to look calm. If he wanted to help me get over my fear of him, he was doing it wrong.

"There," He leaned back. "You've been warned. You know, I think you've done quite admirably so far. Just keep it up and stay close to your friends and you should be fine. Be on your guard, though. Perhaps when Primus spoke to you, he was trying to warn you of something. He does not speak without some sort of reason."

"Can I go?"

"One or two more things, and then yes. Are you in full control of your range now?"

"Yes."

"Good. Be careful with that. You may hear things you do not wish to hear. Also, is there anyone else you can't read?"

"No."

"Just Maccadam and I?"

"Tha-at's right."

"Well, let me know if you run into anyone else. Especially one with violet optics. We think he's back on Cybertron, but we haven't been able to find him."

That was… ominous.

"Also, do you think Neurosis might try to make more telepaths?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm… I haven't been able to find out where he is either. According to the public records, he was executed."

"He was working on another project," I said. Something really,  _ really  _ bad—something I occasionally woke up from nightmares about, even though I'd only picked up a few details.

"If you can give me a location, I can try to hunt him down."

"Um… Altihex?"

Alpha Trion's optics widened a little, then he looked off to the side. "Well then…"

I hated not knowing what he was thinking.

"Thank you. I'll let you know if I make any headway, but I wouldn't count on it. Now, do you have any burning questions for me?"

"Wi-ill you answer them?"

"That depends entirely on the question."

Which meant no, unless they were useless questions.

"But feel free to  _ ask  _ me anything."

I shook my helm.

"No questions at all?"

"One," I revised, remembering my conversation with Orion. "Do you know where Master Yoketron is?"

He actually looked surprised. "Now, that was not the sort of question I was expecting. Why do you want to know that?"

"He was my teacher." I said. "I haven't seen him for a while."

"I believe he does not want to be disturbed," Alpha Trion frowned. "He would rather waste time pondering his place in the universe than fulfill his duty. I don't know where he is. My best guess would be Simfur. If you do happen to go there and find him, you can tell him to come back here. We are rapidly running out of time."

"For what?"

"You didn't pick it up from his thoughts, Soundwave? He has a job to do, at the leading edge of a great tragedy that is too late to avert. And if we don't get things moving soon, we're going to lose everything."

"Yoketron called it a storm."

Alpha Trion snorted. "He doesn't want to call it what it really is."

If I had been talking to anyone else, I would probably know exactly what he meant by that. But if he didn't want to explain this to me, there was nothing I could do about it. Was this how most mecha felt when someone was refusing to answer their questions?

"If that is all, you can go. I'm sorry you have a difficult time trusting me. Fate has not conspired in favor of us getting along, has it? I seem to have been associated so far with trouble in your life."

He had. The first time I'd met him had been the orn Searchlight had been imprisoned. I nodded.

"Go on. I'm sure you have other things to do, what with finals coming up."

I nodded and got up to leave. I checked out the datapad I needed, and left the archives. Maybe I could talk Ratchet into returning it once I was done with it. I definitely didn't want to go back in there any time soon.


	53. The Coming Storm

Finals went well. I no longer had to worry about the mecha around me, and I even managed to resist the temptation to cheat when I couldn't figure out the answers.

After thinking about it for a while, I'd decided to go to Simfur and see if I could find Master Yoketron over the break. When I told Perceptor about it, he volunteered to watch my symbiotns for me. I left Laserbeak and the twins with him, but decided to bring Ravage. We took a groundbridge, which was actually not that much more expensive than taking a mass transit because Simfur was all the way on the other side of the planet. It would probably take orns to get that far by mass transit anyway.

It was bright and sunny the orn I left Perceptor's house and walked to the groundbridge station. The city was truly brilliant in all of its reflected light and bright golden towers. Other cities had come and gone, had fallen and been rebuilt, but the buildings in Iacon had weathered the Quintesson wars, and probably wars before that. Now, in the height of the Golden Age, it stood proudly, ancient and wise, almost as if it had a spark of its own. Despite everything—despite Searchlight being offlined here and the Council being corrupt and all of the poverty in the suburbs and slums, Iacon was still a wonder.

Simfur was a very different sort of wonder. It was also a very old city, though the central sector had been rebuilt several times between wars. It also boasted the largest temple of Primus in the world, in which they kept the Allspark… or that was what mecha said. That had always confused me a little because the Allspark was also supposed to be in the Well of Allsparks.

The buildings were painted lighter, softer colors than Iacon's ostentatious gold. They were mostly white and silver with the occasional light gray, green or blue. It had the effect of making the place feel quiet, clean, and peaceful. The crowds were less noisy too, which was nice. Of course I was getting to the point with my range when I barely had to think about moving it in order to avoid mecha I didn't want in my helm.

"So" Ravage said, "How are you going to find him?"

He'd been asking the question silently for a while, but I hadn't answered. I wasn't really sure. Central Simfur was large and crowded, and he could be anywhere in it, or even in a different sector. He might not even really be in Simfur. If I'd been able to hear Alpha Trion's thoughts, I'd probably have a better idea where he was.

If I pushed my range out far enough, I might be able to find him. That wasn't really healthy, but so long as I didn't keep it out too long I'd be fine.

_ Soundwave? You aren't going to expand your range to find him… _

First, I would want a map of the city. I could go to places he was more likely to be and expand my range there first.

"I just want to try it and see if it works." I said. "I can always bring my range back in."

"But you could hurt yourself..." Ravage dug his claws into my shoulders.

"I'll be fine." I accessed a public database and found a map. Yoketron would be staying somewhere quiet, somewhere out of the way, or maybe not. Maybe he'd be somewhere close to the temple. I walked in that direction. I wanted to see the temple anyway. I'd seen images and holograms of it, but images never did anything justice.

_ This isn't the sort of thing you normally do,  _ Ravage thought.  _ Go find someone without anyone having told you to… _

"I don't know if Yoketron knows about Searchlight," I said. And I was curious about what it was Alpha Trion wanted him to do, not to mention a little bit worried.

The temple was, as I'd expected, more spectacular than any representation I'd seen of it. I hadn't expected the  _ feeling  _ though. I could  _ feel _ the Allspark, like a persistent sort of humming in the back of my processor. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was unpleasantly strong. If I pulled my range in as close as I could, the feeling mostly went away, but with my range too small, I felt blind. I decided I wasn't going to stay here long, but I could go ask the guards at the front if they'd seen Yoketron.

As I approached, the guards at the front doors both prepared to tell me I couldn't bring Ravage into the temple. I went up to the one who felt more sorry about it.

"Excuse me," I said before he could speak, "But I was wondering if you've heard of someone named Yoketron being here?"

"Uh…" An image of Master Yoketron flashed in his processor. Yes, he had been here. "He's here sometimes."  _ He comes and talks to the temple guardians fairly frequently… _

I nodded, then turned and left. From both of them I'd managed to pick out enough. The guards at the door knew and recognized him and he'd been here recently. The question was where did he come  _ from?  _ I did not want to sit and wait for him at the temple. Even with my range as small as I could make it, I was a little uncomfortable. It was strong enough that other mecha around me could feel it too, to some degree. But what was distant and pleasant for them was overwhelming for me.

Maybe Yoketron was somewhere nearby. Flying in this part of the city wasn't allowed, so I walked.

I reached out with my range to the point where I was feeling dizzy, then pulled it back. Then I walked some more. I went in a spiral, using the temple as a center point because it was the center of the city. I pushed my range out every once in a while so I could cover the city, piece by piece. Ravage assumed that was what I was doing, though he didn't ask. He was still worried, but he didn't say anything. I'd only spiraled around three times before I found Yoketron, at the edge of my range, meditating. I brought my range back in and changed direction.

Even though I couldn't hear his thoughts, I could understand why Alpha Trion had threatened me. I was more powerful than most mecha realized, especially now that I had control of my range. I could find anyone, just by knowing what city they were in. I could discover any secret, so long as it was known by someone I could read. I could become very dangerous. It was a little intimidating, especially since I knew the government knew who I was. Alpha Trion had scared them off, somehow, but they did know.

And even without being forced to, it would be easy to abuse my power. I was already doing it to some extent. I didn't  _ need  _ to talk to Master Yoketron. In fact, there was a distinct possibility that he wouldn't want to see me. And even though I  _ did  _ want to let him know about Searchlight, I also had questions for him. He had been intending to teach one more student, and from the timing and what Alpha Trion had said, it seemed like it might have been Orion. Why Orion?

It was none of my business, of course. Maybe I shouldn't go talk to him. I stopped.

Ravage, who'd been nodding off looked up.  _ Didn't you find him? Isn't that why you changed directions? What's wrong? _

"Nothing."

Now that I was here and I had found him, I didn't want to leave. It had been a long time and I missed him. I was making progress too. I didn't have much time to practice, with school, and I had no one to spar with, but I was getting a lot better at meditating since I'd learned to pull my range in.

I was going to talk to him. I wasn't intending to do anything bad with the information I picked up from the conversation.

I wouldn't even ask him about Orion. I wouldn't ask him anything I didn't think he'd want to answer. I'd just go make sure he knew about Searchlight, and thank him again for being such a wonderful teacher.

I kept going.

The building he was in was very large. Some reasonably well-off mech lived here. Interesting. I hesitated, then requested entry.

The mech who owned the entire ground floor came to get the door.

"Good orn," he said. "Can I help you with anything?"  _ I wonder if he's another beggar, or if he's lost.. _

"I'm looking for Master Yoketron," I said quietly. "I'm a former student."

"Oh," he said. He was an old student as well, and he'd been letting Yoketron stay in his home. "He isn't available to talk at the moment."

"That's fine. I'm willing to wait."

The mech still stood in the doorway, watching me with a little suspicion still. "Why are you looking for him?"

"I just… I'm one of his most recent students. He left my school suddenly and I haven't seen him since. I heard somewhe-ere that he was here, and came looking for him. I just wanted to talk to him."

_ It's hard to tell if he's sincere since he's got that mask on.  _ "What is your designation?"

"Soundwave."

"Oh. He told me about you."  _ This is that student whose friend died. Master Yoketron was devastated to hear that. He very nearly left Simfur to find this mech. Seeing him will hopefully settle the Master's spark about that matter. He's certainly been troubled about something.  _ "You can come in and wait for him if you like."

I followed him inside, reaching up to touch Ravage's paw, signaling that he needed to stay on my shoulders and on his best behavior while we were here.

"I'm Vanguard," the mech said. "He taught me as well."

I nodded. "It's good to meet you."

"Yes," he agreed. "Any true student of Master Yoketron is a friend of mine."

I nodded again.

"He is meditating now, and I don't want to disturb him. He's been troubled recently."

"Why?" I asked, pushing my range out to where I could hear Yoketron.

"I don't know the entirety of it, but he's told me he won't be teaching any more. I think he misses it already."

"He said something similar when he left my school," I said. "I'm worried."

"So am I," Vanguard admitted quietly. "But I'm sure he'll be happy to see you. How far did you get in your training?"

We spoke a little more, but then Yoketron, deep in a contemplation and in tune with the universe, sensed me by virtue of the fact that I had once heard the voice of Primus, and was pulled from his meditative state. He got to his pedes thoughtfully and came to find us.

I waited to look up until he was in the doorway.

"Soundwave."

Vanguard looked up as well. "Oh. Master Yoketron. Soundwave here showed up at the door and asked to see you. I wasn't sure, but I thought I'd be polite and let him in."  _ I hope this doesn't bother him. _

Yoketron's surprise melted away, and a smile broke across his faceplate. "I certainly did not expect to see you here." He crossed the room and put a hand on my arm, looking up at my screen.  _ The last time I saw him he was only a little taller than me.  _ "You came and found me again. So many of my students just disappear into their own lives once I am finished teaching them."  _ I thought Soundwave would be one of those, especially since…  _ He looked down."I heard about Searchlight."

I bowed my helm as well. "I came, in part, to tell you if you hadn't."

"What happened?"

"He…" I had failed him. "He said the wrong things to a senator. I wasn't there to stop him."

Master Yoketron shuttered his optics.

Vanguard looked up.  _ Primus, does that mean what it sounds like it means?  _ "Where was this?" he asked.

"Iacon," Master Yoketron said. "Wasn't it?"

I nodded.

"He was far too reckless… of course that does not excuse the Council." Master Yoketron sighed.  _ Justice is dying. I have a duty, but my spark is still too troubled. I don't want to help start the war. I don't want to believe it's inevitable... But I shouldn't be worrying about this right now.  _ "It is very good to see you in any case," Master Yoketron said. "You must tell me how you have been."  _ I wanted to come make sure he was all right after I heard about Searchlight, but I never did. He looks well enough. Calmer than I've seen him sometimes in the past. Perhaps more focused. _

"I spent a whole quarter of a vorn moping," I admitted. "But then I decided to go to school again. The Iacon Academy accepted me."

"Are you going into technology?"

I nodded.

"A good field. Not many mecha to practice Circuit-Su with though."

I shook my helm. "But… meditating has become easier."

He was a little surprised by that news. "That is good."  _ I wish it was easier for me right now.  _ "Come with me."

I followed him out of the room.

_ I have not given instruction for a long time. Perhaps I shouldn't but I do miss having students so very much.  _ "You wouldn't mind if I judge for myself how well you have been practicing?"

"I would be honored." I hadn't even hoped for this. He led me into the room he'd been meditating in.

"Please be seated. You must begin by meditating. Do you have any time constraints?"

"No."

"Can I watch?" Ravage asked.

"You may, if you are quiet," Master Yoketron said. "Go sit by the side of the room."

Ravage obediently leaped off my shoulders and headed for the side of the room. I turned off my screen, pulled in my range, and listened.

Hearing the universe was a very different experience from reading a mind. It was not distracting, but clarifying. And I could sometimes even tell things like whether someone had spoken to Primus. Yoketron had. He almost never thought about it, though, so I still had questions about it.

"You are right. You have improved." Master Yoketron said. I couldn't hear his thoughts because I had pulled my range in, but I wasn't startled by his words, because I could feel him there. As soon as I thought about that though, I lost my focus.

"Be still," Master Yoketron said, and I complied, letting my thoughts settle again.

After meditating with me for nearly half a joor, Master Yoketron stood.

"Let us begin," he said. "You learned much in the terms I trained you, but there is still much to learn. Your strength is in defense. Because it has been so long, let's begin with some of that…"

We fell easily into training. I was terribly out of practice. I had been meditating some, but mostly just on campus in between classes. Having Rumble and Frenzy in the room was not conducive to that sort of thing.

It was also hard not to think about Searchlight. The entire reason I'd trained with Yoketron in the first place was because it was something my best friend had wanted to do.

We were both tired when we finished.

I thanked him for his instruction, and he smiled and accepted my thanks, but added onto the end, breaking with tradition.

"I also thank you. It is a pleasure to teach and you cannot know how much I have enjoyed training you."

I could, actually, and did.

"Though," he said, and guilt colored his emotional core. "Perhaps I should be training someone else." An image of Orion came into my processor.  _ But no, he was not ready a vorn ago, and I doubt he is ready now. _

So it  _ was  _ Orion.

_ I also am not ready. But I must be ready before it is too late. This orn, though, perhaps I can put that aside. _

"Master Yoketron," I said, now feeling guilty as well, because he had answered the question I had told myself I wasn't going to ask.

"Yes?"

I found that I didn't have anything to say. I wanted to apologize, but he wouldn't understand unless I explained the whole thing to him, and I didn't want to worry him with my secrets now, even though I definitely trusted him enough to tell him.

"I see you are troubled," he said. "Please speak, Soundwave."

"You won't teach anymore?" I asked.

"No," Master Yoketron said. "Perhaps one more student."

"And then what?" I asked.

"We shall see," Master Yoketron said.  _ I am so tired of this life, of watching mecha suffer, of being left behind… _ "There is a possibility I will go back to teaching in the future, but then again, maybe not. Now, I am afraid I have kept you here entirely too late."

Vanguard, who had heard the tail end of the conversation, came around the corner. "Soundwave, would you like to stay here for the off-cycle?"

"Thank you," I said. "I would be very grateful."

"I'll get a room ready," he said.

"How are your other friends?" Master Yoketron asked.

"Ratchet is working hard in school," I said. "Probably too hard, but it's how he copes. Breeze is moving forward. She… misses Se-earchlight more than she says."

Master Yoketron nodded. "He had such a brilliant spark. I am so sorry..."  _ It shouldn't have happened, but he knows that. There's probably not much I can say about it that he hasn't already thought through.  _ "There's so much darkness in this world isn't there? And it never quite seems to go away, no matter what you do."  _ Even in the vorns after the Quintesson wars, it lingered like a blight. Greed, corruption, lies... There were good Primes and bad Primes, and then I was worried when the Councils took over, but that seemed to work for a while...  _ "I am afraid things will not get better. If anything, they are likely to get worse. The Council may be beyond saving, and if things continue… there may be war."

_ There  _ will  _ be war. I am so sorry… _

"Master Yoketron?"

"Yes, Soundwave?"

"If… If there is war, then there is war. You sound so… troubled about it. It isn't like you could stop it."

_ Oh, mechling, you have no idea what war is.  _ "No," Master Yoketron said, trying to banish the memories creeping into the back of his processor. "I doubt I can stop it. But I am obligated to play a role in it. It is complicated and not something for you to worry about."  _ Though the war will be all of ours, including his. _

Maybe a war would be good, provided that the Council was destroyed. Of course, I wasn't one to talk. Yoketron had  _ seen  _ war, and he was terrified of it.

I still wanted to know where they were getting this idea. I'd tried reading the Covenant of Primus, but it had been about as vague and useless as talking to its author.

Yoketron and I spoke a little more. He asked me how I had managed to find him, and so I ended up telling him that I knew Orion and Alpha Trion. I lied, though and told him that Trion had given me his exact location. The idea that the old mech was keeping track of him irritated Yoketron. I hoped he never talked to Alpha Trion about it.

Eventually, we ran out of things to say and Vanguard came to take me to my room.

I left early the next on-cycle. Yoketron met me at the door.

"Good luck," he said. "Keep Searchlight with you in your spark."

I nodded. "Thank you. Master Yoketron?"

"Yes?"

"Whatever it is that you need to do that is troubling you, I'm sure you can do it."

He smiled. "Thank you. Your faith in me means a lot."

"Thank you for your instruction."

"It was an honor to teach you."

"Not as much as it is an honor to learn from you."

Master Yoketron bowed deeply and I did so as well. Then I left.

I made it back to Iacon, at least satisfied that he was in good health, though my questions had been multiplied by his troubled spark and incomplete answers.


	54. Ambitions

I'd promised everyone energon goodies if they behaved while I was in Simfur. They had not, not even Laserbeak, and the whole ground floor of Perceptor's house was a mess. I put the twins in my room and left Ravage to make sure they stayed there, then went to apologize and help Perceptor clean up.

He brushed off my apology. "I stopped paying attention to them and well… it was partially my fault. Did you find your teacher?"

I nodded.

"And how was he?"

"All right," I said. "He'd heard about Searchlight."

Perceptor nodded.

I got a comm. from Orion. That was strange—he'd never commed me before.

_ "Hey, Soundwave, this is Orion…" _

I hadn't even known he had my codes, though I had his. I responded silently.  _ "Hi?" _

_ "Can you come over here and convince Ratchet not to drop out of the Academy?" _

Ratchet had had more finals than me, and probably hadn't finished them until earlier this orn. Had they gone  _ that  _ badly? That was hard to believe.  _ "What?" _

_ "He's really upset. I think he just needs time to cool down, but he's talking about quitting." _

_ "Okay. I'll be there soon."  _ I cut the comm. and spoke out loud. "Perceptor?"

"Yes?"

"I'm going out. Ravage will keep the twins in my room."

"You're going out again?"

"Ratchet's having some sort of breakdown in the Hall of Records."

"Ah."  _ I hope he's all right. _

I hurried to the Hall of Records to find Ratchet and Orion up in Orion's office. Ratchet stopped mid-rant when I came in. Orion, having never been on the wrong end of one of Ratchet's tantrums before, was somewhat worried for the orange and white mech's sanity.

"Soundwave!" Ratchet said.  _ You will not believe... _

"What happened?" I asked, trying to make sense of his furious thoughts.

"The department are slagging murderers is what happened! I got in to take my practical final and they had a slagging  _ mech  _ in there, dying."

I tilted my helm to the side, not entirely sure what he was talking about. "What?"

"It wasn't a drone, it was a mech!"

"Oh..." During a practical exam, they usually had a lifelike, badly damaged drone for him to fix. If he managed to save the drone and do everything properly, he passed.

I could just imagine Ratchet walking in to see a half-dead real mech lying on the operating table.

"And they fragging expected me to repair him!"

"Did you?"

"Of course I did, he was  _ dying!  _ It took me a breem to figure out he was poisoned, but… gah! I cannot believe they would  _ do  _ that! I can't go to this Primus-cursed school if they do things like this! I won't be a part of it! There's no way that mech's poisoning was some sort of accident. They  _ poisoned  _ him, and he was going to  _ die  _ frag it!"

I wasn't sure what to say.

"And it's not just me! They do that to every single medical student! Part of the Primus fragged medic code is a vow to heal and never harm. I'm not sure how they think they can get around that!"

"He went to the head of department," Orion said quietly, "And they told him it was part of the learning experience, and that if he couldn't handle it, he didn't belong in the medical program."

"And I'm going to quit!" Ratchet said. "I can't stay in this slagging Academy one term longer, not after I know they're willing to do  _ that  _ to mecha. It's murder!"

"Ratchet…" I said.

"Don't try to talk me out of this you faceless coward!"

"Ratchet…" Orion said.  _ That was kind of hurtful. _

"Can you take this to someone in a-authority?"

"They got the mech from a prison," Ratchet said. "He was on death roll. No one fragging cared if he died!"  _ It could have been Searchlight. That sort of thing could have happened to Searchlight.  _ "They're going to execute him anyway."  _ I spent a joor saving him and those fraggers are going to kill him anyway. _

"I'm really sorry," I said, understanding his acute misery better than I wanted to.

"You're sorry!" Ratchet snarled at me. "Sorry about what! That I'm upset? No one cares about  _ anything  _ anymore, and if you do, they make you disappear! So you can fragging shut up, Soundwave. You've never stood for anything in your life!"

"Ratchet, calm down," Orion said.

"I will not! I just saved the slagging life of someone they're going to execute in a few orns!" He picked up a datapad and threw it. It would have hit the wall, but I reached out and caught it. "If this is what being a medic is, I  _ don't  _ want to DO IT! And you can frag off, Orion. You don't understand!" He buried his faceplate in his hands.

_ "He gets like this sometimes."  _ I said to Orion over an internal comm.

_ "I'm really sorry he said all that stuff to you." _

_ "It's okay. I know he doesn't mean it."  _ It did hurt, but I didn't need to admit that.

"I'm not going back next term," Ratchet grumbled, but I could tell the tantrum was dying out now.

"You don't want to quit," I told him, then waited patiently while he shouted profanities at me because he knew I was right.

Orion worried about what Alpha Trion would think, should he show up.

Eventually Ratchet calmed down enough to demand to know just exactly why I thought he didn't want to quit, and just how I thought he could justify that when his teachers and the department administration were condoning murder.

I shrugged. "Orion, can we go to Maccadams?"

"I'm not going there!" Ratchet said. "I want an answer, Soundwave. Give me one reason I shouldn't quit!"

"Think about it for a few orns before you make a decision," I said, then spoke over the private comm.  _ "Orion, we should go to Mac's, and talk to your sparkling horde on the way." _

Orion nodded.  _ I get it. Okay, yes.  _ "I think going to Maccadams is a good idea. Or at least getting some fresh atmosphere. Come on, Ratchet."

"I'm not going! Fresh atmosphere indeed. There's so much pollution you can barely vent in this city."

"Please?" I said.

"Why do you care!"

I froze. I had asked Searchlight that question so many times. Enough times that I knew the answer. "Because I'm your friend."

"Hmph," Ratchet said. "You know what I'm like when I'm overcharged."

"We don't have to get anything," Orion said. "Let's go."

Ratchet grumbled on the way out of Orion's office and muttered to himself as we left the Hall of Records.

We made Orion's typical stop to the vendor he got his energon goodies from. As usual, the mech offered to give him a discount, but he refused, despite the fact that he really could have used a discount.

Along the way, we were apprehended by even more sparklings than usual. They all wanted to tell Orion everything they'd done in the past few orns, and he was very happy to listen to them.

We came to a large group of them playing a game with a makeshift ball. They stopped and ran over to crowd around Orion. He knelt down to be closer to them and even so he was considerably taller than the group of shouting, excited mechlings. He couldn't have been happier. Ratchet, on the other hand, just crossed his arms and scowled at them to warn them away from him.

One of the sparklings had a lame hand. I'd been hoping he'd be here, and he was. Orion called him over.

"Hey Factor," he said, holding out an energon treat. "How's your hand? Doing any better?"

"I can move some of the fingers a little," He held it up and focused really hard on it. "See?"

I hadn't seen anything move.

"That's really good."

Ratchet shot a knowing look at me.  _ You are not getting away with this, you sneaky glitch. _

Wasn't I?

"Move," Ratchet shoved through the crowd. Factor put his hand down and backed away, frightened. "Let me see that."

The sparkling held his hand close to himself and shook his helm.

"Factor," Orion said. "This is Ratchet. He's training to be a medic. Can he look at your hand? He'll be gentle."

The sparkling looked down, then cautiously came forward. The others all watched with bright, interested optics as Ratchet carefully took the hand in his, and studied it.

"How long have you not been able to move it?"

"I broke it and it never got better."

"When did you break it?"

The sparkling shrugged. "Dunno,"

"Does it hurt?"

"Not real much."

Ratchet spread the fingers out gently and the sparkling winced as the joints grated a little from rust and disuse. Ratchet had a low-level scanner, which he used to determine the problem. The little mech's self-repair systems had misconnected some of the wires in his wrist.

If he wanted to fix the problem properly, he'd need things he didn't have, but he could just try to swap the wires. It wouldn't be hard.

"Shutter your optics, okay?"

"Why?"

"I… I'm going to do a magic trick. It'll hurt just a tiny bit, but at the end, I'll make Orion give you two more energon treats."

"Okay." Factor was a little hesitant, but Orion smiled encouragingly at him, so he shuttered his optics and put his free hand up to cover them as well.

Ratchet pulled a hooked tool out of subspace and slid it between the plates of the sparkling's wrist. The others all watched, wide-opticed and Factor flinched but didn't pull away.

"Just hold still," Ratchet said as he scanned the wrist again to see where he was aiming for. He used the hook on the end of the tool to disconnect the wires and then push them into the proper place. The sparkling was in pain, but he held obediently still, and it wasn't that much worse than it felt whenever he accidentally hit his damaged hand against something.

"Okay," Ratchet pulled the hook back out.  _ His self-repair can take it from there. _

Factor unshuttered his optics, then held up his hand. The ends of his fingers twitched, and he gasped, then slowly made the hand into a fist.

"Thank you!" he jumped at Ratchet and threw his arms around the other mech's neck. Ratchet pushed him off and backed away. "It's nothing," he muttered.

"Look!" Factor held up his hand, wiggling his fingers. The others cheered.

"Don't do that so much right away!" Ratchet snapped. "You'll hurt yourself."

"That was amazing, Ratchet," Orion said.

"Anyone could have done it," Ratchet insisted.

_ Sure,  _ Orion thought.  _ I got lots of mecha to look at that hand and they either said they couldn't figure out what was wrong, or that you'd have to take him to a real medic, which would cost a lot. I guess Ratchet is a real medic, though. _

"All right," Ratchet said quietly. "Is anyone else hurt?"

He got to pop out a few dents and tighten a few joints. Orion was happy about that, because they were all scared of medics, but they didn't seem to mind Ratchet.

Ratchet, for his part, felt a sort of sudden intense concern for them. Maybe too intense. I understood why he didn't want to be a practicing physician. He cared too personally about everything.

But he also didn't want to quit, and he wouldn't. Everything he'd said about the mecha who'd prepared that test had been true, but he wasn't going to let it prevent him from learning medicine.

We didn't end up going to Maccadam's after all. When Orion's supply of energon goodies was exhausted, we headed back to the Hall of Records.

"I won't quit," Ratchet said. "But I'm worried. If they're willing to do such unethical things… I want to go into research. By the time I get there, will whatever I do help anyone, really? Those sparklings certainly won't benefit from any research I do. Medicine is getting more expensive. Everymech wants to get rich…"

"Ratchet," Orion said. "You can  _ always _ find ways to help mecha. Don't worry."

"Orion," I suddenly remembered what Yoketron had said. "Do you think things can continue the way they are? With so much… of this sort of thing?"

"I don't know," Orion said.

"I don't think so," Ratchet put in. "Someone's bound to step up eventually. Maybe it would have been Searchlight, if he hadn't…"

I nodded. "Do you think there'll be a war?"

"A war?" Ratchet asked. "Where the frag did you get that idea? Who's fighting who? A war? Primus, Almighty that's the stupidest thing I think I've ever heard."

"Alpha Trion thinks we might have a war," Orion said. "If things keep getting worse and the Council keeps getting more corrupt. Eventually, mecha will stop putting up with it. But I don't think it will get to the point of an actual  _ war _ , especially if we can push for peaceful social change."

"Hmph," Ratchet said. "What do you mean 'we?' You're a librarian, Orion, not a politician."

"Do you know Shockwave?"

"Yes," Ratchet said. "Though I haven't talked to him for quartexes."

"He's going to run for a position on the Council as the new representative of the Academy."

"But he's just a student," Ratchet said. "Are you sure?"  _ Why didn't I know about this? _

"Yes," Orion said. "I'm going to help him with his campaign, and you two should as well. He can definitely use all the help he can get. Are either of you doing a lot over the break?" Orion asked.

Ratchet and I looked at each other.

I shook my helm.

"Then you can help," Orion said. It'll be great. Shockwave will be really grateful. Ratchet, you used to want to go into politics, didn't you?"

"I took a lot of classes if that's what you mean," Ratchet said.

"And I picked up things…" I said. "From Searchlight."

I had been present for most of his homework and had heard enough to be at least somewhat helpful in organizing a political campaign.

"Would you like to help him?"

I nodded. I would be perfectly happy to try to get Shockwave on the Council. He was a good mech, the sort of mech who might actually get things done and push for the right kinds of changes.

"All right, I guess," Ratchet said. "But I do need to start studying for next term at some point."

"You have twelve decaorns off," Orion said.  _ He just finished his finals, and he's already thinking about studying? _

That was Ratchet for you.

"In any case," Orion said. "I'll let Shockwave know, and then I'll let you both know when we're going to meet and talk about it, all right?"

I nodded.

"I guess," Ratchet said.

We got back to the Hall of Records, and I left to go to Perceptor's house and finish helping him clean up. Rumble and Frenzy had painted on the walls, and we were going to need to repaint them. 

* * *

The next orn, Orion sent a message to me on my datapad that we were meeting on campus later in the orn, out in front of the law building. There were benches and tables there, so it was a good place to meet but, since it was on campus, I couldn't bring Ravage.

Well, he could watch the twins and I'd make it up to him later.

Perceptor and I finished re-painting the walls halfway through the orn, and that left me with several joors of free time before I was supposed to meet with Shockwave and Orion, but then Breeze called me and we talked about her potentially coming to Iacon in a few decaorns to visit us, and after that Perceptor wanted my help with something he was doing in his lab.

By the time we were done with that, it was time for me to go. I was glad Perceptor's house was so close to the Academy. It only took me three breems or so to get where I was going.

Ratchet and Orion were already there, as was Wheeljack. Ratchet had just said something insensitive and Wheeljack's feelings were hurt. Shockwave had better show up, I thought, or this meeting was going to end before it started.

"Oh, hey, Soundwave," Orion said. "Glad you could come."  _ I hope Shockwave gets here soon. _

We were only waiting for a few more breems before Shockwave showed up. He brought some of his classmates—two femmes and a mech.

"Hello," he said quietly. "Orion, Soundwave, Ratchet, Wheeljack, this is Accord, Paradigm, and Dion."

They nodded.

"Nice to meet you," Dion said.  _ I already know Orion. I didn't know Shockwave knew him, though. _

Everyone always seemed to know Orion. How did he meet so many mecha when he stayed in the Hall of Records all orn?

"Let's sit down," Shockwave said. We followed him to the nearest table. "First let me thank you for being here, all six of you. But..." He took in a deep vent and let it out. "Especially Soundwave and Ratchet. I'm honored that you would be willing to help me with this. Frankly, it should be Searchlight here, doing this, running for a position on the Council. It was what he was sparked for."

"Shockwave," Paradigm said,  _ He needs to be confident. He  _ should  _ be standing here, running for this position. _

"That said," Shockwave continued. "If you're going to help me, you're going to need to be committed to this. We have a lot of work to do, and if we are to succeed, we'll have to put twice as much effort into it as our opponents. There have only been one or two occurrences of a student holding the position I'm aiming to hold and none of them have been recent. I have to impress a lot of mecha and impress them deeply enough that they'll go against tradition. Paradigm, can we go over the voting procedure, just to give everyone an idea."

"Sure," Paradigm said, crossing her arms. "To elect a new representative to the Council, the whole school gets involved. There's a student vote and an administrator vote. The student vote counts for one fourth of the weight of the vote, and the teacher/administrator vote counts as three quarters. This becomes a problem. Shocky's a student, so we're likely to get a large percentage of the student votes, but the teachers and administrators are more likely to vote for one of their own. That's the biggest barrier to overcome in his election on the school end. Then the Council has to vote on whether to accept his representation of the Academy and make him a senator. If the school votes him in, but the Council refuses him, then he's disqualified from the running, and they re-cast the vote without him. Essentially, we have one shot at this. Otherwise Shockwave's going to have to go the long way around, starting into politics after school and spending potential decavorns working his way up to the Council."

"So," Shockwave said. "It's not the end of my career if this doesn't work. But I can't pass up this opportunity. Dion and Accord are going to be working on the student front. Paradigm's keeping track of everything for me. Orion, you have connections to the Council and an almost endless wealth of information on past political campaigns, and Ratchet, Wheeljack, and Soundwave, you can help represent me to the school departments if you like."  _ Wait, Soundwave doesn't like to talk. Maybe I shouldn't ask him to... _

"Okay," I said.

As much as I didn't like to talk, I was good at it when I tried. It helped to know what everyone wanted to hear.

"Are you sure you don't want to do something else?"

I nodded.

"All right. Thank you,"

"Shockwave," Ratchet said flatly.

"Yes?"

"I'm not on very good terms with the head of the medical department right now."

"Oh," Shockwave said. "That's all right. Like I said, that's just an option, and in any case, I'm really the one who has to talk to everyone, so don't worry about that too much. You can probably help come up with ideas for the campaign too, since you  _ were  _ going into politics at some point. And Searchlight must have talked about it once in a while."

I nodded.

"Another obstacle we're going to have to deal with," Shockwave continued. "Is that there are lines I don't want to cross. I won't give up everything just for this opportunity, and I refuse to be anyone's puppet. I don't just want to quietly push for things that will help the school. I want to push for important changes, maybe even some unpopular ones. We don't have to talk about that too much in the campaign, but I don't want to hide it either. I disagree with a lot of the recent legislation the Council has passed. I might not tell them that to their faceplates, but it still might impede my ability to get support, especially from the Council. I have to be impressive enough that they accept me anyway."

"Shockwave," Ratchet said. "Do you have your position on current political issues and policies written out?"

"I do. I'll send you all copies."

"When are the elections?" I asked.

"At the end of next term," he said. "So we've got a whole quarter of a vorn, but I want to be… no, I  _ need _ to be more prepared than the other candidates. So I'm starting right now. We won't want to start campaigning really hard until halfway through next term, but I do want to make everymech aware of who I am before that, so they're ready when I run for representative. I need a framework of support so I'll have something to launch my campaign off of. Does that make sense?"

I nodded.

"So," Shockwave said. "Are you all willing to do this? It will mean a lot of work."

"You know I'm in," Orion said.

"And I'm in," Wheeljack said. "I might not really know what I'm doing when it comes to this sort of thing, but you can always count on me to support you."

Shockwave nodded. "Thank you."

"I'm in," I pledged. "I trust you, and it's what Searchlight would have… yeah."

Ratchet sighed. "I'll help some," he said. "But I'm not good with mecha, and I'm always busy."

"And you know the three of us are in," Dion said, glancing at Accord and Paradigm. "For certain."

"Okay," Shockwave said. "Let's get started then. Here are the first things we need…"

Shockwave and Paradigm laid out the beginnings of the plan, and gave everyone assignments. Orion's job was to look up past campaigns in the archives and to stay on top of current events. I volunteered to look over his views and start working on how he could present them to various departments throughout the Academy so as to convince them to vote for him. For now, Ratchet was going to help Orion and I where we needed it, and Wheeljack would eventually be in charge of designing posters and that sort of thing. He'd be good at that, provided he could restrain himself from making them too exciting.

It was dark by the time the meeting was over. We planned to have another one in two orns.

Well, I wasn't going to be bored over the break. I wasn't going to have any free time either.

But that was all right.

Yoketron and Alpha Trion seemed to think there was going to be some sort of war. For once, I agreed with Orion, though. If violence wasn't necessary—If there was any other way by which we could repair our damaged government—we had an obligation to try and solve things peacefully. Shockwave could do it, if he had enough help. 

I went back to Perceptor's house for the off-cycle, but didn't get much recharge because I stayed up late thinking, and then woke up after only a few joors from a nightmare about Neurosis. When I couldn't get back to recharge, I got up instead and started working on what Shockwave had sent me.

They had a lot of time, but they wanted to be out of the early developmental stage by the end of the break, so we had a lot of work to do.

Shockwave's first priority, as a representative of the Academy would be to push the views and interests of the school itself, so he needed to know exactly what those views and interests were. That would require interviewing a lot with the administration, but before that, during the break, there were a lot of things he could read. Much of the administration was gone over the break, but the grand headmaster was still there. Shockwave would need that mech on his side if he was going to pull this off, so we were doing a lot of research on him and his views. I also put in some time to research the other heads of departments and individual teachers. We had Perceptor on our side, of course, and he could help us represent Shockwave to the various science departments. We'd probably have a decent amount of support from them without even trying—Shockwave was well-known and well-liked among the Academy's scientific community.

Other departments, we'd need to work on. Orion did a good job keeping up with current events and helping out with the campaign strategies. My job, more and more, became assessing various department heads and coming up with approaches that would get them on our side. Shockwave's friends from the political science department worked on publicity and getting Shockwave's designation into the processors of as many mecha as possible.

Shockwave sometimes came off as quiet and unassuming, and he'd always been a little shy, but when he decided he was going to make something happen, it happened.


	55. Campaign

Shockwave, of course, was signed up for a full load of classes the next term, and the rest of us were busy too. Our progress in the campaign slowed dramatically after school started, and it got harder and harder to find times when we were all free to meet. Fortunately, a lot of Shockwave's classes—at least the science ones—were classes I was taking too, so I could talk to him relatively often. He wanted to speak personally with every teacher in the Academy, before the real campaign started, but he also needed to keep his grades up. More and more often, he came to Perceptor's house in the off-cycle after a full evening of presenting his case to teachers, and Wheeljack and I stayed up late helping him with his homework. He never complained about missing recharge, but even Wheeljack could tell how tired he was.

One evening, we were sitting in Perceptor's front room, doing an assignment. I wasn't helping much because I wasn't in that particular class, but Wheeljack and Shockwave were working together and occasionally asking Perceptor for help. Shockwave was having a hard time paying attention, which was worrying because it was so uncharacteristic of him. He was having trouble with one of the problems and Wheeljack was trying to explain it to him for the third time when he just slumped forward on the table and his higher functions shut down.

Wheeljack stared at him for a moment, surprised and then worried. "Shocky?" he poked his friend's shoulder. "You okay?"

Responding to the touch and the noise, Shockwave's systems sluggishly booted up again. "Huh? Sorry. What were you saying?"

"What happened? Are you all right?"

"I just wasn't paying attention is all," Shockwave said quietly. "Can you start over? I'm so sorry I'm not getting this."

"You just shut down," Wheeljack said. "Are you  _ sure  _ you're all right?"

Perceptor looked up from the datapad he'd been immersed in. "What just happened?"

"Shockwave shut down," Wheeljack said. "Just now, just slumped over the table."

"I'm fine," Shockwave insisted. "Just tired." He rubbed his faceplate and looked back at his homework. "Are we still on problem fifteen?"  _ Oh, Primus, this homework is eternal. I have so much to do after I get home this off-cycle. _

"Shockwave," Perceptor said.  _ He's going to make himself ill.  _ "You really should get more rest."

"You're probably right."  _ Maybe in a few orns. _

"You can't be a good candidate for the Council if you're recharging on your pedes all the time."

Shockwave shook his helm. "I know. I've got to finish this though. it's due next orn."

"How about this?" Perceptor said. "I'll talk to your professor and ask if he'll extend the deadline on that assignment by an orn. Then you can go home and get some recharge."

Shockwave yawned. "I… that would be really nice."  _ I still have another couple of joors of work. And next orn, I have six meetings I have to prepare for… _

"That's provided you actually rest," Perceptor looked at me.  _ Does he intend to recharge? _

"I'll definitely get  _ more  _ rest if I don't have to do this yet," Shockwave looked down at the assignment.

I shook my helm slightly.

"I don't think I believe you," Perceptor said. "Nor am I confident in your ability to walk home by yourself."

"I'm all right."

"Maybe you should stay here. I have a spare room."

"I do have a few other things to get done this orn," Shockwave said. "I need to go home."

Perceptor shook his helm. "What exactly do you need to get done?"

"I have six meetings with different teachers next orn," Shockwave said. "I need to prepare for them and review the information about the teachers and…" His optics lost focus and he nearly shut down again, but caught himself.

Perceptor raised an optic ridge.

"It'll… probably be a few more joors."

"Shockwave," I said.

"What?"

"I'll go talk to those teachers for you next orn."

He looked up. "What?"

"I'll talk to them for you. You do-on't need to do the whole thing yourself."

"Really?"  _ But he hates talking.  _ "Are you sure? You don't have to."

"I can do it," I said. "Really." I was the only one really understood how tired he was. I could give up a few joors of recharge in his behalf.

He put his faceplate in his hands. "Are you absolutely sure? I don't want to ask that of you."

"I'll do it, Shockwa-ave," I said.

"Thank you."

"Wheeljack," Perceptor said. "Can I trust you to get him home and make sure he gets some recharge?"

Wheeljack nodded.

"Don't let him talk his way out of it. Shockwave, go get some rest."

Shockwave nodded.  _ Soundwave is never going to know exactly how much this means... _

I knew very well what it meant. He worked harder than Ratchet and I put together, and he needed a break.

"Okay, so," Shockwave said. "At eight joors and twenty breems…"

"I know your schedule," I said flatly. "I helped write it."

"Oh, right."

"You are  _ really  _ tired," Wheeljack said.

Shockwave smiled slightly. "I guess."

"Go home," Perceptor insisted.

Shockwave nodded. Wheeljack gathered up their homework and they left out the front door.

Perceptor sighed. "I hope this turns out well."

"You think he'll be elected?"

"He's certainly trying harder than any student ever has in the history of Cybertron. And he's intelligent and careful enough to pull it off. I still wish he'd stick to science, though. It's significantly safer and he's just  _ so _ bright."

I shrugged. Shockwave would like nothing more than to stick to science. But he felt he had to do this.

And now I had to spend a few joors preparing to go talk to teachers. What fun.

* * *

I stood outside the door, steeling myself. I tried not to worry about my stutter, because I knew if I worried about it, it would be worse. I kept telling myself I had to do this because I'd promised Shockwave I would, but it was still hard.

I could hear the teacher inside. She seemed reasonably friendly. It would be all right.

I requested entry.

The door slid open and she looked up from her desk. She was a little surprised to see me and not Shockwave.

"Hello," she said. "Can I help you with something?"

"I'm here to represent Shockwave," I said. "He wanted to come, but something came up and he didn't want to cancel and reschedule, so I offered to come in his stead."

"Oh."  _ I'm not so sure about this. At the same time, I'm curious. Let's see how well this mech does at representing him. _

I took a deep vent and started talking, working my way through the things Shockwave had planned to say, and answering her questions when she had them, sometimes before she asked them. After I got over my initial nervousness it became almost like a game where I tried to match Shockwave's campaign to the things she wanted. By the time I was done, she was strongly in favor of him, and I was almost late for my next meeting.

Not all of them went as well as the first, but I got four of the six on Shockwave's side for certain. I was exhausted after the last one, but I went over to Shockwave's dorm instead of Perceptor's house so I could tell him the news.

He was there, almost finished with his homework and feeling much better than the orn before. He let me in at my entry request and I gave him the news and some files with new information about what each teacher had seemed concerned with. Shockwave thanked me profusely and I volunteered to take a few of his meetings in the future if he ever got too busy again.

After that, I was going to two or three meetings per decaorn. Shockwave was working his way through every teacher in the school, which was quite an impressive feat. He insisted it was necessary, and that it was necessary to do so by the time his campaign started in earnest.

He met his goal. We had talked to every single teacher by the time the term was halfway over.

After that, things got busier.

He wanted to meet with several teachers a second time, and he also had to talk to a lot of students. His friends from his political science classes helped him plan gatherings, handed out fliers, and—with some teachers' permission—made appearances in classes to talk about him.

Before too long, the whole Academy knew who he was and most of the students were on his side. Some of the teachers vying for the position tried to step up their game, realizing that Shockwave was seriously outdoing them, but it was too little, too late. We were unstoppable. Shockwave, for all his shyness, was a good public speaker, Wheeljack, to everyone's surprise, came out with flyers and posters that were informative, aesthetic, and didn’t even explode. Orion kept us all up to date on the Council and the current political scene, and Ratchet was a great contributor in forcing Shockwave to get at least  _ some _ recharge—often by threatening to use his new, integrated medical saw to remove Shockwave's legs. As the election approached, Shockwave's number of supporters increased. Nearly the whole student body was on board, and they were expected to get a majority of the teacher votes as well. Shockwave was actually more surprised than excited, which I thought was ridiculous. We had all worked so hard, especially him, to push this movement forward. 

* * *

Two decaorns before the elections, they had a big gathering on campus. Thousands of students and teachers and a good number of community members came. Shockwave spoke, and then talked to a whole lot of mecha who wanted to meet him. It was a great success and unless something ridiculous happened in the next little while, he was set up to win by a landslide. It was joors after his speech ended before the crowd dissipated enough that Wheeljack and Ratchet could convince him to leave. We dragged him back to Perceptor's house to celebrate.

Perceptor had left after his speech, and so was already home when we got there. Shockwave was tired and would rather have gone straight home to recharge, but he wasn't going to say anything, not with the rest of us in such a celebratory mood.

"Well," Perceptor said once we were all inside. "This has gone well, don't you think? Do you all want some energon?" He led us to the main room and we all sat around the table.

"You were just telling me," Paradigm said as she sat down next to Shockwave, "Just three decaorns ago, that you didn't think you were going to win, Shocky. What do you think now?"  _ He can't still be worried. _

Shockwave shrugged. "I don't know." His voice was quiet and full of static.

Ratchet glared in his direction.  _ That sounds suspiciously unhealthy. I'll need to corner him later. _

"Don't be ridiculous," Dion said. "You're going to win this—you're  _ actually  _ going to be on the Council. This is crazy." He grinned.

"If the Council accepts him," Accord said. "But they'll have to stretch pretty far to come up with a reason not to."

"It's too early to say anything yet," Shockwave said.  _ Primus, I need recharge. _

They stayed and talked for a while, but Shockwave wasn't the only one who was tired. We'd all had an exhausting day. After they were done with their energon, Paradigm got up and declared that it was time for everyone to go get some rest.

"All right," Shockwave said, still staticky and hushed. "Let's head back to the dorms then. Wheeljack are you coming?"

"Sure," Wheeljack said, downing the last of his energon and getting up.

"Wait," Ratchet stood suddenly. "Not yet." He pushed away from the table and came around it. "Sit back down."

Shockwave shook his helm. "I'm really tired, Ratchet. Aren't you always insisting I get more recharge?"

"The rest of you can go," Ratchet said. "I need to check something."

They hesitated.

Shockwave sighed and sat back down. "You four should go," he said. "I'll catch up."

Accord, Dion, and Paradigm reluctantly left Shockwave to his fate, but Wheeljack sat back down at the table. He'd wanted to ask Perceptor about something anyway.

"Hold still." Ratchet scanned Shockwave's helm and neck. "Does your voice box hurt?"

"It's fine, Ratchet."

"No, it's not. You're overworking it. You need to stop talking or it could go out completely."

Shockwave sighed. "Right before the election."

"Shut up!"

"Ratchet…"

"I said stop talking! You're hurting yourself. You could end up sounding like Soundwave for the rest of your life. No offense, Soundwave."

I shrugged. If I was easily offended, I probably wouldn't be Ratchet's friend.

"I think you're overreacting… ow!"

"I said shut up or I'll drag you to a real medic and he'll tell you you aren't allowed to talk for a decaorn."

Shockwave frowned.  _ I have to talk. I can't just stop talking. _

"How lo-ong should he stay quiet?" I asked.

"At  _ least  _ three orns," Ratchet said. "At  _ least _ ."

Shockwave shook his helm.

"Yes," Ratchet said. "What do you even have scheduled in the next three orns? Next orn we have off school. Why don't you just comm. your friends and ask them to cover for you?"

"If you lose your voice," Perceptor said. "It could hurt your chances."

"I know. Ow, Ratchet! Hitting me is not going to help."

"We're not going to be able to trust him not to go talk to someone, are we?" Ratchet said.

No, we weren't.

"I have an idea then," Perceptor smiled. "You can all stay here for the off-cycle. Then next orn, when you're free, you can all go to the Hall of Records with Orion. Shockwave too. That way you can keep an optic on him and make sure he rests his voice box."

"But… ow!"

"Stop talking! You don't have a say in this."

"You're infringing on my rights," Shockwave muttered.

"Are you going to shut up or do I have to slagging remove your voice box and shove it up your tailpipe?"

_ Did he used to be so bossy?  _ Shockwave wondered,  _ Maybe not quite so much. _

"I agree with Ratchet," Wheeljack said. "You need a break, Shocky."

Shockwave sighed.  _ Well, I  _ will  _ need a break if Ratchet doesn't stop whacking me with that wrench. _

"Just for one orn," Perceptor said. "You wouldn't want your voice box to go out completely during the elections."

Shockwave nodded.  _ Fine. _

_ It's too bad he doesn't know about Soundwave,  _ Perceptor thought.  _ He could still communicate that way. Also, I still don't trust him to stay quiet if we just let him go… That sounded bad, even in my helm. Oh, and I could use some help in the lab.  _ "Shockwave, there's a spare room or two on this floor. Soundwave will show you. Ratchet and Orion, you're welcome to stay the off-cycle as well."

"I should go," Orion said. "But I'll come back next orn and you should all come with me to work."

"I'm leaving too," Ratchet said. "But you'd better still be here next orn, Shockwave."

Shockwave rolled his optics.  _ Sometimes my friends… _

The two of them left.

"I could use a little help in the lab if you aren't too tired." Perceptor said.

"All right." Wheeljack said.

"What are you doing?" Shockwave asked.  _ I'm not  _ that  _ tired. _

Yes he was.

"You need rest," Perceptor said. "Don't argue."

Shockwave sighed.  _ Well, I did choose this road. Science is so much easier and more fulfilling than politics, but I made the choice. _

"Come on." I got up from the table.

I got Shockwave settled in one of the spare rooms, then went to recharge myself. I listened for a while to what Perceptor and Wheeljack were doing, but then pulled my range in so it was just me and my symbionts.

* * *

I was the first one awake the next on-cycle, so I got up and started into my homework, which had been piling up. Just a few decaorns after the elections, we had finals. Shockwave, despite his brilliance, was probably not going to have perfect grades this term. He really shouldn't worry about it as much as he did, though.

He got up next and came out to the front room to sit at the table with me.

"Don't talk," I warned him as he opened his lip plates to say something. He sighed and pulled a datapad out of subspace instead. [Good orn]

I nodded.

He took the datapad back and typed. [Any chance you could cover for me when Ratchet gets here so I can leave?]

He was mostly joking. I shook my helm.

Ratchet and Orion showed up just twenty breems later. We didn't want to wake Perceptor or Wheeljack up—we figured whatever experiment they'd done had taken longer than expected and kept them up late—so we just left them a note and made our way to the Hall of Records.

We went to Orion's office at first, but then Alpha Trion showed up, and Ratchet and I had to drag Shockwave out of the room so he wouldn't try to start a conversation with the Councilmech.

We sat at a table in an open area, and all three of us did homework in companionable silence. I could just imagine how disappointed Searchlight would have been with all of us. We had an orn off of school and we were using it to sit around in a library, doing homework.

About halfway through the orn, Orion came to find us.

"I'm going to talk to Maccadam," he said. "Do you three want to come?"

"We're coming," Ratchet said. "Hold on, let me see if I've brought all I need."

"Hang on," Shockwave said. "I'm not going to an illegal…"

"It's not illegal," Orion said. "I mean, Mac has a reputation for harboring criminals and the like, but the oilhouse itself is legal."

"Don't worry," Ratchet said. "It's not so bad. And we might not even make it there. Orion, I need you to help me."

"With what?" Orion asked.

Ratchet finished pulling tools out of subspace, and then started putting them back in. "I just need you to bribe them."

"Bribe who?" Shockwave asked.

Ratchet glared at him.

"I really don't want to start forcing them to do anything," Orion said. "That's not the point."

"It's for their own good. Besides, they don't have to do anything but stand still."

Shockwave weighed the consequences of asking us who we were talking about.

"Orion's horde of beggar sparklings," I said quietly, so he didn't need to speak.

"Yes," Ratchet said. "I don't think a slagging one of them has seen a medic for a regular check-up since they were sparked."

"Oh," Shockwave said.  _ I've heard about those sparklings. I guess I'll finally get to me them. _

"Okay, let's go," Ratchet said. "I'm ready."

We walked out of the Hall of Records. We had to stop so Orion could get the energon treats. Shockwave was surprised at how many Orion bought. He obviously didn't know just how big the horde was.

The first group approached just a few blocks away. Three little femmes.

"Hi, Orion," the oldest one said with a shy smile.

"Hello, Summer," Orion said. "How are you doing?"

"Good," the little femme ducked her helm. "Do you have energon treats this orn?"

Orion smiled. "I do. But first, my friend Ratchet wants to ask you some questions. Is that okay? He just wants to make sure you're healthy."

"Oh," Summer said. "Like a medic?"

"Yes," Ratchet said. "Only I'm just a student. What's your designation and your creators' designations?"

He got information about each of them and then gave them all a basic check-up. One of them had a loose arm joint, which he gently tightened. The smallest one had to be coaxed over, because she was scared of medics. Then they all got their energon treats and went on their way.

"You know," Shockwave said quietly, "As noble as this is, both of you, those sparklings belong to their creators and it's probably not legal handing out candy and medical treatment like that. It isn't safe for the city to allow things like this. The two of you have good intentions, but not everyone does."

"Some of them  _ live  _ on the streets," Orion said. "They don't  _ have  _ anyone to take care of them, and most of them are very poor."

Shockwave nodded.  _ Very well, then. Until I can say that there are not sparklings whose creators can't pay for medical care, then I suppose I can neither fault nor discourage Orion and Ratchet from what they're doing here. _

I had been worried for a moment that he might turn them in. But Shockwave always considered things very carefully and often erred on the side of allowing them to continue as they were. He was, of course, willing to step forward and say something whenever he saw something he thought was wrong, but he'd rather attack the root of the problem.

We ran into a larger group of sparklings, who all, oddly enough, clamored for their turn to see Ratchet. Most of them would probably have run or protested if even Orion had suggested taking them to a medic, but they saw Ratchet as more of a magician, who fixed things when they were hurt.

And he did that, surprisingly well. He also seemed to know that he could snap at the braver sparklings, but had to be kind to the timid ones. He only frightened a few of them, and despite his prickliness he cared about all of them. He was compiling a list of records for them, as if they were his patients. Of course, he didn't really have time to keep track of or take care of all of them, especially if he wasn't making any credit off of it. Orion was rubbing off on him for certain.

I kept my mind out of the mass of sparklings for the most part, because they were a whirlwind of thoughts, and it got a little dizzying. Because of that, I wasn't prepared when a little mech sparkling—after enduring Ratchet's prodding in complete, but contemplative silence—held off on taking the energon treat Orion offered him.

"What is it?" Orion asked.

"Mr. Ratchet?" the sparkling said quietly.

"What?" Ratchet snapped.

I expanded my range to hear what the sparkling was thinking, just before he gathered the courage to ask. "Mr. Ratchet, my femme creator's sick and we can't pay for a medic no more. Can you come and make her better?"

_ Oh slag,  _ Ratchet thought.

_ I can't ask him to start doing things like that,  _ Orion realized. "Ticket…" he addressed the sparkling. "I don't know if…"  _ But he looks so hopeful… _

"I… can't promise anything," Ratchet said quietly. "I'm just a student, and not a very good one at that. But I can come see if there's anything I can do."

"Nonsense, Ratchet," Shockwave said quietly.

Ratchet and Orion looked at him, confused, but he just smiled.

"You're no poor student. You're a genius."

Ratchet snorted. "You wish. You and Orion both. If I was a genius, I could fix both of your glitching processors so you wouldn;t be so slagging noble and self-sacrificing all the time, and I'd feel a little less like an idiot all the time. Ticket, stick with us until we're done with the rest of these, and then you can take us to your creator."

"Thank you," he said, optics shining. Then he burst into a fit of sobbing, and had to be hugged by several of his playmates and given three or four energon treats before he calmed down.

By the time they'd gotten through that batch of sparklings, another had shown up, and then it got really crazy. Some of them roped Orion into playing a game with them, and I got landed with the job of handing out energon treats after Ratchet was finished. It started getting harder for Ratchet to tell which sparklings he'd seen so far and which he hadn't. Some tried to go through a second time in order to get another energon treat, but I was there to tell him when they were lying.

Shockwave was approached by a few mecha who had heard of him and were interested in his campaign, so he was drawn away to talk to them. Then Ratchet noticed and tried to send me to go drag him back—he was not supposed to be talking at all—but telling mecha what to do had never really been my thing. So Ratchet had to leave off giving sparklings check-ups to go embarrass Shockwave in front of a small crowd of supporters by shouting at him and dragging him away. Then Ratchet had to drag Orion away from his game with the sparklings and hunt down the one who'd asked about his femme creator. By then he was in a foul mood.

We excused ourselves from the sparklings and small crowd and Ticket led us away.

He took us out of the main streets, down alleyways, some of which Orion had to turn sideways in to walk through. We finally reached a rusty little apartment. Ticket's femme creator was in a back room, lying on a berth, but she wasn't recharging. When Ticket led us in, she looked up.

_ Oh, no, what's going on? We can't have missed the rent payment… no, those aren't the managers. Oh Ticket what have you done? You haven't gotten into trouble, little mech, have you? _

"Hello," Orion said. "We're very sorry to bother you…"

"No it's all right." She sat up with some effort. "Has Ticket done something I should know about?" 

Her sparkling climbed up onto her lap. "Mr. Ratchet's going to help you," he said. "I told you about Mr. Orion."

"Oh…" she said.

"Yes," Orion said. "I'm Orion. I… uh… I suppose some creators would probably be upset at me for this, but I like to hand out energon treats to the sparklings in the city. Uh… this is my friend, Ratchet. He's studying at the Academy to become a medic and well… Ticket told us you were sick and asked if we could come see you."

_ Oh, no, Primus, Ticket, why…  _ She was mortified. "I… I can't believe he'd go and ask for… there's nothing anyone can do about me. I  _ have  _ been to medics, and whatever I have, it'll take a lot more credit than I'd ever hope to own to get me repaired… I'm so sorry Ticket dragged you all the way out here."

"At least let me try," Ratchet said.

She held her sparkling tightly to her, afraid.

"Mr. Ratchet's really good at fixing mecha. You know Factor? His hand was broken. I told you that, didn't I? Mr. Ratchet fixed him real fast, when none of us could do anything about it. He's better than a medic, he's a  _ student. _ "

Ticket's femme creator shuttered her optics.  _ I suppose it can't make things worse… _

"How long have you been unwell?" Ratchet asked.

The diagnosis didn't take too long. She had a rare strain of microbots that were feeding off her energon and slowly eating away at her internals. The infection had progressed to a point where she could barely function. She'd already needed to quit her job, and her sparkmate barely made enough for them to get energon and pay the rent.

The procedure for purging the infection would be expensive, and require a long recovery time. Not only was Ratchet lacking in the resources and experience to perform it himself, it was doubtful he even  _ had  _ the credit—his creators had a lot of money, but they would surely not allow him to use it for something like this and Ticket's femme creator would certainly refuse to accept such a donation.

Furthermore, the procedure was dangerous and sometimes fatal. It was worth if of course, because she was dying anyway, but at this point she was already very weak.

There had been a glimmer of hope in her emotional core, and Ratchet had seen it. He didn't want to crush it, but she could tell from his expression that the news was good.

"I have seen a medic," she said again. "I know what I have."

Ratchet nodded.  _ I can't help her. She's dying. Slag it, I'm so useless… _

The femme smiled. "Thank you so much for coming, though. It means a lot that some mecha are willing to try and help each other. It's such a rare thing. And Orion thank you so much for what you do. Sometimes that energon treat is the only thing Ticket gets all orn. I… I know he's not the only one."

Orion shrugged. "Well, I could hardly live with myself if I stood around and watched sparklings suffer."

"Most mecha don't care," The femme said.

"Can you fix her, Mr. Ratchet?" Ticket asked, obviously not having picked up on the nuances of the conversation.

Ratchet and the femme stared at each other in dismay for a moment. Then the femme prepared herself to break the news to her hopeful little creation. I pulled my mind away so I didn't have to hear their anguish.

"Yes," Ratchet said.

We all stared at him.

_ If I go to the department head and tell him I'm changing my term project…  _ "It will take some time, and it might not work, but I can try to find a way to help you."

She shook her helm.  _ Don't say it just for Ticket  _ "Don't give us false hope."

"I'm not," Ratchet said. "I have to do some sort of project this term, and the Academy will give me funding for it. I’ll use that to look for a safer cure for that strain of microbot infection. I can't promise it will work, but I can try."

The femme stared. "But…"  _ He would do something like that, just for some dying femme he doesn't know? _

"So I wouldn't get your hopes up too high, but…"

"But you don't even know me."

"Does it matter?" Ratchet snapped. "Pit, femme, I want to be a medic. I'm not going to know all of my patients personally before I repair them, am I?"

"No," she said, a little shocked at his language, but feeling too dazed to complain about it. "But most of them will be paying you."

Ratchet frowned.  _ You know, so far that hasn't been the case.  _ "I don't care. I needed a term project anyway."

That wasn't true. He'd been working on his project since halfway through the term and had it practically completed. If he did this, abandoned it in favor of this new project, he would only have five decaorns in which to complete it and prepare a presentation on it. This could easily cost him his grade in that class. 

Shockwave understood what he was sacrificing, and Orion did as well, though not to the same extent. Ticket's femme creator didn't, but she was so grateful she couldn't find words to express herself. So we took our leave of her and none of us spoke until we were back in the Hall of Records.

  
  



	56. Resolutions

"You know, I was thinking about spark energy recently," Wheeljack said, pedes up on Perceptor's table.  _ It's really fascinating. I wonder if you could… _

"Spark energy?" Perceptor asked.  _ If he starts experimenting with spark energy we are all in deep trouble.  _ "What about it?"  _ Also, I really wish he would put his pedes down. _

We were in Perceptor's front room, waiting to hear the outcome of the election. Shockwave paced while Orion played with the radio, and Wheeljack and Perceptor were in deep, scientific discussion. Ratchet wasn't there. I hadn't seen him much since he'd decided to change his project. For all his insistence that Shockwave get enough rest, he didn't seem to care about rest himself.

"Yes," Wheeljack said. "It's one of the few kinds of energy that we can't contain or utilize. Yet it is incredibly powerful."

"Part of the lack of research on it is because it is only generated in our sparks and to harvest it would be to kill mecha," Perceptor said.  _ And I truly wish Shockwave would stop pacing. He's making me nervous. _

"Well, I wasn't thinking about using it, really," Wheeljack said. "Maybe trying to influence it though, you know, like a bond does."

"You don't need science to bond with someone," Perceptor said.

"No, but there is science to it," Wheeljack said. "And if we could figure it out, maybe we could—I don't know—stop broken-bond deaths from being such a problem. That's how my femme creator died. When my mech creator offlined, she went with him…" Wheeljack looked down.  _ I didn't mean to say that. Oops. _

Shockwave walked past the table for the thousand and forty eighth time. We still had about a quarter of a joor to wait. Shockwave's other friends were going to show up some time soon, and we'd invited Ratchet, but he probably wasn't coming.

"How would you do that?" Perceptor asked.

"Well, the reason they offline is because of spark resonance," Wheeljack said. "The two bonded mecha have this synchronization between their sparks, and when one dies, it causes the other spark to try to mimic the pattern and that can kill them, right?"

Perceptor nodded. "Yes, I'm aware how that works."

"And of course it works the other way too, and it's harder to offline someone who's bonded, because they've got another spark they're trying to copy."

"Actually," Perceptor said, "Talk to Ratchet about that. I think that causes more problems. A heavily damaged mech's spark will go into a lower energy state to conserve power, but if they're bonded, their spark activity won't drop as much, and they can burn themselves out."

"Really?" Wheeljack asked.

"I believe so," Perceptor said. "Like I said, you ought to talk to Ratchet about it."

"Well, in any case, if we could mimic spark resonance, then we could make all sorts of medical advancements. Imagine being able to use a machine to influence someone's spark pulse. Sending mecha into stasis would be less difficult, and stabilizing their sparks would be less dangerous."

"It's a thought," Perceptor said. "It sounds risky, though. Are you thinking of actually looking into this, or is it just another idea?"

"Most of my ideas are a little more flashy."

Perceptor nodded.  _ Primus knows that's true. _

"But this one could actually help mecha. I… I'm not sure if I'm going to look into it or not, but I'll keep thinking about it, and maybe do some preliminary research."

"Perceptor nodded. "That sounds like a good plan… Orion?"

"Yes, Perceptor?" Orion looked up from the radio, which was now broadcasting a report from Kaon about the gathering rebellion there.

"Could you turn that off?"

"Why? This is important."

"Important?" Perceptor asked. "They're having social unrest in Kaon. And there's that… what's-his-designation…"

"Megatronus," Orion said.  _ He's amazing.  _ "Perceptor, surely you don't think our government isn't corrupt. Megatronus is justified in standing up for the underprivileged masses. Someone's got to."

Perceptor shook his helm. "He preaches overthrow and destruction."

"He claims," Shockwave finally stopped pacing, "That there is illegal, government-endorsed slavery in Kaon, as well as government-supported gladiator rings. It is most certainly something to look into, but I'd agree with Perceptor in saying he's a little radical."

"We all just sit here and do nothing," Orion said. "While sparklings starve, and the government makes our friends disappear, and when someone stands up to fight against that, we call him radical."

"He's a puppet," Shockwave said. "If what he says is true, then he's a slave, and a gladiator. The mecha who own him are using him to gain popularity. I'm sure his fights pull more of a crowd than anyone else's because of his followers, those poor mecha who believe he can save them from their poverty. They're only serving the system even more by paying to go see him."

Orion looked down, and the lull in the conversation drew everyone's attention to the radio, where they were replaying one of Megatronus's speeches.

"…can change things. It begins with remembering. Remembering your friends and family, your fallen loved ones. You fight for them, because  _ they  _ would have wanted a better end for you, and for your creations because  _ you  _ want a better end for them..." The deep, powerful voice was drowned out by cheering, and then that faded out, and the reporter came back in. "…He may just be a gladiator, but his voice has swept through the city, and now hundreds of thousands listen to him and dream of a better life. Strangely enough, there doesn't seem to have been any attempts by his superiors to stop him from giving speeches during his fights. It's a widely accepted theory that they're happy about the publicity he's receiving…"

"See," Shockwave said." I don't think it's real. It's possible he's just an actor of some sort. They know the public will respond to this, so they have him shout pretty words about addressing social ills and rising up to fight the corrupt institutions. Their biggest danger is if mecha listen to him and get themselves hurt. I wonder who writes his speeches, though."

Orion frowned. "I didn't think about that… but what if it is real? What if he's telling the truth?"

"Then I wish him luck," Shockwave said. "If he's telling the truth, then he and I are on the same side. We do all know there are things that need to change in our society. I just… don't know how well he's going to do. He's only reaching people who are going to those gladiator fights anyway."

"Not really," Orion said. "He has representatives in the crowd recording them and distributing them. They have to be careful, of course, because the minelords do not want anyone recording and distributing the fights. But most of his speeches can be found if you know where to look. Sometimes they even get broadcasted." He gestured to the radio.

"How much do you know about this?" Shockwave asked. "You haven't mentioned it before."

"I've been following it," Orion admitted. "I found a recorded speech of his a while back and then went looking for more… they're really good."

"I doubt he comes up with them himself," Shockwave said. "There are plenty of good writers out there, willing to work for a little credit, especially for something like this."

"You all want to tear this down," Orion said. "But…"

"Because it doesn't happen," Perceptor said. "This is like something from an old legend. A slave uprising with a strong charismatic gladiator for a leader… it sounds staged."

"You can hear it in his voice," Orion said. "He really believes this."

"We're not saying it's impossible, Orion, just that it's improbable," Shockwave said.

There was an entry request—Shockwave's friends. Perceptor got up to let them in, and Shockwave went back to pacing.

"So, if this Megatronus person..." Wheeljack frowned. "Why is he called Megatronus? Why haven't I heard about this before, by the way? Soundwave have you heard about him?"

Not out loud, but I'd picked up a few things here and there. He wasn't particularly well-known up in Iacon. Kaon probably cared more about him. Shockwave only knew about him from his current events class. Orion was the only one who I'd heard who actually thought he was interesting enough to pay attention to.

Though that part of a speech… it had been pretty good. That was what really mattered to us—our friends, our family, and our own freedom and wellbeing. We could all be in danger because of the corruption in the Council. What had happened to Searchlight proved that.

Well, time would tell if this Megatronus person was serious. I only hoped Orion didn't get caught up in something dangerous. Not only was he naïve, he was stubborn about it.

Perceptor came back with Shockwave's friends. He stopped pacing again and smiled faintly at them. "Did you get to look at the polls?"

"No," Paradigm said. "You know we can't, not unless we hack in. Don't worry so much. They'll announce it over the radio in six breems."

Shockwave took a deep vent.

"Hey," Paradigm said, putting a hand on his arm. "Are you all right?"

"Just nervous. If I don't get in, all this work we've done has been… well, it's just been a waste, hasn't it? I'm really sorry in advance if that happens. You've all sacrificed so much to bring me to the point I'm at and I'm so grateful. None of you can imagine how grateful I am."

"Oh, Shocky," Paradigm said. "Don't be ridiculous. It's been an honor helping you. Also, you're going to win. The odds are overwhelmingly in your favor."

"Which means I have maybe a fifty percent chance of getting on the senate," he said. "Even if I pull a win here, the Council has to approve me, and there's no certainty I'll win here. Maybe I have overwhelming odds, but the vote is rigged, and we all know it, and I don't have the support of the political science department." He took in another deep vent and shuttered his optics.  _ I'm going to lose, I just know I'm going to lose. Why am I so worried about this? _

I felt for him, but he was making me nervous, and now there were just barely enough mecha in the room to be distracting, so I pulled my range in so it just covered Wheeljack and Perceptor at the table.

Wheeljack tried to start up another conversation, but the atmosphere in the room was too tense for small talk. We waited as time ticked down. Orion set the radio on the right station so we'd hear the news.

Three breems to go. It felt like ages, but even Perceptor and Wheeljack were too anxious to talk. We waited, listening idly to the news on the radio, though it was nothing particularly interesting or pertinent.

Then finally, the news started talking about the elections. Voting had started the orn before, but the last votes had just been cast, and now it was time to hear the outcome.

"…Well, the votes have just finished coming in for the Iacon Academy representative on the High Council. The position has a pretty high turnover for a Council seat, and so we get to elect a new one every few vorns. Our two main candidates this time have been professor Quota, a renowned professor from the department of political science, and—surprisingly enough—a student designated Shockwave, who is a political science student."

Everyone held perfectly still, listening, waiting.

"It's been seventy-six vorns since we've had a student in this position. And we're about to announce here whether that will change this orn."

"Oh, just say it already," Wheeljack muttered.

"…and the newest Council member, according to the vote is…"

The tension and panic in the room were almost audible, even though my range was pulled in.

"…Shockwave!"

Wheeljack and Shockwave's other friends cheered.

Shockwave just stared at the radio. "I… I made it."

"Yes!" Paradigm laughed and threw her arms around him, pressing her forehead against his. The others cheered that as well, and Shockwave smiled.

"Hey," Accord said. "Mechs, let's celebrate or something."

"Youngest senator ever," Wheeljack said. "Good job, Shocky."

"Third youngest, actually," Shockwave pulled away from Paradigm and let out a relieved sigh. "Well, that was terrifying."

"Let's go get some high grade," Dion said. "Come on."

"I should probably work on…"

"Not this time," Accord said. "You're not working any more this orn, Shockwave. Come on, Paradigm help us drag him to the nearest oilhouse. The rest of you are welcome to come."

Orion and Wheeljack went with them but Perceptor and I opted out. Perceptor turned off the radio once they were gone. "Well," he said. "This has been rather exciting, I will admit." He smiled. "I hope Shockwave manages to make the changes he wants to. He's a good mech, isn't he?"  _ I wonder what it's like inside his helm… _

"He's good," I agreed. He put the rest of us to shame with how hard he was willing to work and how much he was willing to sacrifice.

I surrounded myself with very, very good mecha who I could never hope to be like, didn't I? Ratchet, Orion, Shockwave, Perceptor, Searchlight. I was drawn to them, because they didn't judge me for my missing faceplate, and because they could be trusted with my secrets. They thought of me as a good person too, and maybe I was in some ways. But I always had this feeling like I wasn't, like I was just pretending.

* * *

The Council was still deliberating about whether to accept Shockwave. Some of them didn't like his views on certain issues, but Alpha Trion was fully supportive of him, and Trion had a lot of influence.

I was spending a lot of time in the Hall of Records, studying for finals, and Orion was busy because Alpha Trion had to be at the Council Hall to argue for accepting Shockwave. So time went relatively quickly, but I was ready for a break when Ratchet stormed in.

For a moderately antisocial mech, Ratchet certainly had no shame when it came to making a scene. He practically ran past annoyed-looking clerks and library-goers, over to my table.

"Here!" He slammed a datapad down on the desk. "I am  _ done  _ with this slagging project!"

Then he collapsed into a chair and shuttered his optics.

"Uh…" I said quietly. "Ratchet?"

_ I swear I could recharge for a whole slagging decaorn, it's been how many orns now? I still have to come up with a presentation, and I haven't quite finished testing it… _

"Oh, you're done with that cure,"

"Yes," Ratchet said. "It ought to work, too. The only reason we never did the research was because that slagging infection is too rare to bother with, but now, if my research gets accepted, there will be one. You want to come with me to that femme's house again?"

"Sure," I said. I needed a break anyway. "Orion?"

"Not coming. I went and asked, he's busy." Ratchet stood up again and subspaced his datapad. "Let's go."

I followed him out of the library, very aware of the many pairs of optics watching us as we went. We got out onto the streets of Iacon. I had been starting to worry about Ratchet. Finals started in three orns and I had barely seen him since the elections.

Ratchet really needed to rest. I wasn't going to tell him that, though. He yelled at me enough as it was, I didn't want to encourage it in any way.

We saw some of Orion's beggar sparklings as we went, and a few even came over, all disappointed Orion wasn't with us but happy to see Ratchet anyway. We got to the femme's apartment, and I was surprised again at how small and dirty it was. This time, a mech opened the door, and frowned at us, wondering who we were and whether we were lost.

"Hello," Ratchet said. "We came to see Nation, this is the right house, isn't it?"

"She's sick," the mech said. "You can talk to me."

"Yes," Ratchet said. "I know she's sick. I'm a student from the Academy, and I…"

"Oh," he said. "Yes, she told me about you."  _ I really hope they know what they're doing and that this isn't some sort of prank. What's that creepy drone doing with him?  _ "I guess you can come in."  _ I ought to make him leave the drone outside. _

We walked in past him. Ratchet could sense his suspicion and hostility, but completely dismissed it as irrelevant and unimportant. He led the way to the back room, where Nation was lying, optics shuttered and engine making a painful, raspy sound.

Ratchet knelt by her berth, suddenly very concerned. "Nation?"

She unshuttered her optics. "Oh, you… Ratchet, right?" she coughed a few times. "I'm sorry, I've gotten worse since you came last."

"It should be all right," Ratchet said. "I've developed a cure that ought to work. I don't know what the side effects are for full mecha, yet, because I haven't tested it on anything but a turbo-rat, but it might help."

"Thank you," she smiled, then her engine coughed a few more times. I flinched in sympathy. She was working very hard to hide her pain.

"I'll have to come back every orn and check on you, and I'll want to do some scans and things, and keep track of your progress. Is that all right? If this works, I'll be able to pass this cure on to other researchers who can continue to test its viability."

She nodded, and Ratchet looked to the mech, who nodded once as well.  _ What do we have to lose? She's dying anyway. But if the side-effects cause her any more pain, this little student's going to have to answer to me. _

"Okay," Ratchet pulled out a syringe from subspace. "Here goes nothing." He gently pushed the needle tip into a crack between the plating of her armor, and used his scanners to make sure he found an energon line to inject into. Once the contents of the syringe were in her lines, he pulled out the needle and subspaced it again. "I'll be back next orn. You might not see a marked improvement for a few orns. Can I test a few things?"

He took readings and scans, and then we got up and left. As positive as he'd been, he was actually worried. Her infection had progressed to the point where she might need surgery even if the infection was taken care of. Some of her systems might be beyond her self-repair functions.

"You did your best," I said quietly.

"Ha!" Ratchet scowled. "That's no help, though, not if she dies. I told that sparkling I'd heal his femme creator. I can't fail now. I'm going to go back and keep working on this, run a few tests… ugh, and I need that presentation in four orns. Slag, why is life so hard?"

I shook my helm. As Searchlight had been fond of saying, Ratchet was completely hopeless.

At least Ratchet had given this project his all. I wasn't very good at that. If I'd been more committed to rescuing Searchlight, we might have been able to get him out in time. I would just have to remember to try harder in the future. I could not let something like that happen to any more of my friends.

Unfortunately, that was easier said than done.

* * *

Shockwave got onto the Council. He and Paradigm, who was his assistant, and eventually his sparkmate, represented the Academy for a term. Shockwave decided to graduate after only one vorn at the Academy, because he didn't have time for school and politics as well, but he stayed on the Council, as the school's representative. I saw him less often, because he was so busy, but when I did see him, he usually expressed frustration with his colleagues. He couldn't push his issues for fear of being voted off, so he had picked up the role of pointing it out when they were blatantly disobeying the fundamental laws the original Council had set down, which didn't do much besides annoy them.

Wheeljack decided to go on with school and take two or three vorns to graduate. He wanted to learn everything he could. His research on spark energy was actually going places, which he was excited to tell anyone who would listen. We were all a little nervous about it at first, but the fact that Wheeljack was careless did not actually change the fact that he was brilliant, and the truth was that he was blowing things up less often now that he was an adult and actually had challenging projects to work on.

Ratchet was making a name for himself in the medical department, both for offending mecha and for saving lives. He was also taking the long route, and would probably be spending four or five vorns in the Academy before leaving. He was already having more success in his research, though, than many fully authorized medics. That femme with the infection had survived and recovered. Ratchet had been in trouble for using a test subject without the proper authorization, but they had decided not to kick him out of the Academy for it. They were more and more willing to let that sort of thing slide.

Orion never changed. His horde of beggar sparklings got bigger, but not by so much he couldn't buy energon treats for all of them. He kept on and on about Megatronus, though, which Ratchet found rather annoying, and Alpha Trion seemed to disapprove of—I wasn't sure about that, of course, but he kept telling Orion not to listen to that nonsense. Megatronus, to the surprise of many, had come to be relatively well-known all over Cybertron, and he had at least a small following in every city. Perceptor still thought he sounded fake, and I wasn't sure who to agree with. Part of me wanted him to be real, because it meant that someone was standing up, and no one had torn him down yet. It meant hope for other mecha to do the same.

As for me, I stayed in school though I kept changing my mind about what I wanted to do. At this point, I wanted to be a programmer. It would mean that I lived most of my life cooped up in some little office with a computer and my symbionts, but that sounded perfect to me. Some might think I ought to use my abilities to do something dramatic, and change the world, but I didn't think that just because I had them, I needed to use them. Besides, it would be a lot easier to keep from misusing them if I stayed away from mecha. My one worry was that I would probably end up working for the government. Hopefully by then Shockwave and Alpha Trion would have forced them to get their act together.

For a little while, it looked like everything was going well—or at least according to plan. But then, when Shockwave had been on the Council for about a vorn, things changed rather quickly.


	57. Wheeljack

There was an entry request at Perceptor's door. It was early afternoon, and he and I were sitting at the table, having some energon. Perceptor got up to go answer the door and I expanded my range to discover that it was Wheeljack outside, and that he was very worried about something.

Wheeljack? Worried?

I listened closely to his thoughts as Perceptor let him in and invited him over to the table. By the time the two of them entered the room, I was worried too.

"So," Perceptor sat down at the table. "Do you want some energon?"

Wheeljack shook his helm and crossed his arms. “No Thanks.”

"Is everything all right?"  _ He looks a little unsettled. _

"I, uh…" Wheeljack shuttered his optics and sucked in a hissing vent. "Perceptor…"

"What?" Perceptor looked up at him.

"It's just… Perceptor, I don't know what to do…"

"Hmm," Perceptor pulled out a chair. "Why don't you sit down and explain to me what's got you so worked up."

Wheeljack forced himself to sit and took a deep vent. "Okay," he said. "Okay, well, you know my spark energy research?"

"Yes? I thought it had been progressing well—have you hit a dead end somewhere?"

"No, no, it's going great. It's just… well, some mecha came to me, just a joor or so ago. They were from the Council, the department of security, and…"

_ Oh, Primus. This mechling…  _ "Are they shutting you down?"

"No."

_ He should have picked a less… Wait…  _ "Then what did they want?"

"They want me to… well, they want me to develop weapons using my research."

Perceptor stared.  _ Weapons? Did I hear that right? _ "What?"

Wheeljack took a deep vent. "They want guns that kill every time, because they shut your spark off. They want… they probably want bombs that could wipe out entire cities. You could make them. I didn't think about it until now, but most of what I'm working on at this point is how to make this safe to use in medical equipment and you wouldn't need to do that if you were just making weapons."

Perceptor started thinking through the implications and consequences of that. "They… did they say what they want them  _ for _ ?"

"No. I didn't ask. I told them I didn't invent this so I could make weapons with it," He buried his faceplate in his hands. "But… but then they threatened to have me thrown out of the Academy, and when I told them that I'd rather leave the Academy than make weapons for them, they told me if I wasn't willing, then they'd take my research and… and…"

"By the Allspark…" Perceptor looked down at the table.  _ This is very bad. _

"They'll make me disappear," Wheeljack said. "Won't they?"

"Did you say anything else after they threatened you?"

"Yes," Wheeljack said. "I wanted them to leave, so I told them I'd do it, but I can't, I  _ can't!  _ what if they use that on someone? I don't want my research to kill anyone."  _ I'm such an idiot. This happens every time, everything I make blows up in my faceplate because I don't think through the consequences. Of course this could be weaponized. _

"Okay," Perceptor said. "Have you talked to Shockwave or Alpha Trion? They're both on the Council."

"I sent a message to Shockwave," Wheeljack said, "Explaining the basics of what happened, and that I'd be here if he wanted to talk in person."

Perceptor nodded.  _ We'll have to move before the Council does. _

"I can destroy my research," Wheeljack said quietly. "I can destroy all of it so they can't use it. Do you think I should do that?"

"It might become necessary," Perceptor said grimly. "For now, let's not make any rash decisions until we've gotten in contact with Alpha Trion or Shockwave or someone who…"

There was another entry request at the door. Both Perceptor and Wheeljack jumped, but I reached out and found that it was only Shockwave.

"Stay in here," Perceptor said, and went to answer it. He came back with the senator.

"Wheeljack," Shockwave was worried enough that he almost couldn't feel amused. " _ Why _ ?"

"I'm sorry," Wheeljack stood up. "I didn't mean for this to happen, I'm so sorry, I never imagined they'd want to…"

Shockwave crossed the room and embraced him. "It's not your fault. It's okay."

"It's not okay," Wheeljack said.

"Do you think it's possible to do what they asked?" Shockwave released his friend and held him at arm's length.

"Not just possible," Wheeljack said. "It would be really easy. My research has progressed beyond the point I'd need to make weapons. I don't think they know that, but if they had anyone else look over it… I couldn't just pretend to do the research for them, Shocky, if that's what you're suggesting."

Shockwave nodded thoughtfully.

"Do you think they'd take my research?"

"Yes," Shockwave said. "Can you destroy it? I'm sorry about all that work you did."

"Don't worry," Wheeljack said. "It's worth it to keep them from using it."

"Good, then," Shockwave said. "Get rid of it. I can't believe they'd want… It's a clear breach of the laws to force anyone to make weapons for them. If I can expose this…" he shuttered his optics.  _ I feel so old and tired already. I'm not even seven vorns old and already I feel ancient.  _ "It also might be in your best interest to disappear. No, let me rephrase that, you  _ are  _ going to disappear, so if you don't want the Council to make you disappear, you'll have to go on your own terms. If they do catch you, I'll find you and get you out, but that'll be a hassle, and I'll lose ground with the Council."  _ Not as if I'm not already losing ground. Slag it, Platform, why couldn't you have just been a little more careful? _

"Where should I go?" Wheeljack asked.

"That can't be up to me," Shockwave said. "If they find evidence that I'm helping you hide from them, I'm going to be in a whole heap of trouble. Surely you can find a way on your own."  _ We have that groundbridge. Now might be a good time to use it. I'm suddenly glad we didn't dismantle it.  _ "Public transportation's a bad idea, but you might find an alternative in Perceptor's basement."

Wheeljack nodded.  _ The groundbridge, of course. I can go anywhere, we just need to find somewhere safe. _

"Things haven't been going well with the Council, have they?" Perceptor asked quietly.

"No," Shockwave said. "In fact, if you'll count helms, we're one short as of last decaorn, and I don't think he's on vacation."  _ He was the only one besides Alpha Trion who was speaking out more strongly than I am for social change. Now I'm at the head of that. I certainly hope I'm not next on their hit list. I don't want to think about where they sent him… I almost can't believe that place is real. _ "I can't stay long. Paradigm is covering for me, saying I left some important information on a datapad in my office, and I have to run back to the Council Hall before they get too suspicious."

Wheeljack nodded and then looked down.

"Oh, Allspark, Wheeljack, I'm so sorry. I thought I'd be able to stop this sort of thing from happening…"  _ I feel almost more helpless than I did before. _

"It's okay—it's not  _ your  _ fault either," Wheeljack said. "Thank you so much for coming."

"Be sure to disappear before the orn is out. They won't give you much more time than that. Also, is your research secure, or can they access it?"

"I mean, if they went in and took my computer, they'd be able to take it,"

"Then you'd better move quickly." Shockwave vented a sigh. "Take care of yourself. I might not… we might not see each other for a while, so… good luck."

Wheeljack nodded, and they embraced each other again. "Good luck with the Council."

"Thank you." Shockwave pushed away, trying in vain to fight back the worry drowning his emotional core. I also felt an echo of Paradigm's comfort and sympathy through his bond with her. "I really do have to go." He turned and hurried away, and Wheeljack shuttered his optics, still frightened and now miserable as well.

He was going to have to disappear.

"All right," Perceptor said once Shockwave was gone. "Soundwave, would you please go with Wheeljack and make sure he's successful in destroying all of his research."  _ I'll go down to the basement and make sure the groundbridge is working. We'd better not talk about that out loud, though, just in case Wheeljack's bugged or something. _

I doubted that, but I nodded anyway, and Wheeljack and I left the house. He didn't know it, but I would be able to tell if anyone was sneaking up on us, or trying to hack into his research. I expanded my range because this was important. This was Wheeljack's freedom, possibly his life, and maybe even the lives of many at stake, so I could afford a little processor ache.

We crossed campus quickly-with Wheeljack jumping at every shadow—and made it to his cluttered little research lab. I'd been here before, to help him occasionally with computer troubles, and I always wondered how he managed to work with all of this mess. Empty vials, spare parts, piles of datapads, and empty cubes of energon were strewn across the desks. Blueprints and holographic sketches were displayed all over the walls, and there were bins full of odds and ends, some of them probably dangerous, stacked in the corners and under the counters and desks. He shared this space with one other student, who was doing his own research, but that mech was rarely here, and didn't seem to care about the mess.

"Okay," Wheeljack said, bringing his computer online. "I have everything stored here, one back-up on a datapad, and one back up on a little data stick. I might keep the data stick, just in case I need the research later, but I'll take that with me, and make it so if anyone tampers with it, it'll destroy itself."

You could do that with coding. But he probably had something more along the lines of a small bomb in mind. 

He brought up the files on his computer. "Didn't I have you set this up so that anything changed on this computer would also automatically change on my datapad?"

I nodded, an idea forming in my processor. "Wheeljack?"

"Yeah?"

"We  _ could _ replace the data with fake data,"

Wheeljack tilted his helm to the side, then raised an optic ridge. "And let them spend decaorns trying to get past the firewalls you put up on this thing, then decrypt everything only to find that none of it is useful?"

I nodded.

"I kind of like that idea," Wheeljack said, getting up from his computer. "Go for it."

"Delete it from the datapad it's backed up on," I said, as I sat down and got to work.

Wheeljack deleted the files from his personal datapad, and then crashed the datapad, just to make sure, while I replaced all of his data with randomly generated numbers, and all of his research notes with magazine articles about interior decorating that I found on the public servers. Wheeljack looked over at what I was doing and smiled, though he was a little too shaky to laugh. He then pulled out the memory stick with his research backed up on it.

"Do you think I shouldn't keep this? What if someone does find it?"

I shrugged. It was his decision. He stuck it back into subspace, telling himself, he'd decide later when he was a little more in control of his emotions.

It took me a while to finish, especially since I had to be absolutely certain the computer hadn't backed up his work anywhere else. Then I got up, and turned the computer off. Wheeljack hesitated in the doorway, looking back at the room that was essentially his life.

Yes it was messy, I realized, but it was also very lived-in and full of personality. This was probably going to be the last time Wheeljack ever saw this room, and he did not feel ready to leave it. I waited for him. Listening to him try to decide whether to bring anything with him.

Then he turned the lights off and left it all. "I want a few things from my apartment, to take with me," he said. "Can we stop there for a breem?"

I nodded, and we started across campus again, though in a different direction. When we got in range of his apartment, I could hear that there were mecha there, waiting for him. I stopped. He continued on a few steps, and then noticed and turned around. "What?"

"I think… maybe we'd better not."

"Why?" Wheeljack asked.

I expanded my range so I could hear them a little better. "What if the-ere are mecha wa-aiting for you there?"

"Like… government?"

I nodded.

He hesitated. "I… I don't know how likely that is."

One hundred percent likely. I waited for him to decide whether he was worried enough or not. If need be, I could make something up about hearing or seeing something suspicious, or just bodily drag him back to Perceptor's house. If it became absolutely necessary, I could explain my abilities to him, though I would rather not do that.

"Okay," he said. "You might be right. I don't really need anything. I probably shouldn't use my account to buy anything either. Primus, how am I going to get energon wherever I'm going?"

We would work that out once we got to Perceptor's house. We turned and walked the other way. It wasn't a long walk, and the sun dome was reflecting light down onto us, but it felt as dangerous as a dark alley in the middle of the off-cycle, and by the time we got there, I had a moderate processor ache and was nearly as jumpy as Wheeljack. I made my range shrink to the point where I could hear the outside of the house, but not the next house over, or the other side of the street.

"Come in," Perceptor said, and beckoned us through the door that led down to the basement. There, he used a scanner on Wheeljack to check for tracking or bugging devices.

"So," he said, once he was satisfied the mech was clean. "Question: Soundwave, have you ever made a fake ID?"

"No," I said.

"Neither have I," Perceptor said. "But we might need to. Wheeljack, I think the best way to do this would be for you to disappear and get a job somewhere out of the city. Nothing too fancy, maybe a factory worker or low-end mechanic of some sort. It'll be boring work, but it'll keep you alive. We'll need to set up a fake ID and credit account, and find you a job."

"I could figure out how to do it," I said. I knew some of my classmates had done that sort of thing before. It shouldn't be too hard to ask them about it.

Perceptor nodded. "Of course, I want you somewhere safe, as soon as possible, in case they come looking for you here. And we'll want to use the groundbrige, because we  _ could  _ hide you here, but if they come looking and find the bridge, it will get taken away and then we won't be able to get you out."

"Where am I going?" Wheeljack asked.

"I don't know," Perceptor said. "Any ideas, Soundwave?"

I had been all over the planet when I had been younger. I hadn't gone to every city, but I'd been to many of the larger ones. "Go to Polyhex,"

It was big, industrial, and full of crime and the like. If I could get someone a fake ID and credit account anywhere, it would be in Polyhex.

Perceptor unsubspaced a datapad, and pulled up a map of Polyhex. "Soundwave, go get some energon cubes we can send with Wheeljack so he won't starve while we're trying to get him a job. I'll give you a code with one of my accounts on it. You can use it to buy board in a hotel until you can find somewhere to live. Hopefully they won't go so far as to track my account."

"Thank you," Wheeljack said, as I left to get the energon. I could still hear the conversation of course, because they were still in my range.

"I want you to change your comm. codes and frequencies too. If you tell them to me, we'll be able to get in touch with you."

"Should I tell Soundwave also?"

"I'll pass it along to him."  _ Won't need to, actually. _

I gathered some energon cubes from the cupboard and brought them down to Wheeljack. He started carefully subspacing them while Perceptor picked some coordinates where there weren't likely to be any mecha watching, and then turned the groundbridge on.

"Here," Wheeljack said, having finished with the energon cubes. "I'll help put in the coordinates, this thing's a little different from your typical groundbridge."

He and Perceptor worked out the bridge while I contacted one of my acquaintances from my classes and asked him if he knew how to make a fake ID. Of course, I already knew that he  _ did  _ know, and had done it before, but just for fun. I also knew that he was not particularly pleased with the government because they had made one of his friends' creators disappear when he was in secondary school. He'd almost certainly be willing to help, and keep this quiet if I explained the situation to him.

"Okay," Perceptor said. "I think the coordinates are set right."

Wheeljack took in a deep vent and let it out slowly. "Okay… well, goodbye, I guess. Primus, this is really fast."

Perceptor nodded. "But we'll keep in touch. Stay safe, Wheeljack,"

"I can't believe this is happening. Just at the beginning of the orn, I had no idea…"

"You'll be fine," Perceptor seemed to sense how frightened Wheeljack was. "And maybe if Shockwave and Alpha Trion can sort this out, you can come back, so don't give up completely on that."

Wheeljack nodded, looking nervously at the groundbridge.  _ I have no idea what to do once I go through that bridge. I guess I find somewhere to stay for the off-cycle, but… I don't want to do this. Maybe we're overreacting. _

I was pretty sure we weren't.

"Well…" he said. "I guess… I had better go, hadn't I?"

"If the government threatened to make you disappear, we don't want to take any chances," Perceptor said. "Go on. I'll be in touch soon."

Wheeljack nodded again, more confidently this time. "See you. Tell Ratchet, Shocky, and Orion that I'm okay."

I nodded. I'd pass along the message.

He walked through the bridge. Perceptor checked to make sure it read that he'd come out the other side, then shut it down and covered it again with a tarp.

I felt his worry as he shuttered his optics and put a hand to his faceplate.  _ I don't like this at all. What are they making weapons for? Do they want to try to quell that foolish rebellion in the south? Should we warn someone about that? Will they find something else now that they can't get Wheeljack and his research? Or will they keep looking for him? I need to talk to Alpha Trion about this. Poor Wheeljack... _

_ What is Trion doing? He's supposed to be keeping the Council in line, and now  _ this  _ happens. Shockwave can't do this by himself. Primus, he looked so tired and worn down, he's never stopped working too hard has he?  _ Perceptor looked up at me. "Soundwave, are you listening to my thoughts?"

I nodded.

"Please don't. Not right now. I need to ponder a few things that I've tried not to think about around you."  _ Alpha Trion can't possibly be letting this happen on purpose, can he? _

I nodded. Few mecha could keep secrets from me, and fewer could keep them from me when I wasn't letting them. But Perceptor knew a lot of supposedly dangerous things that he didn't think I ought to be let in on, and I honored his desire to leave me out.

I pulled my range back and went to my room to sit with my symbionts and worry. We were about halfway through a term—my second to last term in school, actually.

"What's going on?" Ravage asked, somehow sensing that I was upset.

"Wheeljack's in trouble," I said. "You re-emember him?"

They all nodded.

"Is he hurt?" Frenzy climbed up onto my desk to ask me.

"No, but he's in danger, and he needed to leave. Someone wanted him to use his research for something bad, and now he has to run away, or they might try to hurt him."

"Oh," Frenzy said, then glared. "We ought to go find them and show them what's what."

I shook my helm. "If only we could."

_ I bet Searchlight could,  _ Frenzy thought,  _ I wish he was still here. He'd be brave enough. _

Brave and stupid enough. And then he'd just get killed again. I sat down with a sigh, and Ravage leaped up into my lap, then onto my shoulders.

_ You're worried aren't you?  _ Ravage asked.  _ Do you think he'll be okay? _

I reached up to stroke Ravage. "I hope so. It's not just him I'm worried about. We're all in danger if this sort of thing can happen. I guess we've all been in danger our whole lives, it's just…" That was another side effect of having so many friends who were so good. Good mecha didn't survive in this world. At least Wheeljack wasn't dead. He would be all right. He was smart and resourceful—he would pull through.

But I couldn't stop worrying.

* * *

The next orn, I went and met with my classmate who could make fake ID's. I explained the situation to him, and he was completely sympathetic, and promised to help and to keep it a secret. I was grateful for his honesty and willingness, but I told him all he needed to do was teach me how to do this. I didn't want to put anyone else at risk by getting them involved.

It took all the rest of the orn to get Wheeljack's ID ready, because I wanted to do it right, and make it truly untraceable. I couldn't go back and bring Searchlight back, but I could do everything in my power to make sure my other friends were as safe as possible.

Orion and Ratchet were both at Perceptor's house when I came home. I joined them in the front room.

"Hello, Soundwave," Orion said. "Perceptor told us about Wheeljack."

I nodded.

"He said you were working on getting him a fake ID?" Ratchet said. "Can you even do that? Don't you realize that's illegal?"

I sighed and sat down.

"It's illegal, yes," Orion said, feeling a little uncomfortable about it. "I wonder if there's a better way. Surely we could work something out that didn't break any laws. For the most part, the laws are good, and are there for good reasons."

"Not that it really matters in this case," Ratchet said. "Because Wheeljack didn't do anything wrong, besides being stupid, and if we  _ don't  _ do this, then he could be punished for refusing to make weapons What the pit does the government think it's doing?"

I shrugged.

"So did you get the ID?" Ratchet asked.

I nodded. It was all set up. I'd even transferred a little credit into his account from mine, because he'd need to start somewhere.

I wanted to ask where Perceptor was, but then Orion thought about how he'd gone out and said he'd come back in a few breems, so I waited with them. Perceptor came in half a breem later.

"Oh, good, Soundwave. You're here," he said. "Have you finished?"

I nodded. "Everything's ready, and I have instructions for you to send him." I pulled out a datapad and handed it to Perceptor.

"Let's go down into the basement," Perceptor said. "We'll put him on an open comm. device so we can all talk to him."

We went down the stairs and sat in a circle on the basement floor while Perceptor set up the comm. and called Wheeljack. He answered and we heard his voice through the device on the floor between us.

"Hi, Professor," he said. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," Perceptor said. "Things are fine. Soundwave, Ratchet, and Orion are here, and we're on a speaker comm. so you can talk to them as well. I'm sorry Shockwave couldn't come, he was too busy, and he thought it might look suspicious in any case if he came here. He didn't want them to start watching my house."

"Okay," Wheeljack said. "Well, hi everyone."

"How are you?" Orion asked.

"I'm doing okay," Wheeljack said. "I'll be all right, I think."

"We probably shouldn't talk to you very often," Perceptor said. "In fact, this might have to be the last time for a while, just in case they start monitoring my communications. I talked to Shockwave, and he says they're already looking for you and he hasn't been able to do anything to stop it yet."

"Wow, they were serious about those weapons, weren't they?"

"I think they're more worried about the fact that you slipped away without them knowing, and also that you have evidence that could implicate them. They threatened you. If you show up and testify against them, they could be forced to do a full investigation."

"Oh… should I try to do that then?"

"No. Shockwave thinks the most likely scenario if you tried would be that they catch you and none of us would ever see you again. He'll deal with the legal problems. I  _ will  _ get in contact with you if things work out so you can come back here, but otherwise, you should stay where you are. Have you started looking for jobs?"

"Yeah. It shouldn't be too hard to find one if I have an ID."

"Soundwave's got an ID for you," Perceptor said.

"Thank you!" Wheeljack said.

"You're welcome." I put in, quietly, because a nod wouldn't go through the comm.

"Yeah," Wheeljack said. "There's an explosives factory that's hiring. It mostly makes charges and stuff for mining, so I'm not worried that I'll still be making weapons for the government, but… I don't know, I'm good at that sort of thing."

"That's great," Orion said.

Perceptor and Ratchet looked at each other. "Hmm…" Perceptor said.

"You slagging idiot," Ratchet said. "You'll probably end up blowing the whole building up!"

"Yeah, I know," Wheeljack said. "But hey, I can at least get hired and make a little credit before that happens—enough to live off of for a little while until I can find another job."

He was joking, I hoped.

"Well," Perceptor said. "I have some instructions that Soundwave's given me, do you want me to read them out to you?"

"Yes, please," Wheeljack said.

He did, while we all listened, and Ratchet wished he could get back to studying. Then, when he was finished, he asked if Wheeljack had understood all of it.

"Yes," Wheeljack said. "Thank you all again for helping me. I really do have the best friends. I know you all don't know me that well, except maybe Perceptor. Could you tell Shockwave that I'm doing okay, and thanks for all his help? And also to take a break once in a while. He and Paradigm are going to work themselves to death at the rate they're going."

"I'll pass along the message," Ratchet grumbled.  _ Every time I see him. _

"Thanks again. See you mechs eventually, I hope. Bye!"

The line went dead.

"Well, that's that," Perceptor said quietly.  _ I doubt we'll hear from him for a while. It'll probably hit Shockwave more than anyone else, but he has Paradigm taking care of him, so he ought to be alright. _

"This shouldn't have to happen," Orion said.

"I know." Perceptor sighed. "Believe me, I know this shouldn't happen, but you wouldn't believe the number of times it has."

"Someone ought to… do something," Orion said.

Ratchet looked up. "You know..." He spoke in a surprisingly soft tone. "That's what Searchlight would have said."

"Well, he would have been right," Orion said. "There's only so far we can go before we have to stand up and... and fight."

"I would caution you to be careful," Perceptor said. "I have helped several friends like I helped Wheeljack, and I'm still here because I keep my helm down. It doesn't feel good to roll over and take it, but if you stand up, then you make yourself a target. I wouldn't want you to get hurt, Orion. And I know you wouldn't want Ratchet and Soundwave to get hurt standing with you."

"If enough mecha stand up..." Orion said. "But you're right. We would have to be careful. I won't stop thinking about it, though. This sort of thing… it's disturbing. The government shouldn't have this much power… it's not right."

Perceptor nodded.

"I appreciate all you've done," Orion said. "Working quietly under the radar. I'm not saying I don't value that, but I feel like I'm eventually going to have to move beyond that."

"Well," Ratchet said. "When you do, let me know, because I'm with you," he stood and walked away. We watched him climb the stairs until he was out of sight.

"How about you, Soundwave?" Orion asked.

"I'll think about it," I told him.

"Thanks. I should get back to the Hall of Records. Let me know if anything else happens."

Perceptor nodded. "I will do that, thank you."

Orion left as well.

Perceptor sighed. "Well, that was stressful. I'm going to go work in my lab for a while. You're welcome to join me if you don't have too much homework."

I did have a lot of homework because I'd been working on Wheeljack's ID all orn, but I thought Perceptor probably needed some company, so I went to help him instead.

  
  



	58. Disappearances

I absentmindedly typed in the code to open Perceptor's door, and stepped into his blissfully quiet house. It had been a long orn of school, and I was ready to be done. I had a paper I needed to work on, but that was it. I grabbed a cube of energon and went to my room to spend some time with my symbionts before starting my homework. Perceptor was normally home when I arrived, but sometimes he got stuck talking to mecha. One reason I would never want to be a teacher.

I had taken a break and was about to get started on the paper when Orion commed me.

" _ Hello?"  _ I replied.

" _ Hey, is everything okay? Have you heard anything about Wheeljack?" _

" _ No… why?"  _ It had only been a decaorn since he'd needed to leave. Had something happened to him?

" _ Well, Perceptor came here more than a joor ago, and demanded to talk to Alpha Trion. They kicked me out of the room, and they've been in there for a long time. Perceptor didn't look happy at all. In fact, he looked… almost panicked." _

" _ Oh,"  _ I said, with a sinking feeling in my tanks.  _ "I haven't heard anything. Try Ratchet or Shockwave." _

" _ I already tried Shockwave, but he didn't answer." _

" _ He's probably busy. Uh… no, I don't know anything. If you find out what happened, let me know." _

" _ I hope Wheeljack's okay." _

" _ Me too." _

" _ Thanks Soundwave. I'll comm. you when I know more." _

He cut the connection and I sat back in my chair, staring at the wall. What if he'd been caught? What if the Council had him?

"Soundwave?" Ravage asked.

"Wheeljack might be in trouble. But I don't know. We have to wait for Perceptor to stop talking to Alpha Trion."

"What?" Ravage asked.

I got up and started pacing my room, but that wasn't large enough, so I went out into the hall. I knew Primus existed. I didn't know if he could hear us, or if he ever listened or cared, but I prayed to him with my whole spark for Wheeljack's safety. This time I  _ had  _ done all I could. Had it still been for nothing?

Eventually after what seemed like joors of waiting, Perceptor commed me.

" _ Perceptor,"  _ I said.  _ "Is everything all right?" _

" _ Are you home?"  _ was his terse reply.

" _ Yes." _

" _ Wait for me there. I'll comm. Ratchet and tell him to show up as well. You all have a right to know this."  _ Even his simulated voice sounded strained. Slag, this was bad.

" _ Do we need to contact Shockwave?" _

" _ No,"  _ Perceptor said.

I wondered what that meant, but I couldn't read his thoughts so all I could do was wait. Ratchet actually showed up first and demanded to know what was going on, but I didn’t know either, so we just waited in the front room for Perceptor and Orion to get there. Both of them looked very grave, and I picked up on what had happened before they even got to the table.

I could barely believe it.

"So what's going on?" Ratchet demanded. "I was in the middle of something, so this had better be good."

"I need to go talk to someone," Perceptor said. "So I'll let Orion explain. I'll be back late, most likely, Soundwave, so go ahead and shut things down in my lab before turning in." He turned around and walked away.

"What's going on?" Ratchet demanded again. "Is Wheeljack all right?"

"As far as we know, yes," Orion said, "But…"

I bowed my helm, looking down at the table, still not sure what to think.

"But what!" Ratchet demanded. "Just fragging  _ spit it out! _ "

"Shockwave's completely disappeared."

Ratchet froze. "What?"

"He's just gone."

"What! What do you mean he's disappeared? Mecha can't just disappear! Where the slag did he go?"

"No one knows. No one Perceptor's talked to knows. The Council hasn't mentioned a single thing about it, it's nowhere in the news, and Alpha Trion says he'll try, but that there's probably nothing he can do. They've already called in Shockwave's opponent in the elections to replace him."

"What!" Ratchet said. "They can't slagging do that!"

"They've done it before," I pointed out quietly.

They both knew that was true. This was not the first time a Senator or government official had disappeared. We hadn't paid all that much attention then.

But Shockwave had been our friend, not to mention the only senator left with a conscience  _ and  _ the courage to do something about it.

"Let's go to his apartment," Orion said, "Maybe he knew something beforehand. He might have left us some sort of a clue. Also, we need to find Paradigm and make sure she's all right. Come on."

We followed him out of Perceptor's house. Naturally, I had Paradigm's comm. codes. She might wonder where I'd gotten them, but I decided to risk comming her anyway. She didn't answer.

"Paradigm's not answering her comm." I said.

We got to Shockwave's apartment. There was a notice on it saying it was up for rent, so we went to the landlord.

"Hello," he said.

"I saw that you had an apartment open," Orion said. "And I uh… well, I…"  _ am a terrible liar. What do I say? _

"We wanted to see it," Ratchet said. "We're trying to find a place for a friend who's moving here in a few orns."

"Oh," The landlord said. "All right."  _ I wonder if they're with the government, trying to put someone new in that apartment I cleaned out, or if they're something else. Slag it, I don't know who to scare off and who to be afraid of these orns. I'd better be careful, just in case these are government goons. _

Good. He was going to let us in.

He took us upstairs and opened Shockwave's apartment, so we could go in and look around. Orion tried to be discreet about looking for potential clues, but Ratchet looked through cupboards, under tables and chairs, and even scanned the wall a few times.

I picked up the readings from his scanners. They told him that the wall was most definitely not alive.

In any case, everything was gone. Every trace that Shockwave and Paradigm had ever lived here had been removed. According to the landlord's processor, this had all been done less than an orn ago. Some government mecha had come and taken everything personal they'd owned away.

We left.

"Can we stop at the school?" I asked.

They nodded, though they were confused. I went to Wheeljack's office and found it in a similar state. All of the blueprints on the walls, all of the bins and datapads, all of the random pieces of scrap on the counters were gone. So was the computer. The only things left were the few things belonging to the other mech who also used this space.

"Slag," Ratchet said. "This is really bad. I bet his apartment's been cleared out too. Do you think they caught him?"

"I hope not," Orion said. "We'll have to see if Perceptor can contact him. For now, we need to find Paradigm. Who would know where she is?"

I tried comming Accord but she didn't answer so I commed Dion.

" _ Hey, Soundwave,"  _ he said.  _ "You've heard haven't you?" _

" _ Do you know where Paradigm is? Is she all right?" _

" _ She… Primus, mech, she's offline. Accord said she got up in class and said something was wrong with Shockwave and left… they found her frame down in the lower levels of the city, broken like she'd fallen. It was in the news…" _

I stopped. The other two stopped as well and looked at me, questioning.

" _ They said it was probably suicide… Pit, they just knew she would have stood up and said something about Shocky's disappearance. She's dead, Soundwave… both of them are. They're gone." _

"Well?" Ratchet asked.

" _ I… I'm sorry."  _ I said _ "Is there anything we can do?" _

" _ Nothing. There's nothing anyone can do, slag it. We never should have done this—we should have known something would happen. I… oh, sorry, Accord's comming me. I'll comm. you back, okay?" _

" _ Fine. Thanks, Dion." _

"What is it!" Ratchet demanded again.

"I got through to Dion," I said.

"Well?"

I replayed the conversation for them, not wanting to recount it in my own words. They listened, horrified.

In one decaorn we'd lost Wheeljack, Shockwave and Paradigm. One in hiding, one dead and the third… who knew where he was or what was happening to him.

_ I cannot put up with this for one more orn.  _ "That's it," Orion said. "Let's go back to Perceptor's house, we need to talk about this."

Ratchet nodded. "Slagging  _ murderers _ . I can't believe..."

Orion set out purposefully in the direction of Perceptor's house, and Ratchet and I followed him. At this point, I was willing to agree that something needed to be done, that we needed to fight this. If I didn't start fighting soon, I wouldn't have anything left to lose.

I waited up for Perceptor, even though he had told me not to. If he disappeared as well, we were all in a lot of trouble. He didn't come in until the middle of the off-cycle, and he wasn't pleased when he saw the light on.

He saw me sitting at the table, and walked over with a sigh. "Soundwave."  _ I think I need some privacy for a few orns, if you please. I'll try to be completely honest with you in that time, all right? _

I nodded and obligingly shrank my range.

"So."

"Is Wheeljack all right?"

"I contacted him. He's all right," Perceptor said.

"Does he know?"

"No."

I looked up.

"I… I couldn't tell him. Besides, he'd just come back here to look for Shockwave, and get caught and then…" he sighed again. "It isn't worth it. He'll be better off not knowing. We can tell him eventually."

"Paradigm's dead."

"I know. I heard. They had her killed."

"And Shockwave?"

"No news. I… believe he's still alive, but you need to promise me not to go looking for him, Soundwave. Please promise me not to go looking for him. He's already past saving, no matter where he is."

"Are you sure?"

"I… no. I suppose if we found him quickly enough… but to try would be foolish and you would almost certainly just get yourself killed. Promise me you won't go looking for him."

"You know where he is," I accused, though I didn't expand my range. "Don't you?"

Perceptor nearly denied it. I could see it on his faceplate. Then he sighed. "I know some things. I don't know his physical location, though."

"But…"

"Shockwave is gone. I tried, Soundwave, believe me I  _ tried _ ." He slumped into a chair, and covered his faceplate with one hand. "I couldn't get him back, or do anything for him." He shuddered as he drew in a deep, shaky vent. "I…"

"I can try differently than you can," I said quietly.

He shook his helm. "I don't want you in trouble too. Primus knows they'd love an excuse to make you disappear. I'm so sorry…"

Shockwave was gone. Paradigm was gone. Searchlight was gone. Wheeljack had barely escaped that same fate. It could be Perceptor next, or Ratchet, or anyone else. Orion was right—we needed to do something. If Searchlight were still here, we might already be doing something.

"Perceptor?"

"Yes?"

"Orion wants to start something. Like a rebellion."

"Oh, Primus."

"You can try to talk him out of it but it won't work. And I'm going to help him."

Perceptor looked as if he were fighting himself about something for a few moments, and I was tempted again to expand my range and listen, but then he just sighed. "You'll need a base of operations."

I stared at him, processor stalling.

"Use this house. It's safe, and there are places to hide, and a lot of space I don't use. Also there are several secret back doors we've found. Not to mention I've got an unregistered groundbridge in the basement, though I would ask you to use it sparingly."

"Are you se-erious?"

"I'm as serious as I have ever been," Perceptor said. "If you're determined to do it, you might as well have a good base to work out of."

I was even more tempted to reach out and listen to his thoughts, but he didn't give me time. "I'm exhausted," he said. "And so are you, don't deny it. I don't know if either of us is going to get any recharge, but we should at least try. I will see you next orn. Tell Orion to come talk to me."

I got up and went to my room.

"Is Wheeljack okay?" Ravage demanded as soon as I got in.

Oh.

He didn't know.

I explained the situation to him and the others, and answered their questions. It was true—I was tired. But even after they didn't have any more questions and I had turned off the lights, I couldn't settle into recharge. I kept thinking about what Orion wanted to do. It was going to be dangerous—more dangerous than any of the stupid schemes Searchlight had come up with. I was glad that Perceptor had taken us seriously—that was all I had really hoped for. But the fact that he was was actually offering us his help worried me a little. I had to make this work—I had to keep everyone safe. I had already lost too many friends.

I wanted to comm. Orion right away to let him know how Perceptor had taken everything, but he was probably recharging. We had a base now. A base and a medical student and a computer technician and a librarian and probably a professor.

Other than that, I had no idea how this was going to go or what was going to happen. It was a real possibility that we'd all just end up dead. And, oddly enough, while I was still reeling from Shockwave's disappearance, I was more excited than frightened about the prospect of  _ doing  _ something about it.

Ravage rubbed his faceplate against my screen.  _ You aren't resting, are you? _

"No," I whispered. I didn't think I was going to be able to.

So after a while, I got up and got to work on a program for a security system I could install throughout Perceptor's house. Next orn was going to be busy.


	59. Plans

As soon as classes were over the next orn, I went to the Hall of Records. Ratchet and Orion were there already, waiting for me.

"Okay," Orion said. "Good, you're here. Did you talk to Perceptor?"

I nodded. "He's going to let us use his house as a base."

They stared.

"What?" Ratchet said. "He didn't try to talk you out of it?"

I shook my helm.

"That…" Orion said. "That's amazing. He'd really let us do that?"

I nodded. "It's a good place. Better than here."

"Right," Orion said.  _ Of course, I'm sure part of why you think that is because you  _ live  _ there. _

I wish I could have frowned at him. "It's more secure." The only secure part of the Hall of Records was the restricted section, and even that wouldn't be too hard to get through if someone really wanted to. If I had had the knowledge at the beginning of my time at the Academy that I did now, I would have just hacked into the Hall of Records to get the information about telepaths that I needed.

Or maybe I wouldn't have. After all, that would have been wrong, especially when all I had needed to do was ask.

"Let's go there," Orion said. "I need to talk to him about that, if he's really willing to let us use his house that way."

So we headed over to Perceptor's house again. He was there, and waiting for us.

"All right," he said. "Come upstairs, you three."

We followed him up the stairs. The largest room on the second floor was his workshop. But there were several other rooms as well. He led us to a smallish, empty one. "I think you can set up your main base of operations in here, if you're really serious about this," Perceptor said. "It's out of the way, and there's a good secret passage that leads down to the basement from this room."

"Thank you," Orion said. "I really do appreciate this, you know."

"You're welcome," Perceptor said. "I've decided that I can't stop you and I don't want to anyway. Just be very careful, and move slowly and deliberately, all right? Also, I would like to be in on everything you do. I want to be… a consultant of sorts? Please don't do anything without running it by me first."

"Understood," Orion said. "That shouldn't be too hard." He stepped into the room, and I couldn't hear his thoughts, because I was honoring my word to keep my range small around Perceptor. "This will be absolutely perfect. Thank you. We're having our first meeting now, I think, if you would like to join us."

Perceptor nodded.

"Let's go get some chairs, though," Ratchet grumbled. "There is nothing in here right now."

"We can take them from the room two doors over. There are a few chairs, I think."

The room two rooms over was full of numerous boxes and tables and crates. There were some chairs, buried under everything else, so we dug them out and dragged them back to the empty room. I made sure to sit opposite from Perceptor so I could have the other two in my range, but not the professor.

"Okay," Perceptor said, once we were all seated. "Exactly what do you plan to do?"

"The biggest problem with this," Orion said, "Is that I have no idea. I just know I can't sit and watch anymore while my friends disappear. I am not a leader, and rebellion isn't in my nature. But I  _ have  _ been thinking about it. We need to start by making goals. What do we want to accomplish?"

"We want them to stop killing mecha for doing the right thing," Ratchet said. "So what do we do? We can't just tell them to stop."

Perceptor sighed. "Unfortunately, no."

"But," Orion said. "If we got enough mecha to tell them to stop, we could make progress. Shockwave always talked about having everyone on his side, and interested in what the government was doing. Throughout history we can see that the government worked best when even the lowest mech had some input on it. The sum of everyone's minds is better than just a few self-interested councilmecha, right?"

"I guess," Ratchet said. "Problem: everyone's too busy keeping their helm down so it doesn't get blown off. You'd have to be pretty convincing to get anyone to listen to you, Orion."

"We can start small," Orion said.

"You may need to start small, but you shouldn't think small," Perceptor said. "You need plans, and an organized mission. You need to be  _ prepared  _ for an eventual large following. Right now, you're just a couple of students and a librarian, but if you want to make a change, you're going to need to start planning big."

We all stared at him.

"I know that sounded unusual, coming from me," Perceptor said. "And that I've always cautioned you to avoid this sort of thing in the past. But last orn, one of the best students and greatest mechs I have ever come across disappeared. I know he's not the only one, or the only one who matters, but I think it's time to do something." His expression saddened. "I don't think there's any escaping it any more. All that I can do is help you now, Orion."

_ Why did he address me specifically?  _ Orion wondered. "Thank you. In behalf of all of us, I mean. This isn't just my idea, we're all in it together. So… I was thinking—and maybe this is crazy or stupid—but I wanted to try to get some expert advice on this sort of thing. Maybe before we start into it too far."  _ Not that I think he would answer. _

"From who?" Perceptor asked.

"Megatronus," I said.

"Orion." Ratchet rolled his optics. "Are you  _ serious? _ "

"He is running a rebellion down in Kaon. You can't tell me it's not going anywhere now. He might be a little radical, but so far, he's been asking them not to openly rebel. He knows what he's doing, I  _ know  _ he does. The biggest problem would be getting a letter to him."

"Do you think he would answer?" Perceptor asked.

"I don't know," Orion said. "But I want to try, to let him know that we're starting something in Iacon too, and we would appreciate his advice on how to go about it."

"You've been thinking about this for a while, haven't you?" Perceptor asked.

"Yes," Orion said. "Soundwave can attest to that."

I nodded.

"How would we get a letter to him?" Ratchet asked. "That's if we even wanted to."

"Coordinates of his room," I said quietly.

They all stared at me, and then Ratchet got it. "Oh, the groundbridge. I guess that would work. But we'd need those coordinates. How are we supposed to get them?"

"Can I help?"

We all jumped. Ravage was standing in the doorway, looking pleased with himself. I hadn't noticed him because my range was so small at the moment.

"Can I help?" Ravage asked again. "I want to help. The others do too. We  _ can,  _ you know. Laserbeak and I broke out of Soundwave's room a breem ago, after all. We can do things."

"We could send him to Kaon with the letter," Orion said. "And he could find Megatronus."

"No," I said. I did not want to send Ravage into danger. "I'll go."

"No," Ravage leaped up onto my shoulders. "I can go places you can't, and I  _ know  _ the streets. I've been there before. Not in Kaon, but in Polyhex and Kalis and Iacon. I'm not some harmless little store-bought pet. I'm a street cat, and you know it."

I looked down, not really sure what to say, but still not happy about his suggestion.

"Wheeljack and Shockwave and Searchlight are all gone," Ravage said. "It could be you next, Soundwave. Don't try to stop me. If you're going to fight those mecha who keep taking your friends, let me fight with you, okay?"

I thought about it a little longer, then nodded reluctantly.

_ Good,  _ Ravage thought, then jumped on Ratchet, nearly knocking him from his chair. He shouted and tried to shove the cat off, but Ravage curled his claws around the edges of Ratchet's armor, and just purred, refusing to let go.

"So that's the first thing," Orion said. "We want to try to get a message to Megatronus. But that's obviously not the only step we should be taking right now."

"This place needs to be safer," Ratchet said. "I know there are secret passages and everything, but we need to double-check where all of them are and probably set up some kind of surveillance."

I nodded.

"Soundwave, would you work on that?" Orion asked.

I nodded again. I was already working on it.

"I also think we should invite a few more mecha," Orion said. "Right at the start. Probably Dion and Accord, and I have some friends at the Hall of Records. We'll want to be careful, of course."

"I have an idea about inviting new mecha," Perceptor said. "Why don't we let Soundwave make the final call on that. He'll be the best at determining who can and can't be trusted."

"That's true," Orion said. "Yes, Soundwave, can I give you that job as well? I know that's kind of a lot to worry about."

I nodded. That would be fine. This was going to be like when I had kept Verdict and his little gang from catching Searchlight, only on a larger scale. Orion was no Searchlight, but he was a good mech anyway, and I would do everything I could to keep him and Ratchet and Perceptor and whoever else joined us safe.

"So what will I do?" Ratchet asked.

"Well, having a medic will be really nice as this goes along," Orion said. "And other than that, just having your input is valuable. I know you're always busy with school, but…"

"First," I said. "You can give Ravage a comm. system." I was not about to send him all the way to Kaon without a way of contacting him.

Ratchet narrowed his optics at me. _That's illegal, you_ _know. I'm not certified for installing upgrades yet._

"He's not going without one. This…" I gestured to our gathering. "Is illegal."

"Fine," Ratchet said. "Perceptor, can I have one of the rooms on the first floor as an office?"

Perceptor nodded.

"We might need to get some equipment off the black market, or steal it from the medical department," Ratchet said. "I don't have a license to practice yet, not for another vorn, so I can't get a particularly well-stocked office going legally… I can't believe I just said that."

"This might not go anywhere for another vorn," Orion said. "Let's hold off on stealing anything for now. If you really, really need something, we can go beg it off of Maccadam. He's got a working medbay in a back room of his oilhouse… then, you know that already, don't you?"

Ratchet nodded.  _ If someone's dying right here and now that's not going to help, but I guess that's all right. If we still had Wheeljack he and I could probably just build whatever I needed. Maybe we should bring him back here. Does he know about Shockwave? _

"No," I said. "He doesn't."

Ratchet glared at me.  _ Was that an answer? _

I nodded.

"Have you talked to Wheeljack recently?" Ratchet asked Perceptor.

"Yes," Perceptor said. "Last orn. But I didn't tell him about Shockwave, and I don't want to. I'm afraid he'll go looking for him."

"Why is that a bad thing?" Ratchet asked. "Shouldn't we be looking for him?"

"Absolutely not," Perceptor said. "He is gone, and looking for him will only bring more trouble."

"You know where he is, don't you?" Ratchet demanded. "Where!"

"Calm down," Perceptor said icily. "I do  _ not  _ know where Shockwave is. All I know is that I tried to find him and ran up against some dangerous walls." He sighed, looking defeated now. "If you look for him, you'll be putting yourself in more danger than... please don't try to find out where he went. It's too late already."

Ratchet crossed his arms, which was kind of hard with Ravage in his lap. "Fine."

"So, I'll write a letter," Orion said. "Ratchet, start working out how you're going to upgrade Ravage's communications, and Soundwave, work on setting up a security system. Perceptor…"

"I'll start moving furniture, and making a list of things we need. You're going to want some more chairs and tables and maybe some computers in here, also I need to help Ratchet set up an office downstairs."

"All right," Orion said. "That's good for now. We'll meet again next orn, same time same place?"

We all nodded, then left to get to work.

* * *

I watched anxiously as Ravage's optics lit up.

"Take it slow," Ratchet said. "Stand up when you're ready. How are you feeling?"

Ravage got to his pedes and tilted his head to the side slightly. "All right, I think."  _ I do feel a little unbalanced, but other than that, I'm all right. _

"Good," Ratchet said. "Soundwave's going to comm. you and I want you to try to answer, okay?"

I took in a deep vent and commed him. He was startled, but calmed down quickly and figured out how to answer it without any trouble.

" _ Hello!"  _ he said.  _ "Is this working?" _

I nodded.  _ "You've got it."  _ Everything seemed to be going pretty well.  _ "I'll send you my codes so you can contact me too." _

" _ Okay,"  _ Ravage said. I sent him my comm. codes as a message file, and it took him a little while to open it, but eventually he got it.

I took a deep vent and let it out slowly. I did not like the idea of him being on the other side of the planet.

"Okay," Ratchet said. "You rest for three orns, and then you can go to Kaon. It's too bad we can't just send the slagging letter through normal routes but I bet Megatronus's mail gets read, if he's allowed to get mail at all."

I nodded. I wished this was easier too. But we had decided to go through with this, and so we were going to have to take some risks. I was still more excited than worried, except about my symbionts. Ratchet, Orion, and I knew what we were getting into, but Ravage and Laserbeak and the twins didn't really understand. This was just exciting to them, like the stupid adventures Searchlight used to take us on.

* * *

Three orns later, we all gathered around the groundbridge to send Ravage off. He rubbed his helm against my arm reassuringly while Perceptor turned the bridge on and set the coordinates to an abandoned building we'd managed to locate in the central sector of Kaon. Then, without a word of goodbye, he walked through the bridge and was gone. Perceptor closed it behind him.

" _ You all right?"  _ I asked.

" _ Just fine,"  _ Ravage replied.  _ "You want my visual? It's probably not going to be very interesting for a while." _

" _ That's okay. Just stay in touch." _

" _ Got it!"  _ Ravage said.

"Are you all right, Soundwave?" Orion asked.

I nodded, and got up. "I'm going to my room," I told them, and left the basement so I could be with my other symbionts and help guide Ravage through what he needed to do.

The orn wore on. I checked in on Ravage from time to time, making sure he was all right. He always sounded confident and sure of himself, but I was still worried. I stayed up late into the off-cycle, and had just fallen into a sort of half-recharge when Ravage commed me.

" _ Ravage?"  _ I answered.  _ "Are you all right?" _

" _ Yes,"  _ he sounded pleased with himself. It had been nearly three joors since I'd checked in with him. I'd decided to stop, because Perceptor had warned me that if I called during a critical part of Ravage's mission, it could put him in danger.

" _ I found Megatronus,"  _ Ravage reported.  _ "And I found his room and I have the coordinates for it, and I left him the letter. That was the list of things you wanted, right?" _

" _ Yes."  _ I got up, feeling shaky with relief.  _ "Why didn't you… where are you?" _

" _ Somewhere safe. I'll send you my coordinates, and you can bridge me home whenever you feel like it." _

" _ Good. We'll do that as soon as possible." _ I walked out of the room. It was almost the on-cycle, and Perceptor was up already.

"Everything going well?" he asked.

I nodded. "Ravage is ready to come back."

I passed along the coordinates that Ravage had sent me and we went down to the groundbridge and put them in. Perceptor powered the bridge up, and I waited anxiously, until Ravage came loping through. He jumped up onto my shoulders, and I leaned my helm to the side, resting it on his.

_ See?  _ He thought.  _ I can do things. _

"Clever, clever cat," I murmured. "We didn't expect you to find him for a few orns."

"I told you I could."

"Yes." I noticed several scrapes in his paint, and one painful-looking dent. "What did you do to yourself?"

"I got into a fight with another cat," Ravage said. "Nothing I couldn't handle."

I shook my helm. "You should be more careful. Come on, back to my room. After classes, I'll bring Ratchet here to check on you and make sure you're all right."

Ravage nodded. "Okay."  _ I'm really fine, why are you so worried? _

I took him up to my room and then left to go to my first class. I had gotten practically no recharge, and I was starting to think that this rebellion we were starting was going to mean a lot of missed recharge in the future as well.

* * *

It actually started a little more slowly than I had expected. All of us were busy with classes. And it was surprisingly difficult to get anyone else interested. Shockwave's other friends were all hesitant. They didn't have time, and they didn't want to get in trouble, especially since we didn't really know what we were doing yet. They told us to let them know if we needed them for anything specific though.

We needed something to do—some direction to go in.

Three orns after Ravage had delivered the letter, we sent him back to retrieve the response. I let Orion know once we had Megatronus's reply, and he left the Hall of Records early to come read it.

He was really excited about it, but Perceptor made us wait for Ratchet who wasn't done with classes yet.

When he finally showed up, Orion hurried him into the front room, and he and Ratchet sat at the table while Perceptor and I read the letter over their shoulders. I had to keep my range very small because I was standing so close to the professor.

[Orion,

Thank you for the letter. You'll have to tell me how you managed to get it into my room. If I can replicate whatever it is, it will be much easier to communicate with mecha here.

I did not know that Iacon was suffering from so much corruption. I suppose that must be why appealing to them isn't working. I thought maybe my message hadn't reached them for some reason. Thank you for letting me know. It will help me determine what direction to take in the future.

I am honored that someone would ask for my advice. I hope I can help you. Of course, I want to begin by saying you don't need my advice. If you want to start a resistance movement, don't wait for anything. Do it. The problems are there now, so fight them now. Be careful, of course, but don't doubt yourself.

Your situation is very different from mine. I don't know what obstacles you'll face, only that they will not be the same ones I face. Hopefully my advice will be helpful anyway. Your first step is getting the word out in such a way that mecha know something's starting, but not who's starting it. I have some immunity because those who own me like how much money I make them. It seems that the mecha who 'own you' so to speak, are perfectly willing to get rid of you, so be cautious. Find a way to reach others like you, who are fed up with the way things are going. And find a way to reach those who don't know. Find a way to tell them exactly what your Council does, and why they should stand up and fight it.

I don't know what resources you have, so it's difficult for me to offer more specific help. I know that at the very least you found a way to get me this datapad, so you must have some power, or powerful allies. Use that. Use everything you have, because as soon as you're a threat—as soon as you start to gain a following—they will be using all of their resources to stop you.

I wish you good luck in your efforts. It gladdens me to know that there are others who are rising up against the corruption in this world. Thank you for contacting me, and I look forward to future correspondence.

Best wishes,

Megatronus]

Orion read it twice, then sat back in his chair.

"Well," Perceptor said. "I'm surprised he actually responded."

Orion glanced back. "Perceptor," he said. "I never doubted it."

"I know."

"I don't understand why none of you want to believe him. Is it because you don't want to have to admit that he's telling the truth about what's happening in Kaon?"

"It's still a little implausible," Perceptor said. "Even this letter. It's…"

Orion shook his helm. "Now is not the time for that argument. I think what he suggests is correct. Our first step must be to let mecha know that something's starting."

Perceptor nodded. "Well, I… need to go. I'll let you know if I think of anything." He turned and left the room.

I expanded my range.

_ He  _ is  _ letting us use his house. I shouldn't push my opinions about Megatronus on him. _

"You know…" Ratchet said.

"You have homework," Orion replied. "I know. I have work also. Let's just talk for a few breems, then think about it and have an official meeting... Is there a good time next orn? Maybe after I'm done with work."

"I have an evening class," Ratchet said. "So it would have to be late."

Orion nodded. "That's all right. Soundwave, can you meet then?"

I nodded.

"I wonder…" Orion said. "If I write something, Soundwave, can you hack into the main Iacon Communication Network and send it to… everyone?"

I nodded hesitantly. It would be tricky to do that without being caught, but I could certainly try.

"Okay. I'll write something. We'll keep thinking about this though. I'll see you next orn."

"Okay," Ratchet said. "Bye, Soundwave."

The two of them got up and left. I spent the rest of the orn finalizing the security system so I could move on to other projects. A corner of the meeting room was set up as a makeshift monitor station, with several screens I'd found around the house showing views of the front door, nearly every room, and the street and other buildings outside the house.

The meeting room itself was starting to look better too. It had tables and chairs and desks. I let my symbionts come up into the room with me while I tested the possibilities of hacking the central Iacon communications. The twins played tag, and when they got tired with that, they started re-arranging the furniture. When I was done, I tidied up the room and took them all back down to my room, because I also had homework.

* * *

Orion didn't come alone the next off-cycle. He brought Accord with him. She was still mourning Paradigm and Shockwave, but she had agreed to come just this once and maybe help us work out an idea.

She listened to Orion explain how we were thinking of trying to send a message to everyone, and shook her helm.

"Even if you could do that," she said, "What would it accomplish? Most of the mecha who see something like that will just ignore it without taking the time to read it. Maybe you'll get a few mecha that way, but not enough."

"Maybe it's all right to start small," Orion said.

She nodded. "I guess you're right about that. But what are you going to do after this? Think several steps ahead. If you can do this, successfully, which I'm not even sure is possible, then surely you can do something else… maybe something that invites other mecha to act, not just read. Remember when we were trying to get Shockwave elected, and we invited mecha to send us questions about him, and we answered them publicly and…" She smiled.  _ We got some of the silliest questions. It was so much fun. It really helped get the students on our side…  _ Then she shuttered her optics, bracing herself against the reminder that her friends were gone.

"We could try something like that," Orion said.

"But I doubt anyone wants to know whether we think the humanities department needs more money, or what our favorite color is," Ratchet grumbled.

"Hot pink," I muttered. Ratchet choked on a laugh.

Accord raised an optic ridge but didn't ask.

Orion shook his helm. "That's true."

"So," Accord said, "What sort of thing were you thinking of sending everywhere? Can I look over it? If you word the beginning right, you're more likely to get mecha to read it."

She and Orion talked about what sort of things he wanted to put in the message I was going to send to the entire city, while Ratchet secretly pulled out a textbook and started reading it. When the meeting finished, Accord and Ratchet both left.

"Soundwave," Orion said. "Can I send a letter to Megatronus?"

I nodded.

"Here," he handed me the datapad. "Thank you. I know you don't like sending Ravage into danger."

I shrugged. It was all right. Now that we knew exactly what we were doing and where we were sending him, I wasn't so worried about it.

He left, and I sent Ravage with the letter before turning in for the off-cycle. He came back cheerful because he’d been able to help. Maybe I could train all of them to help us. I was a little nervous about that, but the twins were already clamoring for a chance to go through the groundbridge like Ravage got to.

Early the next on-cycle, before classes, Orion showed up at Perceptor's house. He was excited about something and when I let him in, he didn't even wait to get to the main room before he started explaining it to me.

"I had an idea last off-cycle," he said. "Just before I got home."

I nodded, gesturing for him to explain it to me, even though I had already picked up the gist of it.

"I hope… I don't know if you can do this. But I think I know what the second step should be. I want to send mecha an invitation to give us the designations of their friends who've disappeared because of the Council. I barely ever leave the Hall of Records, and  _ I _ know at least two—surely other mecha have lost friends as well. We could have them send us designations, and then we could broadcast the list somewhere."

I nodded slowly. It might be difficult, but it was definitely a good idea.

"We'd have to make sure they knew that they were submitting anonymously, and that we aren't just some sort of scam or something. So before that, we should try to send out some other things, just to introduce what we're trying to do. We need a name for our… our organization."

I nodded. We could come up with one before sending anything out.

_ Soundwave's pretty much doing this whole thing.  _ "You know…" Orion said. "This is all being made possible by you."

I shrugged. "And you." We certainly wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for him. Ratchet and I didn't do this sort of thing on our own.

"Thank you," Orion said. "And thank you for being willing to help."

Well, it was what Searchlight would have done. The two of them—Searchlight and Orion—probably would have gotten along pretty well. I could imagine having Searchlight, Orion, and Shockwave all working together on something like this. The three of them would be unstoppable. The thought was saddening and frightening at the same time. The other two were both gone, and the Council would doubtless go after Orion too. He had more immunity because of Alpha Trion, but Alpha Trion should also have been making sure Shockwave was safe.

It might fall to me to make sure they didn't get Orion too. I hoped that this time, I'd be up to the task.

  
  



	60. Results

I sat, with my symbionts, in a little room full of computers. We needed this to be untraceable so Ratchet and I had built these ourselves, out of parts from Perceptor's surprisingly well-stocked basement. I had also been using a fake identity I'd made for myself to connect to Iacon's communication network.

We had sent out three short messages over the past several decaorns to let everyone know who we were. We'd gotten more attention than we'd expected. They had even talked about us in a public Council meeting and apologized to the city for not having found us and stopped us yet. But we were careful. And the mecha in the city, despite Accord's worry, were interested in what we had to say. A surprising number of them read what we sent them. I knew, because I'd been out there, listening.

So we had hope that this would work.

"Can we help?" Frenzy asked.

"You can help by just being here," I muttered. "But please don't distract me." I had to have access to all the large display boards in the city, and I needed to open up a two-way connection between the computers here and everyone we had gotten that message to before. I had been working for a joor already, and was almost done setting things up.

Because I'd need to have a two-way connection going, there was a possibility the Iacon Department of Security would be able to track my location. So we had set up on the outskirts of the sector, in a little, abandoned building. I had cameras all around it, so that I'd be able to tell if anyone was approaching. My symbionts were here, in part, because I needed someone to watch the monitors.

If they found me, I'd call for a groundbridge and get out before they got here.

When I was finally ready, I sat back and contacted Orion to let him know I was about to start. He acknowledged that and told me to go ahead.

First, I sent a carefully disguised virus through the whole communication hub that recognized all government or business-operated display boards and only affected them. I had to wait several breems before access to each of them was granted to me. Then I sent out the message, and waited.

It would be sent to everyone in the city. An invitation to reply with the designation of someone who had been made to disappear by the Council.

We had decided that for now we were just going to expose the Council's crimes. We still weren't entirely sure what we were going to  _ do  _ about them, but we probably had some time to make that decision.

I got my first reply, and quickly typed in the designation I'd been sent and put it through. If I'd done everything right, the public display boards all over the city would have gone blank, and then one word, one designation, would have appeared on them. I could imagine mecha out in the city stopping to wonder what was going on.

I waited.

It was another breem, and then I got two more replies. I quickly transferred the names to the board, and then waited for more. We had been a little worried that mecha wouldn't be brave enough to reply to us. Perceptor and Orion had prepared a list of about twenty to put up if we didn't get enough input from mecha around the city.

I got another reply.

[Searchlight]

I hesitated for an astrosecond, tempted to try and find out who had sent it. But then I just transferred his designation to the board.

Mecha did remember him.

There were a few more after that, and then even more, and by the time this had been going on for ten breems, I was getting replies almost faster than I could type. Most of the mecha on Perceptor's list got put up, as well as nearly a hundred other designations. When the designations finally trickled off, the boards around the city were completely filled. Shockwave was on the board, and even Wheeljack. I sat back, satisfied with myself.

Then another message popped up.

[Hey, Autobot, what can I do to help you mechs?]

We had decided to call ourselves Autobot—or at least, Orion had. I thought it was kind of a silly name, but I kept that to myself.

We'd already decided on what to do if mecha asked to join us. I would need to go talk to them first, to make sure they were trustworthy, but if they were, I'd bring them to base and let them talk to Orion.

I couldn't respond to this, though, without sending out to everyone, and I didn't want to risk letting the government find out about anyone who wanted to help us. I couldn't find out specifically who this was, either, because we had gone to great lengths to make sure they were submitting names completely anonymously like we had promised they were.

Maybe next time we sent out a message, Orion could include in it instructions about what mecha could do if they wanted to help us. We also might want to set something up where they could ask us questions on the public networks.

We got a few more designations, and several more questions, or offers to help, alongside some angry messages about how we were obviously lying, or just doing this to cause trouble. I shut off the messages, but left the display boards the way they were. They could stay like that until someone figured out how to kill my virus and change them back again.

Then I packed up all the computer equipment, pleased that I hadn't needed to leave it here. I called for a groundbridge, and Perceptor and Orion came through and helped me carry all the equipment back to Perceptor's basement.

"This is an amazing success," Orion said. "Did you have any trouble at all?"

I shook my helm. "No, but we need to set up a way for mecha to-o get in touch with us."

Orion nodded. "That's great. We'll think about it. For now, let's go to Maccadam's to celebrate. I've even roped Ratchet into it."

"Can I come?" Frenzy asked.

I shook my helm. He'd probably get stepped on or something.

I left my symbionts in my room, and Ratchet and Orion and I set out through the city. Every public display board we passed had the same thing on it, and a significant portion of the mecha around us were looking up at them, memorizing the designations written in the sky for everyone to see, looking for familiar ones.

"I've had an idea for what we can do next," Orion said. "It will rely heavily on you again, Soundwave. Are you willing…"

I nodded before he could finish.

"What is this idea?" Ratchet demanded.

"Well, I thought maybe we could go through that list and find information about those mecha. Who they were, why they disappeared, that sort of thing. Then we could send that out. Gathering information might be a little tricky, but we  _ have  _ to get it from reliable sources, so..."

"Hacking," Ratchet said. "And infiltrating places. Right... weren't we going to do this legally?"

"We'll do everything we can legally, yes," Orion said. "But..."

We stepped out onto a crowded street.

"Oh, so we're only going to follow the law when it's  _ convenient,"  _ Ratchet said.

"Maybe we should talk about this later," Orion said.  _ Some mecha probably heard that. _

Yes, some of them had.

"Hold on an astrosecond," Orion said, and we stopped so he could buy energon treats to hand out to sparklings on the way. The vendor nodded to him.

"Good orn, Orion. Seen those signs?"

Orion nodded. "Yes."

"Someone's trying to make trouble for everyone," the vendor shook his helm. "Slagging lies, probably."

"Do you know any of the mecha on those boards?" Orion asked.

The vendor shook his helm. "They're probably all made up designations."

"What?" Ratchet said. "There's about five former senators on that list."

The vendor shook his helm again. "Don't tell me you mechs think this slag's a good thing. We need those display boards for important information. Hacking them's against the law. They can point fingers at the Council all they like, but they're just as bad."

Orion considered that, and decided the vendor had a point.

He was still feeling guilty as we walked away and the first wave of sparklings approached us. I wanted to point out that if we tried to do something legally, the Council would probably make us disappear too, and that there was a big difference between hacking some display boards and hurting mecha. But I figured I'd just let him think whatever he wanted. If he brought up the issue, I would say something.

We got to Maccadam's, still trailing a small horde of sparklings, and Orion promised he'd come back soon, before leading the way through the doors.

The display boards were the talk of the whole oilhouse. I was interested to hear what mecha were saying about them, so I pushed my range out just enough to make me a little dizzy, but not enough to really be a problem. Now that my range wasn't  _ always  _ too large, I could stand to expand it more, and more often.

The general opinion seemed to be that Autobot had the right idea, and that we were a good thing. Only a few were outspoken about saying so, but there were more than there were out on the street, and Maccadam's was a good place to hear everyone's real opinions.

Maccadam himself came over to our table.

"Hey, mechs," he said. "Good job out there." He grinned at us. Neither Orion nor Ratchet had thought he knew that we were the ones behind the display boards, and I couldn't read his thoughts. He laughed. "You all look so surprised. You know you just confirmed my guess. Energon's on me this orn, you three. I think you deserve it." He leaned in closer and spoke more quietly. "And Orion, come over here some time and explain to me what you're up to. I might be able to help spread the word around a little."

"Thanks," Orion said. "I will, sometime soon."

"Good mech." Maccadam turned around and left. One of the mechs at a nearby table had heard part of the exchange and was watching us now. I tensed, but then one of his friends drew him back into their conversation, and he stopped thinking about us.

We needed to be more careful. I didn't think that mech had meant us any harm. He'd just seemed curious. But anyone could have been listening.

We got some energon—no one got high grade, though. Orion didn't like it, and Ratchet knew better, and I knew exactly what it did to someone's processor and wanted nothing to do with it. The mech who'd overheard part of our conversation with Maccadam kept thinking about us, though, and eventually decided to come over and talk with us—try to figure out if we knew more about the boards. I actually wouldn't have minded that, but I didn't trust everyone at his table, and if he left them to come talk to us, they would certainly listen. So I sent a private comm. to Orion and Ratchet telling them that I thought we should leave now.

Neither of them questioned it.

"I should get back to work," Orion said. "I'm already in trouble for missing so much these past few decaorns."

I nodded, and the three of us stood and made our way out.

"What was that about?" Orion asked when we were out on the street again. I waited until no one was listening and spoke quietly.

"Someone overheard us talking to Mac and wanted to come ask us about it."

"Ah," Orion said. "That's…"

"Orion! Orion!" a small group of sparklings was headed for us. Orion stopped and let them catch up.

"Hello, Curtain," Orion said. "What's wrong?"

"We need Ratchet," the youngling in charge of the group said. "One of our friends is sick. We finally found him, but he just keeps telling us to go away."

"What?" Orion said. "Who's sick?"

"Come on!" the little blue femme reached up for Orion's hand, but she wasn't tall enough, so she dragged on his leg instead.

"Okay." Orion reached down to pick her up, and the other sparklings climbed on as well. "Ratchet, do you want to check this out with me?"

Ratchet nodded.

"Tell me which way to go," Orion said.

We followed the youngling's instructions to a narrow alleyway that Orion didn't quite fit through. The younglings hopped off of him, and slipped into the darkness between the buildings on either side to fetch their friend.

I expanded my range to follow them to the little red, yellow and gray youngling, who was at the very end of the alley, curled up and trembling. He looked up as they approached, and whimpered, cowering back against the dead end of the wall.

Then blinding pain exploded in my processor. I snapped my range back in and staggered away from the mouth of the alleyway. Orion and Ratchet stared at me as I sank to the ground, holding my helm in my hands. I pulled my range in so close I couldn't hear Ratchet who was bending over me, demanding to know what was wrong.

The pain retreated incrementally, and eventually backed off enough that I could get up again.

"What happened?" Ratchet demanded.

I shook my helm.

"You'll tell me, slag it! What happened!?"

I shook my helm again, waiting for the younglings to come out of the alleyway. I didn't dare stretch my range out to meet them. An unusual feeling filled my emotional core and it took me a while to recognize it as anger.

"Soundwave, are you all right?" Orion asked quietly.

I nodded stiffly, though I didn't trust my voice.

The sparklings came out, dragging their friend with them. He was barely conscious, and the others had to support him, but when Ratchet approached, he struggled and tried to retreat back into the alley.

"What's wrong with him?" Ratchet said quietly. "Hey, little mech. Are you all right?"

The youngling shook his helm and backed away again. He looked familiar. I was pretty sure I'd seen him before among Orion's horde.

"Come on, I'm not going to hurt you," Ratchet said, but the sparkling screamed and struggled harder.

I put a hand on Ratchet's shoulder, and he looked back at me. "What?"

I just shook my helm and gently pulled him away, then got down on one knee and held out my hand, firmly stomping on my anger, and focusing entirely on the youngling.

_ It's okay, you don't have to be scared. We want to help you. Will you let us help you? _

The youngling calmed down, staring at me.

_ Yes, it's all right. You're going to be fine. You're not alone. Let me walk you through what you need to do to make the noise stop. Can you hear me? _

The youngling hesitated, then nodded very slowly. My range was so small that I had no idea what Ratchet and Orion were thinking, but the other sparklings and younglings all looked very confused as I continued to kneel in silence with one hand out.

I tried to explain in my mind as clearly and carefully as I could how I made my range shrink, then explained it again, just in case he hadn't figured it out. I watched as the youngling relaxed a little, then a little more, then simply collapsed.

"What did you do!" one of the other sparklings accused, glaring at me. I stood up again, and put a hand to my helm as dizziness threatened to send me to my knees again.

"What was that?" Ratchet asked.

"We-e-e," I turned off my screen so I could think in the darkness for a moment. "We need to-o-o get him some-ewhere safe."

"Is he all right?" Orion asked.

I shrugged.

Ratchet scanned him, and then did so again. The medic's engine made a deep, growling noise, and he reached out to pick up the little youngling. "What's wrong with him, Soundwave?" he asked, as if he had a guess. But I was still afraid to push my range out far enough to hear their thoughts.

"Not he-e-ere," I said quietly.

"Let's get back to Perceptor's," Orion said. "Is that safe enough?"

I nodded. That would be fine for now. Ratchet carried him, and the others followed, demanding to know what was wrong, and if he'd be all right. Orion reassured them that Ratchet would find a way to help him, and that he'd be fine. If they were asking me questions mentally, I wasn't hearing them. And at that point I didn't care. I wanted to murder someone at the moment. How  _ dare  _ they do this?

Perceptor raised an optic ridge when he saw us carrying the youngling through the front room.

"We're sorry," Orion said.

"Sorry for what?" Perceptor asked. "What in the Allspark is going on here?"

Ratchet and Orion looked at me.

I clenched my hands into fists. "Who i-is he?" I asked Orion. "Do you know who he is? Where are his cre-e-eators?"

"He's an orphan," Orion said, looking a little surprised, probably at my tone of voice. "He lives at a state-run orphanage, but he usually manages to sneak out…" he trailed off as I slammed my fists on the table.

"Soundwave?" Orion said.

The anger bled out and I sat down and put my still-aching helm in my hands again.

"What is going on?" Perceptor asked again. Again, I was the center of attention. I took a deep vent and sat up again.

"He's a telepath," I said quietly. "I was only in his mind for an instant, but I picked up that he'd just escaped from them… that same medic.."

"Pit," Ratchet said. " _ Slagging Pit! _ "

The youngling woke up in Ratchet's arms and let out a choked wail. We all looked at him as he struggled, fighting to free himself from Ratchet's grasp. Ratchet set him down gently, and he curled up on the floor, crying softly.

Ratchet shook his helm, engine growling again. "I can't believe this!" he said. "I can't fragging believe this!"

The youngling curled up more tightly.

"Ratchet, you're scaring him," I said. "Calm down."

Ratchet backed away. "Well, what  _ am  _ I supposed to do? We should probably take him back to Maccadam's so I can…"

The youngling screamed, covering his helm with his arms. Perceptor swooped in and picked him up, "Ratchet, I would suggest that you don't think about performing any sort of medical procedures on him, as I sincerely doubt that will help to calm him down."

Ratchet looked down. "Sorry."

"Let's ta-ake him to my room," I said quietly, and Perceptor nodded.

When we got there, Rumble and Frenzy looked up from their game of 'paint Soundwave's desk' and Ravage glared at us from his spot on my berth, annoyed that we'd woken him from a nap. The door closed behind us, and I gestured for Perceptor to put the youngling down on the berth. He curled up there, screams dying back to gentle wailing.

"I need all of you to take care of him," I said quietly. "Ravage, stay here with him."

"Who is he?" Ravage took a few careful steps toward the youngling.

"He's another orphan," I said. "Like me. And he can hear your thoughts like I can. I need you to take care of him, because he's hurt and scared, like I was when I was younger. Remember that, Ravage?"

Ravage nodded.

"I'll be back in a fe-e-ew breems. See if you ca-an get him to recharge."

Perceptor and I left the room and the door slid closed behind us. We went back out into the front room where Orion and Ratchet were waiting.

"I need to make sure he's all right," Ratchet said. "His range is probably enormous"

"Soundwave, why would that same medic…" Orion started, but Perceptor cut him off.

"It was always a possibility," he said. "They now know that what they did to Soundwave works. It was only a matter of time before they tried it on someone else. They probably planned to keep him locked up and use him for surveillance."

I carefully expanded my range so I could hear them. I didn't dare expand it all the way to my room. When the youngling and I had been able to hear each other, it had felt like an explosion in my processor, and I didn't want to risk that again.

"That's awful," Orion said. "We can't let them do that."

"They might already be doing it, to others," Perceptor put a hand to his faceplate. "Orion, please talk to Alpha Trion about it. As soon as you possibly can."

"And we really do need to do processor surgery on that youngling," Ratchet said. "He could be very badly hurt."

"Why don't we hold off on that for a few…"

"No. His life could be in danger…"

"Ratchet," I said.

Ratchet looked at me. "What?"

"I'll be able to tell if he's all right. If he needs medical help, I'll le-et you know."

Ratchet didn't like that.

"I'll go find Alpha Trion right now," Orion said. "And if I can do anything else to help, let me know. And… Ratchet, it might be better to let Soundwave handle this. After all, he probably understands this better than any of the rest of us."

Ratchet sighed. "Fine then! Fine, I don't care. Let him offline! Goodbye, I have homework to do."

He followed Orion out of the house.

Perceptor sat at the table, feeling very troubled. I sat with him for a while, then went back to my room. I opened the door and caught it before it slid too far so I could let it open slowly and quietly, then closed it behind myself in the same way. I had pulled my range in again, so I couldn't hear the youngling. He was under the berth now, with Ravage curled protectively around him, and I wasn't sure if he was in recharge, but if he was, I didn't want to wake him.

I did homework for a few joors, hoping the youngling would wake up and be willing to talk to me. Eventually I got tired of schoolwork, and started looking through the list we now had of mecha who the government had made disappear. I searched for patterns in them and thought about who we should do further research on.

We already knew a lot about what had happened to Searchlight. We might decide to do him first. If I hacked into that detention center's archives, I might be able to find the conversation he'd had with that senator, where they'd threatened to kill him, and maybe even his execution. I sighed. I really didn't want to watch him die.

But if it would result in the world knowing what had happened to him, I could stand it.

* * *

It was well into the off-cycle when the little youngling crawled out from under the berth. I didn't realize he was standing behind me, watching me, until he spoke.

"Where is this?"

I turned to look at him. "Somewhere safe." I didn't bother trying to stop the location and information about it from running through my mind. "Are you hurt?" Did he have a processor ache? How big was his range? Had he been able to control his range?

"I'm okay," he said. "I didn't know you could control how big your reach got… thank you." He looked down.

_ I want to make sure you're all right. Can you pull your range in close enough that you can't hear me? _

He nodded, and a look of deep concentration settled onto his faceplate for a while, then he looked up again. "I did it."

"You'd better have, or this is going to hurt," I said, and hesitantly expanded my range to include him.

I could hear an echo of Ravage's thoughts on top of the youngling's, but other than that, it wasn't that different from listening in on anyone else.

_ Can you hear me?  _ he asked.

"Yes," I said. He did have a processor ache, but it was milder than I'd feared. "This might be hard, but can you try to remember everything the mecha who did this to you… I just… It will help me to help you."

He trembled as he pulled up those memory files, and I watched and felt with him what Neurosis had done. Fortunately, the medic seemed to like to talk as he worked, so I was able to determine that they had made his processor a little different. For one thing, he had better memory storing capabilities, so he wouldn't get quite as much of a processor ache if he expanded his range too much. They  _ had  _ been intending to use him as a surveillance system, though. They'd even been planning on disconnecting most of his frame and just keeping his processor and his spark. It was horrifying, and by the end of it, we were both feeling sick.

"Don't wo-orry," I told him. "We-e won't le-e-et that happen."

"The same medic did that to you too, right?"

"Yes," I said. "He did. A long time ago. But I found mecha who I could trust, and I'll help you. Do you believe me that you're going to be all right?"

He nodded, and he did believe me, even though his natural instinct was not to trust something without a face.

"What's your designation?"

"Blaster," he said quietly.

"I'm Soundwave,"

He took a step toward me, then stopped. "What if they find me again?"

"We won't let them," I said. "Yo-ou might no-ot be able to stay here, but we'll find somewhere for you."

He looked down. I was surprised to find that he already didn't want to leave here. "You're Orion's friend."

"I am."

"Are these your symbionts?" he asked.

I nodded.

"They're nice. Can't I stay here? I'll be quiet and no one will know."

"We'll see-ee," I said. "Fo-or now, I need to recharge, and you should ge-et some rest as well." I pulled my range in tightly, and went over to the berth. "Do you want to be in here, or would you like a different room?"

"I'll stay here," he whispered, then crawled back under the berth to where Ravage was. Ravage came out and hopped up next to me, but I put a hand on his helm, and told him to go back and stay with Blaster. The youngling needed him more.

  
  



	61. Memories

I was keeping my range small to avoid another collision, so I didn't wake up until Ravage jumped on me and hissed at me to get up.

"What?" I moaned, and sat up. My processor ache from the orn before still lingered. I wondered if being in each others' helms had damaged my processor. It sort of felt like it.

"He's freaking out about something," Ravage said. I looked over in the corner where Blaster was crouched, trembling.

Pulling my range in even tighter, I approached him. "What is it?" I asked.

"He… he's back."

"Who?" Had Neurosis found us?

"No, not him," Blaster said. "The other one. That medic student one who wants to cut me open." He whimpered and buried his faceplate in his hands.

Oh. Ratchet. I sighed.  _ He's not really as scary as he acts, and I won't let him do anything to hurt you. _

Blaster shook his helm. "I don't even want him to see me. I want him to go away."

"He's around here a lot," I said quietly, feeling a little amused.  _ If you want to stay here, you're going to have to get used to him. _

Blaster curled up tighter and shook his helm again.

Did he want me to go ask Ratchet to leave?

He nodded.

I left my room and went to go find Ratchet who was in the front room, talking—not quite arguing—with Perceptor. They both looked at me when I came in, and I expanded my range so I could hear them thinking.

"Soundwave," Ratchet said. "I need to look at that youngling."

"No," I replied. "He's still te-e-errified of you."

"I'm not going to hurt him."

"I don't ca-are."

"Just because you're a telepath doesn't mean you own him," Ratchet said. "He needs to see a medic. We have no idea what that monster did to him."

"Yes we do," I said. "He's okay. He's more traumatized than anything else..." But he was lucky he'd managed to get away when he had. I'd found that he didn't know whether there were any others they had taken, but if there were, he was probably the only one who'd gotten away. He'd gotten lucky.

"Well, just let me look at him."

"No." I had never felt this protective of someone, not even my symbionts. I understood what Blaster was going through in ways no one else ever could. I wasn't going to betray him by letting Ratchet poke at him, even if it was probably for the best.

"How can you be  _ sure _ he's okay? You're not a medic."

I crossed my arms. He knew that I had spent plenty of time listening to his thoughts. I knew enough to be able to tell that Blaster was all right.

"Ratchet," Perceptor said. "I'm sure if there was something immediately wrong with the youngling, Soundwave would let you take a look at him. I think we can let Blaster calm down and get used to you before you give him a check-up."

Ratchet sighed. "Fine. Can I at least ask him a few questions?"

I shook my helm.

"Why not?"

"He's cowering in the corner of my room, just because you're in this house," I said.

Ratchet frowned. "Why would he be so scared of me?"

He ought to be able to figure that out on his own. I just shook my helm. "Do-on't you need to go to class?"

"This is more important than class. This is someone's  _ life _ ."

"No," I said. "He is  _ fine. _ "

Ratchet glared at me. "Fine? He's  _ fine?  _ Are you so sure about that?"

"You. Ca-a-an't. Fix hi-im."

Ratchet's gaze flickered a little and he looked away. "All right then. Don't come whining to me if he suddenly offlines." He turned and stormed out of the house.

Perceptor frowned at me.  _ That could have been done with more tact. _

I shrugged and went back to my room so I could talk to Blaster again before I left for classes.

I opened the door and found him standing by the berth, talking quietly to Ravage. He looked up at me when I came in, and smiled.

"Thanks."

I nodded.

"You need to go, don't you?"

I confirmed that in my thoughts and then asked him if he wanted any energon.

"Yes," he said. "Please."

_ Come with me, and I'll introduce you to Perceptor. He's the only mech who's going to be here all orn. You'll need to trust him in case you need an adult here while I'm gone. _

"Okay," Blaster said, and put a hand on Ravage's olfactory sensor, then turned around and walked cautiously out the door. I followed him. Perceptor was in the front room, sitting at the table. He smiled kindly at Blaster when the youngling hesitated halfway across the room.

"I'm Blaster," he said quietly.

Perceptor nodded, still smiling.

Blaster nodded as well. "He wanted me to meet you and have some energon… I know."

I wondered what Perceptor had said to him. I had always understood why Breeze didn't like us to talk that way, but I'd never felt the full frustration of it like this before. Blaster shot me a sympathetic smile, and I looked away, feeling a little embarrassed that I'd been frustrated. I didn't want Blaster to think I was upset with him.

"Hey," he said. "I can't hear you right now."

I looked at him again, then nodded and expanded my range. He had made his small enough he could only hear Perceptor.

I carefully skirted Blaster's range, and went to the cupboard to get some energon for him as the youngling continued to answer Perceptor's silent questions. When I had the cube, I brought it to the table and made my range shrink again. Blaster climbed up into the chair he was nearest to and hungrily gulped down the energon. I expanded my range over him, and listened for a while longer. He was doing all right. He didn't have a processor ache—not even a little one like I did. And he wasn't scared of Perceptor at all. I was convinced he was only afraid of Ratchet because Ratchet wanted to perform processor surgery on him.

His range started to expand, so I pulled mine in again, and finished my energon. When I was done, I addressed him.

"Blaster."

He looked at me and tilted his helm to the side.

"I can't hear you," I said. to let him know he could expand his range if he wanted. "Can you sta-ay in my room this orn?"

He nodded. "I can hear you again."

_ Ravage will take care of you. Is that all right? _

He nodded again, and I led him back to my room. Perceptor stopped me as I was about to go out the door.

"You know we can't keep a youngling here," he said. "As adorable as he is, none of us have the time to take care of him, and it would be difficult to keep him a secret for long."

I knew that. But I wasn't about to kick him out, or hand him off to someone who wouldn't understand. And I most certainly wasn't going to put him anywhere that Neurosis might be able to find him. I just nodded.

_ We can keep him here for a few orns, though, until we find somewhere safe for him.  _ Perceptor thought.

Yes, we could do that. I left for classes, and barely paid attention to my professors all orn. Orion kept sending me messages, asking if I thought it was possible to hack into the Council's records, and the Academy's, and then he sent me a long rambling question about whether or not I thought we were really justified in breaking the laws and releasing sensitive information to the general populace. And then a few breems later he asked me how Blaster was doing, and what I thought we should do with him. I gave up answering after one of my teachers noticed that I wasn't paying attention.

I went back to Perceptor's house with a scrapheap of homework and about ten messages I needed to respond to. Perceptor wanted to know if I'd made any headway in figuring out what to do with Blaster. I didn't bother talking to him, just shook my helm and retreated to my room. I forgot to shrink my range, and walked into a wall of agony about ten paces from my door. The pain sent me to my knees even as I reflexively pulled my range back. It took nearly a breem for it to fade enough that I could get back up. I hit the controls to open the door, holding my range as close to me as I could. Blaster was standing on the other side, looking up at me with wide, worried optics.

"A-a-are you o-okay?" I asked him.

He nodded.

"I'm so-o-o-orry."

"It's okay," he said. "I think it hurt you more than it hurt me.  _ You're  _ not okay."

I walked past him and collapsed into my desk chair. The door slid closed and Blaster approached me, looking guilty and worried.

_ I'll be fine _ , I thought at him.  _ I just had a long orn. _

"I can understand why you wouldn't want me here."

I shook my helm.  _ You know that I have nothing against you being here. Although you're right, the possibility of that happening too often isn't pleasant. _ I put my helm in my hands, aware that it wouldn't make a difference to him. He already knew how much it hurt.

Ravage leaped up onto the desk and put his helm against mine. I expanded my range just enough so that I could hear him. My other symbionts all climbed up onto the desk as well, surrounding me comfortingly.

I looked down at Blaster, who still seemed concerned. I tried to reassure him that I was fine, and this wasn't the worst I had felt. He went around me and climbed up onto the berth, where he had been sitting and drawing a picture on one of my datapads. He looked up at me again.

"Sorry I used this," he said quietly. "I got really bored, and Ravage said it was okay."

Just another reason I couldn't keep him here. Symbionts didn't mind it so much just sitting in the same room all orn and doing the same sorts of things every orn. Mecha did. Blaster most certainly couldn't just join the others and stay here all the time. I needed to find somewhere safe for him. I just didn't know…

Wait…

I  _ did  _ know where to take him.

Blaster looked up, worry written clearly across his faceplate. "I don't want to go anywhere," he said quietly.

_ It's all right. You don't have to go right now. And I promise they'll take very good care of you. We can even tell them… _

"No," Blaster said. "I… I'd scare them. It scares everyone, doesn't it? Even your friends? I'm a freak…" He wrapped his arms around himself. "I don't want to hear everyone thinking."

I didn't move. I couldn't hear his thoughts, but I still understood all of the emotion behind his words. They  _ were  _ afraid of me, no matter how hard they tried to hide it from me, and no matter how much they trusted me.

He curled up on the berth, sobbing. At least I didn't remember a time before I could read minds. I didn't know what I had missed except through other mecha's experiences.

I took one hand away from my screen and held it out to him. He grabbed it and held it to him as he cried. Eventually, he calmed down, but he didn't let go of my hand. We sat like that for a few breems before he finally let go and sat up.

"Sorry," he said.

I shook my helm.  _ Don't apologize about that. You know I understand how you feel. _

He nodded.

_ You know, I had a friend named Searchlight once who taught me not to think of myself as a freak _ .

Blaster looked at me.

_ I know we are, and there's nothing that can change that, but you don't have to think of yourself like one. What Neurosis did to you isn't your fault, and you don't have to stop being you… you just have to be more careful about it. _

He looked down again. "But…" he let out a little hiccupping sob. I reached out again to put a hand on his shoulder.

_ You're going to be alright. I promise. Something like this shouldn't happen to anyone, but we'll take care of you. _

He took a few deep, gasping vents and smiled up at me again, but didn't say anything. I took my hand off of his shoulder, mentally gave him permission to keep doodling on the datapad, and got to work on my homework. Eventually, he went back to drawing. Rumble and Frenzy watched him as he did so. By the time I had worked my way through most of what needed to be turned in the next orn, he was humming contentedly to himself as he drew an imaginary battle between various groups of stick figures.

* * *

He was with us for three orns. As well as we understood each other, it became more and more apparent that we couldn't live in the same room. It was surprisingly clean every orn when I got home, because Blaster kept my symbionts occupied, but he felt guilty about borrowing them from me, and as much as I tried to avoid it, I couldn't help being a little jealous of how much they liked him.

Besides, there was no way doodling on my datapad was going to keep him busy for much longer. He needed someone who could actually take care of him.

I came home after classes on the third orn, having made a decision. He knew it, and was waiting expectantly in my room.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

He nodded.

_ Is there anyone you want to say goodbye to, or thank, like Orion? _ I wondered.

He hesitated, then nodded. "Perceptor and Orion… and I guess that other one too, even though he's scary." He jumped down from my berth and I led him out into the hall, then commed Orion and Ratchet to let them know Blaster wanted to say goodbye before he left. They arrived. Ratchet stayed a respectful distance away as Blaster clung to my leg and haltingly thanked him for caring. He kept a wary optic on the medic, but he let Orion approach and kneel right next to him.

"Are you going to be all right?" Orion asked softly.

Blaster nodded. "Soundwave says so, and he doesn't lie, except when he tells mecha  _ he's _ all right."

Orion smiled slightly. "I know. Good luck, Blaster. You can always come to us for help if you need it."

Blaster nodded solemnly, and then Orion backed away.

I reached down so Blaster could take my hand as we left the house.

I would have carried him, but if my helm got too close to his, we'd probably have a hard time staying out of each others' processors. I silently requested that he pull his range in so I could listen to the mecha in the street around us to make sure none of them were following us, or knew who he was. He nodded when he was ready, and I expanded my range. I held it out at a painful distance while we walked to the groundbridge station. It wasn't very far, but I didn't have very much time, and the longer we were here, the more danger Blaster was in.

He stepped through the groundbridge with me, still dutifully holding onto my hand.

I had commed ahead, of course, to ask if it would be all right. The answer hadn't surprised me.

Blaster wondered what I was thinking about as I led him through streets that were as familiar to me as the Academy's campus. He knew the way too, because he'd picked it up from me over the last few orns as I'd been thinking about this.

I walked up to the shabby front door and knocked, remembering that the entry request function was broken.

Keepsake opened the door.

"Soundwave," she said quietly. "Come in."

I nodded and stepped into the house, with Blaster still clinging to my hand, nervous and frightened.

_ I changed my mind, Soundwave, I don't want to stay here, I want to go back with you. _

Cam was waiting in the front room, sitting on the bench.

There was silence for a few astroseconds.

"All right," Searchlight's mech creator said at length, looking down at Blaster thoughtfully. "Do we get an explanation?"

I nodded. I wouldn't force Blaster to live with mecha who didn't know. They might be mad at me, though, for keeping my abilities from them all these orns, and I wasn't going to tell them about Blaster while neglecting to explain that I had gone through all of this already, and that they could ask me for advice if they needed it.

"A-and a co-o-onfession," I said.

"Are you all right?" Keepsake asked.  _ That horrible stutter of his… _

I nodded, and led Blaster further into the room. I was just tired because I'd had my range out too far while we'd walked through Iacon.

"Sit down," Cam gestured next to himself on the bench. I did, and Blaster climbed up into my lap, careful to make his range as small as he possibly could so it didn't reach my processor.

I waited a few astroseconds while they wondered what I was going to tell them. Then I took a deep breath and started.

"First," I said. "Blaster." I put a hand on his shoulder and he grabbed it, trembling. "He… he wa-as kidnapped from the o-o-orphanage he li-ived in by the governme-e-ent and they-y were experimenting o-on him."

Keepsake's optics widened, but Cam nodded thoughtfully.

"He..." I said. "He, uh… can read minds. He's a-a telepath."

I had heard it enough times that I could almost predict what would come next. Shock, disbelief, horror, skepticism, comprehension…

"Primus…" Keepsake said.

Blaster whimpered and clung to my hand. He was terrified they would be afraid or angry.

"He's sti-i-ill trauma-atized," I said. "But he-e-e sho-ould be all right. I ca-an understand i-i-if you do-on't want to take him in after he-e-earing that…"

"Of course we will," Keepsake said.

"It might be dangerous, if they come looking for him," Cam said, still working through all the implications in his helm.

I nodded.

"But we can take him." Cam's optics searched my screen. "What were they going to do with him?"

I looked down. "The-e-ey were go-oing to re-eformat him into a su-urveilance sy-y-yste-em."

Keepsake put a hand to her lip plates, horrified. Cam felt much the same, but only nodded again.  _ He said there was a confession in this. I haven't heard it yet. _

"It mi-ight be ha-ard to take care of him," I said. "He's no-o-ot a normal y-youngling anymore."

Keepsake and Cam looked at each other.

"But," I said. "If you need help, you can ask me, because I… I'm a te-e-elepath too."

I let that sink in, listened to them go through those same steps again. This time there was a bit of anger too. All these vorns, I hadn't told them. Cam recovered first.

"That's how you were so good with the symbionts, isn't it?"

I nodded.

"Did Searchlight know?"

I nodded again.

_ Huh,  _ Cam thought.  _ I'm surprised that never slipped out. He wasn't one to keep many secrets from us. _

"You ca-a-an be ma-ad at me if you like. A-a-and you can change y-your mind about taking Bla-aster in…"

"No," Keepsake's emotions settled. "It's most certainly not his fault. Can you both hear what we're thinking right now?"

"Blaster can't," I said. "We-e-e ca-an change ho-ow big o-our range is… tho-o-ough I co-ouldn't until rece-ently."

"How did  _ you _ get to be a telepath?" Cam asked.

"I-it's a long story," I said.

"He was like me," Blaster said. "Only he was younger, and he doesn't remember before it. He doesn't like to talk because of his stutter, and I think he's tired, but I don't know, because I haven't been able to hear him since before we left Perceptor's house. We can't listen to each other at the same time, or it hurts us." He looked up at me.  _ Can I listen? I want to hear what they're thinking. _

I hesitated, then made my range shrink and nodded.

Keepsake looked down, and then up at me again, and I detected betrayal in her expression.

"I'm so-orry," I said.

"I just… you could have  _ told  _ us," Keepsake said. "We would have been able to… I don't know, account for it somehow. It would have been nice to know, at least."

"Keepsake," Cam said quietly.

"No," Keepsake said. "You could have trusted us. You  _ should  _ have trusted us!"

I looked down, wishing I'd kept Blaster from listening to them for just a little longer. I needed him not to be afraid of them.

"Keepsake," Cam said again. "Don't be mad at him."

I had expected them to take different roles. I had expected him to be the angry one.

"But…" Keepsake said.

"No. They were just mechlings. I bet it was fun to have a secret all to themselves. And what would it have changed, really? I'm sure it was hard for him to tell anyone, because they all reacted like this," he gestured at her. "Calm down, my love, you don't want to scare the youngling."

Keepsake took in a deep vent and let it out. "You're right. I'm sorry, Soundwave, I didn't mean to get angry."

"And we'll take this one in, still," Cam said. "It's… been too long since we had a youngling to take care of."

"Tha-ank you."

Cam nodded.

"He means thank you for being nice to him his whole life," Blaster said. "Not just for taking me in."

Keepsake looked at me, but I couldn't decipher her expression.

"He thought you might not want Searchlight to be friends with him if you knew."

"Blaster," I said quietly.  _ You don't have to tell them things like that. Please. _

He let go of my hand, and looked up at me, and I couldn't read his expression either. I was blind without my abilities.

"So," Cam said. "What are we going to need to know to take care of him?"

"I'll talk for you," Blaster said quickly. "Just think about what you want them to know."

I dictated through Blaster the things I'd learned about being a telepath. I couldn't hear their thoughts, but I knew Keepsake and Cam were listening carefully and would do their best to care for him, like they had volunteered to.

I was glad that Blaster would have a better experience growing up than I had, because in a way I felt like it was my fault that this had happened to him. I had allowed myself to get caught—allowed Neurosis to find out that his tampering with my processor had had its desired effect. I wondered how many other younglings this had happened to. I needed to find out and put a stop to it.

We finished explaining things to Keepsake and Cam, and then I needed to leave if I was going to get home in time to get any homework done.

Blaster got off of my lap to let me stand up, but then followed me to the front door.

"I don't want you to go," he said. Keepsake and Cam came down the hall too.

Keepsake smiled sadly. "He'll come back and check on you. Come on, let's get you settled. We have a spare room you can stay in."

Searchlight's room.

"Can you stay?" Blaster asked. "Please."

I shook my helm. "I'm so-orry. I-I'll come see you i-in a few orns."  _ Can you be brave? Can you trust me? I know these two will take care of you. _

Blaster hesitated, then nodded. He would be all right. We would make sure he was all right. And I would hunt down Neurosis and make sure… no. I needed to do this the right way. There was someone else I needed to talk to first.

"Be careful," Blaster said.

"What?" Cam asked. "Be careful about what? What are you going to do, Soundwave?"

_ Don't worry, Blaster. I'll be as careful as I can. Good luck. _

He smiled at me, and I turned and walked out the door.

* * *

I took the mass transit back to the center of the city, but instead of going home to do my homework, I went to the Hall of Records. There was no guarantee that it was a good time, but I got lucky and Alpha Trion was in his office.

He looked up when I came in.

"Ah, Soundwave," he said. "Were you looking for Orion?"

I shook my helm.

"No?"

"You," I said. "Neurosis is making orphaned sparklings into te-elepaths."

"Not anymore," Alpha Trion said with one of his typical cold frowns.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know."

"Then you don't know what he's doing. He could still be doing it. Whe-ere are the others?"

"The other younglings? There were only four, and only two of them survived the procedure. One is the one you found, and the other… they terminated her when we attempted a rescue. Where is the one you found, by the way? I went to collect him, and Perceptor said you'd already taken him somewhere."

"He's safe," I said. "I'm no-ot letting y-you have him."

Alpha Trion raised an optic ridge. "Don't take that tone with me. You sound like you think I'm going to harm him."

I shook my helm. There was no way to tell whether Alpha Trion could be trusted with Blaster. I knew Keepsake and Cam, and  _ they  _ could be trusted. "You ha-aven't stopped Neurosis,"

"No," Alpha Trion said. "I made a deal with them that I wouldn't press an investigation if they stopped trying to make telepaths. I demanded that they delete all their files on the subject."

"A-and you trust the-em?"

"No, but they know I'll be keeping an optic on that now, and if I so much as  _ think  _ they've gone back on their promise… look, I know it's not ideal, but the Council is being difficult right now. Bah, I'm making excuses to a sparkling. I'm sorry," He shook his helm, and for the first time I thought I saw actual emotion on his faceplate.

I still didn't trust him, though.

"You had better take good care of that youngling," Alpha Trion said. "Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"Is he really safe?"

I nodded again.

"Very well. I won't pry into that—not that I have time to do so. Was there anything else? I'm very busy."

I shook my helm and left his office. I still might try to find Neurosis. But I also had a lot of other things to do. I needed to hack into the east detention center's files and try to find information about Searchlight's imprisonment there. I also needed to falsify some adoption papers for Blaster. And that was on top of all the homework I still hadn't finished.

  
  



	62. Information

I didn't have my symbionts with me this time. This time, it was too dangerous. I flared my range, just enough to find out where all the guards were. They cared more about keeping mecha from sneaking out than from sneaking in, but a prison was a secure place either way. Fortunately, the records weren't kept in the main detention center itself, but in a side building with a door to the outside. The door was locked all the time, of course, but I had the code.

It was the middle of the off-cycle. We had decided that would be the best time, because no one would be in the records building updating anything. It meant I would be exhausted next orn in classes, but if I succeeded in this, then it was worth it. I walked up to the back door and inputted the code to open it. Once inside, I went over to the nearest computer terminal and activated it. The files I needed would be heavily encrypted and password protected, but I knew the password, courtesy of the guard who'd been on duty here to log information at the end of the last shift. It was cheating, and I  _ could  _ hack into it in other ways if I wanted to, but it was so much easier this way.

None of the recent information would be useful. Or, at least, I didn't have time to study it. I needed to find the files I was looking for and then get out as quickly as possible. Orion had insisted that I only take what I intended to. He felt a little uneasy about this because it was technically breaking the law.

I remembered the exact date, of course, of Searchlight's imprisonment. I searched for his designation and found his file. It was all packaged together, including video footage of his stay in his cell and information about the investigation made after his execution. I skimmed the written information but I didn't really have time to look at it. The challenge would be getting it to copy itself onto something so I could take it back to Perceptor's house. I supposed I could memorize it, but then it would be too easy to discredit it. We needed it to be official. We wanted to show everyone that this had actually happened, using official documents and videos.

I put a data stick into the terminal and started trying to get the data to download. It took me five times before I managed to get all the information. By then I had triggered an alert. I expanded my range to find there were guards headed for me.

Fortunately, I didn't need to get out of the building to get away. Communications were blocked in the actual detention center, but not in this side building, so I could call for a groundbridge. The video cameras had already been disabled so I wouldn't need to worry about anyone seeing the bridge. Not that they could do anything about it if they did see it.

The bridge opened and I stepped through.

Orion was waiting on the other side. "Success?" he asked.

I nodded and held up the data stick, then walked past him and out the door. He wondered if I was upset about something, or just being quiet, but he didn't follow me up the stairs. My symbionts were all recharging in my room, and I needed to look through everything we had before joining them, so I went to the meeting room instead. We were still deliberating about whether to simply send out the information or to make some sort of holovid about it. Orion didn't want to look manipulative, so he thought we ought to just send the information out, but Accord insisted that we had to make it more accessible or no one would read it.

First we had to know what we had to work with. I sat down to try to decrypt it. It proved nearly impossible, though. I gave up after about a joor. I was too tired, and I needed at least  _ some  _ recharge, so I contented myself with backing it up in several places, and then going to my room.

The next orn, after classes I went back to trying to decrypt the information, but made little progress. Orion stopped by about halfway through the orn.

"How is it going?" he asked.  _ He did get the files, right? _

I shrugged and kept working. He watched me for a few breems and I was surprised to find that he understood exactly what I was doing.

"Oh," he said. “Would you like me to try? I've had some experience with this sort of thing in the Hall of Records…"

He was worried that I would be offended. Somehow, that worry was more offensive than the fact that he was suggesting he might be able to do my job for me.

I backed away from the computer. "Sure."

"Thank you." He stood at the console. I watched as he started working on the files. I was a little shocked. Within half a joor, he'd finished two more files. I would  _ never  _ have expected him to be good at this even though he'd been confident when he'd said he could do it. I suddenly wondered why it was  _ me  _ who was doing all the hacking. He was at least as good at it, probably better.

Within two joors, he was working on the videos. He paused to send the information he had already decrypted so I could review it. I went to stand at another computer to check it. There was a form that had been filled out when Searchlight had been sent to the detention center, and another one when he'd been executed. I stared for a long time at the second one, which had Ratbat's signature at the bottom. Executed on charges of treason. A five-vorn-old secondary school student. 

Then I went on to the next set of documents, which were about the investigation. It seemed that it had started out well, but had been shut down quickly. They had been denied access to the files they wanted, including all video files of Searchlight's stay in the detention center. They had, however, tried to use the paper records and a video of the Council meeting to press charges against Ratbat. It had done no good, unfortunately, and the issue had been dropped. I found I was still angry about the whole thing. Angry at the senator and the enforcers and myself, and even at Searchlight. If he'd just shut up for once in his life, he'd be here this orn. He'd be here with us… or maybe he'd be wherever Shockwave was right now. He'd been too much for this society. Too much energy, too much honesty. Someone would have tried to get rid of him eventually.

"Okay," Orion said "I've got the videos done now… but I'm late for work so I had better go. You can watch these… or are you busy?"

I shook my helm. I'd set aside the afternoon to decrypt those files. Now I could probably watch through all the videos and still have time to do my homework. I needed to stay on top of that if I wanted to graduate on schedule.

Orion left and I stood at the console he'd just vacated and opened the first video file.

It was the front desk of the detention center. Searchlight was flanked by two guards. Seeing him again brought back more emotion that I would have expected. I usually tried to avoid thinking too much about him because it still hurt. But there he was, exactly as he had been the last time I'd seen him, looking vaguely unhappy, though not particularly worried. The guards talked to the mech on duty at the desk and then took Searchlight away. The video ended.

The next one was a grainy, sped-up video of him in his cell. It was difficult to see too much, but it didn't seem like anything was happening. I sped it up even more, until it ended.

The next video picked up where the previous one had left off, but it was shorter and had sound to go along with it. Searchlight was sitting in his cell, looking decidedly bored. Then senator Ratbat came into view of the camera, followed closely by two guards.

Searchlight looked up when they came into view. I saw a flicker of something like relief on his faceplate. He was probably excited that someone had come to talk to him, even if it was the person who had put him in that cell in the first place. He stood.

"If it had been anyone else, I might have you killed here and now," Ratbat said.

Searchlight looked a little taken aback, but not afraid.

"However," Ratbat said. "You are nothing but an insubordinate youngling, so I'm going to give you a chance."

"A chance to what?" Searchlight asked.

"A chance to take back your words and beg for mercy."

Primus, that had been the wrong thing to ask for. I watched helplessly as Searchlight's expression hardened a little. "I won't take back the truth."

The senator visibly stiffened. "The truth?"

Searchlight said nothing.

"I think you are gravely mistaken," Ratbat said. "Which of your teachers put you up to that?"

Searchlight smiled. "Oh, trust me, I was speaking for myself at the Council session."

"You?" Ratbat said. "A worker-sparked secondary school student?"

"Yes," Searchlight said.

"You are nothing. Poor, low-class, and utterly powerless…."

"Yet here I am," Searchlight said. "being visited by a powerful senator like yourself and refusing to grovel. Shocking."

The camera was aimed toward Searchlight's cell, so I couldn't see Ratbat's faceplate. But I could imagine his anger. "How  _ dare  _ you! I could have you torn limb from limb and no one would even say anything."

Searchlight scoffed. "I'm not afraid of  _ you. _ "

I didn't dare look away as Ratbat ordered the cell opened and sent the guards in. Searchlight dodged them both, then tripped one of them. He looked like he might be considering breaking out of the cell and running for it, but then the other guard unsubspaced an energon prod and slammed it into Searchlight's side. He screamed as lightning played over his frame, and then slumped when the guard backed off. The other guard got to his pedes, growling, and kicked Searchlight into the wall. I realized I was shaking. I didn't want to watch this.

Searchlight didn't fight after that. They didn't hurt him  _ that  _ badly, but it was still hard to watch. When they finished, they left the cell and slammed it shut behind themselves.

"Well," Senator Ratbat said. "Feeling a little more like groveling now?"

Searchlight struggled to his pedes to look the senator in the optics. "Hardly." I could see him shaking. But the effort it was taking for him to stand just made him seem stronger.

"You will die, then," the senator approached the bars of the cell. "If you won't take back your words, I'll make sure no one ever hears from you again."

He turned and stormed away, and the guards followed him. Searchlight watched them go, standing until long after they were out of sight of the camera. Then he stumbled back to the wall and slid down it. He put his helm in his hands and muttered something that I couldn't quite make out.

The file ended.

I looked down, tanks churning and spark aching. I didn't want to watch the rest. In fact, I honestly didn't think I'd be able to watch his execution.

I almost left the computer console, but I couldn't do that either. I needed to know. I needed to see. I opened the next file. This was another that spanned a long time. I turned the speed up and watched as Searchlight sat in his cell, or paced. Then that file finally ended. I had a suspicion what the next one was. I didn't really need to watch that one, but I started it anyway.

The file started with an empty room that had a force field in the middle and a couple of chairs on either side. I watched as a door opened on one side of the room, and a mech walked in, followed by a younger version of myself. The guard left and I sat in one of the chairs. It wasn't strange watching myself. I always saw myself through others' optics. This time, though, I couldn't hear anyone thinking.

I waited anxiously, tapping my fingers on the desk. The camera was set up so you could see both doors. Eventually, the one on the other side of the room opened and Searchlight came in.

I couldn't remember exactly what he'd been thinking, but his relieved expression wasn't difficult to read.

"You have two breems," the guard said. "Unless I hear something I don't like."

A bit of a smile pulled on one side of Searchlight's mouth. "Hey, mech."

"Are you a-all right?" I heard myself ask.

"Sure," Searchlight said, though the expression on his faceplate was one of concern, maybe even fear. We stared at each other for a few astroseconds.

"We're going to get you out," I told him.

"Okay," Searchlight said, and didn't look away from me. "Thanks." The faint smile was still there, but I remembered he’d been worried. Silence fell between us again. "So did you come by yourself?" he asked.

"Yeah. We found out where y-you'd gone, bu-u-ut they wouldn't let u-us visit la-ast orn."

"Oh," Searchlight said. "Okay… well, tell Breeze I love her next time you see her…" he trailed off, looking sad, then afraid again. It was so wrong to see Searchlight afraid. He was never afraid of anything. But then again, they had been going to kill him. I should have read more into his worry. I should have moved more quickly. "And…" He took a few deep vents. "And tell Ratchet he's got the best aim with a wrench I've ever seen. He ought to get a good exasperated huff or optic-roll out of that. He might even demonstrate said skill by throwing that thing at you."

I looked away from the screen as my younger self spoke again. "We're going to get you out of here."

"I know you are," Searchlight said, sounding a little more confident. "So, you talked to that teacher, right? Cablereach's friend?"

"Yes."

"Good. It'll be good to know at least one teacher already before you get into the Academy."

We stared at each other for a few astroseconds again, and then I nodded.

He laughed shakily. "You think this'll mess up my career?"

"Probably," I said.

"Primus, I'm an idiot, aren't I?"

"Definitely."

"I just couldn't keep my lip plates shut."

"It'll be fine," I said. "We'll figure so-omething out."

Searchlight nodded. "Thanks," he said again.

On the screen, I watched myself nod, then look down.

Searchlight took another deep vent. "Yeah. But tell Ratchet I'm sorry too, and thank him for putting up with all my slag."

"You can do it yourself once yo-ou're out of here."

Searchlight nodded. "Yeah. Sorry if I sound kind of… it's just been awful down here. I feel like I've been here forever and it's only been… not even an orn." He looked down.

"Not much longer," I promised. "Don't worry."

The guard shifted, then pushed away from the opposite wall. "Time's up," he said. "Can you find your way out?"

I nodded.

The guard pulled Searchlight back and shoved him toward the door.

"Hey, 'Wave," Searchlight called over his shoulder. "Good luck… with getting into the Academy and everything."

They left the room. The file ended. I was afraid to watch the next one, but I had to.

It turned out just to be another short, sped-up file showing him being taken back to his cell and then sitting there.

When it ended, I knew the next video would be the one where he was taken away for his execution. I steeled myself and told the computer to move to the next file. But it just wrapped around to the beginning again, with the file that documented his arrest. I looked through all the files again, but there was nothing. Either I had somehow not finished copying everything back at the detention center, or that footage had been removed from their records.

A small part of me was relieved, but the rest was angry. Most mecha knew that this sort of thing happened, but most of them were too worried about avoiding the government’s attention to say anything.

Searchlight hadn't just been willing to stand up, he'd been unwilling to sit down. When something needed to change, he'd  _ done something  _ about it. We'd planned to use that. We'd planned to use his death to inspire mecha, but now I didn't even have visual evidence. It was all for nothing.

At the very least, I could make Ratbat a liar if I found the record of the Council meeting Searchlight had spoken in. Searchlight  _ would _ be heard from again. He would be heard from all over Iacon. That would have made him happy. I could imagine his satisfied smirk.  _ "Go for it, 'Wave. Show the whole slagging world." _

But I would tackle that problem later. I made a few back-ups of the files, just in case, and then shut down the computer.


	63. Moving Forward

I skipped a class the next orn to go meet Orion at Maccadam's. Apparently, Alpha Trion wasn't pleased with him for how much work he missed recently, and so he couldn't get away at all this orn except during his break. I had a letter for him from Megatronus, and we needed to talk about our next move anyway.

I walked quickly, noting that even though it had been a few decaorns, one or two mecha were still thinking about our stunt with the public display boards.

I flared my range briefly when I entered Maccadam's just to see who was there before drawing it back in. Then I crossed the room to sit across from Orion. I stretched my range out just to the edge of hearing range, so I could make sure no mecha were listening to what we were talking about."

"Hello," Orion said.  _ I was a little worried you wouldn't show up. _

I shrugged. "Classes." I pulled out a datapad and handed it to him. It had Megatronus's letter and a copy of the videos and files we'd gotten from my trip to the detention center. Orion skimmed the contents, and subspaced it.

"So," he said. "What do you think? I know I've told you I just want to send the information—"

"Some's missing," I said.

"Really?"

"His execution."

"It's not there?" Orion asked.  _ It ought to be there. Unless someone deleted it from his file somehow. Executions aren't public documents, but they  _ are  _ supposed to be documented and kept  _ somewhere _. _

I shrugged. "I also want to get what he said to Ratbat in the fi-irst place,"

Orion frowned. "Okay… I can find it for you if I dig a little. I'm sure that's in the Hall of Records. What do you need it for?"

He would understand once he saw that video in the detention center where Searchlight was talking to Ratbat. "You should watch…" I trailed off as a mech came into my range. I recognized him. He was here reasonably often, so I'd seen him before, but I also recognized him from that orn that we had hijacked the public display boards. He had overheard part of our conversation and had almost come over to talk to us.

"What?" Orion asked.

I tried to decide if we should get up and leave or not. He didn't seem to mean us any harm. He was curious, and maybe a little excited. I wished I could figure out who he was, but I only got what he was immediately thinking about, and since I kept my range small when I was at Maccadam's, I hadn't been close enough to him to really pick anything up before he'd come over.

Orion finally noticed him, and looked up as he approached.

"Hi," the other mech said. "Uh, mind if I join you?"

He had a slight accent, and Orion thought he might be from Crystal City or maybe somewhere in Polyhex. He looked at me.  _ He's not a threat, is he? _

I had no idea. I wasn't sure what to tell him.

_ Soundwave? _

"If…" the other mech said. "That's okay." He hesitated, waiting as the silence drifted toward awkwardness.

"It's fine," Orion said. "Sit down."

The other mech smiled and sat between us. He was a dark maroon color, with blue-gray optics, and he was almost as tall as Orion.

"My designation is Orion," Orion held out a hand. The other mech shook it.

"Ironhide."  _ I really hope these are the right mechs. The ones from last time. Otherwise this might get a little awkward. Who am I kidding—it's awkward already. _

"Nice to meet you," Orion said.  _ Soundwave, what does he want…? I guess you can't answer that at the moment, can you? And it would be rude to comm… _

"Yeah," Ironhide said with a lopsided grin. "You too. Hey, uh…"  _ How the pit do I ask this? I should have thought this through better.  _ "This is gonna sound weird, but last time I saw you here, I heard you say something… made it sound like you know something about those display boards the other decaorn… just thought I'd ask."

Orion looked to me again.

Well, I didn't think he had any intention of turning us in. I nodded slightly.

"Why are you asking, exactly?" Orion said.  _ I recognize that insignia on his shoulder. He's Elite Guard. They work for the Council… But Soundwave doesn't seem to think he's a serious threat. _

"I'm just curious," Ironhide said. "I think it's…"  _ It's a good thing they're doing, whoever they are.  _ "I wouldn't necessarily say I'd want to get involved in it, but I'm interested, and I'm certainly not against it."

Orion considered asking me again whether Ironhide was trustworthy, but then decided my silence was enough of a confirmation. "My friends and I were responsible for the display boards," he said quietly. "What do you want to know?"

Ironhide leaned in. "Really?"

Orion nodded. "I will have to ask you to try to keep anything I say to you a secret."

"Of course," Ironhide said.

"Thank you," Orion said, glancing at me. I nodded again.

Ironhide noticed, and was curious, but he already knew what he wanted to ask. "I don't really care how you did it. I just want to know… what do you think you're going to accomplish? I mean, the Council does make mecha disappear, but everyone knows that already. Stirring it up and reminding everybot about it's bound to get you attention, but… what are you going to do after that?"

Orion nodded. "For now—probably for a while in the future too—we are going to keep putting out more information. The next thing we'll do is highlight a few of the mecha on that list we compiled. We've been gathering information about one of them, and what the Council did to him."

Ironhide nodded, though he was honestly a little disappointed. "Hmm… How long are you gonna do that sort of thing for?"

"I do not know," Orion said. "In all honesty, I'm not certain  _ what  _ to do after that, though I do know our eventual goals."

Did he really have to get all self-conscious right now? I was starting to think that getting Ironhide on our side might be a very good thing. His job meant he was in the Council Hall a lot. Having someone on the inside would be useful.

Orion continued. "I have studied great revolutions of the past, but many of them used strength and war to overthrow corrupt governments…I do not wish to stoop to such levels. I believe we should test every other option first. I want to attempt to do this peacefully. My greatest hope is that once we have enough support, we can appeal to the Council itself and petition them to make changes that will benefit the lower classes. If we have enough mecha on our side, it will be difficult for them to make us disappear."

Ironhide blinked, considering that.  _ So they  _ are  _ actually ambitious. I don't know if it will work… Maybe this mech's got the right idea, though. Someone ought to be standing up to the Council. I just hope he and his friends don't get hurt. He doesn't seem to really understand what he's getting into. _

"Unfortunately, there is no way to tell how far this will go," Orion said. "We don't have the strength to stand up to the Council yet, and from history I can see that it is difficult to gain any sort of following while hiding."

"Well…" Ironhide said quietly. "I think you might have Primus on your side at the very least."

"I hope so," Orion said.

"Hey…" Ironhide said. "So what do you mean by gaining a following? Are you just talking about a bigger readership for those little messages you've been sending out, or are you talking about mecha actually being a part of what you're doing?"  _ This seems kind of dangerous, but there's something I like about this mech, and they've obviously got  _ something  _ going for them if they can hack the public communications network. _

"Both," Orion said.

"If you want, I know some mechs who… might be interested in joining you. Not me, of course… at least not yet, not without thinking about it for a while…"  _ Chromia would probably kill me if I got involved in something like this.  _ "But I know mecha. So… are you looking to increase your numbers?"

Orion deferred to me on that one.

"Soon," I said. We needed just a little more time to work that process out.

"Thank you for the offer to help us find mecha who are interested in this," Orion said. "Can we get back to you about that? Soundwave here will want to talk to them first—he's in charge of recruitment."

Ironhide looked at me.  _ Huh… maybe they need to reassign him? I wouldn't want to be recruited by someone with a faceplate like that. He's fragging creepy. _

Maybe if Blaster was older he'd be able to do that instead. It wouldn't be too bad, though—I didn't need to talk to anyone, just sit quietly in the background while someone else talked to them.

"Okay. No problem," Ironhide said. "And thanks for trusting me. You didn't have to."

"You're welcome," Orion said. "So if you aren't interested in being part of this, was it mere curiosity that brought you to speak to us?"

"Not just that," Ironhide said. "I say I'm not interested, but that's not quite true. I just… I agree there are things wrong with the way the Council works. I'm in the Elite Guard, and it's our job to keep the Councilmechs safe."

Orion nodded. "In that case, perhaps it's best if you do stay out of this, for your own safety."

"Nah," Ironhide said. "And I mean, I respect my post, but I can see more than anymech how they've gone bad, and while I don't want to betray them out of principle, I wouldn't be averse to a little social change."

"How long have you held that post?" Orion asked.

"Just over two vorns," Ironhide said.

"Then you would know Shockwave."

"Knew," Ironhide said. "Yeah."

"He was a friend of ours," Orion said quietly.

Ironhide bowed his helm. "I didn't get assigned to him much, but I know he was a good mech."

"One of the best," Orion agreed. "It was after his disappearance that we decided to begin this… endeavor."

Ironhide nodded.

Silence fell for a few astroseconds.

"So who are you anyway, Orion Pax?"  _ There's something… different about him. Something almost unreal. _

"I am merely an archivist," Orion said. "A clerk, in the Hall of Records. A much more humble profession than yours."

"Nah," Ironhide said. "A clerk, huh?"  _ I can believe that, I guess.  _ "How long?"

They started to talk about the Hall of Records and then the conversation drifted and they discovered that they had a few more mutual friends. Of course, they didn't have time to talk for too long before Orion had to excuse himself. His break only lasted so long, and he needed to get back to the Archives. I got up when he did, and followed him out.

"So," Orion said, once we were outside. "I assume we can trust him?"

I nodded. I was relatively sure that we could. Unless he accidentally told someone, we'd be fine.

"I will review the files," Orion said. "And attempt to find the other one you were looking for."

"Thank you," I said.

"No. Thank  _ you _ . And thank you for allowing Ravage to take letters to Megatronus for me."

I nodded, and then we went different ways—Orion returned to the Hall of Records and I went back to campus.

Since Orion wasn't available for the rest of the orn, I'd decided it would be a good time to finish one of my other personal projects. After classes were over I went home to get my symbionts. I didn't need to bring them, but I thought they deserved to get out of the house for a little while. I decided to bring my homework so I could stay longer, and told Perceptor that I would be out late, but reachable if anyone needed to contact me.

Then I left.

"Where are we going?" Frenzy asked from his place on top of my helm.

"Guess." I said.

"Okay," Frenzy tilted his helm to the side. "Uh… is it in Iacon?"

I nodded, and he had to hold on as my helm tipped forward. I could feel him smiling. "Is it in Simfur?" he asked, knowing the answer already.

I shook my helm and he laughed as he held on tighter. "Is it at the school?"

I shook my helm again.

"Is it a park?"

No.

"Is it at that place Orion works at?"

No.

"Are we going to visit someone?"

Yes.

"Are we going to visit… Searchlight's creators, and Blaster?"

Yes.

"Can we go to the park while we're there?"

"Maybe," I said. We would see. It depended on how everything else went.

"Are we going to take the mass transit?"

"Yes." If I hadn't brought them, then I could probably do homework on the way there, but as it was, I would have to make sure the twins didn't jump out the window or bother anyone.

The mass transit ride was about as hectic I expected it to be, maybe even a little worse. Even Ravage acted up. But it wasn't very long, and then we were walking distance from Searchlight's house. When I was a block away, I expanded my range to cover the apartment. Blaster was having a conversation with Keepsake about a game he'd played on the streets of Iacon with the other sparklings and younglings there.

As I got closer, I shrank my range, and then when I was about to step into Blaster's range, I pulled mine as close as I could. I felt blind for the last several steps to the door. I wished I could listen as Keepsake got up and came to answer my knock, but I didn't want to risk overlapping with Blaster.

The door slid open and Keepsake stood there, smiling. Blaster poked his helm around the corner of the hall, and then came out as well. He sprinted over and attached himself to my leg, burying his faceplate in it.

"Hey," I said, kneeling and putting a hand on his helm.  _ What is it? _

He smiled up at me. "I'm so glad you came!" he said.

"Come in," Keepsake said. "Let's go to the kitchen. Cam's not home right now."

I nodded and followed her to the kitchen with Blaster still clinging to my leg. When we got there he hopped off and climbed up onto Keepsake's lap. She put her arms around him, and he leaned against her, optics shuttered and smiling.

"I see you're getting along all right," I said quietly.

Keepsake smiled. "He's the sweetest little thing. I… it's been too long."

I didn't need to read her processor to know she was thinking about Searchlight. "Blaster, do you still want to stay here?" I asked.

Blaster opened his optics. "Yes!" he said. "I like it here. And Keepsake and Cam are really nice. Cam shows me how to play games, and Keepsake doesn't think I'm a freak."

"Good," I said. He would have a good home here. Even after everything that had happened to him, he'd be all right here.

Blaster nodded. "I will."

And they would teach him to use his power responsibly as well. They would have to be careful with him, but he would do fine. Better than I had, at least. "Keepsake," I said, and unsubspaced a thin datapad. I set it down on the table and pushed it toward her.

She reached out and took it, then turned it on and looked at the contents. "Adoption forms," she said quietly. "Filled out and finalized…"

"They ju-ust need your signature," I said.

Keepsake looked up and I saw fear flicker briefly in her optics. "Are these illegal?"

I shook my helm. I'd asked Alpha Trion for them. Most of the time, I hated approaching him, but for Keepsake, Cam, and Blaster, it was worth it. "It's official… I know a Councilor who was able to-o get it."

Keepsake shuttered her optics, and smiled, trembling.

"Does this mean I could really belong to them?" Blaster said. "Really? Bonded and everything?"

I nodded.

His optics shone. "Thank you so much!"

I was glad that he was happy here. I had figured he would be. I didn't know any better mecha than Searchlight's creators.

"And you should come visit," Blaster said. "I don't just mean thank you for the adoption forms, Soundwave, you saved me from those mechs who…" He winced and Keepsake put a protective arm around him. "…in any case, when you found me, you didn't even think about leaving me there. I know most mecha would have at least  _ thought  _ about abandoning me, but you just wanted to help."

I shrugged. I knew what it was like.

Blaster nodded, looking a little more solemn. "But I'm going to be okay, because of you."

I nodded. "I was gla-a-ad to help."

"Keepsake told me about Searchlight," Blaster said.

I froze.

"Of course, I already knew about him because you think about him a lot. I think he must have been really good, like Keepsake and Cam and you."

"He was better," I said softly.

Keepsake's smile faded, and she shuttered her optics. "He was."

"I want to be just like him," Blaster said.

I shook my helm, feeling a little amused. "Maybe not exactly like him," I said. "He di-id get…" Killed. It was useless to sugarcoat things for a youngling who could read minds. I knew that better than anymech.

Blaster shrugged. "I guess," he said quietly.

"It's good to see you here Soundwave," Keepsake said. "You come by so rarely. I know you're busy, but…"

"I'm sorry," I said. "I sho-o-ould come more."

"No, it's fine," Keepsake said. "You…"

"It's not," I said. "Y-you raised me, more than anyone else."

Keepsake leaned over the table and put a hand on my shoulder. "Now that I understand better what your life was like as a youngling, I wish I could have done more."

I looked down.

"We'll do for Blaster what we couldn't for you," Keepsake said. "He won't need to be as strong as you were. Oh, Soundwave, I'm so glad Searchlight befriended you. You were the best friend he could ever have had."

I shook my helm. "He was always looking out for me. I ju-ust…"

"No," Keepsake said. "He was brilliant, but always getting into so much trouble. We were worried about letting him leave home to go to that school in Kalis. But he got into a lot  _ less  _ trouble there and I think it was because  _ you _ were looking out for  _ him _ . You took care of each other, like best friends should."

I didn't answer. I hadn't taken care of him in the end. I had let him down and now he was offline.

"I'm so sorry," Keepsake said. She took her hand off of my shoulder and put it over my hand.

"We could…" Blaster looked between the two of us. "Talk about something happier."

"Oh," Keepsake said. "Of course."

I nodded. Blaster was probably feeling our loss almost as keenly as we were. It wasn't fair really, to have to share everything everyone else did.

"It's okay," he said, smiling up at me. "I don't mind that much."

"How long are you staying?" Keepsake asked. “Do you need to leave soon?”

I shook my helm. "I brought my ho-omework."

"Can I play with Rumble and Frenzy?" Blaster asked.

I nodded.

Blaster scrambled off of Keepsake's lap and my symbionts joined him, except for Laserbeak.

"You should probably get him some pets," I said softly.

Keepsake nodded. "We're looking into it. We'll find him some."

I got out my homework, and dared to expand my range so she was in it. She was going through a mental list of all the symbionts in the shelter who might make appropriate companions for Blaster.

I started in on my homework. I was a little tense—this place brought back too many memories. But I managed to keep all of my emotions at bay and focus on my work. Eventually, the sun went down. Cam came home and he and Keepsake and I talked about the adoption papers a little more. Then Blaster needed to recharge, and I needed to catch a late transit back to Central Iacon.

I said goodbye and promised to come and visit soon, then left with all of my symbionts clinging to me. I still had a little homework, but I figured I could do it the next orn. I got on the transit and sat down. Rumble and Frenzy were both recharging, so I gently put them down on the seat next to me. Rumble shifted and whimpered, deep in an uncomfortable dream, and Frenzy instinctively held him more tightly to calm him. Ravage slunk off of my shoulders and wrapped himself around them, and Laserbeak clung to the back of the seat, also dozing off.

I realized I could probably do some homework now, but I didn't want to.

Blaster would be all right. In fact, he'd be a lot better off than I had been. He would have caretakers who loved him. It was wrong to feel jealous, and it was silly to feel sorry for myself, but it wasn't fair.

Blaster was filling that hole that Searchlight had left. This would heal Keepsake and Cam, at least in part. But he could never replace my best friend. No one could replace Searchlight. And nothing we did, no matter how hard Orion and Ratchet and I worked, would ever equate to having him back.

* * *

Two orns later, we sent out our presentation about Searchlight. I wasn't there for it—I had class. But we had hacked into the city's information hub again, and sent out a mass notice to every datapad and computer terminal that was connected to the main communication grid.

I got it on my datapad, and so did the rest of the class I was in, all at the same time. Half of the students checked it. Some were annoyed or frightened, but many were interested. The instructor wasn't paying much attention to the rest of the lesson, and when it was over and she had dismissed us, she pulled out a datapad to look at the message too.

We got another message from the school a few breems later, apologizing for the previous one and assuring the students that the Academy didn't support revolutionary propaganda, and that everything possible was being done to put a stop to it.

I wondered exactly what they meant by that. It would be nice to know what they thought they were going to do to stop us, because then we could counter them.

I had a project I needed to finish that I needed the Academy computers for, so after my classes I went to the computer lab. There was only one other student in there by then. He was two terms below me, but I knew him from one of my classes. His was a processor I normally stayed out of, because I couldn't help feeling just a little on edge when I was listening in on his thoughts. I was pretty sure he had some sort of nervous disorder. He also had one of those hyper-speed processors that made me feel vaguely dizzy.

I was almost done with my homework when he started muttering to himself.

"…groundbridge but….need sensors there to determine if it…have to ask… _ Primus frag it! _ "

I glanced up from my computer console.

He looked at me, then turned away again.

I cautiously expanded my range to include him.

… _ tell what he's thinking, he doesn't even have a face. I'm alone in the same room with him. What if he's a member of the rebellion? I could be murdered, oh Primus, I'm too young to go to the scrapyard, I'm going to die, he's going to kill me… _

I turned back to my computer console and pretended to ignore him.

… _ turned away. Is he still watching me, though? Who knows where that thing's optics are. He's another student, though, isn't he? What does he want here? Slag, that was close. He might still be watching me, but you know I think I've seen him in one of my classes. I'll have to figure out who he is, just in case he's targeting me for some reason. In any case… the rebellion. I need to find the rebellion. _

He looked back at what he was doing, and I hesitated for a moment. He noticed, so I went back to typing. I wasn't paying attention to my project, though.

He was looking for us. I wasn't sure if the school had put him up to it or if he was doing it on his own, but he was  _ looking  _ for us, and I had a feeling that he would find us eventually. He didn't seem like he wanted to help us either. In fact, he was probably going to turn us in.

He kept glancing at me, worrying. After a few breems, he decided to come back later, and shut down his console. He walked away, shooting a couple of frightened glances over his shoulder at me as he went.

I finished my project. We'd have to deal with him somehow, but I didn't have time at the moment. I needed to get to Perceptor's house, because we were having a meeting there.

When I arrived, there were several new mecha there, including Ironhide. He had brought a few of his friends. I wasn't happy about that, because I hadn't had an opportunity to talk to them yet, but by the time everyone arrived and Orion decided he ought to bring the meeting to order, I was convinced that none of them were out to harm us.

"Hello, everyone," Orion said.

They kept talking among themselves.

"I'd like to… can we get started?"

The discussion slowly died out, until everyone was paying attention.

"Thank you," Orion said. "Sending out Searchlight's story this orn was a success. If any of you have not looked at that, I encourage you to. We have yet to see how it is received by the public, but I hope to compile and send out a few more before announcing our intentions to go before the Council."

The new mecha looked at each other.

Orion noticed, and nodded toward them. "I would like to welcome our guests. Though you have no obligation to join us, we would be honored to accept your assistance and support. Of course—as I am sure all of you are aware—we must be discrete about our goals and I will have to ask you not to disclose any information from this meeting to an outside source."

One by one, the new mecha nodded.

Orion glanced at me, and I nodded as well, confirming that all of them were willing to keep our secrets.

"Thank you," Orion said. "Of course, we will do our best to avoid any actual lawbreaking, but as our initial goals include exposing the crimes of the Council, and forcing them to make changes, I'm certain they'd like to be rid of us."

One of the newcomers crossed his arms. "You're all just a bunch of students and a professor, led by a junior librarian at the archives," he said. "I'm not sure the Council would even be worried. I mean, I expected this to be a lot bigger than it is."  _ I'd never have thought this was all there was behind those messages. _

Orion nodded. "I understand your concern. Our numbers are few, and perhaps we won't be able to make a difference. But we _ are  _ going to try. One point I would like to make, though… I am not the leader."

Silence fell for a moment. Then Ratchet, who had been quietly doing homework in the corner looked over and snorted. "What do you mean?" he said.

"I, as you have said, am merely a data clerk. I am no leader."

"This was your idea," Perceptor said. "You have been the force behind this. But it is true that we've never made it official. I propose we do that. I nominate Orion Pax as the leader of this organization."

"Seconded," Ratchet scoffed. "As if we even need to do this."

Orion looked at me and I nodded.  _ I  _ certainly couldn't lead anything. I wasn't surprised that Orion honestly didn't know he was in charge.

"I don't know if we really have a say in this," one of the new mechs said. "Not having officially joined yet."

"Of course you have a say," Orion said.

"Well, then I say you're the leader," Ironhide said. "I don't see why you think you shouldn't be."

The others nodded as well.

"Very well," Orion said. "I will fill that role until someone more suitable can be found for it. I have no experience with leadership or desire for it."

"You're doing very well so far," Perceptor said.

Orion frowned, but didn't say anything.

"Well, Orion," one of the newcomers said. "I don't know exactly what you intend to do, but I'd be honored to be a part of it." He was an old friend of Orion's who Ironhide had happened to know too. "For just a couple of students and a librarian," he glanced at the mech who had brought that up, "You've managed to get a lot done already. Mecha are already paying attention to what you're saying. I'd be happy to help in any way I can."

"I can't thank you enough, Roller," Orion said.

"Don't bother," the mech shook his helm. "I mean it."

Another one of the mechs Ironhide had brought nodded. He'd been thinking along the same lines. The other two newcomers still probably needed time to think about it.

Orion talked about our goals, and the steps we planned to take toward accomplishing them. Accord and the new mecha had a lot of ideas and questions, and so the meeting went on for almost a joor and a half.

By the end, Orion had made a good enough impression that only Ironhide and one of the mechs he'd brought weren't completely on board. Ironhide insisted that he couldn't join, but that he'd be willing to hang out and lend a hand once in a while, and the other mech just needed time to think about it.

They left and it was just Perceptor, Orion, Ratchet, and I.

I figured it would be a good time to tell him about what had happened earlier in the orn. "Orion?"

"Yes, Soundwave?" He sat down at Perceptor's table with a sigh.  _ I hope that went well… I feel like it did, but I'm not certain. _

"There's a student at the Academy trying to find us."

Perceptor frowned and sat across from Orion. "A student?"  _ Looking for us to join us, or to turn us in? _

"He plans to report us." I said.

"Is the school having him look for us?" Perceptor said.  _ I wouldn't expect them to ask students to do that… _

I shook my helm, then shrugged. Probably not.

"Do you think he will be able to find us?" Orion asked.

"Eventually," I said. He already suspected that we had a groundbridge, and he had been looking for ways to trace back the messages we'd sent out.

Perceptor frowned. "That is… unfortunate. Are you certain he will find us?"

I nodded again.

"Do you think we could talk to him?" Orion said.

I shook my helm. That would probably go badly.

"Most mecha are good mecha," Orion said. "If we can convince him that we're trying to do what's right…"

I took in a deep vent, trying to think of the right words to describe that student. "He doesn't… like the Council. Bu-ut he thi-i-inks we're even worse."

Orion looked down at the table, then back up at me again. "I want to talk to him. If he's going to find us eventually, then perhaps it's best if we approach him first. Then perhaps I can convince him that we are not a threat, and mean no harm to anyone."

I shrugged. If he  _ really  _ wanted to, I wouldn't argue.

"But we  _ are  _ trying to take down the Council, aren't we?" Ratchet said.

"Not to remove them completely," Orion said. "This will not be a violent revolution, and if all goes well then no one will get hurt. We will fight corrupt laws, and push for reform."

"Hmph," Ratchet said.  _ See how long  _ that  _ lasts. _

"You don't think that's the right course?" Orion said.

"Oh, I'm sure it is," Ratchet scrolled through the essay he'd been writing for one of his classes. "I just don't know how many mecha will agree with you. Some of them will want energon for what the Council took from them."

Orion shook his helm. "Then we'll convince them to forbear. We'll find mecha who want peaceful revolution."  _ Soundwave can help with that. He knows who can be trusted, who wants reform and who just wants revenge. I wonder if that's right, though. Relying on a telepath to trust mecha…  _ He looked at me.  _ If I ever ask you to do anything you aren't comfortable with, please let me know. _

I nodded.

"Well," Perceptor said. "It has been a long orn. Orion, Ratchet…"

"Right," Ratchet said, putting his datapad back into subspace. "We'll see you next orn."

They left, and I went to my room to try and get some homework done before it got too late.

  
  



	64. Troubleshooting

Two orns later, the suspicious student was getting close enough to finding us that we couldn't wait any longer.

Orion had work until a certain time, so I waited in the computer lab, keeping watch. The student was there, working diligently on his homework at first. But when he'd finished and the computer lab had emptied, he started looking for the rebellion. He had determined, after some investigation and calculations, that our groundbridge was probably in Iacon, somewhere near the Academy. That had terrified him, and pushed him to look even harder.

I wasn't really sure what he was so worried about. It wasn't as if our messages had been threatening, or dangerous. But apparently just the fact that some organization could bypass the normal rules didn't sit well with him. I wasn't too hopeful about Orion being able to placate him, but I figured if that didn't work, we could blackmail him or something.

Finally, half a joor late, and when the nervous student and I were the only two left in the computer lab, Orion finally showed up.

I stood when he entered, and we walked over to the student, who noticed us coming and froze. Then, before we reached him, he shut down everything he'd been doing on his computer. He wanted to get up and leave, but we were in between him and the door.

So, instead, he turned his chair around to look at us.

"What do you want?" He demanded shakily.

Orion was surprised. He hadn't expected the student to be  _ scared. _

"What do you want?" the student asked again. "You," He pointed a shaking finger at me. "Have been watching me, haven't you?"

"We only want to talk to you," Orion said.

"Talk about what?" he said. "Who are you?"

"There's no reason to be frightened," Orion said, feeling somewhat perplexed. "What do you  _ think _ we want from you?"

"I don't know," the student said. "You can never really know, can you, who's watching you?"  _ Like him…  _ He glanced at me.  _ I get the feeling he can see better with that screen than with optics. _

Orion felt terrible.  _ He really seems afraid. I'll have to be open and explain everything so he understands that we aren't a threat. _

No. No, Orion…

"My designation is Orion Pax," Orion said. "Soundwave happened to notice that you were looking for information about the rebel group that keeps hacking the city's communications network."

The student looked at me again, terrified. But Orion brought his attention back with his next statement.

"I am the current leader of that organization."

The student froze again.  _ No. Primus, no, they're going to try to silence me somehow, aren't they? _

Orion stared at him for a moment. "Please… don't be frightened. Under no circumstances would I harm you in any way. I merely wanted to offer you a chance to learn more about us, as you seemed to be looking for us. I will endeavor to answer any questions you have."

The student was shocked. "What?"

"I am willing to answer some of your questions."

"Really?" He was suspicious again. "And how would I know you're telling the truth?"

"I suppose there is no way to be certain," Orion looked down. "All I can do is give you my word."

The student was more surprised than scared now. "Okay," he said as he integrated that information, and his anxiety morphed into a sort of shrewd, calculating disbelief that worried me even more. "Where is your base of operations?"  _ He won't answer this one truthfully, unless he's an idiot. _

Orion considered for a moment. "If it was only my own life and safety in question, I might provide you with that information. But I will not play with the safety of my friends, or betray their trust by telling you where they can be found. Not unless you give me  _ your  _ word that you will not pass the information on to those who would harm them."

The student was surprised again. "Who… who  _ are  _ you?"

"I am merely a data clerk in the Hall of Records," Orion said.

_ I'll have to verify that.  _ The student thought.  _ See if he's really telling the truth. I hope he realizes I could get him arrested.  _ "Why are you telling me this? Don't you know I could turn you in?"

I couldn't let that happen. 

"Yes," Orion said.

"And then what would happen to your rebellion?"

"I am unsure," Orion said, "But they would continue to work toward our eventual goal."

"Which is?" the student narrowed his optics.

"The reformation of the High Council," Orion said. "A returning to the principles of earlier times, when our government defended its mecha instead of frightening the populace into submission. That is all we desire."

"Who would you put at the head of the Council?"

"I see no reason why Lord Halogen could no longer function as the Council's leader, so long as he was willing to make the changes necessary."

The student snorted. "Well good luck with that," he said. "The Council's never going to listen to a bunch of revolutionaries."

"We intend to petition for the support of all the mecha in this city," Orion said, "Perhaps even mecha in other city-states. If enough voices cry out for change, even the most corrupt of Councils cannot ignore them…for fear of eventual retaliation."

"So you  _ do  _ want to overthrow them."

"No," Orion said calmly. "I will never  _ want  _ to overthrow anyone."

The student narrowed his optics, but something in Orion's tone was difficult to question. Orion gave off a sort of undeniable honesty and there was no way to doubt his words or intentions.

The student looked down, annoyed more than anything now. "Fine," he said.

"Fine?" Orion asked.

"Fine, I won't turn you in," the student said. "But only because I don't trust the government either. Or this room. Do you realize that we could have been heard in here? I'm going to have to check and make sure there are no cameras or listening devices…" He looked around the computer lab. "Sometimes consoles have their cameras active even when they're turned off. I'll have to check all of them now. Couldn't you have approached me in a more secure place?"

Orion and I looked at each other.

"I apologize," Orion said. "I didn't mean to…"

"Just…" the student put his hands to his helm. "Just don't. I'll deal with it. Now go away and leave me alone. I won't tell anyone so long as you never bother me again."

Orion looked at me again.  _ Is he telling the truth? _

I nodded. Orion had convinced him.

"Thank you," Orion said. "I cannot thank you enough."

"Just leave me out of it in the future," the student said as he logged back into the console. "I'm not interested in helping you."

Orion nodded and turned to leave. I followed him.

_ I might… I  _ could _ mess up the Academy's efforts to block them, though. And maybe I should look at those messages they sent. Did I delete them? Pit, I think I did. Oh, well, I should be able to find them somewhere… _

"I think that went all right," Orion said. "Don't you?"

I nodded. He was still a little worried, because the student hadn't seemed very happy with us. He felt like he could have tried to be less threatening somehow.

Typical Orion.

* * *

We decided to spotlight a senator next. Not Shockwave, because if anyone trying to find us knew how to connect dots, they'd realize that Searchlight and Shockwave had had a lot of friends in common. Instead we wrote about a different senator. A mech who had disappeared about half a vorn before Shockwave had. We had to do a lot of digging to get the information we needed, and in some ways, it was more dangerous. Perceptor was uneasy about it. But we hadn't followed the trail too far, just gathered information about what he had been working on prior to his disappearance and made speculations as to why the Council had gotten rid of him.

Ironhide kept bringing in new mecha. Orion and I would often go talk to them first, but Ironhide turned out to be a reliable judge about who would be interested and trustworthy. Perceptor's house started to get more crowded as more and more mecha joined and showed up regularly. The room we had designated as our base of operations filled up with mecha researching, decrypting, and planning. We had to stay on top of things, because the government was catching up. They had blocked us from the communications network twice now, and the second time it had taken me three orns to get us back into the system again.

Keeping us in the network was my job. A lot of the other mecha were working on putting information together and thinking of creative ways to distribute it, or ways to locate those who would be interested in hearing. Many were doing what they could to research their way through the list of mecha we'd been given. That involved hunting down friends and family members and asking them about what had happened. That was a little dangerous too, but we figured those mecha who had sent in the designations of their friends would be more likely to talk to us without trying to turn us in.

Ironhide still insisted he wasn't an official member of our group, but he was there more often than anyone else. He would stop by nearly every orn and sit in the corner to chat with whoever didn't look particularly busy. He also participated in planning meetings, putting forth his ideas.

As our group increased in numbers and notoriety, the location of our base was eventually guessed by a few friends of the mecha involved, and we had to tighten security. Sometimes mecha would show up at the front doors wanting to join, or wanting to see if we were really here so they could turn us in.

Perceptor and I both had classes to worry about, and no one was there  _ all  _ orn besides my symbionts, who we did not trust to open the door. But when we were both there, I would determine whether the mecha outside were trustworthy, and Perceptor would either go let them in, or open the door and give them our cover story, which was that there was a student doing a research project and Perceptor had offered his house as a place for the volunteer test subjects to meet.

One orn, we had just finished a meeting. Orion was by the side of the room, talking to a few of the mecha in charge of research, and Ironhide was chatting with one of his friends, still at the main table. I was sitting at a computer console, entering a summary of the meeting and the decisions we’d made during it. There was an entry request at the door. We'd installed an alarm system that went off every time someone requested entry. It let all the computers know, and also lit up a blinking red light over the doorway of the meeting room. Perceptor, who had been talking to Orion, excused himself to check the small monitor station in the corner, while I expanded my range to find out who it was.

Three femmes stood outside. At first I thought they were hostile, and I would have told Perceptor to send them away with our cover story, but then I realized they weren't here to try and turn us in.

Perceptor looked at me.  _ Soundwave? Should I give them our cover story? _

I honestly didn't believe it would do us any good if he lied to them. I shook my helm.

_ So they're interested in joining? _

I shook my helm again.

Perceptor frowned at me.  _ Very well… should I go speak to them? _

I nodded. This was going to be interesting.

Perceptor, feeling slightly confused, walked out of the room. I tracked his progress as he made his way to the front door and opened it.

"Hello," he said. "I'm sorry for the wait. What can I do for you?"

"Good orn," the dark blue femme in front said. "I'm really sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you happen to have a mech designated Ironhide here?"  _ Because I need to rip his slagging spark out. _

_ I…really hope this is the right house.  _ One of the other two—a green femme—thought.

"Yes," Perceptor said. "He's here. Would you like me to go get him for you…?"  _ She doesn't look very pleased. It might be better if I warned him about this before… _

"No, that's all right, I'd rather just go talk to him."  _ So he can't sneak out the back or something stupid like that. _

"We don't want to impose," the third femme stepped forward and put a hand on her friend's shoulder. The blue femme shot her an annoyed glare as she continued. "We can wait out here if you're more comfortable with that."

"I…suppose it's all right," Perceptor said, taking a step back. "You may come in. Follow me."

The three of them followed Perceptor into his house, and up the stairs to the second floor.

_ Soundwave,  _ Perceptor thought,  _ If you don't want me to bring them into the meeting room, let me know some way before I get there. _

It would be fine. They weren't a threat.

Not to us at least.

Perceptor led them into the main meeting room. Ironhide was facing away from the door, and so didn't see the blue femme approaching. The other mech he was talking to did, and froze.  _ Oh, Primus. _

"…so, if he was to…"

"Um… 'Hide, mech…"

"Yeah?"

"Uh…" he pointed.

Ironhide turned around. The blue femme crossed her arms and scowled at him.

"Oh, uh…" Ironhide jumped out of his chair, nearly knocking it over. "Chromia..."

Her scowl deepened.

He didn't bother to ask her what she was doing here. "Look, I'm just hanging out…"

"With the fragging resistance?" Chromia said. The room quieted, and everyone's attention was suddenly on the confrontation.

Orion started to get up to make an attempt at diffusing the situation, but one of the mecha he was talking to—a friend of Ironhide's—grabbed his arm and pulled him down again.

"Don't want to get involved in that," he muttered. "Trust me, Orion."

"Chromia…"

"Don't take that tone with me.  _ What are you doing here!? _ "

"I said I'm just hanging out with my friends," Ironhide stood straighter.

"Don't give me that! This isn't a game! If one of your superiors finds out you could end up in prison or  _ offline! _ Is  _ that _ what you want!"

Ironhide made as if to say something, but Chromia cut him off.

" _ Don't say one fragging word! _ "

"Chromia, can we…"  _ Everyone's staring—this is kind of embarrassing. _

"You're not taking this seriously!"

"Calm down..."

"No!" Chromia said. "You're putting  _ everything you have  _ at risk for some stupid fragging rebellion group and  _ I will not let you do that! _ Let's go!" She pointed at the door.

Ironhide frowned.

"If I have to drag you out of this place like a disobedient sparkling, I will!"

He shook his helm. "Primus, femme you don't have to make such a fragging scene about it."

"Now!"

"Okay, okay," Ironhide said, crossing the room to the door. He turned around to face the rest of us for a moment as she grabbed his arm. "Sorry about this," he said.

"Come on," Chromia growled, dragging him into the hallway.

We could hear their conversation continue as they walked away.

"You know, a lot of these mechs were my friends  _ before  _ they joined this…"

"You've been  _ getting your friends into this trouble?"  _ Chromia hissed. "Are you  _ serious?  _ Are you  _ really  _ that stupid?"

The green femme ducked out after them, but the pink femme was still lingering by the doorway… staring at Orion.

The noise in the hall died out for a moment as the femmes realized they were missing one.

"Hey, Elita!" Chromia shouted. "You coming?"

Elita hesitated, vents heating up a little as she realized that half the mecha in the room were looking at her. Then she turned and ducked out the door just as Orion looked in her direction.

_ I'll have to ask Ironhide about that mech,  _ she thought,  _ I swear I've seen him before somewhere. Better wait until Chromia's cooled down a little, though. _

"So, uh…" someone said. "What was that about?"

"Ironhide's femme," the mech at the table said with a quiet smirk. "Sometimes I don't know what he sees in her."

The mech talking to Orion snorted. "I think he likes the challenge. They're perfect for each other, whenever they're not at each other's throats."

I wasn't sure whether we'd see Ironhide again. Chromia seemed pretty certain he was going to stay away from us and our cause in the future. But Ironhide's friends seemed to think he'd be back.

* * *

Just four orns later, I stopped by Perceptor's house in the middle of the orn, between two of my classes, to check on something, and found Ironhide there, chatting with Roller.

"…so then Chromia stormed off… hey, Soundwave."

I nodded in acknowledgement of his greeting and went to stand at the nearest computer terminal while he continued his story.

"..so Chromia storms off, and Moonracer goes after her, to calm her down. Not really sure how she expected to do that."

"You shouldn't have gone back so soon," the other mech said. "She probably needed more time to cool off."

"Nah," Ironhide said. "If I wait too long, she's even angrier. Better to just be there when she's ready to stop hating me, you know? In any case, I'm not to the good part yet. Chromia and Moonracer are gone, and it's just me and Elita. And we kind of sat there for a few moments, and you know, then she asked me why I was involved with Autobot, and I talked about it, but I could tell that wasn't what was really on her processor, you know?"

"Okay," Roller said.

"But I didn't want to talk too long in case, say, Chromia to come back and heard me talking to her sister about you mecha, so I told her that, and she was quiet for a few astroseconds, and then she was like 'Hey, Ironhide, who was that red and blue mech by the side, talking to Turnout?"

Roller blinked. "Uh… Orion?"

"Yeah," Ironhide said. "I described him a little more, and she said yeah, he was the one she was talking about."

"Wait… was she asking about him out of curiosity, or… what?"

"Well, I asked her if she wanted me to introduce her to him and she said yes pretty quickly."

"Primus, what have you done?" the other mech said.

"Well, just now, right as she got off of her shift, I met with her, and took her over to the Hall of Records to talk to him."

"Chromia's going to literally tear you to pieces."

Ironhide waved it off with a snort. "Nah. Besides, it's not like I forced Ellie to do anything. She  _ asked.  _ And in any case, if I get Elita on my side, then maybe Chromia will let me join."

Roller tilted his helm to the side. "Well, maybe."

"And who knows," Ironhide said with a grin. "I kinda get the feeling Elita and Orion would be pretty good for each other."

Roller shook his helm. "Mech if she finds out you're trying to set Ellie up with the leader of the resistance, Chromia's going to murder you _ and  _ Orion."

"Orion'll be okay. Elita'll fend for him. Have you ever seen Elita angry?"

"No," Roller said. "Is that possible?"

"Oh, it's possible, all right," Ironhide said. "I saw her and Chromia get into an argument once, and it was not pretty. She can hold her own."

From his memories, I believed him.

He left before I finished what I was doing, and took Roller with him, and then I was alone for a few breems, before I needed to go back to class.

* * *

Things slowed down for a while after that. Ironhide was gone more often, and even Orion didn't show up as much, but I found out that was only because he had started spending time with Elita. I wasn't really sure what to think about that. It seemed Ironhide had been right about that working out for them, but we needed Orion to be in charge. He didn't have time to get distracted by some random femme.

On the other hand, it was okay that things were a little slower now, because I was getting close to the end of my final term in the Academy and I  _ did  _ want to graduate. Ratchet still had a few terms, because the medical program took three vorns instead of two like mine, or one like the rushed political science degree Shockwave had gotten. But I was almost done.

We still sent out little presentations about mecha who the government had made disappear, but our public following was getting bored. We needed something new, for certain.

That wasn't my job, though. I was not good at coming up with ideas. I could troubleshoot computers, and hack and read minds. Those were my only talents, so I let everyone else worry about the ideas, and just focused on getting my degree, while the nagging feeling that I ought to be doing more for Autobot pressed in at me from all sides.

Then one orn, I was sitting in my second to last class. I had stayed up late the off-cycle before, trying to work out a bug in some code I had needed to turn in, so I was a little tired.

I got a message on my datapad about halfway through the class, and almost saved it to look at later. I didn't recognize the sender.

But after a few astroseconds, I figured it might be important. I opened it, leaning down over it, so the teacher couldn't see it.

I froze.

[They're on to you, telepath. Leave now, or they'll have arrested you by the end of class. Don't hide in Perceptor's house—they know to look for you there.]

I closed the message and turned my screen off for a moment. Why?  _ Why  _ did this sort of thing keep happening?

Well, I had kind of asked for it, joining a rebellion and everything.

Primus, I had thought once Searchlight was gone that my life wasn't going to be so exciting anymore.

I wondered if he would laugh at me or be proud of me, were he here to watch. I vented an almost-silent sigh and stood from my chair. The teacher saw me leave and was slightly offended that I would walk out in the middle of one of his favorite lectures. 

Despite what the note had said, I flew straight to Perceptor's house. If they were going to look for me there, they would probably search the place and I couldn't let them find all the computers in the room on the second story, or the groundbridge in the basement.

Also, I needed my symbionts. There was no way I was leaving without them.

Perceptor wasn't home, but there were a couple of femmes up in the meeting room looking at a computer console together. The professor had taken to inviting mecha from Autobot to come in through the back entrance to work while he was in class. It helped make his house slightly less suspicious.

The two didn't look up until I was standing right behind them.

Then one of them saw my reflection in the screen and jumped out of her chair, letting out a high-pitched squeak. The other one jumped as well, but wasn't quite as terrified.

"Oh, Primus," the first one said shakily. "You scared me."

I shrugged. "We need to hide everything," I said, and went to the wall to open up the secret passage there. "Can you…?"

"Sure," the less-jumpy femme said. "What's going on?"

I shrugged. "The place might get searched this orn. Just hide everything and go out whatever way you came in."

"Okay."

The passage in the wall here had a sort of storage space in one direction, and some stairs that led down to the basement in the other. We'd made sure it was big enough to store everything in the meeting room, and we'd set up the room so it was easy to get all of the computer consoles and other sensitive material out, just leaving the table and chairs.

I left them to their work, expanding my range as I walked away so I could monitor their progress. They cleared out that room while I went down to make sure the basement was secure. The groundbridge wasn't the only illegal thing in the basement, but it was the most conspicuous. If I put a tarp over it and hid it behind some other stacks of things, it would at least look as if no one had used it in the recent past.

I hurried to do that, then went to get Ravage and the others. They looked up when I came in. The twins had been scuffling over a scratched datapad, and as soon as I came in, they started shouting at me about who had started the fight, and who deserved a turn with the datapad.

I shook my helm. "Not right now," I told them. "We need to leave." I picked them up.

"What do you mean?" Ravage asked sleepily from the desk.

"Get on," I said. "We're not safe here."

Laserbeak flew down and clung to my back while I picked up the twins. Then Ravage jumped up onto my shoulders and I picked up everything I owned—which wasn't much—and subspaced it. I knew they'd probably take anything I left behind.

The two femmes left the back way, but just in case they had Perceptor's house under surveillance, I went out the front door, the way I had come. That way they'd know I wasn't there. I walked toward the groundbridge station, ignoring my symbionts' questions. But I didn't ever get to the station. Instead, I circled around and went to the secret back entrance of Perceptor's house, that led from a little alley across the street straight to the basement. We didn't go back into the house, though. That would be too risky. I gave my symbionts strict instructions to stay in the tunnel, and not make too much noise, then sat down and got out a datapad. I wasn't getting a particularly strong connection on the frequencies we used to communicate in Autobot, but I'd probably be able to get a message through. I warned everyone to stay away from Perceptor's house this orn, and until further notice, then sent a quick message to Perceptor explaining the situation, and assuring him that I was all right.

Then I put the datapad back into subspace and tried to figure out how the government had figured it out. Where had I slipped up? I pulled up the message I had been sent. It was probably from Alpha Trion, but there was no way to be sure. Maybe it had been a trick, and I'd fallen for it.

I tried to send a response, but it didn't go through, no matter what frequency I put it on.

I got a message from Perceptor thanking me for the information.

They searched Perceptor's house. I was close enough—and had expanded my range enough—that I could listen to it. Perceptor explained that he had no idea where I might have gone, and assured them that if I showed up, he would let them know. They looked all over my room, and made a brief search of the house, but they weren't really looking. After all, they'd seen me come and then leave again on the camera they'd set up across the street.

They had suspected Perceptor's house, and part of this was an excuse to search it, but they weren't able to find anything.

* * *

I sneaked back into Perceptor's house later in the orn, and helped him set up the meeting room again. When we were done with that, he sat down at the table.

_ I shouldn't be surprised that this happened…I'm not surprised actually. What do we do now? _

I sat down across from him. "I'll leave."

"No," Perceptor said. "Where would you go? Besides, we need you."

"But…" 

"You'll just have to stay inside…the isolation might wear a little, but it's better than being a lab experiment again, or worse…"

I shrugged.

"Where would you go?" Perceptor asked again.

I didn't answer. I didn't really  _ have  _ an answer. I wasn't about to put Searchlight's creators and Blaster in danger, so I couldn't stay with them. And I sincerely doubted that Crescent would want me to stay with her.

Perceptor shook his helm. "Don't be ridiculous then."  _ He was about to graduate… Just a few more quartexes. _

I shook my helm. It was all right. This meant a whole lot of wasted work. Two vorns of learning and no diploma. But I wasn't really sure if I wanted a respectable career anyway.

I had been planning to visit Keepsake, Cam, and Blaster at the end of the decaorn. That would have to be put on hold now. Things were going well there. They'd gone down to Simfur and gotten a guardian bond. They had gotten a few symbionts for Blaster, too.

"Here," Perceptor said. "Perhaps if you come up with some sort of story, you can request that your teachers send you the classwork and homework assignments, and you can finish from here. You could say that your creators are sick or that you had some sort of accident, and can't come to school, but you'd still like to graduate."

Well, I couldn't tell them my creators were sick, because it would only take a little digging to find out that they'd died when I was a sparkling. But I  _ could  _ tell them Crescent was sick. None of them knew how she and I really didn't get along. And if the teachers told the government, and they sent mecha to find me at Crescent's house, then Crescent could probably handle it. I could just imagine how annoyed she'd be.

I went to my room and typed up a message to my teachers, then sent it. Then I worked on my homework. It was going to be harder to keep up if I couldn't go to lectures, but I would manage.

  
  



	65. Changing the Game

Because enforcement had searched Perceptor's house, Orion decided it would be best if we took a break from all Autobot activity for a decaorn. I told my teachers that Crescent was sick and I needed to be in Kalis to take care of her. They replied with sympathy and well-wishes, and gave me permission to turn in all of my assignments remotely. 

I found, for the first time in what seemed like forever, that I had some spare time. I spent it making a little video game for the twins to play when they were bored, and messing with the groundbridge controls. Because it wasn't a standard model, it had some features that others didn't, and it was lacking in some that the standard ones had.

By the time the decaorn was over, I was more than ready to get back to work on what Orion wanted us doing.

We had a big meeting to start off this new leg of our journey. So many mecha came that we filled the room and were spilling out into the hall. It was important to hear all of them, so I didn't shrink my range, even though their stifling closeness made me want to curl up and hide somewhere.

We were moving on from just sending out little presentations about what the Council was doing wrong. Anti-government propaganda wasn't going to do much in the long run. Now we needed some way to get everyone to rally behind us and help us petition the Council for an audience.

In reality, getting an audience with the Council wouldn’t be that hard. If Alpha Trion pushed hard enough, he could get us what we wanted. But we didn’t just want to appear before them, we needed power first. There was no way they’d listen to Orion if he didn't have thousands of voices backing him up.

We needed those voices.

And if we wanted their voices, we were going to have to convince them that risking their lives standing up with us was worth it.

Only one mech of all of us had a prayer at recruiting enough of the public, and he still denied that he had what it took to lead us.

A self-conscious, uncertain leader was never going to get us anywhere, and Orion knew it, which only fed his uncertainty. He had an idea, but was hesitant to bring it up with everyone there. He was almost positive it would get shot down, and he wanted to talk to the core members of the group about it first, just to get our opinions on the matter.

By the time the meeting was over, and nearly everyone had left, I had a pounding processor ache. I still wasn't sure how I felt about Orion's big idea either, and didn't really feel the desire to talk about it, but I knew he wanted me to stick around.

Orion watched as mecha left, stopping a few of the core members on their way out and asking them to stay a little longer. Ratchet had a class he needed to get to, but he hadn't even argued, which surprised me, and made me a little angry too. There weren't very many mecha Ratchet would miss class for. I was mostly over the fact that he'd replaced Searchlight with this naïve librarian, but sometimes it still bothered me.

"Everyone?" Orion said quietly, once there were only a few of us left in the meeting room.

Perceptor and Ratchet looked up from what they were doing. I moved away from my position at the computer console and went to sit down on one side of Orion, already prepared for his proposition.

The others followed my lead and sat down at the table, recognizing something in Orion's voice, or my deliberate motion that meant the meeting wasn't really over.

"What is it?" Perceptor asked.

"There is one issue we did not cover in that meeting," Orion said. "That is the issue of leadership."

"Leadership, Orion?" Perceptor said.  _ Not another one of these foolish conversations where he insists he isn't right to lead us. Of course he is. _

Perceptor was so certain of that.

I wasn't.

"Yes," Orion said. "Even if I, as all of you claim, have the capacity to lead you, I do not have the experience, or the confidence to do so. I fear that I could never raise a following of the size that we need."

"We have to make do with our resources," Accord said. "Worrying about it isn't going to change anything."

"But are we really making use of all of our resources?" Orion said. "Am I really the best mech to lead us, or might there be anyone else at our disposal who could do a better job."

"None of us is going to take your place, Orion," Roller said.

Perceptor narrowed his optics. "Do you have someone in mind, or are you just speculating."

Orion was afraid to speak his processor.

So for once, I played the role that some of my friends occasionally played for me, and spoke on his behalf.

"Megatronus," I said.

For a moment everyone was just shocked, but then their emotions diversified.

"Are you  _ mad _ ?" Ratchet demanded.

"Megatronus," repeated one of the others. "The gladiator? The one you've been writing letters back and forth with?"

"Yes," Orion said.

He didn't realize he'd also just admitted to being crazy.

"That seems ill-advised," Perceptor said. "His profession doesn't lend itself well to peaceful revolution. Did he ask for that in his letters?"

"No, he did not," Orion said. "And Megatronus only wants what we do. He wants the mecha in charge to take responsibility for caring for their citizens. He appeals again and again to the Councils in Kaon  _ and _ Iacon to investigate the mines and the gladiator rings. He doesn't want violence any more than we do."

"He is a gladiator," Perceptor said. "Violence is a part of his life."

"Maybe that's why he doesn't want it," Orion said. "Maybe that's why he's trying to break the system. Please consider this possibility and do not dismiss it simply because it is not conventional."

There was silence for a few astroseconds, while everyone thought about it.

"I've listened to Megatronus," Dion said. "I think Orion might be right on this one. You can't mistrust him  _ just  _ because he's a gladiator, Perceptor. That kind of prejudice is what we're fighting. My question is would he be willing to leave his following in Kaon and come here and help us? We're not that significant, if you actually look at it."

"He might be able to make us significant," Accord said. "Provided he's willing, and trustworthy."

"Are you really willing to take that chance, Orion?" Perceptor asked.

"I still just think you're insane," Ratchet said. "You don't need someone else to be the leader.  _ You're  _ the leader, Orion. Just stop doubting yourself and we'll all be fine."

Orion looked down.

"It's no-o-ot that easy," I said. Frag that stutter. Orion and Perceptor and Ratchet all started mentally demanding to know if I was all right, and I ignored them all. I wished I could snap at them to pay attention to what we were talking about, not wonder whether sitting here in a room tightly packed with mecha for most of a joor had been painful for me. They shouldn't have needed to ask that question. They all knew the answer.

"In any case," Dion said. "If we had Megatronus, we'd get some real credibility. Also, we  _ could  _ bring him here. We have a groundbridge, and we have the coordinates of his room."

"You don't think that's dangerous at all?" Perceptor asked. "Surely, even if he is trustworthy, this is too dangerous..."

"If we don't take steps, we do not progress," Orion said calmly.

Perceptor sighed. "I'm sorry," he said. "I don't want to argue with you about this. But Orion, you should not hand all of your hard work over to someone who you don't know personally, especially a dangerous revolutionary."

"If he proves to be trustworthy," Orion said, "Will you allow us to use the groundbridge to bring him here?"

Perceptor considered that for a few moments, then stood. "Yes," he said. "But I am still against it."

Orion nodded, but he was troubled. "I will take that into consideration."

"Thank you," Perceptor said.

"We need to bring this up at the next meeting," Accord said. "And get everyone's opinions on it, maybe even put it to a vote."

"Still, we don't know if he'd be willing," Dion said.

"Orion, you correspond with him, right? Write him a letter and ask him if he'd be willing. Don't send it, though, until we've had a chance to see what everyone thinks about this. That's… what I'd do at least,” Accord said.

"That sounds like a good plan," Orion said.

"I'll start asking around to see when the soonest time we can gather everyone might be." Accord said. "We might need to let everyone think about it before they make opinions on it. One thing Perceptor's right about is that this is a big leap. This is… you know, this might be the difference between whether this little rebellion ever gets off the ground."

She looked around to let that sink in. Now the question we all had to ask ourselves was this: Did we really mean it? Were we really willing to sacrifice everything for our goals? Because as soon as we rescued a slave, especially one as important as Megatronus, we would have changed the game. Our enemies would stop pulling their punches.

* * *

I left my symbionts at Perceptors house this time, when I went to visit Keepsake, Cam, and Blaster. I didn't want to call attention to myself or put them in danger, and in any case, this would have to be a short visit. I had apologized for missing our previous appointment two decaorns ago, but I wanted to go see Keepsake, Cam, and Blaster in person one more time, before informing them that I would be out of touch for the foreseeable future.

Hopefully, the government thought I was back in Kalis, like I'd told all my teachers, and wouldn't be looking for me in Iacon. Hopefully.

I went out the back way, just in case they were watching the cameras out front. We had considered using the groundbridge, but we hadn't had any good coordinates to set it to, where we could be certain no one would see it. Our groundbridge was our greatest secret weapon.

The journey to their house was uneventful. The sun dome hadn't quite blinked off by the time I knocked on their door. I hadn't let them know I was coming. I hadn't been sure I'd be able to make it, and had decided I'd rather surprise them than disappoint them. They were all there. I'd checked while I was still down the street. At the moment, my range was small because I wanted to stay out of Blaster's helm.

Keepsake came to the door and beckoned me in. As soon as the door closed behind me, she embraced me, coming close enough to me that I could hear her worry, and her questions about why I hadn't been able to come last time.

She took me to the kitchen where Blaster and Cam were waiting.

"Soundwave," Cam said. "Is everything all right?" He glanced at Blaster, who was looking up at me with worried optics. He could tell how serious things were, and Cam could probably tell from watching Blaster's expression.

"I'm all right, yes," I said. "But this may be the last time for a while that I can visit."

"What the pit have you gotten yourself into?" Cam asked quietly.

"Cam," Keepsake shot a glare at him. "Language."

"Sorry," Cam said, but didn't take his optics off of me.

"It's not tha-at much worse than what I've been 'into' my entire life," I said. Being a telepath and an escaped lab experiment would put you in danger, no matter how boring your life was otherwise.

Cam's expression softened a little and I thought maybe he understood. I could see tiredness in the way he held himself that hadn't been there before Blaster. A secret was a heavy burden, especially when lives hinged on it.

"They're looking for him again," Blaster said. "Soundwave, what happens if they catch you?"

I didn't want to answer him, but I couldn't help my deepest fears flickering through my processor. Blaster visibly stiffened.

"What?" Keepsake said.

"They'll give you back to Neurosis," Blaster whispered. "Won't they?"

"I do-on't know," I said. "Pro-o-obably. You shouldn't…" He shouldn't listen to this. He shouldn't have to worry about it. He was only a youngling after all, and he ought to be safe and happy. Keepsake and Cam could provide that for him, while I worried about difficult things like Neurosis. Above all else, I couldn't let Blaster get involved in Autobot. Keepsake and Cam had already lost their creation because of me, and I wouldn't let them lose Blaster too.

I looked at Cam again, and then Keepsake. I didn't need to read their processors to know they were worried too—probably about both of us. Even though they loved Blaster, they were afraid for him in ways they hadn't been for Searchlight. Maybe I shouldn't have asked this of them.

Oops. Blaster had heard that. Would he doubt, now, that he belonged here?

Perhaps it was better that this was the last time I came. I seemed to bring nothing but bad feelings here recently. Bad feelings like worry and fear and regret and jealousy.

I met Blaster's optics and saw what looked like pity in them.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, to everyone in the room. "I should be-e better."

"What do you mean?" Cam asked.

I addressed Blaster because he was the one I was talking to, but I did it out loud so all of them could hear. "You need to learn, Blaster, that mecha don't always mean the things they think. All of us are wrong sometimes, and we second guess ourselves, and third guess ourselves. You're going to hear a lot of unkind thoughts directed toward you, throughout your life, and I want you to always remember that all mecha think unkind thoughts about each other sometimes, even if they love each other more than anything."

Blaster nodded solemnly. He seemed so much older than when I'd last seen him, even though he was still just a youngling. Listening to the way adults thought would do that to you.

A big yellow cat slunk into the room. It startled me, because my range was so small I hadn't noticed it here.

The cat walked over to where Blaster was sitting, and sat next to his chair, looking up at me with accusing golden optics.

"Oh," Blaster said. "This is Soundwave. Soundwave, this is my cat."

"I can see," I said.

"I got one like yours," Blaster said with a bit of a smile, "You know, to protect me." He put a hand on the cat's helm. It didn't react, though, just kept staring at me.

"What's his designation?" I asked.

"Steeljaw," Blaster said with a smile.

I studied the cat, then nodded. He was just about the same size as Ravage, but he looked like a well-bred sort of symbiont which meant Ravage could probably take him in a fight.

"Yeah," Blaster said. "But Ravage used to be a street cat, so it's not fair."

I shrugged. I knew he could hear my amusement.

"So," Keepsake said. "This is the last time we're going to see you for a while, you said?"

I nodded.

She looked very worried.

"I'll probably be a-alright." I had my friends to take care of me, and Perceptor. And we weren't doing anything  _ really  _ dangerous yet. I just needed to keep my helm down and hope for good luck. "I just can't come here anymore."

"Are you telling the truth about being all right?" Keepsake asked.

"Yes," I said. "Blaster can attest to it,"

Blaster nodded. "He just doesn't want to put us in danger by coming here," he said. "And if he stays inside, he won't be in much danger either."

"Stays inside?" Cam asked.

"Inside the place he's staying," Blaster said. "With that nice scientist I told you about."

"Then aren't you putting yourself in danger coming here?"

I shrugged. "I wanted to talk to you."

Silence fell for a few astroseconds, and I wanted nothing more than to expand my range so I could hear them thinking.

"You wanted to come say goodbye," Blaster said solemnly.

"Y-yes," I said quietly. "Just in case. And I… I can only stay a few breems."

Despite this possibly being the last time we talked, we all struggled to find things to say. After several breems, I decided I'd better go. They all saw me to the door. Keepsake embraced me, and Cam shook my hand and told me to be careful. Then Blaster came up to hug me, but both of us forgot about our ranges.

I gasped and pulled mine in closer, while he danced back.

"Sorry," he said. "So sorry, I'm so sorry, Soundwave."

"What happened?" Keepsake asked.

Blaster backed away, looking horrified.

I slowly expanded my range, asking him mentally to bring his in. When I could hear his thoughts, I carefully approached him and knelt to hold out a hand to him. He took my hand, still feeling horribly sorry.

"It wasn't on purpose," I said softly, while making such an effort not to stutter that my voice started to sound flat and tinny, "I'm fine."

Part of why I didn't want him in my helm was because he would know I was lying.

"Thank you for saving me," Blaster said again. I knew he would always be thankful. He didn't need to be. If he had been in my position, he'd most certainly have done the same for me.

I got up silently, not willing to trust my voice, and walked out the door, possibly for the last time.

Then I pulled my range in and transformed. I wanted to put distance between myself and Blaster so he couldn't expand his range and find out how bad my processor ache was. I considered flying all the way home, but quickly decided against it. I landed by the mass transit station instead and got a ticket.

The transit wasn't as crowded as it had been coming out here. A lot of mecha had been getting off work in Iacon Central and heading for their homes in the suburbs. Few were going the other direction.

I was fine with that. It meant I had a whole bench to myself. I sat, curled up, with my pedes on the seat next to me, and my helm resting on my knees.

There was one reason I'd be glad not to go back to see Blaster again. As much as I cared about him, it hurt like the pit whenever we forgot about our ranges.

I almost slipped into recharge on the way back, even though it wasn't a long transit ride. When we got to the Central station, I disembarked, and started walking home, still cradling my helm in my hands. I was ready to go lie down on my berth and recharge under a pile of symbionts.

If I had had my range out farther, I would have had more warning. As it was, I was only fortunate I happened to look over my shoulder just in time to see the three mechs sprinting toward me with weapons out.

Primus.

Processor ache forgotten, I transformed and flew up as fast as I could, expanding my range as I did, even though it made the pounding in my processor worse.

My pursuers had flying alt modes as well, unfortunately.

They were more prepared this time. They weren't going to take any chances. They were going to knock me out and take me to Neurosis and keep me somewhere I could never escape. In fact, they had been told it was better to kill me than fail to bring me in.

My spark pulsed rapidly, and all of my systems came fully online as I tried to figure out what to do. They started shooting at me. Occasionally I would dip down low enough that I could hear mecha below, looking up, wondering what was going on and who the enforcers were chasing down.

I commed Perceptor.

" _ Hello? Soundwave?" _

" _ I'm being chased,"  _ I said.

" _ Oh dear… What do you want me to do?" _

" _ I don't know." _

" _ Transmit your coordinates and I'll send a bridge." _

" _ No. We have to keep the bridge a secret." _

" _ It won't be a secret if they catch you! Coordinates! Now!" _

Occasionally, a shot from behind hit me. It hurt, but my armor deflected it well enough that it didn't stop me. They were gaining on me.

" _ Are you at the groundbridge?"  _ I asked.

" _ Not yet. Three astroseconds." _

" _ Okay." _

A shot hit my wing in a sensitive place, and I lost an engine. I needed to land. I transmitted the coordinates of the top of a nearby building and angled for it.

I nearly crashed into the building, but managed to transform and skid to a stop instead. My three pursuers followed me, and transformed as well, then all leveled their weapons at me. I held still, counting silently. I still had an astrosecond or so before I could expect a bridge. I knelt in a gesture of surrender, praying to Primus that it would buy me a little time.

"Gonna come quietly?" one of my pursuers said, stepping forward.

I tilted my helm up to look at him, then laughed, relishing their surprise and the chill that went down all of their spines.

Then a groundbridge opened right behind me, and I turned and leaped through it.

The other side was Perceptor's basement, and I crashed into a pile of boxes before I could stop myself. Perceptor slammed the bridge shut and then hurried over to me.

"Are you all right?" he demanded as he helped me to my pedes.

I nodded, and he let me go, but I stumbled when I tried to walk to the doorway, and stepped in to support me again.

"I think I'm going to comm. Ratchet and bring him over here to look at you, all right? Are you hurt?"

I nodded, feeling dizzy. My leg ached from the blast to my engine, but my processor was still worse than that.

"I'm so-orry a-about the bridge," I said.

Now they knew we had one. Now they would be looking for one. Now, if they knew Perceptor had one in his basement, they would be able to tie him to Autobot.

"Don't be ridiculous," Perceptor said as he helped me climb the stairs.

And I didn't know how long they had been following me. Just from the station, or longer? I shouldn't have had my range so small. What if Keepsake, Cam, and Blaster were in danger? It was more likely that they hadn't noticed me until I'd gotten off the transit at the station and started walking back to Perceptor's house, but I wasn't sure I wanted to take that chance.

We reached the top of the stairs, and I pulled away from Perceptor and sat down against the wall. No need to worry my symbionts if I didn't have to.

I commed Cam.

" _ Hello?"  _ He replied.

" _ Hi, Cam." _

" _ Soundwave… what is it?" _

" _ I was followed at some point, but I don't think it was until after I got back to Iacon Central. Are you all right?" _

" _ We're fine. Are you okay?" _

" _ Yeah. I'm safe now. But I'm worried they might know you three are connected to me." _

" _ What do you want us to do about it?" _

" _ It's up to you,"  _ I said. _ "It might be safer if you moved, but I don't know. I just thought I'd warn you the government might be watching you." _

" _ Thank you for letting us know… be careful, Soundwave. You know you're like a creation to us." _

" _ Thanks. I will. You be careful too. Take care of Blaster." _

" _ We will. Good luck." _

" _ Same." _

We left the line open for a few moments, before I cut it off. Perceptor looked down at me. "Ratchet's coming," he said. "Why don't we go to that little room he said he wanted for an office." He offered a hand and I accepted his help in standing up, then limped over to Ratchet's office, which was still completely empty. Perceptor brought in a chair from somewhere else so I could sit down. Then we waited.

Ratchet showed up after about five breems. Perceptor went to the front door to let him in, and I listened to his worry as the two of them hurried through the house.

He slammed the door to his not-office open. "What the pit were you thinking!?"

Perceptor frowned at him.  _ If he wants to be a medic, he has to learn not to yell at his patients. _

He wasn't really angry, just worried… or he  _ was  _ really angry, but only  _ because _ he was worried.

"Are you hurt?" he said, scanning me.

"It's mo-ostly just my-y leg."

"Then why do you have a processor ache the size of a city?"

I shook my helm slightly. "Tha-at was just Blaste-e-er."

"What!"

"We accidentally go-ot in each o-other's ranges," I said.

Ratchet narrowed his optics. "How many times has that happened?"

I shrugged.

"Hmph," he said, and turned his attention to my leg. I turned away as he started prodding at it. "I think if you stayed off of your leg, your self-repair systems could probably handle this. But it's got some shrapnel in it that I ought to take out. You want me to offline your pain grid?"

I shook my helm. It wasn't  _ that  _ bad.

He gently opened my lower leg and fished out all the bits of my wing engine that had broken off. I sat still, hands clenched, trying to ignore the pain. When he was done, he closed everything up. "You shouldn't fly for at least a decaorn. And I wouldn't walk that much either."  _ But that shouldn't be a problem, since he's staying here. _

"Tha-anks," I said.

"And for Primus' sake go get some recharge. You sound terrible," Ratchet subspaced his tools and helped me stand up. He supported me down the hall and to my room. I didn't need it. My leg already felt better.

Then Ratchet left, and I limped over to my berth and lay down on it. Ravage and the others didn't even ask what was wrong. They just all piled on top of me and I pulled my range in so I could only hear them. I was still shaken—that had been too close—but having my symbionts' processors in my helm was calming enough that I eventually slipped into recharge.

  
  



	66. Testing

The next orn, we were going to have a meeting. About a quarter of a joor before it started, I climbed the stairs and went to the meeting room to get ready and check everything. Then I sat at the table, with my range pulled in tightly. My processor still hurt, and I knew it would be a lot worse by the time the meeting was over.

I expanded my range when Orion came in. I was a little surprised to see he was followed by Elita.

"Hello, Soundwave," Orion said. "Um… this is Elita. Elita, Soundwave. He's in charge of security and communications."

"He means I hack things," I said, managing not to stutter.

Orion shrugged, feeling self-conscious. He was worried that Elita might disapprove of us doing things illegally.

She didn't really mind.

"Nice to meet you," she said with an honest smile. Orion walked over to the table and pulled out a chair for her. She thanked him and they sat down next to each other.

"So," Orion handed me a datapad. "Can you send this to Megatronus if we make the decision to request his assistance?"

I nodded and took it.

 _It was harder to write than I thought._ He looked down. _I hope this is the right thing to do. Not that I don't think we can trust him, or that I think_ I _can lead us._

I shrugged.

"Oh," Orion said. "And speaking of letters, I asked Alpha Trion and he said he didn't send you that warning in class."

What? Then who _had?_ Who else knew that I was a telepath? No one I knew had admitted to sending it. Did I have an ally I didn't know about somewhere? They hadn't called me by my designation, but they seemed to know quite a bit about me and where I was staying, and what the government was doing. I couldn't think of anyone I knew who could have sent me that note. Verdict knew about me, but there was no way he would have helped me.

"So who was it?" Orion asked.

I shrugged.

"Whoever they are, they know a lot."

I nodded.

"Did you try to contact them?"

I nodded. I had made an attempt, but it hadn't gone through.

"Hmm," Orion said. "Well… at least they helped you. I wish we could find them and thank them."

I wished I could find them and make sure they weren't going to turn us in. They knew far too much about us.

I could hear Elita wondering about my screen in a thoughtful, interested sort of way. It made me more uncomfortable than it usually did. She didn't mean me any harm, but she was a little too curious. She wanted to figure me out.

Well, I decided, I would make it difficult for her. She could ask Orion, and maybe she would eventually have him wrapped around her fingers tightly enough that he would break and tell her about my abilities and my past.

But she wasn't going to hear it from me, not even if she asked.

I subspaced the datapad and we waited for everyone else to show up. They did, two or three at a time, until we had more mecha than we could fit in the room. Of course, we didn't have _everyone._ Ironhide, for one, did not show up.

Orion brought up the idea of bringing Megatronus in. There was a lot of opposition to it at first, and the discussion got a little heated in the middle, but Orion had won almost everyone over by the end. It was actually kind of amusing. He had no idea how manipulative he was. He would be calm and patient and listen to everyone's ideas before very kindly, politely shooting them down.

By the end, when they held a vote, almost no one spoke against bringing Megatronus in. So, when the meeting was over, I got Ravage and went down to the basement to groundbridge him to Kaon. The letter delivery process was getting to be routine, and that bothered me because eventually something would go wrong and Ravage would get caught.

Of course we wouldn't have to do it anymore if we brought Megatronus here.

"Ravage," I said as I set the coordinates for the groundbridge. "Do _you_ thi-ink Megatronus could lead o-our rebellion instead of Orion?"

Ravage tilted his helm, thinking about what he knew of Megatronus. He'd seen him a few times, but not up close. "I like him," he said decisively. "But I only saw him twice. So I don't know."

That was unusual. Ravage didn't normally get good first impressions of anyone. I hadn't noticed it before, but he _did_ like Megatronus. More, it almost felt like he trusted him. He didn't seem to think that was strange. I listened as he thought back on the few times he'd seen the gladiator. Megatronus was impressive, powerfully built, and moved like a predator—that was probably what made Ravage respect him.

I turned on the groundbridge and he leaped through. Then I closed it behind him and sat to wait, putting my throbbing helm in my hands. There'd been too many mecha at that meeting.

It was only a few breems before Ravage commed me.

" _Okay, I can come back."_

I turned the bridge on again, and he leaped through. "If you want, I could try talking to him sometime," he said.

I shook my helm. It was too risky.

* * *

I was working on once again hacking into the new and improved public communication hub so that we could send out another message to everyone, when Ironhide finally showed up again. He wasn't alone, though.

Orion was already at Perceptor's house, talking to two other mecha. It had been three orns since we'd sent the letter, and there was no response yet. Either it had somehow gone astray, or Megatronus needed time to think about it.

Ironhide came into the main meeting room, with three femmes following him. Green, blue and pink. Elita smiled at Orion, who returned the smile, and excused himself from the conversation he'd been having.

The green femme didn't miss the interaction and crossed her arms as Orion approached them.

"This your librarian, Ellie?"

Elita nodded slightly.

The blue femme stepped forward in between Orion and the others. "First," she said. "Before you try to charm me like you've done everyone else I know, I want to warn you about something." Her optics narrowed. "These are the mecha I care about. If you get them hurt, I'll make you wish you were never sparked, you hear?"

Orion stared, a little surprised.

"And I mean that," she said.

Orion blinked, then shocked the blue femme by nodding seriously. "If anyone was hurt because of me, I would already wish I was never sparked."

He was being entirely truthful and she could tell. Orion was too good for this world. Too naïve, too considerate, too innocent… He was probably going to get himself killed one of these orns, just like Searchlight had.

The blue femme backed up. "Good," she said, trying unsuccessfully to hold on to her anger.

"So," Ironhide said. "Orion, everymech, this is Chromia, Moonracer, and Elita."

Everyone around the room introduced themselves, and Orion explained to them what Autobot was trying to do. By the end of the discussion, they were all pretty much sold, and Ironhide was feeling very pleased with himself. Apparently, it had been Elita who had convinced the other two femmes to come and at least listen to Orion.

They talked for a while, and the femmes and Ironhide all decided to join us. Chromia insisted they all needed to think about it some more first, but I was pretty sure they were in.

It occurred to me that Elita, like Orion, was used to getting her way using reasonable persuasion. Maybe they really were meant for each other.

I couldn't help thinking about Searchlight and Breeze, who had been two very different people. But even though they hadn't had much in common, things had worked out between them. I missed them both. I hadn't seen Breeze for a long time, and Searchlight was gone.

I suddenly didn't want to listen to the conversation any more. I saved my progress, shut down my computer console, and went down to my room. I sat at my desk for a while, staring at nothing, and refusing to tell Ravage what was wrong. Sometimes I felt like I was done grieving, and other times—even after two vorns—I still couldn't believe that I would never see my best friend again.

* * *

Doing homework away from school was one thing. But taking final exams from Perceptor's house wasn't going to work. We weren't sure whether the government knew I was still trying to graduate, but I wasn't sure walking openly across campus was a good idea.

We had a limited time to figure something out. I'd asked my teachers about it, and they'd all said it would be better for me to come in, especially since these weren't just the last tests of the term, they were my final, graduating exams.

I would have to find a way to sneak into the school, but I had no idea how. Ratchet and Perceptor and I spent joors talking it over, and all we ended up with was a plan to try to get me in from beneath the Academy somehow, sneaking up through the basement. There were guards and cameras and locked doors, but that wasn't the end of the world. The problem would be getting into the testing room. I'd have to stand in a line for a while and if they spotted me on the cameras I'd be in trouble.

The government probably knew I was still doing my homework. They might be watching for me.

And even if they weren't watching for me all the time, I'd have to get lucky five or six times, because the tests were scheduled, and they weren't scheduled all for the same orn.

Perceptor and Ratchet didn't want me to risk it. They tried to tell me my life was more important than getting a degree. But I'd just done so much work… and I was pretty confident in my ability to get away with things. After all, I'd escaped from Neurosis, and then had managed to get away from a group of enforcers too.

I understood that was no reason to put myself in danger.

Time was running out when I thought to send a message to my mystery ally asking if they had any ideas. Whoever they were, I had no right to bother them, but it was my last hope. I couldn't just show up at the Academy without some sort of plan. As much as I wanted to ignore it, if Ratchet and Perceptor of all mecha thought that I shouldn't risk going to take my tests, then I should probably listen to them.

I typed up a quick message.

[Hey. Thanks for the tip last quartex. I've left the Academy for now, but I still want to graduate. Any ideas how I might be able to sneak in and take my final exams?]

I tried to send it, but once again it didn't work.

I spent almost half a joor trying to figure out _why_ and whether I could override whatever was blocking my message. I had just about given up when I received another message from the same sender.

[What do you want?]

I hesitated for a moment, then re-typed my question and sent it. I only had to wait a few breems for a reply.

[Don't worry, it won't be difficult. This school has terrible security, and they've stopped watching the Academy for you anyway. All you need to do is get into the testing hall without going through the front doors of the building. They have cameras inside, but it's a closed system and the government probably won't look at that footage. I'll send you a floor plan of the testing building. Good luck.]

I read the message a few times, trying to figure out who this might be. Someone from the Academy, maybe? I had a few casual friends in my classes… but I _knew_ that none of them suspected I was a telepath.

And then it hit me. It was probably Red Alert, that mech who'd been trying to find us and turn us in. That conversation he'd had with Orion must have made an even deeper impression than we'd hoped.

Good old Orion.

I opened up the floorplans and studied them for a while. They were extensive, and included maintenance tunnels in the ceiling and floor. I would need to somehow get into one from the outside, and come up in a place where there weren't any other mecha.

Or just when no one was looking. Being a telepath really did have its perks.

I found my route in and shut the datapad off, then went to tell Perceptor that I'd found a way to take my exams after all.

I didn't leave it at that, though. I was grateful for the help, but there were other hoops to jump through. For one, my schedule was too spread out. After a few joors of working, I managed to hack into the Academy's main computer and mess up the final exam schedules in a way that pushed all of my tests to the same orn. It would be hard to take tests all orn without stopping, and a lot of the other students in my major would be really upset, but they didn't have the government trying to kidnap them, so they shouldn't complain.

* * *

On the orn of the tests, I emptied my subspace, and disabled my comm. system, before heading down to the basement.

Perceptor was there, still feeling apprehensive about it.

"Soundwave," he said. "You do know the risks."

"Yes," I said, feeling an almost Searchlight-like thrill of excitement. Though I was pretty sure he would laugh at me for being thrilled to take final exams.

"Okay," Perceptor said. "I'm glad you care about your education so much, but…"

He programmed the coordinates into the groundbridge and fired it up. The bright vortex of multidimensional light cast shadows on the walls of the cluttered basement.

"Please be careful."

I nodded and stepped through the bridge, into a closet.

The edges of the small room were stacked with crates full of blank datapads. I expanded my range so I could hear what was going on in the hallway outside. Mecha were standing in a line, waiting to get into the testing hall. I tried the closet door and found it wasn't locked. The testing building was shielded from communications and many kinds of sensors. It helped prevent cheating.

Fortunately, it also meant they wouldn't be able to detect the groundbridge energy from the outside.

And they probably didn't have atmospheric energy surge monitors in the building.

I stood and waited while the line moved. Some mecha were going to see me coming down the hall, and they might think it was weird. But they would _really_ think it was strange if I came out of a random supply closet.

I didn't open the door until the second time no one was looking. Then I quickly stepped out of the closet and closed the door behind myself.

One femme saw me, but she just assumed that door led to some other hallway. A few looked at me as I walked to the end of the line, but none were suspicious.

That had been the most dangerous part.

I shrank my range while standing in line. I needed to be ready for the test. I was nervous enough that I felt like leaving my range large, but then I wouldn't be able to do as well.

At the front of the line, they checked my subspace and made sure my comm. system was shut down.

I entered the testing hall and found a seat near the very center. I wanted to check every few breems to make sure no one was watching me. The room filled. Some of the students around me were complaining in their processors about the exam schedule.

I should have felt guilty.

I also should have been worried.

Five joors later, I was sitting in a hallway, feeling exhausted and absolutely _finished_. I had taken five tests, and I still had one more.

One more test. I wasn't sure I could do it.

I wasn't the only one. The whole hall was filled with mecha in my major who had taken three or four tests. You didn't have to take classes in a specific order, but all of my classes were higher level ones, so there were a lot of graduating mecha there.

My range was small, so I didn't look up until the other mech was standing practically right over me.

I looked up. It was the student who I suspected had sent me that warning.

_I still think he's kind of frightening. Can you really hear what I'm thinking?_

I nodded. "Sorry," I said.

He swallowed his nervousness and held out a hand for me to shake. "Red Alert," he said.

I stood and shook his hand. We had already sort of been introduced the last time we'd met. "Soundwave."

_I want in, Soundwave. But I am not about to go up to the front door of Perceptor's house and knock. They could see me on the surveillance cameras._

I nodded. I'd send him instructions on how to find the secret entrance.

"So," he said. "Your schedule's pretty full this orn, isn't it?" _I noticed when it changed._

I shrugged. He had been watching my schedule? Or did he watch everyone's schedule?

And he thought _I_ was creepy.

He glanced over his shoulder in a worried sort of way, then looked back at me. "Well, it was nice meeting you." _Let Orion know I want to talk to him—somewhere_ secure _this time._

I nodded. "Hey," I said.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

It was his turn to shrug. "No big deal." And then he backed away and left me to my own thoughts. He would be an interesting addition to our ranks. I kind of got the feeling I was going to be forcefully ejected from my place as unofficial head of security.

The last mecha in the testing hall came out, and a line started forming for mecha going in to take the next one.

I had thought taking six final exams in one orn wouldn't be too bad.

I had been wrong.

But at least after this it would be over.


	67. Graduation

The brain-dead feeling from taking all of my exams at once lasted nearly a decaorn. But that was all right because I didn't have to take any more.

It felt kind of surreal, not to have to worry about school ever again. I supposed I ought to go on to some respectable profession.

That was, if the government hadn't been trying to find me and turn me back into a science experiment.

I sent Red Alert instructions for getting in through the secret back entrance. He showed up to talk to Orion and then demanded a tour of Perceptor's house to determine if it was safe. I showed him the meeting room, and everything I had set up in there, and then retreated quickly to my room.

I listened while he explored the house. After an initial evaluation, he went to Perceptor with a list of complaints, then recruited everyone in the meeting room to help him go around and move cameras.

I had been wise to hide in my room.

Things went pretty well for Red Alert for a while, and not so well for everyone else. Orion had left after talking to Red Alert, so he wasn't there to try to dissuade him from rearranging everything, and within half a joor, the place was a mess.

Then there was an entry request at the front door. Perceptor, who'd been sitting in the meeting room and wondering glumly whether his house was going to be in one piece by the end of the orn, checked the monitors and got up to get the door.

I sat back in my desk chair, pushing my range out a little farther, so I could hear the whole house. This was about to get interesting.

Perceptor opened the door. "Good orn, Ratchet,"

"Yes," Ratchet said. "Something like that. Is Orion here?"

"No," Perceptor said. "Would you like to come in?"

Ratchet sighed. "I was going to talk to Orion. But I need to check something about the groundbridge. Didn't you say it was acting up?"

"Yes," Perceptor said. "But I fixed it. Why don't you come in for a few breems?" _I need something to distract me from that new mech moving everything. I'll have to make sure I'm there when he goes through my lab. There are things in there I don't want anyone to touch._

"All right," Ratchet said, and came in. "Primus, I hate exams."

"When's your practical?"

"Next orn," Ratchet said, coming in and following Perceptor up toward the meeting room. "If they give me another living mecha, I'm going to help set up the exam for the next student by murdering the instructors… What in Primus' name is going on here!?"

Red Alert was going through cupboards while two mechs moved the table, lifting it and turning it upside down.

Red Alert turned around. "Who are you?"

"Who the pit are you?" Ratchet replied. "By the Allspark…"

"He's our newest," Perceptor said. "Another student. He's…" Perceptor sighed. "Helping us re-do security."

"And who are you?" Red Alert demanded again.

Ratchet narrowed his optics. "What exactly are you looking for in the cupboards?"

"If this house is under suspicion, there could be cameras or listening devices anywhere," Red Alert said. "We need to make sure—"

"You're doing what!?"

"This place is a death trap." Red Alert informed him coolly. "The least you can do is help me make it a little safer. Now, those mechs could use help with the table, and then after that, we need to go to the basement because there are _all sorts_ of dangerous things—"

"What!" Ratchet said, storming over to where Red Alert was. "You're making an enormous mess!"

It was Red Alert's turn to narrow his optics. "Is there some reason you _don't_ want this place to be as safe as possible?"

Ratchet spluttered for a few moments, and Red Alert glared at him, deciding to keep an optic on him until he could determine whether the medical student was trustworthy.

"Well what's wrong with the table?" Ratchet said, pointing at the upside down table. The other mecha had stopped working on it to watch the show.

"One of the legs was wobbling. It could collapse and injure someone."

"What!" Ratchet said. "That's a load of slag. This," he gestured around the room. "Is unnecessary. You can't just march in here and start throwing things all over the place!"

Red Alert's glare intensified. "So you're saying you don't want this place to be secure? Why exactly is that?"

"Stop changing the subject!"

"You're the one who's changing the subject!" Red Alert countered. "You're working for the government, aren't you?"

"I'm WHAT?" Ratchet said. "How DARE you suggest that…"

"Denying it's not going to make you look any less suspicious," Red Alert said.

"If anyone's untrustworthy, you are!" Ratchet picked up a cube of energon from the counter, preparing to throw it at the other mech.

Perceptor saw and decided to intervene before an even larger mess was made. He put a hand on Ratchet's shoulder.

"Don't," he said. "It's fine. Red Alert's only trying to help. Let's go up to the meeting room and talk."

"No," Ratchet said through gritted denta. "You know what? I have homework. I'm leaving." He brushed off Perceptor's hand, and stormed out of the house. I was a little surprised and disappointed that he'd let Red Alert win.

Red Alert watched him go, marking him as a definite security threat, and then went back to work on the cupboards.

Despite Perceptor's worry, Red Alert did put everything back where it was when he was finished. He didn't mess with Perceptor's lab very much either. Perceptor kept it tidy and organized, so the only real issue he had with it was that Perceptor needed a better lock on the door. The basement was another matter. Red Alert spent all the rest of the orn digging everything out of every corner. Again, I was glad I had decided to hide in my room. I didn't venture out again until Red Alert finally left for the off-cycle.

Perceptor was sitting at the formerly wobbly table, having a cube of energon. "Soundwave," he said, with a slight smile in my direction. "I haven't seen you all orn. Where were you?"

"Hiding."

Perceptor shook his helm. "Wise of you." He sighed. "I suppose this is a good thing after all. I'm certain we'll all be safer with him in charge of security… that is, unless his security measures kill us." _I must be really tired. I'm not usually this sarcastic, am I?_

I shook my helm. "At least he's on our side."

"There is that," Perceptor said, and took another sip of energon. "At least there's that."

* * *

The next orn, Orion called an unofficial meeting, and about twenty mecha showed up. We still hadn't gotten a response from Megatronus, but when Orion got there, I realized this meeting wasn't going to be about that.

"Hello, everyone," Orion said. "Thank you for coming on such short notice."

I wanted to leave. I should have been grateful, but I was mostly self-conscious instead.

"So what's this meeting about?" Ironhide.

"Well," Orion said. "this isn't going to be directly related to Autobot. More of a… thank you gesture. I'm sure most of you know Soundwave needed to leave the Academy because the government determined he was part of Autobot, and decided to arrest him on those grounds. They're almost certainly still looking for him.

"However, he has completed all the requirements for graduating from the Academy. I think he deserves to be at the graduation ceremony."

I looked down.

"I'd say so," Ironhide said.

There was general agreement around the room.

"So," Orion said. "Let's come up with a plan to get him there."

* * *

There was a chair for me in the Academy's Great Hall, but it was empty. I was sitting in the darkness of Perceptor's basement instead. The groundbridge was on, but not open, and Ratchet was leaning against a stack of boxes. His tests were all done, and he was reading something for fun.

It was a textbook.

Searchlight would laugh and try to get him to play a game, or do something that most other mecha would consider enjoyable. Ratchet would get offended and say that just because he liked reading textbooks didn't mean Searchlight should make fun of him.

Searchlight was gone. Why did I still do this? Why did I still imagine what it would be like if he was here? It made me happy, I suppose, but always sad afterward, when I reminded myself that that sort of thing wasn't ever going to happen again.

I'd been thinking about him a lot recently, though I wasn't sure why.

We'd just passed the two vorn mark, not too long ago. Maybe that was the reason.

" _Now."_ Red Alert's voice came over the comm. Ratchet opened the groundbridge, and I took a deep vent and stepped through, pushing Searchlight from my processor.

I was in the same closet I had been last time. The testing hall was one of the only buildings on campus that I could be bridged into without sending up all sorts of alarms. I pushed open the door and stepped out into darkness. The front doors of the hall were locked, but I had been at this campus long enough that I knew the code to open them.

The graduation ceremony was in progress. In fact, it was nearly halfway over. Red Alert had wanted to time this so that I was away from base for as little time as possible. I would go in, get up to the stage just as my designation was called, and then leave instead of sitting down in the chair that had been reserved for me.

A femme from Autobot opened a back door for me, so I wouldn't have to go in through the front. She walked with me, into the main room, then left to go sit with some of her friends. Her part in this was done. The biggest problem with using the groundbridge was that the government would be able to use the bridge's energy signature to determine how far away the actual groundbridge machinery was. We'd given them one datapoint the last time I'd bridged out of trouble. If we gave them two, they'd almost certainly figure out it was at Perceptor's house. So if at all possible, I needed to get back into the testing hall before bridging away. I had left the doors unlocked to make it easier.

My row stood up just as I came in. Perfect timing.

Some of the mecha in my row were a little surprised when I stepped into my place in line, but no one said anything, and no one thought too much about it.

We made our way to the stage, and one by one were called up to receive a certificate and a small brand on our shoulder that marked us as an Academy graduate. The proud, accomplished feelings of the others around me filled my processor, and couldn't help feeling some of it myself, despite my nervousness.

I had spent so much of my life expecting to end up insane or dead. I hadn't ever thought I'd make it all the way through the Academy. And not only was I proving that I could make it through school, I was showing the government that I wasn't afraid of them, that they couldn't stop me.

When I had my certificate, and a burning, raised pattern on my shoulder, I stepped down from the stage and headed for the nearest door, expanding my range as I went. Sure enough, they had three mechs standing out there, waiting for me. I slowed as I neared the door. Come on, Red Alert…

All three guards got a comm. from their superiors.

" _He's coming out the entrance on the north side instead. They need back-up. Go, all of you."_

They sprinted away. Red Alert had successfully hacked their communication channels.

I opened the door and transformed so I could fly to the testing hall. I heard shouting behind me, but they were too far behind me to do anything. I landed just in front of the doors, transforming again.

" _Open the bridge,"_ I commed to Ratchet before slamming open the testing hall doors and running in. The groundbridge opened just as I entered the closet, and I stepped through into Perceptor's basement.

Ratchet closed the groundbridge. "You made it."

"Yes," I said, venting a deep sigh. "I ma-ade it."

* * *

Two orns later, we got a letter back from Megatronus. Ravage brought it through the groundbridge and I commed Orion to let him know. He came during his noon break. Perceptor was home—he only had to grade papers and then he was done for the term—and Ratchet was there as well.

We gathered around the table in the meeting room to read it.

[Orion,

Thank you for your offer. Know that I would be honored to join you and your friends in Iacon. I know I have told you that my own following here has started to stagnate. I agree that joining forces might be just what both of our rebellions need.

With that said, I do feel uncertain about leaving here. I have mecha counting on me, and I worry that if I leave, they will lose hope. I have no desire to abandon them. Furthermore, I have to ask whether you have the means of extracting me from the mines and then preventing me from being re-captured. My owners hold me at some value, and will certainly attempt to find me should you be successful in helping me escape.

Also, while I have enjoyed corresponding with you, I have no way of knowing whether you speak the truth. For all I know, you could be laying some sort of elaborate trap for me. With no knowledge of you other than what you've written to me, I am hesitant to trust you as completely as I would like to.

If you truly wish to have my help, in person, in Iacon, I have to ask something similar of you. Come to Kaon and meet with me in person. We can discuss this mech to mech, with no fear of our conversation being intercepted or feigned. I don't think I can trust you, or you me, unless we do this. I also want a chance to meet with you in person to thank you for your letters, and for your support.

Please let me know if it's possible for you to come here and meet with me. Let me have a time frame of a decaorn, if that's possible, or at least a whole orn, so I can be prepared. I will reply with specific instructions so that you can find me and speak to me in a secure location.

If it isn't possible for you to come and meet with me, then I'm afraid I can't come to Iacon to help you at this time. Perhaps we will be able to work something out in the future, but I don't feel comfortable making agreements like this with a mech I've never seen.

As always, I appreciate your letters. Thank you for your time, and again for your generous offer to help me escape my slavery so that I might come and work with you.

Your friend,

Megatronus]

Perceptor and I finished reading first and waited for the others. When Ratchet finally looked up from the letter, Perceptor spoke.

"No," he said. "Orion, you can't go to Kaon."

Orion felt a brief resentment, but swallowed it. "I know you do not trust…"

"He certainly seems to have a hard time trusting us. You will find that most of the untrustworthy mecha in this world find it difficult to trust anyone else."

"I doubt he's known many mecha he _can_ trust," Orion said. "That does not necessarily mean _we_ cannot trust _him_."

"I have spoken to Alpha Trion about this and he agrees with me," Perceptor said. "You are wrong to bring a gladiator here and hand your rebellion over to him. It is foolishness."

"But I am not…" Orion said. "I cannot lead us. Why not bring in someone who can? And who are you to say he isn't trustworthy? What has he done that makes him untrustrworthy?"

"He is a killer. Do you not understand what a gladiator is?"

"He is a slave," Orion said, "A prisoner. If he doesn't fight in the arena, they will kill him. Do you think it's easy for him to run a rebellion under the olfactory sensors of those who _own_ him?"

A few things that Megatronus had hinted at in his letters ran through Orion's processor. Hardships, injuries. A guard who had been helping him had been murdered in front of him. He had been beaten and threatened. He'd never said any of it outright, but from listening to the news and reading his letters, Orion had pieced it together.

"I said I would let you bring him here," Perceptor said. "But maybe I shouldn't. I can't trust your judgment if you're considering something so foolish as going to speak with him in _Kaon_."

"He inspired us to start this," Orion said, as close to angry as I had ever seen him. "I don't understand why you are so certain he can't be trusted."

"There's a simple solution," I said.

They looked at me.

I was surprised they hadn't thought of it.

"Send me," I said. "Write and ask if you can send a re-epresenta-ative instead. I'll go."

Perceptor frowned, still deeply troubled.

"He'll be able to tell if it's a trap," Ratchet said thoughtfully. "And he'll be able to decide if Megatronus is trustworthy, better than you would, Orion."

Orion had already been looking forward to meeting him.

"Perhaps that would be all right," Perceptor said. "If you really are willing, Soundwave."

I nodded. I was better able to protect myself than Orion was, and not just because of my mind-reading abilities.

"I'm not sure whether he would agree to that," Orion said. "But I'm willing to send a letter and ask him."

Perceptor nodded. "Very well. But if Megatronus agrees, you can bring him here on one condition."

Orion frowned, but waited for Perceptor to continue.

"That condition," Perceptor said. "Is that you must promise to respect Soundwave's decision. If Soundwave decides that Megatronus is untrustworthy in any way, or wrong for our rebellion, or dangerous to us, you must tell the gladiator that we've changed our minds and that we aren't bringing him to Iacon."

Orion thought about that. He knew that I was on his side about bringing Megatronus here, and he was confident that Megatronus was trustworthy. "That seems reasonable," he said at length. "Thank you, Perceptor... I know hosting us has not always been easy."

Perceptor smiled. "I'm honored to have you here. I just want to make sure this doesn't end up being all for nothing."

Orion nodded. "I can understand that concern. I will go write a letter to Megatronus. Soundwave, can Ravage deliver it next orn?"

I nodded.

Orion stood. "Perceptor, I promise to trust Soundwave's judgment on whether we should bring Megatronus here."

"Thank you," Perceptor said, and Orion left.

Red Alert, who'd been listening from the corner of the room, got up and came over. "I think I'm with Perceptor on this one," he said. "Mostly because of what that gladiator said. If we bring him here, we're going to have a lot more trouble trying to hide."

"Well, we can't hide forever, can we?" Ratchet said. "If no one can find us, how are we supposed to get the city's support?"

"It's not about finding us," Red Alert said. "It's about finding our base. They'll be looking for it harder if they think we have an escaped gladiator here. This house is already under suspicion. In any case, I want to talk to you about all these secret passages you have."

"Oh?" Perceptor said. "What about them?"

"They're too easy to find," Red Alert shook his helm. "It's no good hiding something in a secret passage if anyone can tell there's a passage there."

"I lived here for thirty-eight vorns and only found two," Perceptor said. "Until Soundwave and his symbionts came and helped me find the rest."

"Were you _looking_ for secret passages?" Red Alert asked.

"No."

"Then you found two without even _looking_. Anyone who knows what to look for will see them immediately."

"What do you suggest?"

"Conceal them better," Red Alert said. "And just in case anyone finds the passages and uses them to spy on us, I want to put cameras and sensors in them."

Perceptor and I looked at each other.

"Unfortunately," Perceptor said. "Some of the passages are a little too small for any of us to get into."

"He has little symbionts," Red Alert pointed at me. "They can help."

"Sure," I said. "But only if you promise not to yell at them."

"Well, I have to get cameras and sensors first," Red Alert said. "I'll let you know when I have them."

He turned and went back to what he'd been doing.

Ratchet glared. _Why is_ he _suddenly in charge of this house?_

Perceptor sighed. _I still wonder whether it was a good idea to let him join._

I shrugged, and got up to leave. If things went well, I might be going to Kaon to meet and chat with a gladiator. Me. Quiet, freaky-looking, stuttering nerd, going to one of the most notoriously dangerous cities on the planet to talk to someone who killed other mecha for a living.

I wasn't quite sure what I'd just volunteered for


	68. Megatronus

Orion came back the next orn, through the back way. He was chatting with Ironhide, but he excused himself for a moment to come and hand me the letter for Megatronus.

"Hey," Ironhide said. "What do you write to him about anyway?"

I got up and headed toward the door. Now was the middle of the off-cycle for Kaon, so it would be a good time to send Ravage in.

"Well," Orion said. "Right now I'm talking with him about bringing him here. Didn't you know? We're trying to get him to come help us..."

I didn't want to hear Orion explaining why bringing Megatronus here was a good idea for the twelfth time, so I brought my range with me instead of expanding it as I walked away from them.

Ravage was napping in my room. He shifted when I came in, but didn't come all the way online, so I went over and stroked his helm to wake him.

Annoyed, he un-shuttered his optics, and looked up at me. "What?" he said. _I was recharging, what do you want?_

I held up the datapad.

Ravage moaned. "Really? Now?"

"We could do it!" Frenzy said.

"Yeah," Rumble said.

"No. Ravage?"

"Can I take it later?"

"I guess," I said, and sat down to wait. We had a window of several more joors.

I didn't have to wait very long. After just half a breem, Ravage got up and stretched. "Okay," he said. "I'll take it now."

"But I want to help," Frenzy said. "When can I help with the rebellion?"

"Soon," I told him.

"When?"

I considered telling him about Red Alert wanting them to help put cameras up in the secret passages, but I didn't want to give them ideas about that just yet.

"Some time in the next decaorn," I said. "I promise."

"Yay! Do we get to go to Kaon?"

"No, it's a different kind of he-elp."

"Really? What kind?"

Well, at least he'd graduated from asking 'why' all the time.

"A surprise," I said. "I can't tell you." I beckoned to Ravage and held the door open so we could go. Ravage followed me down the hall, then the stairs.

"Do they really get to help?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Why does it have to be a surprise?"

"I just don't want to tell them yet," I said.

"What are they going to do?"

"Help Red Alert put cameras in the secret passages."

Ravage tried to piece together why anyone would want to put cameras in places no one ever went. He figured it was just more mecha nonsense. "Red Alert?" he asked. "Isn't that the new, loud one?"

I nodded. I wasn't really sure about letting Rumble and Frenzy help him… I was definitely going to have to supervise it.

"I don't like him," Ravage said. "He's annoying."

"Ratchet's loud too," I pointed out.

"But I like Ratchet," Ravage said. _Ratchet is the best._

Sure.

We got down into the basement and I put in the coordinates to send Ravage to Kaon. After he went through I closed the bridge and waited for him to comm. me and let me know it was time to bring him back.

It didn't take long. Once he'd returned, I walked with him up to my room, and let him in, then went up to get a data pad I'd left in the meeting room.

I walked in on what was quickly escalating into an argument.

"You can't just hand all your work over to some gladiator," Ironhide was saying.

"You are not the first one to feel concerned about that…" Orion said.

"I thought this was going to be a peaceful rally to… to convince the Council to change. Not some sort of violent…"

"As I said before, our objective will not change."

"Yes it will!" Ironhide said. "Maybe you're naïve enough to think that bringing a revolutionary like that slagging gladiator in won't change things, but if that's the case maybe you're right and you have no business leading anyone anyway!"

Orion looked down.

"But you'd still be better than some killer."

"He's a slave," Orion said. "If you were in his position, would you stand and let yourself be killed?"

"No," Ironhide said. "I'd fight. I'd kill. And I'd be destroyed in the process. Slavery does things to your processor, Orion. Look that up in your history books." He turned to walk away.

"Anyone can rise above their situation," Orion said.

Ironhide snorted. "Tell me when you've realized this is a stupid idea and you've changed your mind about it. Until then, I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I signed up for social reform, not some fragging revolution." He stormed down the stairs and left out the front door.

Orion sat at the table, feeling miserable and uncertain. _Perceptor and Alpha Trion both think this is a bad idea. Now Ironhide too… what if it is? I… already told Megatronus I'd bring him here, though. I want to free him, at the very least. I wish I could free all of them… we have a groundbridge… but then what would we do? I can't help everyone, can I?_

_I can't imagine Megatronus turning our cause into something violent. I can't see why he would… I've been sending letters back and forth with him, and it seems all he wants is what we want… but what if I'm wrong?_

"Then I'll tell you," I said.

He looked up. Then smiled. "Thank you." _You don't understand how much that helps… no, you do understand, don't you?_

I shrugged. I'd have to be extra careful about this decision. I'd have to listen to everything Megatronus thought, and probably take some time to think about it before I decided. I couldn't afford to make the wrong choice about this.

* * *

Two orns later, Orion came over and we sent Ravage to Kaon to see if there was a reply. He came back through the bridge after a couple of breems, feeling pleased with himself.

"Well?" Orion asked.

"I got it," Ravage said. "There's more than a letter this time, too. He sent back another thing." Ravage brought out a datapad and a smaller data chip out of subspace. I took them and handed them to Orion.

"Should we read it up in the meeting room?" Orion asked. _I really wouldn't be surprised if he's offended that I won't go myself…_

"Can I come?" Ravage asked. "Up to the meeting room."

"Sure." I held down an arm and he scrambled up to my shoulders.

We went up to the meeting room. It was empty at the moment, save for Red Alert, who glanced suspiciously at us before returning to whatever he was doing on the computer.

We ought to get him his own office where he could run everything from. Having him in the room made everyone uncomfortable sometimes. Awkwardness, like laughter, was contagious.

"Okay," Orion said, turning the datapad on, and setting it down so we could all read.

[Orion,

Sending a representative would be acceptable. I can understand why you would be hesitant to come here yourself, especially given that you are just a library clerk. Not that there would necessarily be trouble, but this is Kaon, after all. I haven't ever been outside of the mines, but I've heard stories. Send someone who can handle himself.

Along with this letter, I'm sending you a ticket to a fight I have in five orns. When the fight is over, don't leave with the crowd. Instead, follow the guard closest to you. He'll lead you in through a side door. Don't worry about being thrown out, they usually turn a blind optic toward audience members who want to come in and meet the gladiators. Just follow the guard until you get to the energon hall. There'll be an empty table at the side of the room, under a big, yellow and black wall-hanging. Sit there, and I'll join you as soon as I can. It will be an easy fight, so it's unlikely I'd be injured badly enough to be detained.

If that isn't going to work, send me another letter with a better time. If not, I look forward to meeting with your representative in five orns, and hopefully to meeting you in person at a later date.

Again, thank you for all of your letters. And whatever happens, I wish you good luck with your campaign.

Your friend,

Megatronus]

Orion looked at me. "Soundwave… I didn't really think about it before. Will you be all right going to Kaon?"

I looked at him.

"He'd do better than you," Perceptor said. "I believe he trained under a famous Circuit-Su teacher."

"Oh," Orion said. "Right. So you should be fine."

I nodded. I would be perfectly fine. I was more worried about meeting with Megatronus than anything else. This was starting to seem like too much of a leap to me. At the same time, if Megatronus did turn out to be trustworthy, then we would have a powerful advantage. I had heard some of his speeches. They had the confidence that Orion lacked.

 _Soundwave,_ Perceptor thought. _You must judge Megatronus very carefully. Once we bring him here, there will be no sending him back. The decision is in your hands. If you even suspect this plan might turn out badly, please advise Orion against it._

I nodded. I would do that. Even though it would be wonderful to have a strong public speaker among us, it would be useless if Megatronus wasn't trustworthy.

In five orns, I would find out.

* * *

Those five orns passed relatively quickly. On the orn before I was going to Kaon, Red Alert was ready to install camera systems into the secret passageways. That took all orn, and by the end of it, everyone involved was all kinds of exhausted.

The next orn, in the beginning of the on-cycle—which was near the end for Kaon—Perceptor hesitantly input groundbridge coordinates for the city on the other side of the world. There was a chance someone would see the bridge and report it, but we had picked a location we knew there weren't usually mecha.

Orion and a few others were there to see me off. I had decided against bringing Ravage, which had upset him. But I wasn't sure if he'd need his own ticket, or if they even allowed mecha to bring symbionts in the first place.

Because Ravage had memories of exploring the city, I knew my way around pretty well. After stepping through the bridge I made my way straight to the gladiator rings.

Though Kaon got more direct sunlight than Iacon, its sky was tinted with smoke and pollution so it was actually darker. Sparklings played and ran in the streets, like they did in Iacon's slums and alleyways, and mecha with chipped paint—or none—hurried past, helms down. I kept my range expanded, even when I got to more populated areas. I didn't stand out as much as someone with brighter colors, like Orion or Ratchet, would, but I knew I didn't quite fit in.

Just walking through the streets left me feeling dull and hopeless. This place really was as bad as Megatronus said it was. About a third of the mecha I passed were in debt one way or another, and just waiting for the collectors to come and haul them away to the mines, and those who weren't were still barely able to support themselves. No wonder Megatronus had such a following here. If I lived here, I would want to cling to hope somehow, even if it was only offered by a slave gladiator.

Why didn't the Council do something about this place? Why wouldn't they _help?_ Did they not _know_ what it was like here? Or did they just not care?

As I neared my destination, I came to quieter streets, where optics watched from every alley. For the first time in my life, I was glad my screen made me look like a drone. No one thought I might have anything of value to take.

I reached the entrance to the gladiator pits, and showed my ticket. The guards at the door waved me in. I was early, so I got to my seat and listened as the stands filled around me. It was a good seat—near the front and with a clear view of the arena. I recalled the time back in secondary school when Ravage had been kidnapped and put in symbiont fights. This, though on a larger scale, was the same sort of thing.

I started to wish I had Ravage here now. I was surprised at how uncomfortable I was, being here alone. I didn't mind being alone by myself. But being alone in a crowd of strangers was unnerving—especially in a crowd of the kind of strangers who liked to go to gladiator fights.

After crossing the city, I'd started to feel like rescuing Megatronus would be a good thing to do, but I understood Perceptor's worry as well. I remembered the wild optics of that thing Ravage had been pitted against before we'd rescued him. Megatronus _seemed_ sane enough when he gave his speeches but, sitting here among this mad, expectant crowd, I wasn't sure how that was possible.

I wouldn't be able to listen to Megatronus's thoughts during the fight. There was no way I'd be willing to stretch my range out that far, especially since this crowd wasn't one I wanted to share thoughts with. I'd have to wait until afterward, when I could talk to him personally, to start trying to determine his trustworthiness.

Before long, the stands were filled and the lights faded out except for the ones illuminating the circular arena. I barely listened as they announced the fight. I didn't want to be here, didn't want to watch this. It was so _wrong_ that they made mecha fight to the death and that other mecha paid to see it.

A door opened across the arena from me, and a mech stepped out. I knew immediately it was Megatronus. His very presence demanded attention. He was powerfully-built, covered in elegant curved plating, and painted silver. He looked up at the stands in my direction, and whether or not he saw me, a hint of a smile graced his scarred lip plates.

The crowd cheered, but I froze, staring, horrified. He turned away from me slightly to face his opponent, who must have come out of the other side.

That smirk...

They had screens all over the arena that would display the fight from different angles. I tore my gaze from the arena to look at one that showed Megatronus up close. I could see the determined set of his lip plates and the tense excitement in his glowing red optics. His frame was unfamiliar, and the scars and the optic color were new, but I could _never_ forget that expression.

This was impossible.

This was _not_ real.

I looked back down at the arena, fighting the urge to expand my range. Megatronus was faster and more practiced, but I could see it in his stance, in his hard-earned balance, in the fluidity and confidence of his motions.

I had known immediately that this mech was Megatronus. And now I knew that he wasn't. Or at least, he hadn't always been. Without a shadow of a doubt, though the improbability of the situation was beyond unreasonable, I knew.

I knew.

He was Searchlight.


	69. Old Wounds

I knew it wasn't possible. I knew Searchlight was dead. But that was him. Each moment of the fight I watched I knew again that it was him. Megatronus was Searchlight. I wasn't sure how this had happened, but a small part of me wasn't even surprised.

Searchlight wasn't dead—of course he wasn't dead.

He wasn't dead, but here he was—a slave with scars on his faceplate and energon on his hands.

He took his time in the fight. His opponent was obviously inferior, but Megatronus dragged it out, putting on a show. It was almost physically painful to watch my best friend toy with his opponent, break him down, and slowly destroy him. As the fight progressed, I started to feel angry—not at him, but at the mecha who had made the best mech I had ever known into this… this weapon. And I couldn't do anything but watch as he reduced another mech to a mass of broken limbs and dripping energon.

He left his opponent alive at least. Once the other gladiator was on the ground, entirely incapacitated, Megatronus faced the crowd and raised his arm to fire upward. The blast from his enormous cannon hit some sort of barrier and lit up the outline of a large dome.

The crowd quieted, so quickly it was as if my audios had just turned off. They were all waiting for him to speak.

"My mecha," he said. His voice was harsh and grating, but the cadence and the rhythm were Searchlight's. How had I not noticed that before when I'd heard him on the radio? "I know it's hard to find hope these orns, and I have no grounds on which to speak of it. I just brutally tore another mech to pieces, and you watched it and enjoyed it. We are what society has made us. We are the hopeless." He looked down at the mess he'd just made, then back up again. "But the off-cycle is old, friends, and the sun will rise in time." He fired again, showing everyone the limits of the cage he was in, then walked away.

Brief and powerful, and maybe just a little overdramatic.

Some things hadn't changed.

Primus, Searchlight was alive. He was alive and he was here. Why hadn't he said anything? Why hadn't he tried to contact us? Surely he knew we would have come to rescue him if we had only known he was here.

Mecha started to get up and leave. I remembered Megatronus's instructions and looked for a guard. I saw one nearby, and made my way toward him.

He watched me as I approached. _I think this one was in the right seat… he doesn't have a faceplate. Interesting._

I stopped a few paces away and waited for him to speak first.

"Hey," he said. "Can you let me see your ticket?"

I unsubspaced the data chip and handed it to him. He looked at it, determined that I really was the mech Megatronus had told him about, and beckoned me to follow him.

"So," he said quietly as he led me toward a door. "You're the mech from Iacon?"

I nodded slightly.

"Okay, good. I'll show you where to go." The guard took me in through a door, and down a corridor to a large, loud room, then pointed to an empty table by the wall.

I nodded. "Thank you."

"No problem." The guard turned and walked away. I crossed the room, sat down at the table, and waited in silent anticipation. I was going to get to talk to Searchlight in just a few breems. I couldn't believe this was happening. This was like some sort of daydream—It couldn't possibly be real. It had been so long since I'd spoken to him.

He'd probably be surprised to see that Orion's representative was his best friend from secondary school.

Keepsake and Cam were going to be so happy to hear he wasn't dead. And Ratchet, and Cablereach…

And Breeze.

Was this really happening?

Could it really be him?

I watched all the doors, painfully excited. Just a few more breems. It was too long—any time at all was too long. What if I had been wrong? But… It had to be him, of course it was him. It made so much sense—of course Searchlight would start a revolution. It was exactly what he would do.

He came in and I knew it again. He spoke to a few mecha near the door, and then looked over at me. I expanded my range to cover him as he made his way to the table I was sitting at.

His mind, as I had expected, was recognizably Searchlight's.

But suddenly I doubted, because he didn't know who I was.

He didn't recognize me at all. He wondered why Orion would send someone without a faceplate to talk to him, but didn't think too much about it as he approached and sat down opposite from me.

How was that possible? It wasn't like I had changed much over the past few vorns, not like him.

"Hello," he said. _Is he going to talk? Is this the right mech after all?_

I nodded, and held out my hand for him to shake. "Soundwave," I said.

"Good to meet you."

He recognized my designation, but only because Orion had mentioned it in his letter.

But how could I be wrong here?

I had to be careful. He was starting to feel like something wasn't quite right about the situation. I needed him to trust me and come back to Iacon. He couldn't stay here.

I nodded. "Thank you fo-or agreeing to meet with me. It's… I didn't expect Kaon to be… the way it is."

That ought to explain why I was a little uncomfortable.

He relaxed a little. "Really? I hear Iacon's very different."

I nodded.

"You look like you've seen your share of troubles, though." _What happened to his face? And his voice… I can sympathize with that._

They'd taken his voice box away at some point. Primus… I put a hand to my screen. "An a-accident when I was a sparkling," I said.

No recognition. None. He really didn't remember me. I stared at his scarred faceplate.

"Happens sometimes," he said, nodding, thinking of explosions down in the mines that had killed mecha he knew. "So…" he shook his helm. "Soundwave. Now that you've seen Kaon, I want you to tell me why you think I can afford to leave it. Besides the obvious, of course—no one wants to be a slave. But I have mecha here counting on me. Why should I abandon them?" He smiled slightly, challenging me, wanting me to have a good answer.

"How long have you been a gladiator?"

"More than a vorn now," Megatronus said.

"And before that, how long were you a miner?" It had been two and a quarter vorns since his offlining...

"As long as I can remember," _About three quarters of a vorn, I think. He'll probably assume I mean longer._

He couldn't remember. He had no memories from before. He had woken up in the mines, all alone, with no recollection of who he was, or why he was there, or what anyone wanted him to do. He hadn't even understood what anyone was saying at first. It had been two and a quarter vorns ago.

They must have wiped his memory.

I swallowed my horror and continued. "Then you've never been out in the city?"

Megatronus hesitated, and shook his helm. "No." _Not that I can remember, at least._

"What do you know o-of history? Science? Po-o-olitics?"

"Not much," Megatronus said. "They don't exactly have a library down here." He imagined for a moment the gladiators sitting around a table, reading datapads about history.

"If you come to Iacon, you will be better able to help the mecha here," I said. "Aside from helping Orion and the rest of us with our movement there, you will have opportunities to-o learn many things. And, if we are successful in getting an audience with the Council and forcing them to make the social changes we need, they will ha-ave to stop ignoring this city."

Megatronus studied me. _He makes good points._ "I also wanted you to know," he said quietly, "That fight out there… that was me. I'm not just some idealist like Orion obviously is. I'm not afraid of getting my hands dirty, and doing whatever it takes. If that's not what you want, then maybe you ought to re-think bringing me there."

"That's why-y we need you," I said. "Orion's a-a wo-onderful mech, but he's…"

"I know," Megatronus said. "We _have_ been sending letters back and forth. I'm glad I'm not just imagining it." _He's too good. Mecha as good as him don't live long enough to make a difference._

"He's not typical by any de-efinition." I said.

Megatronus looked down. _Orion reminds me of… no._ An image of a smiling fledgling flashed through his processor, but he banished it. It was someone from the mines. Someone who had died.

"We want the same things you do," I said. "We-e want to help you. And we need y-your help."

I ought to tell him. I ought to tell him I knew who he had been before the mines. I wanted to tell him I knew his creators and all of his friends. But Searchlight had always been skeptical of coincidences, and he was much less trusting than before. I didn't want him to feel like I was trying to manipulate him. I also didn't know whether the fact that he had no memories was common knowledge. _We_ certainly hadn't heard about it. I didn't think he'd mentioned it in his letters to Orion either. If I told him I knew, it would make him suspicious.

So I didn't say anything. There would be time for explanations later, when he trusted us more. We would find a way to get him back. We had to. If nothing else, we could show him the mech he had been before. We could still fix this. I just needed to get him to Iacon.

"I am willing to go," Megatronus said. "But I can't break myself out of this cage. Possibly the best way to leave would be to bring the energy shield down during a fight so I could fly away, but they're prepared for that scenario, so it's no sure thing.

"Is it groundbridge-proof?" I asked quietly.

"I doubt it," Megatronus said.

"We have a gro-oundbridge."

He stared at me for a few astroseconds, working that through his processor. "You…"

I nodded. "We ca-an get you out, whenever you're ready."

"Unicron," he muttered. "That's… an advantage."

I nodded.

"You know," he said with a smirk. "Someone once told me I wasn't ever getting out of here unless I had connections to powerful mecha."

"I wouldn't quite call us po-owerful," I said. "Just lucky."

He nodded. "I guess. What's your role in all of this?"

I shrugged. "I run communications and intelligence."

"Communications, huh?" _With the stutter and everything._

I nodded.

Megatronus shrugged. _All right then._ "I look forward to meeting all of you. So…" A plan was already starting to formulate in his processor. "…it seems getting me out isn't going to be that difficult. In fact, we've got plenty of options…"

* * *

I stepped through the groundbridge into Perceptor's basement. About half of the mecha in Autobot were there.

I didn't want a crowd.

"So," Orion said. "Do you think we should bring him back?"

I glanced around the room, at all the expectant faceplates. They wanted me to say something. They wanted me to tell them what had happened. This would change everything. All of them had heard about Searchlight… I couldn't. They wouldn't understand—they wouldn't believe.

But I had to say something. "We can tru-ust him," I said, then pushed past everyone else and climbed the basement stairs. Some of them were worried or curious, but I ignored their silent questions and went to my room. I couldn't talk to anyone just yet. I had to decide what I was going to say first, and who to tell about Searchlight. Perceptor? Orion? Ratchet?

Searchlight?

He didn't know who he was. I had failed him, worse than I had thought. I should have made sure before believing he was dead. If I'd found him earlier, we would have been able to get him out. I'd been too afraid. I hadn't wanted to watch him die, so I had hidden while Cablereach looked into the matter. All I would have needed to do was be present while he was talking to someone who knew Searchlight hadn't really been killed.

But I hadn't. I'd gone back to Crescent's house and shut myself off from the rest of the world for a quarter of a vorn.

Searchlight had been online and in pain while I sulked. He'd been in the mines, watching everyone around him die.

"Soundwave?" Ravage asked. "How was it? Did you talk to Megatronus? Is he coming here?"

I sat down at my desk, and didn't answer.

Searchlight had been in the mines, watching everyone around him die. He had been in the gladiator pits, fighting for his life.

I put my helm down on the desk.

"What?" Ravage asked. "Soundwave? Are you all right?"

I shook my helm.

"What happened?"

I shook my helm again. Megatronus, the rebel gladiator, was my best friend back from the dead. Who could I tell? How could I fix this? There was probably no way for him to get his memories back, not if it had been a true memory wipe. No one who knew would be able to do anything. I'd just get more pity, and so would Searchlight.

Maybe I ought to just keep it to myself. If I told them Megatronus was Searchlight, they might not trust my judgment. They might not want to bring him here if they knew how biased I was. I had to get him out of there. I absolutely needed to get Searchlight out of Kaon, at all costs.

"Soundwave?" Ravage climbed up onto my shoulders. The twins climbed up to the desk, and Laserbeak flew down to attach to the back of my chair.

I would find a way to tell some of them, but not yet. Not now. No one needed to know yet.

I still wasn't sure whether to be happy or miserable.

Searchlight was alive.

That meant I had another chance.

I couldn't fail him again. Not one more time.

Never.

* * *

Other mecha came into my range, outside the door, wondering if I was all right, or what had happened. No one knocked, though, even as the joors stretched on. If they had, I wouldn't have responded. I curled up on my berth long before the off-cycle. My symbionts piled on top of me, concerned, but not quite worried. They knew the drill. I didn't need them to be worried, I just needed them to be there.

Two vorns of moping and Searchlight had been struggling through life in the mines. Now I was moping again. But what else could I do?

I stayed in my room the rest of the orn. The next orn, though, I knew I needed to go out and talk to Orion and Perceptor. I waited until Orion showed up, during his mid-orn break, to come out.

"Hey," he said when I met him in the front hall. _Are you all right? I shouldn't have asked you to go to Kaon. I'm sorry._

I shook my helm. It wasn't his fault, and he had no idea what had bothered me so much. He might not believe me if I told him. No, Orion would believe me, but I knew it would change things in ways I didn't want.

Searchlight was the one who really might not believe me. And if he thought we were trying to manipulate him, he might not let us help him.

"So…" Orion said. "What happened? Here, let's talk somewhere more private."

"I'm coming too," Perceptor said. "I want to hear this."

I would tell them both what they wanted to hear, whatever would convince them to get Searchlight out of that place.

We went to a small room next to the main meeting room.

"So," Perceptor said, looking concerned. "What happened?" _Why were you hiding in your room all orn?_

I tried to choose my words carefully. "It… wasn't anything specific. I just realized something… it's not important. I just... needed some time to think afterward."

"Think about what?" Perceptor asked.

I shrugged. I had nothing, unless I was going to tell them the truth. "It doesn't have to do with Se… this do-oesn't have to do with Megatronus," I listened hard but, fortunately, neither of them paid any attention to my slip-up. "It's no-ot important."

"Okay," Perceptor said, not convinced. "So what about Megatronus then? What was your impression of him?"

Again, I spoke carefully. I didn't want to lie outright. And it wasn't that he was necessarily untrustworthy, just that I was biased about it. "He was very honest. He also… is definitely capable of what we wa-ant him to do."

"But is he…?" Perceptor frowned. "I want to know if he's been corrupted by being a gladiator. No good mech would choose to kill others for a living."

"He di-idn't," I said. "He's a slave. He doesn't have a choice."

"And if he had a choice? I suppose that's really the question."

Searchlight would never. "No. If he had a choice, he wouldn't be a gladi-iator. "

Perceptor nodded. _It's his spark that we need to know about._

"I read minds," I said. "Not spa-a-arks. But fro-om what I heard, I'm certain we can trust him. What he-e ca-ares about is the me-echa in Kaon. You ca-an't expect him to be i-innocent a-and chee-ee-eerful, but he's not out o-of control and vi-iolent either."

Perceptor studied me carefully. _Something's wrong with him. He's stuttering so much..._

No good. I was making a mess of this. Primus, I couldn't do this. Last orn I'd thought my best friend had died two vorns ago, but now I knew he hadn't. What had happened to him was worse than that.

I almost broke down then. I almost told them. They would understand why we _needed_ to get Searchlight out—why _I_ needed it. They would understand.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Are you all right?" Orion asked.

"No," I said. "I'm… not sure. I just… don't want to ta-alk about it."

We sat in silence for almost a breem.

"All right," Perceptor said softly. "I can respect that. Are you sure you can make a decision about Megatronus right now?"

"Yes," I said, calm again. "I believe we can trust him. He's good, under whatever he-e's been forced by his situation to be-ecome. He's good."

It was what Orion had expected and hoped for, and was the most Perceptor would believe.

I wondered whether I would be giving this sort of review if he hadn't been Searchlight, or if I hadn't recognized him. I wasn't sure. I didn't want to think that I might not be.

But it didn't matter. I _knew_ Searchlight. Searchlight could never stop being good.

"You really think we can trust him?" Orion asked. _I want to believe him and help him, but if it's going to do more harm than good to bring him here… I don't want to be responsible for that._

"Megatronus doesn't hide," I said. "And his spee-eeches are hi-is own. What you see in his letters is him."

That was also something Orion had been hoping to hear. It wasn't wrong, not exactly. Searchlight had always had a brutally honest side, but he _could_ keep secrets.

"Very well," Perceptor said. "I suppose we should continue as planned. How are we getting him out?"

"Does it matter if they see the groundbridge?"

"If who sees the groundbridge?" Perceptor asked.

"Everyone."

Perceptor and Orion looked at each other, then back at me.

"What exactly are you thinking of doing?" Perceptor asked.

"It wasn't my idea," I said, and outlined to them what Megatronus planned to do.

* * *

We had a meeting later that orn. Almost everyone in Autobot came, which made the room crowded and uncomfortable. I sat outside in the hall because I didn't need to be inside to hear, and I didn't have anything I really wanted to say.

Ratchet showed up late. He wandered over and stood across the hall from me.

"So," he said. "Are we bringing in the crazy gladiator?"

I nodded.

Ratchet huffed. "I'd hoped we wouldn't. Are you sure he's trustworthy?"

He was Searchlight. Maybe I should tell Ratchet. He of all mecha… would freak out the most. I didn't want that. And in any case, I didn't have to tell him because he would figure it out. As soon as we brought Searchlight here, Ratchet would recognize him and then _he_ could tell everyone else. I could just say I hadn't been entirely sure, and hadn't wanted to say it if it wasn't true. This would work. This would be perfect. I didn't have to worry about telling anyone, because Ratchet would do it for me.

"Soundwave?" _Are you listening? I asked you a question._

I nodded.

"Yes, you're acknowledging that I asked you a question or yes, you think Megatronus is trustworthy?"

I nodded again.

"Stop that!"

"I mean both," I said.

"Oh… fine then." He frowned. _So he thinks it's a good idea to replace Orion with some random gladiator._

"No one's getting replaced," I said quietly, and Orion called the meeting to order before Ratchet could respond to that.

Orion's plan to bring Megatronus here was debated again. I almost worried for a while that it would get shot down. But everyone eventually agreed to it, provided that Megatronus functioned primarily as the head of public relations, and Orion agreed to continue to lead alongside him. It wasn't what Orion wanted, and I wasn't so sure about it either. If Searchlight was in charge of us, we weren't likely to fail. If Searchlight and Orion were sharing the leadership of Autobot… it depended on how well the two of them worked together. Maybe it would be all right. Orion practically hero-worshipped Megatronus just like Ratchet and I had hero-worshipped Searchlight. He was larger than life, unstoppable…

I still couldn't get the image of the fight I'd seen the orn before out of my helm. The energon on Searchlight's hands and the ground, and the one long scream his opponent had let out when the final blow had been delivered.

Searchlight had left the other mech alive. That had to count for something, right?

I got up and walked away. Ratchet called after me, then stood there—annoyed and somewhat offended that I was ignoring him. I went to my room, shut the door behind myself, and sat on my berth.

Ravage came over and hopped up onto my shoulders. "Are you better?" he asked.

I sighed and lay down on the berth. Ravage shifted so he made a big warm semi-circle around my helm.

"You aren't better, are you?"

"No," I said.

Ravage rubbed his helm against mine. The twins and Laserbeak came to join him, piling on top of me. I wanted to scream, because I'd done nothing to earn such love and loyalty from them. I turned on my side and wished I could be happier for their sakes.

"Soundwave?" Ravage said quietly. "Did something hurt you while you were in Kaon?" _Whatever it is, I'll go find it next time I go there and kill it._

"No," I said. "I'm not hurt."

"Then what's wrong?" Frenzy asked. "If you're not hurt, why are you sad?"

I turned my helm so my screen was up against Ravage's head. "I'm a liar."

It felt good—and terrifying—to admit that. None of them understood why that would make me so upset. I had told lies in the past. I lied to a lot of mecha every orn who didn't know I could read minds. And I wasn't even entirely sure what I was lying about in this case, or who I was lying to. I didn't want to think about it hard enough to figure it out because I was afraid that it would mean Searchlight staying in Kaon and killing more and more mecha in gladiator fights. More and more energon on his hands. I had to get him out so he could heal, so he could find himself again. I wasn't going to let him down, like that time in secondary school when I'd walked away from the fight with the bullies. This time I'd stick with him. The stakes were higher and the bullies were bigger, but so were we.

And if we got Searchlight back, then nothing in the world would be able to stop us.


	70. Arrival

I didn't come out of my room until the off-cycle, and only because my symbionts needed to refuel. I brought them all with me out to the living room where I found Perceptor sitting with a worried expression on his faceplate. I expanded my range before talking to him.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I tried to get in contact with Wheeljack this orn," Perceptor said.

I froze for a moment, on my way to the cupboard.

Perceptor shook his helm. "I couldn't reach him. I've tried every joor for the past six joors. He's not answering his comm. or messages I send through his datapad..."

I got a cube of energon and opened it so my symbionts could take turns drinking from it. "We should go see if he's all right."

Perceptor took a deep breath and nodded. _I'm afraid it's probably not a question of whether or not he's all right. The question at this point is most likely whether or not the government will start to develop weaponry based off of his research._

I looked down. Perceptor was probably right.

"We should go in any case," Perceptor said. "And hope it's not a trap, and hope against hope that he's still safe."

"I'll come." I felt like I owed Perceptor something because I’d told everyone Megatronus was trustworthy.

"You don't have to." _Going to Kaon was more traumatic for him than he wants us to know._

I shook my helm. "I'm going," I said. "In case it's a trap."

"All right," Perceptor said. "You put up with a lot, don't you?" He shook his helm. "Much more than we ever notice. Thank you."

No. Don't thank me. Not right now.

"I'm sorry I was skeptical," Perceptor said. "If you say we can trust Megatronus, then I'll stand behind that."

Every possibility that I might tell him the truth left. Now, if I spoke up, he'd feel betrayed. Even if he understood why, he wouldn't trust me anymore.

Of course, it would come out when Ratchet saw Searchlight. Maybe I could pretend that I hadn't realized it, or that Megatronus had reminded me of Searchlight but that I hadn't thought it could really be him.

A soon as my symbionts were done with their energon, I took them back to my room.

* * *

The sun was setting on Polyhex when we arrived. Perceptor knew where Wheeljack had been living and therefore I knew as well. I took the lead, range expanded as far as I dared to keep it. When we were two streets from where we were going, I pushed it out even farther so I could hear the apartment, just for a moment. I paused and Perceptor, walking beside me, stopped as well.

 _What is it?_ He wondered.

Nothing. No one in the vicinity was even thinking about Wheeljack, much less lying in wait for him or anyone else. I started walking again and Perceptor followed my lead.

_Is it safe?_

I nodded.

_Is he here?_

I shook my helm. His apartment was completely empty.

"Okay," Perceptor said. "I'll talk to the landlord."

I stayed outside and listened as he went in. He knew better than to mention Wheeljack specifically, but he asked if there were any vacancies. The mech told him there were, and they talked for half a breem about prices before Perceptor excused himself and came back outside.

"So?" he said.

The landlord's thoughts hadn't held any terrible news, but they hadn't been that helpful either. "Wheeljack le-eft on his own. He to-old the landlord he was leaving last orn, and was gone by the off-cycle."

Perceptor frowned. "But…" he said. "That makes no sense. Why would he leave? What's more, why would he leave without telling us?"

I shrugged. If Wheeljack had been there, I would have had an answer for him. As it was, I had no idea.

"Hmm," Perceptor said as we walked. "I'm still worried. This doesn't seem like him at all… and he hasn't been answering his comm." _We still don't know if he's all right, only that the government didn't drag him away kicking and screaming from this place._

"What if…" I said. "What if he knew the-ey were listening and didn't wa-ant to involve us?"

Perceptor shook his helm. "If something went wrong, or if they found him, he ought to have contacted us… or at least disappeared without coming back here to pack first. Like I said, it doesn't make sense."

"But now we ca-an hope he's all right," I said quietly.

Perceptor nodded, still troubled. "There is that… let's go see if his employer has any idea where he could have gone."

So we went to Wheeljack's work, but were met with a similar story there. Wheeljack had shown up a few orns ago, and said he was quitting, out of the blue and with no explanation to offer. He had left suddenly, and of his own free will, but for some reason had made no attempt to contact us. Not only that, he had ignored Perceptor's attempts to contact him.

"Where do we look?" Perceptor asked after we had left the factory where Wheeljack had worked. "We can't just comm. the enforcers."

I didn't think there was anything we could do. I wished I could go back in time and listen to what he'd been thinking.

"Maybe he'll get in contact wi-ith us eventually," I said.

Perceptor nodded, though the idea didn’t comfort him much. "I hope so… it's not as if we can contact him though..." _It feels wrong to give up so quickly._

The sun was nearly down.

 _What can we do? We could try to leave a message for him, but how would he know where to find it? I've already left several messages on his comm. I don't know what else to do._ Perceptor sighed. "Shall we go home then?"

I nodded, looking up at the reddish, twilight sky. We could only hope Wheeljack was all right, wherever he was, and that he would contact us soon.

We headed back to Iacon. We had left Red Alert to operate the groundbridge, and when we were in a secluded, previously-agreed-on area, he opened it up for us. We had thought about going in a legal, official bridge, but the government was still looking for me, so that wasn't a good idea.

Red Alert greeted us as he closed down the bridge. Then he went back up the stairs to return to the office he'd made for himself.

We followed him up out of the basement to find Orion and Elita sitting at the table in the front room, talking quietly.

"Perceptor," Orion stood when we entered the room. "Did you find Wheeljack? Is he all right?"

"We couldn't find him," Perceptor said. "However, it seems he disappeared of his own free will. My biggest question is why he didn't make any attempt to contact us. We have no idea where he might have gone, but it doesn't seem like anyone was chasing him or that he was in any sort of danger when he left, so we can hope he's all right and that we'll hear from him soon.”

Orion nodded, troubled as well.

"Are you sure he didn't contact you at all?" Elita asked softly.

"I don't think he did," Perceptor said.

 _Well,_ Elita thought _That's concerning, but worrying won't get them anywhere._ "Maybe you should give him a decaorn to contact you then go try to find him again."

"We have no idea where to look," Perceptor said.

If we didn't hear from him, I could look into the transportation system records to see if he had left the city, then go from there.

Perceptor sighed. _It feels like things are falling apart again… or at least spinning out of my control._ "Thank you." He sighed and put a hand to his helm. "When are we bringing that gladiator here?"

"Five orns if all goes well," Orion said.

Elita looked up at him. _Ironhide still doesn't like the idea of getting Megatronus involved. I guess we'll have to wait and see how it goes. Megatronus seems like a good mech, from what Orion has told me about his letters, but there's no way to tell until you actually meet him._

Searchlight. In five orns, we were going to bring Searchlight here. We were going to get him out of the mines. Maybe, somehow, we could help him, once Ratchet recognized him and told everyone who he was.

"Well," Elita said, "It was nice talking with you, Orion." She smiled up at him. _I still can't believe this sometimes,_ she thought. _A revolutionary. He had to be a revolutionary._ "Stay safe."

"I was going to walk you home," Orion said. "We can leave now if you like."

"Oh," Elita said. "All right, thank you, that would be wonderful."

"Let's go out the back," Orion said, offering her a hand. She took it and stood gracefully, then followed him out of the room.

That femme just _had_ to show up right now. It wasn't that I had anything against her or the fact that she and Orion liked each other, but Orion could not afford distractions.

I thought about Breeze. Should I tell her? She, of all mecha, deserved to know that Searchlight was alive. But I didn't want to break it to her that he didn't remember us. I didn't want to break it to her that he'd spent the last two vorns in Kaon, in the mines and gladiator rings. She had mostly gotten over his death, but this would bring all the pain back.

We would wait and see. Searchlight would be here. Then Ratchet and I could talk to her about it together, and she could come see him. Maybe she'd be able to help him. If anyone would be able to help him, it would be Breeze.

"I'm going to go recharge," Perceptor said. "It's been a long orn."

I nodded, and he left. Then I got up and went to my room to think and work on making sure everything went smoothly with bringing Megatronus here.

* * *

Red Alert had essentially turned Perceptor's house into a maximum security fortress. In order to get into the back entrance, you needed a passcode, and there were cameras hidden literally everywhere. There wasn't a millimeter of wall or floor space—including the insides of the walls—that didn't have a camera aimed at it.

Well, except for my room. He had tried, but it wasn't hard for me to find his cameras. I had approached him once and pointed out that if I was a traitor, they were all scrapped anyway, and so he might as well leave my room alone. He hadn't been very happy about it, but he had mostly given up. I had convinced him to leave Pereptor's room alone as well, and his lab.

In any case, that part of my job—making sure Perceptor's house was safe—was over. More than accounted for. I still had to do a good deal of hacking though, so we could keep putting up information about the mecha who had disappeared. We hadn't done Shockwave yet, but I had looked and actually found several articles about his disappearance on networks that were less official. It seemed Autobot was contagious. We had an ever-growing database up on the public network. They kept taking it down, but I always put it back up. Other groups had started doing similar things, though none of them were on the public network.

Megatronus was exactly what Autobot needed to push us to the next level. We were already gaining popularity, and we were even doing pretty good funds-wise, but right now we were all volunteers. Poor Orion was trying to juggle work at the Hall of Records, Autobot, and Elita.

No, that wasn't fair. Elita was a lot of help. She had a job too, but she put several joors every orn toward helping Orion with Autobot.

In any case, Autobot needed to expand enough that Orion could justify quitting his work. I had heard that Alpha Trion wasn't really happy with him of late, which made sense because he was just as tired as Shockwave had been back when he was running his campaign.

The similarity there frightened me a little. I knew that if the Council could make Orion disappear too, they would. I didn't like him crossing the city every orn from work to Perceptor's house to Elita's house, and then finally to his own apartment. Red Alert didn't like it either. He especially didn't like how well-known Orion was in the city for his sparkling horde. If it became common knowledge that he was the leader of Autobot, he would be in serious trouble.

He was donating all of his spare credit to the cause, but even with that, and the rest of what we could put together, we didn't have the freedom to host very many more mecha at Perceptor's house.

Even though I wasn't in charge of security anymore, I felt like making sure Autobot kept going was my responsibility. I kept things organized, kept things moving, and tried to keep everyone safe and the Council off our trail. All in all, it was a full-time job, and I was just lucky that Perceptor was letting me make use of his home and energon.

It was going to become even more of a job later. But it was my turn to work hard at something like this now. And if I was going to go out I wasn't going to go quietly. I might not go out fighting like Searchlight, or famous like Shockwave, but I wouldn't let anyone forget what I'd done.

The orn we were to bring Megatronus to Iacon drew closer far too quickly and far too slowly. We were barely ready by the time he was expecting us, and at the same time, I could not wait any longer. Every breem we wasted was a breem in which something could go wrong.

Finally the orn arrived. I brought Ravage and the twins this time because they had a part to play in this.

It had turned out, unfortunately, that the field they put up around the gladiator pit was groundbridge-proof. If it weren't for that, we could bridge him out easily. With a little recon, we had discovered the location of the generator—and the back-up generator—so all we needed to do was take them out. Both of them were in places that Rumble and Frenzy could get to. They both had EMP bombs that would knock out the generators… and anyone who was too close. You could probably kill someone with one if you set it off right by their helm. I was a little uneasy about giving them to the twins, but Rumble and Frenzy understood the gravity of the situation. They were also so happy about the opportunity to help that I knew they would do their very best to follow my instructions.

Megatronus’s fight was very crowded—he had quietly passed the word around that something special was going to happen this time. As soon as I was in my seat, I let my symbionts down to the ground and spoke to them through the internal comm. systems Ratchet had given them.

" _Both of you know where to go and what to do, right?"_

They nodded.

" _Good,"_ I told them. I also had a link to their visual feed. It would have been confusing to most mecha, to be receiving two visual feeds on top of their own, but it wasn't a problem at all for me to separate the feeds and interpret them all at the same time.

The twins crept off through the crowd. It helped them that they had spent time on the streets before I had owned them. They knew how to sneak. I was glad—possibly for the first time—that all of my symbionts had needed to fight for their continued existence at some point. It made me less worried about them.

I kept an optic on the twins while the gladiatorial match started. We had gotten in contact with Megatronus earlier in the orn and let him know the plan was still a go. Now he just needed to trust that we would do our part. I wondered how it was possible for him to trust anyone at this point. I was sure I wouldn't have been able to. Of course, I probably would have been offlined in the mines. Searchlight was something special. Somehow I wasn't really surprised he was alive. Yes, I'd believed he was dead, but there was something obvious, something inevitable about this. Searchlight never gave up and never stopped fighting. He _survived._ Searchlight was… he was a force of nature. He always had been.

But from now on, I wasn't going to take that for granted. I had lost him once, and I didn't want to go through that again.

His opponent seemed more powerful than the previous one. The fight was vicious, and the other mech managed to injure him. I winced every time he was hit, but I figured he'd dealt with this sort of thing a lot. He had never been afraid of getting hurt. I remembered the first time I'd met him, when he'd jumped on Motormaster, gleefully urging me to run as he tried to hold off someone much larger than him.

It looked pretty close for a while, and I worried once or twice that he might lose, but he didn't. In the end, he shoved his opponent down onto the energon-splattered floor of the arena and ran him through. I couldn't tell if the other mech was dead or not, but he lay still as Megatronus stood and raised his stained blade to the sky before retracting it.

"My mecha," he said, and the warmth in his voice was almost enough to make me forget about the horrible show of violence I'd just witnessed. "this orn is an orn of change. This orn, I leave you."

Surprise washed over the crowd. Leaving them? What did he mean by that? The guards at the door he was supposed to go through at the end of the match shifted nervously.

The twins came back and I picked them up and put them on my shoulders. Ravage, curled up in my lap, purred. He had been worried about them.

"Good job," I told the twins, and discretely handed each of them an energon treat.

"This orn, I'm leaving," He gestured around the ring. "I'm leaving this life of slavery and killing." He smiled up at the audience. "This orn, I will be free. You may not hear from me for a while, but keep an audio tuned because I won't be resting. I will return. And when I return, it will be to free this entire city from the minelords. to topple the rich from their thrones and give equally to all mecha—rights, freedom, and wealth."

There was some cheering, but not as much as I might have expected. There was a little unease as well.

Megatronus seemed unperturbed by the less-than-enthusiastic response. "I know," he said. "You don't _really_ want me to stop this." He gestured to the unconscious mech on the ground. "Some of you are with me, and some not so much. That's all right—I don't need your permission to go. I called you my mecha, but I don't really own you. And, as of this orn, no one owns me either. Farewell. For now." Megatronus casually turned toward the guards. His blade slid out of his arm. I saw the two mechs at the door tense as he walked toward them, raising their energon prods. I could see they didn't think they had a chance. I detonated the bombs we had planted by the generators and the field flickered and went down.

I commed Perceptor. _"Here are the coordinates. Now."_

A groundbridge opened up right in front of Megatronus, just as the guards realized the shield was down. We had only needed it gone for a few astroseconds.

The crowd barely had time to gasp before Megatronus stepped through and the bridge closed.

Then a wave of noise—cheering, shouting, excited talking—spread across the entire arena. Guards rushed in, but there was nothing for them to do. Megatronus was already gone, and since Red Alert had upgraded our groundbridge shielding, they wouldn't be able to track it back to Perceptor's house.

I stood and moved quickly through the crowd. In a few breems I was out in the city in an empty alley. I commed Perceptor again. _"Okay, Here are my coordinates."_

" _Thank you,"_ Perceptor sent back, and a groundbridge opened up in front of me. I stepped through, into Perceptor's basement.

Perceptor shut the bridge down with a sigh. "Thank you," he said. "I'm sorry we sent you there again."

"I'm fine," I told him, glancing over into the corner, where Megatronus was standing, looking around, curious about all of the bulky odds and ends Perceptor had in his basement. We were going to have a meeting the next orn with everyone there, but we had tried to keep the specific details of when and how we were bringing Megatronus to Iacon quiet so there wasn't much of a welcoming committee.

He nodded once in my direction. _There's Soundwave again. He's in Orion's inner circle, I think. They seem to put a lot of trust in him._

They did indeed. It was a good thing I was trustworthy. I felt a twinge of guilt, but pushed it aside. There were more important things at the moment to do than think about what I had or hadn't told them about Megatronus.

"Come," I said to him, then led the way up and out of the basement.

"Hi!" Frenzy said. "You're Megatronus, right?"

Megatronus nodded. "Yes."

"That's awesome," Frenzy said. "I'm Frenzy, and my brother is Rumble, and the cat is Ravage and Laserbeak's still in Soundwave's room, and our owner is Soundwave. I think someone said you're the best gladiator in all of Kaon. Is that true? Are you?"

"Not anymore," Megatronus said.

I dropped my symbionts off at my room, though Frenzy wanted to keep talking to Megatronus.

Megatronus was injured, but that didn't seem to be bothering him. I messaged Ratchet anyway and told him to come after he was finished with class.

Then I started showing Megatronus around the house and explaining the way things were run. He listened carefully and only had a few questions for me. As before, he didn't think much about my stutter, other than to consider the logistic problems with it.

He was nearly as anxious to meet Orion as Orion was to finally meet him. I assured him that as soon as Orion was done with work, he would come. Kaon was on the other side of the planet as well as near the opposite pole, so it had been morning there, but was evening here.

I showed Megatronus the room he would be staying in. We'd given him the largest free room. I didn't bother making excuses about the fact that it wasn't well-furnished. He was used to that sort of thing.

Then we went back out into the front room and sat at the table.

Megatronus fingered a cracked arm plate. _Maybe I should go back to my room and tend to my injuries._

"We have a medic coming," I said.

"For this?" Megatronus asked, looking down at himself. "It's fine, it'll heal on its own." _They leave you alone about small things like this unless you've got another match coming up soon._ I didn't miss his slight nervousness. He didn't like or trust medics very much.

"We have a medic coming," I repeated firmly.

Megatronus smirked. "Very well." He looked around the clean, spacious room. _This is so different from anything I've experienced. And no doubt I'm different from anything_ they _have. Pit, I can't believe I'm actually out of there. I almost didn't believe it was possible. I'll go back, though. I'll go back and face them._ "So," Megatronus said. "I have no doubt the mecha who owned me will want me back, to kill me and make an example if nothing else. I assume you have a plan to deal with that?"

I nodded. Of course I did. "This place is a-a secret," I said. "You will sometimes have to go out into the city, but no one can know that you're living here in this building."

Megatronus nodded.

"And if it comes down to it, we _do_ have the groundbridge, so we can evacuate if they find us. For the-e most part, y-you should be safe."

Megatronus nodded. "Thank you… what if you decide you don't want a gladiator helping you with Autobot?"

"Don't worry about that," I said. "We nee-eed you." There were a few who were still hesitant to accept the idea of bringing him here, but they would come to understand why it was important. I had complete faith in Searchlight.

"I hope I can be of some use to you," Megatronus said. "But what if I can't? Hypothetically."

"Well we-e won't send you back to the gladiator pits," I said. I couldn't make any promises past that, but I would personally make sure he didn't end up back there.

He relaxed a little. That was good enough for him. We waited for about twenty more breems before Orion came, bringing Elita and Ratchet with him.

He stopped in the doorway of the front room and Megatronus saw him and stood. Orion left Elita's side to rush over and greet the gladiator. "Megatronus,"

They shook hands.

"Orion, it's good to meet you, finally," _I had imagined him a lot smaller. But no, this is him. There's something distinctly Orion about him._

Orion nodded. _I'd seen images of him, but they don't do him justice. Primus, he's covered in energon._ "You're injured!"

"Not badly," Megatronus said and took a step back. "And you should see my opponent."

Ratchet, at the word injured, stopped scowling at the wall and ignoring everyone, and turned to actually look at Megatronus. I waited, anticipating.

But he didn't recognize him as Searchlight.

"Sit down," he said, pushing past Orion and glaring at Megatronus. "By the Allspark, what did you _do?_ "

Megatronus glanced at me. _I see. This is the medic then._

"Oh, Megatronus, this is Ratchet," Orion said. "He's uh, training to be a medic. Do you mind if he…"

"Out of my way," Ratchet growled at Orion, then pushed Megatronus. "Sit down."

Megatronus tensed and grabbed Ratchet's arm instinctively.

"Hey!" Ratchet yanked himself free. "I said sit down you big hunk of scrap, you're leaking all over the place."

"Ratchet, don't," Orion said.

"He's fine," Megatronus sat down. _You just have to deal with medics once in a while._

Ratchet started working on Megatronus's arm. Megatronus watched him for a moment with a frown on his faceplate. _That's interesting… for all his gruffness, he's being surprisingly gentle. I can barely even feel what he's doing._ He looked back up at Orion.

"In any case…" he said.

"Oh, yes," Orion said. "Sorry, I… It's wonderful to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine," Megatronus said, refusing to flinch as Ratchet finally prodded his arm in a way that hurt. "I'm interested to discuss your plans for this organization. I want to be able to help as much and as soon as possible."

Ratchet didn't recognize him. He didn't even think about it. He didn't even think Megatronus was anything _like_ Searchlight.

Was I just crazy? No… it was Searchlight's faceplate, his too-familiar mind. He had even lost his memories around the same time that Searchlight had supposedly died. It was too much of a coincidence.

But Ratchet somehow couldn’t see it. My spark sank. I had been waiting for this so I didn't have to tell anyone. But now I wasn't even entirely sure myself. I flared my range a little, even though everyone I wanted to listen to was already in it. I _knew_ Megatronus was Searchlight.

He and Orion talked about plans for a little while, but before too long, it devolved into Megatronus asking Orion about history.

I realized that Megatronus had lost all of his education as well as his memory, and he didn't even know basic historical facts. He listened intently while Orion talked about the Quintesson wars and Ratchet worked on his injuries.

Elita left after a while, and so did Ratchet once he was satisfied Megatronus was all right. Orion and Megatronus went to talk in the meeting room, where they stayed late into the off-cycle. I went back to my room, frustration and misery returning. Now that Ratchet had proven blind, what was I supposed to do? My refusal to tell anyone would seem so childish, and I still didn't think Megatronus would believe me. And what if I _was_ wrong? What if, by some strange chance, I had _thought_ Megatronus was Searchlight, and the timing lined up with his missing memories by coincidence.

Right. And perhaps the predacons were still around.

But then what could we do? There was no way to get his memories back. And trying to explain who he had been would make things more complicated and confusing for everyone. Perhaps it was better if they didn't know. Perhaps it was better if no one knew. Perhaps it would have been better if _I_ hadn't realized it or recognized him.


	71. Looking Forward

Megatronus and Orion were very good friends. I knew it was inevitable and that it made sense and that the two of them would _always_ have been friends. But it hurt anyway, and it didn't make me like Orion any better. I tried not to be bitter, but Searchlight had been _my_ best friend. Part of me had assumed that would continue, even though he couldn't remember me. Or, at least that he wouldn't make any _new_ best friends. It was utterly childish to be upset about it, and I knew that, so I hid it.

I was good at hiding things.

Not to say that Megatronus and I didn't get along. In fact, he had an unusual amount of respect for me and my role in our organization. He also seemed to understand, as he always had, what my silence meant.

We weren't quite friends, though. Not the way he and Orion were friends, or the way we had been friends before.

Megatronus decided to start calling himself Megatron instead, because of all the negative historical context surrounding his former designation. Some of the other mecha in Autobot were surprised that he would pick something so similar, but he had never been that creative about naming things. It wasn't like we wanted to hide who he was anyway, and it was pointless to try. His disappearance from Kaon was _all_ over the news. No one could stop talking about it or wondering where he had gone.

Just a few decaorns after we'd broken Megatronus out, Autobot organized its first public meeting. It wasn't a secret, so we were sure the Council would send spies to watch us—if not enforcement to arrest us—but we were determined to go forward with it anyway. I'd keep track of the crowd and warn everyone to leave if I thought we were going to get in trouble. Orion, Perceptor, and Ratchet had all taken me aside and told me that I didn't need to expand my range over the whole crowd—or in Ratchet's case that I had better _not_ , but I had already decided.

On the orn of the event, Perceptor stayed home. He wanted to come, but we didn't want to give any indication that he was affiliated with Autobot. There were already rumors, and we most certainly didn't want to encourage them.

Orion, on the other hand, was going to make it publicly known that he was involved.

We were also going to introduce "Megatron". He was excited about it. It had been a while since he'd done anything dangerous or given any speeches, and he'd been feeling restless. His barely-contained anticipation reminded me of the countless times he'd planned parties and presentations and adventures back in secondary school.

* * *

Orion, Megatronus and I sneaked out of Perceptor's house as soon as the sky dome shut off and made our way through the lower levels of the city. Orion lamented the fact that we couldn’t show Megatronus the main streets, but Megatronus was awed just by how clean and open everything was down here. As we walked we started to amass a small crowd of mecha from Autobot. Most of them had met Megatronus over the past few decaorns. He remembered all their designations, and greeted each of them as a friend, though he was wary on the inside. He didn't trust any of us entirely—not even Orion.

A few other mecha who weren't in Autobot saw us and wondered where we were going, but only one pair, a young bonded couple, recognized Megatronus. They came over, fairly harmless and excited to meet the escaped gladiator. They walked with us, asking questions for a few breems, before someone invited them to the meeting.

I was glad Red Alert hadn't come along. He, of course, was opposed to the whole event, but he couldn't talk anyone out of it. I had tried to avoid him over the past few orns. He had been the opposite of the others, hunting me down to lecture me about how I _had_ to be sure to signal everyone to get out if necessary, and I _had_ to keep my range large enough to hear the whole neighborhood we were in, not just the crowd.

We arrived at the meeting place—a large underground cavern with a stage. Mecha were already gathering.

Orion led the way to the little anteroom behind the stage. "Okay," he said once we were crowded inside. "Soundwave's in charge of letting everyone know what's going on. Does he have everyone's comm. code? We can't do this on a public frequency."

I nodded. I had everything I needed from them.

"Okay, then," Orion said. "We start in five breems. I'll go talk first. The rest of you go out into the audience. Keep your optics out for government mecha and comm. Soundwave if you see something suspicious. If need be, we'll cut the meeting short and get out quickly, in which case, can all of you please leave with the rest of the crowd? We don't want to have to bring a lot of mecha through the bridge."

They nodded. They all knew the plan already.

"Okay Megatronus—sorry, Megatron, you wait in the back until Soundwave gives you the signal to come out.

Megatronus nodded. _Soundwave will run this, Soundwave will signal that, ask Soundwave if you have questions. If they lose this mech, no one's going to know what the pit they're doing._

"Good," Orion said with a smile. "Let's go show the world we're serious about this. And Megatronus—sorry, Megatron…"

"Orion, you can call me Megatronus if you like."

"Okay," Orion said. "Sorry… um…. I don't remember what I was going to say."

Megatronus waved it off. "That's all right. Whatever it was, I'm sure it wasn't life-threateningly important."

"Yeah," Orion agreed. "I talk too much, don't I?"

Megatronus shook his helm.

"In any case," Orion said, "You can all disperse now. I'll see you afterward if everything goes well."

The others all went out into the audience while Orion and I went backstage with Megatronus.

"Well," Orion said, "I'd better go."

I braced myself and expanded my range so I could hear the crowd. It took me a breem or two to pick out the government agents. They weren't here to do anything, fortunately, just to assess how much of a threat we were. I relaxed and pulled my range back before I was entirely overwhelmed. It had been a long time since I'd had so many processors in mine, and it was already starting to hurt. I had thought I would be fine, but we had a better turnout than we'd anticipated.

Megatronus sat still but on the inside he was restless. He was glad to be out doing something instead of hiding in Perceptor's house, but he was a little worried about speaking. He'd only met a handful of Iaconians and wasn't sure what he wanted to say to us, what we needed, or how to reach us. I was sure he would be fine though. Orion would probably do most of the talking anyway, and while Searchlight had never been one for long speeches, everyone always listened to him.

I expanded my range again, bracing myself against the pain, and listened to Orion introduce himself and Autobot's goals. Megatronus sighed and shuttered his optics, thoughts drifting back to his time in the mines. For once, I wished I couldn't pick out his processor so easily. I pulled my range back after a few breems and considered cutting him out as well.

He'd spent more than half a vorn in the mines, making friends and then watching them die, struggling to survive from orn to orn, starved, beaten…

Primus, Searchlight, I'm so sorry…

I couldn't listen any longer.

"Megatronus."

He looked at me, memories fading back to the depths of his subconscious.

"There's… something you should know."

He nodded, signaling me to go on, but I hesitated, second-guessing my decision.

_Just spit it out, Soundwave._

"I can read minds."

 _Oh._ He looked at me for a moment. _What?_

"I can hear your thoughts."

He frowned and I braced myself for the sudden fear, doubt, and disbelief. Of course, I should have known better. Some things hadn't changed.

 _That makes sense,_ Megatronus thought. _It would explain why he's the one they sent to determine if I was trustworthy. That would be a very useful ability to have._

I could even control it now.

 _Why did you wait until now to tell me this? I suppose you weren't sure you could trust me... And you heard me thinking about the mines a moment ago._ "You heard, then."

I nodded.

"What did you think?" The corner of his mouth turned up in a rueful smile, and his posture dared me to say something. To say anything.

He could still feel it, everything they'd done to him.

It was my fault.

"Things must change," I said quietly. "Things like that can't be allo-owed to happen."

Megatronus frowned. _That's more emotion from him than I've heard before, more than my little pity party merited…_ he looked down. _But I understand._ "They did something to you too. Didn't they?" _They hurt you too… did they take your face away? Your voice?_

"My best friend," I said. "The-ey..."

_Ah. I see. Then we can understand one another._

"Dead?" he asked.

I nodded.

"How?"

I looked down. "He stood up to the Council."

"Ah," Megatronus said. "That living scrapyard."

I nodded again.

"I'm sorry, for what that's worth." _I've lost mecha too. I know what it's like._ _Nothing helps, does it?_

We sat in silence for a few moments.

"Soundwave?"

"No. Nothing."

He bowed his helm. "We can't bring them back. But we can avenge them. Orion and his pretty words are one thing, but when it comes down to it, our task is to bring justice."

I almost told him.

Then once again, I realized I couldn't.

He didn't need more to think about. He didn't need me to be his long-lost childhood friend. He didn't need someone else to protect. He needed me where he'd always needed me, where I had always failed to be.

"You're right," I said.

 _So he knew,_ Megatronus thought. _He knew all along that I didn't quite agree with Orion's perfect little ideals. That mech is amazing, but he hasn't seen the kind of hardship that opens your optics to reality. The Council's not going to lie down and let him change things. We'll have to force them. And you, Soundwave, understand that, don't you?_

I nodded.

"Good," Megatronus said. "You can back me up when the time comes."

I nodded again, and expanded my range a little more, just in time to catch Orion signaling me to tell Megatronus to go out. I passed on the message, then expanded to cover the whole crowd again. I left my range as large as I could stand after that.

A wave of excitement washed through the crowd as Megatronus stepped onto the stage, followed by a low murmur as mecha turned to their neighbors. "Is that really Megatronus?" "Did you know he was going to be here?"

I sat and listened.

Orion introduced him as Megatron, which left no doubt in anyone's processor who he really was. The fact that he was working with Autobot would give us a lot of credibility. Not only did it mean that we had a globally famous mech helping us, it also meant we practiced what we preached. We had rescued Megatronus from slavery. We were serious about this. We weren't just saying we wanted change, we were taking steps.

Several of the government spies in the audience decided we were going to be an actual threat. One of them thought she might want to join us. Something Orion had said had really reached her.

Good old Orion. If only he wasn't so cautious and pacifistic. That was why we needed Megatronus—Megatron—Searchlight.

That was why we needed Searchlight.

* * *

We wanted to go before the Council as soon as possible, but we knew we needed enough of a following before we did so. We needed the consequences of refusing to meet with us to be worse for them than the consequences of meeting and negotiating with us. Word spread that Megatronus was in Iacon, and the government was looking for us, but between Red Alert and me, they were going to have a hard time catching us, even if they figured out we were based in Perceptor's house.

They tried putting trackers on us, following us back from events, and various other tactics, but so long as they had to get a living mech close to us to catch us, they weren't going to make any headway. We asked our mecha who weren't in the inner circle to work from their own homes and report in less often so we could cut down on the traffic through the secret passage. Until we could come completely out in the open, we needed to be careful. This period of time—when we were just starting to get our footing—was the most dangerous because if the Council caught us, there would be no consequences for them.

We still had mecha now and then who came to the front door to ask if they could join Autobot, but we started turning them all away because we didn't want too many mecha to know where we were.

One orn, I was in the meeting room, working on one of the computers. They had all but given up on taking down Autobot's files on the public database, but every once in a while I still needed to do some maintenance on them.

The door alarm went off and I expanded my range, just in case it was important.

I froze. It was Breeze.

I hadn't seen her for _ages._ Had she just come to visit or was she here with a purpose? I couldn't tell from her current thoughts.

I shut down what I was working on and walked over to Red Alert's office to warn him. School was in session, but he didn't have class at the moment, so he was here, and he would probably freak out if I went to let Breeze in without explaining myself.

"I'm getting the door," I said. "The femme out there i-is an old friend."

Red Alert narrowed his optics. "Fine," he said grudgingly. _I suppose I can't question Soundwave's judgment, only his loyalty._

My loyalty? Really?

I turned and walked away. Breeze was just starting to wonder if anyone was home when I opened the door.

"Oh," she said, "Soundwave, I'm so glad I got the right house."

"Come in," I said.

She followed me in and to the front room and I was relieved to find that she'd just come to visit. She had already stopped by Keepsake and Cam's house.

"So," she said. "I met Blaster."

"How is he-e doing?"

She smiled as she sat down at the table. "He's doing very well. Taking him to them was a brilliant idea."

I shrugged and sat across from her. "How are they?"

Searchlight. Searchlight was in this house. I looked down.

"They're happier too. Like I said, it was brilliant… Soundwave, are you all right?"

I hesitated, then nodded, wondering if she'd see through the lie.

She was suspicious, but decided to let that topic slide for the moment and lead up to it with more innocent questions.

I shook my helm. "That's not going to work. I ca-an hear you."

She smiled, faceplate heating up a little. "Oops. I still forget sometimes."

"Lucky you."

"Oh, come on," she said. "You can control your range now. I thought that was better."

"It’s worlds better,” I told her.

"Good," she said. "So… Primus, it's been almost a vorn. How have you been? What’s happened since the last time we talked?"

I had recently found out that my best friend—her fiancé—who had died two vorns ago was… well, was Megatronus. How had I been? What should I tell her?

"Busy," I said after thinking for a few astroseconds.

"Busy? Are you done with school, or still taking classes?" _Surely he should have graduated by now… but he didn't tell me he was graduating_ …

"I graduated," I said. "I'm sorry… There were reasons I didn't invite you…"

"It's okay," Breeze said.

But her feelings were hurt. She couldn't hide it from me.

"I almost didn't get to graduate," I said. "I… had to sneak in. It's a long story."

"Well, I have all orn," Breeze said. "First, though, I want to ask you something. You had a friend named Orion, didn't you?"

I nodded.

"There's supposedly this mech who's running a rebellion…"

"Same Orion," I said.

She reached across the table and put a hand on my arm. _Are you helping him?_

I nodded.

"Soundwave, you…" _You're in danger. Primus, why would you do something like that?_ "You could have told me."

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't want to get you involved if I-I didn't have to, and we we-ere trying to keep it secret."

Breeze shook her helm. _Stop. Don't apologize._

"You wanted an a-apology."

"I know," Breeze frowned at me, then sighed. "That's not really what I would expect of you—joining a rebellion… Searchlight would do something like that… oh, Soundwave, are the rumors that you're the ones who helped Megatronus escape… but then you would have needed a…"

"Groundbrige?" I supplied.

"Oh…" she said. "Shockwave and Wheeljack _did_ dismantle theirs, didn't they?"

I shook my helm.

"Primus…" Breeze removed her hand from my arm. "You…" Worry warred with amusement and nostalgia in her spark. _Something Searchlight would have done, the way they broke Megatronus out was so dramatic..._

Well, it had technically been Searchlight's idea. "Breeze?"

"Yes?"

"Did y-you ever hear him speak?"

"Megatronus? Yes, I did." _I watched a video. Something about him bothered me… not in a bad way, just… the idea of all those mecha in the mines and the gladiator pits… I didn't finish watching._ "You've met him, right? Megatronus… is he _here?_ "

I didn't speak. I had no idea what to tell her. I didn't want to speak the truth and then listen to her go through what I had gone through—what I was still going through.

"Soundwave?" she asked.

"He doesn't…" I said. "Reme-ember."

"What?" Breeze said. _Who doesn't remember what? What do you mean?_

Suddenly, Megatronus was in my range. I looked up just as he entered the room.

"Soundwave," he said. "Do you know where…" He trailed off, noticing that I had someone unfamiliar in the room. He had been looking for Orion.

Breeze stared at him, horrified. _He doesn't remember… Megatronus doesn't remember… Primus, he looks like Searchlight…_

"Uh…" Megatronus said. "Sorry."

"This is Breeze," I said quickly. "A friend of mine from secondary school. She's safe."

Megatronus nodded, then came over to the table and held out his hand. "It's good to meet you. I'm Megatronus."

She just stared.

_Are you sure she's safe? She doesn't seem too happy to see me._

I nodded.

Megatronus pulled his hand back before Breeze recovered enough to take it. _I don't have time for this._

_That's his faceplate. Searchlight's faceplate…. He doesn't remember…_

"Soundwave, have you seen Orion? He was supposed to be here half a joor ago." _I'm getting worried about him._

I shook my helm. That _was_ worrying. If Orion said he was going to be somewhere at a certain time, he usually showed up.

"I believe he was walking across the city by himself," Megatronus said.

I sighed and stood. "Not good."

"We need to find him." _But if I go out there, I'll probably just get arrested._

I nodded, and started the process of letting everyone know that Orion was missing and to tell me if they knew where he was or whether they'd seen him. "I'll find him," I said, then walked past the table. "Breeze?"

She got up and followed me to the front entrance. Megatronus sat at the table, drumming his silvery, claw-like fingers on it.

"It's not." Breeze gripped my arm as we neared the front door.

"It is," I said. "I need to go. I can explain when I get back. I haven't told anyone, and Ratchet didn't recognize him. I…"

Breeze shook her helm.

"You can wait here," I said. "I'll explain when I come back."

"But," Breeze said. "I can't…"

"I have to go," I said. "I'll be back." This was horrible timing, but if Orion had been arrested, I needed to act now. I commed Ravage and told him to come out and lead Breeze to my room to wait if she wanted to wait there. Then I walked out the door and transformed. Responses started coming back. I got an annoyingly large number of questions about whether I'd found him yet, or what was going on. I ignored those for the present and focused on the messages with actual information on them as I expanded my range and flew low over the city. He had gone to work—Alpha Trion said—and had left half a joor ago. I changed directions and flew to the energon treat stand he always went to. I landed and walked over to the mech sitting behind the counter.

"Hello," he said, with unusual undertones of hostility.

"Have you seen Orion?"

"No," the mech said, but he was lying. He had seen Orion and refused to sell him anything, then had commed the enforcers to come and arrest him.

Perfect. Well, at least I knew now.

"Thank you," I said, and transformed and flew off. I put some distance between us in case he decided to call the cops on me as well.

Then I circled around and followed the path I assumed Orion would have taken. When the one stand was closed, he usually went to a nearby one. I didn't land there, though. Instead I went past that and touched down where he usually started collecting his horde, calculating in the time it ought to have taken the enforcers to get here and find him.

I didn't have to walk far before I was approached by a small, anxious crowd of sparklings and younglings.

"Soundwave," One of them said. "Is Orion okay?"

I waved them over, walking to meet them. "What happened?" I asked.

They all answered at once, but it was their memories I really wanted. Orion had been apprehended by the enforcers. He had gone quietly, so it didn't seem he'd been injured. They had most likely taken him to the nearest detention center.

Without thanking the sparklings, I took off again. I commed Alpha Trion to let him know what was happening—he was honestly our best hope for getting Orion out of whatever trouble he was in. And since Alpha Trion actually seemed to care about his assistant, maybe he'd come _quickly_ for once.

I landed in front of the detention center with my range extended enough to cover the whole building. After a few moments, I pulled my range back, sorely regretting that decision. I had to spend half a breem recovering before contacting Alpha Trion again to confirm that Orion was there. He was still in the building. In fact, he wasn't even in a cell yet. He had decided to stall as long as he could in the hopes that I would come find him. He was insisting on following the correct procedure of the law, under which they either needed a direct, written command from a senator, or an actual, documented and witnessed crime in order to lock someone up in a cell. They were having trouble getting either thing. They weren't even sure they'd arrested the right mech anymore.

Alpha Trion showed up ten breems later and nodded once in my direction before going inside.

He came back out with Orion, and I joined them as they walked toward the nearest access to the lower streets.

"Orion Pax," Alpha Trion said. "I cannot believe the depths of your foolishness."

Orion looked down.

His mentor sighed. "I really can’t believe this. That was careless, mechling. You know that vendor supports the Council, and yet…"

"I'm sorry," Orion said. "I didn't think he'd send for the enforcers."

"No, I'm sure you didn't. What in the name of the Great Nebula are we going to do with you?"

Orion shrugged. "I won't buy from him again."

"You won't buy at all again," Alpha Trion said. "Or go tromping around up here," he waved at the streets around them, "At least not all by yourself."

They started down the stairs to the lower levels and I followed.

"But I can't ask someone to come with me everywhere," Orion said. "That's ridiculous." _I'm not really that important. I'm surprised they bothered to arrest me._

"Well, then, you have a choice, don't you?" Alpha Trion said. "Get arrested, imprisoned, and probably executed, or stop wandering the city."

"I don't have the credit to take a transport all the time," Orion said. _And what about Elita? I have to walk to get to her apartment sometimes. Home, work, Perceptor's house, sometimes Elita's apartment, then home again. Of course… I shouldn't walk Elita home if I'm going to be putting her in danger because of it. I didn't think about that._

"You know, I've been meaning to talk to you about that," Alpha Trion said. "You're trying to do too much. You need to make a decision about what's more important to you. The archives, or this glitch-helmed rebellion of yours."

"What?" Orion said, optics widening.

"I think I know what the answer is," Alpha Trion said.

Orion stared at him. _Is he suggesting that I leave the Hall of Records?_

"And it's _all right,_ Orion," Alpha Trion continued, putting a hand on Orion's shoulder and stopping him.

"But…" Orion said. "But… I _can't_ quit the hall of Records."

"There you go again," Alpha Trion said. "Can't ask someone to go with you, can't quit your job. You technically _can_ do these things, and you _must._ "

"I thought you disapproved of Autobot."

"I do," Alpha Trion said. "Believe me, and I especially disapprove of that gladiator. Be wary of him." Alpha Trion glanced at me. "I do not think that he is all that you believe him to be."

"Then…" Orion said.

"Then nothing," Alpha Trion said. "I'm starting to think that this is something you need to do. You cannot be an archivist forever. It may be better to stop now, especially if it means you're not wandering the city alone."

Orion looked down and we continued walking.

_He sometimes makes me think he knows Primus has a plan for me, some destiny, something I'm supposed to do… but I don't want it. I want to be an archivist forever—to learn history and literature and decryption and organize things. I don't need anything else._

Well, he was a little too far in for that kind of thinking. He was already running a rebellion.

"I won't fire you, nor will I try to make this choice for you."

"If I have to choose between the two," Orion said. "As an archivist, I can help someone find the right book, but Autobot is trying to give all Cybertronians the basic rights they deserve… I don't suppose I really have a choice."

"Yes you do," Alpha Trion said. "Just because there's a right and a wrong decision, doesn't mean it's not a decision. You can always choose wrong." He stopped walking again. "And I have a Council meeting I need to attend. I think you can get to Perceptor's from here. Soundwave, make sure he doesn't take any detours."

I nodded, and Alpha Trion transformed and drove away.

Orion and I walked the rest of the way to Perceptor's house.

"I'm sorry for worrying you," Orion said. "I figured you'd realize eventually and come find me. You were pretty fast."

He hadn't even started worrying—not for his own safety at least. We needed to keep better track of him or we were going to lose him.

I didn't realize until we were already in the secret passageway that I hadn't told anyone Orion was all right. I sent a message to everyone then—excluding Alpha Trion because I didn't want to bother him.

There was a bit of a crowd in the front room. Elita was there, sitting at the table, and Breeze had apparently decided not to wait in my room. Megatronus sat in the corner by himself, and there were several other mecha as well.

Elita got up and rushed over to Orion. "Thank the Allspark you're all right," she threw her arms around him.

Orion looked down at her, surprised. She let him go and took a step back. "Are you hurt?" she demanded.

"No, I'm fine… Of course I'm all right. Were you worried?"

"I didn't know," Elita whispered, stepping forward to embrace him again "I didn't _know_ you were all right, I thought something might have happened to you."

He put a protective arm around her and led her back to the table. _I need to talk to her some time. Maybe next time I walk her home... except I'd be putting her in danger._ "Well, I'm fine, I promise," _Soundwave, can you let everyone else know I'm all right, if you think any of them might be wondering?_

I nodded. Already done.

Breeze looked at me. _Soundwave, can I talk to you?_

I nodded again, and walked away. She followed me, just in time for Ratchet to burst into the room and start demanding to know if Orion was all right. Breeze noticed him and hesitated, but then followed after me without speaking to him. I decided not to go to my room, because Ravage and the others didn't know about Searchlight. Instead, I took her to an empty room. Red Alert had cameras in here, but he didn't have any microphones.

"That's Searchlight," Breeze said.

I nodded.

"Searchlight. Is Megatronus."

I nodded again.

"And you haven't told anyone?"

Nope.

"And Ratchet didn't recognize him."

I shook my helm.

"And Megatronus… is Searchlight."

I looked down.

Breeze pressed trembling hands to her faceplate, shuttering her optics. "And he can't… remember?"

I didn't say anything.

"How?"

"I think instead of killing him, they wiped his memo-ories and sent him to the mines."

Breeze's doorwings trembled. "How much did they wipe? Do you know?"

"He didn't even ha-ave language at first."

 _Primus, if they went as far as his language files, there's no way to get his memories back, even if we could find a copy of them. He wouldn't be able to integrate them correctly. Primus, he was in the mines, the_ mines. "Soundwave…"

I held my arms out and she stepped into my embrace, trembling. "He's gone, isn't he?” she sobbed. “He's still gone. It's like losing him again, but worse because he's sitting out there alive, but…. It's _worse._ They didn't just kill him, they _hurt_ him and all that time he was fighting for his life and we didn't know."

I held her silently as she cried, until she calmed down and pushed away from me again.

"I don't even want to know what he's been through," she said quietly. "I don't want to _think_ about it… Primus…"

"You talked to him."

"Yes, while you were gone," Breeze said. "I did. A little. I had to see…" _It's still him, but it's not. I can't believe this is happening. It's… How many times have I_ wished _this could happen and… this is impossible._

I nodded and pulled over a chair for her to sit on and she did so, doorwings twitching, trying to decide how to feel. I stood beside her and waited. I had gone through this already. I had no desire to experience it again, even vicariously, but I didn't want her to be alone.

"I wasn't going to tell you."

"You were just going to keep this to yourself? Not even tell… Not even tell Searchlight?"

"I don't want to complicate things for him. Telling mecha doesn't help."

"Surely he'd want to know about his lost memories. He doesn't know who he is."

I looked down.

"Don't you think it bothers him? I suppose you would know if it did."

"Maybe we should ask him," I said. "I told him I could read minds."

Breeze's doorwings shot up. "You did?" _you trust him?_

Of course I trusted him—he was Searchlight.

"But he's different now, isn't he?"

"He's Searchlight," I said quietly. How could I not trust him? He was my best friend, my first real friend other than Ravage, my _only_ real, real friend.

 _Oh, Soundwave…_ Breeze got up and hugged me again. _I'm sorry. You're going through the same thing I am, aren't you?_

"He wouldn't trust me anymore," I said. "If I told him, then he would know I kept it back. He wouldn't trust me."

"We could find a way to prove it's him," Breeze said. "We could tell him there's a way to find out who he is. They _can_ do that, you know, detect your spark signature and match it to a public database."

I nodded.

"We should talk to him about it." Breeze said. "Tell him that's an option… just… give me a few breems first. I don't think I can face him right now."

I nodded and we waited for nearly twenty breems before she was ready. By then, Ratchet had stopped fussing, and Orion was talking to Chromia about how he was planning to quit his job. Chromia didn't seem too pleased, but she was in a generally bad mood anyway this orn, because she'd just had an argument with Ironhide.

They all looked up when we came in.

"Megatronus," I said, "Can we talk to you?"

He hesitated, then nodded and came with us out of the room. Everyone else was curious, but Chromia quickly drew Orion back into their conversation so she could berate him for quitting his job some more. Megatronus followed us out of the room and to the one we had just been talking in. Something about the situation was putting him on edge, but he wasn't sure what.

"Megatronus," Breeze said calmly, "Soundwave says you've lost some of your memories."

Megatronus stiffened, glancing at me. _I didn't say you could tell anyone that._

Breeze took a deep breath. "I don't think you could get your memories back… it's likely they were permanently erased. But there is a chance you could find out who you were."

Megatronus blinked.

"If you wanted to," Breeze said. "Sorry, I should have said, I'm a psychologist. I do know these things."

"Ah," Megatronus said. _Hmm…_

I looked down as I listened to him consider this new possibility, and come to a decision.

"You can think about it for a while," Breeze said. _Primus, it's him. I still can't believe it._

"No," Megatronus said. "Thank you for offering. For a long time I did wonder about who I had been before, but I've decided that it’s irrelevant. I might not know who I was before, but I know who I am now, and that’s all that matters."

"Okay," Breeze said quietly.

 _This bothers her,_ Megatronus realized. _Something about this whole conversation is wrong._

_I can't believe he doesn't even want to know. I can't do this…_

"Was there anything else?"

"No," Breeze said. "And I need to go. I'm sorry. Soundwave, tell Ratchet I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to him." She turned and practically ran from the room, leaving Megatronus and I alone. I listened as she left the house.

Megatronus stood where he was, frowning.

I walked past him toward the door.

"Soundwave."

I stopped in the doorway.

"What was that about?" He didn't need to clarify. He knew I understood his question. I hesitated.

"I need to know." _Why are they so keen to find out who I was before?_

If I told him he wouldn't trust me. If I didn't tell him, he wouldn't trust me.

Well, I didn't have an option at this point. "I knew you," I said.

He froze. _He knew me..._ "Before?"

I nodded.

Megatronus took the seat that Breeze had been sitting in. "Well… some things make more sense now." _He was so supportive of bringing me here. I understand why now. And that femme…_ "She knew me too."

I nodded.

"Who else?"

"Ratchet," I said. "But he doesn't recognize you. Perceptor met you once, but he-e didn't know you."

"Orion?"

"No."

Megatronus nodded, thinking. "Have you… told anyone?"

I shook my helm.

He took a deep vent and tried to decide whether or not to ask me who he had been. At length, he came to a decision.

"I would prefer," he said, "If you continued to keep it a secret."

I nodded.

"I understand now why you had to tell her about my missing memories," Megatronus said. "I forgive you."

Good. I had been worried about that.

"Please don't bring this up to me again," Megatronus said.

I nodded again, though it felt like he'd run me through with his blade.

"It's useless to dwell in the past. Whoever I was, I'm not that mech anymore."

He was wrong.

"That said, I still intend to help you receive justice for the mecha you've lost. So long as you'll stand with me."

I inclined my helm.

"Thank you," he said with an almost Searchlight-like smile, and stood. "I really can count on you, can't I?" _He knew me before. We must have been friends. I had his loyalty before I even met him. I wonder… he must have thought I was dead. He may have been right, in a way. His friend is still gone._

No. He was wrong. Searchlight wasn't gone. You couldn't change the rhythm of someone's spark.

He walked past me out of the room and nearly ran into Orion, who'd just stepped into the doorway.

"Oh," Orion said. "Hi… is everything all right?"

"Just talking security," Megatronus said. "We're done, we'll get out of your way."

We vacated the room and Orion and Elita went in to talk. I shrank my range as I went back to the work I'd been doing before Breeze had shown up.


	72. Allies

Our following grew. Orion's reasonable proposals and Megatronus's unfaltering determination worked well together. I didn't speak to Megatronus again about his past, and I didn't talk to anyone else about it either, though I did send a brief message to Breeze explaining that we had discussed it, and that he still wasn't interested in finding out who he'd been before.

Ratchet still didn't recognize him. In fact, Ratchet avoided him for the most part, determining to side with Perceptor and Ironhide and the others who disapproved of bringing the former gladiator in.

Megatronus grew to confide in me because I could read his mind anyway. We weren't exactly friends, the way he and Orion were friends, or the way he and I had been before he'd lost his memories, but it was something.

He didn't like being cooped up in Perceptor's house. A part of him missed the gladiator fights, if only because he'd had ways to release his pent-up energy there. Here, he couldn't leave the building for fear of being caught by enforcement, and he didn't have much to do in the time between public meetings. And it didn't help that a few of the mecha in Autobot really annoyed him. He started to worry that he would explode and break something or hurt someone.

Once, not too long after he'd joined us, he was feeling particularly restless. I waited until he was alone, then approached him. He acknowledged my arrival with a small nod and a muttered greeting.

I got to the point. "Do you want to spar?"

He looked up. "With who?"

I shrugged. "Me."

He snorted. "Are you sure? I doubt it would be a lot of fun for you."

"I've seen you fight," I reminded him. "You wo-ould have to go easy on me, but I have an advantage."

Megatronus considered that. _He'd know every move before I made it. But still..._ "Have you trained in any sort of combat?"

"Circuit-Su," I said. "But it was a while ago."

 _That was the form Casurus said I… hmm... I wonder if we trained together before… no, I don't want that answered, but if we did…_ "Was I better than you?"

I nodded. "But I still won sometimes."

"Hmph," Megatronus said. "I've been training in the Pits of Kaon for the past vorn. I doubt you stand a chance."

I shrugged.

"All right," Megatronus said. _I would say no_ — _I know he's only offering because I'm so tense. But I really do need to hit something._ "Where?"

I beckoned.

He got up and followed me to the basement. I still had access to the Academy's database. I checked the rooms in the elite guard training center, and then set the groundbridge's coordinates to an empty one. Megatronus watched with his arms crossed as the bridge opened.

_We probably aren't supposed to use the groundbridge for something so frivolous. We'll have to answer to that security nuisance later._

Yes, Red Alert would probably have fits when he checked the bridge's log.

 _Maybe I can just glare at him. That worked last time he got on my nerves… we should go._ "Well?"

I gestured for him to follow me, then walked through. We could leave the bridge open while we were here, so long as we didn't spend too long. The room we were in was a decent-sized training room but it was dark and empty. The only light came from the still-open bridge and Megatronus's optics. I went over to the doors and jammed them so no one could get in without giving us some time to get through the bridge. Then I turned on the lights and extended my range so I would know if anyone came too close.

"All right," Megatronus said. "This isn't bad, but where are we?"

"The Academy," I said.

I was a little excited to do this as well. It had been a long time since I'd done anything Yoketron had taught me besides meditating.

 _Better be ready,_ Megatronus thought, and attacked. I dodged and blocked, then we disengaged. He had meant to take me by surprise, but that wasn't really possible.

"You cheat," Megatronus said with a grin.

"It's a trade-off," I replied, then deflected another attack.

"Well, you defend fairly well," Megatronus said, and went in for a longer attack, determined to break through my defenses. As out-of-practice as I was, I tired before long and let him through. He slammed me on the ground so hard I felt my back cave in a little.

"There," Megatronus said, venting hard. "Not bad." He backed off and held out a hand to help me up, tensing when I took it—wary of me turning the gesture into an opportunity to counter-attack.

I was still slightly dazed—certainly not about to retaliate. I got back to my pedes, and Megatronus gave me just enough recovery time before attacking again. For a while, after testing my abilities, he came in hard, hitting without any real strategy, just letting off steam. He got in a couple of painful hits then, but only one that I was going to have to work hard to hide from Ratchet. He didn't apologize, for which I was grateful. After all, I _had_ volunteered for this.

After he was finished letting out his pent-up energy, the sparring almost turned into training—which was what generally happened when two friends with different skill levels did anything competitive in the absence of an audience.

After about three quarters of a joor, I suggested we go back through the bridge, and Megatronus nodded. We walked through and I closed the portal behind us. Perceptor's power bill was going to be terrible this quartex.

"Thank you," Megatronus said. "I may need to do that again sometime."

I nodded. Maybe we could bring someone else into it to operate the bridge. Not Red Alert or Ratchet, and I didn't _quite_ trust any of my symbionts to run the groundbridge. Orion could do it, though I didn't like the idea of asking him for help.

* * *

The next time we organized an appearance, we nearly lost Orion and Megatronus. The government showed up to arrest them halfway through, and they had to rush backstage and through the groundbridge.

So the time after that, we used a hologram. Megatronus wanted to risk going, but Orion and I managed to talk him out of it. The crowd was disappointed, but they would just have to deal with it.

The Council started actively trying to stop us, but they barely slowed us down. They made it so you needed a permit to have meetings, but they didn't make it difficult to forge a permit. They were going to have to ban meetings entirely if they wanted to stop us, and that would cause them a lot of other problems.

There was once when the enforcers showed up, made a scene, and injured several mecha. Ratchet took care of all of them, without bothering to be sneaky about it. He had to leave school after that, without graduating, but he told us it was worth it, and that he would never have gone into research anyway, not with the moral ground he would have been asked to sacrifice.

News got around that we had a highly-qualified medic, and we started having problems with that. Ratchet, for all his prickliness, could not turn a sick or injured mech away, even if it meant getting up in the middle of the off-cycle and traveling halfway around the world without telling anyone where he was going. We worried that we might have to lock him up for his own safety.

But even with all of that, we were making progress. Autobot was a wave now, and no matter how hard the Council held out its arms to stop its swelling, there was nothing they could do.

* * *

It was just after the largest gathering yet, and Orion and Megatronus had both come personally. Megatronus left as soon as the meeting was over, but Orion and I stayed behind to talk to mecha—or at least Orion talked to them and I stood behind him, listening.

A familiar mind approached and I froze, wary.

_Hey, Soundwave…_

I looked up as he reached us. What was he doing here?

"Hello," Orion said.

"Can I talk ta you two in private?" Jazz asked.

Orion looked at me.

"'Wave here knows me," Jazz nodded his helm in my direction. _I promise I'm not a threat to either of you or this organization. Really. Please believe me. I just want to help._

I looked at him, trying to decide. I certainly didn't _want_ to trust him or talk to him. But I couldn't help noticing that he was being as honest as I'd ever seen him… at least I was pretty sure he was being honest.

Orion looked at me. _Is he not trustworthy? Who is he?_

"Okay," I said quietly.

_We can trust him? You didn't seem sure. Usually you don't have trouble making up your mind._

I nodded.

"Yes," Orion said. "Wait for a few breems, and then we'll find somewhere to talk."

I sent a comm. to Orion. _"We shouldn't take him back to Perceptor's house. I trust him enough to let him talk to us, but not to take him back to our headquarters."_

 _All right,_ Orion thought. _Thank you. But if you don't trust him…_

I was a little intrigued. Jazz had been more dangerous than Verdict or Motormaster, but I'd never really worried about him telling anyone my secret. I wasn't going to forgive him, of course, for everything he'd done to me in secondary school, but I was willing to hear him out. When Orion was finished talking to the other mecha there, the three of us walked out into the city together. There was a place we sometimes used to meet with other members of the rebellion. It was just an unused storage room.

Inside, Orion turned on the lights. There was a ring of boxes set up on the ground like chairs. All three of us sat down.

"All right," Orion said. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

The mech took in a deep vent and let it out. _Okay, here goes nothing. I'm going to just tell the truth, all the way because Soundwave will know if I don't._ "My designation is Jazz."

Orion nodded.

"I wanna join your organization."

He was different than I remembered. For one thing, he wore a visor that completely covered his optics. His thoughts too, were more guarded, more cautious, and in a lot of ways, he felt more dangerous. He wasn't just a playground bully anymore.

"Anyone can…" Orion started, but Jazz shook his helm.

"Ya don't know what I mean," he said. "I ain't anyone. I have a certain set of skills that ya might be able ta use. I don't mean ta be one of the members of the crowd. I… I can help in more significant ways. I can find things, and hide things, and steal things. I can get inta places other mecha can't…"

Orion looked down, wary. He didn't like the idea of inviting that sort of thing into Autobot.

"I can help ya, but… I'd also understand if ya don't want my help. I've done plenty of things that would disqualify me from joining a respectable organization like yours."

Orion looked up again. _This has never happened before. But Soundwave will be able to tell us if he's trustworthy._ "If that's the case, why have you come to talk to me?"

"I thought I'd try," Jazz said. "I'm sick of being… being the mech I was. I don't wanna use my talents ta hurt anyone anymore…" _I sound so stupid. Frag it, I probably shouldn't even have tried. But you have to know, Soundwave, that I'm being sincere about this._

"What do you mean by that?" Orion said. "I stand by what I said before. Anyone can join Autobot, no matter who they are. But if you want me to trust you, I'm going to need to hear your story." Orion said.

 _Right,_ Jazz thought. _And Soundwave will hear the parts I choose not to tell…_ He nodded. "As soon as I was out of secondary school, I joined a gang in Polyhex," he said. "It was stupid, but I was bored and it was what my friends were doing. I spent most of a vorn with them, before I deserted. I don't have clean hands. I've killed. I've lied and stolen and betrayed mechs who trusted me. I won't take up your time with the details, but I'm sure ya can imagine. If our positions were reversed, I wouldn't trust me."

Orion nodded, thoughtful. But he cared more about the remorse he could hear in the mech's voice than about the crimes he was confessing to.

"I left eventually," Jazz said. "That hadn't really been what I wanted ta do with my life. Of course, I ended up in prison with a life sentence, and I'd still be there, but…"

I looked up as I learned what he was about to say. Pit, this was bad…

"Well," Jazz said. "The Council offered me a deal. They wanted me ta infiltrate your organization and help them bring it down."

Orion stared at him.

"Thing is," Jazz said. "I _know_ what the Council does. They're just another gang. You ain't, though. Ya're different, Pax. I've looked at what ya've been doing. Ya wanna make the world better. And I know I'm not a good fit, but… I wanna join ya."

I wasn't certain about this. Jazz had hidden thoughts from me before, and if we let him join, we were putting ourselves in serious danger. Jazz had been fairly evenly matched with me back in secondary school, and he was even more dangerous now. He could do a lot of damage.

Orion considered for a long time. So long as I didn't tell him otherwise, he was going to assume that Jazz was telling the truth. He admired that.

"I'm willing to believe you," he said. "Though… I assume you're joining us in part because you now need to hide from the government."

Jazz looked down. "Ya're right," he said. "I'm sorry."

"That's all right," Orion said. "You aren't the only one. Soundwave, what is your opinion? Is he being honest?"

I hesitated. Jazz didn't look at me. He wasn't too optimistic.

"I don't know," I said. "I… _think_ he's being honest."

 _But you're not sure? How could someone hide it from you if they were lying?_ Orion wondered.

"I think he's being honest," I said. "But that do-oesn't mean I trust him."

 _There's some history there, I presume,_ Orion thought. _But I won't ask about it… unless it's something you think I should know._

I shook my helm.

"Okay," Orion said. "Jazz?"

"Yeah?" _If they say no, I'll just disappear. Maybe I can help them from the outside, somehow. It'll give me something to do at least, besides hide from the Council. I'm out of jail now, and I really don't feel like going back._

"If, as you say, you truly believe in our cause, I am willing to accept you into Autobot, and perhaps find a way to use the skills you talked about."

Jazz's helm snapped up. "What? Really?"

"Yes," Orion said. "Is that all right, Soundwave?"

I nodded, somewhat hesitantly.

Orion stood. "I believe in change, and second chances. You may have been a criminal, but if you renounce that, you can join us. We need all the help we can get."

Jazz took in a deep vent, suddenly almost overwhelmed by emotion. "Ya don't even know… some of the things I've done."

"It doesn't matter," Orion said. "If senator Ratbat decided to join us and Soundwave said he was being honest, I wouldn't turn him away."

If Ratbat tried to join Autobot, I would tell Orion he was lying, whether or not he actually was.

"So," Orion said. "Would you like to come back to our headquarters?"

"Ya trust me that much already?"

_Soundwave, he knows about your mind-reading, doesn't he?_

I nodded slightly.

_Do you think he'd sell us out?_

I hesitated, then shook my helm. Jazz watched our interactions, wondering what we were discussing.

"I trust you," Orion said. "Though, I would like to speak with you at length once we get there." _I should ask him to tell me his story in more detail._

That sounded reasonable. We got up and left the room. Jazz kept pace with us as we walked along the underground streets.

"This seems kinda unsafe," Jazz pointed out.

"If anyone sees us who bears us ill will, Soundwave will know," Orion said. "We… don't want to use faster ways of getting back to headquarters unless it is necessary."

Jazz nodded thoughtfully. _I've heard they have a groundbridge. That's pretty good. I wonder if they have a way to shield its energy. I know that's possible…_

Yes, we did shield the groundbrigde. Red Alert had set up some energy dampeners in Perceptor's basement once he’d joined us.

_Now, if you hid a groundbridge under a groundbridge station, no one would be able to tell it was there, even if it wasn't shielded._

That… was a brilliant idea. And then even if they pinpointed our groundbridge's location, it would just look like we were somehow using the ones in the groundbridge station. I would have to look into relocating the groundbridge there. Of course, it would be a difficult thing to do, because we would have to haul the groundbridge all the way through the city. But if we could pull it off…

We walked in relative quiet the rest of the way to Perceptor's house. I wasn't really happy about showing Jazz exactly where our base was. If he changed his mind and decided to turn us in, we were in trouble. Of course, I picked up from his processor that he had already known where our base was, but had wanted to come talk to us on more neutral ground first.

I wasn't ready to trust him quite yet, though. He might have changed since I'd last known him, but from his story, I was pretty sure that most of those changes had been for the worse.

When we got to Perceptor's house, Jazz and Orion went off to an empty room to talk. I went up to the meeting room and started working on the computers there, listening to Jazz's story, as I worked, and to Orion's reaction to it.

Red Alert joined me after a while, having just checked his cameras and seen Jazz on them. He wasn't too pleased.

Elita came in a few breems later, talking to Megatronus. They stopped once they were in the room. "Say, Red Alert," Elita said. "Do you happen to know where Orion is at the moment?"

"Yes," Red Alert said, then mumbled under his breath about dangerous criminals and how Orion had no sense of self preservation.

 _Okay?_ Elita thought with just a hint of amusement. _He does know I wanted him to_ tell _me where Orion was, doesn't he?_

"Orion's busy," I said quietly.

"All right," Elita said. She was one of those mecha who was nervous of me, despite trying not to be. Orion hadn't told her I could read minds, at least. I didn't think she'd take that very well. She was a very nice person, but not one who would be good at pretending I wasn't different. "Do you know how long he'll be busy?"

I shrugged. "Half a joor at most."

 _You're keeping an optic on him, right?_ Megatronus asked. _Is he somewhere safe?_

I nodded slightly, just so that Megatronus could see it. They sat down and started talking again. A few more mecha came in after that, and pretty soon the meeting room was full of talking and working mecha. I considered going to my room to escape the noise, but didn't want to bother.

It had mostly cleared out again by the time Jazz and Orion were done talking, more than two joors later. Elita and Megatronus and a few others were still in the meeting room. Red Alert had almost talked himself into believing that I was in league with some gang in Polyhex, and that Jazz had murdered Orion or something ridiculous like that. Elita and Megatronus had run out of things to talk about, and were just waiting for Orion to show up.

He came in, closely followed by Jazz.

"This is the meeting room," Orion said. Jazz glanced around, locating the two cameras Red Alert had in this room, and identifying by designation almost all of the mecha there, despite not having seen some of them before.

How the Pit…?

"Everyone," Orion said, "This is Jazz, he'll be joining us."

"Hi," Jazz said with an open, friendly grin that was a sharp contrast to his quick, professional assessment of the room.

"What!" Red Alert stood. "That mech…" He pointed at Jazz. "That mech's a criminal! I know it. I just looked him up again. He's wanted in Polyhex for all sorts of things, and by the Council for espionage. He's…"

"Red Alert," Orion said. "Please calm down."

"But…" Red Alert spluttered. "But… but he's a criminal. You can't just let some criminal show up and welcome him into this place!"

 _I'd better let Orion try ta talk my way out of this,_ Jazz thought, looking up at the taller mech. _If I argue, I'll probably just get everyone upset._

"Red Alert, Jazz _was_ a criminal." Orion said. "Now he wants to help us."

"No," Red Alert said. "Do you know who he _was?_ "

Jazz stiffened.

"Yes," Orion said, looking suddenly tall and imposing. "I know exactly who he was, and I do not think it necessary to bring up the details here. You can talk to me about it later."

"But…" Red Alert said weakly.

"I've decided to trust him," Orion said. "And so has Soundwave."

Megatronus glanced at me. _Then I suppose he must be trustworthy, whatever his past was like. Soundwave, you are so irreplaceably useful..._

Nice to know how much I mean to you.

 _It's interesting that Soundwave gets to make so many decisions about who to trust,_ Elita thought, also looking at me.

Jazz, on the other hand, walked over to where the secret door in the wall was, and, to everyone's surprise, managed to open it.

"Hmm…" he said.

"What…" Red Alert stared at him. "How did you know that was there?"

"It's the only wall space," Jazz said. "And it's in an awkward place, and just about big enough for a door." He closed it again. Ever think of putting something in front of it? Not all the way in front of it, just partway in front of it, so you can still get in, but it doesn't look so suspicious." Jazz turned around, still smiling. "Sorry, just pointing it out."

"What… what exactly are you going to _do_ as part of Autobot?" Elita asked.

Jazz looked at Orion, who nodded for him to go ahead.

"Well," he said. "I'm going ta be working in a variety of areas. I've had some experience keeping things from the government, and getting by without following the laws. I know that probably bothers some of ya, and I understand that. But I'm only gonna use what I know ta help ya." _After talking ta Orion, I think I might believe in this organization… I don't know if I ever really believed in anything before. That's kinda scary._

"We'll see, I suppose," Megatronus said. "I think it may be too early for trust just yet, Orion. But I'm not against giving him a chance."

Orion nodded, and the other mecha in the room relaxed a little, even Red Alert, though he still didn't quite trust Megatronus either.

"Thanks," Jazz said, really looking at Megatronus for the first time, and realizing that there was something unsettlingly familiar about the way he held himself.

"Here," Orion said. "Let me introduce you to everyone."

The mechs in the room were initially wary of meeting the newest addition to the group, but after a few breems, they seemed to settle. Jazz convinced them to relax, somehow, with his honest smile and friendly words. Soon, he was chatting with two of the other mechs in the room, while Megatronus and Orion talked in the corner, and Elita listened in on both conversations pensively.

I spared a few astroseconds of jealousy for how easily Jazz had made friends with everyone, and then went back to work. I didn't have the time or energy to be jealous about something like that, even if it wasn't fair. All it took were a few smiles and the inability to shut up, and mecha could get over the fact that you were a wanted and dangerous criminal.

Whereas, I had never stolen anything or killed anyone and half of the mecha I knew were terrified of me.

The orn drew toward its close, and everyone but Elita and Jazz left. Megatronus and Orion stayed, of course, because they both lived here now.

After a while, Orion and Elita were talking, and the other two were sitting in opposite corners of the room, watching each other warily and keeping track of the conversation at the main table. Then Elita got up with a sigh. "Well," she said, walking around to stand behind Orion for a moment and put her hands on his shoulders. "I'll come by next orn, after work."

Orion nodded, with a quiet, happy smile. "I will see you then. I'm sorry I can't walk you home." He glanced at Megatronus who shook his helm.

"That's all right," Elita said. "I wouldn't want to put you in danger. Besides, I'm not going home. I'm meeting up with Chromia and Moonracer on the way and we're going to a party one of Moonracer's friends is hosting."

"Oh," Orion said.

"I'd invite you," Elita said, "But it's femmes only." She smiled, and turned to walk away.

Silence fell.

I pushed away from my computer and stood, then turned to look at the others.

"So…" Jazz said, also standing. "I guess I should probably…"

"Do you have anywhere to stay?" Orion asked. "I'm sure Perceptor would let you stay here."

"Ya think he would?" Jazz asked. "I don't wanna impose."

"Of course you can stay here," Orion said. "Come, I'll find you a room and show you the rest of the house."

"Where _is_ Perceptor?" Megatronus asked.

"He's in his lab," I said. He'd come home a few joors ago, and had gone to his lab to work.

Jazz noticed again that there was something familiar about the former gladiator. But he wasn't sure what yet. He followed Orion out of the room, and I made to follow them as well, but Megatronus called me back.

"So," he said quietly. "This new mech. You really trust him?"

"I don't want to," I said. "But he's telling the truth."

"The truth? The truth about what?"

"That he wants to help us," I said. "He-e went to the same se-econdary school I did… we weren't fri-iends."

"Hmm…" Megatronus said. "That must have been a while ago."

"But he wa-as dangerous then." I said. "He figured out what I-I could do. He's too smart…"

"If he decides to betray us, it's over," Megatronus surmised.

I nodded.

"So, we'll keep a close optic on him. It'll probably help that he's wanted by the government too. Has it occurred to you that he might just be using us as protection, to hide from his past?"

I shrugged. "That doesn't seem to-o be his intent."

"Well, we'll keep a close optic on him in any case." Megatronus said. "That might be all we can do. If he's really working for us, then he seems like he'll be a good asset."


	73. Sponsors

Jazz got along well with the other mecha in Autobot. Within a few orns, he had made a good impression on just about everyone. Even Red Alert had to admit that he seemed to be honestly working to help us.

He had a lot of ideas. Things we could do to improve our campaign, our security, our public meetings, and everything else. Most of them were admittedly good ideas.

I couldn't relax around him, though. His processor was too nimble, he was too observant, and in his own way he was nearly as paranoid as Red Alert. Aside from that he was always moving. Always, _always_ moving, thinking, _doing_ something. It was exhausting to share his mind, more so than it had been when we had both been fledglings. Back then, he'd been just as brilliant, but he'd been more laid back about it.

Now he thought things through so quickly it was almost as if he wasn't thinking at all. The first few orns I just avoided him, but thankfully after that he started to slow down a little, and I realized he'd just been nervous and excited about being somewhere new.

Then Ratchet found out he had joined Autobot.

I had forgotten to tell either of them that the other was here. We were in the meeting room. Jazz was having a friendly conversation with Perceptor, and Orion and Megatronus were discussing their next meeting.

Ratchet came in. "No luck," he said. "No slagging luck."

He had been in Polyhex, looking for Wheeljack again.

Perceptor's spark sank and he turned to face the young medic. "I'm sorry… I'm afraid we might have to give up on finding him… Ratchet?"

But Ratchet had stopped, frozen, staring at Jazz. Jazz had also been surprised, but he stood quickly.

"Hey," he said. "Primus, mech, I didn't know ya were also…"

"You!" Ratchet snapped.

"Yeah," Jazz deflated a little.

"What are you doing here?" Ratchet demanded. He now had the whole room's attention.

"I joined…"

"No," Ratchet said. "No, you didn't."

"Come on," Jazz looked up at him, surprised. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Ratchet said fiercely. "What's wrong? The last time I saw you, you were standing over the leaking, dying chassis of one of my best friends."

Jazz stiffened, and the rest of the room froze.

I stood. "Ratchet," I said.

"No," Ratchet glared at me. "What the pit were you thinking letting him in here? Don't you _dare_ tell me you think he's trustworthy. I'm not going to stand for this!"

"That was a-a long time ago," I said. "Calm down."

"A long time ago nothing," Ratchet said, optics still fixed on Jazz.

Part of me just wanted to snap at him to shut up. I did not want this story to come out and I especially didn't want to have to tell it. I huffed a sigh instead and turned around to go back to my work.

"I'm sorry," Jazz said quietly, realizing that most of the room now thought he was a murderer—which he actually was, just not in that instance. "I know the fact that I didn't hurt him myself doesn't excuse me, but I let it happen, and it was my fault regardless. I don't think I would have been able ta forgive myself if he'd offlined."

Ratchet snorted.

"I know I can't ask for your trust or even your forgiveness," Jazz said. "But I really am sorry."

Ratchet shook his helm and turned around, then stormed out of the room and down the hall.

"What… was that about?" Perceptor asked.

Jazz sighed. "I guess ya all want ta hear the story now." He glanced in my direction. _Sorry, Soundwave. Ya want me ta try and keep ya out of it?_

I shook my helm. He could go ahead.

"I'll be brief," Jazz said. "I went ta the same secondary school Ratchet and Soundwave did. I hung with the wrong crowd there. We weren't real nice ta the other students. And there was one point at which… well, I nearly got Soundwave killed." He looked down. "And I _am_ sorry."

That last part was for me. I already knew he was sorry. I nodded anyway, in acknowledgment. The explanation didn't really satisfy everyone, and Jazz knew rumors would probably start going around, but he bravely started up his conversation with Perceptor again, and Perceptor reluctantly let himself be drawn back into it. There was still an air of tension in the room, and it was too much for me after a few breems, so I got up and went down to work in my own room instead.

* * *

"You're raising a following," Perceptor said. "But if you want to keep them, you're going to need to take a new step forward somewhere. If you don't do that, the wave will die out."

Orion nodded.

The leaders of Autobot were gathered around the table in the meeting room.

"Like what?" Megatronus asked. "We aren't ready to petition the Council. We need more support."

"I guess the question is who are we not reaching?" Jazz said.

"Who _are_ we reaching?" Elita asked.

"Lower middle class," I said, bringing up the stats on my screen. We had them more than anything else. They were uncomfortable enough to want better for themselves, but they felt safe enough that they were willing to take risks.

"Hmm…" Jazz said. "Ya also have a good following of high-end students. But that might just be because this was started by Academy mechs."

"So how do we reach everyone else?" Orion asked. "Any ideas?"

Everyone looked down at the table, thinking—or in some cases, hoping someone else would think of something.

"Maybe…" Megatronus said. "We… we got a lot of positive feedback for bringing me out of the mines. Perhaps we should do something like that again."

"Rescue a gladiator?" Ratchet raised an optic ridge.

"No," Megatronus said, not offended in the least by Ratchet's tone. "But something similar. Actually help the mecha we say we're trying to help."

"Like… offer them energon and maybe medical care?" Orion asked.

"I don't know," Jazz said. "It seems most mecha know about us, and they know that we're willing ta do that sort of thing. If we start handing out food though, we won't be a rebellion, we'll be a charity. And if we require other mecha ta join us if they want us ta help them, then we're not that much better than the Council."

"Do you have a suggestion?" Megatronus asked.

"I'm not saying that's a bad idea," Jazz said. "I'm just saying that's not the only step ya have ta take at this junction. Also, ya'd need some more funding for that. Perceptor doesn't have an infinite amount of wealth."

Perceptor nodded. "That's for certain."

"But ya'll need more funding anyway," Jazz said. "If ya really, really want this ta work, ya need ta hire the mecha who are putting in volunteer hours. Ya need ta make it more official. This is a full time occupation for five of us, right? But there are about fifty core members of Autobot. If ya could hire even ten or fifteen of them, then we'd be able ta get things done so much faster. We'd be able ta plan more, answer questions more, make more… whatever flyers, videos. Do more research. Ya wanna fight mechs with infrastructure, ya have ta have some form of it for your own. Ya need… I don't know, better ways ta count how many supporters we have, and better ways for our supporters to chip in and help. Also, in regard ta next steps, I think ya need ta push for small reforms from the Council before we do our big movement. See how far we can go before they flat out refuse ta work with us."

"What would you know?" Ratchet grumbled. He still wasn't happy that Jazz was here.

"No," Megatronus said. "I think Jazz is right."

"And I like the idea of trying to push smaller motions." Orion said.

"Then," Elita put in, "Whether or not they give in to our demands, we win. Because if they don't, then everyone sees how ridiculous they're being, and if they do, then everyone sees that the masses _can_ make a difference."

"Just one question," Perceptor said suspiciously. "Where exactly do you think we could get funding from?"

Jazz frowned. He could think of a lot of ways, but didn't want to suggest any of them.

"We won't steal anything," Orion said. "Not even from the government. I will _not_ allow us to become thieves."

"You stole me," Megatronus reminded him.

"Only if you consider slavery valid ownership," Orion said. "Which I do not."

"Donations?" Red Alert suggested. "But that could get awfully messy."

"We'll lose following if we start asking credit from them," Elita said. "And… and I don't want to ask for that anyway." _Especially not from mecha who are starving._

"We've had some donations," I said. "We turned most of them away."

"How much would we have if we hadn't?" Jazz asked, very interested.

I gave him an estimate.

He shook his helm. "Nothing like enough."

"So," Perceptor said. "If we don't want to steal and we don't want to ask for donations, what are we going to do?" _If they decide they're going to steal it, I might have to put my pede down. I can't see any moral high ground in stealing for our own benefit._

"Pity we don't know anyone rich," Jazz looked at me. Everyone else followed his gaze, somewhat confused.

"Crescent would neve-er fund us."

Ratchet snorted. "Are you serious? She hates Soundwave. I doubt she'd donate five credit."

"Hmm," Jazz said. "But do ya know any others? Any of her friends maybe, who might be willing. I bet Autobot's a point of gossip in the higher circles as well. We've made just enough of a stir ta be. Especially since bringing in Megatronus." _Not like I was part of Autobot back then. I kind of feel like I was, though. I like it here. This is a good kind of fun._

"I didn't kno-ow any o-of them very well."

"Okay," Jazz said. "Too bad."

"You think there are rich mecha somewhere, willing to fund us?" Perceptor asked. "You really think they care?"

"I think they care about standing out," Jazz said. "Looking good ta their friends, making a stir, being intentionally eccentric. And ya never know. There might be some who're compassionate too. Just because they're rich doesn't mean they're selfish glitches. It gives them a much better chance of being selfish glitches, but that don't meant they _have_ ta be."

"Sometimes I wonder if the elite classes are even real," Elita said. "No one ever sees them. They live up in those towers…."

"They're real," I said. "Trust me."

"Yep," Jazz said. "They're real. And I'm sure one way or another, we could talk a few inta giving us enough credit ta get started."

"But you have to talk to them, don't you?" Elita asked. "How are you going to manage that?"

"Right," Jazz said. "That's not gonna be the easiest thing." _It might be better if Soundwave did it, because he'd be able to tell if they were the kind of mecha who might be willing ta donate._ "Soundwave… do ya think maybe your caretaker might at least be willing ta let ya into a position where ya could…"

"I hate talking."

"Right…" Jazz said. "Okay."

They kept discussing it, though, and eventually came up with a plan. I didn't like it very much, but it might just work, if Crescent would cooperate.

That was a very big if.

* * *

I stood at the front door I'd stood at so many times. It had never been my home, this place. Not once, not even when Ravage had been here with me.

It was a long time before the door opened. I wasn't surprised to see an unfamiliar femme standing in the entryway. Crescent fired her servants and replaced them on a regular basis.

"Crescent still lives here, yes?" I asked, tightly controlling my voice so I didn't stutter. I tried to sound like I was supposed to be here.

 _Yes? Who is this? She wasn't expecting anyone._ "Yes, but…" she said. "Who might you be?"

"Soundwave," I said. "Tell her I'm here, and that if she dismisses me, she'll regret it."

The femme looked at my blank screen and felt a chill go down her back struts. She took in a deep vent and nodded. "Wait here, then." She closed the door and walked away. I expanded my range so I could hear her conversation with Crescent.

"Milady?"

"Yes, what is it?" Crescent snapped.

"There's a mech at the door. He said his designation is Soundwave."

Crescent froze for a moment. _Soundwave? What the pit? Are you really here, you little insect? I told you never to come back._ "Really?"

"Yes. He said you'd be sorry if you dismissed him… whatever that means." The servant femme cringed as Crescent stood from her place on the bench in the sitting room.

"Oh, really." _Well, I suppose you must have a reason for coming to see me. I hope you're not going to beg for money or something of the sort. I_ can _have you arrested if need be._ "Well, then I suppose you might as well bring him in."

The servant was somewhat surprised, but she rushed back to the door and opened it.

"She'll see you," she said.

I nodded in her direction, somewhat ashamed of frightening her, and stepped inside. I walked ahead of her to the sitting room.

Crescent was still standing, wearing an icy cold expression. "Soundwave," she said. "I think I told you never to come back here."

"You did," I said simply.

 _You smug little freak,_ Crescent narrowed her optics. _Well, at least you've graduated from the Academy, right? Now what do you want? Won't anyone hire you and your ugly faceplate?_

"I need to talk."

"If you want a favor, the answer is no."

I glanced at the servant femme, who was still here. "It's not a favor. Not exactly."

"Out," Crescent snapped at the femme, who scurried from the room, and closed the door, but stayed by it, listening, too intrigued to walk away.

"She's still here," I said quietly.

"I said OUT!" Crescent shouted. "I mean it! You're this close to being fired!"

The servant femme's fear of Crescent—and of me—suddenly outweighed her desire to eavesdrop and she left us alone.

"All right, what is it?" Crescent said.

"I need a favor."

Crescent's optics narrowed again. "Don't play that game with me."

"You taught me."

Crescent looked down, then back up again. "Touché. But I'm not doing you a favor."

"I'll do something for you in return."

"Like what?" Crescent said. "What could you possibly do for me to repay me for all those vorns of keeping you safe?"

"What I did when I was a sparkling," I said. "Here's what I want, Cre-escent. Ta-ake me to a party. Something for the highest elite. Something where you're considered poor. And I'll do what I di-id when I was younger. I'll let you know which of your friends you can trust, and which a-are pla-anning to stab you i-in the ba-a-ack."

Crescent stared at me for a long time. "Is that it?" she asked.

I nodded.

"You want me to bring my ugly little orphan to a party?"

"Y-you can pretend you hi-ired me as a servant," I suggested.

She sighed. "But why? Why would you want something like that? Last time we talked you weren't too fond of parties."

I hesitated.

 _Hmmm…_ She smirked. "This smells of intrigue, Soundwave. Are you finally getting into politics? It almost sounds as if you've stopped moping around and have started trying to make something of your life. I'm almost impressed."

I stared flatly at her. The last thing I wanted was for her to be impressed with me. If Crescent was proud of me, then I was doing something wrong. I tried to imagine what Searchlight would think in this situation, but then remembered that he was different now.

"All right," Crescent said. "Because you've got me curious, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you to a party, and pretend you're my servant, but only if you tell me why you want to go. I want to hear the whole thing. Oh, and there's no way in pit that I'd trust you to tell me which of my friends I can trust. When you were an impressionable little sparkling, I was pretty sure you were telling the truth, but I don't even know you anymore."

I nodded.

"So do we have a deal?" Crescent asked. "You tell me what you're planning, and if I think it's sneaky and interesting enough, then I'll help you out." _Or maybe not. We'll see…_

What would she do if I told her I was part of Autobot? Would she have me arrested? Somehow, I didn't think so. I'd caught her in a decently good mood.

I took a deep vent and started talking.

* * *

Crescent brushed a speck of dust from my shoulder and looked me over. She'd insisted I get a new paint job. I was the same dark gray colors as before, but it was new. No scuffs or scratches. She, herself, had also gotten new paint, but she'd made herself black and iridescent green. I thought it made her look like some sort of giant organic insect, but fortunately, she couldn't read my mind.

The elevator was taking us obscenely high above the city of Iacon, and it was probably going to take more than two breems for it to get to the top.

"All right," Crescent said. "I want you on your best behavior. Absolutely no stuttering. Not once. In fact, you can do the dead voice thing, if you can pull it off without making it sound lame, but no stuttering."

She had decided against pretending I was a servant, and despite the fact that she didn't trust me, she wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to learn some juicy secrets about the other wealthy class. In addition to having me spy for her at the party, she had had me tell her which of her staff was spying on her, and she'd wanted me to answer some questions about her neighbors too. She didn't mind taking me to a party, because she didn't think we were going to have much success with getting anyone to donate to our cause, and she was looking forward to gloating about it afterward.

"Now, you're lucky this party was coming up. The invitations allow for us to bring guests. If I'd already had someone else who was coming, I wouldn't have let you come." _Of course, I don't think I would have brought anyone._ "There'll be a lot of mecha from various places there. There might even be some real nobility, so keep an optic out for them. Not that you're looking for the high tower mechs. None of them would stoop so low as to help fund a rebellion. All right, let's go."

The elevator door opened, and she put her hand on my arm and guided me down the hall and past a few guards, who checked her against the guest list and let us pass.

We stepped into a room full of quiet music and muted lighting. And a lot of hushed talking and scheming. I expanded my range and felt the full spectrum of the elite.

They were different, these mecha, or so they thought. So different from the commoners that they might as well be a different species.

As if.

I knew these mecha. I had met them here and there. They were like Verdict and Crescent. They had this almost naïve sense of entitlement. They felt that because they had more, they _were_ more.

And it might be easy to justify that thinking. Stand a tall, high tower noble next to a scruffy, beaten-down beggar, and it would be easy to see who the more powerful mech was.

But inside their helms was a different story. The nobility, for the most part, were well-educated and well-cared for. But I had seen sparklings steal energon treats from vendors with just as much confidence and cleverness as these mechs used in their political games.

They weren't any different. The biggest difference in their processors was that they _thought_ they were different.

I lost track of things for a few astroseconds listening to them, but then forced myself to pay attention to what Crescent was doing. She had brought us to a table slightly to one side of the room where a mech and a femme she knew were sitting.

"Crescent," the femme said with a smile. "How are you, dear spark?" _Oooohhh, I like the colors… They're a little shiny, though. And who's this she's brought?_

"Well," Crescent said. "This is my old charge, Soundwave. He's back from the Academy, and I thought I'd introduce him to a little polite society." _If you need to talk, let me tell you what to say._

 _Hmm…_ the other femme thought, even as she smiled and introduced herself. _I thought Crescent had disowned him. I wonder what happened there. He's a little strange-looking. She ought to get him a better substitute for a faceplate._ "Congratulations on the Academy," she said.

Crescent prompted me, and I spoke without a stutter. But my processor was really on other things. I was actually glad to have Crescent with me to tell me what to say so I could pay attention to one of the servants who was taking around a tray of little spherical cups of high grade. He was painted gray and maroon, like the other servants in the room, but unlike the others, he wasn't devoting his processor to staying out of everyone's way and making sure everyone got high grade if they wanted.

He was more focused on me. Waiting for me to give a signal. But before I did that, I needed to feel out the minds in the room and try to find someone who might be willing to fund us. I found one, and commed him.

_"Gold and white mech in the southwest corner of the room."_

Jazz mentally acknowledged my message, quickly identified the mech in question, then waited for me to confirm over the comm. before slowly making his way toward that table, taking a roundabout route.

Once he was there, he discreetly slipped a small datapad to the mech I had indicated. The mech took it just as discreetly—they were somewhat used to this sort of thing—and continued talking to the other mech across the table from him. The other mech noticed, but didn't think much of it.

The datapad contained information about who we were, what we needed, and how they could contact us. The mech read it, thought about it, and decided to contact us the next orn.

One. We had one.

Time went on. Crescent took me around to meet other mecha she knew, and even some she didn't. It didn't matter. I knew them already. I had known them the moment I'd stepped through the doorway.

I searched out minds that were more open, or minds that resented the Council for some reason. And then I sent Jazz to give them datapads.

It went very well for a joor or so, especially since mecha came and left. Most of the ones who got the note decided they wouldn't contact us, or at least weren't sure about it, but we had two more when the game suddenly changed.

One of the guests was watching.

He'd seen Jazz hand out three little datapads and was now very curious. We had thought of this possibility, but I had hoped it wouldn't happen. It was more likely that one of the mecha we contacted would turn us in than that someone else would notice what we were doing and take interest in it.

And this was bad. I had been careful to choose mecha who I didn't think would turn us in. This one had not been on my list.

He was high tower nobility, perhaps twice my age—young, especially for a noble—and bored with the party. And now he'd noticed us.

I sent Jazz a comm. _"You're being watched."_

 _Someone's figured me out?_ he practically pouted.

_"Yes."_

_Who? Do we need ta leave?_

I hesitated. So far, the mech had done nothing but watch.

 _Who?_ Jazz demanded again, glancing in my direction.

Reluctantly, I described the mech to him.

Jazz found him, and watched him out of the corner of his optic. _Is he gonna turn us in?_

I wasn't sure. I just shrugged very slightly, trying to make it look as if I was just shifting my weight.

Jazz saw. _Undecided?_

_"Yes."_

_I'm gonna go talk ta him._

I froze. _"Don't."_

No, Jazz. Do not go talk to that mech.

But there was no stopping him. I could only sit and listen helplessly as Jazz wandered over to where the high tower mech was sitting.

When he was close enough, the other mech called him over with a quiet gesture. I completely lost track of the conversation Crescent was having, as Jazz walked over to the tower mech and held out the tray of high grade.

The mech didn't take one. "You're good," he said quietly. "Are you on the staff list?"

"Would you like some energon, milord?" Jazz answered, barely moving his lip plates.

The other mech shook his helm, watching very closely.

"Is there something else I can get ya then?" Jazz asked.

"Yes," the tower mech said with focus and intensity that surprised me. "If you wouldn't mind."

Jazz shrugged. "It’s not that exciting," he said, and slipped the tower mech one of the datapads. I wanted to scream. What the pit was Jazz doing? Crescent had been very, _very_ clear about not trying to beg money from an actual high tower mech.

Despite Jazz's warning, the mech was a little disappointed at the contents of the datapad. But he was also somewhat intrigued.

_Do we need ta leave now?_

_"Yes."_

_Did we get some, at least?_

_"Yes,"_ I said again, then signaled Crescent that we needed to leave. She carefully, discreetly extricated herself from her current conversation, and left the room with me.

We didn't talk until we were in the elevator.

"So," she said. "That was it. No more favors. Understand?"

I nodded.

"I couldn't figure out which servant it was," Crescent said. "You really had one in there who you were talking to?"

I nodded. Jazz was good at what he did.

But that high tower mech had noticed him. He'd noticed Crescent and I leaving as well, though he hadn't considered that we might be involved.

At the ground floor, Crescent and I split up. I stayed to wait for Jazz, while she headed home.

It took him so long, I was starting to worry, but eventually, he came out the front doors of the building, back to his standard black and white colors.

"So," he said. "How did we do?"

"Three for certain," I said. "What were you do-oing at the end? It wa-as I-i-insane!"

"Eh," Jazz said. "Figured I'd at least go talk ta him. I'm surprised anymech noticed me. I thought I was doing a good job…"

I shook my helm. He could have gotten us both killed. You did _not_ mess with the high tower mechs. Just _talking_ to him could have gotten Jazz killed.

They didn't quite follow the same rules everyone else did.

We went down to the lower levels of the city. It was late in the off-cycle, so there weren't very many other mecha there. I had a mild processor ache, so I was keeping my range small, or I would have noticed sooner that we were being followed.

When I did realize it, I only let myself hesitate for a moment. I was worried at first that it was enforcement, but then I realized to my astonishment and utter horror, that it was the tower mech himself.

I glanced over my shoulder to where he ought to be, but there was nothing there.

Spooked, I turned and kept walking again. Jazz noticed my hesitation and sent me a few questioning thoughts.

_Hmm… it almost looked like he noticed me, but he couldn't have seen me._

Invisible. He was invisible.

" _Jazz,"_ I commed.

 _Yeah, what is it?_ He didn't bother to send a comm. back, knowing it would be redundant.

" _That tower mech is following us."_

 _Oh,_ Jazz didn't even hesitate, just kept walking. _Really? Slag, I feel like I should have noticed._

" _He's got a mod that makes him invisible."_

_What! That's… that's... Are ya sure?_

" _Yes. He's right behind us."_

 _Okay..._ Jazz said. _Is he alone?_

" _Yes."_

_Let's corner him._

" _Are you insane?"_

_Probably. But hey, he's following us by himself. That means he must want ta talk ta us for some reason, right?_

Primus, he was going to get us killed.

He found a long, empty alleyway and stopped halfway down it, then turned around and faced the empty atmosphere where the tower mech was standing.

"Okay," Jazz said. "Ya can come out now."

The tower mech froze, then cautiously turned off his invisibility.

Jazz smirked. "Hey, ya aren't so bad yourself."

"How did you know?" the tower mech demanded.

Jazz shrugged. "Just knew, somehow," he tapped his visor. "That's a neat mod, though."

"Thank you," the tower mech said. "So… who are you? Are you really from that silly little rebellion?"

"Yep," Jazz said. "Designation's Jazz."

The tower mech committed it to memory. "I'm Mirage," he said.

"This is Soundwave," Jazz nodded his helm in my direction. "Doesn't talk much."

_But he's the one who noticed me following them, I think. He looked back at me. That was a clever bluff, though, with the visor._

"So," Jazz said. "Was there anything else ya wanted, milord?"

"I'm not going to fund you," Mirage said thoughtfully. "At least not yet. Perhaps if your rebellion goes somewhere, which I doubt it will. The Council will eliminate you, in all likelihood, and I don't want to have wasted resources."

Jazz was honestly surprised. "Ya followed us just ta tell us that?"

"No," Mirage looked down his olfactory sensor at us. "I wanted to see where you were going. I didn't expect you to notice me. You really are good."

"High praise," Jazz nodded. "Coming from a tower mech."

"Yes," Mirage said. "I want you to teach me."

Jazz froze. "Huh? Teach ya what?"

"What it is you can do," Mirage said. "I want you to teach me. Not now. I'm too busy now. But I'll contact you when I'm ready, and you will come. Do you understand?"

"Sure," Jazz said. On the inside, though, he was suddenly tense and wary.

"Until then," Mirage said, and disappeared. He transformed and sped away, still invisible, and silent as well. I realized his mod must mask noise too.

We watched him—or at least, we watched the empty atmosphere where he had been—until he was long gone. Then Jazz started walking back the way we had come.

_Did he really leave? I didn't hear anything._

I nodded.

"Well," Jazz said quietly. "That was… interesting."

"Your fault."

"I know, don't rub it in. Fragging tower mechs. Like ta see him try ta hunt me down and make me teach him anything."

"Doomed."

"Shut up, 'Wave."

"Don't call me that."

Jazz froze at the sound of my voice. He'd never heard me angry before. "Okay," he said quietly. "Sorry."

We walked in silence the rest of the way back to the base.


	74. Laws

In the end, we were contacted by five of the mecha we'd asked for money, and four of them donated.

Jazz's crazy scheme had gotten us enough credit to do as he had suggested and hire our mecha to work for us full time. We also had more money for campaigns, and for supplies for Ratchet, who still wouldn't turn anyone away. He and Red Alert got into a lot of arguments about that.

Red Alert dropped out of the Academy and joined us full time as well. It got more crowded in the meeting room, so I spent more of my time in my own room, but sometimes I needed to use the computers.

One orn I was sitting in the meeting room, working on adding some new information to our files on the public database, while Orion, Elita, Megatronus, and Jazz discussed what our next move was.

"We could try to do something with the school system," Elita said. "It's horrible that it's so hard for anyone to get an education, without having money."

"Yes," Orion said. "But…"

"But reforming the school system's too complicated," Jazz said. "It'd take time. We need something small and a little easier for them ta change at first. The big, _deep_ reforms have ta come later. We need something simple, but real."

"Like what?" Elita asked him. _Does he_ have _to knock everyone else's ideas down?_

Jazz shrugged. "I'm not familiar with all the laws in this city."

"There's a surprise," Megatronus muttered.

Jazz smiled in appreciation of the sarcasm. "Orion, ya got any ideas?"

"I wish we still had Shockwave," Orion said. "He would probably be able to help us in this situation."

"Shockwave?" Jazz asked. "What happened ta him?"

"He disappeared, just before we founded Autobot,” Orion said. “Did you know him?"

"He was in the same school," Jazz said. "I didn't know him really well. I remember he was quiet, and pretty smart. He was younger than me."

Orion nodded. "Well… he was the Academy's representative on the Council, but he disappeared…"

"Back to the subject," Megatronus said. "We need to decide on something we want the Council to change so we can test the power of our following."

They all nodded.

The table fell quiet for a few breems as they all thought, considering every law they knew. Unfortunately, most of the corrupt or oppressive legislature was too powerful and ingrained into society.

They were further distracted when Ironhide entered the room. He hadn't been here since before Megatronus showed up.

Orion saw him immediately. He stood up, suddenly nervous.

"Hey, mech," Ironhide walked around the table and put a hand on Orion's shoulder.

"I… didn't think I'd see you here again," Orion glanced at Megatronus, who stood, sensing the sudden tension in the air.

Chromia came in after Ironhide, and Moonracer came with her. They both stood by the door and watched.

"Well" Ironhide said. "Sorry for storming out of here," He shot a mildly unfriendly look in Megatronus's direction. "I figured I don't have to be part of your organization to be your friend. I mean, that's what I said in the beginning," he said.

"It's all right." Orion let himself smile a little. "Thank you… Ironhide, this is Megatronus."

"Hmm… Thought you were calling him Megatron now."

"In public," Megatronus said, and reached out warily to shake Ironhide's hand. Ironhide was just as wary.

"I was against bringing you here," Ironhide admitted. "Just so you know. Nothing personal."

"No offense taken," Megatronus said. "I'm surprised any of them wanted to bring me here. I hope my presence doesn't bother you too much."

 _I don't like him,_ Ironhide decided. _He's being polite, but there's still something I don't like about him._ "Don't worry."

"Ellie," Moonracer hissed. "We need to talk to you."

Elita sighed and got up. "Sorry," she said. "I'll be back in a few breems." She went over to the other femmes, and all three of them left the room. I didn't particularly care what they were talking about, so I didn't follow them with my range.

After that, the meeting pretty much ended. Orion and Ironhide started talking about other things, and Megatronus excused himself. I finished what I had been working on, and got up so I could relocate to my room and spend some time with my symbionts. I was stopped before I got there by Megatronus.

"Soundwave," he said. "That mech, Ironhide… do you trust him?" _Do you think he'll try to turn Orion against me?_

I tilted my helm to the side. "It's possible," I said. "But unlikely. And unlikely he'll succeed."

Megatronus still wasn't pleased with the idea of having him around. "He's a soldier," he said. "Who does he fight for?"

"The Council," I admitted.

"Then he can't be trusted, can he?"

I hesitated, then shook my helm. "But I-I don't think he'd betray Autobot." He honestly did care about Orion's wellbeing. In fact he was worried that Megatronus was manipulating Orion.

In reality, I was pretty sure Orion was manipulating both of them. It was all based on honesty and selflessness, but it was still manipulation. Even Orion didn't realize how much sway he held, or how much everyone around him valued him.

Megatronus sucked in a deep, tense vent. "If you don't mind," he said. "I'm feeling the need to spar."

I nodded.

We headed down to the basement. To our surprise, Jazz was there already, talking to Perceptor.

"Oh," Perceptor said. "Soundwave. Megatronus. Do you mind helping me look for something like this." He held up a datapad with a picture of some sort of tool on it. "I could have sworn I had one down here."

"Ask Red Alert," I said.

"Thank you, that's a good idea." Perceptor said, and headed up the stairs. Jazz considered following him, but decided to talk to us instead.

"So what are you two doing down here?"

"I could ask the same of you," Megatronus said. He actually felt a sort of kinship with Jazz, because both of them had questionable pasts. He didn't _trust_ Jazz, but he didn't dislike him.

"I was checking in case I'd missed any secret passages down here," he said. "There's room for another one, I think but I'm not sure if there _is_ one. And then I was helping Percy look for that thing."

Megatronus nodded.

"I left the meeting room right after you. I figured I might as well leave before that Ironhide mech had a chance ta get introduced ta me. If he doesn't like _you_ being in Autobot, he sure as pit doesn't want me here."

Megatronus nodded again.

"So, back ta you two."

Megatronus glanced at me, then decided to trust the other mech. "We were just going to use the bridge to sneak into the Elite Guard Academy training rooms and spar."

"Oh," Jazz said. "Okay. Cool… bet Red Alert didn't approve that."

Megatronus snorted.

"If ya want, I'll run the bridge for ya, so ya don't have ta leave it open."

"That would be appreciated," Megatronus said.

I checked the rooms on the Academy's database, and typed in the coordinates for an empty one. Megatronus and I went through. I expected the bridge to close after us, but it didn't, and then a few moments later, Jazz came through.

"Do ya mechs mind if I watch?" he asked. "Sorry, it's just I've never seen a gladiator fighting, and I've certainly never seen Soundwave fight."

"Maybe you'd like to go against me," Megatronus was feeling a lot less friendly toward Jazz all of a sudden.

Jazz shrugged. "I don't know. I've had ta hold my own before, but your skills are legendary, mech."

"Thank you," Megatronus said, not quite pacified. "But I thought you said you'd run the bridge."

"I'll just be here a few breems," he said. _There's something so familiar about him and I still haven’t figured it out. Who does he remind me of?_

Megatronus didn't wait for me to be ready, but of course I saw his attack coming. Jazz watched us fight for a few breems, shocked that I was so good. He knew my abilities gave me an edge, but you needed more than mind-reading to stand up to a gladiator.

Megatronus still won, of course. He pinned me to the ground, hard, then let me up. Then he attacked again. This time, it was over more quickly. By this point, Jazz was just focusing on Megatronus, trying to remember where he’d seen the mech before.

Megatronus knocked me over a third time, then reached down to help me up, and I let him pull me back to my pedes.

Jazz gasped as it clicked in his processor. Megatronus looked at him. "What?"

"Nothing," Jazz said. _Searchlight… nah, that's impossible. I know what happened ta him. Autobot wrote a little thing about it… but Megatronus didn't start getting real popular until a vorn or so after the end of secondary school… slag… is it him?_ He glanced at me.

I didn't respond, which was enough of an answer.

_Pit… who knows?_

I shook my helm slightly.

_Does Orion know?_

I shook my helm.

_Ratchet? Perceptor?_

"What?" Megatronus demanded.

I shook my helm again.

 _Does… does_ he _know?_

I didn't answer.

"Primus…" Jazz said, and stared at Megatronus. _That determination… It's still there, strong as ever._

 _He recognized me, didn't he?_ Megatronus asked.

"He did," I said softly.

Megatronus sighed. "That's too bad. You like to talk a lot, don't you?"

"What?" Jazz was suddenly wary. "Ya… you're not…"

"Whoever I might have been," Megatronus said. "That mech is just as dead as everyone thought he was."

Megatronus knew he was Searchlight. It hadn't been too hard to guess.

"How so?" Jazz asked. _Those aren't the words of a sane mech._

"They wiped my memory," Megatronus said. "Since you recognized me, I suppose you must have known me. But whoever you were to me, I don't remember that either, though Soundwave tells me we weren't friends." He let that sink in.

Jazz was quiet for nearly a breem. "But..." he said. "Ya really haven't told anyone? Soundwave, mech, ya have ta tell someone, they might be able ta help him."

"No," Megatronus said. "I don't need help. If we tell anyone, surely you can see that it will complicate everything. It will change everything. Autobot is progressing, and if we throw something like the revelation that I'm a ghost from everyone's past…. Can't you see how that will cause problems?"

"I… guess," Jazz said.

"You are not to tell anyone," Megatronus said. "Do you understand? This is _my_ decision."

Jazz looked down. "Okay," he said. "Are ya sure? They might be able ta help ya get your memories back."

"No," Megatronus said. "I don't need them. What I care about now is making sure Autobot succeeds. I don't want anything else to get in the way of that. I don't want my _past—_ any part of my past—to get in the way of that. Surely you of all mecha can understand."

"I think the circumstances there ain't quite the same." He looked at Megatronus again. _He's different. Just as stubborn, though. Pit, this must be hard for Soundwave._

I didn't move. I didn't want Jazz's sympathy. That was the _last_ thing I wanted.

He seemed to realize that. "But yeah, I guess that's your choice… and I guess I'll leave ya two here, and close that bridge so we don't waste energon." He stepped through the bridge and after a few astroseconds it closed behind him.

"Will he keep it a secret?'

I nodded. He would.

Megatronus sighed. "Don't I look different? How do these mecha keep recognizing me? You, then that femme, now this mech who supposedly wasn't friends with me."

I shrugged.

Searchlight was unmistakable. I still couldn't believe Ratchet _didn't_ see who he was.

Suddenly I didn't feel like sparring anymore. I felt like curling up on my berth and hiding from everyone, instead. But Megatronus had even more pent up energy to let out now that he was nervous about Jazz knowing about his past.

So I stayed, bracing myself for a long sparring session.

* * *

I was up early, working. The government had taken down our files pretty thoroughly. I'd grown complacent and hadn't been watching for it, and no one had let me know until the middle of the off-cycle. Ravage woke when I got off of my berth, and demanded to go with me, because he was tired and cranky, and that sometimes made him even more protective than normal. He leaped up onto my shoulders and I took him up to the meeting room, where I turned the computer on.

The house was quiet, and everyone was recharging, which was nice. A couple of orns before, Jazz had woken up from a pretty awful nightmare, and it had dragged me out of recharge as well. Since then I'd been careful to keep my range small when I powered down.

Ravage slipped back into recharge as I worked. It took me all the way until the sun dome came on. Orion was the first in the house to wake. He spent a few breems in his room, thinking, then came up to the meeting room.

He expected it to be empty, and was surprised when I was there. Ravage woke, but when he saw that it was only Orion, he shuttered his optics and tried to slip back into recharge.

"Oh," Orion said. "Good orn, Soundwave." _How long have you been awake?_

Too long.

He sat down at the table, thoughtful. "You know… I think I may have come up with an idea for something we want the Council to change… though it's not a law they need to remove, it's a law they ought to make."

I didn't respond. He knew I'd heard him. He knew I knew what he was thinking too. He wanted to say it anyway, just to say it out loud—to hear how it sounded when it was voiced.

"They don't let laborer-class mecha into government buildings," Orion said. "Or… they do, but if someone notices you and doesn't like it, they can have you thrown out. I've seen it happen in the Hall of Records. And I know there are other places where it's more common. I've even heard of mecha being thrown out of groundbridge or transport stations sometimes." He shook his helm. "There's no law I can think of that says they _can't_ go there. But I think there ought to be one that says that in public government buildings, it's illegal to throw someone out of the building based on their class. Does that sound doable to you? It wouldn't be too hard for the Council to change something like that. And it would be a good morale booster for those among the laborer classes who support us."

I nodded. It sounded good.

Orion took a deep vent and let it out, feeling surprisingly nervous. "It seems amazing that we've come so far," he said. "Do you remember when this started? Somehow, I didn't… think we'd come this far."

I shrugged, which jostled Ravage a little. He shot me a few slightly resentful thoughts before settling again.

_And now we're about to outright challenge the Council on something. I hope we can get enough support for it… and I hope this will work. I'll talk to everyone else and see what they think…_

I was pretty sure his idea was going to go through. It was solid. Simple and easy and logical. The Council would have a hard time convincing anyone they had a real reason not to make a law like that.

Orion sighed, and turned to look at me. "Thank you," he said, "for listening."

Then he got up and left the room.

* * *

The idea did go through. Everyone agreed that it was a good first step toward reform, and that we could probably get a large number of our followers to support the demand. All that remained was to let all of Autobot know.

We set up a large meeting—one of our largest yet—on the third level below ground in a large storage room that hadn't been too hard to break into.

Orion and Megatronus were there in person, and Jazz and I were there to make sure Orion and Megatronus got out quickly if they needed to. The crowd was too large for me to listen to them all, so I just stayed backstage, listening to Orion and Megatronus and the first few rows.

"Mecha of Iacon," Orion said, stepping out onto the small, makeshift stage. "Thank you, as always, for your support."

They were different—very different—from Megatronus's crowds in Kaon. They didn't cheer as loud or as often, but they listened harder. And they meant it when they listened.

"This orn we've come to talk about the next step we're going to take. Most of you know that our eventual goal is to go before the Council and ask them to make reforms that will give us all the rights we deserve as Cybertronians and citizens of this city-state."

The crowd murmured their acknowledgment. They understood that goal.

"I know all of you have been working hard to convince those around you to join us, but we can't allow this motion to stagnate, so we will begin to ask for change, starting this very orn."

The crowd stirred with nervous excitement.

"We're going to start small," Orion said. "But I want us to be unified. My close friends and I have discussed it extensively, and we've come up with a change we think the Council ought to make…"

He went on to explain the law that he would like to have passed. There was a general atmosphere of understanding out in the part of the audience that I could hear. They got the idea. They understood why we were going for the law that we were going for.

"I'd like to see," Orion said, "By a show of hands, whether or not you all agree to help us with this."

Hands went up. Almost unanimous.

"Thank you," Orion said, and everyone in the room put their hands down. "Now, are there any questions?"

A mech in the second row raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"So, what do we do?" he asked. "We want to get this law passed. How do we do that? We can't all just storm the Council building, can we?"

"No," Orion said. "But that's the next thing we're going to discuss."

A femme, farther back, raised her hand, Orion indicated that she should speak.

"Why are we going after something so small?" she said. "Shouldn't we push for a real reform?"

"Eventually," Orion said, "But we're going to start small."

Megatronus stepped forward to stand by Orion. "As of yet, we don't have the mechpower to push large reforms. But need to test our power as a citizenry. If the Council passes this law, we'll know we can get them to pass others."

Orion nodded.

Another mech called out a question without raising his hand. "What if they refuse to make the law? What if they just flat out refuse?"

"Well then," Megatronus's expression darkened. "Everyone will see them for the tyrants they are."

There was a murmur of agreement from the crowd, and those who didn't think we were aiming high enough were pacified.

"What we ask of you," Orion said, "Is first to tell everyone you know about this. Make them aware it is happening. We want word of this meeting to get back to the Council from every direction. In a few orns, I will meet with mecha from the news, and we'll go public with our campaign to get this law passed. Then I want all of you to write messages. Send them to the Council and send them to us. We'll cover the public display boards with them and flood the Council Hall with them. We'll hold rallies and meetings and _push_ until they give in or are forced to make a stand against us."

The room was silent with contemplation. Some of them were scared. They were right to be scared. _I_ was scared. It was time to come out of the shadows and hope that we could get enough mecha to join with us that we weren't squashed.

"Nerve-wracking, isn't it?" Megatronus asked, sensing the mood of the crowd. "To take this step. But if we aren't brave enough to do this, then we're never going to make a change. We _will_ be in danger, and it _will_ be a hard fight, but if we all stand up together, nothing will be able to stop us. Who's with me?"

Several mecha stood up. Then many more followed. After that, everyone rose to their pedes and a strong cheer swept the room from end to end.

Megatronus let it grow in volume, then raised his hand and the room fell silent again.

"Thank you," he said, then backed away and let Orion speak again. Orion answered questions and gave more specific instructions to everyone for the next half a joor, before closing the meeting. He, Megatronus, Jazz, and I all went off to the side as the building started to clear out.

"Good meeting," Megatronus said. "How does it look, Soundwave?"

"Good," I said. "They want this."

Orion took in a deep vent. "All right," he said. "We're really going to do this… Primus, I'm terrified."

"Well, it doesn't show," Megatronus said. "Don't worry."

"We have such a long way to go," Orion said. "This is the beginning, isn't it?"

"There's lots of beginnings," Jazz said. "But yeah, I don't know if anyone in the history of Cybertron has done something like this before. Let's get home before they decide they wanna arrest us, all right?"

He led the way out the back, and I brought up the rear. We went back to Perceptor's house to finish planning for what Orion would say to the news reporters in two orns.

* * *

I sat in the meeting room this time when I hacked the public display boards. We had better security, and were better hidden now, so I didn't have to do it from somewhere else. A small group of mecha including the core members of Autobot, and Ironhide, were sitting at the table, talking, and occasionally glancing over at me, wondering how soon I'd be ready. We already had hundreds of messages and letters written to the Council about the law that we wanted passed. One of the very first things Autobot had done was something like this, and it felt strange to be coming full circle.

It was much easier now.

So far, the Council had done its best to ignore us, or quietly get rid of us, but that was becoming less and less of an option _._ The media, while not technically on our side, had even started helping us by giving us more publicity.

"Okay," I announced, and they paused their conversation and looked in my direction. I typed in a few commands, and the program ran. It was a little more complicated this time, and wasn't displaying the same thing on each board. I was only waiting a few breems to get confirmation from several sources that it had worked.

I relayed the information to everyone, and they all cheered.

But we had a lot of work to do, so after that we dispersed.

At first, the Council refused to pay us any attention, but we kept pushing. We petitioned, sent letters, and rallied in the streets in open sunlight.

And eventually, after two decaorns, the Council agreed to publicly acknowledge our demands and address them over the news. All of the mecha who were central to Autobot gathered in the meeting room to watch the news on the big holo-screen we had there.

"Halogen, head of the High Council of Iacon, is going to speak now to address the concerns of Autobot and its supporters," a reporter was saying solemnly. The scene cut to the Council Hall, where another reporter was standing on the floor, in front of the Council, looking very small.

"Good orn," Halogen said slowly, "Mecha of Iacon and surrounding city-states…" His calm voice seemed to penetrate the room, and it felt unnervingly like his optics were focused on us. Like he could see us. Like he knew where we were…

Irritated, I pulled my range in so it didn't include Red Alert.

"As I'm sure you have all noticed, there has been much unrest over the past few decaorns. A rebel faction designating itself Autobot has been stirring up contention and discontent among our populace. I would urge all of you loyal listeners to avoid this organization if at all possible. They spread lies and make accusations against this honorable Council. They would have us supplanted and set up their own government in our stead. We know from history that that never ends well for anyone. I am certain it will comfort many of you loyal citizens to know that the Council cannot be threatened into submission. We will not give in to the demands of this anti-government society."

Ratchet snorted. "Anti-government," he said. "Anyone can tell he's twisting the whole thing against us."

The reporter nodded. "The law the rebels want passed seems harmless," he said. "Are you certain they mean the Council any ill will by their efforts to get it legitimized?"

"It is not about the law itself," Halogen said. "Though it is not as harmless as it seems. The real issue here is about our willingness to give in to a rebel faction. We, as a Council, refuse to be frightened by Autobot. In fact, from here on out, any mech or femme associated with that organization will be considered a public enemy. They will be considered eligible for career termination, expulsion from public or private schools, and arrest. We of the Council wish to promote peace and welfare for citizens around the world. We will not put up with anti-government propaganda and open rebellion."

Orion looked down.

Halogen continued for several breems, but mainly just repeated what he'd already said.

Once the report had ended, Jazz reached over and turned off the news.

"Well, mechs," he said softly, "I think he just declared war."

Orion nodded, and Megatronus stood. "Then we will give him war."

"Oh, really?" Ironhide stood as well. "I thought the goal of this organization was to do this peacefully."

Megatronus was about to offer a retort to that, but Orion cut him off.

"Megatronus."

Megatronus shut his lip plates, shooting Orion an annoyed glare.

"Ironhide is right," he said softly. "And Ironhide, so is Megatronus. We will give them war. But we will not be fighting with guns or blades. Our words and our sparks will be our weapons." He smiled, as he realized the implications of that. "That is the best way. We will give them a war in which they cannot retaliate in kind, because their words are hollow and their sparks are corrupt."

There was silence for a few astroseconds as we all considered that.

"Well," Megatronus said, breaking the spell. "What if they retaliate with guns and blades? What then?"

"We will have to be brave, I suppose," Orion said softly. "There are enough of us that they can't slaughter us all without risking an uprising."

"You would ask our mecha to refrain from defending themselves?" Megatronus demanded.

"Look, look," Jazz said. "Nomechs' pointed a gun at anyone yet. Why don't we wait and see if that comes up? Let's not commit ta refusing ta defend ourselves. But let's commit ta let them shoot first. Let's just make sure we don't start the fight. If they're gonna get violent, let them get violent _first."_

Megatronus deflated a little. "All right," he said. "That's reasonable."

He didn't like it, though.

"I'm sorry," Orion said.

"No," Megatronus replied. "I am. I shouldn't have spoken out against what you said," he brushed past the former archivist and left the room. _Soundwave, if you're free in a joor or two, I think I need to spar again._

"I still don't like him," Ironhide said.

"I know," Orion said. "But it isn't his fault. He really is trying. He's just used to the way things were in Kaon."

"Then he shouldn't be helping make decisions," Ironhide said. "But I'm not going to start this argument again, Orion, you know how I feel about it."

"So," Jazz said. "What are we gonna do about that," he jabbed his thumb at the blank screen we had just been watching.

"I don't know," Orion looked down. "Primus… This might get dangerous. I can't ask any of you to stay…"

"I think you should keep doing what you have been doing," Perceptor said. "Don't let them frighten _you_ into submission,"

Orion looked up.

"That sounds good to me," Roller said from the side of the room.

"Orion, you _can_ ask us to do things," Elita said. "We're _giving_ you that support freely. What do _you_ think we should do?"

"What Perceptor said." Orion looked around at everyone. "We won't change our approach, and we won't let the Council stop us." _I wish I didn't have to ask them all to put themselves in danger…_

"Okay," Accord said. "Soundwave, can you send out a mass message to let everyone know we're just going to continue as normal. Orion, do you want to write it?"

"Yes," Orion said. "I'll have it within a joor. Let's get back to work everyone."


	75. First Blood

We had hoped that the Council would be willing to work with us. But the effect of their refusal was nearly as beneficial to the cause as the effect of their cooperation would have been, and Autobot's numbers rose dramatically over the next decaorn. We organized rallies all over Iacon, Polyhex, Altihex, and Kalis every orn, and tried to have at least one representative from the core group at each one. The Council, true to their word, started arresting our mecha, but they couldn't arrest all of us.

The good news didn't last forever, though.

Orion, Megatronus and I were sitting up in the meeting room, with my symbionts. Laserbeak had figured out that Megatronus was Searchlight, but had agreed with me very quickly that no one needed to be told about it. Frenzy had come close to figuring it out. He'd told Rumble twice since the gladiator had joined us that Megatronus was similar to Searchlight. But both times, Rumble had laughed at him and insisted that they looked nothing alike.

Red Alert commed me and I hesitated, then reluctantly answered. He spoke before I could.

" _Something's not right. Check your inbox."_

I looked back at my computer screen, then pulled up my messages. I'd gotten about fifteen in the last breem. I opened a few of them and skimmed their contents, spark sinking.

"Orion?" I said hesitantly.

He and Megatronus stopped talking and looked in my direction.

Jazz burst into the room. "Hey," he said. "Mechs, the enforcers are attacking one of our gatherings."

"What?" Orion said, horrified.

"Yeah," Jazz said. "I don't know how it started, but mecha are getting hurt."

"Where?" Orion demanded.

"Sector eight," I said, as two more messages showed up in my inbox.

"Was it a scheduled gathering?" Megatronus asked.

"Yes," Orion said. "There was going to be a meeting in sector eight this orn. I think Roller was going to lead it. Hold on, let me comm. him."

We waited, as he attempted to contact the other mech, but Roller wasn't answering. Jazz had an open comm. line to someone watching it play out, though. It didn't sound like it was going well for our mecha.

"I think they're gonna arrest them all," Jazz said. "Pit… hey, Soundwave, ya think ya can…"

I nodded, fingers flying over the keyboard. Hacking the surveillance cameras in that sector of the city would normally have taken me a solid twenty breems, but the other three came to watch over my shoulder and I was able to pick up some tricks from Jazz's processor as I went. I had a visual in four breems.

We missed most of the action, but the enforcers were still swarming the area, arresting stragglers, and dragging away bodies.

 _Are those mecha offline?_ Orion stared at the screen. _We need to find out if they’re all right… this is my fault. It’s my fault if those mecha…_

"We gotta find someone who was closer ta the action," Jazz said. "'Wave, can ya send out a message asking for information about it?"

I looked at him.

"Soundwave," he corrected himself. "Sorry, mech."

I didn't acknowledge his apology, but did turn back to my computer console and started composing a message to send out to everyone.

"What if mecha offlined?" Orion asked out loud.

"Then mecha offlined," Megatronus said. "It isn't as if… you _really_ thought you could challenge the Council and not see any sort of violent retaliation? Orion Pax, this world doesn’t work like that." _These foolish idealists... I'm going to have to watch them all die, aren't I? Like my friends in the mines..._

I started getting comms and I answered two simultaneously, while transferring the next three to Jazz. One of mine was a femme who wanted to know what was going on, but the other had been there and seen the fight.

Jazz had better luck than me. He got a mech who'd been right in the middle of the fighting, but who had managed to avoid getting arrested. He listened with a sinking spark as the mech described what had happened.

"Jazz?" Orion said. "What is it?"

"… _pit, I can't believe I made it out. I don't know if they're going to leave the bodies behind or take them, though. I think there were at least three or four offline, and there were a lot of injured too, and everyone was screaming…"_

"Jazz?"

It was an internal comm, so Jazz could talk to us without interrupting the mech on the line.

"Pretty sure there were casualties," Jazz said quietly.

"… _pit, I can't believe that happened."_

Orion looked down. "Do we know if Roller's all right?" he asked. _Is it wrong to ask that? I should be just as upset if_ anyone _has offlined…_

"The mech I'm talking to right now thinks he saw..." Jazz said. "I mean, it's easy ta get confused, and Roller might not be _offline,_ but he's badly hurt at the very least."

I finished my conversations and answered a few more comms.

"Is there any way to confirm that?" Megatronus asked.

"We're working on it," Jazz said, and I passed him another conversation.

Within a few breems, we had pretty much confirmed that Roller was dead.

Orion buried his helm in his arms on the table. _I can't believe it… I just…_

Megatron glared down at his clawed, silver hands. _They’ve shown their true colors. This will help me convince Orion that we need to act. We can_ do _something about this. This isn't like in Kaon. This time I'm not in chains. This time I can fight back. The Iacon Councilmechs have signed their death sentences this orn._

"I'm real sorry, Orion," Jazz said.

Orion took in a shaky vent and let it out in a huff.

Megatronus stood. _But there will be time for vengeance later. Orion is not accustomed to losing friends. I remember how hard it was at first._ He walked over and put a hand on Orion's shoulder.

Jazz shook his helm. "I'm gonna go see if there's anything left in sector eight. Maybe I can find some more eyewitnesses there."

"Okay," Orion said, raising his helm again.

Jazz left. I followed him with my range until he had left Perceptor's house.

"This was always a possibility," Megatronus said gruffly. "You knew that."

"I did," Orion whispered. "But… by the Allspark, he can't really be _dead_ can he? This is my fault…"

"No," Megatronus said firmly. "Roller knew the risks, probably better than you did. You can't blame yourself when other mecha get hurt following you."

I went back to focusing on the mecha I was talking to over the comm. I needed to figure out exactly what had happened, and try to find out the designations of anyone else who had been offlined or injured, as well as everyone who had been arrested.

Word got around quickly. Elita showed up before long.

"I heard about Roller," she said as soon as she came in. "Oh, Orion…"

Orion stood just as she reached him, and they held each other silently, both on the verge of crying. Both of them had known Roller before Autobot had even started.

I wondered why I didn't feel the loss as keenly as the others. I probably would just have felt numbness if I didn't have Orion and Elita's raw pain echoing through my emotional core.

After nearly a breem, Orion and Elita let go of each other and went to sit at the table, across from Megatronus. Elita slipped her hand into Orion's, and he shuttered his optics and took another deep vent.

"I wonder…" she said. "I wonder if anyone's told Ironhide."

"I'll… I'll comm. him." Orion shuttered his optics and opened up a comm. channel with the guard, who was on duty at the time.

Ironhide answered. _"Hello, Orion… I really shouldn't talk right now."_

" _Oh… sorry…"_ Orion said.

" _Can this wait until after my shift?"_

" _No. I mean, maybe it should, but…"_

" _Uh… what's wrong?"_

" _There was some trouble at one of our gatherings this orn, and some mecha were…"_

Ther was silence on the other end.

"… _were killed. I'm so sorry, Ironhide."_

" _Who?"_

" _Roller."_

Ironhide was silent again.

" _I'm sorry…"_

" _I'll come by after my shift,"_ Ironhide said. _"I can't… talk right now."_ He cut the comm.

Orion sighed.

Elita scooted closer and peered up into Orion's faceplate. "Orion?"

"I told him," Orion said. "He… didn't have time to talk. He'll come here after his shift."

We all sat in silence for several breems. Elita leaned her helm against Orion's arm.

Ratchet showed up about twenty breems after that. He had also heard about the incident. "Orion… you've all heard, haven't you?"

Orion nodded. "I don't know what we should do now..."

"Well," Ratchet said, "What _can_ we do? He's dead, slag it!"

Elita winced.

"But there are others," Ratchet said. "In the detention center. Some of them were injured and I doubt they'll get any medical care."

Orion looked up.

"We need to get them out," Ratchet said.

"Yes…" Megatronus said. "We need to let our mecha know this has happened. And we need to confront the Council. Maybe if we gathered at the detention center..."

"No," Orion said. "No. Not now. I don't want anyone else to get hurt."

"Orion, mecha are getting hurt whether you like it or not," Megatronus said. "All over the world. Just because you don't always know them personally doesn't mean it doesn't happen."

"Leave him alone," Elita snapped at Megatronus. "We've just lost a friend. Don't you know what that's like?"

"Yes," Megatronus growled. "And I know that moping about it never changes anything."

I finished my message explaining the situation. "Orion?"

He looked up, then saw what I was doing and got up to come read it, reminding himself that he still had work to do, that he still needed to be in charge.

He approved my message and I sent it out.

* * *

Over the next joor, a lot of mecha showed up at Perceptor's house, including Elita's sisters. I also got more than a hundred messages asking what we were going to do now, and whether we were going to retaliate, stop the campaign, or keep going as we had been. Orion had yet to decide, so I let the questions pile up in my inbox.

Ironhide came when his shift was over. Chromia crossed the room to meet him in the doorway, and he put an arm around her shoulder and let her guide him over to the table.

His grief was nearly overpowering, even for me, but he held it in, comforted somewhat by Chromia's presence. He sat at the table, and she climbed into his lap and rested her helm against his chestplate, just above where his spark chamber was. He put an arm around her and shuttered his optics.

"So sorry, 'Hide," she muttered into the now-silent room.

The silence stretched on a long time. No one wanted to break it. Finally, Megatronus spoke.

"We need to decide on a course of action," he said it quietly, almost gently.

"Next orn," Orion had had some time to think now. "We should take an orn off. We'll stop all the gatherings and we'll stop petitioning the Council. Then, the orn after that, we'll all meet at the detention center where they have our mecha and demand that they release them. And Soundwave, I want you to send something to everyone in the world that you can reach about how sorry we are that this came to violence." _It was the last thing I wanted. The_ last _thing. Was it really inevitable, like Megatronus seems to think?_ "For now… just let everyone know that all of the things we scheduled for next orn need to be cancelled."

I nodded, and prepared a mass message that explained what we were going to do and why. I gave Orion and the others about a joor to think it through, in case they changed their minds, then sent it.

We sat in silence for a while after that. Then Megatronus got up and left. Rumble and Frenzy got a little rowdy, so I had to take them down to my room before going back up to the meeting room.

When I entered, Ironhide looked up. "I'm going home," he said. "I'll see you all next orn,"

He and Chromia got up. He tried to lead her to the door, but she stopped and took her hand from his. He glanced back at her, feeling hurt and a little abandoned, but she shot him a small, tight smile.

"I'll catch up, just give me a breem."

He nodded and left the room. Chromia walked to the door and turned around, crossing her arms. "I knew this would happen." She spoke with a bit of a sob in her voice, but only bitterness in her optics. "I knew it would come to this. Frag you all, you stupid…" she trailed off with an angry huff. "We'd all be better off if you'd never started this, Orion Pax," she said. Then she turned and stormed away after Ironhide, who was waiting for her in the front room.

The next orn, everyone stayed inside. I wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, but it was nice to get a break, even if it was for such an unfortunate reason.

Several mecha were confirmed offline, Roller among them. Their frames were taken to a government scrapyard instead of public ones, but Jazz and I managed to hack into the security cameras there and find them among the others. The Council made no apology, or even mention of their deaths, and the incident was barely mentioned on the news, but we did out best to make sure the whole world knew about it.

Ironhide came in after his shift, and Chromia with him. They were bonded now, I noted. Their sparks pulsed on a different rhythm now, in sync with each other. I pulled my range back. I didn't want to deal with other mecha right now.

I had plans to stay in my room for the entire orn, because I hadn't recharged very well, but Megatronus wanted to spar later on in the orn, so we went and when we came back from that, I followed him up to the meeting room. Orion was about to call a meeting anyway, so I wouldn't have been able to seclude myself for much longer.

Mecha showed up one by one for the meeting. Elita was one of the first. She came in and went to embrace Chromia.

"I'd congratulate you," she whispered, "But now's really not the time, is it?"

Chromia shook her helm, tightening her grip around her sister, before letting go. Then the blue femme backed up to take Ironhide's hand.

"I told her it didn't have to be now," Ironhide said.

"But it did," Chromia responded curtly. "And I wouldn't have wanted some sort of stupid party anyway." _Ironhide needed me now._

Elita nodded.

When everyone had arrived, Orion called the room to order, and everyone turned to face him.

"First of all," he said. "I'd like to have a few moments of silence for the mecha from Autobot who died last orn."

The room fell still. Chromia squeezed Ironhide's hand, and everyone looked down.

After a breem or so of silence, Orion spoke again.

"We're here this orn to discuss our future. We know what we're going to do next orn, and the orn after that, but eventually something like this may happen again. It's almost inevitable."

Everyone looked down again.

"I've never asked anyone to die before," Orion said. "But… Roller would have been here, in this meeting if… I…" Orion shuttered his optics. "It's entirely possible that any of us here this orn could suffer his same fate."

Silence.

"I wanted to warn all of you… and give you an opportunity to back out. I will continue to make attempts to convince the Council to reform. But I want all of you to know what you're committing to if you stay with Autobot. I don't want to ask this of any of you. And in fact, I can't, which is why I'm bringing this up. None of us will think any less of you if you leave."

Silence fell again.

"Orion," Perceptor said at length. "You know I had reservations about this in the past. But you can only turn a blind optic for so long before there's no going back. I think I can say this for most of us, if not all of us. We can't afford to quit now, despite what we lost last orn. If we stop, it won't prevent mecha from being killed. Mecha like Roller, like Searchlight, like Shockwave. Or like the countless thousands who die as slaves in mines and factories. But if we keep going, we have a chance of stopping those deaths. Even if it's at the potential expense of our own lives, we can't give away that chance."

Silence fell again.

"Well said," Megatronus put in quietly.

"I'm in," Jazz added. "I don't know what else I'd do, Orion. And if I offline working for Autobot, at least I offline doing something I can be proud of."

"I can second that," another mech put in.

Soon, the whole room had given its assurances that they were in, all the way. Only a few of them had doubts or reservations.

"Thank you," Orion said, looking down. He was suddenly overcome with emotion, and Megatronus stepped in to pick up where he'd left off.

"We know it's a lot we're asking. But I'm proud to stand with all of you. Now let's discuss what our next move is..."

* * *

The next orn, we left early to go to the detention center. Everyone but Perceptor came—we were still trying to pretend he had nothing to do with Autobot. Jazz and I stayed close to Orion and Megatronus, prepared to get them out of danger if the need arose, but on the way we gathered such a large crowd that I was pretty sure we would be fine. Our inactivity the orn before seemed to have given everyone a chance to make the decision to come to this event. We had mecha from all over, including other city-states. By the time we reached the detention center, there was already a large crowd there, and our enormous escort joined it, doubling it.

Mecha kept coming.

Orion made his way to the front of the crowd and called for quiet. They had loudspeakers along all the streets in the city, and Jazz and I had hacked the ones we might need earlier, just in case the crowd was too large for Orion's voice to carry over. I activated them, and commed Orion and Megatronus instructions on how to connect with them.

"Mecha of Iacon," Orion said calmly over the speakers. "I thank you all for coming to stand with me this orn. Please contact your friends, and everyone you know. Invite them to join us. The more mecha we have here, the better."

Sirens wailed in the distance. Jazz glanced in their direction, analyzing the sound to judge their distance and speed. We had less than a breem.

Mecha in the crowd heard, but if those in my range were a valid sample, these mecha weren't very afraid. There were too many of us, and we were ready for a fight. This crowd wasn't going to put up with losing any more mecha. If they tried to arrest Orion or Megatronus, there was going to be a whole lot of the kind of trouble Orion didn't want.

But this time, unlike in secondary school, there was nothing I could do to stop it. So I stood and waited, sick with anticipation, pushing my range out until my helm started to hurt.

A large group of enforcers came racing around the corner. We all heard more sirens coming from various directions as well. They were surrounding us.

There was no way they could arrest a crowd this big, though. There had to be thousands of us.

The chief of Central Iacon enforcement transformed and approached. The tension in the atmosphere was almost tangible.

"Stop right there," Megatron growled, stepping out to meet the mech, and his voice echoed over the loudspeakers. I wasn't quite close enough to hear his thoughts, and I didn't want to expand my range any farther.

The mech took another step, and I could feel the crowd preparing itself.

Apparently the chief could sense our mood, and stopped. "This is an illegal gathering!" he shouted. "You are hereby commanded to disperse, by the order of the Iacon Central High Council."

"There are mecha in this facility who were wrongfully imprisoned," Orion said calmly, joining Megatronus in front of the crowd, and gesturing toward the detention center. "Some of them are injured. We will wait here until they are released."

"You're in no position to make demands."

"We aren't making demands," Megatronus said. "We're making a statement. We're not going to leave until we have all the imprisoned mecha back. If that takes a decaorn, then we'll wait here for a decaorn."

The mech glared, though he took a step back. Megatronus was intimidating.

The two leaders of Autobot turned and went back to rejoin the crowd.

Jazz commed me, and I realized he wasn't in my range any more. How had I missed that?

" _Hey, more mecha are arriving, but enforcement's not letting them join the crowd."_

I tilted my helm to the side. _"That's only a problem if they start fighting. They can make another crowd outside the ring of enforcement."_

" _And surround them,"_ Jazz continued. _"I like that. I'll see if I can slip out and talk ta them about that."_

"You are ordered to disperse," the chief of enforcement repeated.

"And what if we don't?" Megatronus asked, turning around again. "Are you going to kill us too, like you brutally murdered our friends two orns ago? You might find that more difficult this time."

Orion looked at Megatronus, frowning. "We…" he said, then shook his helm. "We are not here for violence. We are here to recover those who were wrongfully imprisoned two orns ago. When they are released, then we will peacefully disperse. Those are our conditions."

"As I said before," the mech growled. "You are in no position to make demands."

Orion put a hand on Megatronus's shoulder and spoke quietly to him for a moment. Megatronus nodded, and Orion turned back to look at the chief of enforcement. "In that case, I don't believe we have anything else to talk about."

The two of them turned and rejoined the crowd. They came into my range and I approached them, shrinking it as I did. I was starting to work up a pretty bad processor ache.

"And now we wait," Megatronus said quietly. "I hope this works, Orion."

"It will work," Orion said, then spoke over the loudspeaker. "Mecha of Iacon! We do have a right to demand peace and equality. We have a right to stand here and make our voices heard. We have a right, not because the Council wills it, but because this is our city. Iacon is not made up of buildings, but of mecha. We are Iacon!"

The crowd roared. Megatronus shuttered his optics and vented it in, basking in the powerful rush of sound.

I slipped through the crowd to the edge, in part because I didn't like having so many mecha on all sides of me, and in part because I wanted to be close enough to hear any orders given to the nearby enforcers.

They were frightened. The crowd was the empowered force and everyone knew it.

But despite Orion's confidence, I didn't trust them not to attack. It would only take the slightest provocation.

They started to cheer again, shouting together, united. There were so many of us.

The chief of enforcement shouted at us, but no one could hear what he was saying. The enforcers in my range got a comm. letting them know to be prepared for a fight.

Then everything quieted down. The crowd was still growing.

This wasn't going to last much longer.

Then there was a loud beep and a new voice rang out over different speakers—these ones mounted on the walls of the detention center.

"Hey, chief," the voice said brightly. "This is the warden of the Iacon Central Eighth detention center and… well, you might want to get out of the way."

An expectant hush spread out over the crowd.

"…Because I'm about to open the door."

"What?" the chief of enforcement snapped. "You aren't authorized to…"

But then he was drowned out by the crowd. The detention center's doors opened and mecha started pouring out. The mecha at the front of the crowd rushed forward, and I went with them, afraid of being trampled. Enforcement fled, hurrying to get out of our way as we stampeded toward the prisoners. Some just stared, but others rushed to meet us, cheering as well. Both Orion and the prison warden started shouting over the loudspeakers for everyone to calm down as the group of prisoners coming out the doors of the detention center was absorbed by an exuberant, triumphant crowd.

It took half a joor to convince everyone to back off enough that all the imprisoned members of Autobot could actually get out the front doors of the detention center. The injured were taken to a nearby building and treated by Ratchet and several other medics who'd volunteered. Orion, ever true to his word, tried to disperse the crowd, but it took almost a full joor because everyone was so excited.

No one had won this sort of victory in decavorns.

We sent Megatronus and Orion back once the crowd was mostly gone, but I stayed with Ratchet to make sure he got back safely.

He didn't consider himself finished until late in the off-cycle when every last patient was walking and on his or her way to recovery. I sat in the corner and waited until he was finally done.

He stumbled over to me. "All right," he said, exhausted but pleased with himself. "We can go back now."

I dragged myself to my pedes. My helm felt like it was about to fall to pieces. Ratchet, oblivious as ever, led the way out of the building, and down to a lower level of the city, grumbling about the Council's poor treatment of prisoners. As soon as we were somewhere secluded, he called for a groundbridge.

"Well," he said, once we were back in Perceptor's house. "I'm ready to recharge for a decaorn."

I nodded slightly. That sounded really nice about now.

"Want some energon first?" Ratchet asked.

I shook my helm. I didn't feel like doing anything but curling up on my berth with my symbionts piled on top of me.

"Are you all right?" Ratchet suddenly realized I'd been in a crowd all orn.

I didn't answer, just left. It wasn't the worst processor ache I'd ever had, and my symbionts would be able to help me more than Ratchet could. In half a joor, I was comfortably recharging.

* * *

Within a few orns, the Council made its next move. We were alerted to it when Jazz came bounding into the meeting room and turned on the news.

"What's going on?" Orion asked, from his spot at the table.

"Council's gonna talk," Jazz said. "I figure we wanna listen ta them and see what they've got ta say."

We watched some reporters talk about the things that had happened the orn before. It had been all over the news, all over the world. Many channels had been showing live feed of the crowd when the detention center had finally set the imprisoned mecha free. Hundreds of thousands had been watching that—watching us.

It occurred to me that that prison warden had probably lost his job, at the very least.

Then they started talking about the Council, and how there were rumors that Autobot had come up in a Council session, and that there had been some sort of decision made about it.

Finally, they revealed that Halogen had another statement to make over the news. We all waited expectantly as Halogen's faceplate came up on the screen.

"Good mecha of Iacon," he said. "We have further discussed the rebel faction designating itself Autobot. They have become more and more of a nuisance as time has gone on. In response to this, we have come to a decision. We have passed a law, which will be put in effect starting two orns from this orn. Effort is being put forward to discover every member of Autobot, and after two orns, no known member of that organization will be permitted to enter any government-funded buildings whatsoever. In addition, we have modified our recent legislature about meetings. Any large meeting held by, or about the organization calling itself Autobot, will now be considered illegal, regardless of numbers or permits, and if there is such a meeting, every mech and femme who participates _will_ be arrested. If need be, we will fill the detention centers. The Council is committed to keeping the peace, and we are willing to go to any length to prevent rioting and unrest. Thank you."

The screen went back to the reporters, now discussing Halogen's declaration.

"Well, great," Ratchet said.

Orion sighed. "I… don't want a repeat of three orns ago."

We all looked up again as we caught Megatronus's designation.

"…former gladiator Megatronus," one of the reporters was saying. "Apparently, they have been confirmed as the same mech."

"It's not really a surprise," the other reporter said. "But now it's official."

"Yes," the first mech continued. "And now there's a reward on his helm. Eighty thousand credits to any mech who can bring this 'Megatron' back to Kaon and return him to the gladiator rings."

"His 'crime' so to speak is debt evasion," the second mech said, "But if he and Autobot are to be believed, he was actually a slave there, and was making the mecha who run the gladiator rings a _lot_ of credit."

The first mech glanced at the second in what almost seemed like surprise. "Whatever the charges, there's a price on his helm now. We'll just have to see if his rebel associates—who must be hurting for money now—are willing to turn him in."

"Primus," Ratchet said. "Turn that thing off, would you? Bunch of slagging lies. Turn him in. By the Allspark, who do they think we are?"

Orion shook his helm. "They can say what they want."

Megatronus looked down.

"We would never send you back to Kaon," Orion assured him quietly.

"I know," Megatronus said, and stood to leave the room.

* * *

Things didn't get better with the news. Originally, it hadn't portrayed us as necessarily bad, but as the orns went on, the Council's hand in the media was clearer and clearer. Two decaorns later, we were being described as thieves and murderers, and the lies kept coming.

We kept having meetings, though most of them were smaller, and we were more careful about keeping them secret.

Two decaorns after our victory at the detention center, we had another large meeting. Mecha gathered from all over the city. There was a grim determination in the atmosphere as Orion spoke. His words were of encouragement, but everyone could see how tired he was, and he could see it in them too. He spoke quickly, then opened the floor for questions.

One mech stood up, and Orion called on him.

"Mr. Pax," he said, "I… I know I'm not the only one, and I don't want to complain, but I just wanted to know if there's anything I can do. I've been fired from my job because I'm part of Autobot. A lot of us have been."

Orion was taken aback. "How many of you. By a show of hands."

At least fifty went up. And that was just in a small crowd of four hundred or so.

I was surprised. We'd had a few complaints about that, but not this many.

"It's not so bad for me," the standing mech continued. "I have a little credit saved up, and I'm just providing for myself. But some of us have sparklings."

"I…." Orion said, "I don't know what to tell you."

"There has to be something," the mech said.

_We can't support all of them. We don't have an income. Once we run out of the credit we have, we'll have to beg for more… there's no way we can help all of them._

"When things become more difficult," Megatronus said, stepping forward to stand next to Orion, "I have found that the best thing you can do is keep standing. When the last of your strength gives out, keep standing. Eventually, if you utterly refuse to give up, you will find a way to overcome your difficulties."

Searchlight was strong, though. These mecha, they were ordinary. Few of them were encouraged by his words.

He could tell. I could read his mind and I still wasn't entirely sure how he could sense the mood of a crowd so well. "If it was my call," he said. "I would be preparing you to fight for your freedom, and earn it that way, but I am afraid that would be foolish." He glanced at Orion. "That is why we have Orion. Listen to him. He knows what he's talking about."

Orion looked down, then up again. "Thank you for letting me know this is such a problem," he said. "I will consider our options and do everything in my power to come up with a solution. For now, I ask you to be patient. Those of you who still have your jobs, please help your unfortunate friends who can no longer support themselves. And if any of you really need it, Autobot has credit we can hand out. But we don't have enough for everyone."

They nodded, and the questions continued.

The meeting might have gone on for nearly a joor, but it was cut short when enforcement arrived.

They came in from every side, guns out. There was a subdued sort of panic in the audience as mecha stood. It felt like this wasn't happening—like it couldn't be happening.

Jazz got up on the stage and put a hand on Orion's arm. "Time ta go," he said.

"No one move," An enforcer walked toward the stage. "All of you are under arrest. If you come quietly, we won't use force."

Jazz commed Red Alert. _"Hey, Red, we need a bridge_ right now. _As in ten astroseconds ago."_

" _I'm on it, what's happening?"_

" _Enforcers." Slag, if we get arrested, we're all dead. They'll send Megs back ta the mines and probably kill Orion and Soundwave and Primus knows they can pick and choose what ta execute me for._

Enforcers converged on the stage. Jazz backed up, dragging Orion with him, and Megatronus and I placed ourselves in between them and the enforcers.

"Orion Pax," the enforcer who seemed to be in charge said, stepping forward. "You are under arrest for high treason against the City of Iacon and…"

A groundbridge opened up ten paces away.

"Bye!" Jazz said. "Go, Orion!"

Orion hesitated, looking out over the audience and the enforcers charged forward.

"Go!" Megatronus said.

Orion ran.

Megatronus tackled one of the enforcers.

Mecha in the crowd screamed and ran for the exits. The enforcers tried to stop them, but they flooded past. Someone's gun went off, and there was more screaming, and then more weapon fire.

Jazz was hit several times. His armor absorbed most of it, but one shot broke his wrist. I felt his pain, but he kept going, backing toward the groundbridge, and shouting over the screaming crowd for Megatronus and I to fall back and go through the bridge.

Megatronus heard him, fired his cannon twice to cover his retreat, and ran toward the bridge. Jazz and I followed him. Weapon fire chased us through, hitting various things in Perceptor's basement before Red Alert slammed the bridge shut.

Silence fell.

"Well," Megatronus said quietly. "That could have gone better."

"Primus, what did we do?" Orion asked.

" _You_ didn't do anything," Megatronus said.

Jazz sat down on a box watching dully as energon dripped from his shattered wrist to the floor.

"What do you mean?" Red Alert asked optics narrow.

"Some of those enforcers aren't getting back up," Megatronus said.

Red Alert's optics widened. "What! You…. you _killed enforcers?_ "

"Well, they did attack me."

Perceptor was surveying the damage to his basement. "Do you think we should move the groundbridge. If something like that happens again… there _are_ volatile things in this basement."

"You _KILLED ENFORCERS?_ " Red Alert screeched.

Jazz winced. "Calm down, would ya?"

"I didn't have a choice," Megatronus said.

Orion sat down and put his helm in his hands. "I can't believe that happened." _What if there are casualties again? What if I got mecha hurt? What if I got them killed? Primus, I did get them killed. Those enforcers were just doing their job._

"Jazz," Perceptor said suddenly. "You need to see Ratchet."

Orion looked over at him. "Oh, Primus, I didn't notice…"

"I'm okay," Jazz stood. "It's just my hand, I can fix it myself."

"We might as well give up now!" Red Alert said. "They're going to hunt us down and kill us all!"

"Shut up," Megatronus said. "No one wants to hear your screechy little voice."

"This is _your_ fault!" Red Alert shouted. "If we hadn't brought you here…"

"Then you'd be absolutely nowhere," Megatronus stepped toward Red Alert, looming over him.

Red Alert skittered back, terrified, but not quite done talking. "Well that might be better than _this!_ If I had my wish, you'd be back in the mines where you belong."

"Hey, hey," Jazz stepped between the two of them. "Calm down, both of ya. It's all right. Nomech's going back ta the mines, and they _ain't_ gonna find us and kill us, all right."

"Get out of the way," Megatronus glared at Jazz.

Jazz tilted his helm up, lip plates set in a grim line. "Ya need ta calm down," he said. "Before ya do something ya'll regret."

Megatronus deflated a little and backed up.

"And you!" Red Alert said. "I suppose _you_ killed some enforcers too."

Jazz turned around, feeling hurt. "I haven't killed anymech since before I went ta jail."

I sent out a request to all the mecha who I knew had been at the meeting to ask if they'd gotten away, and waited for responses.

They started trickling in. Some didn't answer. Some said they'd seen that a small group had been taken by the enforcers.

No one was sure whether or not there were casualties, though some said they thought there had been at least two enforcers killed. Orion got up eventually.

"Let's go upstairs," he said.

We climbed the stairs and went to the meeting room, where Ratchet and Ironhide were talking. They stopped and stared when they saw the looks on the newcomers' faceplates.

"What… what happened?" Ironhide asked.

"Enforcement showed up," Orion explained. "We had to run for it… it got a little out of hand. We still don't know if anyone was killed."

"Except for some enforcers," Red Alert snapped. "Thanks to the gladiator."

Ironhide glanced at Megatronus, who glared at Red Alert.

"What happened to your hand!" Ratchet snapped suddenly. "No, don't tell me." He walked over and grabbed Jazz's arm. Jazz stiffened, but Ratchet was gentle while prodding at his wrist. "Hmm…" he said. "Come with me." He led the way out of the room, heading for his office on the main floor. Jazz followed reluctantly.

"So," Megatronus said. "What do we do now?"

Orion got a comm. from Elita, which he answered immediately.

" _Yes?"_

" _Are you all right? I heard about the arrest, is everyone all right?"_

" _Yes… well. We made it out. Jazz was hurt, but not badly, and… I don't know what happened to the mecha from the city who came to the meeting. And Megatronus might have killed some enforcers…"_

" _Oh…"_ Elita replied. _"I… okay… that's horrible. But I'm glad you're all right. I'm coming to Perceptor's house."_

" _Then I will see you soon."_

" _Oh, Orion, I don't like wondering whether you're safe..."_

Orion looked down. _"I apologize…"_

" _Don't apologize. I just… need to talk to you about it sometime. I'll see you in a few breems."_

Orion took a deep vent and let it out as Elita cut the comm.

"Orion?" Megatronus said.

"I don't know," Orion replied. "I… we should try and figure out what happened, and how many we lost."

I displayed the numbers I knew on my screen. There were seventy-four mecha I hadn't been able to account for. It was likely most of them had been arrested.

"Should we have another gathering, like last time?" Orion wondered.

"Somehow I doubt that will work," Megatronus said. "I killed enforcers. They aren't going to be so willing to let us have our mecha back… and now I'm going to be more of a target. But I won't apologize for defending myself." He shot another glare at Red Alert.

Red Alert shied back, afraid for his life. He decided that it would probably be a good idea to avoid being alone in the same room with the gladiator. Ever.

"You're going to want to lie low for a while," Ironhide said. "Enforcement takes it personally when you kill their mecha."

Orion nodded.

"In fact, I'd suggest giving it a whole quartex," Ironhide said, "Four decaorns. Just to be safe."

Orion shuttered his optics. "Maybe… maybe _all_ of this was a bad idea."

"Orion," Perceptor said. "What happened this orn isn't your fault."

Orion looked up at the professor. "Thank you," he said, then sighed. "Ironhide's right. We should lie low for a while. Soundwave, can you call a halt to Autobot's physical activities? I think we'd better go back to publishing information about the Council's corruption for a few decaorns."

I nodded.

"Thank you," Orion said.

Elita showed up then and we had to explain to her what was going on. I sent out a message to everyone about what had happened, and tried to get more information about whether anyone had been killed, and who had been arrested.

We had taken steps forward, and now we had to decide whether to stay the course, even though mecha were getting hurt.

This was why we needed Searchlight.

He would always stay the course.


	76. Words and Sparks

Orion and Elita got bonded a decaorn later. Unlike Ironhide and Chromia, they planned it, so there was a small, quiet party at Perceptor's house beforehand.

Nothing else was going well, so it was nice to have _something_ significant happening that wasn't also bad news for us.

We had decided to take a break for four decaorns, like Ironhide had suggested. Our numbers were dropping, and we were losing ground in other ways as well. More and more of the mecha from Autobot disappeared or lost their jobs, and we had no way to help them. The media was tearing us to shreds with anti-rebellion propaganda of every kind. We weren't being completely destroyed, but weathering the storm was taking its toll on morale.

Elita and Moonracer had both moved to Perceptor's house, and it was getting unpleasantly crowded. Even though there were still a lot of empty rooms, it was starting to get to the point where leaving my range over the whole house gave me a slight processor ache at the end of the orn.

Megatronus was restless, and he wasn't the only one. Jazz got so fed up with pacing the same rooms and hallways that he started climbing around in the secret passages, just to mess with Red Alert's camera system.

Red Alert spent almost all his time in the office he'd set up for himself, waiting for disaster of some form or other to strike. Ratchet was cranky and threw things at anyone who dared to bother him.

Orion was the worst, though. Whenever he wasn’t spending time with Elita, he sat in the empty meeting room, feeling terribly guilty for everything bad that had happened to anyone in Autobot.

* * *

I was sitting in my room with my symbionts when Red Alert’s alarm went off—a high, insistent beeping that it was impossible to ignore. I got to my pedes and stretched my range out past the boundaries of the house. Red Alert had seen enforcers several streets away—he had cameras _all_ over the surrounding neighborhood—heading in our direction.

"What's that?" Frenzy asked. "My audios feel funny."

"It means we need to leave," I said. "Everyone get on."

Laserbeak attached to my back, and Ravage hopped up onto my shoulders. Then the twins climbed up to sit on Ravage. I left my room and avoided the chaos in the rest of the house by going down to the basement and detaching the groundbridge from the power supply. I opened up the secret passage and started trying to move the groundbridge into it. It was very convenient that Wheeljack and Shockwave had made the groundbridge mobile. Of course, they had needed to, or they wouldn't have been able to take it to Iacon.

Megatronus and Perceptor joined me, and between the three of us, we pushed the groundbridge a decent way down the tunnel. The enforcers came into my range and approached the door. Thankfully, we were almost finished hiding everything. It was a good thing Red Alert had made us drill for this.

"Soundwave," Perceptor said as the last few mecha made it down to the basement. "Do you know what's happening?"

"The enforcers are coming," I said.

"Hmm…" Perceptor said. "I thought so."

Everyone else joined us in the basement passage, except for Red Alert, who came in just a few astroseconds later.

"Everything's hidden," he said.

"I'd better go answer the door," Perceptor said.

"Is that wise?" Orion asked. "What if they find something? They'll arrest you."

"If I go and open the door, they won't break it down. I'm a well-known professor at the Academy, and they don't have any evidence on which to arrest me."

"Don't know if that matters at this point," Jazz said quietly.

"Stay here," Perceptor said, and left the room. He shut the door to the passageway behind himself and left us all in the dark.

We stood in silence for a breem.

"We should move down ta the other end of the passage," Jazz said. "In case they find the door."

"Should we take the groundbridge?" Elita asked.

"Uh… well, it's too bad we can't put the groundbridge through itself." Jazz said. "Primus, that would be weird. _Could_ ya put a groundbridge through itself?"

"This really isn't the time for that question, is it?" Ratchet said. "Let's just take it with us."

They started moving down the passage, but I stayed where I was.

"Soundwave," Megatronus said. "Are you coming?"

"I have to listen."

I needed to hear what was going on in the rest of the house.

The enforcers had pressed the entry request several times when Perceptor opened it up for them.

"Hello," he said, trying to sound nervous, but not _too_ nervous. "Can… can I help you?"

"We have a warrant to search your house," One of the enforcers said politely. "The Council is concerned that you're aiding the rebellion." _And if we don't find anything here, then hopefully they'll get him to tell us something about Autobot..._

"What?" Perceptor backed away from the door and they came in. "I… well, I suppose you can search my house then. I don't think you'll find anything."

"What's going on?" Frenzy asked.

"Shhh," Ravage said. "Soundwave's trying to listen to what's happening upstairs."

I commed Perceptor.

" _Yes?"_

" _They're going to arrest you."_

He hesitated, then followed the enforcers into the front room, where they started opening cupboards and digging through them. It reminded me of the time Red Alert had gone through all the cupboards, and interestingly enough, they _did_ leave listening devices there. I memorized the location of each and started thinking about how to get rid of them.

Perceptor kept following the enforcers. He thought about how he might escape, but decided it would probably be better to let them arrest him because if he disappeared, it would look suspicious.

" _Perceptor,"_ I said. _"I don't think they're just going to take you to a detention center. I think you're going to be interrogated."_ He needed to get out of there.

Perceptor hesitated again. _"Comm. Alpha Trion,"_ he said. " _Tell him what's going on. He can get me out of this."_

" _He's always busy,"_ I said. _"If you really won't leave, I will send Jazz in there to knock you out and bring you back."_

" _Don't threaten me."_

" _Please, Perceptor."_

They split up. One went to look through the rooms on the first floor, and the other went down the stairs. There was a third one, standing in the front door still, guarding it so Perceptor couldn't get away. But he could still go up to the meeting room, and through the passage there, down to the basement.

I tried to contact Alpha Trion.

And waited.

And waited.

A breem went by. The one enforcer finished searching the basement—after making an enormous mess—and went back up to join his partner.

Alpha Trion knew I didn't comm. him if it wasn't important. I tried again, just in case he was ignoring me, but in all likelihood, he was in a Council meeting and the message wasn't getting through.

" _Perceptor, Alpha Trion's not answering."_

" _Do you realize what will happen if I run away?"_ Perceptor replied, though I could hear his nervousness. _"They will watch this house so carefully that it will become impossible to use as a base."_

I hated arguing. I wasn't quite sure what to tell him. I did _not_ want him to be arrested.

" _You should have pretended you weren't home,"_ I said.

" _Well, it's too late for that, isn't it?"_

I commed Ironhide. He answered almost immediately.

" _Hello, Soundwave. More bad news, I suppose."_

" _Enforcers are searching Perceptor's house,"_ I explained. _"We're all safe—except for Perceptor—and I don't think they're going to find anything, but they're going to… I think they're going to arrest him anyway."_ In the desperation of the moment, I nearly forgot that he didn't know I could read minds. _"I need to talk to Alpha Trion. Is the Council in session?"_

" _Yes,"_ Ironhide said.

My spark sank. _"How much longer?"_

" _No telling,"_ Ironhide said. _"They've been going for a while. It could be a few breems or another half a joor. Tell Perceptor to get out of there."_

" _He won't listen."_

Ironhide's end of the channel was silent for a while, but he didn't cut the comm. _"I don't know if I can do anything,"_ he said. _"I could go in and tell him there was a message for him, but the other guard out here would be suspicious… I'll do what I can. Give me a few breems."_ He cut the comm. then, and I sighed and waited. They were done with the first floor and had gone up to the second. They barely bothered to check there. Perceptor waited at the top of the stairs for them.

"All right," one of the enforcers said. "Come." He gestured to Perceptor, and the three of them went down the stairs to join the mech at the door.

"Anything?" that mech asked.

The enforcer who seemed to be in charge shook his helm. "Nothing. Let's take him."

"Hold on a moment," Perceptor said. "I'm not helping any rebellion."

"We also have a warrant to arrest you," the enforcer turned to face him.

"But you didn't find anything, did you?" Perceptor asked. "I tell you, I'm not helping any rebellion. You have no grounds on which to arrest me."

" _Telepath."_

I jumped a little, but quickly responded to the comm. _"Alpha Trion, they're going to arrest Perceptor. I think they're going to take him to the nearest detention center and have him interrogated. There's not much time."_

" _Slow down,_ what? _No, don't repeat yourself._ _Really, Soundwave, it's like you think getting mecha out of jail is my profession or something."_

" _But…"_

" _Don't sound so desperate. Of course I'll help him. What, do you think I'm some sort of sparkless Councilmech?"_

Jazz came into my range. He and the others had pushed the bridge all the way to the other end of the tunnel and he had decided to come back and ask me what was happening.

Perceptor was still trying to talk them out of arresting him, but they were about fed up with that now.

"If you won't come quietly," the enforcer in charge said, "Then we will take you by force."

Perceptor wished he'd taken my advice. "Very well," he said.

They put him in stasis cuffs and led him out the front door.

"Hey," Jazz said. "Soundwave, what's happening?"

I hesitated a few breems. "They arrested him," I said quietly.

Jazz looked down. "Pit."

"But Alpha Trion's going to ge-e-et him out."

Jazz huffed a sigh. _I still can't believe we have a Councilmech on our side. Then again, I'm pretty sure Orion could get_ anyone _on our side if he talked to them for long enough._ "If that doesn't work, I can break him out," Jazz said.

I knew that. But that would cause the same problems that him trying to run would. It would be very, very suspicious. Better to let Alpha Trion deal with it.

"So," Jazz said. "Can we go back in?"

I shook my helm. "They put listening devices everywhere."

"Pit…" Jazz said. "Well… I guess you know where they are."

I nodded.

"But… we can't just remove them all or they'll get suspicious. Hey, why don't ya go and get rid of some of the ones upstairs, and we'll come in really quiet and through the passage that goes from the basement up ta the meeting room. Sound good?"

I nodded.

"I'll explain it ta everyone," Jazz said. "We'll be back in a few breems."

He went back down the tunnel and I knelt down.

"Everyone off," I said, and my symbionts climbed off of me, onto the floor _—_ or in Laserbeak's case, the wall. I carefully opened the secret passage and slipped into the dark basement, then made my way silently to my room. Once I'd removed the listening device they had put there, I went upstairs and collected the majority of them. I put them in a box in a mostly-empty closet. We could deal with them later.

Then I went back down to the passage to get my symbionts. The other mecha there were doing their best to bring the groundbridge back in silently. Ratchet hooked it up to its power supply—in case we really needed to use it in the near future, and we all filed into the secret passage that led up to the meeting room.

"Why are we being so quiet?" Frenzy whispered on our way up.

"I'll e-e-explain la-ate-er."

Primus, it was hard to whisper without stuttering.

"So," Orion said once we were in the meeting room. "How long do we have to wait for Alpha Trion to bring Perceptor back? Do we need to do anything to help him?"

I shrugged, and then let Ravage and the twins down onto the floor. If Alpha Trion needed us to do something, I was sure he would contact us and let us know. We sat and waited. As time progressed, everyone got more and more worried. Alpha Trion didn't comm. any of us, and we didn't want to contact him, in case he was busy.

A few mecha thought about pulling out the equipment they’d shoved into the passages, but it was too crowded in the room for that. Orion, Elita, and Moonracer chatted a little, and Jazz thought about ways to disrupt the microphones they'd left on the first floor, but for the most part, we were all too worried to say or do anything.

Then Perceptor and Alpha Trion came in. I let out a long sigh of relief as I listened through their audios to their conversation.

"So sorry about all of that," Alpha Trion said.

"Yes, well, thank you for rescuing me." _We have to be careful._ Perceptor thought. _This place could be bugged now._

"Helping the rebellion," Alpha Trion said. "You _aren't,_ are you?"

"Of course not," Perceptor said, one optic ridge raised.

"Well, then I'll leave. Good orn, Perceptor."

Perceptor nodded, and Alpha Trion left. Then the professor came up to see if we were in the meeting room.

Orion saw him first and stood. "Perceptor! Are you all right?"

"Yes," Perceptor said, before anyone else could ask him. "I'm just fine. I'm sorry if I worried you. I assume you dealt with any listening devices they put up here, if you're talking openly."

Jazz nodded. "And I think I've come up with a way ta deal with the rest of them," he said. "But don't talk openly downstairs for now."

"I've had a thought," Perceptor said. "We really need a secondary base. Somewhere we can go if this happens again. We're lucky we weren't kicked out this time."

That was definitely true.

* * *

The whole time we were taking a break from external Autobot activity, things never seemed to get better. Our numbers dropped, but we couldn't blame the mecha who were backing out. We couldn’t help them either.

Megatronus wanted to spar nearly every other orn now. At least that meant I was getting better at fighting. I had really let my skill fade since secondary school.

We took Perceptor's advice and started looking for a secondary base. It was difficult to find somewhere secure enough for Red Alert, but eventually we did find a place. It wasn't as nice as Perceptor's house, but it was good enough. Red Alert spent a whole orn there, setting up an extensive security system and we set up some equipment there and left a supply of energon as well.

It was good to have a back-up base, but it didn't even feel like an accomplishment or victory in the sea of losses. No one was excited about Autobot anymore, or enjoying themselves.

I was sitting in the meeting room, working at the computer. Jazz had the news playing on the screen on the wall, which was very distracting, but I didn't want to say anything about it.

Orion and Megatronus came in talking quietly. They stopped when they saw the news. Right at the moment it was focused on a smoking and half-collapsed building which rescue workers were attempting to pull survivors from.

"What's this?" Megatronus asked.

"Some crazy mech's been bombing hospitals and schools and stuff," Jazz said. "And, big surprise, they're blaming it on us."

As if on cue, the reporter at the scene started speaking. "As these terrorist attacks continue, we have one question for Autobot. How many innocents have to die before you finally back down…"

Orion stared at the burning hospital on the screen, spark sinking.

"Is that real?" Megatronus said, "Or did they just stage it to make us look bad?"

"It's real, mech," Jazz said. "I looked it up. This is the second, maybe the third bombing. I can't find any evidence it's connected ta us, though."

"It could be," Orion looked down. "A lot of other groups have been inspired by Autobot."

Jazz shrugged, but couldn't refute that.

Orion sat down, dwelling dully on the fact that somewhere, innocent mecha were dying and it could be because of his actions.

After a few breems, I was finished with what I was doing, and got up to leave and go down to my room.

Orion, prompted by my movement, got up as well. "I'm going out," he announced quietly.

Megatronus looked up at him. "What?"

"I need some fresh atmosphere. I've been in this house too long."

"You can't just… go walk around the city," Megatronus said.

I hesitated in the doorway. I had been feeling cooped up as well. "I'll go with him," I said. "We'll be careful."

Orion shot a small smile and a few grateful thoughts in my direction. Jazz shut the news off, stood, and stretched. "I'll go too. I'm sick of this place."

"Shall we go then?" Orion asked. "Megatronus, do you…"

"No thank you," Megatronus said. "You'll need someone to sit by the groundbridge and wait for things to go wrong so you can bridge back."

Orion raised an optic ridge. "We'll be careful," he promised.

"Not if you have me with you. I'm easy to pick out in a crowd." Megatronus said, "Go on, the three of you. And I wouldn't invite anyone else. If you have too big a party, you'll be noticed for certain."

"Okay," Orion said. _I guess I shouldn't ask Elita then. I think she's busy anyway._ He led the way down to the basement, then out the back way. I knew what he wanted to do. It was inadvisable, but I did think he deserved it so I didn't try to talk him out of it.

We walked on the upper streets. I felt particularly vulnerable here, and kept my range expanded so I'd notice anyone who saw us and decided to comm. the enforcers.

"So," Jazz said. "Do we have a destination of some sort?"

"Sort of," Orion said. "There's an eventual destination. First… I wonder if I could ask a favor of you."

"Sure thing," Jazz said. "Ask away."

Tem breems later found Orion and I out of sight around a corner and Jazz walking toward the energon treat stand Orion had used to buy from.

"Hello," he said.

The mech nodded. "What can I get you?" he asked, with a friendly smile.

"I need, like… fifty, nah, make it a hundred energon treats."

The mech blinked, then narrowed his optics. "What for?"

"Well," Jazz said, surprised at how suspicious the other mech seemed. "Bit of a story. I've been out off work for near two quarters, but now it ain't hard ta find it. So long as you're not part of the rebellion. I got a nice easy job at a primary school, watching sparklings. But ya gotta have something ta keep them quiet, ya know. I saw your stand and though hey, there's the answer ta my problems. So how much'll that be?"

"I'll give you a discount if you're getting them in bulk," the mech said.

"That'd be great," Jazz said. "Thanks."

The mech gave him the price and he paid and then subspaced the large bag of assorted treats that he'd gotten. He walked away to join us again, and we turned and went the other way to circle around and head for Maccadam's.

Jazz passed the energon treats to Orion. "Okay, mech, now ya have ta tell me what these are for."

"You'll see," Orion said with a bit of a smile.

We actually got farther than we usually did before we were approached by a youngling. The little mech had been running an errand for his creators, but when he saw Orion, he completely forgot about it and came sprinting over.

"Orion! Orion!"

Orion stopped and the youngling skidded to a halt in front of him. "Hello, Sodium," he said, un-subspacing an energon treat. "How have you been?"

The youngling accepted the offered treat. "Great."

"How's everyone else?"

Sodium shrugged. "I don't know. I'm really glad you're back. Where did you go?"

"I've been very busy," Orion said. "I had to stay inside for a while."

"I'll go find everyone and tell them you're here, Sodium said, and ran off before Orion could apologize for abandoning them.

Jazz glanced at me. _What the pit was that?_

A few breems later, a group of sparklings and younglings came running out from a side street and practically tackled Orion. He handed out energon treats, nearly losing track of who had one and who didn't as they clamored and tugged on his arms and legs. They were so excited to see him that they almost didn't care about the energon treats. Almost.

Before he was finished talking to them, another group showed up. Jazz backed up and watched, amused, as Orion knelt in a growing crowd of sparklings.

Orion called each of them by designation as he handed out candy, overcome with something halfway between happiness and sorrow. He hadn't seen these sparklings for so long, and he had missed them without knowing it. There were a few new ones, who had moved into the area since the last time he'd been this way, and their friends eagerly introduced them to him.

The topic of discussion fluctuated, but was brought back every time a new group joined the swelling horde to why Orion had been gone so long. He had to assure them again and again that he had not been hurt, and had not been in jail. He felt awful that he had left them for so long and that they had been worried. But he kept a smile fixed on his faceplate.

Eventually things calmed down enough that he could get up and start walking again, albeit with several sparklings clinging to his legs and one who had climbed all the way up to his shoulders and had her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

Others joined and the crowd grew. We attracted a lot of attention, but few mecha recognized that crazy mech with all the sparklings as Orion Pax, co-leader of Autobot. None of the ones who did recognize him felt like turning him in at the moment.

The sparklings tried to talk him into playing a game with them, but he smilingly insisted that he couldn't. He didn't want to push his luck too far.

When we reached Maccadam's, they were all sad. They demanded to know if he'd come again soon and he had to tell them that he couldn't. The little sparkling riding on his shoulder started crying, and that set a bunch of the others off. Orion knelt and carefully pried her away from his neck. He enfolded her in his arms and the other sparklings gathered around, pressing in, some sniffling or sobbing quietly.

"It'll be all right," he said. "Really. I will come and see all of you again, I promise." _I just don't know when._

Then he got up and walked into Maccadam's with us. They called goodbyes after him, and he turned to wave.

Then we were in a world of dim lighting, loud talking, and faint music. We sat down together at an empty table.

"Well," Jazz said. "That was not something I would have expected, but I honestly can't say I'm surprised, Orion," He shook his helm. "Those sparklings seem ta know ya pretty well. How long have ya been doing that?"

Orion smiled down at the table. "A while. I can't remember when it started."

"You're really something strange, Orion Pax," Jazz said. "In a good way, of course."

"Hey,"

We all looked up to see Maccadam standing by our table. I'd been alerted to his presence beforehand, because Jazz had noticed him approaching, but it was still a little unnerving that I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Maccadam," Orion stood.

"You and your friends want to come to the back room?" Somehow his tone made it clear that it wasn't a request. We all stood and followed him back past the counter and to his office.

Inside the door, he caught Orion by the shoulders and held him at arms length, inspecting him.

"Well," he smiled slightly, "How does it feel to be all grown up and have to deal with this real-world slag?"

Orion thought about the hospital that had just been bombed. His expression wavered, then he shuttered his optics and had to try very hard not to cry.

Maccadam sighed and pulled Orion into a tight embrace. "Feels like pit, doesn't it?" A deep, ancient sort of pain settled itself onto the older mech's faceplate. "I know, mechling." He let go of Orion and they stepped away from the door so Jazz and I could come in. "Make yourselves comfortable," he said. "Good to see you Soundwave… and whoever you are."

"Jazz," Jazz said. "Nice ta meet ya. I've heard about this place… didn't know Orion knew the owner, though. Are ya really Maccadam?"

"In the mesh," Maccadam grinned. "Jazz, huh? Southern Polyhex. Sector seventeen. Probably went to school somewhere near the three rivers area. Then you must have worked in central Polyhex for a while."

Jazz blinked—though no one could have seen it past his visor. "Ya're good."

"Yes," Maccadam said. "Now, where am I from?"

I hadn't noticed his slight accent before. He mostly sounded like he was from Iacon, but Jazz thought there was something else too.

"I don't know," he said at length. "I can't place it."

Maccadam smirked. "That's all right. I wouldn't expect you to."

"Maybe central Simfur…" Jazz said. "But it ain't quite that."

"Central Simfur, huh?" Maccadam said. "Good job. You're not too far off, after a manner of speaking."

"Where then?" Jazz asked.

Maccadam shok his helm, smile deepening. "Sorry. I'm going to have to leave you guessing on that one. Orion, how's your little rebellion coming? The media's currently tearing you to pieces."

Orion nodded. "We're lying low right now. In eleven orns, we start up again and start trying to get the Council to pass that law… but I don't know if it'll do any good."

"Well, I'll tell you one thing, the Council's really unsteady right now," Maccadam said. "All this firing rebellion mecha isn't good for their approval ratings. And the media isn't happy about being forced to lie about you mechs. I hear things here in my oilhouse. Mecha aren't afraid to speak their processors here. I think you have more support than you imagine, Orion. Just keep pushing forward and give it some time."

"Thank you," Orion said, "That's good to know. Things have been looking bleak from our end. Did you hear about that hospital?"

"Oh, yeah," Maccadam said. "It's a real tragedy, isn't it?"

"Do you think… do you think that maybe, in a roundabout way, Autobot could have caused it?"

"Nah," Maccadam said. "I don't think that's any sort of a rebellion thing. The terrorist hit a _hospital_ for the Allspark's sake. It's just some really sick, messed up lunatic. Fortunately, those don't tend to be too hard to catch. Whoever he is, they'll get him."

Orion nodded, somewhat comforted. They talked for a while. I sat and listened, half paying attention to them, half paying attention to the various interesting conversations in other parts of the oilhouse. Maccadam was right, it seemed, about mecha complaining about the Council.

After about half a joor, Orion stood up. "I really should be going."

"Wait," I stood as well. "There are enforcers out front."

Jazz glanced from me to Maccadam. _Does this mech know about Soundwave's abilities?_

Yep.

"Very well," Maccadam said. "I guess you're going out the back… unless that's being blocked too?" He looked at me.

I shook my helm.

Maccadam hesitated. "You know what, I want you to go out the other back way. Come."

He led us down several flights of stairs to a small door that led out to a silent, third-level-down street.

"Okay," he said. "Come visit me when you can, Orion. And… I suppose you don't see Trion much anymore."

"No," Orion said with a sigh. "Hardly ever."

"Well, if you do see him, tell him I think his beard is ugly. He ought to get a kick out of that."

Orion nodded. _Maccadam never changes._

We left and headed back to Perceptor's house.


	77. Lost and Found

Eleven orns later, Autobot activity started up again, but it was a slow, difficult start. We had about half the following we'd had before, and the Council was no longer ignoring us. The media tore us to shreds, and enforcement showed up to almost all of our meetings, arresting everyone they could. Within two decaorns, we were exhausted and dejected, and almost ready to give up.

I came into the meeting room and passed a datapad to Jazz, who was in deep conversation with Orion at the table. He skimmed it and handed it to Orion. It was a largely discouraging report about our current numbers and everything related to Autobot that had happened the orn before.

Megatronus was seated to the side of the room, reading the latest message Orion wanted us to send out. Red Alert was recharging in the corner. He was entirely convinced the enforcers were going to show up when we weren't paying attention and arrest us all and he'd decided that the best thing to do was to stay online until it happened.

It hadn't worked. At this point, he was so deeply unconscious that if the enforcers _did_ show up, he'd probably recharge right through it.

Perceptor came in a few breems after me and sat down at the little meeting room monitor station. He listened to Jazz and Orion for a while, then joined in on the conversation.

I was about to leave again when the door alarm went off signifying that someone was at the front door. I pushed my range out to see who it was, then froze.

Perceptor spun in his chair to look at the screen. "Oh…" he said, "I think… we have a problem." He glanced at the unconscious Red Alert. "Uh…"

Orion got up just as Elita and Ratchet came in.

"Who's at the door?" Elita said

"Enforcement," Orion said.

"Primus, we'd better hide everything," Elita said. "I guess… is Red Alert still unconscious?"

"Hang on," Jazz got up and went over to look at the screen that was displaying camera feed from the front door. "It's just one mech. And he's not even from Iacon."

"Who cares where he's from?" Ratchet said, opening the secret door in the wall. "What are you all waiting for?"

"It matters where he's from," Jazz said. "Because I don't think he has jurisdiction here. He can't arrest us. Look, see…"

The mech at the door turned slightly as if on cue, and everyone could see the insignias on the shoulder and doorwing closest to the camera.

"Praxian command…" Jazz muttered. "Not even a street cop. Hard ta tell how high-ranking he is. Probably an investigator or something… but he still can't be here ta arrest us. We don't have ta open the door for him if we don't want." Jazz looked at me. _Soundwave, who is this mech and what's he here for?_

Megatronus, Orion, Perceptor, and Ratchet all turned in my direction as well, making similar queries.

Elita wondered why everyone was staring at me.

The enforcer had one of those dizzyingly busy processors. It took me an astrosecond to work through exactly what his motivations were. He wasn't here to arrest us. In fact, he was somewhat desperate for our help. "He… might not mean us harm. Maybe he just wants to tell us something."

"Well, then," Jazz said, curious now. "Guess we should go talk ta him."

"I'll go," Perceptor said. "This is my house, after all."

Orion stood as well, and the two of them went downstairs to answer the door. We also had a listening device at the front door that was connected to the camera. I turned it on so everyone could hear what they were saying.

They watched through the optics of the camera and I watched through the optics of the mechs downstairs as they opened the door.

"Hello," Perceptor said calmly.

"May I come in for a moment?" The enforcer replied in a cold, almost haughty tone.

Perceptor hesitated.

"I assure you, it will be better to have this conversation in private."

"Come in, then," Perceptor said.

They backed up and Orion shut the door behind them. Now the other mecha in the meeting room could only listen as the conversation progressed. Jazz wished he'd gone too, though that wouldn't have been a good idea. He was a fairly well-known wanted criminal.

"Don't bother denying that this is the headquarters for Autobot," the enforcer said. "That isn't the issue here."

Perceptor and Orion stared at him.

"My designation is Prowl, and I need your assistance with something. It ought to help you as well, but just in case you don't _care,_ if you won't do as I ask, I will disclose the location of your headquarters to Iacon Enforcement, as well as the designation of every key member of your rebellion." _Of course, I might_ not, _even if they won't help. That could cause even more unrest._

Perceptor decided he didn't like this mech very much.

The enforcer turned to face Orion. "Orion Pax, you are the leader of this rebellion, are you not?"

Orion nodded slightly, somewhat nervous.

"Are you aware of the terrorist who has been targeting hospitals and schools across the northern hemisphere?"

"That terrorist has nothing to do with Autobot," Perceptor said.

"Notice," the enforcer said, "I didn't _accuse_ you of anything."

"I'm aware of the terrorist," Orion said, feeling guilty despite himself. "I don't know if his actions have anything to do with my organization, but if they do, I'm willing to take responsibility for them."

 _What, don't you dare say that…_ Perceptor glanced at Orion.

The enforcer blinked, shocked. "You… no, I _told_ you, I'm not accusing you. I have information about where this terrorist's next target is, and I need you to help bring him in."

That took an astrosecond to sink in.

"What?" Perceptor said.

"Do you want me to repeat myself, or are you just…"

"Why do you need our help?"

"That is not relevant," the enforcer said. "For whatever reason, the enforcers in Praxus cannot arrest this terrorist. Nor can he be taken to a detention center if he is captured. I was hoping that the prospect of the Council losing some of their propaganda against your cause might persuade you to assist me."

"How about the prospect of stopping a terrorist from killing mecha?" Perceptor said, disturbed. "What do you take us for, officer?"

"That's beside the point," the enforcer addressed Orion again. He was worried that this wouldn't work and that he wouldn't be able to convince us to help, because he wasn't sure where else to go. He could try to hunt the terrorist down and kill him, but he didn't want to go in without backup, and his superiors had forbidden him from getting involved in the case.

"We would be happy to do everything we can to help stop this terrorist from attacking anywhere else," Orion said.

"Wait," Perceptor said. "What would _we_ do with a terrorist? If we can't take him to a detention center…"

"I wouldn't need you to keep him here for long," the enforcer said. "I can… find other arrangements. Depending on his motivation, he may need a mental hospital, not necessarily prison." _Unless he actually works for the Council, which is very possible. In that case, I'm not sure what I'll do with him…_

Orion looked down, suddenly not so certain.

"And if it did become necessary to terminate him, I wouldn't ask you to do it." _I have to be prepared for that possibility._ "I just need your help to bring him in."

Jazz sat back in his chair, in the meeting room, shaking his helm. "This don't make sense," he said. "Why can't he get help from his own mecha?" _Is this some sort of trick? It doesn't add up._ He glanced at me, but I just shook my helm, trying to pay attention to the conversation downstairs.

"We aren't trained for that," Perceptor said.

"I don't need _you._ " Prowl said. "Just two or three mecha to help me corner him. I tried once, but he's not stupid, and he got away. Surely some of you have military training, or close enough. Your groundbridge may be helpful too, depending on how things go."

"We may be willing to help you," Orion said. "But are you certain this is your best course of action? Surely your fellow enforcers would be more equipped to assist you."

 _They'd probably like to, but they won't, not with the Council…_ "No. I have reviewed the options, and found that this is the best course of action."

Perceptor narrowed his optics. _There is something he isn't telling us._

Orion frowned. "May we… think about it and get back to you?"

"You may think about it," Prowl said. "But what I said earlier still stands. I know the location of your base of operations and the designations of many—if not all—of your key members. I am not your enemy, but if you'd like it to stay that way, I need your help."

"You say you want our help, but you're not being very friendly," Perceptor said.

"I am not friendly," Prowl said. "And this is not personal. I just want to stop a terrorist."

"I am almost certain we will be willing to help you." Orion said. _As soon as we've talked to Soundwave about it. I think he's telling the truth, but I can't really be sure._ "But we would like some time to think it over. A few joors, at least."

The enforcer considered that, then finally nodded. "Very well," he unsubspaced a data chip and held it out for Orion to take. "This has information on it that will allow you to contact me."

Orion took it. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," the enforcer said, then figured he'd better at least make some _attempt_ at a gesture of peace. He was surprised at how honest and willing to help Orion seemed. "I apologize for threatening you, I suppose."

"And I'm sorry this conversation turned into an argument," Orion said. _It didn't have to._

"Hmm…" The enforcer said. "I accept your apology, though you weren't the one arguing," he glanced pointedly at Perceptor, and then left. The door closed behind him.

Perceptor stared after him, shocked and more than a little offended.

The meeting room was full of somewhat stunned silence as we waited for Perceptor and Orion to come back upstairs.

"Hey, Orion," Megatronus grinned at them when they entered the room. "Try to keep the professor under control next time, will you?"

Perceptor put a hand to his helm "Primus," he said. "Were you all listening to that?"

"Praxians are snobs," Jazz said with a shrug. "I think they're raised that way."

"That mech was certainly a piece of work," Perceptor said. "But not _all_ Praxians are like that."

"Trust me," Ratchet said, thinking about Breeze's creators. "There are plenty who are."

But this mech was different.

"In any case," Jazz said. "Soundwave, what…" he stopped himself, remembering that not everyone in the room knew about my mind reading.

Everyone looked at Elita.

"What?" she said.

 _Can we tell her?_ Orion asked.

I shook my helm. The fewer mecha who knew, the better, even now.

Orion didn't like leaving her out, but that only made me more determined to refuse. It wasn't _his_ secret.

Fortunately Megatronus had no qualms about asking her to leave. "Elita?"

She turned to face him, feeling confused. "Yes?"

"Meaning no disrespect, but there are things surrounding that conversation that the core members of Autobot should discuss alone."

"Oh," she said, trying not to feel left out, and wondering what they could possibly want to discuss without her. She left.

Megatronus looked at the still-recharging Red Alert.

"He knows," I said quietly.

"Why do _you_ know?" Ratchet narrowed his optics at Megatronus.

"Soundwave told me," Megatronus said with a tiny smirk.

"Why?" Ratchet looked at me. _He almost never trusts anyone._

If he was more observant, then he wouldn’t need to ask.

"Back ta the issue at hand," Jazz said. "Soundwave, what's the verdict? Is he trying ta trick us somehow, or just being a glitch for no reason?"

"He never lied," I said.

They waited for me to continue.

"He wants our help. He doesn't mean us harm. But he might follow through o-on the threats he made if we don't help him."

"Why doesn't he ask his enforcer buddies ta help him?"

There was an answer for that. "The Council wo-on't…" Why did _I_ have to talk so much? "Won't let them arrest the-e terrorist."

They all looked at me like I was crazy.

"They're using him for propaganda-a."

"Frag," Jazz said, realizing what that meant.

"That's… disgusting," Perceptor said. "Are you sure? Mecha are _dying,_ and they're just going to ignore it so that they can have…"

I nodded. "He was sure." He thought the Council might even have _hired_ the terrorist.

"I'm not surprised," Ratchet said. "Of _course_ they won't let the enforcers arrest the slagging terrorist, not if it helps them make us look bad."

"Why didn't he explain that?" Orion mused. "We'd have been more willing to help if we’d understood."

I shrugged. The mech didn't seem to care whether we agreed with him, only whether we did what he wanted us to.

"So, are we helping him?" Perceptor asked.

"I think we have to," Orion said. "Threats aside, if we can help stop this terrorist… now that we know enforcement isn't even trying…"

"So who's going to go?" Megatronus asked.

"Me," Jazz said. "I'm trained for that kinda stuff, and I don't trust that enforcer. But I want Soundwave ta come with me."

Orion looked at me and I nodded. I might as well.

Red Alert sat up with a moan and looked around. "What… I was recharging?"

"Yeah," Jazz grinned at him. "And while ya were out, enforcement showed up."

Red Alert blinked, staring at Jazz for a few moments. " _What!?_ "

* * *

"I want to come."

"No."

Ravage glared at me from the berth. "I want to come."

I shook my helm. I was finished with this argument.

"You keep leaving us here," Ravage said. "It's not fair."

"Yeah," Rumble said from his position standing next to Ravage. "And we're sick of it. We can help."

"Not this time." I said. "I'm sorry.”

"But it gets _boring_ staying here all the time," Frenzy said. "We never get to go anywhere anymore."

"It isn't safe."

"Then why are _you_ going?" Ravage demanded. _Why won't you let me protect you anymore?_

I sighed and sat down at my desk. "I'm not a youngling anymore," I said softly. "The danger I'm in these orns is a different kind of danger. If I le-et you come, I'd probably be in _more_ danger because I'd have to watch after you as well as keep myself safe. Do you understand?"

Ravage stared at me for a moment, then bowed his helm, feeling an uncharacteristic amount of sorrow and regret. "You… you don't need us anymore, do you?"

"What?" I said. "No… Ra-avage, that's not what I—"

"Then you'd let us come."

"Okay," I said. "I can try to do that more. But not this time."

Ravage curled his tail around his pedes, not pacified. I reached out to put a hand on his helm, and he shied away from me, then turned and leaped off the berth so he could go to the corner and sulk.

 _You never_ needed _us,_ Laserbeak thought. _And we didn't really_ need _you. That's not why you own us._

Jazz commed me. " _Hey, Soundwave, time ta go."_

I got up and went over to the corner.

"Go then," Ravage growled.

"Ravage, I will ne-ever stop needing you."

"We need you too. You can't just ignore us all the time."

"I know. I'm sorry. But Orion's trying to make the world better for everyone, and I want to help him."

"Why?" Ravage looked up, fixing his accusing yellow optics on my screen. "Why can't they all just fend for themselves? Why is it _Orion's_ problem?"

"Can y-you trust me on this? That this is something we have to do."

"If your stupid mecha ideas get you hurt…"

"I'll be fine," I said. "And I _will_ let you help."

" _Ya still in your room? Come on, Soundwave."_

Ravage relaxed a little, and came over to rub his faceplate against my leg. "Be careful."

"I will."

I walked through Perceptor's house thinking about what Ravage had said. I really _should_ spend more time with them. And even more than that, I should find a way to get them out of the house. They needed some fresh atmosphere—being cooped up wasn't good for them.

I went to the basement where Orion and Jazz were waiting.

"Is everything all right?" Orion asked. _What kept him?_

I nodded. Just a little symbiont trouble.

"Ready?" Jazz asked.

I nodded again.

"Thank you both for doing this," Orion said. "Be careful, please."

"Don't worry about us," Jazz said. "We'll be fine."

Orion sighed. "I just… don't want you to get hurt because of this. I can't really ask either of you to…"

"Stop," Jazz said. "We've already said it's fine. See ya in a few joors."

Orion turned on the groundbridge and put in the coordinates we needed. The glowing, swirling portal opened up, and Jazz and I stepped through into a small, religiously tidy apartment. The enforcer, Prowl, was sitting in a chair in the corner. He had been reading a datapad, waiting impatiently for us to show up. Now he stood as the groundbridge closed behind us.

"Thank you for coming," he said curtly.

"Well, mech, ya did threaten ta turn us in," Jazz said. _I can be friends with most mecha, but not if they work their way through life by threatening and intimidating everymech else._ "I'm warning ya, though, if ya do that, I'll make sure ya end up real sorry for it."

Prowl narrowed his optics. "You… you're a wanted criminal." _Maybe I was wrong about the resistance after all, if they've got mecha like this one working with them._ He started checking through his memories for a memo he was certain he'd received about Jazz escaping from prison. "High up in some gang, weren't you?"

Jazz frowned. "That was fast."

"I pay attention to that sort of thing."

"Well surprise, surprise, mecha can change. I've cleaned up my act and I roll with Autobot now, so did ya wanna catch a terrorist or what?"

Prowl glared. In this city, he _did_ have jurisdiction, and even though he wasn't on duty, he could arrest Jazz if he felt like it.

"What?" Jazz said.

"Mecha don't decide to change, and then break out of prison," Prowl said.

 _That's a fair point, but I didn't actually break out._ "Look, I'd love ta tell ya the whole story some orn, but don't we got a schedule ta keep?"

Prowl weighed the options. He _did_ want our help. "Fine," he said. "Come with me."

He led the way into another, smaller room that had a table, several chairs, and a small cupboard. We sat down around the table. It was a little cramped. I could hear the noises of a city outside, though the windows were closed.

"So," Jazz said "How are we gonna catch this mech?"

Prowl nodded. "I've never gotten a good look at him, but from reports, our terrorist is about average height and build, and is primarily white. His target this orn is an exclusive school on the outskirts of Praxus. We don't know his motivation, but he does leave his signature at the site of every bombing."

"And what's that?"

"He writes on the ground, or a nearby wall," Prowl said. "Primus grant that I die innocent."

Jazz leaned back in his chair, troubled. "That's creepy."

Prowl nodded slightly. "Yes. It's the main reason I don't think the Council hired him. Also evidence that he's unhinged."

"He writes _that_ on the ground, then blows up a hospital?" Jazz said.

"It's taking you a while to integrate this, isn't it? Do you need me to slow down for you, or can we move on?"

Jazz crossed his arms, offended. "I'm just _reacting_ to it, because it's slagging _wrong_."

"Well, stop reacting and pay attention," Prowl said almost before Jazz was finished talking. "I've already had the school evacuated. So if things go badly, get out of there and don't worry about the building. There's nothing in there that can't be replaced. Now, there are several ways the terrorist might come toward the school." He unsubspaced a small hologram projector and set it on the table. When he turned it on, it displayed a three dimensional map of the school and surrounding area. "It's most likely he'll approach from below ground level and try to get into the basement. I will hide on the second level down and keep watch over the doors there. There's one door…" he maneuvered the map so we could see where the door was. "That leads from one floor below ground level to the interior of the building. There's a chance he'll go that way, so I want one of you to watch that door. Then I need the other mech to stay on street level in case he comes into the area before he attacks the school. We don't know if he does the writing on the ground beforehand or afterward."

"Okay," Jazz said. "I'll stay up on the main street, I think. Soundwave, can ya do the middle." _If he's only watching one door, he'll be able to keep his range large enough to keep track of the whole school._

I nodded.

"Good," Prowl said. "Now, if you see him, let the other two know, and we'll join you where you are. The goal will be to get him to stand down, but if it becomes necessary, we might need to stop him forcefully." Prowl looked between the two of us. "Do either of you think that you would absolutely not be capable of shooting him?"

Jazz and I looked at each other for a moment.

"I've never killed anyone," I said quietly.

"All right," Prowl said, then looked to Jazz.

"I can do it, if I have ta," _I wanted to leave killing behind… but this is different. This mech needs to be stopped. Still… I wanted to leave it behind._

"All right," Prowl said. "Do you need a gun?"

Jazz shook his helm. Prowl looked at me.

"I don't want one."

"You don't have to fire it," Prowl said. "I'll even leave the safety on if you like. But you ought to have it, just in case." He unsubspaced a small gun and handed it across the table to me. _If nothing else, he could threaten the terrorist with it._

"Okay," Jazz said. "One question. Do we know why he does it? Or is that message all he leaves us?"

"I think he's looking for something," Prowl said. "His choice of schools and hospitals wouldn't follow such a clear, distinct pattern if he was picking them randomly. But I don't know what he's trying to accomplish, or why. And that's not the point anyway. We just need to stop him."

Jazz nodded, frowning. _This mech's crazy. Asking the rebellion for help, trying ta stop a terrorist with the help of a couple of mecha he doesn't even know. I wonder how long he's been an enforcer, or if he's new ta all of this... This could get real dangerous._

"Let's go," Prowl stood. "We probably have several joors to wait before he shows up, but I don't know for certain."

We followed him out into the city. Jazz had never been to Praxus before. The place had a distinct feel to it. I couldn't help thinking about the fact that Breeze was here in this city. Maybe I should visit her before we left.

He led the way through the city. There was significantly less of a stir here than there was in Iacon about Autobot. And mecha, in general, seemed more content. This place was run by a Council that answered to the Iacon High Council. But the leaders here seemed to be doing a better job of things.

We got to the school, and split up. Jazz was going to go into a nearby building and get up high enough that he could see most of the entrances to the school. Of course, he wouldn't be watching for the terrorist to go in, he would be watching for the terrorist to write his signature on something.

I went down to the first level below ground, expanded my range so that I could hear the whole school, and waited. I could hear Prowl on the level below me, sitting patient and still, but somehow still thinking so rapidly I could barely keep up. I expanded my range far enough that I could hear Jazz, but then decided to pull it back, because there was no way—even in a relatively empty area—that I could maintain that range for as long as I would need to. I kept it small enough that I could just hear the entire building.

Then I resigned myself for a long wait.

* * *

When the terrorist came into my range two and a half joors later, I was not ready. I jerked back instinctively, then stretched my range out again in morbid curiosity.

There was something definitely wrong with his processor. It was… just _wrong._ He was too focused, for one thing, and every thought was like a scream in my mind. And he _felt_ nothing besides a bleak determination. Not to say that he was a simpleton. He was entering the building through a panel in the wall that he was carefully cutting a hole in. As he worked, he went over his plans to destroy the place in great technical detail in his mind. He heard a sound—just the creaking of the building, and a spike of fear pushed its way through the determination. He stopped, shuttering his optics, and a rush of horrible images dashed through his processor.

I yanked my range back, feeling queasy. The worst part was how much he had _wanted_ the fear and the flashback. He wanted to do this. He wanted to watch this building burn and feel guilt tearing him apart from the inside. Pit… this was not ordinary insanity. There was something _wrong_ with this mech.

But he was in the building now. And I had been too distracted by him to remember what I was supposed to do. I commed Jazz and Prowl. _"He came in on my level, but he cut a hole in the wall instead of going through the door. He's in the building now."_

Prowl responded instantly. _"I'll be there in half a breem. Wait and we'll go in together through his access point. Where did he go in?"_

I sent them the coordinates.

" _I'm coming too,"_ Jazz said. _"Okay if I go through the door and come at him from a different direction?"_

" _Yes,"_ Prowl said. _"Wait, no. There's an alarm on the door. If you set it off, he'll know he's not alone in there."_

_"I can get past a door alarm."_

I stretched out my range just a bit so I knew where the terrorist was, and then pulled it back again. I did _not_ want to be in his processor.

Prowl sprinted up to meet me, and we both went toward the mech's entrance point. Prowl took the lead, ducking inside before me and walking on nearly silent pedes. I flicked my range out for a moment again. The terrorist was busy arming a large explosive. He would set several, then he would go out and write his message, and then detonate everything.

Primus grant that I die innocent. The emotions surrounding that message were a mess of frustration and loss and defiance, and I realized that when he wrote that, he wasn't talking about himself. He had no desire to remain innocent.

He was paying someone back for something. This was revenge… he was hunting, trying to destroy something, or someone.

Prowl slowed down once we got close to the terrorist. Thanks to his doorwings, he could hear the mech.

I pushed my range out to see if I could find Jazz. He was almost to the door. Good.

" _Where are you mechs?"_ Jazz asked.

" _We're in the building already."_ Prowl said. _"You?"_

" _Just outside. Coordinates?"_

Prowl sent him our current coordinates, and those of the terrorist. We crept closer, silent, and I was forced to shrink my range, because I did _not_ want that mech in my processor.

We got to the hallway outside the classroom where he was almost finished setting up the bomb. According to the map, there were two doors leading into the room, so Prowl waited for Jazz to come around the corner at the other end of the hallway before moving.

Jazz reached the other door, just as the terrorist finished arming the bomb. Prowl counted down over the open comm. channel, and when he got to zero, he stepped into the doorway and leveled his gun at the terrorist. Jazz stepped through the other door at the same time and I froze.

"Don't move," Prowl said coldly.

The terrorist stiffened.

I stared through Prowl's optics, unable to believe them. This was impossible. How many times would something like this happen to me?

I pushed out my range again so I could hear the other two mechs in the room, and deep horror settled into my spark as Jazz recognized the terrorist.

"I wouldn't shoot me," the mech said, "If you do, I'll kill all of us."

"Pit…" Jazz lowered his gun. "I know you."

Prowl shot a sharp look at him. _He_ knows _this mech._

"Don't shoot hi-im," I said, stepping into the room.

The terrorist looked up sharply, recognizing my voice.

Silence fell for a moment, and the terrorist turned his back on Jazz so he could face me. Anger started to build deep in his emotional core, making him feel dizzy and sick. "You lied to me."

I pulled my range back, wincing.

"You lied to me," he said again. "You didn't tell me…" I had never seen anyone look so angry. Prowl kept his weapon aimed at the other mech's helm. If he hit him in the optic, the shot would probably penetrate into his processor and kill him.

The terrorist had a small device in his hand, which I knew would let him detonate the bombs. He shifted it in his grip, not taking his optics from me. And even without being in his processor, I knew what he was going to do.

So did Prowl. "I said don't move,"

"Wait," Jazz said. "Don't shoot him."

"If he detonates…"

"Stop," I said. "I'm sorry… we'll help you. We'll he-elp you, listen to me. Drop that. Drop it, we can help you, Wheeljack."

Wheeljack frowned, looking down at the device in his hand. "Neurosis."

I stiffened.

"He said you were one of his patients. I always wondered…" Determination settled onto his faceplate.

"Who?" Jazz asked. "Primus, I heard Wheeljack was missing… What the pit happened ta you, mech?"

Wheeljack looked at Jazz. I wanted to expand my range again, but I didn't want to be part of whatever was going on in his helm.

"It's over now, isn't it?" Wheeljack asked.

I couldn't help it. I expanded my range again.

_If Neurosis ever did anything to Soundwave, I'm sure he's better off dead than alive. Pit, I didn't get to kill him. But it's over now. I might as well end it…_

"No," I said. "No, put it down, Wheeljack. We can help you."

"You can't," Wheeljack said. _It's too late. They're going to try and stop me, but they can't. I have to find everyone and kill all of them before it's too late. Downtime, Formulaic, Highnote, Shockwave…_

I pulled my range away from him again. "Please," I said. "It's going to be all right."

"I can't let you stop me. Besides… I've killed innocent mecha." Wheeljack said. "And I'm not sorry."

"Wait," I insisted. "We-e…" I took a step closer to him. "We can fix thi-i-is." What had he done? What had happened to him?

"You lied to me," Wheeljack said, trembling again, but this time his trembling voice wasn't angry. "I wouldn't have been too late… If you'd told me, I wouldn't have been too late."

Told him what?

Oh pit.

The twisted things he'd been thinking about were starting to come together in my processor, along with things Perceptor had thought about when he didn't know I was listening.

And things Neurosis had thought about the last time I'd seen him.

"If you blow us up, y-y-you won't e-ever get to kill Neuro-osi-is."

Wheeljack shuttered his optics, and raised the detonating device. Prowl shifted nervously, wondering for an instant if we were all about to die.

But then Wheeljack lowered his arm again and dropped the device. "I can't kill him," he whispered. "He gets away, every time. He takes them all with him. He takes everything with him and leaves, before the explosions go off…"

I stepped forward, shrinking my range in order to stay out of his helm and knelt to pick the detonator up. Wheeljack didn't try to stop me.

Prowl finally lowered his gun. "So _is_ this mech associated with Autobot?"

"No," Jazz said. "But he has a lot of friends there. He disappeared a while back, before I joined… but I knew him from school. He was friends with Ratchet… and Shockwave, who also disappeared."

Prowl blinked. "Shockwave? He was a senator, wasn't he?"

Wheeljack sank to his knees, looking exhausted. I felt blind, but was wary of stretching my range out again.

Perceptor had absolutely insisted that we stop looking for Shockwave. That Shockwave was beyond our reach. We had decided not to tell Wheeljack, because we knew that no amount of persuading would convince him.

He must have found out somehow, about the senator's disappearance.

"Let's ta-ake him to Perceptor's house," I said, then turned and handed Prowl the detonating device. "We can take him fro-om here."

Prowl frowned. "Are you certain? If he gets out and starts blowing things up again… or decides to destroy your base…"

"Do-on't worry." I wouldn't let that happen.

Prowl would worry. "This seems ill-advised." _I don't know if they really understand how mentally unstable this mech has to be. Maybe they used to know him, but…_

"We're certain," Jazz said."We're not gonna let ya kill him, that's for sure. Soundwave, I'm gonna comm. them back at base and let them know we need a groundbridge."

Prowl subspaced his gun. "Very well. Soundwave, can I have your gun back, then?"

I handed it to him as Jazz got in touch with the mecha back at base.

"Hey," he said. "Can we get a bridge? I'll send ya the coordinates… uh, yeah… ya might want ta tell Ratchet ta get his office ready… open the bridge and ya'll see."

I didn't have him in my range, so I couldn't hear the other end of the conversation. After a few astroseconds, a groundbridge opened up against the wall.

I walked toward Wheeljack, shrinking my range farther, but then giving in and letting it cover him.

"I'm sorry," I said, wincing at the strength of his misery. "We didn't want to tell y-you because we tho-o-ought you might go looking for him."

"But I wouldn't have been too late," Wheeljack's voice trembled.

I yanked my range back from him as I saw Shockwave's faceplate, but dull and emotionless, accompanied by an enormous wave of terror.

I knelt by Wheeljack, pulling my range in as small as it would go, and held out a hand. He got control of himself, snapping from agonized misery to blank slate in an instant. Then he accepted my offered hand and let me pull him to his pedes.

"I suppose that's that," Jazz said to Prowl. "If ya need us ta help ya deal with any more terrorists, just let us know."

Prowl glared at him.

"Actually, don't," Jazz said. "In fact, stay the _pit_ away from Autobot in the future."

"Threatening me will get you nowhere," Prowl said. "And don't worry, if I _do_ tell the Council and Iacon enforcement about anything, it will be _you,_ and only you."

Jazz thought about that for a moment, then nodded. "Fair enough. Let's go, mechs."

I led Wheeljack toward the groundbridge, and Jazz followed us.

Megatronus closed the bridge once we had come through, and everyone else in the basement—Perceptor, Ratchet, and Orion—stared at Wheeljack.

"What…" Ratchet was the first to break the silence. "What the _pit!_ Wheeljack? Where did he come from?"

Wheeljack looked up at them.

"No," Ratchet said after a moment. "This isn't…"

"What happened?" Perceptor demanded.

Guilt washed over Wheeljack, and he shuttered his optics and swayed dangerously, but Ratchet ducked in and caught him before he could keel over.

"Someone help me get him to my office."

Orion rushed to help, and they took Wheeljack away. Perceptor stood, horrified, for a few astroseconds, then followed them. So did I, but I kept my range small, because I felt a little dizzy as well.

We caught up with them just as Orion and Ratchet had helped Wheeljack sit down on the berth there.

"What happened?" Perceptor demanded again. "Wheeljack, _what happened?_ "

Wheeljack's expression soured a little, and the look he gave Perceptor was anything but friendly.

"I found him," he whispered.

"You found…" Perceptor sucked in a quick gasp. "Oh, Primus, _no._ No, no… you…" He took a step back. "You didn't... Ratchet, don't go near him, we can't trust him. _Primus Beneath_ why didn't you let me know you'd found out? I could have stopped you…"

"You lied," Wheeljack said. "You didn't tell me he was gone. I found him, Perceptor."

"Found who?" Ratchet asked.

"Shockwave," Orion guessed quietly.

Wheeljack gripped the edges of the berth, shuttering his optics, trembling.

Orion looked to Perceptor. "We have to help him."

Perceptor shook his helm, "I don't know… I don't know that we can. The Council…"

"This is your house," Orion said quietly. "But if you make him leave, I'm leaving with him."

Perceptor looked at his former student. "He's the terrorist, Orion."

Wheeljack let go of the edge of the berth and stared blankly at the wall.

"I know," Orion said.

Perceptor shuttered his optics and turned away. He brushed past me as he left the room. Barely holding back his horror.

"Hmph," Ratchet said. "Wheeljack, I'm going to put you into stasis for a while. I need to do some deeper scans to make sure you're all right."

"Okay," Wheeljack said dully. "Are you going to kick me out?"

"Absolutely not," Ratchet said.

"But I—"

"Absolutely _not_." Ratchet insisted again. "Lie down on the berth."

I backed away as Wheeljack swung his legs up onto the berth and lay down. Ratchet hooked him up to a few monitoring machines and then started putting him in stasis. Wheeljack flinched and whimpered, but then relaxed after a few moments. His optics dimmed and he lay still.

"Now," Ratchet said, "Get out of here, both of you, and give me space to work.


	78. Damages

Ratchet came up to the meeting room a joor later. _I'm really not sure what to tell them…_

"Is he all right?" Orion asked.

"No," Ratchet said. "At least… I'm not sure. It's hard to explain. There were a few physical injuries that needed repairs, and I've finished that. But… there's something wrong with his processor and I can’t repair that." _I wish I'd finished school now. Maybe I would have been able to help him._

"We could… try to get in contact with another medic," Red Alert said. "What do you mean, there's something wrong with his processor?"

Ratchet glared at him. "I'm not sure _anyone_ can repair him, I got some… unusual readings, but I can't figure out what's wrong. And _obviously_ there's something wrong with his processor. He's different. I don't know if he's really Wheeljack anymore. I mean, Wheeljack was always annoying and reckless, but… he wouldn't blow up hospitals."

"And you left him unsupervised?" Red Alert said. _He could be here to spy on us. He could wake up and try to kill us all…_

"We will not turn him away," Orion said. "That is final."

"So what do we do with him?" Megatronus asked.

Silence fell.

"Where did Perceptor go?" Ratchet asked. _Soundwave?_

"His room," I said.

I didn't think he wanted to be bothered.

"Hmph," Ratchet said. "Well, we need to talk to him. I need answers."

"Yeah," Jazz said. _I'm still not entirely sure what's going on. Did Perceptor_ know _where Shockwave disappeared to? He seemed real scared when Wheeljack said he'd found Shockwave._

Orion nodded. "I'll go see if I can talk to him… though this has to be even more emotional for him than for us."

"Excuse me?" Red Alert said. "I asked an important question earlier. Did you leave that terrorist unsupervised?"

"He's in stasis," Ratchet said. "He's not going to do anything."

"You don't know that!" Red Alert went to the monitor station and brought up the feed from the camera in Ratchet's office on the main screen.

After a few breems, Orion came back alone.

"No professor?" Megatronus said.

Orion shook his helm. "He wouldn't talk to me. Maybe we should leave him be for a while."

"This is _his_ fault," Ratchet said bitterly. "He's the one who insisted that we keep Shockwave a secret. If he hadn't done that—if he'd _told_ Wheeljack, we would have had an opportunity to talk him out of… whatever he went and…"

 _I didn't even know this 'Shockwave'_ Megatronus thought. _But I wouldn't be surprised if that professor was keeping things from them… but then Soundwave would know, wouldn't he?_

He looked at me, and I nodded slightly. "Perce-eptor…"

Everyone looked at me. Not all of the mecha in the room knew about my mind-reading, but I could explain without exposing myself.

"There were thi-ings he asked me not to look into. Shockwave's disappearance was o-one of them."

Orion bowed his helm.

"He _did_ know things about that he wasn't telling us," Ratchet said.

"Don't blame him," Orion said. "I am certain he was only attempting to protect us... of course that backfired in Wheeljack's case. Ratchet, are you sure there isn't anything you can do for him?"

"I don't know. I mean… we'd need a processor specialist, or at the very least…" _Breeze. She's a psychologist. She might know something—she might be able to help._

"I'll message Breeze," I said.

Ratchet nodded.

"Who?" Elita asked.

"That femme," Megatronus said. _The one who knows me._ "The psychologist."

I took my datapad and left the room. I needed to process this, and I was tired of sitting there, listening to everyone think about the situation.

I didn't want to explain it to my symbionts, either, so I just found an empty room and typed out a message to Breeze, explaining briefly and asking her to come here. I was almost certain she would be willing to help.

She responded in a few breems.

[That's terrible! Of course I'll come, though I'm not sure if I'll be able to do much. I'll be there as soon as I can—before the end of the orn, if possible.]

* * *

The sun dome had just barely switched off when she showed up at the front door. I let her in and took her to Ratchet's office, where he was sitting, watching the unconscious Wheeljack and feeling helpless.

He looked up as we came in.

"Hey," Breeze said, looking sadly at Wheeljack. "I… can barely believe this."

"I know," Ratchet said. "And I don't know what to do."

"Can you wake him up and let me talk to him?"

"That may not be the best idea," Ratchet said. "For all we know he could be dangerous."

"Well, you have to wake him up eventually," Breeze said. "Right?"

Ratchet frowned. "Did Soundwave tell you what he’s been doing recently?"

"Yes," Breeze said. "Wake him up—I want to talk to him."

Ratchet started the process of bringing him out of stasis, and we waited. After a few moments, his processor started up. I could feel the damage, now that Ratchet had mentioned it. There was something broken, something out of alignment. I pulled my range back.

Wheeljack sat up on the berth with a gasp, optics flying open.

He stared for a few moments, then relaxed a little, but didn't speak.

"Wheeljack," Breeze said, stepping toward him. "Do you remember me?"

"Breeze," Wheeljack said.

Breeze nodded, smiling slightly.

"I need to go," Wheeljack got up off the berth. "They don't want me here."

"Nonsense," Ratchet said. "You're not going anywhere until I say so."

Wheeljack tensed. "Let me go."

"Please sit down," Breeze said. "We're not trying to keep you here, we just want you to be safe."

Wheeljack hesitated.

"We're your friends," Breeze said. "You know we want to help you, right?"

"Not if I told you what I've done…"

"Try me," Breeze said. "I'm a good listener."

Wheeljack glanced at Ratchet.

"I think I can take it from here," Breeze said. "Ratch, Soundwave…"

"I'm not leaving you alone in here with him."

"I'll be fine," Breeze said. "If you're worried, just leave Soundwave outside the door." _If anything happens, he can step in and help._

Ratchet walked past me, grumbling. I followed him out of the room and we left Breeze in there to talk to Wheeljack. I didn't want to be in his processor, but I was also worried about Breeze, so I expanded my range to listen to them. They were talking for a long time. My symbionts—who were also in my expanded range—started to worry about me, so I went to tell them what was happening. Then Perceptor came out of his room and went to the meeting room, and I figured I'd better go up there as well to talk to him.

I caught up to him and we entered the meeting room at the same time.

Silence fell and the others watched as Perceptor walked to the table and sat down. He wouldn't make optic contact with anyone.

"Can Wheeljack stay here?" Orion asked.

"Yes," Perceptor said. _I did this. I have to accept this responsibility._

"Why did ya freak out?" Jazz asked. "When ya saw him…"

Perceptor sighed. "I..."

"We need ta know. He said something about finding Shockwave before ya lost it."

"Yes," Perceptor said. "And before you ask, I did not and do not know where Shockwave is or was. It was rumored that he had been sent to a secret government facility that… specializes in reprogramming."

"But…" Orion said. "You made it sound like he was dead, when I asked you about it." He glanced in my direction. _Did you know as well?_

"I'm sorry," Perceptor said. "I was worried that if I explained everything I knew I wouldn't be able to talk you out of trying to rescue him. It was too dangerous… but… I shouldn't have tried to hide his disappearance from Wheeljack." _This is my fault._

No one cared to refute that, and we sat in silence for a few breems before Breeze came in. She walked over to the table and stood there, trying not to look at Megatronus, and waiting until she was certain she had everyone's attention.

"First." She wrung her hands nervously. "You should know... unless Wheeljack's delusional, which is… possible… the Council has a secret facility where they practice experimental reprogramming."

"Yeah, we just found out about that half a breem ago," Jazz said, glancing at Perceptor.

"It's well-rumored," Perceptor admitted. "At least among those who have connections in the government."

"It is?" Breeze said.

"But no one can prove it," Perceptor added quietly.

Silence fell.

 _That's not true anymore, though._ Megatronus thought. _We have proof now._ Some of the others were thinking along the same lines.

Breeze finally broke the silence.

"Second, Wheeljack needs help—more help than I can offer. I want to take him with me…"

"Where?" Perceptor asked. "I doubt the Council knows where he is, but if they find out…"

"I know it would be dangerous," Breeze said. "But it's not safe for him to be here, and you'd need to watch him all the time. He needs to be in a care facility of some sort."

Perceptor looked down. "How bad is it?" _I don't want to know, but I have to._ "Do you think he could recover?"

Breeze looked down. "I don't know. I think in some ways he's still in there. He's fairly coherent, and seems to have very intact memories. But… I doubt he'll ever be the same mech."

"What exactly is wrong with him?" Jazz said.

"I don't think I can say. Patient confidentiality…Jazz." She glanced at me. _What is he doing here? I didn't notice him before._ "But I will say he needs mecha who know what they're doing. I can ask around, and I have some connections. Maybe we can get him admitted to a good hospital." She had one in Stanix in mind. "For now, I'd suggest always having someone in the room with him and not asking him too many questions. His most prominent and dangerous symptom seems to be violent mood swings." _That suggests some damage in his emotional core._ "So it would be best to have someone with a pretty even temper sit with him." _Not Ratchet._

"Is anyone with him now?" Orion asked.

"No," Breeze said. "But if someone wouldn't mind…"

"I'll go," Elita said.

"Thank you." Breeze said, then addressed the rest of us "I want to try to get him help as soon as possible, so I'm going to leave. I will be in touch within an orn, though."

"Thank you so much," Orion said. "We can't repay you for this."

Breeze smiled sadly. "Wheeljack's one of my oldest friends. I'd do anything to help him." _I'll comm. you, Soundwave._ "It was really good to see you Soundwave, Ratchet…" she glanced at Megatronus, but then looked at me again. "I'm sorry I only seem to come here when awful things are happening."

I shrugged. Life was like that.

Breeze left.

In the next few breems, everyone else filed out as well. It was very late, after all. Orion went to go sit with Elita and Wheeljack. Megatronus and Jazz went to their respective rooms, and Ratchet and the others who didn't live here went home.

Perceptor waited until I was the only one left in the room, then buried his helm in his arms on the table.

"Soundwave?"

I didn't say anything.

"He's broken, isn't he?"

"Yes."

"Sometimes I think I… that I've stopped making mistakes, that I know _so_ much…"

I thought about Searchlight, how I'd left him in the mines until they'd destroyed him. "Deep down, he's sti-i-ill the same," I said.

Perceptor sobbed. The hope hurt more than hopelessness would have.

I knew that feeling.

I left him there to his thoughts and retreated to my room, where my symbionts were already recharging.

* * *

Wheeljack left two orns later with Breeze. We sent them through a groundbridge to Stanix where Breeze had managed to set things up for him. She would make sure they took care of him.

Autobot was still on the same plateau, though. We were holding onto the hope that things would get better, but they hadn't yet.

At least they weren't getting worse anymore.

After a few decaorns, Breeze sent us some information—which Wheeljack had supposedly asked her to give to us—about the Institute, and we did what we could to spread the word about it.

The Council made another public statement over the news denouncing us as liars and insisting that they did _not_ promote anything so morally inconceivable as a reprogramming facility.

But we couldn't refute it because we didn't want to bring Wheeljack into this and put him in danger.

In the end, we didn't need to ask for Wheeljack's help, though. He came to us.

I was in my room, but when the door alarm went off, I expanded my range so I could hear Red Alert check the monitors.

_Pit, no, it's that terrorist…_

Ravage looked at me when I got up from my desk. _Where are you going?_

"To answer the door." I said. "Stay."

Ravage yawned and re-positioned himself on my berth. _Fine._

Red Alert wanted to lock everything down and ignore him, but I wasn't going to let Wheeljack stand out there. I expanded my range further, so I could hear him. He shouldn't be here, especially unsupervised.

He did seem to be doing a little better, though his processor wasn't nearly back to normal.

I opened the front door and beckoned for him to come in. Red Alert commed me, but I ignored him. I could still hear him thinking and I knew he was just going to yell at me for letting terrorists come through the front door when there were government cameras down the street that could see the front of Perceptor's house.

"Hey," Wheeljack said dully. "Thanks for letting me in… I need to talk to… whoever's in charge."

I nodded, and led the way up the stairs to the meeting room, where Orion and Perceptor were talking.

They looked up as we came in, and silence fell.

Then Red Alert burst in behind us. "What the pit were you thinking?" he said. "Letting that psychopath in here!"

Wheeljack flinched, suddenly afraid. _I shouldn't be here, they don't trust me, they'll turn me in and take me back to Neurosis…_

"Red Alert," Orion said. "Please don't… Please calm down. I'm sure Soundwave knows it's safe."

 _Not safe…_ an image of a mech leaking from his optics flashed through Wheeljack's processor and he flinched again.

"Wheeljack?" Orion said. "Come sit down. What are you doing here?" _Did he run away from the hospital? Is everything all right?_

Wheeljack crossed his arms and didn’t sit down. "They wouldn't let me leave. I needed to come ask you something…"

"Are you all right?" Orion said.

"One moment," Wheeljack said, and then something snapped in his processor, and he felt almost nothing.

When he spoke again, his voice was flat and expressionless.

"I want to help you expose the Council. I want to help you expose the Institute."

"No," Perceptor said. "If they find out we have someone who escaped… we'll all be in danger."

Wheeljack was suddenly angry. "Don't tell me no. You lied to me."

Perceptor looked away.

"Wheeljack…" Orion said. _He needs to go back to the hospital. How can I convince him of that?_ Orion looked helplessly at me.

As if I could do anything.

"I want to help you," Wheeljack said. "And the world deserves to know about it… keeping the government's secrets just allows them to continue hurting mecha."

"That's true," Orion said. "But you've already helped us by giving us information."

Jazz slipped in to the meeting room. He'd heard us talking from downstairs and had come up to investigate.

"I want to help more," Wheeljack said. "There's more I can tell you."

"Ya talking about trying ta expose the Institute?" Jazz asked. "I'd agree that mecha aren't really buying what we wrote about it."

Red Alert frowned at Jazz. _I don't think we should be encouraging this. He obviously needs to go back to that hospital. Though apparently the security there isn't nearly good enough, if it can't even keep damaged mecha in._

"But this is huge," Perceptor said. "And extremely dangerous. The Council will go to great lengths to hide the fact that the Institute exists."

"It's too late for that, though," Jazz said. "And I bet they know it. They can say we're lying, but now there are thousands and thousands of mecha who know that it _might_ exist. And if we start claiming that we've got a mech who was _there_ , anything they do ta shut us up will just make them look suspicious."

"What are you suggesting?" Orion said.

"One of two things, depending on what ya're willing ta do, Wheeljack. Ya could either write out in detail what happened ta ya, and we can publish it somewhere, or if ya're feeling real brave, we could try ta take ya ta the Council or the media."

Perceptor almost protested again, but stopped himself. _My caution has already caused problems. If we refuse to let Wheeljack help us, then he might do something even more dangerous… but this is a terrible idea…_

"I'd do that," Wheeljack said. "Go before the Council." _I'm not afraid of them. I'm not afraid of anything… pit, wasn't I afraid just a few breems ago? I just want to go back to hunting Neurosis, but I can't do that. And I should be afraid. I should be…_

"I think it could work," Jazz said, considering all of the challenges and implications of the idea. _This could be our next thing. If we can convince the public that the Institute is real…_

They would be angry and horrified. It would be a crushing blow for the Council.

It could be a tipping point.

"The only way ta destroy the Institute is ta bring it out inta the light," Jazz said. "Can we pass up this opportunity?"

"If you want my opinion, it’s not worth the risk," Perceptor said, standing. "But I can't stop you." He turned and left the room.

Orion looked at Wheeljack, then me. "We'll have to talk with everyone else about it. But I think you're right, Jazz. So long as you're willing, Wheeljack, and you understand the danger."

Wheeljack nodded.

* * *

Breeze showed up later in the orn to ask us if we'd seen Wheeljack. She wasn't too happy about the idea of letting him go before the Council, but eventually Orion talked her around, and Wheeljack promised he'd go back to the hospital after it was over.

We announced two orns later that we had proof of the Institute's existence. We claimed we had made contact with a mech who had escaped from the place and that he wanted to testify of it in front of the Council publicly. The Council refused at first, but just the fact that they were refusing to address this concern made a lot of mecha in the city angry. Our following increased dramatically, and within a decaorn, the tension in the city-state was almost to the breaking point.

The Council had no choice. They agreed to hear the accusations Wheeljack was making against them. They even agreed to let the media record the meeting. They insisted that they would “consider this matter gravely and rationally, despite the unreasonable accusations”

They probably thought they could just confuse whoever we put forward with large words and difficult questions.

When the orn came, Wheeljack would have to go alone. None of the rest of us could be there with him. The Council wouldn't allow it and if we went they'd certainly arrest us. There was some chance they'd arrest Wheeljack, or try to, but Wheeljack insisted he didn’t care.

Just three orns before the scheduled event, we had an unexpected visitor. One of the mechs who was close enough to the inner circle to know the location of our base showed up with a reporter.

I listened warily as he was led up to the meeting room, where Orion, Megatronus, Jazz, and I were sitting. He was barely holding back questions as he memorized every visual detail of the building.

"Hey," our mech said when he reached the doorway. "Orion, this one has a message for you."

Orion looked at them, and immediately recognized the second mech as a reporter. _This could be bad._

"Hello," the reporter said, smiling.

Orion nodded. "Good orn. Come in." _Soundwave, is it all right that he's in here?_

I inclined my helm hesitantly. He was far too curious about everything, but he wasn't on the Council's side, that was for certain.

The reporter entered the room. "I was sent with some information for you from my superiors about your upcoming meeting with the Council."

"Oh," Orion said.

"They've requested—no, _ordered_ us to schedule it so we would record early and then not run the footage until joors later." He was breathless and gleeful by the end of the sentence.

Orion and Megatronus weren't quite sure why that was so exciting.

Jazz nodded. "So they can edit it the way they like. Make it look like Jackie's a lunatic, change his words—names and places—so his story doesn't sync."

"Exactly," the reporter said.

"We can't allow that to happen," Megatronus said.

"Well," the reporter said. "My employer would like you to know that he's not a revolutionary, but he _is_ in the business of telling the truth."

Knowing the media, it was more likely he was in the business of making a sensation, but, for our purposes, that was also a good thing.

"So he wants to help." The reporter continued. "Now, we can't broadcast live, because the Council won't let us. But _you_ could broadcast it if you had the footage. If you were to somehow get the camera feed from our cameras and put it up on the public databases as it was happening…"

"We can manage that," Jazz said with a smirk. _Right, Soundwave?_

Yes. We could manage that.

"Thank you," the reporter said. He itched to start asking us about Autobot, and our roles in the organization, and our motivation for joining, but he had been told specifically to deliver the message and then leave without asking any more questions. "Thank you for letting me in and listening to me."

"Thank you for risking so much to come and tell us," Orion said. "We're very grateful for your information and your help."

The mech smiled. _Now leave. I have to leave… I wish I could ask Megatronus for an interview. That would be amazing. No one's got an interview from him yet. Even Orion would be good to talk to… But no, I promised I wouldn't bother them._ "If you have any questions, I can try to answer them. If not, I'll leave you to what you were doing before."

"I'll show ya out," Jazz said with a smile. _And follow him to make sure he doesn't go anywhere suspicious. You can't trust the news mechs… and he knows where our base is, frag it._

"Okay." _He seems friendly. Maybe I can talk_ him _into giving an interview, on the way out._

The two of them left.

"Well," Megatronus said. "I'm not surprised.

"We'll have to put it up on our site live," Orion said. "But if we do that, what's to say they won't stop the interview as soon as they realize what we're doing."

"If they do," Megatronus said. "It will look like they're hiding something. I doubt they'd do something that suspicious. They'll try to discredit Wheeljack's testimony, but if all the facts line up and his story doesn't contradict anything that can be proven, then there's not much they can do."

Orion nodded.

"Hence the trick with the media," Megatronus's expression darkened. "Fragging liars."

"So…" Orion mused, "How do we do this?" _Where did Jazz go? We need him to help us plan._

"We have to let everyone know that there will be _something_ happening at that time, but not what it is," Megatronus said. "Then we can do an intro and tell everyone what's happening and why, before the Council's interview with Wheeljack starts." He smirked. "That ought to do it. And if the Council notices, so what? They can cut the interview short and make everyone suspicious, or they can edit the files and tell us exactly what they didn't want us to know. Our only danger is that Wheeljack himself could fall through on us."

"They can't win, can they?" Orion said. "But then again, evil always loses in the end."

Megatronus disagreed, but he didn't say anything.

* * *

I sat at the computer, with my symbionts. I'd told them they could come to the meeting room with me this time, if they behaved. It was crowded, and the atmosphere was full of nervous excitement. Megatronus was ready to address our mecha in the city. We'd decided he would be the one to speak, because we wanted mecha to listen, and when Megatronus talked, they _listened._

Jazz commed Red Alert, who was running communications. _"Jackie's in the building. It's time."_ We had tried to talk Jazz out of sneaking into the Council Hall to watch, but he had insisted he could do it. He was giving frequent updates on what was happening there.

"Okay," Red Alert said. "Go, Megatronus."

I nodded for him to start talking, and everyone else fell silent.

"Mecha of Iacon," he said in his distinctive, slightly raspy voice. "We've spread the word that you all should be watching the network at this time. You know that this orn, a mech who was wrongly imprisoned and experimented on in a government facility is going before the Council to testify against them. You know that the media is going to record it and make it available for you to watch. However, while that won't be aired until later this orn, the actual interview begins now. To make sure you get the full, un-edited version we have determined a way to play it for you live from the news cameras. If anyone cares to watch the Council's take on it later, you can do that as well."

We cut to the footage of the Council. Wheeljack was just getting to his place on the stage in the center of the room. He stood, looking uncharacteristically tiny in the big room. I wondered if the cameramechs were doing that on purpose.

"Designation?" Halogen's voice rang out in the silence. This felt more like an interrogation than an interview already.

"Wheeljack," Wheeljack said. He didn't exactly sound calm and collected, but he was not afraid. _That_ was apparent.

"You come before the Council with an accusation against a branch of our government, do you not?"

Megatronus narrowed his optics. _They're already trying to trick him. He can't just answer their questions—they'll talk him in circles. That's the way the Council does things._

I held still, listening. Sometimes I almost thought Searchlight remembered things from before. He was still himself in so many ways.

"I don't know," Wheeljack said.

"You don't know."

"I don't know what branch of the government I'm talking about, or who you think I'm accusing."

"Then _do_ you know why you're here?"

"I guess you could call it an accusation if you want," Wheeljack said. "I'm here to talk about the Institute, and what it is, and what I know about it."

"We have limited time," Halogen said. "This is not a storytelling convention, and we cannot listen to an extended, detail-ridden…"

"I'm not telling a campfire story," Wheeljack said. "I'm telling the world what you do to the mecha you make disappear, Halogen, of the High Council, and the details are how everyone will know that I am telling the truth and you are lying."

Senator Ratbat rose from his seat, but Halogen raised a hand. "Sit down, Senator," he said quietly, then turned to look at Wheeljack. "So you are not accusing the Council of anything, you simply wish to make claims about the existence of a place you call the Institute."

"Yes," Wheeljack said.

Halogen nodded. "Know then, that anything you say can be used against you in trial if it proves—as I suspect—that you have been involved in criminal activity, Wheeljack, of Autobot. And that these details of yours may also prove that _you_ are lying. So by all means, lay out the facts as you say you saw them. We do not have all orn, so be brief."

Wheeljack nodded.

"Start talking," Megatronus mumbled. "They'll run you out of time if you don't…"

"First though, I have a few clarifying questions," Halogen said. "How did you supposedly end up in such a place?"

"I discovered a quarter of a vorn ago that Senator Shockwave, one of my childhood friends, had gone missing some time before that, and that there had been no investigation, and no record of him ever being a senator. So I went looking for him. And I found the Institute…" A mech walked up behind Halogen and bent down to say something quietly to him.

Halogen's expression didn't change, though I was fairly certain I knew what he'd been told. "How did you find this place?"

"Well, I…" Wheeljack said, then frowned. "Do you want details, or don't you?"

"I thought that we discussed how the details of your story will determine whether or not you are telling the truth. I feel perfectly confident in allowing you to share any and all details with this Council."

 _And anything he says can be used against him,_ Megatronus thought. _So if he did anything remotely illegal in finding the institute, they can probably arrest him._

But if he didn't answer, he'd look suspicious.

"It was mostly luck, I guess," Wheeljack said. "I found some speculations that it was in Altihex, then went from there. What matters is that I found it."

"If there really was such a place," Halogen said. "Do you think it would be where someone could just stumble upon it?"

"Well, I did," Wheeljack said. "Are you going to keep interrupting me?" He was angry now. You could tell he was angry. This wasn't helping him.

"I have not been interrupting you," Halogen said. "Please calm down."

Wheeljack did, so suddenly and completely that it was like a switch being thrown. "The mech in charge of the institute is designated Neurosis," he said. "I can tell you the designations of the guards too, and my fellow prisoners, and what they were doing to us…" He started talking in detail about the Institute, rattling off information so quickly that Halogen couldn't get a word in.

Megatronus watched the councilmechs, looking for signs of discomfort. He saw them shift and look at each other as Wheeljack started describing the process of what he called 'shadowplay'.

After about a breem of his talking, there was a quiet whisper from the background. "Turn that off…"

"What?"

"I said turn it off. _Now._ "

The camera tilted, then went black.

Another feed popped up, from a different camera, but then it was cut off too.

We all sat, staring.

Then Orion and Megatronus stood. "What happened?" Orion asked.

"They stopped the cameras, of course," Red Alert snapped. "Hold on, I'm talking to Jazz."

I heard an echo of their conversation in my helm.

" _Yep. I think they're gonna arrest them. Pit."_

" _What do we do?"_ Red Alert demanded.

" _Hang on, Alpha Trion's getting up. Maybe he can talk them out of it…"_

"Well?" Ratchet said.

Red Alert held up a hand.

" _Oh, pit…"_

"What?" Red Alert said.

The comm. was cut. Red Alert blinked.

"Well?" Ratchet demanded again.

"I've lost him—he's not talking to me anymore."

"What?" Orion said. _Primus, no... please let them make it out of there._

I was getting messages from all over the city asking about what had happened.

"The video cut out," I said. "Everyone was watching."

Megatronus looked up. "So now they all know that _something_ happened. This is our moment. We can't lose it. We have to use this, and we should do it now before anyone has time to forget what has happened."

"But first we need to find out what happened to Wheeljack and make sure he's safe."

"No, it might be better if he's arrested. Then we can use that."

"What!" Ratchet said. "We can't let him get arrested! Who _knows_ what the government will do to him!"

"Bad things happen sometimes," Megatronus said. "We can turn this one to our advantage."

"Be careful," Perceptor said, putting a hand on Ratchet's shoulder to stop him from retorting. "I'm sure the Council said that about all those hospitals that were being blown up."

"This is completely different," Megatronus said. _Pacifistic old fool._

"Let's not argue," Orion said. "Red Alert and I will try to find out what happened at the Council and what we need to do to help them. Megatronus, you and Soundwave can talk about what our next move is, now that the Council has effectively confessed their guilt. Is that all right?"

Megatronus sighed. "Yes," he said. "I apologize."

"There's no need for that," Orion said grimly. "You _do_ have a point."

Jazz commed Red Alert again. _"Hey, sorry about that, mech, I got cut off."_

Red Alert held up a hand again. "What's going on?"

" _They tried ta shut everything down and then arrest him, but Ironhide managed ta get him out. The three of us are heading for somewhere safe. We're gonna lie low for a while, but we're all right, and we'll come back pretty soon. Probably within an orn."_

Red Alert let out a quiet sigh. "Well, keep me posted."

"What?" Ratchet demanded.

"They're all right. They got away. They'll come back here eventually… but I don't think Ironhide's going to be a member of the Iacon elite guard any more."

Orion let out a sigh of relief.

"All right," Megatronus said. "Let's get to work.

I wasn't really sure how it happened, but things fell into place after that. It didn't matter that Wheeljack hadn't been successfully arrested. What mecha cared about—what they really cared about—was that the Institute was real and the Council was trying to hide it.

They wanted to know. They wanted the Council to stop lying to them.

Within a few orns, thousands of mecha had risen up against the government. It wasn't just Autobot anymore, it was the entire city demanding justice and honesty.

We were starting to lose control. If things got violent, we wouldn't be able to stop it.


	79. Surrender

Everyone who lived at Perceptor's house—which included Ironhide, Chromia, and Moonracer now—was sitting in the meeting room, watching the news.

Halogen sat in front of the camera with a look of schooled resignation on his faceplate. "Mecha of Iacon," he said. "After extensive investigation into the matter, we have determined that there was such a facility as was described by the witness who stood here fifteen orns ago. You will be comforted to know that it has been shut down and that medical care is being provided to all of those who were part of it."

"He's quite the professional liar," Jazz muttered. Megatronus nodded.

"Furthermore," Halogen said. "The Council has deliberated and come to a decision. We have no desire to put unnecessary restraints or burdens on our good mecha, or promote unjust laws. As such, we have decided to pass a law that illegalizes the removal of any person from government-funded public buildings such as libraries, public schools, and Council halls on basis of class."

Orion and Megatronus looked at each other, both surprised.

That was the law we'd been lobbying for originally.

"This will be effective starting on the first of next quartex."

"Did he just…" Elita said.

Orion smiled at her. "We did it."

A cheer rose up, nearly drowning out Halogen's next words.

"As to the other issues of unrest in this city, we have discussed a solution to those as well."

We quieted, listening, hoping.

"The Council has no wish for anyone to starve. While we do not condone the actions of the rebel faction calling itself Autobot, we understand that the mecha who follow them are not to be blamed entirely for Autobot's misdeeds and acts of terrorism. At the beginning of the next quartex, the mecha who were fired from their jobs on the ground of being affiliated with Autobot will be assisted, and in many cases reinstated."

Another cheer rose from the mecha gathered in the meeting room. Orion was relieved, but Megatronus was worried. He didn't trust this good fortune, and he didn't like the idea of the Council trying to buy back the mecha of the city by returning what they'd taken away in the first place.

"We of the Council, would also ask that the leaders of Autobot step down and stop plaguing our society with your criminality. If Autobot activity does not stop, we will be forced to increase our efforts in finding and arresting those responsible. Thank you. That will be all."

The scene cut to a reporter, and Jazz turned the monitor off and turned around to face the rest of us. "What about that?" he said.

"I almost can't believe it," Orion said, still too happy about the law and the promise to get everyone's jobs back to care about the threats that Halogen had made. He put an arm around Elita, smiling.

"Well," Perceptor said. "That was good. I have some things I want to get done in my lab. I'll be there for the next few joors, if you need me." He walked to the doorway, then turned around and smiled sadly. "Well done, Orion, Ratchet, Soundwave. You continue to prove me wrong over and over again." He shook his helm and left the room.

Silence fell for a moment while Orion contemplated going after him to ask if something was wrong. He hadn't been the same after Wheeljack had re-appeared.

"We need to celebrate this," Moonracer said. "Perceptor doesn't keep any high-grade in this place, does he?"

"No," Jazz said. "Why don't we make a pilgrimage ta Maccadam's?"

"Megatronus can't go," Red Alert said. "He's too noticeable."

"Oh, come on," Jazz said. "We don't have ta take a normal route. I bet I can find us one that doesn't take us through any populated areas. We could even use the groundbridge."

The door alarm went off. Red Alert jumped and scurried over to the monitors to see who it was.

I stretched out my range and froze.

We were in trouble.

"What the pit?" Red Alert narrowed his optics. "It's that slagging enforcer again."

"Someone let him in," I said, and hurried from the room to get my symbionts. Jazz and Orion went down to let Prowl in as I rushed to my room.

Ravage looked up from watching the twins roughhouse on the floor. "What is it?"

"We a-all need to leave," I said. "Come on."

I listened as the front door opened and Prowl stepped in without waiting to be invited. "You need to vacate this building immediately. Lock all of the doors and leave through your groundbridge. Iacon enforcement is coming for you right now."

Orion stared at Prowl as the door closed behind him, celebratory feelings dissipating.

"Okay," Jazz said. "I'll go tell them ta hide everything…"

"No," Prowl said. "You don't have time. Bring everyone down here and go through the bridge. Enforcement is…"

The faint but distinctive staticky sound of a groundbridge could be heard outside the door.

"…Here" Prowl said.

Orion nodded, then sent a comm. to everyone in the house, telling them to come immediately to the basement.

I could hear them outside. They were coming and they had orders to shoot us if we tried to make trouble. They'd been asked to keep Megatronus alive to send back to Kaon, and Orion alive for questioning, but the rest of us were expendable.

With all of my symbionts clinging to me, I joined the others heading down to the basement. Orion put the coordinates into the groundbridge and turned it on, then gestured me through. I stepped into the portal and came out in our secondary base.

"Everyone off," I said, and Ravage leaped down from my shoulders. "Ravage, watch the twins," I said, setting them down.

"What? What are you going to do?"

I was going to make sure Orion and Megatronus got through.

Ironhide and the femmes came jogging out of the portal, followed by Ratchet, Red Alert, and Megatronus.

I went the other way, realizing that we were also missing Perceptor.

"…wouldn't mind," Prowl was saying. He'd just asked if he could come with us.

"Perceptor," I said.

Orion's optics widened. "Oh, Primus… I'll…"

"No," Jazz said. "You go through the bridge. I'll go get him."

The enforcers reached the top of the stairs, guns out.

"Step away from the groundbridge," one of them said.

"Go!" Jazz shoved Orion toward the bridge. I grabbed his arm and pulled him through. A plasma blast hit my pede as I did, and we burst into the back-up base in a shower of gunfire, ducking out of the way as stray shots peppered the wall.

Then the bridge imploded with a crack and a flash of light and we were left in the darkness.

For a while, everyone stared at the place where the groundbridge had been. It was almost like we were hoping that it would reappear and the mecha we'd left behind would come through. But of course, that was ridiculous.

"Perceptor was still there," Elita said at length. Everyone was a lot more worried about him than they were for Jazz or Prowl.

"What happened to the bridge?" Red Alert wondered. "Why did it do that?"

"One of those shots must have hit something and damaged it," Ratchet said. "I don't know."

"Well, at least they won't be able to follow us," Megatronus said.

"But we need to recover the others," Orion said.

"Wait," Megatronus put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's not do anything rash. We only left three behind, right?"

"They could be hurt," Orion said. "Or killed…" _I can't believe I let this happen again. It should have been me. I should have been left behind. Perceptor… I won't be able to live with myself if he…_

Elita came up on Orion's other side, and slipped her hand into his.

"Well, what do we do?" Ironhide said, "I mean, we could get a bunch of mecha together and storm Perceptor's house."

"No," I said.

It wouldn't do any good. If they were dead, they were already dead. If they weren't, then I had a feeling Jazz would be able to get them out, provided the Praxian enforcer didn't get in the way somehow.

"What do you suggest we do?" Megatronus asked.

"Wait," I said. "Jazz will contact us."

"What if he can't?" Ratchet said.

I shrugged.

"Can we try to contact them?" Orion asked.

"They're probably dead anyway," Ratchet said. "I can't believe it…"

"Hold on one astrosecond," Ironhide said. "Who said they were dead?"

"They're either dead or _worse!_ " Ratchet said. _There's nothing we can do._

Orion shuttered his optics. "No," he said. _Primus, this happened so fast._ "We have to believe we can get them back." _Maybe Soundwave's right, and Jazz can get them all out. There has to be something we can do, though..._

"Well," Chromia said, crossing her arms. "This was bound to happen eventually. How about we set up here so if they _do_ manage to communicate with us, we'll be ready?"

Good plan.

 _Soundwave,_ Orion thought. _Did those enforcers sound like they were in this to kill anyone? Do you think everyone could all still be all right?_

I didn't answer. I didn't want to tell him the truth—that they'd been told they could kill everyone besides Orion and Megatronus—and lying was more effort than it was worth. So I ignored him, collected my symbionts, and went to help Red Alert get the computer systems here running.

The back-up base was the seventh floor of an office building. Elita had actually been the one to find it for us. Her employer had been an Autobot sympathizer, and had been willing to clear out a mostly-empty floor of the building for us. It wasn't the best place to stay, and we would probably need to find a better one eventually, but for now it would do.

Enforcement would probably scour the belowground levels of the city for us, but no one would suspect that we were up in the skyspace. It would actually be easier for them to find us here, but only if they were looking.

It was somewhat larger than Perceptor's house. There were enough little offices on this floor for about four times as many mecha as we had, and several large conference rooms as well. A good place to set up, but a bad place to evacuate from.

And we no longer had the groundbridge. We were going to have to be more careful now.

I got communications set up and connected myself remotely to the computer so I could send and receive messages from our mecha in the city. I sent out a general message to everyone in Autobot to let them know that we had needed to move bases, and that we might be out of touch for a few orns, but that we were all right. I didn't mention that we were missing mecha, just in case Perceptor had managed to hide.

Then I sat down with my symbionts and waited, monitoring every communication frequency and device we had, in case Jazz was to contact me. He knew I would be listening.

But it wasn't Jazz who contacted us.

Half a joor after I’d set everything up, a message popped up on one of my datapads from Iacon Enforcement.

I hesitated, unsure whether it was safe to open, but I wanted to know what they had to say to us, so I opened it and read.

[Autobot,

This is the investigative division of the Iacon Enforcement Department. We would like to communicate with you to discuss the return of one of the core members of your organization. We are open to negotiation. To contact us, please use external comm. lines or a holographic messager so we can be sure of who we're talking to.

Thank you,

I.E.D]

And then there was a comm. code we could use.

I studied the message for a few breems.

One of the core members. Only one. It didn't mention the other two. Well, if we wanted to know more, we'd probably have to contact them. I didn't like the idea of negotiation, though. I knew that Orion would gladly trade his freedom for Perceptor's, and we couldn't let that happen.

"Are we going to get Perceptor back?" Ravage asked, reading over my shoulder.

"I don't know," I said.

"What about Jazz, and that other mech?"

I shrugged. "Stay here. Watch for more messages." I stood and took the datapad with me. The others—minus Red Alert who was touching up the security in the building, and Ratchet who was sulking somewhere, feeling helpless and miserable—were sitting in the largest conference room, alternately trying to cheer Orion up and talking about what we should do next. They looked up when I came in.

"Any news?" Ironhide asked.

Orion looked up, hopeful.

I held out the datapad.

Ironhide took it and read it out loud, while everyone else listened.

When Ironhide had finished, Megatronus shook his helm. "They don't want to negotiate, they want us to give ourselves up. We have no proof the professor's even alive."

"We can't be certain he's dead," Orion said quietly. "I think we have to try."

Silence fell for a moment.

"All right," Ironhide said. "Who's going to call him?"

"I will," Orion said.

"No," Megatronus insisted. "Orion, you're good at calming mecha down, but you're a pushover."

"Well, I don't think you should either." Ironhide glared at Megatronus.

"Do _you_ want to?" Megatronus said. "Who else is there? Soundwave? I'd suggest him, but in case you haven't noticed he doesn't like to talk."

"Mechs," Elita said calmly. "Stop fighting."

Ironhide felt a little ashamed, and even Megatronus backed off.

"I'll comm. them," she said. "What's that code again, "Hide?"

Ironhide read her off the code and she committed it to memory. "Should I talk to them right now?" she asked, "Or do we want to discuss things first?"

"Well, we don't want to make ourselves look too eager," Moonracer said. "They'll obviously want to trade something for him."

Orion looked up.

"And do not," Chromia glared at him. "Don't you _dare_ say you're willing to trade yourself, because that's _not_ happening. I could care less about your cute little cause, but anything that happens to you happens to my sister, and I'm not turning you over to the government so they can execute you, understand?"

Orion glanced at Elita, and she smiled at him and nodded.

"Very well," Orion said. "But in that case we aren't trading anyone else either."

"Of course not," Elita said.

"And we aren't going to step down either," Megatronus said. "We will _not_ disband Autobot."

"I wonder if that's the entire list of things they'll accept in trade," Ironhide crossed his arms. "Should we even bother contacting them? They'll just make us feel worse for leaving Perceptor behind."

"We need to make sure he's alive. And if we're careful, we might get them to tell us something about the other two," Elita said. "Their message didn't say anything about Jazz and that other mech."

"You think you can do that?" Megatronus said.

Elita arched an optic ridge.

"Ellie's got it covered," Moonracer said with a smirk.

"Then comm. them."

"Wait," Elita said. "We'll wait fifteen breems, then contact them. In the meantime, let's try to come up with something we're willing to trade for Perceptor."

They talked for the next fifteen breems, but couldn't come up with anything, so in the end, Elita just initiated the comm.

It took them nearly a breem before they responded. Apparently, two could play at that game. I listened in on everyone's anxiety while we waited. Since it was an external comm. but it wasn't on speaker, we'd all hear Elita's side of the conversation, but I was the only one other than Elita herself who would hear the whole thing.

Finally, they answered. _"Hello,"_ a mech at the other end of the line said. _"This is the Iacon Enforcement Department, who might I be speaking with?"_

"Good orn. I'm a representative of Autobot," Elita said. "You sent us this code so we could contact you and negotiate."

The mech at the other end hesitated. _"I expected to speak to Megatronus, or Orion Pax."_

"I'm sorry," Elita said. "They asked me to speak with you instead."

" _Are they busy?"_

"We determined that it would be better if I spoke in their behalf," Elita said. "I would appreciate it if we got to the point of this conversation. You claim to have a member of our organization in custody."

" _Yes,"_ the mech said. _"We do."_

"Then let’s negotiate," Elita said.

" _We are willing to return this mech to you alive, if you will allow us to arrest the mech calling himself Megatron."_

Elita frowned. "There is no way Autobot would be willing to make that sort of trade when we have no proof that you are, in fact, in possession of one of our mecha."

"What's he saying?" Ironhide asked. Elita held up a hand.

" _His designation is Perceptor,"_ the mech on the other end of the line said. _"He is the owner of this house, and he is currently being interrogated, but I can interrupt for you if you'd like to talk to him."_

Elita felt a pang of worry, but didn't lose her cool. "I think that would be helpful. Thank you."

"Elita?" Orion said, sensing the spike in her emotions through their bond. "Is everything all right?"

She shot him a smile, but didn't say anything.

" _Let me put you on hold for a moment."_

Elita took a deep breath as the comm. was suspended.

"What?" Orion asked.

"They're going to let me talk to Perceptor," Elita said. "Does anyone have anything they want me to tell him?"

Everyone was quiet, processors suddenly filled with uncertainty. None of them knew what to say.

The comm. line picked up again. Elita could hear muted chatter in the background.

" _I've put you on speaker,"_ the mech at the other end said. Elita hated him for his calm, slightly smug tone. _"Professor, a representative of Autobot wanted confirmation that you were alive. You can say something, and they'll hear you, I have them on speaker."_

Silence. Elita pressed her lip plates together nervously.

" _Professor…"_

Silence again. Then a muted cry of pain.

"Perceptor?" Elita said quickly, unable to keep concern from her voice.

There was a hesitation, then Perceptor's voice came over the comm. _"Elita…"_

"Yes," Elita said. "Are you all right? We're trying to negotiate your release. Hang in there, okay?"

" _Elita,"_ Perceptor's voice crackled, staticky and tense, _"Don't let Orion turn himself in…"_

"Oh, Primus, no," Elita said, smiling shakily. "We won't."

" _Good,"_ Perceptor said. _"Did everyone else…make it…"_

"Yes," Elita said, shuttering her optics and fighting to sound calm as she lied. "Everyone else made it out. We're all safe, and we'll do what we can to get you out too." _If they know Jazz and that other mech got left behind, they're not saying it. So it's safe to assume those two haven't been detected._

" _Well,"_ the enforcer said, _"You've heard him, he's still alive."_ Then more quietly. _"Go ahead, sorry for the interruption."_

" _Yes, sir,"_ another voice said.

Elita wondered for a moment why they had left it on speakerphone. Then Perceptor screamed. Elita's optics shot open, and I flinched slightly.

" _They're trying to get him to tell them where the leaders of Autobot are currently,"_ the enforcer on the comm. with Elita said in a conversational tone. He was walking away. The screaming was more distant now. _"It would be a great help if you would share that information with me."_

"Elita, what's going on?" Orion demanded.

Elita shook her helm at him, and spoke. "I don't think I can do that," she said calmly. _But if I ever had a chance, I'd rip your spark chamber out…_

" _Oh well,"_ The other mech said. _"Always worth a try. So, let's talk about what you're willing to trade for Perceptor's safe return. I'm sorry we can't promise to give him back unharmed."_

"We'd be willing to offer you more for that," Elita said coldly. "That _is_ too bad, isn't it?"

" _If you're willing to give us Megatronus, I can promise that no_ further _harm will come to him."_

"Unfortunately, there's no way to verify that."

" _Yes. That is too bad, isn't it?"_

The sound of Perceptor's screaming died out, but that might just have been because the mech Elita was talking to was far enough away from him that the comm. wasn't picking it up.

"And in any case," Elita said. "We will not be handing Megatronus over to the Iacon Enforcement. We would rather trade you something that doesn't have a spark."

" _Ah,"_ the mech at the other end said. _"There's no fair trade in that, femme. We can't take your credit, or energon or anything like that. Unless you want us to give_ you _something without a spark."_

"You may want to reconsider…"

" _No, I think_ you _ought to reconsider. Here are your options. We will trade Perceptor here for Megatron. We would also be willing to trade him for Orion Pax, or Soundwave. Those are the only offers I will make,_ Elita, _and that is final. I will give you and the leaders of Autobot some time to think about it. You can comm. me again in one joor with your answer. After that, I won't be able to guarantee the professor is alive. Do you understand?"_

"I hope that _you_ understand just how easily this conversation could become a matter of public record," Elita said. "Thank you for being a cold-sparked villain for me. Good orn." She cut the comm. and looked down at the table.

"That didn't sound good," Moonracer said.

"Elita," Orion asked, frightened. "Is Perceptor all right?"

"No," Elita said. "He's online though. He talked to me. And they say that they'll only trade him for you, Megatronus, or Soundwave." She glanced at me. _He flinched. He flinched when… was he listening in somehow?_

Pit. I did not need to deal with that right now. I did have something to say, though, for once. "If y-you trade me for him… of the-e-e three of us, I have the-e be-est chance of esca-aping again."

"No," Orion said. "We discussed this. If I'm not allowed to turn myself in, then _no one_ is. What else can we do? Can we try to rescue him?"

"Well, I recorded the whole conversation," Elita said. "We could make some mecha angry…"

Megatronus looked up. "That might be good." He glanced at Ironhide. "Maybe we _could_ storm Perceptor's house."

"We don't even know if Perceptor is still there," Ironhide said. "They could have taken him anywhere."

"Well," Elita said. "I don't like to say this, but I don't know if he's still going to be alive if we wait much longer. They gave us a joor to decide." _Primus, they're hurting him. They're hurting him, and they're going to kill him... I can't believe this. For two breems, I thought everything was going to be okay..._

"Well, then, we have a joor," Ironhide said. "Did he say anything about the other mecha who got left behind."

"No," Elita said. "Nothing. I don't think he knows about them. Or if he does, he doesn't want us to know that he knows."

"That means they could still be in a position to help," Ironhide said. "Can we contact them?"

"No," I said.

Elita nodded. "We can't. Anything we communicate to them could give them away."

"But they could contact us," I said.

"Soundwave, would you monitor that?" Megatronus said. "Make sure that if they _do_ contact us we don't miss it. The rest of us will talk about what to do in the case that they _don't_ contact us."

I nodded and held out a hand toward Ironhide. He gave me the datapad I'd handed to him at the beginning of the conversation. Then I pulled my range in as I left the room. I didn't want to think about what was happening to Perceptor right now, so I'd just focus on being absolutely certain I didn't miss any messages from Jazz.

Ravage looked up when I came in to the office that had been set up for me.

"Anything?" I asked.

Ravage nodded. "Mecha asking if we're all okay, and if they can help. That's all, though."

"Thank you." I sat down.

"What's going on?" Frenzy asked. "Can we help?"

"I need to pay attention to what I'm doing," I told him. "You can explore if you stay on this level, or you can stay in here if you're quiet."

"Okay," Frenzy said. "Come on, Rumble, let's go explore."

I commed Laserbeak to go keep an optic on them. She grumbled for an astrosecond, but then took off after them.

And I sat. We only had a joor. If Jazz didn't contact us in that time, we'd have to try something else. We had no idea what else to try.

As the breems ticked by, I tried not to get more worried. After a quarter of a joor, the twins came back, tired and bored. They curled up and went into recharge in the corner of the room and Laserbeak attached herself to the ceiling.

Eleven breems after that, someone left an interesting comment on Autobot's files on the public database.

The interesting thing about the comment was that it was heavily encrypted.

Intrigued and hardly daring to hope, I downloaded it and made quick work of decrypting it.

[Sorry about that thing with your cat all those vorns ago, Stutter.]

Jazz. It was Jazz. I let out a sigh of relief and left a comment, in plain Cybertronian, underneath Jazz's.

[Status?]

I waited, hardly daring to think. Did they know if Perceptor was all right?

[We'll still be here another joor. It would be nice if you could get us a transport or something. In all likelihood, only two of us will be capable of walking.]

So all three of them were there, and they either had Perceptor, or were confident in rescuing him when the time came. Were they still at Perceptor's house then?

[Where?] I commented.

There was half a breem of hesitation. [Could you have it wait two blocks north, then come meet us at the front door?]

The transport. Right. I could arrange for that, but only if I knew I could time it right. And it seemed they _were_ still at Perceptor's house. [If you let me know when.]

[I'll let you know.]

Good. They would get him out. I waited for a breem in case he had anything else to say, then deleted all of the comments that had made up the conversation. Ravage, who had been recharging, sitting on my shoulders, woke when I stood.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" he asked.

I nodded, and he hopped off, onto the ground.

"Stay here, I'll be back soon."

"Okay."

I left him there and expanded my range so I could hear what they were talking about in the conference room.

"I'm telling you, it's the only way."

"We don't want more violence," Ironhide said. "That's not what Perceptor would want. You _know_ he wouldn't want a lot of mecha to get hurt on his behalf. We are not going to use that conversation Elita had to incite a riot."

"Would you rather Perceptor die?" Megatronus said.

"Orion," Ironhide growled. "Please tell me you aren't considering this."

"Hello Soundwave," Elita said when I stepped into the doorway. _Thank Primus._

The others all looked at me.

"Did Jazz contact you?" Orion asked. _Please tell me he contacted you…_

I nodded. "He says he-e can get all three-ee of them out."

Orion leaned back in the chair he was sitting in, and let out a shaky sigh.

"He wa-ants a transport, though. To come pick him and the others up at the front door of Perceptor's house i-in one joo-oor."

"Now that," Elita said. "We can do."


	80. Regroup

We sat waiting, two blocks north. Our transport was a member of Autobot who had volunteered to help us almost as soon as we’d posted on our site we needed one. Ratchet was here too, and Ironhide. Orion had wanted to come, but we had talked him out of it in case there was trouble. We didn't want to risk losing.

Ironhide tapped his fingers nervously on his leg, and Ratchet muttered to himself, but I sat still and quiet. We couldn’t move until we got Jazz’s signal. I only had to hope that he knew what he was doing and that everything went smoothly.

Unfortunately, I knew that there were many times when Jazz _acted_ like he knew what he was doing, when he was really making everything up as he went. It usually worked out for him, but it wasn't comforting when you were waiting for him to contact you and you had to time everything perfectly.

But exactly one joor and three breems after he'd sent his message, I got a comm. from him, and with no introduction, he said _"Hey, mech, we wouldn't mind that ride about now."_

"Now," I said quietly.

Our transport shot forward, going faster than was wise for a mech of his size, and probably faster than was legal, but he got us to Perceptor's house just as Jazz and Prowl came running out the front door. Prowl was carrying a stasis-cuffed and obviously unconscious Perceptor. The transport skidded to a halt and threw open his door. The two black and white mechs climbed in and the transport took off like we had Unicron snapping at our tailpipes. Ratchet and Jazz both knelt over Perceptor, while Prowl and Ironhide watched. Prowl had a nasty-looking burn on one doorwing, but he couldn’t feel it. In fact, he wasn't getting any sensory data from that doorwing at all.

"I don't think we're being followed," the transport said. "I'm going to slow down so we don't get pulled over by some random enforcer who's just doing his job."

"Thank you," Ironhide said.

"Pit." Ratchet scanned Perceptor nervously, noting his uneven spark pulse and various other signs of trauma and injury. His faceplate, neck, shoulders, and arms were covered in acid burns, and some of his internal systems seemed to have sustained damage as well. "They… they tortured him."

Jazz sighed quietly.

 _I can't believe this._ Ratchet thought, wanting desperately to hit something. He looked up and locked gazes with Jazz. "You," he growled. "Don't you _sigh_ like that, like I'm overreacting. You don't care at all, don't you? You probably only brought him with you as an afterthought."

"Whoa," Jazz said, slightly offended. "Doc bot,"

" _Don't call me that!"_

"I'm really sorry," Jazz said. "We couldn't have gotten him out earlier, there were too many guards before…"

"And now you make excuses," Ratchet said. "Just shut up. You're in no position to say anything. It seems that you, of the three, are the only one who hasn't sustained damage. And _you!_ " Ratchet turned his wrath on Prowl. "How the _pit_ did that happen to your doorwing? Here, it probably hurts, I'll…"

"No, that's fine," Prowl said. "It _doesn't_ hurt, as a matter of fact. See to the professor first."

Ratchet hesitated, then looked down at Perceptor again.

"Here," Jazz said. "I'll get these off of him." He reached down and after about half a breem, he managed to get the stasis cuffs off of the professor. The sudden release of the cuffs triggered Perceptor's reboot protocols and he started to come online.

He moaned and shifted uncomfortably as his pain receptors started to activate.

"Hold still," Ratchet said, pulling a pain chip out of subspace. "You're safe." He slipped it into the port in Perceptor's neck, and the pain retreated enough for the professor to lie still and un-shutter his optics.

But his optics weren't working. He panicked, and Jazz had to help Ratchet hold him down.

"Perceptor!" Ratchet hissed. "Perceptor, calm down. You're safe. Can you hear me?"

He could, but barely. One of his audios wasn't working, and the other was only catching about half of what Ratchet was saying. He lay still after a few astroseconds, because even with the pain chip blocking almost all of the pain, struggling wasn't comfortable.

"There," Ratchet said. "Perceptor?"

He recognized Ratchet's voice. "Ratchet?" he asked.

"Yes," Ratchet said. "Calm down. You're safe."

Perceptor shuttered his useless optics and let out a quiet, agonized wail, overcome by both horror and relief. I wanted to pull my range back, but couldn't bring myself to.

Ratchet had no idea what to do. "It's okay, really. You're safe now, and I can… I can fix everything. Here, let me start by cleaning off any acid that's still on you…" He got out a rag and a gentle solvent and started cleaning Perceptor's horribly burned and discolored faceplate.

Slowly, Perceptor calmed down again and lay still and silent while Ratchet dabbed at his faceplate and shoulders with the rag.

"Ratchet…" he said at length.

"Yes?" Ratchet stopped.

"I can't… I can't see."

"Oh, Primus…"

"And… I can hardly hear."

"Let me look at your optics," Ratchet said, unable to keep the panic from his voice. Perceptor un-shuttered his optics and Ratchet scanned them. They were unlit, and were also covered with acid burn. Ratchet's scan determined that they were badly damaged. Some of their wiring had been eaten through by the acid, and he wasn't sure, at a glance, whether he could fix them. "Primus…"

Perceptor shuttered his optics again with a deep, spark-wrenching sob.

"I'll fix it," Ratchet said again. "I'll fix it, I promise." _What am I saying? I can't fix that!_

Our ride stopped in the back of the office building. It was late enough in the off-cycle that we weren't likely to be seen out on the streets.

"Thank you for taking us, mech," Ironhide said.

"No problem," the transport said, opening his door. "I… hope he's all right."

"Thanks," Ironhide said again. Jazz climbed past Perceptor and got out, and Ironhide and Prowl followed him.

"Okay, Perce," Ironhide said. "Do you think you can walk?"

"I…" Perceptor said.

"We'll support you," Ratchet said. Ironhide was too tall to help, so Ratchet climbed out and he and Jazz helped Perceptor out of the transport and to his pedes. He wasn't going to be able to stand on his own, though, so they ducked under his arms and helped him stumble forward toward the building. The rest of us followed.

"You're all safe?" Perceptor mumbled.

"Yes," Ratchet said.

"Good."

"Don't talk." _He'll make his faceplate worse…_

 _Primus, I can't believe this happened._ Perceptor thought. _At least I'm safe, but… Ratchet didn't sound very confident about fixing my optics. I'll have to make sure they don't try to take me to a hospital—we can't risk that…_

He shuddered. _I don't want them to see me like this. I'm going to have to ask them to keep me away from Soundwave, Primus knows that poor mech doesn't need any more emotional trauma in his life._

I walked closer to them. Ironhide jogged ahead and opened the door for us.

_And Orion. He'll blame himself, won't he? He can't see me…_

"I don't want…" Perceptor said. "Orion…"

"It's all right," Jazz said quietly. "Ya're gonna be fine,"

Perceptor didn't have the energy to argue.

Maneuvering him through the door wasn't easy. I expanded my range in case anyone was watching us, but fortunately, no one was there. We had a key to the maintenance elevator, so we took Perceptor that way.

Once inside, Jazz and Ratchet set Perceptor down, to sit against the wall while the elevator took us up to the seventh floor. I wasn't looking forward to Orion's reaction either. I knew he'd want to see Perceptor, but I thought it might be better if Ratchet just put the professor into stasis.

Ratchet was thinking along the same lines.

"Perceptor?" he said. "Will you let me induce stasis? I can help you better that way."

Perceptor was silent for a few moments. He was already slipping back into unconsciousness, but fought his way back to the surface again. "Okay," he said.

"Good," Ratchet said. "I don't want to drug you because you're weak enough as it is. I'm going to override your processing functions and shut you down. It might be kind of frightening, but it won't hurt."

So long as Perceptor didn't fight it, it wouldn't hurt.

Ratchet opened a panel in the back of Perceptor's helm and transformed his hand into a connector that could plug into a port there. Perceptor relaxed and let Ratchet shut him down. He went limp, and Ratchet disconnected.

The elevator reached the seventh floor and opened. Ironhide picked Perceptor up, and led the way out.

"I have an office set up," Ratchet said to Ironhide. "This way. You, Praxian, come too."

Prowl wanted to talk to Orion first, so he ignored Ratchet. The medic glared at him but was too worried about Perceptor to make a scene. The rest of us went to the conference room.

Everyone looked up and immediately realized who we were missing.

"Perceptor?" Orion asked.

"With Ratchet," Jazz said. "Everymech here all right?"

"Yes," Orion said. "Are you?"

"I'm fine," Jazz said. "This mech on the other hand," he jerked his helm in Prowl's direction. "Has incurred the wrath of the Hatchet. He'd better be careful about that."

"Oh my," Elita said. "Your doorwing…"

"Is not painful," Prowl said calmly. "Orion Pax, I know this is probably an inopportune time, but I would like to request to join your organization." _There's no way I can go back to Praxus._

"Of course," Orion said. "And you may stay here. We have space, and energon."

"Really?" Megatronus raised an optic ridge. "I don't know that we can trust him… and he's not going to be much help. What exactly does he intend to do for Autobot? We can't just hide everyone who—"

"Hey," Jazz cut in, surprising everyone. "This ain't some sort of exclusive club."

"If you would prefer, I can leave in a few orns," Prowl said, "Once I have made arrangements to stay somewhere else. And as to your concerns," he looked at Megatronus. "I will be more help than _most_ of the mecha here combined,"

Jazz frowned. _I just stood up for him and now he's gone and insulted everyone again. Oh well._

"You may stay," Orion said. "And it is not conditional on how much you help us. Soundwave, can you find him a room?"

I nodded.

"Then make sure Ratchet sees him about his doorwing."

I nodded again.

"Thank you." Orion stood. _Now I need to go see Perceptor. If he's with Ratchet, that means he's not all right._

I gestured for Prowl to follow me. He was immensely relieved that Orion had say he could stay here. If he was so worried about it though, he ought to have asked a little more nicely.

Orion and Elita went to check on Perceptor while Prowl followed me. I found him a smallish office. He deemed it acceptable, and I walked away. If he didn't go see Ratchet on his own, the medic would eventually hunt him down. It wasn't my job.

Right now, I needed to get all of my symbionts settled for the off-cycle, and hope that the next orn would be less hectic than this one.

I'd never seen anyone else as badly hurt as Perceptor. Normally it was me who got injured. I felt guilty for thinking it, but it was kind of nice that it _wasn't_ me this time. I scooped the twins up from the floor of my office and carried them with me to my room.

"Is everything all right?" Ravage asked, padding along behind me.

"Perceptor's hurt," I said. "But he'll get better."

"Okay," Ravage rubbed his helm against the back of my legs. "I'm glad you weren't hurt."

"Me too," I said quietly. I had volunteered to take Perceptor's place. I would have done it too, but I was glad I hadn't needed to.

I set the twins down. We were all recharging on the ground, but it wasn't too bad. Ravage followed me back to the little office where I'd left Laserbeak. She'd been recharging too, and wasn't too happy when I woke her, but she obediently followed me back to my room.

Once there, I curled up on the floor with all of my symbionts around me. I couldn't get the image of Perceptor's faceplate out of my processor, but eventually I managed to slip into recharge anyway.

* * *

I came online to the sound of someone knocking on my door. Still booting up, I stretched out my range to see who it was. Elita and the other femmes. They were unhappy about something, and intended to get some answers from me. Fine then.

I pushed myself into a sitting position, then got up. I checked my internal timepiece and realized I had been recharging longer than I ought to. The twins were already awake and doodling naughty things on a datapad I'd given them. Honestly, those two were incorruptibly bad.

"Turn that off," I said quietly to them, then went to get the door.

"Hi," Elita said. "Sorry to bother you. Can we talk to you?"

"Come in," I said. There were several chairs around the room that I'd moved out of the way to give me enough space to stretch out on the floor.

I knew what I was going to have to say to them, but that didn't mean I had to like it. At least I sort of trusted them.

"Okay," Elita said. "Not to bother you about this, but it kind of seemed like you were listening in on the conversation I had last orn. I get that you need to monitor things and that you're in charge of communications, but… are you hacking our comms?"

I sighed. Ravage planted himself in between me and them. "Leave him alone," he growled.

"No, It's all right," I said. "They're right to question."

These three were not going to take this well. They were already unhappy with me. But if I didn't say it, then they'd be even angrier.

"So," Elita said. "Explain?"

"All right, but you're going to have to be… open-minded,"

Chromia crossed her arms. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"This is a-a secret," I said. "Not… a ve-ery secret one, but a se-ecret nonetheless." I took a deep vent. My stutter was acting up, and I needed this to come across clearly. "Orion knows. Perceptor, Ratchet, Red Alert, Jazz, Megatronus…my symbionts, Breeze, my caretaker, various other friends."

Cablereach. Primus, I needed to talk to Cablereach.

"Okay," Elita said.

"I'm actually surprised and grateful Orion didn't tell you," I said to Elita. "I didn't used to think he could keep it a secret."

"Just tell us what it is?" Chromia said. _Poor Ellie. At least 'Hide didn't know. I'd kill him if he knew some big secret he wasn't telling me._

"I can read minds," I said.

They all stared.

"Wait…" Moonracer said. " _What?_ "

"Talk to Orion about it," I said. "Tell him I told you and that I said he can talk to you about it."

"No," Moonracer said. "What?"

"This isn't some sort of joke?" Chromia said.

"It's not," I said. "And I ha-ate explaining it."

"Everyone says he's lying," Ravage said. "And then they're scared of him, and if any of you ever try to hurt him because you're scared of him, I'll kill you."

"Ravage!" I said. There would be no need for that. I was pretty sure these femmes wouldn't be trying to kill me any time soon.

"So…" Elita said, starting to work through it in her processor. I was getting a little tired of this. Maybe I should just make it public knowledge and deal with everyone working through it at the same time.

"And eve-erything you're thinking, I've heard before," I said. "Y-you asked, I answered. I'll ju-ust say I'm sorry for invading your privacy, but it's not entirely optional." I gestured to the door. "Talk to Orion."

"I… think we will," Elita said. "So sorry to bother you."

"He's not telling the truth," Moonracer said.

"Let's go see what Orion has to say," Chromia said. _Since this one obviously isn't going to explain himself._

I waited for them to leave, then brought my symbionts back to the privacy of my makeshift office. Once there, I commed Cablereach. It had been a long time since I'd talked to him.

It took him a few breems to get back to me.

" _Soundwave,"_ he said. _"This is unusual. Is everything all right? Do you need my help with anything?"_

" _Cablereach…"_

" _Yes?"_

" _Uh… there are some things I'm not sure you know yet. Have you heard of Autobot?"_

" _Yes,"_ Cablereach said. _"I'm really proud of you and Ratchet. Yes, I know you're part of it. I do happen to have a good friend who's part of your organization, after all. I'd join, but Graycharter asked all of us teachers at the school not to. He doesn't want us to discourage the students from joining, of course, but… I'm talking too much. Primus, Soundwave, it's been too long since I talked to you. Is there some sort of occasion, or did you just comm. me to chat?"_

" _Uh…"_

" _Is everything all right, Soundwave?"_

" _Everything's_ going _to be,"_ I finally decided on saying. _"But… our headquarters was discovered by Enforcement and we had to leave."_

" _Oh… is there something I can do to help? Do you need somewhere to stay?"_

" _We had plans in place. It's not that. It's just that we left a few mecha behind… Perceptor, actually, was one of them."_

Silence on the other end.

" _We got him back, but he's hurt. I just thought you ought to know, since he's your friend."_

The silence stretched out for several more astroseconds, before Cablereach spoke.

"… _Thank you," he said, "for contacting me."_

" _He's going to be all right."_

I think.

" _Yes. You said that,"_ Cablereach said. _"How…badly is he hurt?"_

" _It's mostly just… his faceplate. Ratchet's not sure if he can fix his optics or not, but other than that, the damage probably won't be permanent."_

" _Oh, Primus beneath…"_ Cablereach said. _"Was… What_ happened _to him?"_

I didn't answer.

" _Soundwave,"_ Cablereach said. _"Can I come see him?"_

I hadn't exactly been expecting that. I wasn't sure what to say.

" _Soundwave?"_

" _I'll ask,"_ I said. _"Our current location has to remain a secret, but… I can probably convince Orion that we can trust you."_

There was silence on the other end for a while, but Cablereach didn't end the comm. Eventually, he spoke. _"Thank you once again for letting me know."_

" _I'll comm. you as soon as I've talked to everyone about you coming here."_

" _Thank you so much…"_

" _Are… you okay?"_

" _I just… yes, I'm all right. I'm just a little shocked is all."_

I wanted to apologize, but having two unpleasant conversations, one after another, was already too much talking.

" _I should get back to class… I'll talk to you soon, then?"_

" _Yes."_

" _Take care, Soundwave."_

" _You too."_

Cablereach hesitated a moment longer, then cut the comm. I sat back in my chair and sighed. It was shaping up to be a very long orn.

* * *

It _was_ a very long orn.

And the longer it went on, the more I missed Perceptor's house and the way things had been. There was so much tension in the atmosphere that I was certain something would snap before too long. Orion hadn't been able to recharge the off-cycle before, and he was miserable and guilty. Megatronus needed to spar, but we couldn't just groundbridge to a training room anymore. The femmes were still getting over finding out that I could read minds, and _everyone_ was still getting over what had happened to Perceptor. What really didn't help things, What really, _really_ didn't help things was Prowl being here. Ratchet had carefully patched up his doorwing and re-connected its sensory functions with the Praxian's grid. It certainly hurt, but I didn't think it was enough to excuse Prowl's general unpleasantness or his air of aloof condescension. He was not making himself popular, especially with the already unhappy femmes. The most infuriating part for _me_ though was that he really didn't mean all the insensitive things he said. He just seemed to have decided that being tactful and pleasant toward other mecha was beneath him. Or maybe that he just couldn't do it, so why bother?

A little after mid-orn, Perceptor started coming out of stasis. Ratchet noticed, and considered forcing him back under, but decided to let him wake up instead.

I left my symbionts in my office and went to find Orion, who was sitting alone in a smallish conference room, contemplating his place in the universe.

I walked up to him and stopped.

"Soundwave," he said, standing. "The femmes came. They told me you told them…I explained it all. I think I managed to convince them not to worry about you."

I inclined my helm. "Thanks. Perceptor's waking up."

Orion stiffened, then nodded. "I'm coming."

We made our way to Ratchet's office. We knew if we told anyone else they'd want to come too, and Ratchet would probably kick us all out. But just the two of us ought to be all right.

Orion knocked on the door to Ratchet's makeshift office, and he came to get it.

"You two," he said. "Typical. Come in, then, he's coming online." _I wondered if I ought to send for Orion, and decided against it._ He glared at me. _I suppose there's no keeping it from you, though, Soundwave._

We entered and sat down by the medical berth Ratchet had set up. Perceptor's faceplate looked just as bad as it had the orn before.

He woke slowly. Ratchet had given him something to dull the pain, but it didn't cancel everything out, and waking up wasn't particularly comfortable.

Perceptor remembered what had happened and wished fervently that he didn't have to be conscious yet. He didn't want to deal with this.

_Just put me back in stasis. Oh, Primus, it hurts…_

Perceptor tried to hold his faceplate as still as possible as he finished coming online. Ratchet had managed to fix his audios. But when he un-shuttered his optics, he still couldn't see.

"Perceptor?" Orion said.

Perceptor shuttered his optics again. "Orion."

"I am so sorry," Orion said. "I…" He wasn't sure what to say

"Orion," Perceptor said with a bit of a pained smile. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Don't talk," I said quietly. "It hurts."

"Soundwave."

"I said don't talk. I'll talk for you."

_He would do that? Thank you, Soundwave._

I shrugged, then realizing that Perceptor couldn't see it, spoke. "No problem."

"Perceptor," Ratchet said. "Uh… I need your permission to… I mean, there's no way I can fix your optics with them still in your helm. And I can't replace them because I don't have the materials here. But if I were to remove them, I might be able to repair them to some extent."

_Soundwave, tell him I trust him, and he has my permission to do whatever he feels is necessary._

"Perceptor trusts you," I said. "You can do it. He says you can do whatever you need."

"Okay," Ratchet said. "Thank you. I know I don't deserve that trust."

_Nonsense._

"Your self-repair system will have to heal your faceplate," Ratchet continued. "I can't do anything about that besides help keep the pain under control. That will take maybe a decaorn, and in that time you'll need to rest as much as possible. There might be some scarring, but without access to better equipment… As for your shoulders and arms, I've repaired everything that I could, and the rest can be taken care of by your self-repair. I'll want to keep you in here for the rest of this orn, but after that, we can relocate you to one of the other rooms—somewhere nearby. I'm sorry. I could help more if I had some real medical technology. Even if I had my office back at your house…"

_Tell him I'm grateful anyway, and not to worry about it._

"He says it's fine,"

Ratchet sighed.

"Perceptor?" I said. "I have something to ask too. I commed Cablereach and told him you were hurt. He wants to come visit you."

Orion looked at me. _Cablereach… that's Soundwave's secondary school teacher, isn't it? The one who knew about his abilities._

Perceptor thought about that for a while. _I wouldn't mind that… not this orn though. Not yet. I would want to actually talk to him, and I can't do that yet._ He was trying hard not to think about the pain. He didn't want it to bother me.

There was someone else I needed to contact about this.

"Orion?" I said. "Can I invite a few mecha to come here? Mecha I trust."

"Yes, of course," Orion said.

"Thank you."

We stayed and talked with Perceptor for a few more breems, but then Ratchet shooed us out, and I went back to my office.

I contacted Breeze and let her know what had happened to Perceptor, asking if she could come talk to him, to make sure he was all right mentally and emotionally.

She got back to me quickly, and let me know she'd be available the next orn, and asked for more information about how Perceptor was doing, which I provided. I also commed Cablereach again to let him know that he'd be able to visit the next orn, and that Perceptor was looking forward to it.

Then I had to answer a lot of questions from well-meaning mecha in the city who wanted to know if we were all right, and what they could do to help.

By the end of the orn, I was so exhausted I could barely keep my stutter under control. I was up late anyway, and slipped into recharge in my office. It didn't really matter. It wasn't any less comfortable than my new room.


	81. Checkmate

We arranged for Breeze to meet us early the next orn. She wanted to talk to Perceptor right away, but he was recharging.

So, while we waited, she told Orion and the others about Wheeljack's progress. She'd gotten him into a very good mental hospital, and had managed to get transferred there herself so she could work with him personally. She couldn't say much about his specific progress, but she assured them he was improving. She was quite proud of him, though from her thoughts and memories, it was obvious he was turning into a very different mech from the Wheeljack that we had known in secondary school. He'd changed even more than Searchlight. Of course, Searchlight hadn't really changed, just forgotten.

Eventually, Perceptor came online. I sent a quiet comm. to Breeze, and she excused herself and followed me.

We'd moved Perceptor out of Ratchet's office and to his own room, which was convenient for me, because it meant I could stop by the room we were storing our energon in an grab a cube.

Perceptor heard us as we came in.

 _Good orn, Soundwave,_ he thought tiredly. _It is you, isn't it?_

"Yes," I said, approaching the berth. "I brought energon. And Breeze."

Breeze had stopped in the doorway, staring, horrified, at the professor. But she composed herself and came in. "Good orn."

"Ah, Breeze," Perceptor said, and tried to sit up. I set the energon down and helped him into a sitting position. "How is Wheeljack doing?"

"I can talk for you again," I said.

"No, it's all right," Perceptor said. "It's not so bad, but thank you for offering." He was careful to keep his optics shuttered… he knew it was probably disturbing to see the empty sockets where they ought to be.

"Can we talk for a while?" Breeze asked.

"Of course, my dear. Soundwave can stay too, if he wants. He's going to be listening anyway." _Ouch… I need to try to speak in shorter sentences._

"First, you should have some energon." Breeze joined me and took the cube of energon I'd brought. "Would you like to try drinking it yourself, or do you want me to help."

Perceptor hesitated.

"I'll help," Breeze said. She took his hand and put the cube in it, then helped him guide it to his lip plates. The contact with the cube and his damaged faceplate was painful, but he didn't complain, and drank all of it. Breeze handed the empty container to me, and I set it to the side again.

"I'm very sorry about what happened to you," Breeze said solemnly. _He looks awful. It must have been so horrible…_

"I will recover."

"I'm sure you know I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it."

Perceptor smiled, but was hit by a wave of horror and misery. "I think I'll be all right. Really, femmeling. I don't know if I'm up for an extended conversation anyway. Perhaps you could tell me how Wheeljack's doing.” _That whole thing—what happened to him is my fault._

"He's much better," Breeze said. "I can't give you all the details. Patient confidentiality and all that. But from what we've seen so far, he's going to make as close to a full recovery as anyone does after something like that."

Perceptor sighed. "Would you tell him I'm sorry, next time you see him?"

"I will," Breeze said.

Perceptor nodded, somewhat comforted.

 _Like he said I don't think he's ready for an extended conversation, especially about what happened to him,_ Breeze thought. _His faceplate looks painful, but I doubt he wants to be left alone..._ She looked at me, and I nodded. I wasn't much for conversation, but I knew _she_ liked to talk.

We stayed and talked to him for nearly half a joor, by the end of which he was feeling tired and worn out, but still better. Breeze and I left the room.

 _He's going to be all right,_ she thought. _That's a terrible, traumatizing sort of thing for anyone, and I don’t know if he’s ready to face it or talk about it yet, but at least he seems all right for now._

I nodded. "Thank you."

"No, thank you for calling me in," Breeze said. "I'm always happy to help. In fact, I want to talk to some of the mecha here if they'll let me. Tension seems pretty high from what I've seen. Where's Orion?"

I led her to him. He was sitting in a small room, talking with Megatronus and Ironhide.

"Oh, Breeze," Orion said when we came in. "Did you talk to Perceptor? Is he going to be all right?"

"He's going to be fine," Breeze said. "He'll take some time to recover, emotionally as well as physically, but I think he'll be okay."

"Thank you."

Breeze shook her helm. "I'm happy to help. Actually, I was hoping I could talk to you, too, in private. I want to… well, I want to perform a casual psychological examination on some of the mecha here. You've all had so a lot of stress lately, and I have the orn off of work so I've got plenty of time."

"Oh," Orion said. "That's fine with me. You'll have to ask everyone, though. I can't force them to let you talk to them. Do you want to talk to _everyone_ , or just…"

"Let's see," Breeze said. "You and Megatronus, at least. Ratchet too, but I'll have to be sneaky about it." _I haven't seen Ratchet anywhere though..._

He had barricaded himself in his office and was trying to repair Perceptor's optics.

"You should interview Red Alert," Ironhide said. "Something in that mech's helm is wired wrong."

"I can ask him too," Breeze said. "And the new one, the enforcer… he doesn't seem to be integrating very well into the rest of the group."

Ironhide snorted. "That's one way of putting it."

"I want to talk to him in any case. And if I have more time after that, I can talk to the femmes, and you," she nodded to Ironhide. "But I'm not so worried about you four. I should probably talk to Jazz too. He's been pretty open and friendly since… since he joined Autobot." _He's changed, for certain. Definitely for the better too. Was he always like that, or was he bad through and through in secondary school, Soundwave?_

I shrugged. In the beginning, he'd been awful, but by the time they'd been expelled, he mostly wished Verdict would give up and leave us alone. It hadn't stopped him from kidnapping Ravage, of course.

A lot of mecha, I thought, did wrong things when they didn't want to, because their friends were doing them, because they had found ways to justify it, or because they had done them for so long that it was habit.

"Can I start with you, Orion. And then Megatronus?"

"I don't think you want to know how my mind works," Megatronus said.

"Don't worry," Breeze said, forcing herself to keep a light tone. She was dreading talking to him, but felt like she had to do it. She was worried by what she'd heard other mecha say about him. "It won't be a spark scan or anything, and I certainly won't expect you to tell me anything you feel uncomfortable talking about. Also it'll be confidential, so I won't share the details of the discussion with anyone else."

"Fine then," Megatronus said. _She's one of the ones who knew me before._ He met her gaze. _She knows. She knows who I was and I'm sure she wants me to conform to that. She's going to be disappointed._

Breeze looked away from him. "Orion?"

"All right," Orion stood. "Where should we go?"

Breeze took him to a small office to talk. I debated going back to hide in my office, but decided to join everyone else in one of the conference rooms instead. They'd moved the big table off to the side of the room, and the chairs were scattered around. Jazz and Moonracer were sitting on the floor playing a board game, while Chromia and Elita chatted. Prowl was sitting in the corner, at the table, trying to pretend he wasn't watching the game, and flinching every time someone made a stupid move.

Jazz was obviously winning, but he and Moonracer were laughing and joking about it. I went and sat near Prowl, then expanded my range to check on Perceptor. He was bored and lonely.

Well then.

I got up again and made my way to Perceptor's room.

"Hello," he said when he heard me come in. _I can't tell who it is…_

"Hi," I said. "Do y-you want to come join everyone else? You could sit and listen to them all talk."

 _That sounds nice. I would love that. Can you help me stand up and lead me there?_ He had been lying down, but he sat up and let me steady him as he stood. I let him set the pace as we walked slowly toward the large conference room. When we got there, Ironhide was trying to help Moonracer—giving her advice. Elita noticed us and she dragged a chair over to the wall by the door.

"Good orn, Perceptor," she said cheerfully. "Glad you could join us."

"Thank you, Elita," Perceptor said quietly.

We guided him to the chair and he sat down, feeling content. Elita decided against starting up a conversation with him, but she and Chromia sat close to him so he could listen to them talk.

"Move the Prime to delta delta alpha," Ironhide said. "Get that battle tower of his off the grid."

"'Hide!" Chromia called from across the room. "Are you giving her bad advice?"

"No," Ironhide said. "I am not!"

Moonracer moved her piece and took Jazz's battle tower.

Jazz studied the board for a few astroseconds. There was a move he could make to win. Prowl knew it. Jazz knew it too, but he wasn't sure whether he wanted to strike the killing blow just yet. He was enjoying himself and didn't want the game to end.

But he figured it would only prolong the inevitable, so he shrugged and moved. "Game over."

"Wha…oh…" Moonracer looked down at the board. "Well, I guess you win. How did I not see that?"

"Play again?" Jazz asked.

"No thank you," Moonracer said. "I'll just get scrapped again. I rust at this game."

"Nah, you're pretty good."

"Here, I'll play," Ironhide said.

"Be my guest," Moonracer got up and came over to join the other femmes. After a few breems, Breeze and Orion came in, and Breeze beckoned Megatronus. He rolled his optics, but followed her. It was such a Searchlight thing to do that it felt like he'd stabbed her, but she kept a neutral look on her faceplate as she led them away.

Ironhide would probably have beat Moonracer, but Jazz was much better than him, and won twice before the larger mech gave up.

"Any challengers?" Jazz asked.

Prowl thought about it, then decided against it. He figured that everyone would be much happier if he just stayed in the corner and minded his own business.

Jazz looked up at me. _Except you. I'm not gonna play this game against you, you cheater._

Well, it wasn't _my_ fault.

"I'll play," Orion said, and sat down on the floor across from Jazz.

"Beat him for me," Ironhide sat down next to him to watch.

Megatronus came back, and Breeze went over to Prowl.

"Hello," she said. "I'm Breeze. You might not have heard of me, but I'm a friend of Soundwave's."

Prowl looked at her, doorwings held at an annoyed, unfriendly angle.

"Can I talk to you for a few breems?"

"About what?" Prowl asked.

"I just want to talk. I'm a psychologyist and I'm just checking on everyone here to make sure they're all…"

"Autobot has a psychologist?"

"Not normally," Breeze said, still friendly but a little hurt by his harsh, suspicious tone. "But I came by to talk to Perceptor and I figured with all the stress that everyone's gone though lately…"

"Well, I just joined," Prowl said. "And I don't need an examination."

"Oh," Breeze said. "It's not so much an examination, just someone to talk to for a few breems. That's all right, though." She sat down next to him. _We can do it in private, or we can do it right here. He is_ really _hostile._

_What does this femme want?_

"So," Breeze said. "I heard you came and warned them. That must have been a difficult decision to make."

"On the contrary. It was very simple," Prowl said.

"To leave your profession and your home and go help Autobot?"

"Yes."

Breeze was a little taken aback. "Have you… been friends with Orion for long?"

"I am not friends with Orion," Prowl said. "I've spoken to him five times in my entire life. From his actions, though, he appears to be doing what is right, so I will endeavor to help him. And I don't appreciate you trying to coax information out of me about my mental state. I am perfectly aware of my own abilities and flaws and I don't need anyone else to tell me about them."

 _Ah,_ Breeze thought. _I see what Ironhide meant…_

Prowl looked away from her and flicked his doorwings dismissively.

_He's an enforcer. He has to work with mecha every orn… I wonder if he has some mecha he gets along with, or if he's like this to everyone. He's so defensive… And he doesn't want me to like him. He's trying to push me away, trying to get me to leave him here to sulk, but that's not going to happen._

Breeze didn't try to talk to him anymore, but turned around to watch the game between Jazz and Orion instead, pondering her next move.

They were fairly evenly matched, so the game took a while. Breeze noticed that Prowl was paying a lot of attention to it, even though he tried to hide it.

Near the end of the game, everyone was cheering for Orion, but he was losing. Ironhide and Chromia, and even Elita were offering advice, most of which he didn't take.

When Jazz won, everyone moaned, but they were all enjoying themselves. Jazz raised a fist into the air. "Undefeated!"

"Shut up," Chromia said.

"That was a good game," Orion said, standing.

"Rematch some time," Jazz said, standing as well and shaking Orion's hand. "That _was_ a good game. Ya almost had me. Anymech else want ta try?"

"Prowl will," Breeze called from the side of the room.

Prowl glanced at her, resentful.

"Okay," Jazz smirked.

"No," Prowl said. "I will not."

"Why?" Jazz's smile deepened. _Oh, I would just love to beat him at this game._ "Never played before? Or are ya just scared I'll win, mister 'I can come up with a better plan than you'?"

Prowl hesitated.

"Okay, if ya don't wanna play, I'll just clean up."

"I'll play," Prowl said. "One game." _I'll just let him beat me quickly and it'll be over. Primus, I haven't played this game in vorns._ He got up and walked over to sit across from Jazz, who reset the game to the beginning.

"Your move first, mech," he said. No one was sure who to root for. They definitely didn't want to cheer Prowl on.

Prowl steeled himself and made the stupidest first move he could think of.

Jazz wasn't fooled. He raised an optic ridge at Prowl, then looked down at the board again. He made a move that threatened some of Prowl's important pieces. If Prowl continued to try to throw the game, Jazz would let him. But he wasn't too worried. He'd been stuck in Perceptor's house with this mech for almost an orn, and he was pretty sure Prowl's pride wouldn't let him lose this game without putting up a fight.

Prowl almost made another stupid move, but he couldn't bring himself to. He couldn't bear to play the game like an amateur, when he was absolutely certain he could beat Jazz instead.

He moved.

Jazz moved.

The game intensified quickly, but this time instead of cheering, there was silence as the two of them rapidly moved their pieces forward and backward, dodging and attacking.

It still only took five breems for Prowl to win.

Jazz scowled at the board. He had hoped that Prowl would be good, but he hadn't expected him to be _this_ good. "Rematch," he said. "I wasn't ready."

Everyone, including me, thought Prowl would refuse, but he didn't. "Very well."

He won again.

And a third time.

By the third round, many of the mecha in the room had lost interest. They didn't like the fact that Prowl was so good at this.

"Okay," Jazz said after his third loss. "I guess you're the new champion now." _But not for long._

Oh great.

Prowl raised an optic ridge. "This isn't a tournament."

"Sure it is," Jazz said. "Hey, Soundwave!"

Everyone looked up from what they were doing.

"Bet you're pretty good at this game. Wanna challenge this mech?" _That'll stop him. He's too slagging good at this game, but that won't matter if he's playing against a telepath._

"Yes!" Moonracer said. "Soundwave should play against him."

 _Oh dear…_ Breeze looked at me as everyone else started encouraging me to come challenge Prowl at this game. If I played it like I meant it, I would win. Prowl was amazing, but I knew what he was going to do before he did it. It would take a long time, because I wasn't a very aggressive player, but I would win. In fact it would be easier for me to win against him than against Jazz because Jazz didn't plan very far ahead.

I took Jazz's place across from Prowl. He was studying me thoughtfully. _This mech hasn't made any attempts to befriend me or talk to me, which I appreciate. They all seem to think he can beat me, though._

It was my move first.

I made the same move he'd made when he'd been playing against Jazz. Prowl didn't react to it externally, but he appreciated the irony. He wasn't going to go easy on me, though, even if I was asking nicely.

He moved again, and I moved right after him, blocking his attempt to capture one of my important pieces.

Everyone was watching, which made both of us uncomfortable.

Prowl moved.

I moved.

Sometimes I'd make a show about thinking what my next move ought to be. But other times, we would make moves in rapid succession. After a few breems, they stopped watching the game and were just watching us. They couldn't even tell from the board who was winning.

Watching us didn't help either. Prowl's expression never deviated from a cold and calculating stare, and mine was nonexistent.

But we both knew who had the upper hand.

He could think very far ahead, but as far as he thought, I could match him, strategy for strategy.

He was starting to get desperate.

 _How? How is he doing this? I can't catch him, he blocks things forty moves in advance..._ He changed his plan again and made a different move.

I took one of his pieces.

 _Pit, I'm getting sloppy,_ Prowl thought. _He's going to win. How is he doing it? It's like he knows exactly what I'm going to do._

He moved again, pinning one of my pieces.

I moved a different one—the one he was really targeting—out of danger.

He stared at it. _How?_

If I could have smirked, I would. Prowl wasn't used to being baffled by anything. Part of him wanted to call me out on some sort of cheating, but he couldn't figure out _how_ I was cheating.

_How is he doing this?_

Everyone was watching us now that Prowl had spent so long thinking about his next move.

 _There's no way he could predict me that well…_ He thought back through the game, noting every time I'd blocked something he had planned in the future. _Not unless he and I had played many times. His strategy is very different from mine, but he knows exactly what I'm intending to do. There is literally no way that's possible. Maybe this is some sort of bizarre dream._

"Your move," I said, starting to worry. He wasn't going to let this go, was he? He was going to ask questions. He was going to want to know how I did it, and I did _not_ trust this mech.

He looked up at me.

 _He does know. He_ must _know. It's too unlikely to be luck. He's good at this game, but he's not as good as I am. Yet he's winning._

_There's only one explanation._

Pit.

 _I suppose they all know you're a telepath. That's why they were so happy for you to challenge me._ He looked down at the board again. Everyone else was staring at it, trying to figure out what had given Prowl so much pause.

 _Very well._ Prowl thought. _Challenge accepted._

I was taken aback. He hadn't given up yet? But there was no way he could…

His processor picked up speed. He made plans and counter-plans and started running a dizzying number of scenarios through his mind simultaneously.

Then he moved.

I had no idea why he had moved that piece. He diverted all of his power to his processor, leaving his doorwings half blind and himself barely capable of motion as he thought even more quickly.

I made a move.

He took a piece.

All right then.

I moved again, trying to pick out his plan among all of the extra noise. Or, trying to pick out which plan of the fifty or so he was simultaneously developing that he intended to use. It was like listening to a lot of mecha at close range and was starting to make me feel dizzy.

He moved.

I moved.

He took another piece.

I figured out his plan and gained some ground for a few breems, but then he switched and I lost track again.

I moved.

He moved.

Everyone was watching, shocked that Prowl seemed to be winning. He sped up, moving almost as soon as I'd released my last piece. Flustered, I tried to slow the game down, but it was hard to focus when he was thinking enough for ten mecha.

He cornered me and I evaded him, trying to pay attention to the board and ignore all of the random noise in his processor. He cornered me again, and I evaded him a second time.

Then he won.

Silence filled the room, at least on the outside. Prowl carefully slowed his processor down, re-distributing his power and checking his fuel levels and vital systems.

"What was that?" I asked. I expected him to refuse to think about it, but he didn't.

With a smug smile, he met my optics. _Battle computer. It's an adult frame transition upgrade specific to a profession, like medic hands. Most mecha don't qualify for it so you might not have heard of it. I was working toward a job in the Praxian High Command's tactical department._

Everyone else was still staring at us. Ironhide was a little confused, but everyone else was shocked. Some of them thought I must have let him win.

 _Nothing to yours, of course. Where did you get_ that _upgrade?_

"Well, it wasn’t by choice," I said quietly, then stood and walked away, leaving everyone a little confused, except for Prowl, who felt a pang of actual sympathy for me.

 _I wouldn't mind playing against you again sometime,_ he thought as I exited the room. _That's the closest anyone's come to beating me for a long time._

"How?" Moonracer demanded. "How did you beat him?"

Prowl stood. "The board records games. If you'd like, you can study our moves and maybe that will help you improve your own strategy." He walked back over to the side of the room, feeling drained and a little dizzy himself. Moonracer glared at him.

I got to my office and shrank my range. My processor felt strained. Not bad enough that I was going to have a processor ache, but enough that I was tired.

* * *

Breeze finished talking to mecha over the next few joors, and then came to say goodbye to me.

I let her into my office. The twins were ecstatic to see her and she spent a few breems catching up with them, then came to stand behind me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Searchlight would be really proud of you," she said. "What _happened_ with that board game?"

I shrugged. "He's really good at it."

She shook her helm. "All right, don't tell me. Soundwave… I'm worried about Megatronus."

I looked up.

"He's not… you know." _Not Searchlight anymore._

"Yes he is," I said. How could she say that?

She shook her helm. "It's the same spark, but… he's different."

I shook my helm. "He's broken," I said. "But that doesn't mean…"

"It means he's not stable. He's skeptical, argumentative, and violent. I spent maybe ten breems talking to him, and I _know_ he's dangerous."

"So what should I have done? Left him in Kaon?"

"Soundwave…" she stared at me, shocked and hurt. _I wasn't accusing you of anything. What are you talking about? Why are you so upset all of a sudden?_

I looked down.

"What do you mean leave him in Kaon? Was that ever in question?"

I didn't answer.

She figured it out. "You… told them all they could trust him. Because he's…"

"Breeze…"

"Were you lying?" she sounded breathless. Her worry terrified me.

"Do you even need to a-ask that?" I said. "O-o-of co-ourse not!"

My symbionts were all staring at us, confused and concerned. Laserbeak and Ravage had figured out we were talking about Megatronus, but they weren't sure why we were arguing.

"Oh, Soundwave…" She shook her helm rapidly. "It's not him. He moves right and has the same speech patterns, but he… he didn't even seem a little bit upset that Perceptor got hurt, and I'm good at telling things like that."

"Do-on't say tha-a-at."

" _Was_ he upset?" Breeze demanded. " _You_ would know."

"I-I couldn't le-e-eave him the-ere!" I put my screen in my hands, shaking. "And _y-yes_ he was upset. He-e doesn't sho-o-ow it much."

He wasn't _very_ upset. But he wasn't some kind of sparkless monster. He was just broken, worn down, and changed. He was still Searchlight. Nothing could stop him from being Searchlight.

"I know," Breeze came closer. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like you should have left him in Kaon."

"Without him, we-e would never have go-otten this far."

"I know," Breeze said. "I didn't say you ought to get rid of him either. I'm just worried about him. I don't know how to help him." _How are you doing? Are you all right? You've always been so quiet it's hard to tell if you're okay._

I took a deep vent and let it out. Breeze backed away. "And I can't trick you into talking to me like I can do for Ratchet. So you have to do it on purpose."

"I'm okay," I said. "I've been better."

She waited for more.

"I'm sca-ared,"

 _I can hear that in your voice._ "What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared because the-e Council wa-ants us dead. I do-on't want to lose any-yone else. Especially… " Especially Searchlight. "Not… not again."

Breeze understood, but she was pretty sure I had never gotten him back.

"It's still him," I whispered.

"Well..." Breeze said. "I know that's true for you, but I can't think like that. Please understand that I can't think like that. He doesn't want to talk to me, and he doesn't care about me. You can't ask me to play this game you're playing… to chase after something that's not there anymore."

"I know. I'm so-orry."

"Me too," Breeze said. "But I'm always your friend, no matter what. Don't forget that. Comm. me if you ever need me again, all right.? I'm always happy for an excuse to come see you."

I nodded.

"Goodbye," she hugged me from behind and then left.

"What was that about?" Ravage demanded.

I didn't want to say that I couldn't tell them. So I just didn't say anything and got back to work.

* * *

About a joor later, Cablereach commed me to let me know that he was at the place I'd arranged for him to meet us.

This time we were sending the femmes to go get him and bring him to base. I commed them to let them know it was time, and they excused themselves from the conversation they were having with Ironhide and Orion. I listened until they left my range, then went out and joined everyone in the larger room. I had hoped to have Cablereach and Breeze here at the same time, but it hadn’t worked out.

Perceptor was sitting at the main table now. He was tired, but glad to be where everyone else was, listening to them talk. It was really unpleasant, I realized, not to have your optics. I never had to worry about it, because if something was wrong with my screen, I could still see from everyone else's perspective.

The femmes came back a little while later, with Cablereach, and I went to meet them in the hallway outside.

"Soundwave," Cablereach smiled at me. _It's good to see you. It's been a while, hasn't it?_

I nodded, then walked with them back into the conference room. Cablereach saw Perceptor right away and stopped, spark sinking. _Oh, Primus, no…Percy…_

He walked quickly over to the table where Perceptor was sitting next to Orion. Perceptor wondered why the room had gotten so quiet.

"Welcome," Orion said. "Please, sit down," Orion said.

"Thank you," Cablereach said. "Percy…"

Perceptor smiled slightly. "Cablereach."

"Oh, don't talk, that looks painful." Cablereach sat down next to Perceptor. "I'm so sorry…" _How could this happen?_ He was angry now. "I can't believe this. That can't, that _can't_ be legal."

"Don't worry," Orion said. "We were just talking about that. We're going to bring some evidence before the Council about it. We have a conversation between one of us and an enforcer with some incriminating things in it."

"Of course," Perceptor said quietly. "They could just try to say that as a traitor to the Council, I had no rights."

"That's slag," Ironhide said. "And everyone knows it."

"I remember that conversation," Perceptor said, thinking about it. "At least, I heard part of it."

I looked down.

Cablereach shook his helm. "I can't believe someone would hurt you like that, would hurt _anyone_ like that. What's been going _on_ here? I've heard a little about your rebellion, but…"

"A lot of things like this happen," Orion said. "Too many."

Cablereach nodded.

"I'm not dying or anything," Perceptor said. "You don't need to sound so worried."

Cablereach sighed. "I know. I'm sorry I'm not reacting well to this. I just…" _want to find whoever did this and make them wish they were never sparked…_

"It's good to have you here," Orion said. "Soundwave and Ratchet sometimes talk about you. And I believe I met you… it was a long time ago, and not a pleasant occasion, but…"

"Yes," Cablereach said. "When Searchlight…" he sighed. "I remember. You were Alpha Trion's assistant."

Orion nodded.

"I saw him earlier this orn," Cablereach said. "He said he wished he could come with me, but knew he was being watched and didn't want to lead the Council to you."

Orion nodded. _It's been too long since I've seen him. He always knew how to put things in perspective and help me see clearly…_

"And…" Cablereach looked around the room. _Yes, they do have the gladiator here. Primus, Soundwave, what have you gotten yourself into? If Searchlight were still here, I'm sure he'd be part of this, but you and Ratchet? Where is Ratchet anyway._ "Where is Ratchet."

"In his office," Orion said. "I can go let him know you're here, but… we haven't had much success talking to him since last orn."

"Oh," Cablereach said. "Is he all right?"

"Just busy," Perceptor said. "My optics were damaged, and he's attempting to repair them."

Cablereach looked down. "This is unforgivable."

"No," Perceptor said.

"Yes. It is." Cablereach said, shuttering his own optics. I wished again that Breeze were still here. She would know what to say.

Perceptor sighed.

"Percy?"

"I'm all right."

"No you aren't," Cablereach said. "You're too good for this. How did you end up involved with this… rebellion nonsense."

"It's my fault," Orion said, looking down.

"It is absolutely not," Perceptor said. "I knew what I was getting into when I offered to let you run it out of my house." _Well… sort of._

Silence fell.

"I'm tired," Perceptor said. "Soundwave, would you and Cablereach take me back to my room?"

"Yes," I said, recognizing that he wouldn't see me nod. Cablereach helped him stand up, and I led the way to his room, then left the two of them there to talk. Then I got a cube of energon and went into Ratchet's office without knocking.

He looked up from his desk, frustrated to the point of throwing things, but when he saw it was me, he refrained himself, calming down. I didn't say anything at all, just set the cube of energon on his desk and left again. When he felt like he needed a break, it would be there for him.

When I went back to the conference room, they were talking about what to do with the conversation Elita had recorded.

"I'm still a little worried about it," Ironhide said. "I do think we should take it to the Council, but I don't think we should make it public."

"But then there's no point," Megatronus said, "Because the Council _did_ this. They won't care a bit."

"Some of them will," Ironhide said. "They aren't _all_ bad. Just Halogen and most of the other higher-ups. Just the mecha in charge. They keep the good ones in the dark, and the rest of them in fear."

"They are upholding a tyrannical regime," Megatronus said. "If they really felt bad about it, they'd do something. They're all corrupt. They get _rid_ of the good ones, in case you don't remember what happened to Senator Shockwave."

Ironhide narrowed his optics.

"Megatronus is right," Jazz said. "Even if some of 'em are neutral, showing this just ta the Council isn't gonna get us anywhere. What are we gonna say, that we want this mech's helm on a stake? What we really want is for everymech ta know what the government is capable of. The Council already knows what they're capable of, but the mecha out in the city don't. We want ta take this before the Council publicly. Maybe even skip the Council and put it up on the Autobot files."

"Along with everything else," I put in.

Megatronus looked at me, and nodded. "Yes. Orion?"

Orion looked down.

There were a lot of things we'd uncovered that we hadn't yet put up. A lot of things in the same category as the Institute. Things bad enough to start riots. Things that would threaten the security of the government and the very pillars of society.

Autobot, had found _so_ much rust and toxic waste about the government that exposing it could be dangerous, especially if the wrong mecha got their hands on the information. Orion had made decisions about what to put up and what to keep quiet about. He didn't want to go back on those decisions.

"They have a right to know," Megatronus said. "They have a _right_ and at this point, they'll believe us."

"Every government does harsh things," Elita said quietly. "Sure, this one could be better, but…"

"I don't want to tear it down," Orion said. "I never wanted to tear it down. I just want reform. If we tear down the Council, we'll have nothing to replace it with and everything will devolve into chaos. This is why rebellions don't work, and why, despite what the Council says, despite what we've started to believe, Autobot is _not_ a rebellion."

"Then use this as a warning." Jazz said. "Put those files up and then tell the Council ya wanna meet with them to talk about reform. Put it all up, but remind everyone what really needs ta be done. We need something… something for everyone ta get behind. Cuz 'Hide's right, and you're right. I've seen those files, and they're enough ta make everyone real angry. But if they had somewhere ta put the energy… some cause ta get behind… Something big ta change…"

No one spoke for a breem, all trying to think of what we could ask the mecha of the city to fight for. It needed to be something significant, something lasting, something that would lead to everything else being fixed.

"You could…" Elita said. "You could ask for a seat on the Council…"

"No," Megatronus said. "Shockwave had a seat on the Council and a whole lot of good _that_ did everyone."

"Authority," Orion said quietly. "We could ask Halogen to step down. And the most corrupt senators."

We all thought about that.

"That's a definite possibility," Ironhide said. "But there's no one to take their place. Alpha Trion maybe, but he's not a 'head of the Council' sort of mech. The ones they get rid of are the ones who might challenge them for their positions. I don't think they'll step down so easily anyway."

"Hmm…" Orion said. "I'll defer to you on that one, since you know the Council."

Megatronus sighed. "Well, I'm not a politician," he said. "Trust me, they're not going to let a gladiator on the Council and if they did, I wouldn't know what to do."

"You aren't a politician," Orion agreed, then looked up sharply. "Megatronus…"

"Yes? What?"

"You remember back when you first came, when we talked so much about history, and wars and… that sort of thing?"

"Yes," Megatronus said. "That was interesting. Why are you bringing it up?"

"You know what we don't have right now, on Cybertron. What we haven't had for… twenty vorns at least."

"What?"

"A Prime," Orion said.

"Primes are leaders of the mecha," Elita said. "But they have political power too. Not to mention the Matrix of Leadership," she said the last bit in a hushed, reverent tone.

Jazz grinned. "Perfect," he said.

"Do you think that would be all right?" Orion asked. "If we tried to get the Council to make you a Prime, Megatronus?"

Megatronus looked down. "I… that would be…"

Everyone fell silent, waiting for him to make up his mind.

"Yes," Megatronus said. "I would be willing to do that."

"As a Prime, you'd have a lot of responsibility," Orion said. "Alpha Trion had me research and write a detailed paper on it when I was first hired as his assistant, so I can explain it all to you."

"All right," Megatronus said. "Thank you."

"This is good," Jazz said.

Ironhide wasn't so sure. But he didn't say anything. He was old enough to remember the most recent Prime. It had been a femme, and he'd met her. There had been something bright about her that he had always associated with Primes, something memorably pure and honorable. He couldn't see Megatronus ever becoming anything like that. "You know, you have to be worthy or the Matrix won't accept you."

"That won't be a problem," Orion said.

Megatronus looked down. _All that worthiness slag is just make-believe. Primus, if he exists, doesn't care enough to set up some sort of elaborate system for a mech to become a Prime. I do remember Orion talking about that a little. It seemed ridiculous to me. It's just a title. But it's something, and it would give me power. Maybe even enough power to return to Kaon and liberate it._

I looked down. I needed to be working. They'd figured something out. Now I needed to make sure we were prepared to make this move. It wasn't my place to question what they said or thought.

And I liked the idea of Searchlight being a Prime.

Maybe it would help him. Maybe it would make him better, or even bring his memories back.

I tried to convince myself that nothing about this decision made me feel uncomfortable. So what if Megatronus wanted to liberate Kaon? Of course he did. Those were his mecha, in the mines, dying. He wanted to help them, save them.

That was reasonable, right?

"I'll find the files we weren't sharing on the public database," I said. "Orion, y-you can review them and decide if the-ere are any we shouldn't put up."

I didn't wait for him to answer before I left. I went to my office and buried myself in my work, trying not to think about anything else, especially the conversation I'd had with Breeze earlier in the orn.


	82. The High Ground

We were ready to put everything we had on the public databases two orns later, but hadn't done it yet because the government was paying very close attention. They wanted to find us, and if we started broadcasting anything from this poorly-shielded location, we would certainly be noticed.

As such, morale was suffering and tensions were running high. Ratchet had rarely come out of his office, but was starting to lose hope about Perceptor's optics. Prowl had managed to make an enemy of just about everyone, Megatronus was feeling cooped up and frustrated, and Jazz had gotten bored and left the building several times, despite Orion cautioning everyone to stay inside.

If no one could come up with a solution, we'd decided to put everything up on the public databases in two more orns, and then hope the Council didn't track it.

Fortunately, though, the answer to our logistical problems showed up uninvited and unexpectedly.

It was late in the orn, but the sun dome hadn't shut off yet. The maintenance elevator came up with a mech in it. This had happened a couple of times, but always before, the mech in the elevator had just been on the maintenance crew, going past our level. But as soon as the mech came into my range, I knew he was definitely not employed here. In fact, I recognized him almost instantly. I was worried for an astrosecond, but he didn't wish us any sort of harm.

He stepped off the elevator and followed the sound of voices to the conference room. I waited for Red Alert to see him on the cameras and freak out as he walked casually through our base.

But Red Alert didn't even notice. I had just started to wonder why when the intruder turned off his invisibility mod and stepped into the room.

Jazz noticed him immediately and jumped up out of the chair he was sitting in. Everyone else followed his gaze.

"Who are you?" Ironhide demanded.

Red Alert set off the intruder alarm and came rushing out of his office.

The blue and white noblemech winced at the sound of the alarm. _Well, I can't answer him with all of this_ noise _drowning me out._

Red Alert came into the doorway behind Mirage. "Don't move!" he shouted.

The noblemech disappeared and stepped quickly to the side, and out of any potential danger. Red Alert gasped and everyone in the room froze. I got up from my desk.

"What?" Ravage asked.

"I have to talk to mecha."

Ravage stretched and yawned. _Poor you. I'm staying here._

Thanks, Ravage.

In the other room, everyone was confused or panicking…well, Red Alert was panicking. Jazz was trying to figure out where Mirage had gone, and everyone else was still trying to process the fact that he had _disappeared_ right in front of them.

"Everyone stay calm," Orion said.

"Stay calm?" Red Alert demanded. "That mech disappeared!"

"It was probably just a hologram," Elita said.

I stepped into the doorway to block the mech from leaving, and waited for everyone to notice me.

"I know!" Red Alert said. "That means there's someone in here! It was obviously a distraction. In moments we'll be overrun by…"

"Calm down!" Jazz said. "Honestly, Red Alert. And no, that wasn't a hologram."

"What?" Ironhide said.

"Would everymech just calm down?" Jazz said. "Like Orion said. Just calm down."

Chromia crossed her arms. _Who put him in charge?_

"Jazz?" Megatronus said. "How do you know that wasn't a hologram?"

"Mirage, was it?" Jazz said. "No one's gonna attack ya or anything, ya can show yourself."

Mirage appeared off to the side of the room. Everyone stared at him and he smiled slightly, pleased with himself. "I ought to have sent a message ahead, I know," he said. "But sometimes I like to do my own dirty work, just because it makes life more interesting. So, if I were to request to speak to the leader of this organization…" he looked between Orion and Megatronus, unsure who was in charge.

No one was really sure.

"I could speak to you," Megatronus said. "But you might have more luck talking to Orion. He's more in touch with the political side of things."

"Very well, then," Mirage said. "Would you like to speak in private?"

"Would you?" Orion asked. "We can."

"It isn't necessary," Mirage said. "I am merely making you an offer."

"An offer?" _He's a tower mech, isn't he? What's going on?_

"Yes," Mirage smiled because he knew he was about to surprise everyone again. "In the light of your recent evacuation from your base of operations, I thought you might need somewhere else to stay. This…" he gestured around, "Is not an ideal location. I'm willing to provide you with something better."

"And what would we give you in return?" Orion asked cautiously.

Mirage was confused for a moment. "Oh, a cost? No, it would be a gift. Please, don't assume you have anything I want. In return for supporting Autobot, I get to make a stir and stand out among my peers. I also get to be on the side with the moral high ground, as it were. It isn't as if I don't have the credit or the space to help you. You would have some measure of protection from the government too. They wouldn't _dare_ search my tower."

It didn't even occur to him that we might refuse his offer, but Orion was wary of trusting him, and Megatronus had already decided that we couldn't. Mirage had the self-confidence of the pampered rich and Megatronus _hated_ that. He would rather kill this mech than accept a favor from him.

I, on the other hand, knew he was being honest.

"Ya know, we do need a better base," Jazz said quietly. _And I don't know what this mech will do if we refuse. We certainly don't wanna offend him._

"What exactly are you offering us?" Orion asked.

"A new base of operations," Mirage said. "Safety, any equipment you need. I can have my servants fetch things and send messages. They're all very dependable. And if there's anything you specifically want, you can always ask."

Orion looked down, thinking of Perceptor. "What about… medical attention? One of my mecha…"

"Naturally," Mirage said. "Anything you need."

"Optic replacement?" Orion asked quietly.

Mirage nodded. "We of Iacon's high towers have _excellent_ medics at our disposal."

"Can we… think about it?" _And talk to Soundwave about it. He'll know if we can trust this mech._

"I'm not sure what there is to think about," Mirage said, somewhat offended. "I'm offering to help you." _These mecha are mostly below servant class. Why are they acting like they want to play politics with me?_

I stepped forward. "We're used to working with the Council," I said. "They don't keep their word."

"I am not the Council," Mirage was even more offended. "But if you don't want to believe that, then you can refuse my offer and I won't make it again."

"Wait," Orion said. "We're not saying we won't accept your help. We're just surprised that someone of your station would offer it."

"We can't trust anyone rich, Orion," Megatronus said. "They're only parasites, anyway."

Mirage raised an optic ridge. "Well, then, I'll take my leave."

"Wait," Orion said. "Megatronus, we can't stay here. And we could get help for Perceptor." He looked back at Mirage. "If you're really honestly offering this… I don't know how to thank you."

"By trusting me," Mirage said. and unsubspaced a datapad. "This has instructions for you to meet my associates in a joor, in a nearby location. Bring all of the mecha here. You can leave your things. They will be discreetly relocated to your new lodgings. I will meet you there. Good orn." He disappeared, and I obligingly stepped to the side so he could go through the door. I was careful not to make it look like I was watching him, though I knew exactly where he was. Everyone was quiet for a little while, waiting for me to confirm that Mirage was gone. I tracked his progress until he got on the elevator.

Then I nodded.

"What was _that_?" Moonracer demanded.

"We'll want to get Ratchet and Perceptor to be part of this discussion," Orion said. "But I think we're going to take him up on his offer."

"No," Megatronus said. "We are not. Who _was_ he?"

"A high tower noble," Jazz said. "They don't take no for an answer, mech. We'd better be careful, am I right, Soundwave?"

I nodded.

"What?" Ironhide said.

"If we don't take him up on his offer, he could get real offended," Jazz said, "And then we'd be in trouble, because he knows where our base is. Turning us in probably wouldn't even make him feel bad. I say let's not risk that, and let's not let this opportunity pass. This might just be the lucky break we need. If he changes his mind after a few orns and kicks us out, then that's fine—we don't need that much longer anyway. After we post all those files we've got, the Council will have ta give in and meet with us, or risk a riot."

Megatronus frowned.

"Don't think of it as trusting him or even accepting a gift," Jazz said. "Think of it as… allowing his foolishness ta help us."

Orion frowned. "But…"

"But if he's only going to kick us out eventually…" Ironhide said.

"Didn't we say we were going to discuss this with Ratchet and Perceptor present?" Elita asked. "Can we go get them before we decide?"

Orion nodded.

"Yes," Megatronus said. "Soundwave, would you get Ratchet? Elita, you can bring Perceptor here."

I nodded and held the door for Elita.

"Thank you," she said, and headed for Perceptor's room, where he was resting. I went to Ratchet's office and entered without knocking.

Ratchet had his helm down on the table. "Soundwave," he said. "That's you, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"I can't do this. I'm useless…"

"Ratchet…"

"Really," Ratchet said. "The optics work now, but not nearly as well as they did before, and I just don't have the _tools_ and even if I did, they're…"

"Come."

"No, I'm not leaving this room until I've…"

"We may have a new base."

"…what?" Ratchet looked up, then turned to face me. "A new base?"

"Come," I said again, and walked out of the room. Ratchet followed, curious and not quite sure he believed me. We had just come here, why did we need a different base?

We got to the conference room before Perceptor and Elita, but they came just a few astroseconds later. Orion explained the situation, and then asked for their opinions.

"Don't make this decision to benefit me," Perceptor said. "If you don't believe the noblemech, then maybe you should do your very best to politely turn him down."

"Thing is," Jazz said. "He knows where our base is. We don't want him for an enemy."

"And if we can get help for Perceptor, we should take it," Ratchet said. "Primus knows I'm not good enough to repair him."

Orion nodded. "Megatronus?"

"As I have said many times," Megatronus said. "I don't think this is a good idea. But this isn't my city. I don't always know how things are run here. I just don't think aligning ourselves with some rich noblemech is going to help our public image."

"Fair points," Orion said. "Anyone else? Ironhide?"

Ironhide shrugged. "Where you go, I do. I don't have an opinion in this case."

He would probably have argued against taking up Mirage on his offer, but he didn't want to agree with Megatronus.

"Soundwave?"

I shrugged. "He wasn't lying, but I don't trust hi-im."

"Prowl?" Orion said.

Everyone was surprised he'd asked the former enforcer's opinion, even Prowl himself.

"Well," he said, composed on the outside, as ever, "It seems, from what has been discussed, that we cannot afford _not_ to take this mech up on his offer, however much we don't like the idea."

And that kind of put an end to it.

* * *

A joor and a half later, we were packed into a large freight elevator, heading up to some untold height. The building we were traveling through was almost completely empty. There was one floor at the bottom, and several up at the very top, but in between was mostly just scaffolding and sturdy metal.

These towers were ancient: the highest buildings on Cybertron—if you didn't count the ones in Vos, but that was cheating because their whole city floated twenty klicks above the ground. The Iacon High Towers dated back to long before the Quintesson wars. No one knew who had made them, or how they'd managed to make them so tall and still sturdy enough to last millennia.

The elevator finally came to a stop and the doors opened.

"Welcome to the tower," the small, dun-painted mech who'd led us here said. We all stepped off into darkness. The servant lit the hallway with a voice command and led us down it, and into a circular room with doors in all directions. The door we came through—the one that led to the elevator—closed. It was more like a moving section of wall than a door, and you wouldn't have noticed it if you didn't already know it was there. It didn't seem like a secret door, though. More like a door that you were supposed to ignore because it wasn't important. The room was well-decorated with wall-hangings and decorative benches.

Standing in the very center of the room was Mirage, invisible. He appeared as soon as we had all come in, startling the majority of the group.

"Good orn, friends," he said. "I'm glad you decided to come."

Orion stepped forward. "Thank you for offering to host us," he said. "I do hope it doesn't offend you if we look for another headquarters while we're here. We wouldn't want to overstay our welcome."

Mirage nodded slightly. "Of course. But you are welcome here as long as you wish to stay. This room will, I hope, be acceptable as a central location. All of the doors along the walls lead to places I'm designating for your use. The doors north and south have smaller meeting rooms, and lovely views of the city on the north side. The northeast and southwest, as well as the east and west doors lead to hallways of offices and personal rooms. There's energon in the rooms to the north and south. The southeast door leads to a staircase that will take you up to the floor where I generally spend my time. If you absolutely need me, you can find me that way, but I would rather you stay here. The northwest door leads to the front room on this floor. If you need anything, you can go there and ask my servants. Your equipment and computers and that sort of thing will be brought here by next on-cycle, and you can… uh… I suppose you can move it around yourselves how you like, or you can ask the servants to do it. I don't know what you prefer."

"Thank you," Orion said.

"Yes," Mirage smiled. "And as for the injured mech, you can send him with this mech here, who will take you to meet with my personal medic."

Perceptor hesitated.

"I'll go with him," Ratchet grumbled. _Make sure this medic isn't some sort of charlatan._ Perceptor put a hand on Ratchet's shoulder so he would know which direction to walk in, and they followed the dun-colored servant.

"Are there any questions?" Mirage asked.

Everyone stared at him. No one had thought of any questions yet.

"Very well, then. Good luck settling in. I have somewhere I need to be." _Sometime in the next joor or so. I can be as late as I want to the party, and it's only a few towers away._ He walked away, out the southeast door.

"Well…" Elita said after a few astroseconds of quiet. "I suppose we had better see what we've got." She led the way through the north door, which led out into a very nicely furnished, large room. One side of the room was entirely glass, and there was a door that led out onto a wide balcony that looked out over the city.

Elita didn't stay to walk with the rest of us toward the balcony, but went back through the door to explore the rest of our allotted space. I expanded my range so I could hear her count rooms and try to work out where to put everyone so we'd all be relatively happy. She was doing a good job as far as I could tell.

The dim Iacon sky stretched out in front of us and I could bearly make out individual buildings and streets below. To the left, I could actually see the sun, making its way across the horizon. I could understand why mecha would love living here. It was beautiful.

After several breems, Elita came back. "I've picked out room arrangements," she said. "There are twelve of us, but only twelve rooms if you count the two meeting rooms. We need a place to put all of the computers and things too, but it should work out. Some of us can share." She glanced at Orion, "And if we use the large south room for a medbay, Ratchet can stay in there. I'm sure he won't mind that too much. It's not as spacious as Perceptor's house, but it's better than that office building thing. Here, I'll show you all where you're going to stay."

 _She'd better not have put me next to the gladiator,_ Red Alert thought. _I still think he wants to kill me._

She'd taken that into account. Overall, I was pretty sure everyone would be happy with their rooms. She'd put me next to Prowl, and across from Red Alert. I would have to keep my range really small if I wanted to get any recharge, but there was no one else she dared put next to Prowl except for maybe Jazz. But then she would have needed to put me across the hall from Ironhide and Chromia, and I was quite glad that she had thought to avoid that.

Elita showed everyone their rooms, and I wasn't surprised when they seemed happy with the arrangements. Prowl did wonder whether Elita had given him the smallest room on purpose—she had—but he didn't mind, really.

My symbionts talked and played tag and would rather explore everywhere again than settle down for recharge. They were fascinated by the interesting, valuable-looking and—oh, Primus, no—breakable things in this new place.

We were going to end up owing Mirage a lot of credit.

Eventually, I convinced them to all settle down. I expanded my range once, to find where Ratchet and Perceptor were and make sure they were all right, then pulled it in and shut myself down.

* * *

The next orn, I came out of recharge when Ravage heard talking out in the hall and decided to investigate. I sat up before he got to the door and called him back, expanding my range so I could see who and where it was.

Ravage turned to look at me. _Please? It sounds like Ratchet. I haven't jumped on Ratchet for orns and orns._

I got up with a sigh and opened the door. Ravage stayed with me, keeping pace until we'd gone down the hall and out into the big circular room in the middle. Orion and Elita were online and talking to Ratchet and Perceptor, who had just shown up.

Then Ravage streaked across the room and bowled Ratchet over. Ratchet went down with a comical squawk and everyone else could only stare as he started spitting curses at the cat now happily clinging to his back. Ratchet struggled to his pedes and Ravage climbed up to his shoulders where he refused to be dislodged, further irritating Ratchet by wrapping his tail around the mech's faceplate.

Elita tried to hide a smile as Ratchet struggled with the symbiont. Then she turned to look at Perceptor again. "I'm sure you're tired. Would you like me to show you where your room is?"

"I think I'm all right," Perceptor said with a smile. He did look—and feel—a lot better. Mirage's medic had been able to speed the healing process on Perceptor's faceplate as well as replace his optics, and the professor looked almost normal.

"Are you sure?" Orion asked.

"Oh, Orion," he smiled again. "I do appreciate your concern, but I did know what I was getting into when I let you use my house as a base. I didn't expect… what happened, but it's all right, and I am recovering well." _In some ways I'm comforted it wasn't one of them. It could have been Orion, or one of the femmes, or poor Soundwave, who I'm sure has gone through worse things already._

Orion sighed. "It ought to have been me. But… I'm glad you're doing better now."

"Soundwave, get this thing off of me!" Ratchet snarled.

I didn't answer. Ravage wasn't hurting him and deep down I knew he didn't mind it _that_ much.

"And good orn, Soundwave," Perceptor turned to look at me.

I nodded.

"Soundwave," Orion looked my direction as well. "We should make our move this orn, but we should have a meeting first… Perceptor, did we tell you our most recent plan?"

"Yes," Perceptor said. "And I must say I'm worried about it."

Orion sighed. "I know you've always been wary of Megatronus, and yes, he can be kind of harsh sometimes, but Soundwave has attested to his trustworthiness."

"I know. And I won't try to stop you or talk you out of it," Perceptor said. "Except to say once, that in my opinion you're trying to make the wrong mech a Prime."

Orion frowned. "What does that mean? It has to be Megatronus. He's our liaison with the common mecha. They know him, trust him… he inspires them."

Perceptor shook his helm. "I said it and I'm not going to argue with you about it."

"Who would you have instead?"

"If I told you, you would continue to argue with me, and it wouldn't make a difference." He sighed. "Maybe I am tired. Elita, would you show me to the room you've chosen for me?"

"Of course," Elita said.

"Don't bother inviting me to the meeting," Perceptor said to Orion. "I trust your judgment and have said my part."

Elita led Perceptor through the east door, wondering what Perceptor had meant.

"Who was he talking about?" Orion asked me.

Perceptor thought that Orion ought to be the Prime. But I knew he wouldn't take it very well if I told him so I just shrugged.

"In any case, we need to get to work," Orion said. "When everyone's online, have them all come to the north room to talk."

What we'd been talking about for the last breem dawned on Ratchet. "What?" he said suddenly. "Did you say you were going to try and make the gladiator a Prime?"

Ravage wrapped his tail around Ratchet's faceplate again, and Ratchet tried to brush it off.

"Yes," Orion said. "I don't understand why that's such a surprise."

Ratchet scowled and muttered under his breath about crazy gladiators.

If I told them all that Megatronus wasn't trustworthy, how quickly would they agree with me? I didn't want to think about it.

They’d probably also agree with me if I told them Ironhide wasn't trustworthy. Or even Orion. I had a lot of power here. These were dangerous thoughts, but there was no reason to worry. Searchlight was trustworthy and I'd never say otherwise. I had made _sure_ that everyone in this group was trustworthy before letting them join. Except for Prowl, of course, but he seemed all right.

When Ratchet stopped trying to pry Ravage off of him, Ravage got bored and hopped down. Then with a spectacular leap he hopped up onto my shoulders instead and settled there.

Then I heard the twins come online and needed to go stop them from knocking over a statue. I hadn't bothered to relocate all of the fancy, breakable things in my room yet, but I could do that now, while Orion gathered everyone else.

* * *

Mirage joined us for the meeting. He didn't intend to say anything, but he wanted to listen. We all felt a little uncertain about this new plan, probably because it was something we _hadn't_ been planning on up until a few orns ago.

It was Megatronus who opened the meeting, not Orion.

"Mechs," he said. "It's time to make a decision."

Chromia quirked an optic ridge. A tiny voice in the back of my processor that was my own memory and not anyone else's tacked on a conciliatory _and femmes_ in Searchlight's voice.

"There is dangerous information in the files that we are considering making public." He met Orion's optics, then Red Alert's, then looked at my screen. "We've had some time to think about the idea, though, so now's the time to speak up against it," he looked pointedly at Ironhide, who stared back evenly.

_Soundwave, you'll have to tell me if he tries to sabotage this. He still doesn't know about you, right?_

He didn't. We'd told Chromia that she could tell him, but she had said she wanted to think about it first. She didn't think Ironhide would take it very well. I agreed with her, and was grateful that she was waiting for a good time to break it to him.

 _I don't trust him,_ Megatronus continued. _I hope you're paying attention to him._

"All right then," Megatronus said. "The plan, as we have it now, is to put all of that up along with a request for the Council to meet with us. If they even try to have us offlined during the meeting, then they will have to deal with a very angry populace."

"And we don't want that," Prowl put in. "do we?" _Rioting and revolution will not solve anyone's problems._

"No," Orion said quickly. "Of course not. Which is why this is so risky. Which is why I'm sure we're all feeling uneasy about it. Our meeting with the Council will need to go well. If it doesn't, there could be wide scale chaos and violence."

"However," Jazz said "If things go the way we want them to, Megatronus ends up in a position to pacify the public and talk the Council into making some necessary changes in the future."

"Also in a position to call for the complete overthrow of the government," Ironhide said.

Everyone looked at him, but Megatronus spoke first. "Are you suggesting that I would turn around and destroy the work that we've been doing so carefully for the past half a vorn?" _Orion's way is good enough for Iacon. But in Kaon more immediate action will be necessary. I may have to be discreet about my involvement, because I doubt we can avoid violence there..._

"What if I am?" Ironhide said. "You want this for the wrong reason. Everything you do is about you, about increasing your own power. I can see it in your optics." He stood up. "But I can't change your minds. Take it to the Council, but if you make this mech a Prime, you'll regret it."

"Ironhide," Orion said, standing as well. "Megatronus has proven himself to be trustworthy. I thought you'd gotten over your prejudices. Just because he's a gladiator doesn't mean that he can't be honorable."

Megatronus let the barest hint of a smirk grace his lip plates. _I have Orion,_ he thought, _And you can't stop me. Get out. Go on, leave._

Ironhide saw the look. He took in a deep vent. "Orion, when this mech betrays you, I'm one comm. away. Chromia, you coming?"

Chromia crossed her arms. "Where are you going?" she asked. "They're looking for all of us, 'Hide."

"Right," Ironhide said. "Fine. Stay here where it's safe."

Chromia's optic ridges shot up and Ironhide turned around and walked from the room.

Mirage tilted his helm to the side, trying to decide whether he thought Megatronus was planning on toppling everything or not.

 _As if I would betray Orion,_ Megatronus thought. "Look," he said. "I do see his point of view. And it's hard for anyone to trust anyone. But I promise all of you that I _will_ do my very best to keep this from devolving into a war. You'll have to trust me on that…" _Orion is my friend. And he's stubborn, but I can talk him around. If the Council won't bend, we'll_ have _to break them. They'll see then that there was no other option._

"All right," Orion said. "Soundwave is ready to put up those files. I just want to make sure we all agree that this is the best course of action."

Silence hung in the atmosphere heavy and full of words that only I could hear. Worries, fears, and questions. Mirage surprised us by speaking.

"From what I understand, the contents of these files would seriously incriminate and endanger the Council."

"Yes," Orion said.

"And putting them up could incite rioting, mass mayhem and possibly irresolvable chaos?"

Orion nodded again.

"This is more serious than I thought," he said. "Every governing body has its secrets, you realize?"

Megatronus glared at him. "They shouldn't."

"Oh, they should," Mirage said. "Of course they should. Even the best governments had secrets. You don't think there were secrets in the first age of the Primes?"

"I'm sorry we're endangering your life of ease," Megatronus said. "I suppose you'd rather avoid the possibility of a collapse that would leave you with no more credit than the common beggar."

"On the contrary," Mirage said. "If the system collapses, it's the beggars who will suffer and starve. Orion knows it, and so do I, and so should you. They try to keep us in the dark too. We have all the money we want so long as we loan it to the Council whenever they need it. We have power and influence, but are constrained by the rules of society and it's so easy for a tower mech to fall—the railings on that balcony are only so high." He gestured out the window. "I'm not saying I'll mourn if the Council collapses. I'm just saying that the mecha who you're trying to help are the ones who will die if everything devolves into chaos. And I'm _not_ saying I don't like your plan, I'm just reiterating the fact that you need to be careful if they make you a Prime, Megatron, because if you _aren't_ careful things will get nasty for _everyone._ "

He let that sink in for a few astroseconds.

"That _is_ why were all so afraid of it?" he said, raising an optic ridge.

Jazz nodded. So did Red Alert and Orion.

"I still think this whole thing is insanity," Ratchet said. "But if we all agree that we can trust Megatronus to do it… I guess it's not my decision."

"I see Ironhide's point of view," Chromia said. "Except that I don't feel the need to storm out of here because of it. I don't _know_ if we can trust you, Megatronus, and I wouldn't be surprised if you _wanted_ violence."

"I do not," Megatronus said. "And like I've been saying, I want to do this Orion's way if at all possible. I don't want complete collapse any more than the rest of you do."

He didn't want it. But he saw it as a likely possibility. He wanted to urge them to prepare for it, just in case, but he didn't want to say those words because he knew Chromia would jump on them. He knew we couldn't hesitate much longer about this.

"Look," he said. "This is our best plan. This is our best and possibly our last chance to move against the Council before they're ready, and I don't want to waste it. If you have some reservations about it, that's _fine!_ So do I. It's a big risk. It's a big leap. But if this works then we have exactly what we want! We have change _without_ a war! Victory without energon on the ground. It'll be a _fight_ from here on out, but we'll finally be fighting on _their level!_ With me as a Prime, we will have a key piece on the proverbial game board. This isn't the end of our troubles. It's just the turning point. But I can't do it without you. I need your support."

Silence.

"Well," Jazz said. "Ya know I'm in."

"Of course you have my support," Orion said, smiling at Megatronus.

Elita looked at Chromia, who nodded, then Moonracer, who did so as well. "We're in," Elita said. "For better or worse."

I nodded once, and Megatronus mentally thanked me.

"I'm not sure if I count," Mirage said. "But for what it's worth, I think you should go for it."

"It seems the most immediately effective course of action," Prowl said.

"What else are we going to do?" Red Alert said. "Honestly."

We all looked at Ratchet.

He narrowed his optics. "You know I don't like you, Megatron," he said. "But that doesn't mean you aren't trustworthy. I won't pretend to understand government or politics or any of that, but I trust Orion and Soundwave so I'm in."

Megatronus nodded. "Thank you," he said. "Soundwave?" He looked to me.

I nodded again, then got up and headed for the tech center. That had been my chance to tell them that Megatronus was more interested in 'liberating' Kaon than helping anyone in Iacon. He meant what he said, of course, but he had made a promise to the mecha of Kaon. He didn't want to wait much longer—those mecha in the mines were dying, and they'd continue to die if he didn't do something quickly.

I expanded my range so that I could hear the tension in the other room. Orion had already prepared an explanation to accompany the information I was about to make public. An explanation and a demand to meet with the Council in two orns.

Everything was ready. Just a couple of keystrokes away.

I couldn't tell them Megatronus wasn't being entirely honest. I'd never been able to tell on Searchlight, even when he decided to do something stupid or dangerous. If it had been me in that Council meeting instead of Ratchet, when Searchlight had stood and started arguing with Senator Ratbat, I might not have stopped him either. You got the feeling he could do anything, no matter how insane, because he just couldn't imagine himself failing.

And he hadn't been wrong yet. He was still online.

I turned on the computer. Even if it all went wrong, it would turn out right, because with my help, Searchlight could do anything. And if anyone deserved to be a Prime, he did. After all that had happened to him, he still had good in him. He could still inspire mecha to stand up for themselves and make the difficult decisions that needed to be made.

He would save us.

Searchlight would save us.


	83. The Beginning

The media had plenty to talk about over the next orn. Groups of mecha flooded the streets, protesting, and others hid in their homes. Tensions rose quickly as we waited for the Council to make a move.

We didn't have to wait long. They caved within thirty joors. Halogen got on the news and stated clearly and publicly that the Council would agree to meet with Orion and Megatronus, insisting that they were willing to come to an understanding of some sort with us.

We didn't have much time to prepare, but we were all glad we'd set a short deadline for the meeting, because the city was simmering with the tension of knowing exactly what the Council was capable of.

The next orn, Mirage had a transport ready to take our two representatives. This was arguably the part of our plan that presented the most personal danger to us. Whoever we sent could easily be arrested and killed. Several other mecha, including me, had offered to go with them, but Orion and Megatronus had insisted that they had to go alone.

Elita stopped Orion on his way out to embrace him tightly, sending a quiet plea over their bond.

_Stay. Please stay._

"I'll be okay," Orion said quietly.

"I feel like something will go wrong," Elita whispered.

"They wouldn't dare try anything," Megatronus said. "But Orion, you don't _have_ to come. Unless things go badly, I'm going to be doing all the talking anyway."

"I need to be there," Orion said with conviction. _I have to support Megatronus, and I feel it in my spark somehow. It's important for me to go._ "I know the Council better than you do."

 _They're just tyrants,_ Megatronus thought, _Bullies. I know them. I know all of them. The only way to deal with them is to be bigger than them, stronger than them. And we are, and they know it..._

"I'll be all right," Orion said again to Elita. "I promise."

"Okay," she released him and stepped back.

"You had better," Chromia said, optics narrowed. "I believe I've told you several times that if anything happens to Ellie because of you, you're going to wish you were never sparked."

"I know. And I'll be all right."

Then the two of them left, with the fate of the entire government on their shoulders.

* * *

We waited, watching the news, hoping, tense, expectant. This _had_ to work. If this didn't work, then we had made a serious mistake and thousands of mecha would pay for it.

The femmes chatted nervously as we sat, counting astroseconds, trying to pretend this wasn't happening. Red Alert fussed over checking everyone's rooms for dangerous things, and complained to Mirage about the "terrible security" in his tower. Ratchet sat on a bench and mumbled to himself for a while, then went to his makeshift medbay to check the basic tools Mirage had provided for him and make sure they were all functioning properly. Jazz tried to start a conversation with Prowl which was just enough of a challenge to distract him from the fact that the meeting with the Council was about to start.

We were watching the news on a large screen up on one wall, so we all saw it when Orion and Megatronus reached the Council Hall. They were escorted through cheering crowds, up the steps and inside. And then once again there was nothing to do but wait. We left the screen on, and kept our audios at least half-tuned into what the reporters were saying about the crowd and the event, but most of us were too nervous to really pay attention. It was a long time before anything else happened. The crowd in front of the building grew as more and more mecha seemed to decide they wanted to see it in person. This was a historic event, and thousands wanted to see Orion and Megatronus come down the front steps of the Council Hall and hear what they had to say.

But that wasn't the way things happened.

After a little less than a joor, Megatronus came out by himself. We all watched on the screen as he started walking down the steps. He didn't talk to anyone, and ignored enforcement who were helpfully trying to clear a way through the crowd. And, once it became obvious the reporters and other mecha weren't going to let him through, he transformed and flew away. The camera followed him, but he flew around the side of a tall government building and out of sight.

Something had happened.

There was speculating, shouting, arguing. The news anchors and reporters were having a lot of fun with the whole situation.

Something bad had happened.

"Where's Orion?" Ratchet voiced the obvious question.

Everyone looked to Elita, who was staring at the screen still.

"Ellie?" Moonracer asked. "Is he all right? Can you tell?"

"I think so…" Elita said. "He's confused… maybe worried. Something's gone wrong."

"Megatronus just _left_ him in there!" Chromia said.

"No," I said. He wouldn't. If nothing else, Megatronus wouldn't have left Orion to the mercy of the Council. Something else had happened.

"Then what was that?" Chromia demanded, jabbing a finger in the direction of the hologram.

Prowl narrowed his optics, thinking.

I tried comming Megatronus, but he didn't answer.

"Well, something obviously went wrong," Jazz said from his seat at the side of the room. "We gotta go figure out what happened, see if we can get Orion out of there..."

"I doubt the Council agreed to make Megatronus a Prime," Prowl said quietly.

"You think?" Chromia snapped.

"But what happened to Orion?" Perceptor said.

"Presumably he's still inside, trying to negotiate," Prowl said. "I've observed he has somewhat more of an even temper than our former gladiator."

"But Megatronus wouldn't just storm off and leave him there, would he?" Red Alert looked to me. "If that were the case?"

"Unless he was angry with Orion for some reason," Mirage mused.

"What do you know?" Moonracer glared at the noblemech. "Angry at Orion? How the pit could anyone be angry with Orion?"

"Oh, I could," Chromia said. "But I don't see a reason Megatronus would. Ellie, are you all right?"

Elita nodded. From what she could sense, he was all right. She tried to send Orion reassurance over the bond. He responded in kind for a moment and she was comforted.

And then he was gone.

Elita gasped, then screamed when the first wave of pain hit. Chromia lunged forward and caught her before she fell. She could sense a tiny echo of the pain through her sibling bond with Elita and knew what it meant.

Everyone stared for a moment, then panicked.

"What's wrong?"

"Is she all right?"

"What happened?"

"Out of the way!" Ratchet shoved through the tightening circle of concerned mecha to where Chromia was supporting the screaming pink femme.

"It's the bond," Chromia said quietly. "Broken."

 _Primus…_ Ratchet thought. _That could mean he's about to offline._ "I…" _No. No, no…_ "Get her to my office."

Chromia picked her sister up and the three femmes all followed him.

If a bonded mech or femme knew they were going to offline, they sometimes broke off the bond beforehand. It would hurt more that way, but it wouldn't put their partner's life at risk.

"What do we do now?" Red Alert demanded.

Jazz stood up. "I'll go…"

"No," Prowl said. "We have to wait. We don't have enough information about the situation yet. If we start saying something's happened to Orion it will cause…"

"Who put you in charge?" Red Alert demanded. "You're an enforcer. You _work_ for the government. This is your fault somehow, isn't it? You _wanted_ something to go wrong! You planned this somehow."

"Whoa, don't just start pointing fingers," Jazz said.

"And you! You're a criminal."

"Would everyone calm down?" Perceptor said, but no one was listening to him.

"Maybe it's _your_ fault," Jazz said. "You're so keen ta pin this on someone else."

Ironhide wasn't there to yell at everyone to shut up, and this was getting out of control.

I commed Chromia. _"Help?"_

She didn't answer, but grudgingly came back into the room where Red Alert and Jazz were still yelling at each other.

"Everyone _SHUT UP!_ " Chromia screamed. Relative quiet descended and they all looked at her. "My sister is in agony and all you're doing is making noise! If you're bored, you can figure out how to get that idiot of a librarian back here so that if he's not already offline, I can kill him!" With that, she turned and stormed back into Ratchet's office.

"Before this devolves into name-calling again," Perceptor said. "It might be prudent to determine who is in charge now that our two normal leaders are missing."

Everyone came to the same conclusion and looked at me.

"Soundwave," Jazz said.

"What do we do?" Red Alert demanded.

Great. Anything but this. I wished I could defer to someone else, but there wasn't anyone else who I really thought was in a good frame of mind to be in charge at the moment. What should we do? Oh, Primus, I was going to have to talk. "Prowl's right," I said. "We need to know more… Mirage? We would be gra-ateful if y-you'd go find out. I-I do-on't think anyone else could do it."

Mirage nodded. "I shall attempt to locate Megatronus and find out what happened to Orion." He disappeared and left the room.

I turned to the others. "We-e don't want panic. I'll send out a message telling everyone to sta-ay calm until we know what happened." I sincerely hoped our mecha in the city would listen and not jump to conclusions.

"What about the rest of us?" Jazz asked, unhappy that he hadn't been sent out to help Mirage.

"Stay here," I said. "Wait."

Oh, Primus. Orion could be dead. I tried to think if there was anything else we could do. Megatronus was wandering the city, potentially in danger, and Orion…

If he was offline, we were going to have a war on our hands. But why would Megatronus have left him in there _before_ he had offlined or whatever had happened? Why? It didn't make any sense.

I couldn't think about it right now. We'd find out eventually.

"Megatronus will come back." I assured them all. "He'll tell us what happened."

We could still hear Elita sobbing in the other room.

* * *

I left everyone to argue, and went to my room, which also served as my office. There, I tried to determine what had happened and asked through our network if anyone had seen Megatronus. I got several reports of sightings from various locations around the sector, but it didn't seem like he'd talked to anyone.

Mirage came back half a joor later. He didn't have Megatronus with him, but seemed to think he'd accomplished what I'd sent him to do. I looked up from my computer when he entered the main room.

"Orion!" Jazz said, noticing them first.

Them?

Yes, Orion was there with him, standing next to him. I checked my range—I knew it should be covering both of them.

It wasn't.

That wasn't Orion. It couldn't be.

I couldn't hear him.

"Orion, what happened?" Perceptor stood. "Why didn't you comm. us? We all thought you might be hurt or offline…"

"You did?" Orion asked. "Why? What happened?"

"Megatronus came out of the Council Hall alone," Perceptor said.

"Where is he?"

"We don't know," Jazz said. "What happened, mech?"

Chromia came storming out of Ratchet's office. "You!" she said. "How _dare_ you show up here, perfectly all right!"

"What?" Orion still looked confused. "I'm sorry if I worried…"

"What do you mean, what!" Chromia took a step forward and saw realization dawn in Orion's optics.

"Oh no…" he said, faceplate suddenly slack with dread. "Where is she?"

"You're not going near her!" Chromia growled.

Elita, in Ratchet's office, sat up shakily, listening, trying to determine if it was really Orion's voice.

"Hang on…" Jazz said. _Why is he so surprised?_

"I didn't realize…"

"You didn't realize _what?"_ Chromia demanded.

"I didn't realize the bond had broken," Orion said. "Is she all right?"

"You didn't… what do you _fragging think?"_ Chromia said.

In Ratchet's office, Elita took a deep vent, wincing. "Ratchet? That's him, isn't it? Is he all right? I need to see…"

Ratchet glanced at Moonracer, who nodded and came out into the main room. "Hey you.” She waved at Orion. “Get over here."

"Absolutely not," Chromia said.

"Ellie wants to see him," Moonracer said. "Let him."

Chromia clenched her fists, but made no more protest as Orion crossed the room and entered Ratchet's makeshift medbay with everyone else following, still waiting to hear what had happened. Normally, I would have known, but Orion's processor was as silent as that of a machine. Like Alpha Trion or Maccadam.

I got up.

Orion stopped just inside the door of the medbay, and he and Elita stared at each other. For a moment, Elita was relieved that Orion seemed to be unhurt. Then she looked away, shaking.

"I'm so sorry," Orion stumbled forward, and despite Chromia's cry of protest, he reached out and gathered Elita into his arms. She clutched at him, whimpering, spark throbbing, as he sat on the berth, holding her.

Everyone else filed in and I got up from my computer and joined them. I and entered Ratchet's makeshift medbay just behind Prowl. Ratchet glared at us, wishing he could shout at us all to get out of his office, but Orion was here and he wanted answers as much as the rest of us.

"What happened?" Perceptor asked again.

Orion looked down.

"Were you attacked? Did the Council try to arrest you?" Prowl asked.

"No." Orion said. "No…"

"Why?" Elita whispered.

Orion trembled. "I would never… Elita you know I'd never hurt you on purpose. I didn't even realize…"

"What. Happened?" Chromia said. "You have two astroseconds to convince me not to kill you."

Orion looked at me imploringly. Everyone else followed suit. I wasn't sure what to say. I still wasn't sure this was real. This was impossible.

"Are you… really Orion?" I asked.

Everyone stiffened.

Orion blinked. "W-what?" he stuttered. "What do you mean?"

"I can't hear you." I said each word slowly, feeling uncertain. Not quite sure if I wanted to admit it. If I said it out loud, would that make this real? Would that make him fake? Who was he? He looked like Orion and talked like Orion.

Everyone looked at him. Even Elita stared up at him in horror.

"I was speaking to the Council," Orion said. "Things weren't going well, and I was trying to prevent them from throwing us out or arresting us. And suddenly Alpha Trion gets up and… and…"

"And what?" Perceptor asked.

"They had refused to make Megatronus a Prime," Orion said quietly, "I'd been trying to change their minds about it. They… chose me instead."

Everyone stared. "What?" Chromia demanded.

"They appointed me as a Prime," Orion said.

"What?" Jazz echoed. "That wasn't the plan."

"I know," Orion said. "And I didn't expect this to happen. I still can't believe it … but Megatronus stormed out before I could stop him."

"They just made ya a Prime?" Jazz asked. "And ya just… went along with it?"

"It happened so quickly," Orion said. "And it felt right, in the moment. They asked me if I would accept the responsibility…" He shook his helm. "…I told them I would. There wasn't much of a ceremony. Alpha Trion had me take the oath and then…"

Silence fell.

"Megatronus was gonna be the Prime," Jazz said. "That was gonna be this great big historical thing. A slave becoming a Prime. Now we won't have the public on our side the way we wanted."

Ratchet huffed. "And forget about having Megatronus on our side."

"I'll just have to apologize—tell them I don't want this. I don't know if it's possible to reverse... I don't have the Matrix yet, of course, but something _did_ change when they appointed me. I felt it. I didn't mean for this to happen, though. And…" he looked down at Elita and shuttered his optics. "I'm so sorry."

"I can't verify his honesty," I said quietly.

They all stared at him again. His story sounded a little unlikely. Perceptor believed him. Elita believed him. So did Ratchet. Everyone else was skeptical.

Then Megatronus came into my range. He'd found his way back by himself and come in through the balcony. He frowned as he looked around the front room, wondering where we were. I opened the door to Ratchet's office and he headed toward us. He took the door from me and slammed it open all the way, but didn't come in.

"Megatronus!" Orion said. "Don't be angry, I didn't…"

"Don't call me that," Megatronus growled. "Don't speak to me at all you sparkless liar."

Orion looked down. "I didn't…"

"I see you came back here to tell everyone your version of what happened." He narrowed his optics. "Soundwave, tell me this is just some sort of misunderstanding." _Tell me that and I'll know you're lying too. I'll know you're on his side._

"I can't," I said.

Megatronus looked at me.

"Apparently," Jazz said. "Soundwave can't read their minds. Ya know, Primes."

Megatronus's optics blazed. "You had them go through with it while you were still there…"

"It all happened so fast…"

"Don't play the fool, Orion Pax! You waited. You rode my popularity until it took you to the Council and you told them _exactly what they wanted to hear!_ "

"No…" Orion said.

"You promised to pacify the public, whether or not the Council made any changes!"

"That's not what…"

"Unfortunately for you, _Prime,_ Soundwave can still read my processor, and confirm what I'm saying."

Orion looked at me, wide-opticed.

"What are you going to do?" Megatronus growled. "Sit there apologizing and looking innocent? Manipulate everyone into believing you? You're a leech, Pax. An energon-draining leech. And you've got what you wanted now, don't you?" _I thought I could trust him. I should have known not to trust anyone from Iacon._ "Well. I am going to continue to fight for the freedom of this city's mecha. Only I'm not going to do it from the comfort of a rich mech's tower. And anyone who wants to join me is welcome. You'll be able to find me. I'll be in the city for three orns." He looked at me. _I think I can expect to see you there, Soundwave. Don't let Orion send any double agents._ _Unless you're one. Then I'll just have to deal with you when that comes up._ "Anyone is welcome," He glared at Orion. "Except for you _._ You've already chosen your side. If I see your faceplate again, traitor, make no mistake I will kill you."

Orion stared at him, apparently at a loss for words.

"The rest of you will have to make a choice between the Council and the mecha of the city. Let's find out, shall we, how many of you were lying the whole time." He turned to leave. "Three orns," he called over his shoulder.

Orion stood, letting go of Elita. "Wait, Megatronus, don't go…"

Megatronus turned around and fired his arm cannon. Prowl saw and shoved Orion out of the way. The shot hit the wall across the room, leaving a smoking black mark. Then Megatronus turned and walked away again. No one called after him.

He left the tower the same way he'd come, leaping from the balcony to transform and fly away.

"He's _insane!_ " Ratchet said.

"Is he?" Jazz asked, looking at Orion.

Orion stared at Prowl. "That might have hit you…"

"Well it was certainly going to hit you," Prowl said, and nodded deferentially, "Prime, sir."

"No," Orion said. "Do not. Do not call me that."

"What do we do?" Red Alert demanded. "He'll incite the public to riot."

"Yeah," Jazz said. "That was the back-up plan, wasn't it? If things went wrong, we weren't just gonna stand back and watch everything collapse, were we? Well things obviously _didn't_ go well. No offense, Orion mech, but we needed Megatronus ta be the Prime. And it's kinda hard ta believe ya just _accidentally_ said yes when they asked ya if ya wanted ta take his place."

Orion averted his gaze again.

"Leave him alone," Elita said quietly.

"You're defending him," Jazz said. "Do ya hear yourself, Elita? He just essentially _left you_ and now just cuz he said sorry and looks sad about it ya're just gonna…"

"Hey," Moonracer said.

"Sorry," Jazz said, then looked at Orion again. "This mech's manipulating ya, ya know. He's doing it ta all of us. Me too. I wanna believe him, but..."

"Jazz," Orion said, sounding strained. "I never intended…"

"How da you know?" Jazz said. "Ya get what ya want, Orion. Always, always, always. I'm pretty sure if ya really didn't want ta be a Prime, ya could have talked your way out of it." He shook his helm. "I'm not buyin' it." He turned and walked away. _I need time to think about this, to figure out what I'm going to do. I have to be careful. I don't want to join the wrong side. Not again…_ He walked out of my range.

Orion sat down again and put his faceplate in his hands. We all stood around waiting for an explanation, or for someone else to speak.

"All right," Ratchet said. "Everyone out but Orion and Elita. Out!"

"But…" Moonracer said.

"I said get out!" Ratchet snapped. "I need to make sure they're all right, just get out!"

We left them there and Ratchet slammed the door.

I listened through Ratchet and Elita's audios as Orion explained in broken, halting phrases that Primes couldn't bond.

But it was all a puppet show to me. I couldn't hear him. There was no reason for me to believe he was sincere, or even telling the truth.

There was no question in my processor. I went to my room and warned my symbionts that we were leaving soon, then went to the computer and waited for information about where Megatronus was.

* * *

Within a few more joors, it was all over the news. The Council had appointed Orion Pax to become Optimus Prime, and he and Megatronus were no longer working together. The vast majority of our following were outraged, and they flocked to Megatronus by the thousands. It wasn't hard to find out where they were congregating.

But I couldn't join them until I'd completed a few tasks.

I stayed at Mirage's tower over the off-cycle, gathering information, preparing to leave.

Then, the next orn, I waited until Ratchet was alone, and went to talk to him in his office.

"Oh, Soundwave," he said, when he saw me. "What do you want?"

"I'm going."

Ratchet blinked. "You… going where?"

Then he understood.

"What?" he demanded. "You're insane too then. Megatron is…"

"More trustworthy than Orion," I finished for him. "I'm going. You should come."

"No," Ratchet said. "Absolutely not. Megatron wants _war!_ Hah! I told you we shouldn't bring him here. I _said_ it was a bad idea, and no one listened. Perceptor said it too. And Ironhide."

"You do-on't trust me?" I asked.

Ratchet hesitated. "You're saying Megatron is right?"

I nodded.

"And Orion betrayed him and told the Council what they wanted to hear so they'd make him a Prime."

I nodded again.

"No. Look, I've known Orion longer than I've known Megatron."

"And y-you've known me even longer," I said.

"I have," Ratchet said. "But I can _see_ that Megatron is insane."

"No," I said.

"Yes he is," Ratchet said.

"You're blind."

Ratchet looked directly at my screen. "Not as blind as you think. He talks like Searchlight… he even has a similar kind of recklessness. Except that Searchlight was good and he's not."

"He's mo-ore like Searchlight than you know," I said. "Trust me. Co-ome with me."

Ratchet sighed. "You don't know Orion was lying. Just because you can't read his mind—"

"But I can read Megatronus's."

Ratchet snorted. "And I can't read your mind, Soundwave, can I? How do I know _you're_ telling the truth?"

"Come with me."

"I said no," Ratchet said. _And the longer you argue with me the less I like the idea._ "You're making a mistake. I know you want that idiotic gladiator to be right. You always defend him, always back his side of the argument. Why? Do you want violence too?"

"Look," I said. "If you don't believe me who-o will you be-elieve? Megatronus has had to _fight._ He's _been_ in the places that need to change. Orion's pampered, naïve, a fool."

"Then why did Primus choose him?"

"Primus didn't!" I said. "He-e talked himself i-into the posi-ition."

Ratchet shook his helm. "I can't believe we're having this argument. Get out! If you're going to leave then leave, but I'm staying here. And when you realize you're wrong, maybe I'll try to talk Orion into letting you come back."

Fine then.

I turned and walked away. One more conversation and then I would leave. We had Jazz, but everyone else planned to stay. However, I wouldn't be a loyal friend to Searchlight if I didn't at least try to get our greatest potential asset on our side.

He was waiting for me in his room.

"Sit down," Prowl said, gesturing to a chair set up in the middle of the small room. He was seated on the berth, watching me carefully.

"Prowl…" I said.

"I've been expecting you," Prowl said. "Though you might as well give up now. The gladiator is much better with words than you are and he wasn't able to convince me to go with him."

"But he was te-elling the truth."

Prowl raised an optic ridge. _Oh, really._ "They all trusted you to be honest with them but I don't think you were. Unless you can offer me some proof that he _isn't_ going to hurt anyone unnecessarily..."

I was silent.

"Of course, you would try. If you can convince me to join you, then Orion is finished. Likewise, if you stay here, then we have a sure win… It's not too late to change your mind and stay. Surely you don't _want_ a war."

"Megatronus doesn't want war."

"Doesn't he?" Prowl asked. "But he will have one, the way he's acting. If you stay here you might be able to stop it."

"Don't try to convince me." I said.

Prowl's doorwings twitched. "But you've come to convince me, haven't you? You so _desperately_ want me on your side that you're willing to come in here and actually _talk_ to me, when you hate talking so much." Prowl smirked. "But I have made my decision already. Maybe you do see something in that gladiator that we don't. But if he really doesn't want war, then what _does_ he want?"

I was at a loss for a moment. "He wants freedom."

"Freedom for who?"

"Everyone."

"The Council too? How about mecha like Mirage? And who can define freedom? Does he mean equality? How does he intend to establish that?"

I looked down. He was going to win this, like he'd won that board game. Arguing with this mech brought nothing but frustration.

I stood. "You will regret not coming with me. I'm sure if you change your mind that Megatron will welcome you."

Prowl let out a huff of laughter and shook his helm.

I left, and headed to my room to get my symbionts.

"Where are we going?" Frenzy asked me cheerfully.

"To find Megatronus."

"Isn't he… angry at us?" Ravage asked. He hadn't quite been able to grasp the situation.

"Not at me," I said.

"Are we coming back afterward?" Frenzy asked. "I like it here. Except that there are so many things I'm not allowed to touch."

"We aren't coming back," I said. We got to the elevator and I stepped in. The door closed and we started to sink toward ground level.

"Is everyone else coming later?" Frenzy asked.

"No," Rumble said. He understood a little better. "Megatronus and Orion aren't going to work together anymore, are they?"

"No," I said.

 _Too bad,_ Laserbeak thought. _I didn't hate Orion._

Well, that was a first.

"They aren't?" Frenzy asked. "They should. They're friends. You should talk to them and get them to work together again."

"No," I said. "We're just going to join Megatronus. Is that… a-all right with everyone?"

"It's fine with us," Rumble said. "We'll go wherever you do, Soundwave."

 _Same here,_ Laserbeak thought.

"Ravage?"

"Yes," Ravage said. "Is Ratchet coming?"

"No."

Ravage looked at me. _What? Really? But he has to go with you. You're friends._

"Not anymore."

Ravage stared up at me. _You can't stop being friends. Searchlight made you promise. I remember that._

My spark froze. He had made us promise that, hadn't he? Maybe I should have tried harder to get Ratchet to come with me. If Searchlight were here, he would have convinced Ratchet to come…

Except that he had tried that as well. And Ratchet hadn't listened to him either.

And the choice between Ratchet and Searchlight wasn't a very difficult one.

I took in a deep vent. "It'll work out. We're doing the right thing. Maybe Ratchet will see that and come join us later. Orion can't be-e truste-ed."

"Okay," Ravage said. "That's all right then."

* * *

I found Megatronus in a crowd, as always. "…They have betrayed you. They've thrown their lot in with the Council." He saw me, smiled and discretely waved me over, then went back to addressing the crowd.

"We'll let them! I say let them. They aren't the mecha of the city. They never truly cared for you. They used me to gain support among the masses.," He shook his helm. "The only thing they want to free is themselves. But I was never interested in playing politics. I say let them have their lies. We will tear them down and expose them!"

There was a cheer.

Megatronus smiled. "But we're not going to call ourselves Autobot. Autobot was a scam, and we're through being lied to. We're through being patronized. By our might! By our strength in numbers we will show the world who is lying."

I reached him and stood by him, waiting for him to finish.

"They'll try to push us down. Try to call us liars and warmongers. But if that's inevitable, then we'll beat them to it. We, my mecha, will be called Decepticons."

A shiver ran through the crowd and the sun dome seemed darker all of a sudden. As if this were something inevitable. The name, however ridiculous it was, sounded right when Megatronus said it.

"And I, Megatron, will lead you all to freedom—but not through talking and pretty ideals and politics! We will _take_ our freedom!"

More cheering.

"Decepticons!" Megatronus said, raising a hand high. "Who's with me?"

My processor was dizzy with their conviction. They raised their hands, and Megatronus fired up into the sky. The shot was swallowed in the blue of the atmosphere.

Then he was finished. He turned to me. _Come._

I followed him into a nearby building.

"Soundwave," he said. "I am going to make the decision to trust you."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"And just so you know, if you betray me, you'll regret it."

I nodded again. "Understood."

"Is anyone else coming?"

"Jazz."

"I already spoke to him," Megatronus said. "Anyone else?"

I shook my helm. "I couldn't co-onvince them."

"That's alright," Megatronus said. "I don't need them. You and Jazz will be enough." He smirked, then sighed. "I honestly thought I could trust Orion. Tell me truthfully, were you lying for him the whole time?"

He wanted to hear it. But I had to tell the truth. "As far as I ca-an tell, he didn't intend to be-ecome a Prime. But the ma-ain reason he wa-anted to bring you to-o Iacon was to gain support from the me-echa here."

Megatronus nodded.

"And I-I can see how when gi-iven the oppo-ortunity…"

"He would take my rightful position from me," Megatronus said. "And I considered him a friend, almost a brother."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Megatronus said. "His betrayal will only make me stronger. And he will pay for it. Be prepared, Soundwave. We are leaving for Kaon in an orn and a half. I made a promise to the mecha there and I intend to keep it."

"Are… you sure…"

"That I ought to keep my promises? Yes. What else would you have me do?"

I hesitated. He was right, after all. "I apologize. Kaon is your city. Liberating it sho-ould be top priority."

"Don't just say that," Megatronus said.

"I am sincere," I told him. "And even if I have re-eservations, I will support you." I knelt. "I a-am yours to command."

I wouldn't let him down again. I'd stay with him until he saw. It would only take a taste of war and he'd lose his craving for it. This was like the time he'd almost gotten us killed in that library in Simfur, or the time Motormaster had hurt me. He would learn. We would liberate Kaon and free his friends in the mines, and then he'd see that violence wasn't the answer. He'd back down, and I'd find a way to bring him back.

And if I couldn't bring him back, at least I'd back him up like he'd always needed me to.

"I'm honored," Megatronus said. "And grateful to you."

I stood again.

"Jazz will be back next orn. Make sure he comes and speaks with me. I need him at my right hand. And I need you to blend into the background and listen. Does that sound agreeable?"

I nodded. It was what I did best.

Megatronus nodded back. "Thank you." There was something different about him. He was himself now, more than before… and less than before. He was more confident, but also…darker.

"Well then, I need to get back out there." He put a hand on my shoulder, careful of Ravage. "I'll come and talk to you again in a joor or so. Until then." He nodded, then turned and left the room. I watched him go, pulling my range in.

This was real, wasn't it? Just a few orns ago, we were wondering whether we ought to put all of that information up on the public database.

And now Autobot was broken. Megatronus was going to go back to Kaon to liberate it, and Orion was a Prime. Everything had turned upside down all of a sudden.

But things would work out. I still had my symbionts and I still had my best friend. And that was all I really needed, whatever came next.

I kept telling myself that for a long time.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hoped you enjoyed it!
> 
> Just so you know: this story, its sequel, and various side stories and extra scenes are also on fanfiction.net if you're interested. I'll probably do some minor editing on them and bring them over here eventually like I did with Many Voices, but it might be a while. 
> 
> Happy Holidays!


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